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MAP07: NETIQUETTE ----------------- "When thou enter a city abide by its customs." -- The Talmud We've covered a lot of ground this week. I've shown you the differences between each of the three levels of connectivity, I've taught you how to read an e-mail address (and I *still* don't think that "p-crispy-one" is funny!), I've burned it into your mind that you send letters to the list address and commands to the LISTSERV address, and I even let James Milles introduce you to the world of other mailing list programs. The Internet, however, is made up of more than computers and commands. All of the computers and commands would be useless if it weren't for the people who used the computers and commands. The commands are neat, but it is the PEOPLE who make the Internet what it is. The problem is that every grouping of people develops its own culture and common rules that governs the behavior of the people. Today's lesson is going to give you an insider's look at how to avoid some of the mistakes that EVERYONE makes when they start out on the Internet. If you can take what is said in this lesson to heart, you are going to find that your travels on the Information Superhighway are going to be a whole lot smoother. The following "Netiquette" guide (that's the common way to describe the ettiquette of the Internet) was written by my father, the Rev. Bob "Bob" Crispen. I think you'll soon see where my sense of humor comes from :) In fact, it was because of my dad that I first got onto the Internet (I got an e-mail account so that I could e-mail him and ask him for money). ----- NETIQUETTE by the Rev. Bob "Bob" Crispen (Patrick Crispen's daddy) One of these days you're going to get tired of Web surfing or listening in on LISTSERVs, IRCs, Usenet newsgroups or whatever, and you're going to want to say something yourself. At that moment your life will change. Let's see if we can't make that a change for the better. Evangelism: Everyone is tempted from time to time to evangelize, to stride boldly into the enemy's camp and throw down the gauntlet. We will never see the end of people who pop up on comp.sys.intel praising Macs and Amigas; who send mail to the SKEPTIC list that flying saucers really, truly do exist; who enlighten the Buddhist newsgroups that they're all bound for hell, and on and on. In the entire history of the net, no one has managed to do this without looking like a complete idiot. If you believe you are the one person who will succeed where millions have failed, then you're ready to learn about ... Flames: There is nothing you can say that won't offend somebody: >It's a bright, sunny day today. You filthy *@!?$, what have you got against Seattle? Flames (violent verbal expressions of disapproval), misunderstandings, overreactions, and hurt feelings are par for the course. Four lessons from experience: (1) Hedge your bets. Rather than saying, "Metal rules! Death to all that appose!!" try saying "In my humble opinion (often abbreviated IMHO) metal bands perfectly express my feelings, choices, and lifestyle. Your mileage may vary" (another net cliche', less frequently abbreviated YMMV). By the way, BTW is another frequent net abbreviation, for what it's worth (FWIW). (2) Apologize. When misunderstanding is the culprit, and especially if you respect the person who misunderstood, take the blame on yourself for being unclear, apologize, say what you meant more clearly (if appropriate) and put it behind you. As in real life (remember that?) people who are quick to anger are often equally quick to forgive. (3) Avoid flame bait (conduct which gravely offends the norms, mores and folkways of a particular group). "Now wait a minute!" you say. "Do you mean that something that's accepted behavior on one list or newsgroup will draw dozens of stinging, ridiculing comments in another?" I sure do. What can you do? Lurk a while before you post. Read what's said like an anthropologist, trying to discover what the big no-nos are. The beginning of a school term is a wonderful time to do this, as you will observe the clueless newbies who weren't smart enough to read this paragraph being torn to shreds. There are some things you should NEVER do, and we'll list them in a minute, but let's get to the last bit of advice. (4) Bow down to the group's gods. In every Usenet newsgroup and listserv mailing list there are old, grey heads who have earned the respect of everyone in the group. For example, amongst the subscribers to the list discussing the late American bandleader Stan Kenton are the producer of a Kenton box set and the authors of definitive Kenton biographies and discographies. You are entirely ignorant compared to those people. Never pretend you're anything else. They would dearly love to help you -- to answer a question, help you find a rare record -- but you'll always come out second best in a head-butting contest with them. Still other group members have earned their status through long service. Friendships have developed over many years, and marriage is not unknown. By commenting abusively to or about one of these gods, you'll earn not only her enmity, but the enmity of all of her friends -- which may be everyone in the group but you! Dos and don'ts (or how to avoid most flames): (1) DON'T include the entire con- (1) DO cut mercilessly. Leave just tents of a previous posting in enough to indicate what