PC Underground/UNDERGROUND.ISO/sound/gusmod/phun.txt

Text File | 1995-07-28 | 14.0 KB | 306 lines

A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
A mind is a terrible thing to ... er ... hmmmm?
A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice.
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
A single fact can spoil a good argument.
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
A yer ago I kudnt spel progremr now I are won.
Air Geordis - TNG footwear
Alex, I'll take "Things Only I Know" for $1000.
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All in a day's work for..."Confuse-a-Cat"!
All programers are optimists.
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills.
Are we having Fahrvergnügen yet??
Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
ASCII and ye shall receive.
ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI!
But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!!
Buy a supscription to Playboy and send it to your boss' wife
Buy American!
C:\DOS   C:\DOS\RUN   RUN DOS RUN
Can you see the REAL ME, can ya?!?!  CAN YA??!?!!?!?!?!?!
Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly!
Cars suck.
CAUTION:  RIDER MAY BAIL AT ANY TIME
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events.
Clones are people two.
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!
Cogito ergo spud I think therefore I yam.
Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far!
Committees keep minutes and lose hours.
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Confused?  Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute
CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress
Constant change is here to stay.
Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping.
Copywight (c) 1993 Elmer Fudd.  All wights wesewved.
Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)?
Courage atrophies from lack of use.
Cyclists pump it up and crank it out.
Daddy, what does "Formatting Drive C:" mean?
Damn this hobby is expensive!
Dance naked in front of your pets.
Death benefits = oxymoron.
Death is just God's way of dropping carrier.
Death on two legs...you're tearin' me apart !!!!
Definition of Terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
Dessert? I'll take a piece of cherry.
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAGLINE (UNDER PENALTY OF LAW)!
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you!
DOC files?  We don't need NO STINKIN' DOC FILES!
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines.
Don't be afraid to drive a nail in the wood!
Don't drink and park...accidents cause people.
Don't steal.  The government hates competition.
Don't take life too seriously...it's not permanent.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename, Dude!"
Drive A: format failure, formatting C: instead...
Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream
Dumb luck beats sound planning every time.  Trust me.
Dyslexics are persona au gratin.
Dyslexics have more fnu.
Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE!
Eagles may soar but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!
Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ...
Efficiency takes time!  Frugality: who can afford it?
Energizer Bunny arrested.  Charged with battery.
Ensign Pillsbury:  He's bread Jim!
Error reading REALITY.SYS - Universe Halted
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Everyone has photographic memory...some don't have film!
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Facts Just Get In The Way And Impede Progress.
Fahrvergnükie: (n) Sex in a Volkswagen.
Faster than a speeding ticket!
FATAL SYSTEM ERROR:  Press F13 to continue...
FIGHT BACK!  Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
Floggings will continue until morale improves.
For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country.
For discussion only. Not to be relied upon.
Forget the diet center; send yourself a candygram.
General stupidity error reading drive C:
Get your filthy hands off my dessert!
Go shopping. Buy Stuff. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
Gravity:  Not just a good idea...it's the LAW.
Gun control is being able to hit your target!
Handwritten on a condom machine; "This gum tastes funny"
Have it OUR way.  Yours is IRRELEVANT.  At BORGerKing.
He who asks timidly makes denial easy.
He who laughs, lasts.
He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged.
Hello, I am part number │║▐║│║│█│║▌│║▌││.
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
Help!  I'm parked diagonally in a parallel universe.
Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see?
Hi. I'll be your tagline for this evening.
High message: 9434567.  Message last read: 9.
Honey, PLEASE don't pick up the PH$@#*&$^(#@&$^%(*NO CARRIER
How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star?
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
I always lie.  In fact, I'm lying to you right now!
I am Clinton of Borg.  Your income will be assimilated.
I am Homer of Borg!  Prepare to be...OOooooo!  Donuts!!!
I am. Therefore, I think.  I think.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars.
I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone!
I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not so sure.
I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem.
I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off....
I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.....
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac!
I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing.
I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged.
I'm not lost!  I'm "locationally challenged."
I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
I'm not schizophrenic.  It's this guy beside me!
I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!
If a tree falls on a florist, would he make a sound?
If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0!
If I were you, who'd be me?
If I'm gonna eat somebody, it might as well be you.
If it's not broke, let me take a crack at it.
If Q were castrated, would he become O?
If speed scares you, try Windows...
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
If winning isn't important then why keep score?
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines!
Ignorance is temporary; stupidity is forever.
Illiterate?  Write for FREE HELP!
Innuendo: An Italian suppository.
Insanity is just a state of mind.
Is this yours?  Your dog left it on my lawn...
It depends on which end he tries to light...
It doesn't work, but it looks pretty.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
It is fatal to live too long.
It said "insert disk #3" - but onty two will fit...
It's a tough job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
It's as easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950...
It's déjà vu all over again.
It's Ensign Flintstone - he's Fred, Jim.
It's not GEEK - it's SOCIALLY CHALLENGED, dammit!
It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!
Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters!
Jesus saves...Passes to Moses..Shoots....Scores!
Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
Jumbo shrimp = oxymoron.
Junk: stuff we throw away.  Stuff: junk we keep.
Keyboard Not Found - Press [F1] to Continue
Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging!
Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it.
Life - brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.
Locked coathanger in car. Good thing I had a key.
LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer
Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII.
Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.
