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OS/2 Shareware BBS: 18 REXX
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18-REXX.zip
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MURPHY.ZIP
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MURPHY.CMD
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OS/2 REXX Batch file
|
1990-06-22
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36KB
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1,367 lines
/* MURPHY STRIKES AGAIN */
SAY ' '
ML = RANDOM(378)
MLS = 'ML' || ML
INTERPRET 'CALL' MLS
SAY ' '
SAY ' '
EXIT
ML0:
SAY 'BUT I ONLY CHANGED 1 LINE'
SAY 'AND IT WON''T AFFECT ANYTHING!'
RETURN
ML1:
SAY 'SELF STARTERS --- WON''T.'
RETURN
ML2:
SAY 'LEAKPROOF SEALS --- WILL.'
RETURN
ML3:
SAY 'INTERCHANGEABLE PARTS --- WON''T.'
RETURN
ML4:
SAY ' ALL AMERICAN CARS ARE BASICALLY CHEVROLETS.'
RETURN
ML5:
SAY 'A FAIL-SAFE CIRCUIT WILL DESTROY ALL OTHERS.'
RETURN
ML6:
SAY 'IF BUILDERS BUILT BUILDINGS THE WAY PROGRAMMERS WROTE PROGRAMS,'
SAY 'THEN THE FIRST WOODPECKER THAT CAME ALONG WOULD DESTROY CIVILIZATION'
RETURN
ML7:
SAY 'WHEN THINGS ARE GOING WELL, SOMEONE WILL INEVITABLY EXPERIMENT'
SAY 'DETRIMENTALLY.'
RETURN
ML8:
SAY 'IF NOT CONTROLLED, WORK WILL FLOW TO THE COMPETENT MAN UNTIL HE'
SAY 'SUBMERGES.'
RETURN
ML9:
SAY 'THE DEFICIENCY WILL NEVER SHOW ITSELF DURING THE TEST RUNS'
RETURN
ML10:
SAY 'THE LAGGING ACTIVITY IN A PROJECT WILL INVARIABLY BE FOUND'
SAY 'IN THE AREA WHERE THE HIGHEST OVERTIME RATES LIE WAITING'
RETURN
ML11:
SAY 'IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BUILD A FOOL PROOF SYSTEM!'
SAY 'BECAUSE FOOLS ARE SO INGENIOUS'
RETURN
ML12:
SAY 'TALENT IN STAFF WORK OR SALES WILL CONTINUALLY BE'
SAY 'INTERPRETED AS MANAGERIAL ABILITY.'
RETURN
ML13:
SAY 'INFORMATION TRAVELS MORE SURELY TO THOSE WITH A'
SAY 'LESSER NEED TO KNOW'
RETURN
ML14:
SAY 'THE "THINK POSITIVE" LEADER TENDS TO LISTEN TO HIS'
SAY 'SUBORDINATES PREMONITIONS ONLY DURING POST THE POSTMORTEMS.'
RETURN
ML15:
SAY 'AN ORIGINAL IDEA CAN NEVER EMERGE FROM COMMITTEE'
SAY 'IN ITS ORIGINAL FORM.'
RETURN
ML16:
SAY 'NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.'
RETURN
ML17:
SAY 'WHEN THE PRODUCT IS DESTINED TO FAIL, THE DELIVERY SYSTEM'
SAY 'WILL PERFORM PERFECTLY.'
RETURN
ML18:
SAY 'CLEARLY STATED INSTRUCTIONS WILL CONSISTENTLY PRODUCE'
SAY 'MULTIPLE INTERPRETATIONS'
RETURN
ML19:
SAY 'THE CRUCIAL MEMORANDUM WILL BE SHARED IN THE OUT-BASKET BY'
SAY 'THE PAPER CLIP OF THE OVERLYING MEMO AND GO TO FILE.'
RETURN
ML20:
SAY 'ON SUCCESSIVE CHARTS OF THE SAME ORGANIZATION THE NUMBER OF'
SAY 'BOXES WILL NEVER DECREASE.'
RETURN
ML21:
SAY 'IT IS OK TO BE IGNORANT IN SOME AREAS,'
SAY 'BUT SOME PEOPLE ABUSE THE PRIVILAGE.'
RETURN
ML22:
SAY 'EVERYONE BREAKS MORE THAN THE SEVEN-YEAR-BAD-LUCK ALLOTMENT'
SAY 'TO COVER ROTTEN LUCK THROUGHOUT AN ENTIRE LIFETIME.'
RETURN
ML23:
SAY 'SUCCESS CAN ONLY BE INSURED BY DEVISING A DEFENSE AGAINST'
SAY 'FAILURE OF THE CONTINGENCY PLAN.'
RETURN
ML24:
SAY 'ADDING MANPOWER TO A LATE SOFTWARE PRODUCT MAKES IT LATER'
RETURN
ML25:
SAY 'PERFORMANCE IS DIRECTLY AFFECTED BY THE PERVERSITY OF'
SAY 'INANIMATE OBJECTS'
RETURN
ML26:
SAY 'NEVER OFFEND PEOPLE WITH STYLE'
SAY 'WHEN YOU CAN OFFEND THEM WITH SUBSTANCE.'
RETURN
ML27:
SAY 'OUR CUSTOMERS PAPERWORK IS PROFIT'
SAY 'OUR PAPERWORK IS LOSS.'
RETURN
ML28:
SAY 'AT ANY LEVEL OF TRAFFIC, ANY DELAY IS INTOLERABLE.'
RETURN
ML29:
SAY 'AS THE ECONOMY GETS BETTER, EVERYTHING ELSE GETS WORSE.'
RETURN
ML30:
SAY 'THIS SPACE FOR RENT'
RETURN
ML31:
SAY 'THE MORE OBJECTIVES YOU ISSUE TO SOLVE A PROBLEM,'
SAY 'THE WORSE IT GETS.'
RETURN
ML32:
SAY 'COP-OUT NUMBER 1.'
SAY 'YOU SHOULD OF SEEN IT WHEN I GOT IT.'
RETURN
ML33:
SAY 'WHEN YOU''RE UP TO YOUR ASS IN ALLIGATORS, IT IS'
SAY 'DIFFICULT TO KEEP YOUR MIND ON THE FACT THAT YOUR PRIMARY'
SAY 'OBJECTIVE WAS TO DRAIN THE SWAMP.'
RETURN
ML34:
SAY 'THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS'
SAY 'AND LITTERED WITH SLOPPY ANALYSES!'
RETURN
ML35:
SAY 'IF THE ASSUMPTIOMS ARE WRONG,'
SAY 'THE CONCLUSIONS AREN''T LIKELY TO BE VERY GOOD'
RETURN
ML36:
SAY 'THE ORGANIZATION OF ANY PROGRAM REFLECTS THE ORGANIZATION'
SAY 'OF THE PEOPLE WHO DEVELOPED IT.'
RETURN
ML37:
SAY 'THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A "DIRTY CAPITALIST".'
SAY 'ONLY A CAPITALIST.'
RETURN
ML38:
SAY 'ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, BUT NOTHING IS EASY.'
RETURN
ML39:
SAY 'THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH'
SAY 'AFTER THE REST OF US GO TO THE STARS.'
RETURN
ML40:
SAY 'CAPITALISM CAN EXIST IN ONE OF TWO STATES:'
SAY 'WELFARE OR WARFARE.'
