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DSILLYPR.PAK
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1997-08-22
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121 lines
DETECTIVE SARGENT SILLY'S PROBLEM PAGE
WRITTEN BY DEANO OF SILLY SOFTWARE
Hi, I'm D.S. Silly of Mobsters City fame (plug) and I've been asked to help
you with your problems. As a long serving policeman in the Poosworth police
I have had lots of experience in solving problems, so if you have a problem
then send it to me at this address.
D.S. SILLY'S PROBLEM PAGE
POWER DISKZINE
999 LETSBY AVENUE
POOSFORD
MARS
IK2 LL4
Right, here are my problems for this week...
Dear D.S. Silly,
I'm being picked on by a boy at my school, every day I get money from my mum
to buy sweeties and this bully keeps beating me up and pinching them. What
can I do to stop him?
William Snotface.
D S SILLY REPLIES:
Pinching sweeties is a very serious and naughty offence, and this boy should
be punished. If I were you I would stick a piece of cellotape on his bum,
and pull it off very fast. That will teach the little nit.
Dear D.S. Silly,
My parents think I'm daft because I like bananas, is this true?
Imso Silly.
D.S. SILLY REPLIES:
Not at all, I like bananas as well, in fact I've got hundreds.
Dear D.S. Silly,
I have a very shameful problem, I have a big boil on my bum. How can I get
rid of it quickly?
Man on hospital picture in Mobsters City.
D.S. SILLY REPLIES:
A boil on the bum eh? Hmm, very nasty. I suggest you lay over the bed and
whack it with a mallet. This will soon get rid of it. I've heard that
perverts like to do this as well, even without a boil.
Dear D.S. Silly,
All my life I have been very silly, but my girlfriend is very serious. How
can I make her as silly as me?
Phil Loop Loop do da do.
D.S. SILLY REPLIES:
Yes, you see, a lot of people are sadly, not born silly. But we the lucky
ones can fix that. All we have to do is, paint our eyeballs green, and stand
in a bucket of custard going FREEP FREEP FREEP!
Dear D.S. Silly,
I want to make a diskzine called POWER, and I would like to know, with my
charm and wit, will it be any good?
James L. Mathews (miss)
D.S. SILLY REPLIES:
No!
Dear D.S. Silly,
I have been engaged to my girlfriend for two year now, and lately she has
been snubbing me. Everytime we go shopping she talks to the girls on the
checkout and just ignores me.It's the same thing when we go to the pictures,
she always talks to someone else. What can I do? I love her so much and
don't want to lose her. But I wish she would talk to me again. I wonder if
it's something to do with the fact that when we go out, I like to strip off
and sing...'I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts'.
D.S. SILLY REPLIES:
Well it's obvious isn't it? You should sing something else.
Well that's it from me, and remember, big or small, if you have a problem
then send it to me at the usual address.