you're your reply. responding to. NEVER include mail headers except maybe the "From:" line. If you can't figure out how to delete lines in your mailer software, paraphrase or type the quoted material in. (2) DON'T reply to a point in a (2) DO quote (briefly) or para- posting without quoting or para- phrase. If the original "Subject:" phrasing what you're responding to line was "Big dogs" make sure yours and who said it. Reason: a dozen says "Re: Big dogs". Some REPLY postings may occur between the functions do this automatically. original message and your reply. By net convention, included lines At some sites your reply may get are preceded by ">" (greater-than there before the original. signs). Some mail editors and newsreaders do this automatically. Others require you to do it manu- ally or set the "indent character" to ">". (3) DON'T send a message saying (3) It's always a risk to start a "Why doesn't anybody say anything new topic (often called a thread). about X?" or "Who wants to talk The group may have just finished a about X?" long, bitter war about that very subject. But if you want to take the risk, SAY SOMETHING yourself about the subject you're raising. (4) DON'T send lines longer than (4) Some mail editor tools only 70 characters. This is a kindness SEEM to insert line breaks for you, to folks with terminal-based mail but actually don't, so that every editors or newsreaders. Some mail paragraph is one immense line. gateways truncate extra characters Learn what your mail editor does. turning your deathless prose into gibberish. (5) DON'T SEND A MESSAGE IN ALL (5) DO use normal capitalization. CAPS. CAPITALIZED MESSAGES ARE Separate your paragraphs with blank HARDER TO READ THAN LOWER CASE OR lines. Make your message inviting MIXED CASE. to your potential readers. (6) DON'T betray confidences. It (6) DO read the "To:" and "Cc:" is all too easy to quote a personal lines in your message before you letter in a posting to the entire send it. Are you SURE you want the group. mail to go there? (7) DON'T make statements which (7) DO treat every post as though can be interpreted as official po- you were sending a copy to your sitions of your organization or boss, your minister, and your worst offers to do business. Saying enemy. "Boy, I'd sure like to have one of them Crays" could result in a truck at your loading dock and a bill in the mail even larger than your student loan. (8) DON'T rely on the ability of (8) DO remember that no one can your readers to tell the differ- hear your tone of voice. Use emo- ence between serious statements ticons (or smilies) like :-) or ;^) and satire or sarcasm. It's hard -- turn your head counterclockwise to write funny. It's even harder to see the smile. You can also use to write satire. caps for emphasis or use net con- ventions for italics and underlines as in: You said the guitar solo on "Comfortably Numb" from Pink Floyd's _The Wall_ was *lame*? Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND???!!! (9) DON'T make a posting that says (9) DO remember the immortal words nothing but "Me, too." This is of Martin Farquhar Tupper (1810- most annoying when combined with 1889): "Well-timed silence hath (1) or (2) above. Ditto for "I more eloquence than speech." don't know." A word to people living in the United States: the net is international. If you tell a Belgian she's being unAmerican, SHE ISN'T OFFENDED. OF COURSE she's unAmerican; you're unBelgian. She doesn't care about being lectured on the First Amendment and American values. She doesn't HAVE a First Amendment, and she thinks Belgian values are BETTER. We Americans have made fools of ourselves by forgetting this everywhere else. Let's try to behave a little better on the net. Finally, many groups have had the sense to write down some of their norms and folkways in a frequently asked questions (FAQ) list along with (what else?) the answers to frequently asked questions. Many Usenet FAQs are posted monthly or so on the news.answers. Listowners of listservs are often quite willing to mail you the FAQ for the list. In fact, they may have already told you where it is in the letter you get welcoming you to the list. With all we've said above, and with all the help newsgroup moderators and listowners are providing to newcomers, it almost seems like you'd have to work at it to go charging in with your mouth open and your eyes and ears shut, thereby aggravating and alienating some otherwise perfectly nice people. The good Lord gave us two eyes and two ears and one mouth to remind us of that very thing. But he gave us ten fingers, and here we are. ----- Now a note from me: HOMEWORK: There are DOZENS of Netiquette guides on the Internet, although IMHO none of them are as good as my dad's :) (1) Actually, Arlene Rinaldi has a HUGE Netiquette guide that I am going to show you how to retrieve using file transfer protocol, gopher, and the WWW later on in the workshop. So your homework today is: 1. Save this lesson 2. Re-read this lesson several times. 3. Have a GREAT weekend! NOTES: (1) My smileys don't have noses :) PATRICK DOUGLAS CRISPEN THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS LETTER DO NOT PCRISPE1@UA1VM.UA.EDU NECESSARILY REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THE THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA - TUSCALOOSA ROADMAP: COPYRIGHT PATRICK CRISPEN 1994. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.