RETURN
ML41:
SAY 'HISTORY PROVES NOTHING.'
RETURN
ML42:
SAY 'A LOT OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE PROGRESS IS JUST SO MUCH'
SAY 'TECHNOLOGICAL ROCCOCO.'
RETURN
ML43:
SAY 'A LITTLE HUMILITY IS ARROGANCE'
RETURN
ML44:
SAY 'A COUP THAT IS KNOWN IN ADVANCE IS A COUP THAN DOES NOT'
SAY 'TAKE PLACE.'
RETURN
ML45:
SAY 'NO EXPERIMENT IS EVER A COMPLETE FAILURE.'
SAY 'IT CAN ALWAYS BE USED AS A BAD EXAMPLE.'
RETURN
ML46:
SAY 'DESPITE THE SIGN THAT SAYS "WET PAINT",'
SAY 'PLEASE DON''T'
RETURN
ML47:
SAY 'EVERYTHING TASTES MORE OR LESS LIKE CHICKEN.'
RETURN
ML48:
SAY 'I FINALLY GOT IT ALL TOGETHER...'
SAY 'BUT I FORGOT WHERE I PUT IT.'
RETURN
ML49:
SAY 'IF YOUR NEXT POT OF CHILI TASTES BETTER, IT PROBABLY IS'
SAY 'BECAUSE OF SOMETHING LEFT OUT, RATHER THAN ADDED.'
RETURN
ML50:
SAY 'THERE IS ALWAYS ONE MORE BUG'
RETURN
ML51:
SAY 'THE BIG GUYS ALWAYS WIN.'
RETURN
ML52:
SAY 'NOTHING IS EVER ACCOMPLISHED BY A REASONABLE MAN.'
RETURN
ML53:
SAY 'ANY SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY IS'
SAY 'INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM MAGIC.'
RETURN
ML54:
SAY 'IT''S ALWAYS DARKEST JUST BEFORE THE LIGHTS GO OUT.'
RETURN
ML55:
SAY 'IT IS BETTER TO BE PART OF THE IDLE RICH CLASS'
SAY 'THAN BE PART OF THE IDLE POOR CLASS CLASS'
RETURN
ML56:
SAY 'EACH PROBLEM SOLVED INTRODUCES A NEW UNSOLVED PROBLEM.'
RETURN
ML57:
SAY 'FOR EVERY CREDIBILITY GAP THERE IS A GULLIBILITY FILL.'
RETURN
ML58:
SAY 'IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO, AND YOU PUT IT OFF LONG ENOUGH'
SAY 'CHANCES ARE SOMEONE ELSE WILL DO IT FOR YOU.'
RETURN
ML59:
SAY 'PEOPLE DON''T CHANGE; THEY ONLY BECOME MORE SO.'
RETURN
ML60:
SAY 'EVERYBODY''S GOTTA BE SOMEPLACE.'
RETURN
ML61:
SAY 'NATURE IS A MOTHER.'
RETURN
ML62:
SAY 'IF YOU''VE GOT THEM BY THE BALLS,'
SAY 'THEIR HEARTS AND MINDS WILL FOLLOW.'
RETURN
ML63:
SAY 'PEOPLE WILL ACCEPT YOUR IDEA MUCH MORE READILY IF YOU TELL'
SAY 'THEM BENJAMIN FRANKLIN SAID IT FIRST.'
RETURN
ML64:
SAY 'IF AT FIRST YOU DON''T SUCCEED, TRANSFORM YOUR DATASET.'
RETURN
ML65:
SAY 'ANY GIVEN PROGRAM, WHEN RUNNING, IS OBSOLETE.'
RETURN
ML66:
SAY 'ANY GIVEN PROGRAM WILL COST MORE AND TAKE LONGER.'
RETURN
ML67:
SAY 'IF A PROGRAM IS USEFUL, IT WILL BE CHANGED.'
RETURN
ML68:
SAY 'IF A PROGRAM IS USELESS, IT WILL BE DOCUMENTED.'
RETURN
ML69:
SAY 'ANY GIVEN PROGRAM WILL EXPAND TO FILL AVAILABLE MEMORY.'
RETURN
ML70:
SAY 'THE VALUE OF A PROGRAM IS PROPORTIONAL'
SAY 'TO THE WEIGHT OF ITS OUTPUT.'
RETURN
ML71:
SAY 'DON''T MESS WITH MRS. MURPHY!'
RETURN
ML72:
SAY 'PROGRAM COMPLEXITY GROWS UNTIL IT EXCEEDS THE CAPABILITY'
SAY 'OF THE PROGRAMMER WHO MUST MAINTAIN IT.'
RETURN
ML73:
SAY 'MAKE IT POSSOBLE FOR PROGRAMMERS TO WRITE PROGRAMS'
SAY 'IN ENGLISH AND YOU WILL FIND THAT PROGRAMMERS CANNOT'
SAY 'WRITE IN ENGLISH.'
RETURN
ML74:
SAY 'WHEN MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE THROWN OUT OF WORK'
SAY 'UNEMPLOYMENT RESULTS.'
RETURN
ML75:
SAY 'IF YOU CAN''T MEASURE IT, I''M NOT INTERESTED'
RETURN
ML76:
SAY 'THE BEST WAY TO LIE IS TO TELL THE TRUTH.....'
SAY 'CAREFULLY EDITED TRUTH.'
RETURN
ML77:
SAY 'THERE ARE THREE WAYS TO GET THINGS DONE'
SAY 'DO IT YOURSELF'
SAY 'HIRE SOMEONE TO DO IT OR'
SAY 'FORBID YOUR KIDS TO DO IT.'
RETURN
ML78:
SAY 'I THINK ... THEREFORE I AM CONFUSED'
RETURN
ML79:
SAY 'HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF.'
SAY 'THAT''S ONE OF THE THINGS WRONG WITH HISTORY'
RETURN
ML80:
SAY 'ANY TIME YOU WISH TO DEMOSTRATE SOMETHING, THE NUMBER OF'
SAY 'FAULTS IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE NUMBER OF VIEWERS.'
RETURN
ML81:
SAY '90% OF EVERYTHING IS CRUD.'
RETURN
ML82:
SAY 'NATURE WILL TELL YOU A DIRECT LIE IF SHE CAN.'
RETURN
ML83:
SAY 'THOSE WITH THE BEST ADVICE OFFER NO ADVICE.'
RETURN
ML84:
SAY 'SPEAK SOFTLY AND OWN A BIG, MEAN DOBERMAN.'
RETURN
ML85:
SAY 'SPEAK SOFTLY AND OWN A BIG, MEAN PIT BULL.'
RETURN
ML86:
SAY 'DEMOCRACY IS THAT FORM OF GOVERNMENT WHERE'
SAY 'EVERYBODY GETS WHAT THE MAJORITY DESERVES.'
RETURN
ML87:
SAY 'IF YOU''RE WORRIED ABOUT BEING CRAZY,'
SAY 'DON''T BE OVERLY CONSERNED:'
SAY 'IF YOU WERE, YOU WOULD THINK YOU WERE SANE.'
RETURN
ML88:
SAY 'PILLS TO BE TAKEN IN TWOS ALWAYS COME'
SAY 'OUT OF THE BOTTLE IN THREES.'
