The World of Computer Software/World_Of_Computer_Software-02-387-Vol-3of3.iso/h/hpj01.zip/HPJ04.DOC

Text File | 1993-02-23 | 12KB | 233 lines

         GOING WHERE THIS MAN HAS NEVER GONE BEFORE

                   (A VISIT TO A NUDE BAR)

                      by Frank Selcome



It was a place I had never been before.  And now, here I was, in a
bar filled with beautiful woman.  I had been curious about this
place, but never really interested enough to stop in until now.  So
here I was, I had just returned from a business trip, my wife was
out of town, so I had stopped in at The King's Palace, a local bar
featuring nude dancers.

The thought of going into the King's Palace had never crossed my
mind until I was called for jury duty in municipal court.  As each
potential juror was called, the defense attorney would ask them how
they felt about nude dancing and The King's Palace.  The case being
tried involved a young man who had damaged the car of another man
in the parking lot of The King's Palace.  The defense attorney was
very concerned about jurors who might feel prejudiced against
someone who had spent some time in a nude bar.

I couldn't understand why anyone would consider someone a "bad"
person just because they went to a nude bar.  Apparently the other
prospective jurors felt the same way.  I'd guess 12 or 13
people were interviewed and not one had a problem with The King's
Palace or people who went there.

The defense attorney made such a big deal about it that I began to
wonder what went on inside The King's Palace that could have this
attorney so worried.  Was it a front for prostitution or drug
deals?  Were women of loose morals corrupting the men of the
community?  Was it a gang hangout?  And, if it was such a terrible
place, why was no one else in town upset about it?

It turned out I ended up on the jury and had a chance to hear the
whole case.  The reason the defense attorney was making such a big
deal about The King's Palace, was that it was apparently the only
thing he could come up with to try and defend his client.  The guy
was so obviously guilty that the attorney was grasping at whatever
he could to do to try to make the plaintiff look bad.  It didn't
work -- we found him guilty.

However, at the end of the day I was curious about The King's
Palace.  What was it like?  I had been in a topless bar once
-- over twenty years ago when a friend from work invited me to join
him for an evening out with the boys.  I couldn't remember much
about it, so it must not have made much of an impression.

And I had seen the Oprah and Donahue shows when they had exotic
dancers on.  The women in the audience were screaming in anger at
the dancers and men who went to see them.  They called the dancers
sluts and husband stealers, and told the men they needed to stay
home and pay attention to their wives.  I had also seen the Oprah
and Donahue shows when they had male exotic dancers and the woman
in the audience were cheering and screaming for them to "take it
off" and expressing a desire to date the guys on the stage.  I
found this very confusing.  What was so bad about women exotic
dancers but not male exotic dancers?

So here I was.  I had just spent a week on a business trip to the
east coast.  After a four-hour flight and an hour drive from the
airport, I was finally almost home.  As I drove past The King's
Palace I once again wondered what it was like inside.  There was no
one waiting for me at home; nothing I needed to do; why not stop in
and see what it was like?  All sorts of thoughts flashed through my
head such as: this isn't the type of place a decent person goes to.

I really shouldn't go in there.

But I was surprised at how few negative thoughts I had about The
King's Palace.  I expected to have an overwhelming dread of the
evil I might encounter, but I felt more curious than anything else.

At the last moment I turned the wheel, made the right turn into The
King's Palace's parking lot, and found a parking spot.  I was
there.

Not knowing what to expect, I hide my wallet under the seat of my
car.  Taking just my driver's license (for ID purposes) and $30.00
in cash.  If this place was filled with criminal types, I didn't
want to be the victim of a pick-pocket.  I paused for a moment,
rethought my decision, took a deep breath and walked to the
front door.

The music was loud and rockin' and the lights were low.  I couldn't
see much because there was an long entry way that was lower than
the main floor.  A low wall separated the entry way from the main
room.  Looking over the wall I could
just see a young woman, wearing the
bottom half of a bikini, dancing on a
stage.  I had a brief urge to stop
and take a long look, but my "ethical"
upbringing told me that it was wrong
to stare at a partially naked woman.
So I put my eyes straight ahead,
walked up to the football player
sized person who was collecting the
$5.00 cover charge, paid him, and then
continued straight ahead to the men's
room - without another look back into the main room.

I was surprised!  I expected a dirty, grungy,  graffiti covered
rest room.  But, it was clean,  brightly lit and well maintained.
In fact, this was one of the better public rest rooms I had been
in.  I was impressed.

I really did need to use the rest room.  I wasn't just trying to
"hide", although I did feel like I needed to catch my breath before
going any further.  After a long airplane ride and another long
drive from the airport, there was no question of whether I could
pass the rest room by.  I had to be my first stop.  But, I took my
time, got my travel rumpled clothes straightened out, washed my
face, calmed myself down and pulled myself together before fully
entering the "den of evil."  I was ready.  I opened the door to
leave the rest room and saw, walking by just a couple of feet away,
two beautiful women wearing bikinis.