Make Headlines..use a corduroy pillow....
Make up a language and ask people for directions.
Meditation is not what you Think.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open.
Multitasking causes schizophrenia..
My computer can beat your computer.
My other computer is a HAL 9000.
My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ...
Name:│║▐║│║│█│║▌│║▌││ Rank:▐║│║█│║▌│ Serial No:│║▐║│║│█│
NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself
No one EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition!!!
No wanna work.  Wanna bang on keyboard.
NO!  Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican Phone Company!
No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in Outer Space.
Not a computer nerd; merely a techno-weenie.
Now that I've given up hope I feel much better...
Obe Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: "Use the FORKS, Luke!"
Of all the things I've lost...I miss my mind the most.
Of course I'm running Windows█δ╓°┬ NO CARRIER
Ok, I pulled the pin.  Now what?  Where are you going?
One is never as happy or unhappy as one imagines.
One tactical thermonuclear weapon can ruin your whole day.
Open mouth. Insert foot. Echo internationally!
Optical mice have no balls!
Our necessities are few but our wants are endless...
Pay your electric bill in pennies.
Plasma is another matter.
Power corrupts.  Absolute power is kind of neat.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Prune Juice. A warriors drink!
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Rap music = oxymoron
Read the dictionary backwards and look for secret messages.
Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek.
Reduce brain fat.  Eat Moral Fiber.
Reduce Carbon Dioxide emmissions - STOP Breathing
Remember, Subaru spelled backwards is U-R-A-BUS.
Romulan warbird decloaking sir... √ô[▓┘ßΩ NO CARRIER
S met ing's hap ening t  my k ybo rd . .
Schizophrenic?  I'm a bleedin' Quadrophenic! - The Who, 1972
Scotty, HURRY!  Beam me uÜd∩{┼╒èR÷ ÆWѵ#c(&NO CARRIER
Sector Not Found (A)bort, (R)etry, (C)offee?
Send more tourists..... the last ones were delicious!
Set laser printers to "stun".
Shareware: forget the manual...phone the author at home!
Shell to DOS...come in, DOS...do you read...over?
Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime errors!
Shoplifters with the runs take Clepto Bismol
Show me a sane man.  I'll cure him for you.
Silly wabbit, .QWKs are for kids.
Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to.
Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under...
Sorry, I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!
Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
Southern DOS:  Y'all reckon? (yep/Nope)
Spaceman Spiff, Interplanetary Explorer!
SYSTEM ERROR:  press F13 to continue...
Tagline Lotto: ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓<- Scratch here for prize.
The Borg assimilated me & all I got was this stupid T-Shirt!
The eyes are the mirror of the soul.
The future isn't what it used to be.
The irony of life is that no one gets out alive...
The lab called: your brain is ready.
The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on...
The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation.
The option to override self-destruct expir@^%i@&$#NO CARRIER
The road to success is under construction...
The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter...
The worst thing about censorship is ██████████.
This is a Tagline mirror><rorrim enilgaT a si sihT
Those who can, do.  Those who can't, supervise!
Time flies like the wind--fruit flies like bananas!
To shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
Tribble math: * + * = ******************************
Truck Pulls: for people who cannot understand the WWF
Truth is just another misconception.
Two most common elements: hydrogen, stupidity.
Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes.
Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa bill.
Vuja De - The Feeling You've Never Been Here
VîτÜε¿!¿  Wε dÖÑ't gÖt ÑÖ tîÑkîÑg vîτÜε!!!
We secretly replaced the dilithium with Folger's Crystals...
We're lost, but we're making good time.
What happens if I ... #%(!%#%#@@%$#*^@(@#$!#*$NO CARRIER
What happens if you .ARC de Triomphe?
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
When I want your opinion I'll give it to you!
When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you!
When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns.
Who is Art, and why does life imitate him?
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy!
Why can't women put the toilet seat back up?
Why did Kamakazie pilots wear helmets???
Why is "easy listening" so hard to listen to?
Winning isn't everything - but losing SUCKS!
Wε [0Mε ¡∩ ΣÅÇε.  GìVε ûƒ ¥ÖÜΓ ÅmM0∩îÄ º⌐ Dïε.
Yes, I know I'm off-topic.  Thank you for your concern.
You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.
You may be recognized soon.  Perhaps you should hide?
Your statement fully describes the situation partially.
»∞√╘╘h╖ñ ÄC≥hanks for hanging up, dear.
τh¡$ ís ¥ΘüΓ ταG£¡ⁿε σⁿ δΓûgƒ
τÖÖ  ┌┬┐ûÇ├┐  $εx  Å⌠⌠ε¢τ$  ¥ÖÜr  εÿε$íg├┐τ....
Clap on! (clap, clap) Clap off! (clap@#&$NO CARRIER
186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!
I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person!
You've got to be trusted by the people that you lie to.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it.
Assumption is the mother of all screwups...
Aural Sex produces eargasms.
Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
Barium:  what you do with dead chemists.
Be nice to your enemies, it drives them nuts.
Beam me aboard Scotty.  Aye, will a 2x4 do, Captain?
Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!)
Better ... stronger ... faster!
Beware of Geeks bearing gifs.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Black holes really suck...
Black Holes were created when God divided by zero!
Bo Knows Taglines!
Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3
Borg?  Where?  I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER
Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
Break up a relationship - buy a computer!!
BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.
But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car!