RETURN
ML89:
SAY 'FLYNN IS DEAD'
SAY 'TRON IS DEAD'
SAY 'LONG LIVE THE MCP.'
RETURN
ML90:
SAY 'WHY WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW? WE MAY NOT MAKE IT THROUGH TODAY!'
RETURN
ML91:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DON''T NUMBER PARAGRAPHS NAMES'
SAY 'CONSECUTIVELY.'
RETURN
ML92:
SAY 'IF YOU''RE FEELING GOOD, DON''T WORRY,'
SAY 'YOU''LL GET OVER IT.'
RETURN
ML93:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DON''T GRUMBLE ABOUT THE DISADVANTAGES'
SAY 'OF COBOL WHEN THEY DON''T KNOW ANY OTHER LANGUAGE.'
RETURN
ML94:
SAY 'DEFINITION OF AN ELEPHANT:'
SAY 'A MOUSE BUILT TO GOVERNMENT SPECIFICATIONS'
RETURN
ML95:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS ARE KIND TO ROOKIES.'
RETURN
ML96:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DON''T NOTCH THEIR DESKS FOR EACH'
SAY 'COMPLETED SERVICE REQUEST.'
RETURN
ML97:
SAY 'YOU DON''T HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO WORK HERE'
SAY 'BUT IT SURE HELPS!!!!!!!!!'
RETURN
ML98:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DON''T ANNOUNCE HOW MANY TIMES THE'
SAY 'OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT CALLED THEM LAST NIGHT.'
RETURN
ML99:
SAY 'A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE ....'
SAY 'IS LIKE ... NIGHT!'
RETURN
ML100:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS ARE SECURE ENOUGH TO WRITE READABLE CODE,'
SAY 'WHICH THEY THEN SELF-RIGHTEOUSLY REFUSE TO EXPLAIN.'
RETURN
ML101:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DON''T PLAY VIDEO GAMES. THEY WRITE THEM.'
RETURN
ML102:
SAY 'ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG, WILL GO WRONG.'
RETURN
ML103:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS UNDERSTAND PASCAL.'
RETURN
ML104:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS KNOW IT''S NOT OPERATIONS'
SAY 'FAULT IF THEIR JOBS GO INTO "HOGS".'
RETURN
ML105:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DO NOT EAT BREAKFAST FROM THE'
SAY 'VENDING MACHINES'
RETURN
ML106:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS PUNCH UP THEIR OWN PROGRAMS.'
RETURN
ML107:
SAY 'WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU A LEMON'
SAY 'MAKE LEMONADE'
RETURN
ML108:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS HAVE READ TO STANDARDS MANUAL'
SAY 'BUT WON''T ADMIT IT'
RETURN
ML109:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DON''T ADVERTISE THEIR HANGOVERS'
RETURN
ML110:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DON''T DRESS FOR SUCCESS UNLESS'
SAY 'THEY ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE OTHERS THAT THEY ARE'
SAY 'GOING ON INTERVIEWS.'
RETURN
ML111:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DO NOT PRACTICE FOUR-SYLLABLE WORDS BEFORE'
SAY 'WALKTHROUGHS.'
RETURN
ML112:
SAY 'ALL WARRANTIES EXPIRE UPON PAYMENT OF INVOICE.'
RETURN
ML113:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS ARGUE WITH THE SYSTEMS ANALYST AS A'
SAY 'MATTER OF PRINICIPAL.'
RETURN
ML114:
SAY 'THE FINAL TEST IS WHEN IT GOES PRODUCTION ...'
SAY 'W H E N I T G O E S P R O D U C T I O N ...'
SAY 'W H E N I T G O E S P R O D U C T '
SAY 'W H E N I T G O E S P R O '
RETURN
ML115:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DRINK TOO MUCH COFFEE SO THAT THEY WILL'
SAY 'ALWAYS SEEM TENSE AND OVERWORKED.'
RETURN
ML116:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS ALWAYS HAVE A BETTER IDEA.'
RETURN
ML117:
SAY 'ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS A CROWD WILL'
SAY 'NEVER BE FOLLOWED BY A CROWD.'
RETURN
ML118:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS CAN DO OCTAL, HEXADECIMAL AND'
SAY 'BINARY MATH IN THEIR HEADS.'
RETURN
ML119:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DON''T WRITE MEMOS.'
RETURN
ML120:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS KNOW SAAD MEANS.'
RETURN
ML121:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DO NOT UTTER PROFANITIES AT AN ELEVATED'
SAY 'DECIBLE LEVEL.'
RETURN
ML122:
SAY 'WHERE YOU STAND ON A ISSUE DEPENDS ON WHERE SIT.'
RETURN
ML123:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DO NOT APPLY DP TERMINOLOGY TO NON-DP'
SAY 'SITUATIONS.'
RETURN
ML124:
SAY 'I NO LONGER GET LOST IN THE SHUFFLE....'
SAY 'I SHUFFLE ALONG WITH THE LOST'
RETURN
ML125:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMMERS DO NOT READ BOOKS LIKE'
SAY '"EFFECTIVE LISTENING" AND "COMMUNICATION SKILLS".'
RETURN
ML126:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS PRINT ONLY CLEAN COMPILES,'
SAY 'FIXING ALL ERRORS THROUGH THE TERMINAL.'
RETURN
ML127:
SAY 'THE EARLY WORM DESERVES THE BIRD.'
RETURN
ML128:
SAY 'LEAD, FOLLOW, OR GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!!'
RETURN
ML129:
SAY 'ALL GOOD THING MUST COME TO AN END.'
SAY 'I WANT TO KNOW WHEN THEY START!'
RETURN
ML130:
SAY 'A DIPLOMAT IS SOMEONE WHO CAN TELL YOU TO GO TO HELL'
SAY 'IN SUCH A WAY YOU LOOK FORWARD TO THE TRIP.'
RETURN
ML131:
SAY 'BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO GO AROUND IN CIRCLES,'
SAY 'FOR THEY WILL BE KNOWN AS WHEELS.'
RETURN
ML132:
SAY 'NEVER EAT PRUNES WHEN YOU ARE FAMISHED.'
RETURN
ML133:
SAY 'KEEP EMOTIONALLY ACTIVE,'
SAY 'CATER TO YOUR FAVORITE NEUROSIS.'
RETURN
ML134:
SAY 'A RACF PROTECTED DATASET IS INACCESSIBLE.'
RETURN
ML135:
SAY 'RACF IS A FOUR LETTER WORD.'
RETURN
ML136:
SAY 'YOU MAY BE RECOGINIZED SOON.'
SAY 'HIDE!'
SAY 'IF THEY FIND YOU, LIE.'
RETURN
ML137:
SAY 'YOU CAN PRAY HARD ENOUGH TO MAKE WATER RUN UPHILL'
SAY 'HOW HARD?'
SAY 'HARD ENOUGH TO MAKE WATER RUN UPHILL'
RETURN
ML138:
SAY 'AVOID REALITY AT ALL COSTS.'
RETURN
ML139:
SAY 'PROGRAM DESIGN PHILOSOPHY:'
SAY 'START AT THE BEGINNING AND CONTINUE UNTIL THE END,'
SAY 'THEN STOP (LEWIS CARROLL)'
RETURN
ML140:
SAY 'A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FOOT.'
RETURN
ML141:
SAY 'ONLY A MEDIOCRE PERSON IS ALWAYS AT THEIR BEST.'
