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  1. \* SPEW implementation of MAD rock concert article generator
  2. \* Based on: "C Implementation of MAD magazine's
  3. \*    ALL-INCLUSIVE DO-IT-YOURSELF ROCK CONCERT Newspaper Story
  4. \*    by satyr@ucscb.ucsc.edu 1987
  5. \* SPEW implementation by wiml@u.washington.edu 1990
  6. %HOWMANY
  7. Thousands of
  8. Millions of
  9. Hundreds of
  10. Several
  11. Uncounted millions of
  12. Fourteen
  13. A huge number of
  14. Billions of
  15. Seven and a half
  16. Many
  17. Quite a few
  18. More than one
  19. %WHATSTATE
  20. screaming
  21. ripped-off
  22. born-again
  23. Bloom County
  24. suicidal
  25. toxic
  26. whacked-out
  27. slightly used
  28. pregnant
  29. molting
  30. frigid
  31. calcium deficient
  32. %WHO
  33. rock fans
  34. teenagers
  35. marmot-breeders
  36. Sandanistas
  37. Bob Uecker look-alikes
  38. boat people
  39. amnesiacs
  40. Trivial Pursuit players
  41. owl worshippers
  42. bed-wetters
  43. DeLorean dealers
  44. soothsayers
  45. %WHERE
  46. the City Auditorium
  47. the Kingdome
  48. Bernie's Car Wash
  49. St. Patrick's Cathedral
  50. the Oval Office
  51. Buddy Hackett's hot tub
  52. the Australian outback
  53. a new Honda Civic
  54. Ted and Rita's family room
  55. the K-Mart linens section
  56. Lake Huron
  57. the Exit 17 offramp
  58. %WHOTOSEE
  59. the Jacksons
  60. Van Halen
  61. Boy George
  62. the Little Rascals
  63. Kate and Allie
  64. Botswana wife-swappers
  65. the Dallas Mavericks
  66. Mr. T's caterer
  67. the Miss Bulgaria finalists
  68. the last Civil War veteran
  69. Casper Weinberger
  70. a KGB double agent
  71. %DIDSOMETHING
  72. stood in line
  73. counted their toes
  74. shouted pygmy oaths
  75. chanted "DEE-fense!"
  76. aged prematurely
  77. licked Snickers wrappers
  78. donned wet suits
  79. polished their nose-rings
  80. wept openly
  81. broke wind
  82. swapped zip-codes
  83. fondled their ear-lobes
  84. %DOSOMETHING
  85. pay $30
  86. sell their sisters
  87. grovel shamelessly
  88. lose their virginity
  89. renounce Satan
  90. give up breathing
  91. sacrifice a beagle
  92. betray their scoutmaster
  93. sell their vital organs
  94. give up their citizenship
  95. pawn their phony Omegas
  96. change their sex
  97. %SOME
  98. a few outbreaks of
  99. the usual
  100. some harmless
  101. post-Olympic
  102. sloppy attempts at
  103. authentic Haitian
  104. precision drill
  105. the romantic lure of
  106. the Bush Cabinet's
  107. some very creative
  108. the lethal effects of
  109. the distinctive odor of
  110. %DISTRACTION
  111. rioting
  112. terrorism
  113. drunkenness
  114. car-stripping
  115. pillaging
  116. nude break-dancing
  117. possum worship
  118. Karl Malden impersonations
  119. silicone rejection
  120. out-of-body retching
  121. estate planning
  122. parakeet training
  123. %ANNOYANCE
  124. arrest
  125. flogging
  126. hearing loss
  127. death screams
  128. melt-down
  129. spraying
  130. flossing
  131. glassy-eyed stares
  132. pre-soaking
  133. poor penalty-killing
  134. factory recall
  135. painless removal
  136. %ANNOYADJ
  137. unruly
  138. off-duty
  139. stoned
  140. pre-Columbian
  141. singles-bar
  142. fur-bearing
  143. Lucasfilm
  144. Libyan-backed
  145. reincarnated
  146. set-user-id
  147. moss-covered
  148. cutesy-pie
  149. splattered
  150. %ANNOYOBJ
  151. punks
  152. drug dealers
  153. Sagittarians
  154. nerds
  155. welfare cheats
  156. Unitarians
  157. surfers
  158. mercenaries
  159. Cornhuskers
  160. skycaps
  161. Munchkins
  162. centerfolds
  163. %FUN
  164. an unqualified success
  165. a victory for good taste
  166. more fun than Pearl Harbor
  167. a vindication of greed
  168. proof of God's love
  169. an incredible waste of time
  170. as significant as Flag Day
  171. a triumph of Jerry Falwell
  172. a glorification of self-abuse
  173. as memorable as 'Lottery'
  174. a festival for degenerates
  175. an answer for Communism
  176. %MAIN
  177. \* We have to break this line up or SPEW will chop it
  178. \HEADER\! \PART1 \PART2 \PART3 \!\!
  179. %HEADER
  180.                                 MAD MAGAZINE\!                                \
  181. ------------\!                           ROCK CONCERT LAST NIGHT\!
  182. %PART1
  183.   \HOWMANY \WHATSTATE \WHO packed \WHERE last night to see \WHOTOSEE in concert.
  184. %PART2
  185.  Many fans \DIDSOMETHING for more than ten hours while waiting to \DOSOMETHING for a ticket.
  186. %PART3
  187.  Despite \SOME \DISTRACTION and the occasional \ANNOYANCE of \ANNOYADJ \ANNOYOBJ, the promoters of the event called it \FUN.
  188. %%
  189.