/* Compressed with CompressRexx v2.1, (C) 1993-96 Robert Hofmann */
parse arg cmd' 'nick;options results;address"AMIRC.1";bold = d2c(2);inv = d2c(22);getchannel;Channel=RESULT;getmynick;me=RESULT;Call Setclip('DFxTIME',Time());if cmd='' then do;"echo P="d2c(27)"b|DWaRFx| Usage: /DwDEF <Definition Number 1-22>";"echo P="d2c(27)"b|DWaRFx| Or";"echo P="d2c(27)"b|DWaRFx| Usage: /DwDEF RANDOM";exit;end;if cmd='GREENDOG' then do;"echo P="d2c(27)"b|DWaRFx| Secret Mode Innitiated";"say /Msg GåZ Welcome GåZ, Author of |DWaRFx|....Your Programming has NOT been tampered with yet.";exit;end;"echo P="d2c(27)"b|DWaRFx| Using |DWaRFDeF|"inv" By GåZ Murfin "inv" Definition #"bold""cmd""bold" in "bold""channel""bold"";"say |DWaRFx| Get It At - http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~gazy/";"say -^*-^*-^*-";IF upper(cmd)='RANDOM' then do;val=random(1,20,time(s));cmd=val;"say "bold"Mr Grant Naylor Sir...please pick a Random RedDwarf definition....KrytaZ I think Ill have definition #"cmd"."bold"";call MainPart();EXIT;END;if upper(cmd)~='RANDOM' then do;call mainpart();EXIT;end
Exit;MainPart:;SELECT;WHEN cmd='1' THEN DO;"say Jovian Boogle Hoops - Yet another form of cutlery which Kryten is skilled in the use of.";END;WHEN cmd='2' THEN DO;"say Junior Angler - All the thrills and spills of fresh water fly fishing in your own home, and as such, a favourite game with Lister and the Cat.";"say Cat however, had to lay down the law, telling Lister that junior Angler is the nearest hes going to come to making love to him. Lister was doubtless quite relieved.";END;WHEN cmd='3' THEN DO;"say Walrus Polishing kit, Portable - Just the kind of junk that Lister would send off for in order to receive some mail.";END;WHEN cmd='4' THEN DO;"say 001100111011100011110011100111100 - An old android saying which, loosley translated means Dont stand around jabbering whne youre in mortal danger.";END;WHEN cmd='5' THEN DO;"say Rubber Plant - Lister possessed one of these and, according to Holly, spoke more words to it than he ever did to Kristine Kochanski";END;WHEN cmd='6' THEN DO
"say Pot Noodle - One of the few items of food left aboad Starbug when it crash landed on an ice planet. Fortunately for Lister, there was a can of DogFood present,";"say which he could eat instead. Lister did eventually find an edible pot noodle, aboad the High version of Red Dwarf.";END;WHEN cmd='7' THEN DO;"say Promotion Prospects - Captain Hollister described Listers as being Zero, and Rimmers as being comical";END;WHEN cmd='8' THEN DO;"say Pool - The game at which Lister considers himself a deaver. He claims that his friends at the AigBurth Arms knew him as Dave Cinzano Bianco Lister, because once he was on the table and they couldnt get him off";"say His skills came in useful when he was called upon to pot a planet into a whiteHole, thus sealing it up";END;WHEN cmd='9' THEN DO;"say Pointy Stick Game - In order to play this youll need a pointy stick and a tv weather girl. Beyond that youll have to use your imagination.";END;WHEN cmd='10' THEN DO
"say Plato - According to everyone else, a Greek philosopher. According to Hollys data banks, the inventor of the plate.";END;WHEN cmd='11' THEN DO;"say Glen Miller - Rimmer beleived him to have been kidnapped by Aliens - and he was worried that they might give him back!";END;WHEN cmd='12' THEN DO;"say Mister Fat Bastard 2044 - The title with which Rimmer felt captain Hollister should have been honoured";END;WHEN cmd='13' THEN DO;"say Bhindi Bhaji - The companion of Tarka-Dal....actually the Cat";"say "bold"|DWaRFx|";END;WHEN cmd='14' THEN DO;"say The Big crunch - When the Universe finally stops expanding, this reverse big bang will occur and time will begin to flow backwards";END;WHEN cmd='15' THEN DO;"say Better dead Than Smeg - Even Rimmer Agrees!";"say /nick Rimmer";"say /me Agrees.";END;WHEN cmd='16' THEN DO;"say Trace - According to Rimmer, space jargon for tracking down someone or something. Though Holly had never heard of it and was convinced he had made it up to be cool";END;WHEN cmd='17' THEN DO
"say Underpants - Lister admits to only having one pair of these. And delights in the revelation that Rimmer keeps his on coat hangers";END;WHEN cmd='18' THEN DO;"say Hard light remote belt - The means by which Rimmer sustains his hard light hologramatic presence away from starbug";END;WHEN cmd='19' THEN DO;"say Hannah - A dog belonging to Listers stepfather, which features prominently in the only photo he has of him";END;WHEN cmd='20' THEN DO;"say Joe - No other name given. A member of the Red Dwarf crew known to geroge McIntyre.";END;WHEN cmd='21' THEN DO;"say Johnsons baby bud - The most romantic thing Rimmer has ever had in his ear.";END;WHEN cmd='22' THEN DO;"say Jump-Leads - The devices which Rimmer expresses an interest in attaching to krytens Nipple Nuts should he fail to shape up";END;END