RETURN
ML142:
SAY 'FRIENDS COME AND GO, BUT ENEMIES ACCUMULATE.'
RETURN
ML143:
SAY 'IN A HIERARCHICAL ORGANIZATION, THE HIGHER THE LEVEL,'
SAY 'THE GREATER THE CONFUSION.'
RETURN
ML144:
SAY 'THE FIRST TIME IS FOR LOVE'
SAY 'THE NEXT TIME IS $200.'
RETURN
ML145:
SAY 'OF TWO POSSIBLE EVENTS,'
SAY 'ONLY THE UNDESIRED ONE WILL OCCUR.'
RETURN
ML146:
SAY 'THE FASTER THE PLANE,'
SAY 'THE NARROWER THE SEATS.'
RETURN
ML147:
SAY 'IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO KNOW.'
RETURN
ML148:
SAY 'IF ON ACTUARIAL BASIS THERE IS A 50 50 CHANCE THAT'
SAY 'SOMTHING WILL GO WRONG,'
SAY 'IT WILL ACTUALLY GO WRONG NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN.'
RETURN
ML149:
SAY 'A MAN OF QUALITY DOES NOT FEAR A WOMAM SEEKING EQUALITY.'
RETURN
ML150:
SAY 'THE FIRST RULE OF INTELLIGENT TINKERING IS TO'
SAY 'SAVE ALL THE PARTS.'
RETURN
ML151:
SAY '1) THINGS WILL GET WORSE BEFORE THEY GET BETTER'
SAY '2) WHO SAID THINGS WOULD GET BETTER?'
RETURN
ML152:
SAY 'IF YOU TRY TO PLEASE EVERYBODY, NOBODY WILL LIKE IT.'
RETURN
ML153:
SAY 'THERE IS A SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM;'
SAY 'THE ONLY DIFFICULTY IS FINDING IT.'
RETURN
ML154:
SAY 'DON''T MAKE YOUR DOCTOR YOUR HEIR.'
RETURN
ML155:
SAY 'DON''T ASK THE BARBER IF YOU NEED A HAIRCUT.'
RETURN
ML156:
SAY 'IF THERE ISN''T A LAW, THERE WILL BE.'
RETURN
ML157:
SAY 'IF YOU DON''T LIKE THE ANSWER,'
SAY 'YOU SHOULDN''T HAVE ASKED THE QUESTION.'
RETURN
ML158:
SAY 'DO NOT BELIEVE IN MIRACLES -- RELY ON THEM.'
RETURN
ML159:
SAY 'YOU CAN''T EXPECT TO HIT THE JACKPOT'
SAY 'IF YOU DON''T PUT A FEW NICKELS IN THE MACHINE.'
RETURN
ML160:
SAY 'UNLESS YOU INTEND TO KILL HIM IMMEDIATELY; NEVER KICK A MAN'
SAY 'IN THE BALLS, NOT EVEN SYMBOLICALLY OR PERHAPS ESPECIALLY'
SAY 'NOT SYMBOLICALLY.'
RETURN
ML161:
SAY 'FREUD''S 23RD LAW: IDEAS ENDURE AND PROSPER IN INVERSE'
SAY 'PROPORTION TO THEIR SOUNDNESS AND VALIDITY.'
RETURN
ML162:
SAY 'A SHORT CUT IS THE LONGEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS.'
RETURN
ML163:
SAY 'IF YOU WANT TO MAKE AN ENEMY, DO SOMEONE A FAVOR.'
RETURN
ML164:
SAY 'IF YOU KNOW, YOU CAN''T SAY'
RETURN
ML165:
SAY 'THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH,'
SAY 'BUT NOT ITS MINERAL RIGHTS.'
RETURN
ML166:
SAY '1) YOU CAN''T WIN'
SAY '2) YOU CAN''T BREAK EVEN'
SAY '2) YOU CAN''T EVEN QUIT THE GAME'
RETURN
ML167:
SAY 'WHEN EATING AN ELEPHANT TAKE ONE BYTE AT A TIME'
RETURN
ML168:
SAY 'COMMON SENSE IS NOT SO COMMON'
RETURN
ML169:
SAY 'IF WE LEARN BY OUR MISTAKES,'
SAY 'I''M GETTING ONE HELL OF AN EDUCATION!!'
RETURN
ML170:
SAY 'FUZZY PROJECT OBJECTIVES ARE USED TO AVOID THE'
SAY 'EMBARRASSMENT OF ESTIMATING THE CORRESPONDING COSTS.'
RETURN
ML171:
SAY 'USEFULNESS IS INVERSELY PROPOTIONAL TO ITS REPUTATION'
SAY 'FOR BEING USEFUL'
RETURN
ML172:
SAY 'YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING IN THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK.'
RETURN
ML173:
SAY 'THE PROBABILITY OF ANYTHING HAPPENING IS IN'
SAY 'INVERSE RATIO TO ITS DESIRABILITY.'
RETURN
ML174:
SAY 'THE FIRST MYTH OF MANAGEMENT IS THAT IT EXISTS'
SAY 'THE SECOND MYTH OF MANAGEMENT IS THAT SUCCESS EQUAL SKILL.'
RETURN
ML175:
SAY 'IF IT''S GOOD THEY WILL STOP MAKING IT.'
RETURN
ML176:
SAY 'INSIDE EVERY LARGE PROGRAM'
SAY 'IS A SMALL PROGRAM STRUGGLING TO GET OUT'
RETURN
ML177:
SAY 'A MEMORANDUM IS WRITTEN NOT TO INFORM THE READER'
SAY 'BUT TO PROTECT THE WRITER.'
RETURN
ML178:
SAY 'NEVER INSULT AN ALLIGATOR'
SAY 'UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE CROSSED THE RIVER.'
RETURN
ML179:
SAY 'ANYTHING HIT WITH A BIG ENOUGH HAMMER WILL FALL APART.'
RETURN
ML180:
SAY 'WHEN YOUR OPPONENT IS DOWN, KICK HIM.'
RETURN
ML181:
SAY 'THE MAN WHO CAN SMILE WHEN THINGS GO WRONG HAS THOUGHT OF'
SAY 'SOMEONE HE CAN BLAME IT ON.'
RETURN
ML182:
SAY 'THE CHANCE OF A PIECE OF BREAD FALLING WITH THE BUTTERED SIDE DOWN'
SAY 'IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO THE COST OF THE CARPET.'
RETURN
ML183:
SAY 'IN THE FIGHT BETWEEN YOU AND THE WORLD, BACK THE WORLD.'
RETURN
ML184:
SAY 'LAST GUYS DON''T FINISH NICE'
RETURN
ML185:
SAY 'NEVER ADMIT ANYTHING,'
SAY 'NEVER REGRET ANYTHING,'
SAY 'WHATEVER IT IS, YOUR NOT RESPONSIBLE.'
RETURN
ML186:
SAY 'IF YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE IT THAT WAY, IT IS PROBABLY WRONG.'
RETURN
ML187:
SAY 'WHEN WORKING TOWARD THE SOLUTION OF A PROBLEM,'
SAY 'IT ALWAYS HELPS IF YOU KNOW THE ANSWER.'
SAY 'PROVIDED OF COURSE YOU KNOW THERE IS A PROBLEM.'
