Chip Hitware 3/Chip_Hitware_Vol_03.iso/chiphit3/dfu/sincyour/oneliner.txt

Text File | 1995-11-13 | 3KB | 37 lines

If you've ever had to climb a watertower with a bucket of white paint to defend your sister's honor, you might be a Redneck.
If your mother's Christmas shopping list includes 'ammo', you might be a Redneck.
If you own a homemade fur coat, you might be a Redneck.
If you go to a stock car race and don't need a program, you might be a Redneck.
If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a Redneck.
If you own a house that's mobile and five cars that aren't, you might be a Redneck.
If your boat hasn't left the driveway in 15 years, you might be a Redneck.
If Chiggers are on your list of top 10 hygiene concerns, you might be a Redneck.
If you burn your yard rather than mow it, you might be a Redneck.
If you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen, you might be a Redneck.
If birds are attracted to your beard, you might be a Redneck.
If your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest, you might be a Redneck.
If you were hunting or fishing when any of your kids were born, you might be a Redneck.
You might be a Redneck if you've ever hit a deer with your car... deliberately.
If you've ever eaten a roadkill, you might be a Redneck.
If you've ever lost a loved one to Kudzu, you might be a Redneck.
If going to the bathroom at night involves finding your shoes and a flashlight, you might be a Redneck.
If you've ever been involved in a custody dispute over a hunting dog, you might be a Redneck.
If the directions to your house include "turn off the paved road", you might be a Redneck.
If the taillight covers of your car are made of red tape, you might be a Redneck.
If your front porch collapses and kills more than two dogs, you might be a Redneck.
If you have to go help your rich uncle take the wheels off his new home, you might be a Redneck.
If you have flowers growing in a bathroom appliance sitting in your front yard, you might be a Redneck.
If you know how many bales of hay your car will hold, you might be a Redneck.
If every socket in your house violates a firecode, you might be a Redneck.
If the dog-catcher calls for backup when visiting your house, you might be a Redneck.
If in tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?", you might be a Redneck.
If your parrot knows the phrase, "Open up, ATF agents!", you might be a Redneck.
If a sign reading, "Say 'NO' to Crack!" reminds you to pull up your jeans, you might be a Redneck.
If you've ever had to back away from an underpass because of bridge clearance restrictions, you might be a Redneck.
If the diploma hanging on your wall contains the phrase "Trucking Institute", you might be a Redneck.
If you are still holding on to Confederate money as an investment, you might be a Redneck.
If two or more of your relatives are named for Southern generals, you might be a Redneck.
If your CB antenna is required to have a flashing red light on top, you might be a Redneck.
If you've ever eaten froglegs outside of a fancy restaurant, you might be a Redneck.
If going into town requires a full tank of gas, you might be a Redneck.