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QUOTES
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1991-08-29
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ALMANAC 1992, by Jeff Napier & Another Company
QUOTES
These are the quotes found this year that particularly
interested me. The rest I threw away. - Jeff
_____________________________________________________________
"Feminine Beauty. Female pulchritude, being qualitative
rather than quantitative, does not lend itself to records. it
has been suggested that if the face of Helen of Troy (c.1200
BC) was capable of launching 1,000 ships, then a unit of
beauty sufficient to launch one ship should be called a
millihellen." - from the Guiness Book of World Records, 1988
_____________________________________________________________
"To punish me for my contempt for authority, Fate made me an
authority myself." - Albert Einstein
_____________________________________________________________
Famous last words: The last thing Albert Einstein said was in
German, but the only person in the room, a nurse, didn't
speak German, so she couldn't recall for the world what he
said.
_____________________________________________________________
"It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that
people might remember." - Eugene McCarthy
_____________________________________________________________
"The believer is happy - the doubter is wise." - unknown
_____________________________________________________________
"I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: Cut it." - Alfred
Hitchcock.
_____________________________________________________________
I don't know a lot about poetry, but the following line
written by Julia A. Moore gets my vote for worst published
poem I have ever read:
While eating dinner,
This dear little child
Choked on a piece of beef.
_____________________________________________________________
Do you know the meaning of the word spoonerism? According to
Funk & Wagnalls Standard Desk Dictionary it means: "The
unintentional transposition of sounds or of parts of words in
speaking, as in 'half-warmed fish' for 'half-formed wish.'"
This word was named after Reverend William A. Spooner
(1884-1930) who was the dean of New College, in Oxford. He
evidently had a sort of speaking dislexia and became famous
for many entertaining tangled sentences. For example, he told
a groom at a wedding, "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride."
Another time, he referred to Queen Victoria as "the queer old
dean."
_____________________________________________________________
"Years ago my mother used to say to me, 'In this world you
must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' For years I was
smart. I recommend pleasant." - James Stewart in Harvey
_____________________________________________________________
James Stewart wore the same hat in many different movies as a
good luck charm. If you look closely, in his younger days,
he wore a very sharp hat, but in later movies, the hat is
more and more worn out.
_____________________________________________________________
All the information in this database is reliably
calculated from or based on what others have written.
However, you may wish to conduct your own research to make
absolutely sure of the facts.
_____________________________________________________________
Epitaph: "Here lies an atheist - all dressed up and no place
to go."
_____________________________________________________________
When Lavinia Warren, who was less than 3 feet tall and
weighed less than 30 pounds, along with her husband General
Tom Thumb, who was only slightly larger, visited Abe Lincoln,
who always considered himself too tall, President
Lincoln proclaimed, "God likes to do funny things - here you
have the long and the short of it."
_____________________________________________________________
"Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise."
- Dr. Scholl of Dr. Scholl's Foot Aids
_____________________________________________________________
One of the most helpful people mankind has ever seen was
Emile Coue (1857-1926) of France. He told people to say to
themselves 20 times in a row, twice a day: "Every day, in
every way, I am getting better and better." This actually
cured thousands of people of an assortment of minor and major
ills.
In French if you prefer, "Tous les jours, a tous points
de vue, je vais de mieux en mieux."
Try it, it can't hurt you (unless somebody overhears, but
then you can do it silently), and it might just work to get
you over the flu, a toothache, cancer, whatever is bothering
you.
This is a serious suggestion. Scientists have proven
beyond doubt that people can improve their health with a
positive mental attitude. In many hospitals, cancer patients
are now being taught to mentally picture (or actually draw
pictures of) their cells surrounding and eating tumors.
_____________________________________________________________
"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut
afterwards." - Ben Franklin
_____________________________________________________________
"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot
stomping on a human face - forever." - George Orwell
_____________________________________________________________
"Knowledge isn't power until it's applied." - Dale Carnegie
_____________________________________________________________
When asked about the possibility of an alien race taking over
our world by force, Isaac Asimov answered:
"The nearest intelligence to us is likely to be as much
as 50 light-years away, and that is not an easy distance to
cross. If a people could cross it, they would be extremely
advanced, and I think that a race far in advance of ourselves
would probably also have advanced in humanity and would be
unlikely to act like barbarians."
"...there are only two ways in which [population] growth can
stop. Either the death rate goes up to match the birth
rate, or the birth rate comes down to match the death rate."
- Isaac Asimov
_____________________________________________________________
"Man is born to live and not to prepare to live."
- Boris Pasternak, from the book, "Doctor Zhivago"
_____________________________________________________________
"I'm seventy percent accurate forty percent of the time."
- Weatherman Willard Scott.
_____________________________________________________________
Undoubtedly, Henry Kissinger is more familiar with foreign
policy and foreign geography than American geography. When
invited to do the weather report one day on the "CBS This
Morning" tv show, he presented a reasonable report, but had
some difficulties pointing to the unmarked cities he was
mentioning on a USA map. After awhile, he told the tv
audience, "I'm not pointing anymore, you figure it out."
_____________________________________________________________
You'll never guess who said this:
"I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in
favor of bringing about in any way the social and political
equality of the white and black races - that I am not nor
ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of
Negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to
intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to
this that there is a physical difference between the white
and black races which I believe will forever forbid the 2
races living together on terms of social or political
equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do
remain together there must be the position of superior and
inferior, and I as much as any other man am in favor of
having the superior position assigned to the white race. I
say upon this occasion that I do not perceive that because
the white man is to have the superior position that the
Negro should be denied everything."
Here's a clue, he also said this:
"My policy is to have no policy."
Give up? It was President Abraham Lincoln!
_____________________________________________________________
"I fired MacArthur because he wouldn't respect the authority
of the President. I didn't fire him because he was a dumb
son of a bitch, although he was, but that's not against the
law for generals. If it was, half to three-quarters of them
would be in jail." - Harry S Truman
_____________________________________________________________
"The best test of a man is not how well he does the things he
likes, but how well he does the things he doesn't like."
_____________________________________________________________
Mozart composed a very popular opera called "All Women Behave
Thus."
_____________________________________________________________
A Conan Doyle never wrote, "Elementary, my dear Watson!"
James Cagney never said, "You dirty rat."
Humphrey Bogart never said, "Play it again, Sam."
_____________________________________________________________
"The frustrating reality, as far as medical researchers are
concerned, is that we already know that the living body is
the best pharmacy ever devised. It produces diuretics,
painkillers, tranquilizers, sleeping pills, antibiotics, and
indeed everything manufactured by the drug companies, but it
makes them much, much better. The dosage is always right and
given on time; side effects are minimal or nonexistent; and
the directions for using the drug are included in the drug
itself, as part of its built-in intelligence." - Dr. Deepak
Chopra
_____________________________________________________________
"It is not easy to see how the more extreme forms of
nationalism can long survive when men have seen the Earth in
its true perspective as a single small globe against the
stars." - Arthur C Clarke
_____________________________________________________________
"The reason that the all-American boy prefers beauty to
brains is that he can see better than he can think." - Farrah
Fawcett-Majors
_____________________________________________________________
"A great artist is one who doesn't have to explain his work."
- Jeff
_____________________________________________________________
"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost
_____________________________________________________________
chapter end.