RETURN
ML188:
SAY 'THE USEFULMESS OF ANY MEETING'
SAY 'IS IN INVERSE PROPORTION TO THE ATTENDANCE.'
RETURN
ML189:
SAY 'THE SUN GOES DOWN JUST WHEN YOU NEED IT THE MOST.'
RETURN
ML190:
SAY 'PURE DRIVEL TENDS TO DRIVE ORDINARY'
SAY 'DRIVEL OFF THE TV SCREEN'
RETURN
ML191:
SAY 'WHATEVER CREATES THE GREATEST INCONVENIENCE FOR THE LARGEST'
SAY 'NUMBER MUST HAPPEN.'
RETURN
ML192:
SAY 'NO MATTER HOW LONG OR HARD YOU SHOP FOR AN ITEM, AFTER'
SAY 'YOU HAVE BOUGHT IT, IT WILL BE ON SALE SOMEWHERE CHEAPER.'
RETURN
ML193:
SAY 'SANITY AND INSANITY OVERLAP A FINE GRAY LINE.'
RETURN
ML194:
SAY 'A DISAGREEABLE TASK IS ITS OWN REWARD.'
RETURN
ML195:
SAY 'IF THINGS WERE LEFT TO CHANCE, THEY''D BE BETTER.'
RETURN
ML196:
SAY 'THE PHONE WILL NOT RING UNTIL YOU LEAVE YOUR DESK AND WALK'
SAY 'TO THE OTHER END OF THE BUILDING.'
RETURN
ML197:
SAY 'ANYBODY CAN WIN - UNLESS THERE HAPPENS TO BE A SECOND ENTRY'
RETURN
ML198:
SAY 'A PRESIDENT OF A DEMOCRACY IS A MAN WHO IS ALWAYS READY,'
SAY 'WILLING, AND ABLE TO LAY DOWN YOUR LIFE FOR HIS COUNTRY.'
RETURN
ML199:
SAY 'IF A THING IS DONE WRONG OFTEN ENOUGH'
SAY 'IT BECOMES RIGHT.'
RETURN
ML200:
SAY 'PEOPLE WILL BUY ANYTHING THAT IS ONE PER CUSTOMER.'
RETURN
ML201:
SAY 'IF YOU JUST TRY LONG ENOUGH AND HARD ENOUGH, YOU CAN ALWAYS'
SAY 'MANAGE TO BOOT YOURSELF IN THE POSTERIOR.'
RETURN
ML202:
SAY 'NO ONE''S LIFE, LIBERTY, OR PROPERTY ARE SAFE'
SAY 'WHILE THE LEGISLATURE IS IN SESSION.'
RETURN
ML203:
SAY 'NEVER SAY "OOPS" AFTER SUBMITTING A JOB'
RETURN
ML204:
SAY 'BAD NEWS DRIVES GOOD NEWS OUT OF THE MEDIA.'
RETURN
ML205:
SAY 'JUST WHEN YOU GET REALLY GOOD AT SOMETHING,'
SAY 'YOU DON''T NEED TO DO IT ANYMORE.'
RETURN
ML206:
SAY 'IF FACTS DO NOT CONFORM TO THE THEORY,'
SAY 'THEY MUST BE DISPOSED OF.'
RETURN
ML207:
SAY 'ALMOST ANYTHING IS EASIER TO GET INTO THAN OUT OF.'
RETURN
ML208:
SAY 'WHEN PROPERLY ADMINISTERED, VACATIONS DO NOT DIMINISH'
SAY 'PRODUCTIVITY, FOR EVERY WEEK YOU ARE AWAY AND GET NOTHING'
SAY 'DONE, THERE IS ANOTHER WEEK WHEN YOUR BOSS IS AWAY AND YOU'
SAY 'GET TWICE AS MUCH DONE.'
RETURN
ML209:
SAY 'NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEBODY'
SAY 'WHO KNEW THAT IT WOULD.'
RETURN
ML210:
SAY 'THE OTHER LINE ALWAYS MOVES FASTER.'
RETURN
ML211:
SAY 'NEVER EAT AT A PLACE CALLED MOMS,'
SAY 'NEVER PLAY CARDS WITH A MAN CALLED DOC,'
SAY 'AND NEVER LIE DOWN WITH A WOMAN WHO HAS MORE TROUBLES THAN YOU.'
RETURN
ML212:
SAY 'IN ORDER TO GET A LOAN, YOU MUST FIRST PROVE YOU DON''T NEED IT.'
RETURN
ML213:
SAY 'WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS.'
RETURN
ML214:
SAY 'ANYTHING YOU TRY TO FIX WILL TAKE LONGER AND COST MORE THAN'
SAY 'YOU THOUGHT.'
RETURN
ML215:
SAY 'CLOSE COUNTS IN HORSESHOES, HANDGRENADES, AND'
SAY 'THERMONUCLEAR DEVICES.'
RETURN
ML216:
SAY 'THE LION AND THE CALF SHALL LIE DOWN TOGETHER,'
SAY 'BUT THE CALF WON''T GET MUCH SLEEP.'
RETURN
ML217:
SAY 'IF YOU FOOL AROUND WITH A THING VERY LONG YOU WILL SCREW IT UP.'
RETURN
ML218:
SAY 'IT IS BETTER FOR CIVILIZATION TO BE GOING DOWN THE DRAIN,'
SAY 'THAN COMING UP IT.'
RETURN
ML219:
SAY 'A $300.00 PICTURE TUBE WILL PROTECT A 10¢ FUSE BY BLOWING FIRST'
RETURN
ML220:
SAY 'JUSTICE ALWAYS PREVAILS...'
SAY 'THREE TIMES OUT OF SEVEN'
RETURN
ML221:
SAY 'IF IT JAMS --- FORCE IT. IT IS BREAKS,'
SAY 'IT NEEDED REPLACED ANYWAY.'
RETURN
ML222:
SAY 'I HAVE YET TO SEE ANY PROBLEM, HOWEVER COMPLICATED, WHICH,'
SAY 'WHEN YOU LOOKED AT IT IN THE RIGHT WAY, DID NOT BECOME'
SAY 'STILL MORE COMPLICATED. POUL ANDERSON'
RETURN
ML223:
SAY 'ANY TOOL DROPPED WHILE REPAIRING A CAR WILL ROLL UNDERNEATH TO THE'
SAY 'EXACT CENTER.'
RETURN
ML224:
SAY 'NO MATTER WHICH DIRECTION YOU START,'
SAY 'IT''S ALWAYS AGAINST THE WIND COMING BACK.'
RETURN
ML225:
SAY 'THE REPAIRMAN WILL NEVER HAVE SEEN A MODEL QUITE LIKE YOURS BEFORE'
RETURN
ML226:
SAY 'DON''T FORCE IT,'
SAY 'GET A BIGGER HAMMER.'
RETURN
ML227:
SAY 'WHEN A BROKEN APPLIANCE IS DEMOSTRATED FOR THE REPAIRMAN,'
SAY 'IT WILL WORK PERFECTLY.'
RETURN
ML228:
SAY 'PITY THE POOR EGG;'
SAY 'IT ONLY GETS LAID ONCE IN ITS LIFE'
RETURN
ML229:
SAY 'AN OPTIMIST IS A PERSON WHO LOOKS FORWARD TO MARRIAGE.'
SAY 'A PESSIMIST IS A MARRIED OPTIMIST!'