I didn't, at first, realize that these were two of the performers
who had just left the lady's room.  My first reaction was that they
were waitresses.  My reaction was, "WOW!  What a great place this
is, if they have waitresses like this."

Ok, I still had not fully realized where I was and my brain had not
accepted what The King's Palace was all about.  Although I am 44
years old, I felt like a little kid--very naive and who did not yet
really understand where he was or what was going on.  However, by
the time the night was over, 5-1/2 hours later, I would be fully
educated in nude bar procedures and etiquette.

As I walked into the main room I noticed there were two rooms and
two stages.  On the large central stage in the main room a topless
dancer was performing.  The rear of the main room opened into a
second, sunken room which had a smaller stage against its rear
wall.  This stage also had a topless dancer.

Both rooms were nearly full, but I found an empty table in a dark
corner of the large room.  From this vantage point I was able to
see everything that was happening in both rooms.  The place was
nearly full.  Although most tables had several chairs each only had
one or two men.  About two dozen women, some wearing bikinis and
some wearing underwear, were circulating around the room.  It was
then that I realized that the two women coming from the rest room
were dancers.  The waitresses were fully clothed in normal "street"
clothes.

Each time a new song started a different woman left the floor and
went up on the stage to dance and remover her top.  As I looked
around a noticed a guy sitting at a table a few yards away from me.

Most of the time he was at the table by himself and was watching
the dancer on the stage.  But, he was never alone for long.  It
seemed like every other song one of the dancers would sit down at
his table and talk with him awhile.  What a lucky guy!  He must
know one of the dancers.  They both looked very happy together.

Then something started happening to me that I didn't understand at
first.  Various women kept stopping by and asking me if I'd like to
dance.  This is great, I thought.  But as I looked around I didn't
see any other couples dancing.  It must still be early, it was only
9pm, and the dancing had not really started.

Yes, I am a little slow at times.  But, over the next 30 to 40
minutes I figured out what was going on - and I was glad that I
hadn't gotten up to dance with one of the performers.  For $5.00 a
song you could have one of the performers dance topless at your
table or join you for a drink (soda) and conversation.  The guy at
the other table didn't have a girl friend who worked here, he was
paying her $5.00 a song to talk with him!

I was beginning to catch on to what was going on.  Now, in spite of
the loud music, I more clearly heard what the dancers were asking.
They were not asking me if I wanted to dance, they were asking,
"Would you like a dance?" -- Meaning would I like to buy a dance
and have then dance at my table.

I continued to say, "no."  I wasn't sure that I wanted a half naked
woman dancing just a few feet in front of me.  Until one dancer
came by who spent a little time talking with me.  She made small
talk and then asked if I'd like to buy a dance.  As usual I said
no.  But this was no ordinary dancer, this lady was a salesperson.
She promised me that I'd really enjoy her dance and finally even
offered a money back guarantee.  That was it--the money back
guarantee sold me.  And she was right, I did enjoy her dance.

After the long business trip I didn't have much cash.  But by
limiting myself to buying no more than two dances per hour I was
able to stretch my funds till 2:30 in the morning.  I had a great
time!  I moved to another table that put me between the two stages
so I could have a better view of what was happening on either.  And
between the performers on stage, the dancers other customers
purchased, and the ones I purchased; it turned out to be an
excellent evening.

What was so enjoyable about the evening?  Before I answer that I'd
like you to write what you think the answer is on a piece of paper.

Most people, and my guess is that most women in particular, would
say that what was so enjoyable was, "Looking at beautiful, naked
women."  That may be what brings most men into The King's Palace,
but that's not why they keep coming back, and that's not why I
enjoyed the evening.  Give me a moment, and I'll explain.

At the end of the evening I had the opportunity to speak with one
of the dancers.  Most of the money she made came from regulars who
came back every week, week after week.  I asked her why she felt
they did this, and she told me they were lonely.  They came back
because they liked having a woman pay attention to them; liked
spending time with a woman who was interested in what they were
saying; a woman who liked them and wanted to spend time with them;
they liked spending time with some who made them think they were
special.

It doesn't matter that it's all fake - paid for with $5 bills.
When I ran out of money at about 1:30, it only took telling a few
of the dancers that I was broke and they all stopped coming by my
table.  It was obvious to me that I was purchasing their attention,
but it didn't matter.  It still made me feel good and that good
feeling lasted through the weekend and half way through the next
week.

So did I find anything evil in The King's Palace?  No.  Anything
immoral?  No.  Was it a bar full of men yelling for women to "Take
It Off!"  No.  Did I need to leave my wallet in the car?
Definitely not!  There was no yelling.  No lewd remarks.  Only
loud music and a smattering of applause when each dancer finished
her on-stage performance.  What I found were lonely men and women
making a living by making them feel better.