RETURN
ML230:
SAY 'A PESSIMIST IS AN OPTIMIST WITH EXPERIENCE.'
RETURN
ML231:
SAY 'OLD PROGRAMMERS NEVER DIE - THEY JUST ABEND.'
RETURN
ML232:
SAY 'THE SUCCESS OF ANY VENTURE WILL BE HELPED BY PRAYER,'
SAY 'EVEN IN THE WRONG DEMOMINATION.'
RETURN
ML233:
SAY 'JUST ABOUT THE TIME WHEN YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE ENDS MEET'
SAY 'SOMEBODY MOVES THE ENDS!!'
RETURN
ML234:
SAY 'JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE PARANOID'
SAY 'DOESN''T MEAN "THEY" AREN''T OUT TO GET YOU'
RETURN
ML235:
SAY 'AN IRISHMAN IS NOT DRUNK AS LONG AS'
SAY 'HE CAN HANG ONTO A SINGLE BLADE OF GRASS'
SAY 'AND NOT FALL OFF OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH.'
RETURN
ML236:
SAY 'SOME COME TO THE FOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE TO DRINK,'
SAY 'SOME PREFER TO GARGLE.'
RETURN
ML237:
SAY 'EVERYTHING IS REVEALED TO HE WHO TURNS OVER ENOUGH STONES,'
SAY '(INCLUDING THE SNAKES THAT HE DID NOT WANT TO FIND.)'
RETURN
ML238:
SAY 'EVERYBODY SHOULD BELIEVE IN SOMETHING;'
SAY 'I BELIEVE I''LL HAVE ANOTHER DRINK.'
RETURN
ML239:
SAY 'IF AN EXPERIMENT WORKS, YOU MUST HAVE USED THE WRONG EQUIPMENT.'
RETURN
ML240:
SAY 'THOSE WHOSE APPROVAL YOU SEEK THE MOST GIVE YOU THE LEAST'
RETURN
ML241:
SAY 'BUILD A SYSTEM THAT EVEN A FOOL CAN USE,'
SAY 'AND ONLY A FOOL WILL USE IT.'
RETURN
ML242:
SAY 'YOU CAN LEAD A HORTICULTURE, BUT YOU CAN''T MAKE HER THINK.'
RETURN
ML243:
SAY 'EVERYONE HAS A SCHEME FOR GETTING RICH THAT WILL NOT WORK.'
RETURN
ML244:
SAY 'IT''S ALWAYS THE WRONG TIME OF THE MONTH'
RETURN
ML245:
SAY 'IN ANY HIERARCHY, EACH INDIVIDUAL RISES TO HIS OWN LEVEL'
SAY 'OF INCOMPETENCE, AND REMAINS THERE.'
RETURN
ML246:
SAY 'IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU FALL DOWN AS LONG AS YOU PICK'
SAY 'UP SOMETHING FROM THE FLOOR WHILE YOU GET UP.'
RETURN
ML247:
SAY 'YOU WILL REMEMBER THAT YOU FORGOT TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH'
SAY 'WHEN THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS TWO DOORS AWAY.'
RETURN
ML248:
SAY 'MISERY NO LONGER LOVES COMPANY'
SAY 'NOW IT INSISTS ON IT.'
RETURN
ML249:
SAY 'THE RACE IT NOT ALWAYS TO THE SWIFT NOR THE BATTLE TO THE'
SAY 'STRONG, BUT THAT''S THE WAY TO BET.'
RETURN
ML250:
SAY 'SOME OF IT PLUS THE REST OF IT IS ALL OF IT.'
RETURN
ML251:
SAY 'THERE''S NEVER TIME TO DO IT RIGHT, BUT THERE''S ALWAYS'
SAY 'TIME TO DO IT OVER.'
RETURN
ML252:
SAY 'ON A BEAUTIFUL DAY LIKE THIS IT''S HARD TO BELIEVE ANYONE'
SAY 'CAN BE UNHAPPY -- BUT WE WILL WORK ON IT.'
RETURN
ML253:
SAY 'WHEN IN DOUBT, MUMBLE, WHEN IN TROUBLE, DELEGATE.'
RETURN
ML254:
SAY 'THE MORE RIDICULOUS A BELIEF SYSTEM,'
SAY 'THE HIGHER THE PROBABILITY OF ITS SUCCESS.'
RETURN
ML255:
SAY 'ANYTHING GOOD IN LIFE IS EITHER ILLEGAL, IMMORAL, OR FATTENING.'
RETURN
ML256:
SAY 'OLD AGE IS ALWAYS FIFTEEN YEARS OLDER THAN I AM.'
RETURN
ML257:
SAY 'IT IS MORALLY WRONG TO ALLOW SUCKERS TO KEEP THEIR MONEY.'
RETURN
ML258:
SAY 'WHEN YOU''RE UP TO YOUR NOSE ........'
SAY 'BE SURE TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.'
RETURN
ML259:
SAY 'ONE''S LIFE TENDS TO BE LIKE A BEAVER''S'
SAY 'ONE DAM THING AFTER ANOTHER.'
RETURN
ML260:
SAY 'A BIRD IN THE HAND IS SAFER THAN OVERHEAD.'
RETURN
ML261:
SAY 'THE RATIO OF TIME INVOLVED IN WORK TO TIME AVAILABLE FOR'
SAY 'WORK IS USUALLY ABOUT 0.6'
RETURN
ML262:
SAY 'REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE:'
SAY 'THOSE THAT HAVE THE GOLD MAKE THE RULES.'
RETURN
ML263:
SAY 'BLESSED IS HE WHO HAS REACHED THE POINT OF NO RETURN AND'
SAY 'KNOWS IT FOR HE SHALL ENJOY LIVING'
RETURN
ML264:
SAY 'EVERYTHING EAST OF THE SAN ANDREAS FAULT WILL EVENTUALLY'
SAY 'PLUNGE INTO TO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.'
RETURN
ML265:
SAY 'I FINALLY GOT IT ALL TOGETHER.....'
SAY 'BUT I FORGOT WHERE I PUT IT.'
RETURN
ML266:
SAY 'NATURE ALWAYS SIDES WITH THE HIDDEN FLAW.'
RETURN
ML267:
SAY 'BLESSED IS HE WHO EXPECTS NO GRATITUDE,'
SAY 'FOR HE SHALL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED'
RETURN
ML268:
SAY 'THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL IS THE HEADLAMP OF'
SAY 'AN ONCOMING TRAIN.'
RETURN
ML269:
SAY 'CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.'
RETURN
ML270:
SAY 'YOU CAN OBSERVE A LOT JUST BY WATCHING'
RETURN
ML271:
SAY 'IF IT CAN BE BORROWED AND IT CAN BE BROKEN,'
SAY 'YOU WILL BORROW IT AND'
SAY 'YOU WILL BREAK IT'
RETURN
ML272:
SAY 'NEVER SLEEP WITH ANY ONE CRAZIER THAN YOURSELF.'
RETURN
ML273:
SAY 'LIVE WITHIN YOUR INCOME,'
SAY 'EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO BORROW TO DO SO.'
RETURN
ML274:
SAY 'BEAUTY IS ONLY SKIN DEEP, UGLY GOES CLEAR TO THE BONE.'
RETURN
ML275:
SAY 'NEVER GO TO A DOCTOR WHOSE OFFICE PLANTS HAVE DIED.'
RETURN
ML276:
SAY 'TO KNOW YOURSELF IS THE ULTIMATE FORM OF AGGRESSION.'
RETURN
ML277:
SAY 'AN OUNCE OF APPLICATION IS WORTH A TON OF ABSTRACTION.'
RETURN
ML278:
SAY 'NEVER PLAY LEAPFROG WITH A UNICORN.'
RETURN
ML279:
SAY 'A BIRD IN THE HAND IS DEAD.'
RETURN
ML280:
SAY 'A SMITH AND WESSON BEATS FOUR ACES.'
RETURN
ML281:
SAY 'NEVER PUT ALL YOUR EGGS IN YOUR POCKET.'
RETURN
ML282:
SAY 'IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL,'
SAY 'YOU OBVIOUSLY DON''T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.'
RETURN
ML283:
SAY 'IF AT FIRST YOU DON''T SUCCEED,'
SAY 'BLAME IT ON YOU SUPERVISOR.'
RETURN
ML284:
SAY 'IF MORE THAN ONE PERSON IS RESPONSIBLE FOR A'
SAY 'MISCALCULATION, NO ONE WILL BE AT FAULT.'
RETURN
ML285:
SAY 'DON''T BITE THE HAND THAT HAS YOUR PAY CHECK IN IT.'
RETURN
ML286:
SAY 'IN CASE OF DOUBT, MAKE IT SOUND CONVINCING.'
RETURN
ML287:
SAY 'WHEN IN DOUBT, MUMBLE'
SAY 'WHEN IN TROUBLE, DELEGATE'
SAY 'WHEN IN CHARGE, PONDER'
RETURN
ML288:
SAY 'PLEASE DON''T STEAL, THE IRS HATES COMPETITION'
RETURN
ML289:
SAY 'NEVER ARGUE WITH A FOOL,'
SAY 'PEOPLE MIGHT NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.'
RETURN
ML290:
SAY 'YOU CAN''T GUARD AGAINST THE ARBITRARY'
RETURN
ML291:
SAY 'PEOPLE ARE DIVIDED INTO THREE GROUPS:'
SAY 'THOSE WHO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN,'
SAY 'THOSE WHO WATCH THINGS HAPPEN, AND'
SAY 'THOSE WHO WONDER WHAT HAPPENED.'
RETURN
ML292:
SAY 'I NO LONGER GET LOST IN THE SHUFFLE,'
SAY 'I SHUFFLE ALONG WITH THE LOST.'
RETURN
ML293:
SAY 'THE ONE THING MONEY CAN NOT BUY IS POVERTY.'
RETURN
ML294:
SAY 'YOU ARE NOT DRUNK IF YOU CAN LAY ON THE FLOOR WITHOUT HOLDING ON'
RETURN
ML295:
SAY 'IN ANY HOUSEHOLD, JUNK ACCUMULATES TO THE SPACE'
SAY 'AVAILABLE FOR STORAGE.'
RETURN
ML296:
SAY 'DON''T STOP TO STOMP ON ANTS'
SAY 'WHEN THE ELEPHANTS ARE STAMPEDING'
RETURN
ML297:
SAY 'THE LONGER THE TITLE THE LESS IMPORTANT THE JOB'
RETURN
ML298:
SAY 'ANY IMPROBABLE EVENT WHICH WOULD CREATE MAXIMUM CONFUSION'
SAY 'IF IT DID OCCUR, WILL OCCUR.'
RETURN
ML299:
SAY 'WHEN YOU ARE RIGHT BE LOGICAL,'
SAY 'WHEN YOU ARE WRONG BE-FUDDLE.'
RETURN
ML300:
SAY 'FOR EVERY HUMAN PROBLEM, THERE IS A NEAT, PLAIN SOLUTION --'
SAY 'AND ITS ALWAYS WRONG.'
RETURN
ML301:
SAY 'THERE ARE NO WINNERS IN LIFE; ONLY SURVIVORS'
RETURN
ML302:
SAY 'WHEN THEY WANT IT BAD (IN A RUSH), THEY GET IT BAD.'
RETURN
ML303:
SAY 'THE YOO-HOO YOU YOO-HOO INTO THE FORREST IS THE YOO-HOO YOU GET BACK'
RETURN
ML304:
SAY 'YOU CAN''T TELL HOW DEEP A PUDDLE IS UNTIL YOU STEP INTO IT'
RETURN
ML305:
SAY 'THE IDEA IS TO DIE YOUNG AS LATE AS POSSIBLE.'
RETURN
ML306:
SAY 'NO MAN IS ALONE WHILE EATING SPAGHETTI.'
RETURN
ML307:
SAY 'IT''S BETTER TO RETIRE TOO SOON THAN TOO LATE.'
RETURN
ML308:
SAY 'A MAN SHOULD BE GREATER THAN SOME OF HIS PARTS.'
RETURN
ML309:
SAY 'NOTHING IS EVER AS SIMPLE AS IT SEEMS.'
RETURN
ML310:
SAY 'EVERYTHING TAKES LONGER THAN YOU EXPECT.'
RETURN
ML311:
SAY 'LEFT TO THEMSELVES, ALL THINGS GO FROM BAD TO WORSE.'
RETURN
ML312:
SAY 'IF YOU SEE THAT THERE ARE FOUR POSSIBLE WAYS IN WHICH A'
SAY 'PROCEDURE CAN GO WRONG, AND CIRCUMVENT THESE, THEN A'
SAY 'FIFTH WAY, UNPREPARED FOR, WILL PROMPTLY DEVELOP.'
RETURN
ML313:
SAY 'IF YOU DON''T SAY IT, THEY CAN''T REPEAT IT.'
RETURN
ML314:
SAY 'THINGS GET WORSE UNDER PRESURE.'
RETURN
ML315:
SAY 'PERSONS DISAGREEING WITH YOUR FACTS ARE ALWAYS EMOTIONAL'
SAY 'AND EMPLOY FAULTY REASONING.'
RETURN
ML316:
SAY 'A CONSULTANT IS AN ORDINARY PERSON A LONG WAY FROM HOME.'
RETURN
ML317:
SAY 'PROGRESS IS MADE ON ALTERNATE FRIDAYS.'
RETURN
ML318:
SAY 'THE FIRST 90 PERCENT OF A TASK TAKES 90 PERCENT OF THE TIME,'
SAY 'THE LAST 10 PERCENT TAKES THE OTHER 90 PERCENT.'
RETURN
ML319:
SAY 'IF TWO WRONGS DON''T MAKE A RIGHT, TRY THREE.'
RETURN
ML320:
SAY 'DON''T LOOK BACK, SOMETHING MAY BE GAINING ON YOU.'
RETURN
ML321:
SAY 'ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL, ALL THINGS ARE NEVER EQUAL.'
RETURN
ML322:
SAY 'EVEN PARANOIDS HAVE ENEMIES.'
RETURN
ML323:
SAY 'INCOMPETENCE KNOWS NO BARRIERS OF TIME OR PLACE.'
RETURN
ML324:
SAY 'WORK IS ACCOMPLISHED BY THOSE EMPLOYEES WHO HAVE NOT YET'
SAY 'REACHED THEIR LEVEL OF INCOMPETENCE.'
RETURN
ML325:
SAY 'IF AT FIRST YOU DON''T SUCCEED, TRY SOMETHING ELSE.'
RETURN
ML326:
SAY 'IF YOU''RE COASTING, YOU''RE GOING DOWNHILL.'
RETURN
ML327:
SAY 'NEVER TELL THEM WHAT YOU WOULDN''T DO.'
RETURN
ML328:
SAY 'THE AMOUNT OF FLAK RECEIVED ON ANY SUBJECT IS INVERSIBLY'
SAY 'PROPORTIONAL TO THE SUBJECT''S TRUE VALUE.'
RETURN
ML329:
SAY 'INDIFFERENCE IS THE ONLY SURE DEFENSE.'
RETURN
ML330:
SAY 'WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL NOT BE EVENLY DISTRIBUTED.'
RETURN
ML331:
SAY 'NEVER NEEDLESSLY DISTURB A THING AT REST.'
RETURN
ML332:
SAY 'IF YOU WANT TO GET ALONG, GO ALONG.'
RETURN
ML333:
SAY 'EVERYTHING HAPPENS AT THE SAME TIME WITH NOTHING IN BETWEEN.'
RETURN
ML334:
SAY 'THE EASIEST WAY TO FIND SOMETHING LOST AROUND THE HOUSE'
SAY 'IS TO BUY A REPLACEMENT.'
RETURN
ML335:
SAY 'BARE FEET MAGNETIZE SHARP METAL OBJECTS SO THEY ALWAYS'
SAY 'POINT UPWARD FROM THE FLOOR -- ESPECIALLY IN THE DARK.'
RETURN
ML336:
SAY 'MAKE THREE CORRECT GUESSES CONSECUTIVELY AND YOU WILL'
SAY 'ESTABLISH YOURSELF AS AN EXPERT.'
RETURN
ML337:
SAY 'IT WORKS BETTER IF YOU PLUG IT IN.'
RETURN
ML338:
SAY 'QUIT WHILE YOUR STILL BEHIND.'
RETURN
ML339:
SAY 'IF YOU PLAN TO LEAVE YOUR MARK IN THE SANDS OF TIME,'
SAY 'YOU BETTER WEAR WORK SHOES.'
RETURN
ML340:
SAY 'IT''S ALWAYS EASIER TO GO DOWN HILL, BUT THE VIEW IS FROM THE TOP.'
RETURN
ML341:
SAY 'ANY LINE, HOWEVER SHORT, IS STILL TO LONG.'
RETURN
ML342:
SAY 'LAZINESS IS THE MOTHER OF NINE INVENTIONS OUT OF TEN.'
RETURN
ML343:
SAY 'IF YOU CAN''T MEASURE OUTPUT THEN YOU MEASURE INPUT.'
RETURN
ML344:
SAY 'ANY STORY CAN BE MADE TO FIT FACTS BY MEANS OF APPROPRIATE'
SAY 'ADDITIONAL ASSUMPTIONS.'
RETURN
ML345:
SAY 'OLD SCOTTISH PRAYER: O LORD, GRANT THAT WE MAY ALWAYS BE'
SAY 'RIGHT, FOR THOU KNOWEST WE WILL NEVER CHANGE OUR MINDS.'
RETURN
ML346:
SAY 'NEVER BE FIRST TO DO ANYTHING.'
RETURN
ML347:
SAY 'THE CHIEF CAUSE OF PROBLEMS IS SOLUTIONS.'
RETURN
ML348:
SAY 'THE ONLY WINNER IN THE WAR OF 1812 WAS TCHAIKOVSKY.'
RETURN
ML349:
SAY 'A LITTLE IGNORANCE CAN GO A LONG WAY.'
RETURN
ML350:
SAY 'LEARN TO BE SINCERE. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO FAKE IT.'
RETURN
ML351:
SAY 'ENTROPY HAS US OUTNUMBERED.'
RETURN
ML352:
SAY 'EVERYTHING PUT TOGETHER SOONER OR LATER FALLS APART.'
RETURN
ML353:
SAY 'DO WHATEVER YOUR ENEMIES DON''T WANT YOU TO DO.'
RETURN
ML354:
SAY 'A LITTLE AMBIGUITY NEVER HURT ANYONE.'
RETURN
ML355:
SAY 'DON''T PERMIT YOURSELF TO GET BETWEEN A DOG AND A LAMP POST.'
RETURN
ML356:
SAY 'GO WHERE THE MONEY IS.'
RETURN
ML357:
SAY 'WORK MAY BE THE CRABGRASS OF LIFE, BUT MONEY IS STILL THE'
SAY 'WATER THAT KEEPS IT GREEN.'
RETURN
ML358:
SAY 'A STAGANT SCIENCE IS AT STANDSTILL'
RETURN
ML359:
SAY 'HALF OF BEING SMART IS KNOWING WHAT YOU''RE DUMB AT'
RETURN
ML360:
SAY 'FOR EVERY CREDIBILITY GAP THE IS A GULLIBITY GAP.'
RETURN
ML361:
SAY 'CANT PRODUCES COUNTERCANT.'
RETURN
ML362:
SAY 'IF YOU SEE A MAN APPROACHING YOU WITH THE OBVIOUS INTENT'
SAY 'OF DOING YOU GOOD, YOU SHOULD RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.'
RETURN
ML363:
SAY 'WHEN YOU ARE SURE YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU HAVE A MORAL DUTY'
SAY 'TO IMPOSE YOUR WILL UPON ANYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH YOU.'
RETURN
ML364:
SAY 'IF YOU CAN''T CONVINCE THEM, CONFUSE THEM.'
RETURN
ML365:
SAY 'ASSUMPTION IS THE MOTHER OF ALL FOUL-UPS.'
RETURN
ML366:
SAY 'ALL GENERAL STATEMENTS ARE FALSE. (THINK ABOUT IT)'
RETURN
ML367:
SAY 'IF IT HAPPENS, IT MUST BE POSIBLE.'
RETURN
ML368:
SAY 'THEM WHAT GETS--HAS.'
RETURN
ML369:
SAY 'IF YOU ARE ALREADY IN A HOLE, THERE''S NO USE TO CONTINUE DIGGING'
RETURN
ML370:
SAY 'PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING IF YOU WHISPER IT.'
RETURN
ML371:
SAY 'A PAT ON THE BACK IS ONLY A FEW INCHES FROM A KICK IN THE PANTS.'
RETURN
ML372:
SAY 'NEVER LEAVE HOLD OF WHAT YOU''VE GOT UNTIL YOU''VE GOT HOLD'
SAY 'OF SOMETHING ELSE.'
RETURN
ML373:
SAY 'A THEORY IS BETTER THAN ITS EXPLANATION'
RETURN
ML374:
SAY 'EAT A LIVE TOAD THE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING AND NOTHING'
SAY 'WILL HAPPEN TO YOU THE REST OF THE DAY.'
RETURN
ML375:
SAY 'NOBODY NOTICES WHEN THINGS GO RIGHT.'
RETURN
ML376:
SAY 'THERE IS NO SAFETY IN NUMBERS, OR IN ANYTHING ELSE.'
RETURN
ML377:
SAY 'ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE'
SAY 'I AM SCHIZOPHRENIC AND SO AM I.'
RETURN
ML378:
SAY 'REAL PROGRAMMERS DO NOT PRACTICE FOUR-LETTER WORDS BEFORE'
SAY 'WALKTHROUGHS.'
RETURN