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Text Truncated. Only the first 1MB is shown below. Download the file for the complete contents. Concise Columbia Dictionary of Quotations Absence See: Grief: Shakespeare Absence, hear thou my protestation Against thy strength, Distance and length. John Hoskins (1566-1638) English poet Absence Absence diminishes minor passions and inflames great ones, as the wind douses a candle and fans a fire. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Absence Judicious absence is a weapon. Charles Reade (1814-1884) English novelist Absence Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends. Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973) Anglo-Irish novelist Absence Presents, I often say, endear absents. Charles Lamb (1775-1834) English essayist, critic Absence I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. Brendan Behan (1923-1964) Irish playwright Absence Absurdity See: Imitation: Johnson It is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous. Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) Emperor of France of his retreat from Moscow Absurdity Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny. Father Ronald Knox (1888-1957) British clergyman, writer Absurdity It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down . . . Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the fall of man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Absurdity There are few moments in a man's existence when he experiences so much ludicrous distress, or meets with so little charitable commiseration, as when he is in pursuit of his own hat. Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English novelist Absurdity Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Absurdity Abuse See: Controversy: Johnson Insults Praise: Steele Swearing: Cohen It seldom pays to be rude. It never pays to be only half-rude. Norman Douglas (1868-1952) British author Abuse Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful, and multiply." But not in those words. Woody Allen (b. 1935) American filmmaker Abuse A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing to another man than he has to knock him down. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Abuse There is more credit in being abused by fools than praised by rogues. F. E. Smith, Lord Birkenhead (1872-1930) British Conservative politician, lawyer Abuse Abuse is as great a mistake in controversy as panegyric in biography. Cardinal John Newman (1801-1890) English churchman, theologian Abuse I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort Courteous; the second, the Quip Modest; the third, the Reply Churlish; the fourth, the Reproof Valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck Quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with Circumstance; the seventh, the Lie Direct. Touchstone, As You Like It William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Abuse A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Abuse Accusation Accuse. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Accusation Acquaintance I look upon every day to be lost, in which I do not make a new acquaintance. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Acquaintance Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Acquaintance Acting See: Busts: Davis Drink: Burton Acting is a question of absorbing other people's personalities and adding some of your own experience. Paul Newman (b. 1925) American film actor Acting Acting is the expression of a neurotic impulse. It's a bum's life. Quitting acting, that's the sign of maturity. Marlon Brando (b. 1924) American film actor Acting You spend all your life trying to do something they put people in asylums for. Jane Fonda (b. 1937) American film actress Acting Left eyebrow raised, right eyebrow raised. Roger Moore (b. 1928) British film and television actor on his acting range Acting Action See: Caution: Savile Eloquence: Lloyd George Hope: Levi It is vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. George Eliot (1819-1880) English novelist Action The shortest answer is doing. Lord Herbert (1583-1648) English philosopher, diplomat Action Our actions are neither so good nor so evil as our impulses. Luc, Marquis de Vauvenargues (1715-1747) French moralist Action I prefer thought to action, an idea to an event, reflection to activity. Honore de Balzac (1799-1850) French writer Action Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Action If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well It were done quickly. Macbeth, Macbeth William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Action If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Action An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. Friedrich Engels (1820-1895) German social philosopher, revolutionary Action Patience has its limits. Take it too far and it's cowardice. George Jackson (1942-1971) American radical Action What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Action Talk that does not end in any kind of action is better suppressed altogether. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish writer Action I want to see you shoot the way you shout. Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) American president Action Men of action intervene only when the orators have finished. Emile Gaboriau (1835-1873) French author Action Actors/Actresses See: Hollywood: Quinn Interviews: Hudson Marilyn Monroe Self-doubt: Field Theater: Duse A walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. Macbeth, Macbeth William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Actors/Actresses Have patience with the jealousies and petulance of actors, for their hour is their eternity. Richard Garnett (1835-1906) English author, bibliographer Actors/Actresses You can pick out actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves. Michael Wilding (1912-1979) British actor Actors/Actresses And here come tired youths and maids That feign to love or sin In tones like rusty razor blades To tunes like smitten tin. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author Actors/Actresses A character actor is one who cannot act and therefore makes an elaborate study of disguise and stage tricks by which acting can be grotesquely simulated. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Actors/Actresses To see him act is like reading Shakespeare by flashes of lightning. Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834) English poet of Edmund Kean Actors/Actresses Every actor in his heart believes everything bad that's printed about him. Orson Welles (1915-1985) American filmmaker Actors/Actresses The only reason they come to see me is that I know that life is great - and they know I know it. Clark Gable (1901-1960) American film actor Actors/Actresses His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open. Howard Hughes (1905-1976) American businessman, film producer of Clark Gable Actors/Actresses He has turned almost alarmingly blond - he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth. Pauline Kael (b. 1919) American film critic of Robert Redford Actors/Actresses An actor is something less than a man, while an actress is something more than a woman. Richard Burton (1925-1984) British film actor Actors/Actresses She has a face that belongs to the sea and the wind, with large rocking-horse nostrils and teeth that you just know bite an apple every day. Cecil Beaton (1904-1980) British photographer of Katherine Hepburn Actors/Actresses Actresses will happen in the best-regulated families. Oliver Herford (1863-1935) American poet, illustrator Actors/Actresses For an actress to be a success she must have the face of Venus, the brains of Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros. Ethel Barrymore (1879-1959) American actress Actors/Actresses A deer in the body of a woman, living resentfully in the Hollywood zoo. Clare Boothe Luce (1903-1987) American diplomat, writer of Greta Garbo Actors/Actresses An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. Francois Truffaut (1932-1984) French film director Actors/Actresses So much of our profession is taken up with pretending, that an actor must spend at least half his waking hours in a fantasy. Ronald Reagan (b. 1911) American president Actors/Actresses Addicts See: Drugs: Bankhead; Neville Go mad, and beat their wives; Plunge (after shocking lives) Razors and carving knives Into their gizzards. C. S. Calverley (1831-1884) English poet Addicts All sins tend to be addictive, and the terminal point of addiction is what is called damnation. W. H. Auden (1907-1973) Anglo-American poet Addicts Admiration Admiration. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Admiration Admiration is a very short-lived passion that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object, unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a new perpetual succession of miracles rising up to its view. Joseph Addison (1672-1719) English essayist Admiration Usually we praise only to be praised. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Admiration No animal admires another animal. Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) French scientist, philosopher Admiration Adolescence See: Boys: Rosebery The imagination of a boy is healthy, and the mature imagination of a man is healthy; but there is a space of life between, in which the soul is in a ferment, the character undecided, the way of life uncertain, the ambition thicksighted: thence proceeds mawkishness. John Keats (1795-1821) English poet Adolescence The big mistake that men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty, they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at twenty-one than you did at ten. Jules Feiffer (b. 1929) American cartoonist Adolescence Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter if only we could prevent girls from being girls. Anthony Hope Hawkins (1863-1933) British novelist Adolescence For the affection of young ladies is of as rapid growth as Jack's beanstalk, and reaches right up to the sky in a night. William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863) English author Adolescence Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz (b. 1951) American journalist Adolescence Adultery See: Catholicism: Menen Jealousy: Shakespeare The Suburbs: Bible, Jeremiah Adultery? Thou shalt not die: die for adultery? No! The wren goes to't, and the small gilded fly Does lecher in my sight. Let copulation thrive. Lear, King Lear William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Adultery What men all gallantry, and gods adultery Is much more common where the climate's sultry. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Adultery Adultery is in your heart not only when you look with excessive sexual zeal at a woman who is not your wife, but also if you look in the same manner at your wife. Pope John Paul II (b. 1920) Adultery Having a wife, be watchful of thy friend, lest false to thee thy fame and goods he spend. Cato the Elder (234-149 BC) Roman statesman Adultery The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself. Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, writer Adultery He that is robb'd, not wanting what is stol'n, Let him not know't, and he's not robbed at all. Othello, Othello William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Adultery Adventure See: Caution: Jung; Savile Marriage: Voltaire Science: Freud Adventure is the champagne of life. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Adventure When you're safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you're having an adventure you wish you were safe at home. Thornton Wilder (1897-1975) American author Adventure One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. Andre Gide (1869-1951) French author Adventure If we do not find anything pleasant, at least we shall find something new. Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, writer Adventure The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate. A fine example was the Prodigal Son - when he started back home. O. Henry (1862-1910) American short story writer Adventure Adversity See: Friends: Dietrich Hard Times Success: Carlyle The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity. Seneca (c. 5-65) Roman writer, philosopher, statesman Adversity The struggle to the top is in itself enough to fulfill the human heart. Sisyphus should be regarded as happy. Albert Camus (1913-1960) French writer Adversity Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health. Carl Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist Adversity Not everything that is more difficult is more meritorious. Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) Italian philosopher, theologian Adversity A reasonable amount o' fleas is good fer a dog - keeps him from broodin' over bein' a dog. Edward Noyes Westcott (1847-1898) American novelist Adversity By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Adversity Struggle is the father of all things . . . It is not by the principles of humanity that man lives or is able to preserve himself above the animal world, but solely by means of the most brutal struggle. Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) German dictator Adversity In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. J. Churton Collins (1848-1908) English author, critic, scholar Adversity Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows. Trinculo, The Tempest William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Adversity Advertising See: Royalty: Sampson You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements. Norman Douglas (1868-1952) British author Advertising The incessant witless repetition of advertisers' moron-fodder has become so much a part of life that if we are not careful, we forget to be insulted by it. The London Times, 1986 Advertising Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket. George Orwell (1903-1950) British author Advertising Publicity is the life of this culture - in so far as without publicity capitalism could not survive - and at the same time publicity is its dream. John Berger (b. 1926) British critic Advertising We grew up founding our dreams on the infinite promise of American advertising. Zelda Fitzgerald (1900-1948) wife of F. Scott Fitzgerald Advertising The case cannot stand if it is the process of satisfying the wants that creates the wants. John Kenneth Galbraith (b. 1908) American economist Advertising Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century. Marshall McLuhan (1911-1981) Canadian social scientist Advertising Advertising agency: eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. Fred Allen (1894-1957) American comic Advertising Advice See: Age: Old Age: La Rochefoucauld Royalty: Savile When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist Advice I have lived some thirty years on this planet, and I have yet to hear the first syllable of valuable or even earnest advice from my seniors. Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American philosopher, author, naturalist Advice The advice of their elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) American writer, physician Advice In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice; because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge. Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773) English statesman, man of letters Advice The only thing one can do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Advice A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. Ed (E. W.) Howe (1853-1937) American journalist, novelist Advice To ask advice is to tout for flattery. J. Churton Collins (1848-1908) English author, critic, scholar Advice Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Advice I'm not a teacher: only a fellow-traveller of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead - ahead of myself as well as you. Bishop of Chelsea, Getting Married George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Advice Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. Aesop (b. 6th century BC) Greek fabulist, slave Advice One day I sat thinking, almost in despair; a hand fell on my shoulder and a voice said reassuringly: "Cheer up, things could get worse." So I cheered up and, sure enough, things got worse. James Hagerty (1909-1981) President Eisenhower's press secretary Advice Africa See: Decolonization: Lord Macmillan By the end of the century, Africa will either be saved or completely destroyed. Eden Kodjo (b. 1938) Togolese politician and administrator 1978-1984 Africa The Afterlife See: Christianity: Waller The Church: Robinson Immortality For the sword outwears its sheath, and the soul wears out the breast. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet The Afterlife We understand living for others and dying for others. The first is easy . . . it's a way out of boredom. To make the second popular we had to invent a belief in personal resurrection. Harley Granville-Barker (1877-1946) English actor, producer, author The Afterlife The dread of something after death, The undiscovered country, from whose bourn No traveller returns. Hamlet, Hamlet William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet The Afterlife The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. Woody Allen (b. 1935) American filmmaker The Afterlife I don't want to express an opinion. You see, I have friends in both places. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author on his belief in heaven or hell The Afterlife Oh, one world at a time! Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American philosopher, author, naturalist The Afterlife Never did Christ utter a single word attesting to a personal resurrection and a life beyond the grave. Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) Russian novelist, philosopher The Afterlife All argument is against it; but all belief is for it. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer The Afterlife Age See: Advice: Holmes Compliments: Irving Death: Dying: Thomas Emotion: Santayana The Generation Gap Innocence: Bradbury Marriage: Goldsmith Maturity Middle Age Sex: Plato Youth At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgement. Henry Grattan (1746-1820) Irish politician Age The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Age If youth but knew; if age but could. Henri Estienne (1531-1598) French scholar, publisher Age What youth deemed crystal, age finds out was dew. Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet Age Every man over forty is a scoundrel. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Age I'm 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were fifteen months in every year, I'd only be 48. That's the trouble with us. We number everything. Take women, for example. I think they deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of 28 and 40. James Thurber (1894-1961) American humorist, illustrator Age What's a man's age? He must hurry more, that's all; Cram in a day what his youth took a year to hold. Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet Age A man's as old as he's feeling, a woman as old as she looks. Mortimer Collins (1827-1876) English novelist, poet Age When a woman tells you her age it's all right to look surprised, but don't scowl. Wilson Mizner (1876-1933) American dramatist, wit Age A lady of a "certain age," which means Certainly aged. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Age The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost. They are added to the ages of other women. Diane de Poitiers (1499-1566) mistress of Henri II of France, patron Age When women pass thirty, they first forget their age; when forty, they forget that they ever remembered it. Ninon de Lenclos (1620-1705) French society lady, wit Age You are not permitted to kill a woman who has injured you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Age The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. Sigmund Z. Engel (1869-?) Age Age: Old Age Have you not a moist eye? a dry hand? a yellow cheek? a white beard? a decreasing leg? an increasing belly? is not your voice broken? your wind short? your chin double? your wit single? and every part about you blasted with antiquity? Chief Justice, King Henry IV part 2 William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Age: Old Age At seventy-seven it is time to be earnest. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Age: Old Age Forty years on, growing older and older, Shorter in wind, as in memory long, Feeble of foot, and rheumatic of shoulder What will it help you that once you were strong? E. E. Bowen (1836-1901) English schoolmaster Age: Old Age All would live long, but none would be old. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, writer Age: Old Age O what a thing is age! Death without death's quiet. Walter Savage Landor (1775-1864) English author Age: Old Age And we who once rang out like a bell Have nothing now to show or to sell; Old bones to carry, old stories to tell: So it is to be an Old Soldier. Padraic Colum (1881-1972) Irish author Age: Old Age When a man fell into his anecdotage it was a sign for him to retire from the world. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Age: Old Age Talking is the disease of age. Ben Jonson (1573-1637) English dramatist, poet Age: Old Age A good old man, sir, he will be talking; as they say, "when the age is in, the wit is out." Dogberry, Much Ado About Nothing William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Age: Old Age Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying! Falstaff, King Henry IV part 2 William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Age: Old Age An old man gives good advice to console himself for no longer being able to set a bad example. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Age: Old Age Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Age: Old Age An old man concludeth from his knowing mankind that they know him too, and that maketh him very wary. Sir George Savile, Lord Halifax (1633-1695) English statesman, author Age: Old Age As a matter of fact, elderly people are not more contemptible than anyone else. Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966) British novelist Age: Old Age One evil in old age is that, as your time is come, you think every little illness the beginning of the end. When a man expects to be arrested, every knock at the door is an alarm. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Age: Old Age No one is so old as to think he cannot live one more year. Cicero (106-43 BC) Roman orator, philosopher Age: Old Age To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. Bernard Baruch (1870-1965) American financier Age: Old Age Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man. Leon Trotsky (1879-1940) Russian revolutionary leader Age: Old Age I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left. Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, writer Age: Old Age The mere process of growing old together will make the slightest acquaintance seem a bosom friend. Logan Pearsall Smith (1865-1946) Anglo-American essayist Age: Old Age The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Age: Old Age Men of age object too much, consult too long, adventure too little, repent too soon. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist Age: Old Age Many a man that can't direct you to a corner drugstore will get a respectful hearing when age has further impaired his mind. Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936) American journalist, humorist Age: Old Age Young men soon give, and soon forget affronts: Old age is slow in both. Joseph Addison (1672-1719) English essayist Age: Old Age Old men are testy, and will have their way. Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) English poet Age: Old Age Being an old maid is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to struggle. Edna Ferber (1887-1968) American author Age: Old Age There are three classes of elderly women; first, that dear old soul; second, that old woman; third, that old witch. Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834) English poet Age: Old Age Growing old is more like a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form. Andre Maurois (1885-1967) French author Age: Old Age I prefer old age to the alternative. Maurice Chevalier (1888-1972) French singer, actor Age: Old Age I have lived long enough; my way of life Is fall'n into the sear, the yellow leaf; And that which should accompany old age, As honour, love, obedience, troops of friends, I must not look to have. Macbeth, Macbeth William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Age: Old Age What is the worst of woes that wait on age? What stamps the wrinkle deeper on the brow? To view each loved one blotted from life's page, And be alone on earth, as I am now. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Age: Old Age They are all gone into the world of light, And I alone sit lingering here. Henry Vaughan (1622-1695) Welsh poet Age: Old Age Agents See: Advertising: Allen Many artists have admittedly no aptitude for merchantry. Arnold Bennett (1867-1931) British novelist Agents It is well-known what a middleman is: he is a man who bamboozles one party and plunders the other. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Agents The trouble with this business is that the stars keep ninety percent of my money. attributed to Lord Grade (b. 1906) British film and TV entrepreneur Agents My agents get ten percent of everything I get, except my blinding headaches. Fred Allen (1894-1957) American comic Agents Aggression Attack is the reaction; I never think I have hit hard unless it rebounds. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Aggression To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight to the blood. George Santayana (1863-1952) American philosopher, poet Aggression Agnostics See: Humanism: Russell O Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul. Joseph Ernest Renan (1823-1892) French writer, critic, scholar Agnostics I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of. Clarence Darrow (1857-1938) American lawyer, writer Agnostics I can't believe in the God of my Fathers. If there is one Mind which understands all things, it will comprehend me in my unbelief. I don't know whose hand hung Hesperus in the sky, and fixed the Dog Star, and scattered the shining dust of Heaven, and fired the sun, and froze the darkness between the lonely worlds that spin in space. Gerald Kersh (1911-1968) British author, journalist Agnostics Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear. Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) American president Agnostics The skeptic does not mean him who doubts, but him who investigates or researches, as opposed to him who asserts and thinks that he has found. Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936) Spanish philosopher, poet, novelist Agnostics If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. Woody Allen (b. 1935) American filmmaker Agnostics Agreement See: Consensus Men and Women: Santayana It is my melancholy fate to like so many people I profoundly disagree with and often heartily dislike people who agree with me. Mary Kingsley (1862-1900) British traveler, writer Agreement My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Agreement Elinor agreed with it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition. Jane Austen (1775-1817) English novelist Agreement When you say that you agree to a thing in principle you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice. Prince Otto von Bismarck (1815-1898) Prussian statesman Agreement Aid See: Charity: Huddleston; Rockefeller The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray. Ralph G. Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer Aid Help a man against his will and you do the same as murder him. Horace (65-8 BC) Latin poet Aid It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of a rope. Bugs (Arthur) Baer (1897-1975) American columnist, short story writer Aid AIDS Any important disease whose causality is murky, and for which treatment is ineffectual, tends to be awash in significance. Susan Sontag (b. 1933) American essayist AIDS I've spent fifteen years of my life fighting for our right to be free and make love whenever, wherever . . . And you're telling me that all those years of what being gay stood for is wrong . . . and I'm a murderer. We have been so oppressed! Don't you remember how it was? Can't you see how important it is for us to love openly, without hiding and without guilt? Mickey, The Normal Heart Larry Kramer (b. 1935) American playwright, novelist AIDS Everywhere I go I see increasing evidence of people swirling about in a human cesspit of their own making. James Anderton (b. 1932) British Chief Constable, Greater Manchester Police Force of the AIDS epidemic AIDS We're all going to go crazy, living this epidemic every minute, while the rest of the world goes on out there, all around us, as if nothing is happening, going on with their own lives and not knowing what it's like, what we're going through. We're living through war, but where they're living it's peacetime, and we're all in the same country. Ned, The Normal Heart Larry Kramer (b. 1935) American playwright, novelist AIDS The thing is evolving in front of one's eyes. One realises that anything one's saying is only a snapshot in time. London doctor (d. 1986) AIDS Alliances Peace, commerce and honest friendship with all nations - entangling alliance with none. Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) American president Alliances When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman Alliances Whomsoever England allies herself with, she will see her allies stronger than she is herself at the end of this war. Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) German dictator April 26, 1942 Alliances Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Alliances Our desire is to be friendly to every country in the world, but we have no desire to have a friendly country choosing our enemies for us. Julius Nyerere (b. 1921) African statesman, president of Tanzania Alliances An ally has to be watched just like an enemy. Leon Trotsky (1879-1940) Russian revolutionary leader Alliances Altruism See: Benefactors Philanthropy As for doing good, that is one of the professions that are full. Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American philosopher, author, naturalist Altruism He who would do good to another must do it in Minute Particulars. General good is the plea of the scoundrel, hypocrite, and flatterer; for art and science cannot exist but in minutely organized Particulars. William Blake (1757-1827) English poet, artist Altruism No people do so much harm as those who go about doing good. Mandell Creighton (1843-1901) English prelate, historian Altruism Such a good friend that she will throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again. Charles, Count Talleyrand (1754-1838) French statesman of Madame de Stael Altruism Ambition See: Getting Ahead Politicians: Jefferson Poverty: Juvenal Promotion: Wilson Men would be angels, angels would be gods. Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet Ambition What parish priest would not like to be Pope? Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, writer Ambition It is a strange desire to seek power and to lose liberty. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist Ambition Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Ambition Ambition is pitiless. Any merit that it cannot use it finds despicable. Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French essayist, moralist Ambition As he was valiant, I honour him; but, as he was ambitious, I slew him. Brutus, Julius Caesar William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Ambition Ambition can creep as well as soar. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman Ambition Ambition often puts Men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same position with creeping. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Ambition 'Tis not what man does which exalts him, But what man would do! Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet Ambition America See: The Consumer Society: Stevenson Dissent: Thurber Fame: Chesterton Heroes: Sullivan The New World New York Success: James Technology: Galbraith Texas Young man, there is America, which at this day serves for little more than to amuse you with stories of strange men and uncouth manners. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman America Of course, America had often been discovered before, but it had always been hushed up. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer America God had a divine purpose in placing this land between two great oceans to be found by those who had a special love of freedom and courage. Ronald Reagan (b. 1911) American president America America is the only nation in history which, miraculously, has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization Georges Clemenceau (1841-1929) French politician, prime minister America America is a mistake, a giant mistake! Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) Austrian psychiatrist America "Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me; I lift my lamp beside the golden door." Emma Lazarus (1849-1887) American poet 'The New Colossus' - sonnet written for inscription on the Statue of Liberty America Ours is the only country deliberately founded on a good idea. John Gunther (1901-1970) American journalist America I believe in America because we have great dreams - and because we have the opportunity to make those dreams come true. Wendell L. Wilkie (1892-1944) American lawyer, businessman, politician America Sometimes people call me an idealist. Well, that is the way I know I am an American. America is the only idealistic nation in the world. Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) American president America The American ideal is, after all, that everyone should be as much alike as possible. James Baldwin (1924-1987) American novelist America America is a tune. It must be sung together. Gerald Stanley Lee (1862-1944) American academic America There is nothing wrong with America that together we can't fix. Ronald Reagan (b. 1911) American president America That impersonal insensitive friendliness that takes the place of ceremony in that land of waifs and strays. Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966) British novelist America America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair. Arnold Joseph Toynbee (1889-1975) British historian America America . . . just a nation of two hundred million used-car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable. Hunter S. Thompson (b. 1939) American journalist America When great nations fear to expand, shrink from expansion, it is because their greatness is coming to an end. Are we, still in the prime of our lusty youth, still at the beginning of our glorious manhood, to sit down among the outworn people, to take our place with the weak and the craven? A thousand times no! Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) American president America The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer America Woman governs America because America is a land of boys who refuse to grow up. Salvador de Madariaga (1886-1978) Spanish diplomat, writer, critic America America is not a young land: it is old and dirty and evil before the settlers, before the Indians. The evil is there waiting. William S. Burroughs (b. 1914) American author America The great social adventure of America is no longer the conquest of the wilderness but the absorption of fifty different peoples. Walter Lippmann (1889-1974) American journalist America America is God's Crucible, the great Melting-Pot where all the races of Europe are melting and re-forming. Israel Zangwill (1864-1926) British writer America America, half-brother of the world! Philip Bailey (1816-1902) British poet America America lives in the heart of every man everywhere who wishes to find a region where he will be free to work out his destiny as he chooses. Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) American president America The business of America is business. Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933) American president America In America people never obey people, they obey justice, or the law. Alexis de Tocqueville (1805-1859) French historian, politician America The United States has to move very fast to even stand still. John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) American president America If you think the US has stood still, who built the largest shopping-center in the world? Richard Nixon (b. 1913) American president America In America you watch TV and think that's totally unreal, then you step outside and it's just the same. Joan Armatrading (b. 1947) British singer America Your women shall scream like peacocks when they talk, and your men neigh like horses when they laugh. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author America I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President. Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977) English comic actor, director America In Boston they ask, "How much does he know?" In New York, "How much is he worth?" In Philadelphia "Who were his parents?" Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author America A Boston man is the east wind made flesh. Thomas Appleton (1812-1884) American author America Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) American president America The people are unreal. The flowers are unreal, they don't smell. The fruit is unreal, it doesn't taste of anything. The whole place is a glaring, gaudy, nightmarish set, built upon the desert. Ethel Barrymore (1879-1959) American actress of Los Angeles America A city with all the personality of a paper cup. Raymond Chandler (1888-1959) American writer of Los Angeles America California is a place where a boom mentality and a sense of Chekhovian loss meet in uneasy suspension; in which the mind is troubled by some buried but ineradicable suspicion that things had better work here, because here, beneath that immense bleached sky, is where we run out of continent. Joan Didion (b. 1934) American writer America Out where the hanclasp's a little stronger, Out where the smile dwells a little longer, That's where the West begins. Arthur Chapman (1873-1935) American poet, author America If you're going to America, bring your own food. Fran Lebowitz (b. 1951) American journalist America Americans See: Courtesy: Bradbury Europe: Emerson Friendliness: Thoreau Gentlemen: Dickens Insults: Gallico Paris: Wilde Promiscuity: McCarthy I am willing to love all mankind, except an American. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Americans For other nations, utopia is a blessed past never to be recovered; for Americans it is just beyond the horizon. Henry Kissinger (b. 1923) American adviser on international affairs Americans There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Americans People in America, of course, live in all sorts of fashions, because they are foreigners, or unlucky, or depraved, or without ambition; people live like that, but Americans live in white detached houses with green shutters. Rigidly, blindly, the dream takes precedence. Margaret Mead (1901-1978) American anthropologist Americans American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers. W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) British author Americans Only in America . . . do these peasants, our mothers, get their hair dyed platinum at the age of sixty, and walk up and down Collins Avenue in Florida in pedalpushers and mink stoles - and with opinions on every subject under the sun. Philip Roth (b. 1933) American novelist Americans Since the earliest days of our frontier irreverence has been one of the signs of our affection. Dean Rusk (b. 1909) American diplomat Americans Being American is to eat a lot of beef steak, and boy, we've got a lot more beefsteak than any other country, and that's why you ought to be glad you're an American. And people have started looking at these big hunks of bloody meat on their plates, you know, and wondering what on earth they think they're doing. Kurt Vonnegut (b. 1922) American novelist Americans When you consider how indifferent Americans are to the quality and cooking of the food they put into their insides, it cannot but strike you as peculiar that they should take such pride in the mechanical appliances they use for its excretion. W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) British author Americans Americans are rather like bad Bulgarian wine: they don't travel well. Bernard Falk (1882-1960) British author Americans Americans are uneasy with their possessions, guilty about power, all of which is difficult for Europeans to perceive because they are themselves so truly materialistic, so versed in the uses of power. Joan Didion (b. 1934) American writer Americans Amorality It is safest to be moderately base - to be flexible in shame, and to be always ready for what is generous, good and just, when anything is to be gained by virtue. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Amorality If he does really think that there is no distinction between virtue and vice, why, Sir, when he leaves our houses let us count our spoons. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Amorality Anarchism See: Socialism: Crosland The State: Bakunin; Kropotkin Our idea of anarchism is launched: nongovernment is developing as non-property did before. Pierre-Joseph Proudhon (1809-1865) French social theorist Anarchism Preferring personal government, with its tact and flexibility, is called royalism. Preferring impersonal government, with its dogmas and definitions, is called republicanism. Objecting broadmindedly both to kings and creeds is called Bosh - at least, I know no more philosophical word for it. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Anarchism Anarchism is the only philosophy which brings to man the consciousness of himself; which maintains that God, the State, and society are non-existent, that their promises are null and void, since they can be fulfilled only through man's subordination. Emma Goldman (1869-1940) American anarchist Anarchism Dame dynamite, que l'on danse vite . . . Dansons et chansons et dynamitons! Lady Dynamite, let's dance quickly, Let's dance and sing and dynamite everything! French anarchist song of the 1880s Anarchism Ancestry See: The Aristocracy: Burton Snobbery: Agar Tradition: Chesterton; Burke Every man is an omnibus in which his ancestors ride. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) American writer, physician Ancestry Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) Scottish novelist, essayist, poet Ancestry Geneology. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Ancestry Englishmen hate Liberty and Equality too much to understand them. But every Englishman loves a pedigree. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Ancestry It is indeed a desirable thing to be well-descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors. Plutarch (46-120) Greek essayist, biographer Ancestry Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies. Saint Paul (3-67) Apostle to the Gentiles Ancestry There is a certain class of people who prefer to say that their fathers came down in the world through their own follies than to boast that they rose in the world through their own industry and talents. It is the same shabby-genteel sentiment, the same vanity of birth which makes men prefer to believe that they are degenerated angels rather than elevated apes. W. Winwoode Reade (1838-1875) English traveler, author Ancestry I would rather make my name than inherit it. William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863) English author Ancestry I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be. Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) American president Ancestry In church your grandsire cut his throat; To do the job too long he tarried: He should have had my hearty vote To cut his throat before he married. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Ancestry Anecdotes See: Age: Old Age: Disraeli With a tale, forsooth, he cometh unto you; with a tale which holdeth children from play, and old men from the chimney corner. Sir Philip Sidney (1554-1586) English poet, critic, soldier Anecdotes The history of a soldier's wound beguiles the pain of it. Laurence Sterne (1713-1768) English author Anecdotes If it isn't true at least it's a happy invention. Giordano Bruno (1548-1600) Italian philosopher Anecdotes A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't. Irvin S. Cobb (1876-1944) American writer Anecdotes How is it that we remember the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not remember how often we have recounted it to the same person? Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Anecdotes We may be willing to tell a story twice, never to hear it more than once. William Hazlitt (1778-1830) English essayist Anecdotes Faith! he must make his stories shorter Or change his comrades once a quarter. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Anecdotes Anger See: Patience: Dryden Speeches: Emerson Anger is a kind of temporary madness. Saint Basil (330-379) Greek theologian Anger Anger is one of the sinews of the soul; he that lacks it has a maimed mind. Thomas Fuller (1608-1661) English cleric Anger Heav'n has no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury like a woman scorn'd. William Congreve (1670-1729) English dramatist Anger No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched. George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) American critic Anger Angling The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but obtainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope. John Buchan (1875-1940) British author, statesman Angling We may say of angling as Dr. Boteler said of strawberries, "Doubtless God could have made a better berry, but doubtless God never did"; and so, if I might be judge, "God never did make a more calm, quiet, innocent recreation than angling." Izaak Walton (1593-1683) English author, biographer Angling Fly fishing may be a very pleasant amusement; but angling or float fishing I can only compare to a stick and a string, with a worm at one end and a fool at the other. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Angling Animals See: Dogs Horses Nothing to be done really about animals. Anything you do looks foolish. The answer isn't in us. It's almost as if we're put here on earth to show how silly they aren't. Russell Hoban (b. 1925) British author Animals They do not sweat and whine about their condition, They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins, They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God, Not one is dissatisfied, not one is demented with the mania of owning things, Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago. Walt Whitman (1819-1892) American poet Animals We know what animals do and what beaver and bears and salmon and other creatures need, because once our men were married to them and they acquired this knowledge from their animal wives. native Hawaiians quoted by Levi-Strauss in The Savage Mind Animals A peasant becomes fond of his pig and is glad to salt away its pork. What is significant, and is so difficult for the urban stranger to understand, is that the two statements are connected by an and and not by a but. John Berger (b. 1926) British critic Animals Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Animals The zoo cannot but disappoint. The public purpose of zoos is to offer visitors the opportunity of looking at animals. Yet nowhere in a zoo can a stranger encounter the look of an animal. At the most, the animal's gaze flickers and passes on. They look sideways. They look blindly beyond. John Berger (b. 1926) British critic Animals Anniversaries Let us love nobly, and live, and add again Years and years unto years, till we attain To write threescore: this is the second of our reign. John Donne (1572-1631) English divine, metaphysical poet Anniversaries The secret anniversaries of the heart. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882) American poet Anniversaries Anthologies It might well be said of me that here I have merely made up a bunch of other people's flowers, and provided nothing of my own but the string to bind them. Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) French essayist, moralist Anthologies A well-chosen anthology is a complete dispensary of medicine for the more common mental disorders, and may be used as much for prevention as cure. Robert Graves (1895-1985) British poet, novelist Anthologies Lexicographer: a writer of dictionaries, a harmless drudge. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Anthologies Antipathy They exchanged the quick, brilliant smile of women who dislike each other on sight. Marshall Pugh (b. 1925) British journalist, author Antipathy Violent antipathies are always suspicious, and betray a secret affinity. William Hazlitt (1778-1830) English essayist Antipathy Anxiety But Jesus, when you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When you have both, it's health, you worry about getting ruptured or something. If everything is simply jake then you're frightened of death. J. P. Donleavy (b. 1926) American author Anxiety When you suffer an attack of nerves you're being attacked by the nervous system. What chance has a man got against a system? Russell Hoban (b. 1925) British author Anxiety Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due. W. R. Inge (1860-1954) Dean of St. Paul's, London Anxiety Women like to sit down with trouble as if it were knitting. Ellen Glasgow (1874-1945) American novelist Anxiety My apprehensions come in crowds; I dread the rustling of the grass; The very shadows of the clouds Have power to shake me as they pass: I question things and do not find One that will answer to my mind; And all the world appears unkind. William Wordsworth (1770-1850) English poet Anxiety Probably the only place where a man can feel really secure is in a maximum security prison, except for the imminent threat of release. Germaine Greer (b. 1939) Australian feminist writer Anxiety I've never met a healthy person who worried much about his health, or a good person who worried about his soul. J. B. S. Haldane (1892-1964) British scientist Anxiety Apathy See: Indifference The difference between our decadence and the Russians' is that while theirs is brutal, ours is apathetic. James Thurber (1894-1961) American humorist, illustrator Apathy Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. Helen Keller (1880-1968) American author, lecturer Apathy Apocalypse God seems to have left the receiver off the hook, and time is running out. Arthur Koestler (1905-1983) British author Apocalypse This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper. T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) Anglo-American poet Apocalypse Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus. John the Divine (b. 1st century AD) Apostle of Jesus Apocalypse Apologies Never make a defence or apology before you be accused. King Charles I of Great Britain (1600-1649) Apologies To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Apologies A stiff apology is a second insult. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Apologies It is a good rule in life never to apologise. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. P. G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) British novelist, humorist Apologies Appearances See: The Commonplace: Lincoln Dress Faces Vanity: de Unamuno Women: Tertullian To see ourselves as others see us is a most salutary gift. Hardly less important is the capacity to see others as they see themselves. Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) English author Appearances Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Appearances I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a grumpy face. General Pinochet (b. 1915) President of Chile Appearances Straight trees have crooked roots. 16th-century proverb Appearances A good man often appears gauche simply because he does not take advantage of the myriad mean little chances of making himself look stylish. Preferring truth to form, he is not constantly at work upon the facade of his appearance. Iris Murdoch (b. 1919) Anglo-Irish writer Appearances He looked as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food. Raymond Chandler (1888-1959) American writer Appearances She got her good looks from her father - he's a plastic surgeon. Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comic actor Appearances Appeasement And that is called paying the Dane-geld; But we've proved it again and again, That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld You never get rid of the Dane. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author Appeasement Thus Belial, with words clothed in reason's garb, Counselled ignoble ease, and peaceful sloth, Not peace. John Milton (1608-1674) English poet Appeasement An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British statesman, writer Appeasement Appeasers believe that if you keep on throwing steaks to a tiger, the tiger will turn vegetarian. Heywood Broun (1888-1939) American journalist, novelist Appeasement Applause They named it Ovation from the Latin ovis, a sheep. Plutarch (46-120) Greek essayist, biographer Applause I want to thank you for stopping the applause. It is impossible for me to look humble for any period of time. Henry Kissinger (b. 1923) American adviser on international affairs Applause Do not trust to the cheering, for those very persons would shout as much if you and I were going to be hanged. Oliver Cromwell (1599-1658) Lord Protector of England Applause The silence that accepts merit as the most natural thing in the world is the highest applause. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Applause Architecture What has happened to architecture since the second world war that the only passers-by who can contemplate it without pain are those equipped with a white stick and a dog? Bernard Levin (b. 1928) British journalist Architecture A large number of us have developed a feeling that architects tend to design houses for the approval of fellow architects and critics - not for the tenants. Charles, Prince of Wales (b. 1948) Architecture Architecture is the art of how to waste space. Philip Johnson (b. 1906) American architect Architecture Light, God's eldest daughter, is a principal beauty in a building. Thomas Fuller (1608-1661) English cleric Architecture No person who is not a great sculptor or painter can be an architect. If he is not a sculptor or painter, he can only be a builder. John Ruskin (1819-1900) English critic Architecture Why can't we have those curves and arches that express feeling in design? What is wrong with them? Why has everything got to be vertical, straight, unbending, only at right angles - and functional? Charles, Prince of Wales (b. 1948) Architecture No architecture is so haughty as that which is simple. John Ruskin (1819-1900) English critic Architecture Si monumentum requiris, circumspice. If you would see his monument, look around. of Sir Christopher Wren, by his son Architecture Argument See: Agreement: Austen Persuasion Myself when young did eagerly frequent Doctor and Saint, and heard great Argument About it and about: but evermore Came out by the same Door wherein I went. from The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam trans. Edward Fitzgerald (1809-1883) Argument A man never tells you anything until you contradict him. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Argument One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher Argument You raise your voice when you should reinforce your argument. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Argument You have not converted a man because you have silenced him. John, Lord Morley (1838-1923) English writer, Liberal politician Argument Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Argument To gain one's way is no escape from the responsibility for an inferior solution. Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British statesman, writer Argument Persons of good sense, I have since observed, seldom fall into disputation, except lawyers, university men, and men of all sorts that have been bred at Edinburgh. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, writer Argument The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. Antonio, The Merchant of Venice William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Argument Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanswerable. Joseph Addison (1672-1719) English essayist Argument If you wish to win a man's heart, allow him to confute you. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Argument A woman who is confuted is never convinced. J. Churton Collins (1848-1908) English author, critic, scholar Argument The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat. James Russell Lowell (1819-1891) American poet, editor Argument Between friends differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality. W. H. Auden (1907-1973) Anglo-American poet Argument There are three sides to every question: your side, his side, and to hell with it. anonymous Argument The Aristocracy See: The English: Arnold The House of Lords: Winster Idleness: Burton We, my lords, may thank Heaven that we have something better than our brains to depend on. Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773) English statesman, man of letters The Aristocracy There are bad manners everywhere, but an aristocracy is bad manners organized. Henry James (1843-1916) American novelist The Aristocracy For what were all these country patriots born? To hunt, and vote, and raise the price of corn? Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet The Aristocracy We may talk what we please of lilies and lions rampant, and spread eagles in fields d'or or d'argent; but if heraldry were guided by reason, a plough in a field arable would be the most noble and ancient of arms. Abraham Cowley (1618-1667) English author The Aristocracy A fully equipped Duke costs as much to keep up as two Dreadnoughts, and they are just as great a terror - and they last longer. David Lloyd George (1863-1945) Welsh Liberal politician, prime minister The Aristocracy Almost in every kingdom the most ancient families have been at first princes' bastards. Robert Burton (1577-1640) English clergyman, author The Aristocracy I have known a German Prince with more titles than subjects, and a Spanish nobleman with more names than shirts. Oliver Goldsmith (1728-1774) Anglo-Irish author The Aristocracy There is no stronger craving in the world than that of the rich for titles, except that of the titled for riches. Hesketh Pearson (1887-1964) British biographer The Aristocracy Lords are lordliest in their wine. John Milton (1608-1674) English poet The Aristocracy A degenerate nobleman is like a turnip. There is nothing good of him but that which is underground. 17th-century English saying The Aristocracy Those comfortably padded lunatic asylums which are known, euphemistically, as the stately homes of England. Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) British novelist The Aristocracy Stemmata quid faciunt? is the use of your pedigrees? Juvenal (c. 40-130) Roman satiric poet The Aristocracy The Arms Race See: The Nuclear Age: Einstein; de Gaulle; White Let him who desires peace prepare for war. Vegetius (b. 4th century AD) Roman military strategist The Arms Race The ability to get to the verge without getting into the war is the necessary art. John Foster Dulles (1888-1959) American Republican politician The Arms Race If this phrase of the "balance of power" is to be always an argument for war, the pretence for war will never be wanting, and peace can never be secure. John Bright (1811-1889) English radical politician The Arms Race Security is a game in which the final goal is never quite in reach. Laurence Martin (b. 1928) British author, academic The Arms Race Nothing could have been more obvious to the people of the early twentieth century than the rapidity with which war was becoming impossible. And as certainly they did not see it. They did not see it until the atomic bombs burst in their fumbling hands. H. G. Wells (1866-1946) English author, social thinker written in 1914 The Arms Race The world knows, and above all the Soviets know, that no American President will sacrifice New York or Washington to save Berlin. Richard Nixon (b. 1913) American president The Arms Race One cannot fashion a credible deterrent out of an incredible action. Robert McNamara (b. 1916) American industrialist, politician, financier The Arms Race Every gun that is fired, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. The world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969) American president The Arms Race The emotional security and political stability in this country entitle us to be a nuclear power. Sir Ronald Mason (b. 1930) Chief Scientific Adviser, Ministry of Defence, 1983 The Arms Race The superpowers often behave like two heavily-armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision. Henry Kissinger (b. 1923) American adviser on international affairs The Arms Race Nuclear weapons are not in my line; unfortunately I am in their line. E. M. Forster (1879-1970) British novelist The Arms Race The Army See: Generals Patriotism: Roosevelt Uniforms: Lawrence War: Stalin The professional military mind is by necessity an inferior and unimaginative mind; no man of high intellectual quality would willingly imprison his gifts in such a calling. H. G. Wells (1866-1946) English author, social thinker The Army It has been calculated by the ablest politicians that no State, without being soon exhausted, can maintain above the hundredth part of its members in arms and idleness. Edward Gibbon (1737-1794) English historian The Army The chief attraction of military service has consisted and will consist in this compulsory and irreproachable idleness. Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) Russian novelist, philosopher The Army Soldiers in peace are like chimneys in summer. Lord Burghley (1520-1598) English statesman The Army Now, you mummy's darlings, get a rift on them boots. Definitely shine 'em, my little curly-headed lambs, for in our mob war or no war, you die with clean boots on. Gerald Kersh (1911-1968) British author, journalist The Army National Service did the country a lot of good but it darned near killed the army. General Sir Richard Hull (b. 1907) Chief of the Imperial General Staff The Army He learned the arts of riding, fencing, gunnery, And how to scale a fortress - or a nunnery. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet The Army The uncontrolled licentiousness of a brutal and insolent soldiery. Baron Erskine (1750-1823) English jurist The Army Drinking is the soldier's pleasure. John Dryden (1631-1700) English poet, dramatist, critic The Army The mere scum of the earth. Duke of Wellington (1769-1852) English soldier, statesman of his men The Army We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too. But single men in barracks, most remarkable like you; And if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints, Why, single men in barracks don't grow into plaster saints. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author The Army I had rather have a plain, russet-coated Captain, that knows what he fights for, and loves what he knows, than that which you call a Gentleman and is nothing else. Oliver Cromwell (1599-1658) Lord Protector of England The Army On becoming soldiers we have not ceased to be citizens. spokesman for Cromwell's soldiers, 1647 The Army Soldiers are dreamers; when the guns begin They think of firelit homes, clean beds, and wives. Siegfried Sassoon (1886-1967) British poet, author The Army Come on you sons of bitches! Do you want to live for ever? Daniel Daly (1874-1937) Gunnery Sergeant, US Marine Corps The Army I don't know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they terrify me. Duke of Wellington (1769-1852) English soldier, statesman The Army Horribly stuffed with epithets of war. Iago, Othello William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet The Army Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die. Lord Tennyson (1809-1892) English poet The Army Soldiers are citizens of death's grey land. Siegfried Sassoon (1886-1967) British poet, author The Army The third part of an army must be destroyed, before a good one can be made out of it. Sir George Savile, Lord Halifax (1633-1695) English statesman, author The Army We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he today that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile This day shall gentle his condition: And gentlemen in England now a-bed Shall think themselves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. King Henry, King Henry V William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet The Army Soldiers who wish to be a hero Are practically zero, But those who wish to be civilians, Jesus, they run into the millions. graffito collected by Norman Rosten The Army The feeling about a soldier is, when all is said and done, he wasn't really going to do very much with his life anyway. The example usually is: "he wasn't going to compose Beethoven's Fifth." Kurt Vonnegut (b. 1922) American novelist The Army If I should die, think only this of me, That there's some corner of a foreign field That is for ever England. Rupert Brooke (1887-1915) British poet The Army When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains, An' the women come out to cut up what remains, Jest roll to your rifle an' blow out your brains An' go to your Gawd like a soldier. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author The Army Arrogance How haughtily he cocks his nose, To tell what every schoolboy knows. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Arrogance Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own. Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986) American journalist Arrogance If I cannot brag of knowing something, then I brag of not knowing it; at any rate, brag. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Arrogance The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman Arrogance Art See: Competition: Morris Creeds: Shaw Portraits Art is man added to nature. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist Art And the first rude sketch that the world had seen was joy to his* mighty heart Till the Devil whispered behind the leaves "It's pretty, but is it art?" *(Adam's) Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author Art There are painters who transform the sun into a yellow spot, but there are others who, thanks to their art and intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun. Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Spanish artist Art What is a work of art? A word made flesh . . . a thing seen, a thing known, the immeasurable translated into terms of the measurable. Eric Gill (1882-1940) British sculptor Art Art is the imposing of a pattern on experience, and our aesthetic enjoyment in recognition of the pattern. Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947) British philosopher Art Art is I; Science is We. Claude Bernard (1813-1878) French physiologist Art If only we could pull out our brain and use only our eyes. Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Spanish artist Art Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness. George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) American critic Art What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. Augustus Saint-Gaudens (1848-1907) American sculptor Art Art resides in the resolution of inner and outer conflict. Belfast art lecturer, explaining his appearance in the nude Art A work of art that contains theories is like an object on which the price tag has been left. Marcel Proust (1871-1922) French novelist Art To say that a work of art is good, but incomprehensible to the majority of men, is the same as saying of some kind of food that it is very good but that most people can't eat it. Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) Russian novelist, philosopher Art If there were no other proof of the infinite patience of God with men, a very good one could be found in His toleration of the pictures that are painted of Him. Thomas Merton (1915-1968) American author, clergyman Art I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can shew me in the world. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Art They are good furniture pictures, unworthy of praise, and undeserving of blame. John Ruskin (1819-1900) English critic Art If Botticelli were alive today he'd be working for Vogue. Peter Ustinov (b. 1921) British author, actor, wit Art Art is skill, that is the first meaning of the word. Eric Gill (1882-1940) British sculptor Art There has never been a boy painter, nor can there be. The art requires a long apprenticeship, being mechanical as well as intellectual. John Constable (1776-1837) English landscape painter Art Painting consumes labour not disproportionate to its effect; but a fellow will hack half a year at a block of marble to make something in stone that hardly resembles a man. The value of statuary is owing to its difficulty. You would not value the finest head cut upon a carrot. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Art To say of a picture, as is often said in its praise, that it shows great and earnest labor, is to say that it is incomplete and unfit for view. James McNeill Whistler (1834-1903) American artist Art Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Art Art is either plagiarism or revolution. Paul Gauguin (1838-1903) French artist Art Without tradition, art is a flock of sheep without a shepherd. Without innovation, it is a corpse. Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British statesman, writer Art Art is dangerous. It is one of the attractions, when it ceases to be dangerous you don't want it. Anthony Burgess (b. 1917) British author Art The English public takes no interest in a work of art until it is told that the work in question is immoral. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Art Art does not reproduce the visible; rather, it makes visible. Paul Klee (1879-1940) Swiss painter Art Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth. Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Spanish artist Art There is nothing more difficult for a truly creative painter than to paint a rose, because before he can do so he has first to forget all the roses that were ever painted. Henri Matisse (1869-1954) French artist Art When I am finishing a picture I hold some God-made object up to it - a rock, a flower, the branch of a tree or my hand - as a kind of final test. If the painting stands up beside a thing man cannot make, the painting is authentic. If there's a clash between the two, it is bad art. Marc Chagall (1889-1985) Russian painter Art Yes, madam, Nature is creeping up. James McNeill Whistler (1834-1903) American artist to a lady who said a landscape view reminded her of his work Art I have seen, and heard, much of Cockney impudence before now; but never expected to hear a coxcomb ask two hundred guineas for flinging a pot of paint in the public's face. John Ruskin (1819-1900) English critic of Whistler's 'Nocturne in Black and Gold' Art Painting can do for the illiterate what writing does for those who can read. Pope Gregory the Great (c. 540-604) Art Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed. Cao Yu (b. 1910) Chinese dramatist Art All art is quite useless. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Art Artists See: Bohemia Nudity: Hawthorne Paris: Nietzsche Portraits: Sargent You say you are incapable of expressing your thought. How then do you explain the lucidity and brilliance with which you are expressing the thought that you are incapable of thought? Jacques Riviere surrealist artist letter to Antonin Artaud, 1923/24 Artists There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. Salvador Dali (1904-1989) Spanish painter Artists Before I was shot I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there. Andy Warhol (1930-1987) American artist Artists What the public criticizes in you, cultivate. It is you. Jean Cocteau (1891-1963) French writer, film director Artists Every artist writes his own autobiography. Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) British psychologist, author Artists The artist, like the God of creation, remains within or behind or beyond or above his handiwork, invisible, refined out of existence, indifferent, paring his fingernails. James Joyce (1882-1941) Irish novelist Artists Artists do not prove things. They do not need to. They know them. Kneller, In Good King Charles's Golden Days George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Artists An artist must know how to convince others of the truth of his lies. Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Spanish artist Artists The artist's work is to shew us ourselves as we really are. Our minds are nothing but this knowledge of ourselves; and he who adds a jot to such knowledge creates new mind as surely as any woman creates new men. Tanner, Man and Superman George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Artists If they have not opened the eyes of the blind, they have at least given great encouragement to the short-sighted, and while their leaders may have all the inexperience of old age, their young men are far too wise ever to be sensible. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer of the Impressionists Artists When he painted a road, the roadmakers were there in his imagination, when he painted the turned earth of a ploughed field, the gesture of the blade turning the earth was included in his own act. Wherever he looked he saw the labour of existence; and this labour, recognised as such, was what constituted reality for him. John Berger (b. 1926) British critic of Van Gogh Artists The true function of art is to criticize, embellish and edit nature . . . The artist is a sort of impassioned proof-reader, blue-pencilling the bad spelling of God. H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist Artists Good painters imitate nature, but bad ones spew it up. Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616) Spanish novelist, dramatist, poet Artists The artist . . . is in the painful situation of having to choose between being despised and being despicable. If his powers are of the first order he must incur one or the other of these misfortunes - the former if he uses his powers, the latter if he does not. Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) British philosopher, mathematician, social reformer Artists The soul, too, has her virginity and must bleed a little before bearing fruit. George Santayana (1863-1952) American philosopher, poet Artists The artistic temperament is a disease that affects amateurs . . . Artists of a large and wholesome vitality get rid of their art easily, as they breathe easily or perspire easily. But in artists of less force, the thing becomes a pressure, and produces a definite pain, which is called the artistic temperament. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Artists Many excellent cooks are spoilt by going into the arts. Paul Gauguin (1838-1903) French artist Artists Art is a jealous mistress, and if a man have a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture or philosophy, he makes a bad husband and an ill provider. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Artists A woman is fascinated not by art, but by the noise made by those who are in the art field. Anton Chekhov (1860-1904) Russian writer, physician Artists I should hardly think it is sensible to suffer the pains of creation just for money or the mild pleasures of praise. William Bolitho (1890-1930) British author Artists The notion of making money by popular work, and then retiring to do good work on the proceeds, is the most familiar of all the devil's traps for artists. Logan Pearsall Smith (1865-1946) Anglo-American essayist Artists The artist who always paints the same scene pleases the public for the sole reason that it recognises him with ease and thinks itself a connoisseur. Alfred Stevens (1818-1875) British artist Artists Ruskin's counsel: For two days' work you ask two hundred guineas? Whistler: No, I ask it for the knowledge of a lifetime. altercation during Ruskin's lawsuit against Whistler Artists Artists, as a rule, do not live in the purple; they live mainly in the red. Mr. Justice, Lord Pearce (1901-1985) British judge Artists It is very good advice to believe only what an artist does, rather than what he says about his work. David Hockney (b. 1937) British painter Artists His work was that curious mixture of bad painting and good intentions that always entitles a man to be called a representative British artist. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Artists Great artists have no country. Alfred de Musset (1810-1857) French poet, novelist, playwright Artists The Arts See: Patronage: Huxley When politicians and civil servants hear the word "culture" they feel for their blue pencil. Viscount Esher (b. 1913) British architect The Arts All the arts in America are a gigantic racket run by unscrupulous men for unhealthy women. Sir Thomas Beecham (1879-1961) British conductor The Arts There is a great deal to be said for the Arts. For one thing they offer the only career in which commercial failure is not necessarily discreditable. Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966) British novelist The Arts [He] believes in the fine arts with all the earnestness of a man who does not understand them. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic The Arts Asia See: Empire: Kipling The mysterious East, perfumed like a flower, silent like death, dark like a grave. Joseph Conrad (1857-1924) English novelist Asia Asia is not going to be civilized after the methods of the West. There is too much Asia and she is too old. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author Asia Because the European does not know his own unconscious, he does not understand the East and projects into it everything he fears and despises in himself. Carl Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist Asia Assassination See: Biography: Dennis Politicians: Layton Royalty: King Edward VII Television: Newsweek Assassination's the fastest way. Moliere (1622-1673) French playwright Assassination Assassination is the extreme form of censorship. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Assassination It is one of the incidents of the profession. King Umberto I of Italy (1844-1900) after an attempt on his life Assassination Assassination is the perquisite of princes. European court cliche Assassination My family has learned a very cruel lesson of both history and fate. Senator Edward Kennedy (b. 1932) American Democratic politician Assassination The American public would forgive me anything except running off with Eddie Fisher. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Jacqueline Kennedy (b. 1929) American former First Lady after the assassination of John F. Kennedy Assassination Tell my mother I died for my country. I thought I did for the best. Useless! Useless! John Wilkes Booth (1838-1865) American actor after his assassination of Abraham Lincoln Assassination A desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy. Guy Fawkes (1570-1606) Catholic conspirator on the gunpowder plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament (after Hippocrates) Assassination Assassination has never changed the history of the world. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Assassination Astrology This is the excellent foppery of the world, that, when we are sick in fortune, often the surfeits of our own behaviour, we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and stars. Edmund, King Lear William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Astrology Atheism See: Humanism: Russell Here we are, we're alone in the universe, there's no God, it just seems that it all began by something as simple as sunlight striking on a piece of rock. And here we are. We've only got ourselves. Somehow, we've just got to make a go of it. We've only ourselves. Jean, The Entertainer John Osborne (b. 1929) British playwright Atheism Absolute atheism starts in an act of faith in reverse gear and is a full-blown religious commitment. Jacques Maritain (1882-1973) French philosopher Atheism Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God. Heywood Broun (1888-1939) American journalist, novelist Atheism An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. John Buchan (1875-1940) British author, statesman Atheism No one can be an unbeliever nowadays. The Christian apologists have left one nothing to disbelieve. Saki (H. H. Munro) (1870-1916) Scottish author Atheism And that inverted Bowl we call The Sky, Whereunder crawling coop't we live and die, Lift not thy hands to It for help - for It Rolls impotently on as Thou or I. from The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam trans. Edward Fitzgerald (1809-1883) Atheism Authenticity About as genuine as tea made from a bit of paper which once lay in a drawer beside another bit of paper which had been used to wrap up a few tea-leaves from which tea had already been made three times. Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855) Danish philosopher Authenticity Autobiography See: Artists: Ellis Biography Confessions: France Autobiography is now as common as adultery and hardly less reprehensible. John Grigg (b. 1924) British author, journalist Autobiography Memoirs: The backstairs of history. George Meredith (1828-1909) English author Autobiography The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and about all time. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Autobiography A writer is rarely so well inspired as when he talks about himself. Anatole France (1844-1924) French author Autobiography All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me. Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American humorous writer Autobiography I am being frank about myself in this book. I tell of my first mistake on page 850. Henry Kissinger (b. 1923) American adviser on international affairs Autobiography Autobiography is an unrivalled vehicle for telling the truth about other people. Philip Guedalla (1889-1944) British biographer, historian Autobiography When my journal appears, many statues must come down. Duke of Wellington (1769-1852) English soldier, statesman Autobiography I dislike modern memoirs. They are generally written by people who have either entirely lost their memories, or have never done anything worth remembering. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Autobiography Autobiographies ought to begin with Chapter Two. Ellery Sedgwick (1872-1960) American editor Autobiography If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it. J. D. Salinger (b. 1919) American author opening words of Catcher in the Rye Autobiography Awards See: Literature: Bennett He got the peace prize; we got the problem. If I'm following a general, and the enemy gives him rewards, I tend to get suspicious. Especially if he gets a peace award before the war is over. Malcolm X (1925-1965) American radical leader of Martin Luther King Awards Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more. John Lennon (1940-1980) English rock singer, songwriter Awards The cross of the Legion of Honour has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Awards Members rise from CMG (known sometimes in Whitehall as Call Me God) to KCMG (Kindly Call Me God) to GCMG (God Calls Me God). Anthony Sampson (b. 1926) British journalist, author Awards Babies See: Investment: Churchill A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. Father Ronald Knox (1888-1957) British clergyman, writer Babies Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English novelist Babies From the moment of birth, when the Stone Age baby confronts the twentieth-century mother, the baby is subjected to these forces of violence, called love, as its father and mother and their parents and their parents before them, have been. These forces are mainly concerned with destroying most of its potential. R. D. Laing (1927-1989) British psychiatrist Babies Babies are the enemies of the human race. Isaac Asimov (b. 1920) American author Babies Bachelors See: Marriage: Johnson Reform: Moore It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Jane Austen (1775-1817) English novelist Bachelors A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy for ever. Helen Rowland (1875-1950) American journalist Bachelors Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist Bachelors "Come, come," said Tom's father, "at your time of life, There's no longer excuse for thus playing the rake - It is time you should think, boy, of taking a wife." "Why, so it is father - whose wife shall I take?" Thomas Moore (1779-1852) Irish poet Bachelors Baldness Bald as the bare mountain tops are bald, with a baldness full of grandeur. Matthew Arnold (1822-1888) English poet, critic Baldness There's one thing about baldness; it's neat. Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, writer, artist Baldness Banality See: The Commonplace: Ortega y Gasset There is only one thing it requires real courage to say, and that is a truism. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Banality Men are seldom more commonplace than on supreme occasions. Samuel Butler (1835-1902) English author Banality Banks Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) American writer, physician Banks A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Banks It is easier to rob by setting up a Bank than by holding up a Bank Clerk. Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956) German dramatist, poet Banks Bargaining See: Hope: da Vinci There are very honest people who do not think that they have had a bargain unless they have cheated a merchant. Anatole France (1844-1924) French author Bargaining Here's the rule for bargains: "Do other men, for they would do you." That's the true business precept. Jonas Chuzzlewit, Martin Chuzzlewit Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English novelist Bargaining It is naught, it is naught, saith the buyer; but when he is gone his way, then he boasteth. Bible, Proverbs Bargaining Necessity never made a good bargain. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, writer Bargaining Beards That ornamental excrement which groweth beneath the chin. Thomas Fuller (1608-1661) English cleric Beards The hoary head is a crown of glory if it be found in the way of righteousness. Bible, Proverbs Beards A beard signifies lice, not brains. Greek proverb Beards The Beatles See: Awards: Lennon Getting Ahead: Lennon Christianity will go. We're more popular than Jesus now. John Lennon (1940-1980) English rock singer, songwriter The Beatles Beauty See: Inheritance: Dryden Religion: Disraeli Sex: Shaw Women: Wollstonecraft O Beauty, so ancient and so new! Saint Augustine (354-430) theologian Beauty The ideal has many names, and Beauty is but one of them. W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) British author Beauty Beauty for some provides escape. Who gain a happiness in eyeing The gorgeous buttocks of the ape Or Autumn sunsets exquisitely dying. Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) English author Beauty The epithet beautiful is used by surgeons to describe operations which their patients describe as ghastly, by physicists to describe methods of measurement which leave sentimentalists cold, by lawyers to describe cases which ruin all the parties to them, and by lovers to describe the objects of their infatuation, however unattractive they may appear to the unaffected spectators. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Beauty Beauty in distress is much the most affecting beauty. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman Beauty It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But it is better to be good than to be ugly. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Beauty Beauty is indeed a good gift of God; but that the good may not think it a great good, God dispenses it even to the wicked. Saint Augustine (354-430) theologian Beauty Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Beauty To me, fair friend, you never can be old For as you were when first your eye I eyed, Such seems your beauty still. William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Beauty The flowers anew, returning seasons bring! But beauty faded has no second spring. Ambrose Philips (1674-1749) English poet, politician Beauty If beauty isn't genius it usually signals at least a high level of animal cunning. Peter York (b. 1950) British journalist Beauty Bed See: Lovers: proverb The happiest part of a man's life is what he passes lying awake in bed in the morning. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Bed The cool kindliness of sheets, that soon Smooth away trouble; and the rough male kiss Of blankets. Rupert Brooke (1887-1915) British poet Bed To bedward be you merry or have merry company about you, so that to bedward no anger nor heaviness, sorrow nor pensifulness do trouble or disquiet you. Andrew Borde (1490-1549) English traveler, physician Bed Whoever thinks of going to bed before twelve o'clock is a scoundrel. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Bed For I've been born and I've been wed - All of man's peril comes of bed. C. H. Webb (1834-1905) American journalist Bed Belief See: Creeds With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another. G. C. Lichtenberg (1742-1799) German physicist, writer Belief When once a man is determined to believe, the very absurdity of the doctrine does but confirm him in his faith. Junius (b. 18th century) pseudonym of a writer never identified Belief The word 'belief' is a difficult thing for me. I don't believe. I must have a reason for a certain hypothesis. Either I know a thing, and then I know it - I don't need to believe it. Carl Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist Belief There are those who feel an imperative need to believe, for whom the values of a belief are proportionate, not to its truth, but to its definiteness. Incapable of either admitting the existence of contrary judgements or of suspending their own, they supply the place of knowledge by turning other men's conjectures into dogmas. C. E. M. Joad (1891-1953) British author, academic Belief "One can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for a half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll (1832-1898) English writer, mathematician Belief The most positive men are the most credulous. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Belief Bella Figura See: Hypocrisy: Swift Let them cant about decorum Who have characters to lose. Robert Burns (1759-1796) Scottish poet Bella Figura Benefactors See: Altruism Death: Twain Good Deeds: Gay Philanthropy I love my fellow creatures - I do all the good I can - Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! William S. Gilbert (1836-1911) English librettist Benefactors Take Egotism out, and you would castrate the benefactors. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Benefactors We do not love people so much for the good they have done us, as for the good we have done them. Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) Russian novelist, philosopher Benefactors He who wishes to secure the good of others has already secured his own. Confucius (551-478 BC) Chinese sage Benefactors And learn the luxury of doing good. Oliver Goldsmith (1728-1774) Anglo-Irish author Benefactors Nobody shoots at Santa Claus. Governor AlSmith (1873-1944) American Democratic politician Benefactors Bestiality See: Drink: Johnson When someone behaves like a beast, he says: "After all, one is only human." But when he is treated like a beast, he says: "After all, one is human." Karl Kraus (1874-1936) Austrian poet, journalist Bestiality The Bible See: Censorship: Paget Faith: Emerson Intelligence: Russell The Bible is literature, not dogma. George Santayana (1863-1952) American philosopher, poet The Bible The Bible is for the Government of the People, by the People, and for the People. general prologue to the Wycliffe translation of the Bible, 1384 The Bible No public man in these islands ever believes that the Bible means what it says; he is always convinced that it says what he means. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic The Bible Both read the Bible day and night, But thou read'st black where I read white. William Blake (1757-1827) English poet, artist The Bible We must be on guard against giving interpretations of scripture that are far-fetched or opposed to science, and so exposing the word of God to the ridicule of unbelievers. Saint Augustine (354-430) theologian The Bible The pencil of the Holy Ghost hath laboured more in describing the afflictions of Job than the felicities of Solomon. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist The Bible Fear is the denomination of the Old Testament; belief is the denomination of the New. Benjamin Whichcote (1609-1683) Provost of King's College, Cambridge The Bible Prosperity is the Blessing of the Old Testament; adversity is the blessing of the New. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist The Bible It gives me a deep, comforting sense that "things seen are temporal and things unseen are eternal." Helen Keller (1880-1968) American author, lecturer The Bible I never had any doubt about it being of divine origin . . . point out to me any similar collection of writings that has lasted for as many thousands of years and is still a best-seller, world-wide. It had to be of divine origin. Ronald Reagan (b. 1911) American president The Bible Bigotry See: Faith: Emerson Bigotry tries to keep truth safe in its hand with a grip that kills it. Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941) Indian author, philosopher Bigotry Defoe says that there were a hundred thousand country fellows in his time ready to fight to the death against popery, without knowing whether popery was a man or a horse. William Hazlitt (1778-1830) English essayist Bigotry We call a man a bigot or a slave of dogma because he is a thinker who has thought thoroughly and to a definite end. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Bigotry I will look at any additional evidence to confirm the opinion to which I have already come. Hugh, Lord Molson (b. 1903) British politician Bigotry Bills Alas! how deeply painful is all payment! Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Bills It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Bills Biography See: Autobiography Dr. Johnson: Guardian One of the new terrors of death. John Arbuthnot (1667-1735) English writer, physician Biography A great American need not fear the hand of his assassin; his real demise begins only when a friend like Mr Sorensen closes the mouth of his tomb with a stone. Nigel Dennis (b. 1912) British author reviewing Kennedy by Theodore C. Sorensen Biography Every great man now has his disciples, and it is always Judas who writes the biography. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Biography Biography should be written by an acute enemy. Arthur James Balfour (1848-1930) British Conservative politician, prime minister Biography The first thing to be done by a biographer in estimating character is to examine the stubs of the victim's cheque-books. Silas W. Mitchell (1829-1914) American physician, author Biography Just how difficult it is to write biography can be reckoned by anybody who sits down and considers just how many people know the real truth about his or her love affairs. Rebecca West (1892-1983) British writer Biography A well-written Life is almost as rare as a well-spent one. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish writer Biography Read no history; nothing but biography, for that is life without theory. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Biography Biography is to give a man some kind of shape after his death. Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) British novelist Biography Biography is a region bounded on the north by history, on the south by fiction, on the east by obituary, and on the west by tedium. Philip Guedalla (1889-1944) British biographer, historian Biography Many heroes lived before Agamemnon; but all are unknown and unwept, extinguished in everlasting night, because they have no spirited chronicler. Horace (65-8 BC) Latin poet Biography You still shall live (such virtue hath my pen) Where breath most breathes, - even in the mouths of men. William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Biography Birth My mother groan'd, my father wept, Into the dangerous world I leapt. William Blake (1757-1827) English poet, artist Birth If new-borns could remember and speak, they would emerge from the womb carrying tales as wondrous as Homer's. Newsweek magazine Birth Birth Control No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body. No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother. Margaret Sanger (1883-1966) pioneer of American birth control movement Birth Control We want far better reasons for having children than not knowing how to prevent them. Dora Russell (1894-1986) British author, campaigner Birth Control Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions. Spike Milligan (b. 1918) British comedian, humorous writer Birth Control The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water: not before or after, but instead. Pakistani delegate at International Planned Parenthood Federation Conference Birth Control I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said "no." Woody Allen (b. 1935) American filmmaker Birth Control If Nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternately there would never be more than three in a family. Lawrence Housman (1865-1959) British actor, artist Birth Control Blindness O loss of sight, of thee I most complain! Blind among enemies! O worse than chains, Dungeon, or beggary, or decrepit age! Light, the prime work of God, to me is extinct, And all her various objects of delight Annulled, which might in part my grief have eased. Inferior to the vilest now become Of man or worm, the vilest here excel me: They creep, yet see; I, dark in light, exposed To daily fraud, contempt, abuse, and wrong, Within doors, or without, still as a fool, In power of others, never in my own - Scarce half I seem to live, dead more than half . . . John Milton (1608-1674) English poet Blindness But who would rush at a benighted man And give him two black eyes for being blind? Thomas Hood (1799-1845) English poet Blindness If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. Jesus (4 BC-29 AD) founder of Christianity Blindness The very limit of human blindness is to glory in being blind. Saint Augustine (354-430) theologian Blindness It is not miserable to be blind; it is miserable to be incapable of enduring blindness. John Milton (1608-1674) English poet Blindness Bloodsports When a man wantonly destroys one of the works of man we call him a vandal. When he destroys one of the works of God we call him a sportsman. Joseph Wood Krutch (1893-1970) American essayist Bloodsports Hunting was the labour of the savages of North America, but the amusement of the gentlemen of England. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Bloodsports It is the sport of kings, the image of war without its guilt, and only five-and-twenty percent of its danger. R. S. Surtees (1803-1864) English sporting novelist Bloodsports There is a passion for hunting something deep implanted in the human breast. Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English novelist Bloodsports It is chiefly through the instinct to kill that man achieves intimacy with the life of nature. Lord (Sir Kenneth) Clark (1903-1973) British critic Bloodsports One knows so well the popular idea of health. The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Bloodsports Women never look so well as when one comes in wet and dirty from hunting. R. S. Surtees (1803-1864) English sporting novelist Bloodsports It is very strange, and very melancholy, that the paucity of human pleasures should persuade us ever to call hunting one of them. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Bloodsports When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Bloodsports The birds seem to consider the muzzle of my gun as their safest position. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Bloodsports A gun gives you the body, not the bird. Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American philosopher, author, naturalist Bloodsports Bloody-mindedness A state of mind halfway between anger and cruelty. George Younger (b. 1931) Scottish Conservative politician Bloody-mindedness Why be disagreeable, when with a little effort you can be impossible? Douglas Woodruff (1897-1978) British journalist, author Bloody-mindedness Some folks are so contrary that if they fell in a river, they'd insist on floating upstream. Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist Bloody-mindedness Well, if I called the wrong number why did you answer the phone? James Thurber (1894-1961) American humorist, illustrator Bloody-mindedness The Blues See: Jazz Sweet bird, that shunn'st the noise of folly, Most musical, most melancholy. John Milton (1608-1674) English poet The Blues I've been told that nobody sings the word 'hunger' like I do. Billie Holiday (1915-1959) American jazz singer The Blues Anybody singing the blues is in a deep pit yelling for help. Mahalia Jackson (1911-1972) American blues and gospel singer The Blues It is only in his music, which Americans are able to admire because a protective sentimentality limits their understanding of it, that the Negro in America has been able to tell his story. James Baldwin (1924-1987) American novelist The Blues The blues was like that problem child that you may have had in the family. You was a little bit ashamed to let anybody see him, but you loved him. You just didn't know how other people would take it. B. B. King (b. 1925) American blues guitarist The Blues Bohemia I'd like to live like a poor man with lots of money. Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Spanish artist Bohemia The true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother drudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art. Tanner, Man and Superman George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Bohemia Books See: Censorship: Milton Learning: Shenstone Literature Reading Writing: Whitman Immortal sons deifying their sires. Plato (428-347 BC) Greek philosopher Books If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, writer Books O, let my books be then the eloquence And dumb presagers of my speaking breast. William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Books Here, my dear Lucy, hide these books. Quick, quick. Fling Peregrine Pickle under the toilet - throw Roderick Random into the closet - put The Innocent Adultery into The Whole Duty of Man . . . and leave Fordyce's Sermons open on the table. Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751-1816) Anglo-Irish dramatist Books A man's library is a sort of harem. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Books A room without books is as a body without a soul. Sir John Lubbock, Lord Avebury (1834-1915) British banker, scientist, author Books No furniture is as charming as books, even if you never open them. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Books A book that is shut is but a block. Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English physician Books From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comic actor Books Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist Books The oldest books are only just out to those who have not read them. Samuel Butler (1835-1902) English author Books Every condensation of a good book is a foolish mutilation. Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) French essayist, moralist Books It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead. Rose Macaulay (1889-1958) British novelist, essayist Books Books are good enough in their own way, but they are a mighty bloodless substitute for life. Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) Scottish novelist, essayist, poet Books What is written is merely the dregs of experience. Franz Kafka (1883-1924) German novelist, short story writer Books Books are fatal: they are the curse of the human race. Nine-tenths of existing books are nonsense, and the clever books are the refutation of that nonsense. The greatest misfortune that ever befell man was the invention of printing. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Books What do we, as a nation, care about books? How much do you think we spend altogether on our libraries, public or private, as compared with what we spend on our horses? John Ruskin (1819-1900) English critic Books A good book is the best of friends, the same today as forever. Martin Tupper (1810-1889) English author, poet, inventor Books Everywhere I have sought rest and not found it, except sitting in a corner by myself with a little book. Thomas a Kempis (1380-1471) German monk, mystic Books Books and marriage go ill together. Moliere (1622-1673) French playwright Books Without books God is silent. Thomas Bartholin (1616-1680) Danish physician Books Boredom See: Ennui Boredom is . . . a vital consideration for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it. Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) British philosopher, mathematician, social reformer Boredom No society seems ever to have succumbed to boredom. Man has developed an obvious capacity for surviving the pompous reiteration of the commonplace. John Kenneth Galbraith (b. 1908) American economist Boredom Only the finest and most active animals are capable of boredom. A subject for a great poet - God's boredom on the seventh day of creation. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher Boredom A yawn is a silent shout. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Boredom Bores See: Anecdotes: La Rochefoucauld Conversation: La Rochefoucauld Dullness Fanatics: Churchill Heroes: Emerson Bore. A person who talks when you wish him to listen. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Bores A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you. Bert Leston Taylor (1866-1921) American humorist, pioneer newspaper columnist Bores I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth, Action, nor utterance, nor the power of speech To stir men's blood; I only speak right on. Mark Antony, Julius Caesar William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Bores A bore is a man who spends so much time talking about himself that you can't talk about yourself. Melville D. Landon (1839-1910) American lecturer, wit Bores And 'tis remarkable that they Talk most who have the least to say. Matthew Prior (1664-1721) English poet, diplomat Bores The age of chivalry is past. Bores have succeeded to dragons. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Bores Society is now one polished horde, Formed of two mighty tribes, the Bores and Bored. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Bores A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. John Updike (b. 1932) American author Bores You must be careful about giving any drink whatsoever to a bore. A lit-up bore is the worst in the world. Lord David Cecil (1902-1986) British biographer, essayist Bores Make not thy own person, family, relations or affairs the frequent subject of thy tattle. Say not, My manner and custom is to do thus. I neither eat nor drink in a morning. I am apt to be troubled with corns. My child said such a witty thing last night. Thomas Fuller (1608-1661) English cleric Bores If you are a bore, strive to be a rascal also so that you may not discredit virtue. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Bores Borrowing The human species, according to the best theory I can form of it, is composed of two distinct races, the men who borrow, and the men who lend. Charles Lamb (1775-1834) English essayist, critic Borrowing Do not be made a beggar by banqueting upon borrowing. Apocrypha, Ecclesiasticus Borrowing The Bourgeoisie See: The English: Thackeray And the wind shall say "Here were decent godless people; Their only monument the asphalt road And a thousand lost golf balls." T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) Anglo-American poet The Bourgeoisie The bourgeoisie of the whole world, which looks complacently upon the wholesale massacre after the battle, is convulsed by horror at the desecration of brick and mortar. Karl Marx (1818-1883) German social philosopher, revolutionary The Bourgeoisie How beastly the bourgeois is especially the male of the species - presentable, eminently presentable. D. H. Lawrence (1885-1930) English author The Bourgeoisie The bourgeoisie prefers comfort to pleasure, convenience to liberty, and a pleasant temperature to the deathly inner consuming fire. Hermann Hesse (1877-1962) German novelist, poet The Bourgeoisie The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation. Vladimir Ilyich Lenin (1870-1924) Russian revolutionary leader The Bourgeoisie Destroy him as you will, the bourgeois always bounces up. Execute him, expropriate him, starve him out en masse, and he reappears in your children. Cyril Connolly (1903-1974) British critic The Bourgeoisie Boys See: Adolescence: Hawkins I never see any difference in boys. I only know two sorts of boys. Mealy boys and beef-faced boys. Mr. Grimwig, Oliver Twist Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English novelist Boys I have seen thousands of boys and young men, narrow-chested, hunched-up, miserable specimens, smoking endless cigarettes, many of them betting. Sir Robert, Lord Baden-Powell (1857-1941) British soldier explaining reasons for foundation of Boy Scouts Association, 1907 Boys The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forbearance among men. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Boys All my life I have loved a womanly woman and admired a manly man, but I never could stand a boily boy. Lord Rosebery (1847-1929) British Liberal politician, prime minister Boys Boys are capital fellows in their own way, among their mates; but they are unwholesome companions for grown people. Charles Lamb (1775-1834) English essayist, critic Boys Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. Kin (F. McKinney) Hubbard (1868-1930) American humorist, journalist Boys The British See: Drink: Smith The English The Scots Snobbery: Sampson Wales: Thomas What annoys me about Britain is the rugged will to lose. William Camp (b. 1926) British author, communications consultant The British An Englishman is never happy unless he is miserable; a Scotsman is never at home but when he is abroad; an Irishman is never at peace but when he's fighting. anonymous, 19th century The British We always used to be noted for understatement. The difference is that in the past we never meant it. Sir William, Lord Penney (b. 1909) British scientist The British The British are a self-distrustful, diffident people, agreeing with alacrity that they are neither successful, nor clever and only modestly claiming that they have a keener sense of humour, more robust common sense, and greater staying power as a nation than all the rest of the world put together. the London Times, 1950 The British That detached and baronial air of superiority the Briton habitually affects when circumstances beyond his control bring him into the presence of creatures of a lesser breed. Pierre Van Paassen (1895-1968) American author, journalist, minister The British The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters. Robert Morley (b. 1908) British actor, wit The British Gorgonised me from head to foot with a stony British stare. Lord Tennyson (1809-1892) English poet The British It is equality of monotony which makes the strength of the British Isles. Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) American columnist, lecturer, U.S. delegate at United Nations The British Very few people indeed realise how early the British go to bed. the London Times The British The national anthem belongs to the eighteenth century. In it you find us ordering God about to do our political dirty work. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic The British I always enjoy appearing before a British audience. Even if they don't feel like laughing, they nod their heads to show they've understood. Bob Hope (b. 1903) American comedian The British What right have the Americans to be forecasting our weather? letter to the London Times The British Bureaucracy See: Revolution: Kafka The State: Russell Our greatest growth industry is the Civil Service. Lord Lucas (1896-1967) British public figure Bureaucracy This place needs a laxative. Bob Geldof (b. 1954) Irish rock musician of EEC bureaucracy Bureaucracy The working of great institutions is mainly the result of a vast mass of routine, petty malice, self-interest, carelessness and sheer mistake. Only a residual fraction is thought. George Santayana (1863-1952) American philosopher, poet Bureaucracy Poor fellow, he suffers from files. Aneurin Bevan (1897-1960) British Labour politician of Sir Walter Citrine Bureaucracy Official dignity tends to increase in inverse ratio to the importance of the country in which the office is held. Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) English author Bureaucracy The longer the title, the less important the job. George McGovern (b. 1922) American Democratic politician Bureaucracy There is something about a bureaucrat that does not like a poem. Gore Vidal (b. 1925) American novelist, critic Bureaucracy Business See: America: Coolidge Bargaining: Dickens Dinner Parties: Stowell Management Partnership: Carnegie; Wrigley Jr. Private Interest: Pitt Propaganda: Cassandra Resolve: Livy Retirement: Goodhart Teachers: Leacock Wealth: Burke Nothing knits man to man like the frequent passage from hand to hand of cash. Walter Sickert (1860-1942) British artist Business Commerce is the great civilizer. We exchange ideas when we exchange fabrics. Ralph G. Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer Business The propensity to truck, barter and exchange one thing for another . . . is common to all men, and to be found in no other race of animals. Adam Smith (1723-1790) Scottish economist Business Everyone lives by selling something. Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) Scottish novelist, essayist, poet Business If I see something I like, I buy it; then I try to sell it. Lord Grade (b. 1906) British film and TV entrepreneur Business The selfish spirit of commerce knows no country, and feels no passion or principle but that of gain. Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) American president Business No nation was ever ruined by trade. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, writer Business What's good for the country is good for General Motors, and what's good for General Motors is good for the country. Charles Wilson (1890-1961) American industrialist, Secretary of Defense Business Free enterprise ended in the United States a good many years ago. Big oil, big steel, big agriculture avoid the open marketplace. Big corporations fix prices among themselves and drive out the small entrepreneur. In their conglomerate forms, the huge corporations have begun to challenge the legitimacy of the state. Gore Vidal (b. 1925) American novelist, critic Business For the merchant, even honesty is a financial speculation. Charles Baudelaire (1821-1867) French poet Business Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it. Andrew Young (b. 1932) American politician Business You never expected justice from a company, did you? They have neither a soul to lose, nor a body to kick. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Business Honour sinks where commerce long prevails. Oliver Goldsmith (1728-1774) Anglo-Irish author Business When you are skinning your customers you should leave some skin on to grow again so that you can skin them again. Nikita Khrushchev (1894-1971) Soviet premier advice to British businessmen Business Every crowd has a silver lining. Phineas T. Barnum (1810-1891) American showman Business Half the time when men think they are talking business they are wasting time. Ed (E. W.) Howe (1853-1937) American journalist, novelist Business There's no such thing as a free lunch. Milton Friedman (b. 1912) American economist Business Giv'um's dead, and Lend'um's very bad. Nothink for nothink 'ere, and precious little for sixpence! Punch magazine Business I have always felt that our businessmen, if they had been left to themselves to make a religion, would have turned out something uncommonly like Juju. Mary Kingsley (1862-1900) British traveler, writer Business Busts See: Dress: Gregory Ladies: Dickens Uncorsetted, her friendly bust Gives promise of pneumatic bliss. T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) Anglo-American poet Busts Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater. Bette Davis (1908-1989) American film actress of Jayne Mansfield Busts There are two good reasons why men go to see her. Those are enough. Howard Hughes (1905-1976) American businessman, film producer of Jane Russell Busts Lord Byron See: England: Byron Lord Byron is only great as a poet; as soon as he reflects, he is a child. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, dramatist, novelist, scientist Lord Byron The temptation, never easily resisted by him, of displaying his wit at the expense of his character. Thomas Moore (1779-1852) Irish poet Lord Byron Mad, bad, and dangerous to know. Lady Caroline Lamb (1785-1828) society figure, lover of Byron entry in journal following their first meeting Lord Byron In his endeavours to corrupt my mind he has sought to make me smile first at Vice, saying "There is nothing to which a woman may not be reconciled by repetition or familiarity." There is no Vice with which he has not endeavoured in this manner to familiarize me. Annabella Milbanke, Lady Byron (1792-1860) Lord Byron I have not loved the world, nor the world me; I have not flatter'd its rank breath, nor bow'd To its idolatries a patient knee. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Lord Byron Capital Punishment See: Trials: Pope It is sweet to dance to violins When love and life are fair: To dance to flutes, to dance to lutes Is delicate and rare; But it is not so sweet with nimble feet To dance upon the air. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Capital Punishment I went out to Charing Cross to see Major-General Harrison hanged, drawn and quartered; which was done there, he looking as cheerful as any man could do in that condition. Samuel Pepys (1633-1703) English diarist Capital Punishment If the Court sentences the blighter to hang, then the blighter will hang. General Zia ul-Haq (1924-1988) President of Pakistan of the death sentence imposed on former President of Pakistan Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto, 1979 Capital Punishment The highest and ultimate instrument of political power is capital punishment. Philip Melanchthon (1497-1560) German scholar, humanist Capital Punishment If we are to abolish the death penalty, I should like to see the first step taken by my friends the murderers. Alphonse Karr (1808-1890) French journalist, novelist Capital Punishment Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage. Feste, Twelfth Night William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Capital Punishment Capitalism See: Economics: Galbraith Fascism: Sinclair Inflation: Keynes Socialism: Mencken We are too mealy-mouthed. We fear the word "capitalism" is unpopular. So we talk about the "free enterprise" system and run to cover in the folds of the flag and talk about the American way of life. Eric A. Johnston (1896-1963) American entrepreneur Capitalism It is a socialist idea that making profits is a vice; I consider the real vice is making losses. Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British statesman, writer Capitalism The decadent international but individualistic capitalism in the hands of which we found ourselves after the war is not a success. It is not intelligent. It is not beautiful. It is not just. It is not virtuous. And it doesn't deliver the goods. John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946) English economist in 1933 Capitalism The forces in a capitalist society, if left unchecked, tend to make the rich richer and the poor poorer. Jawaharlal Nehru (1889-1964) Indian prime minister Capitalism Capitalists are no more capable of self-sacrifice than a man is capable of lifting himself up by his bootstraps. Vladimir Ilyich Lenin (1870-1924) Russian revolutionary leader Capitalism Capitalism inevitably and by virtue of the very logic of its civilization creates, educates and subsidizes a vested interest in social unrest. J. A. Schumpeter (1883-1950) American economist, socialist Capitalism Advocates of capitalism are very apt to appeal to the sacred principles of liberty, which are embodied in one maxim: The fortunate must not be restrained in the exercise of tyranny over the unfortunate. Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) British philosopher, mathematician, social reformer Capitalism History suggests that capitalism is a necessary condition for political freedom. Clearly it is not a sufficient condition. Milton Friedman (b. 1912) American economist Capitalism Cards See: Swindles: Smith I am sorry I have not learned to play at cards. It is very useful in life: it generates kindness and consolidates society. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Cards Is is very wonderful to see persons of the best sense passing away a dozen hours together in shuffling and dividing a pack of cards, with no other conversation but what is made up of a few game phrases, and no other ideas but those of black or red spots ranged together in different figures. Joseph Addison (1672-1719) English essayist Cards A man's idea in a card game is war - cool, devastating and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary. Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936) American journalist, humorist Cards Careers See: Work: Emerson The best careers advice to give to the young is "Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it." Katharine Whitehorn (b. 1926) British journalist Careers Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. Wilson Mizner (1876-1933) American dramatist, wit Careers His was the sort of career that made the Recording Angel think seriously about taking up shorthand. Nicolas Bentley (1907-1978) British artist, author, publisher Careers I have found some of the best reasons I ever had for remaining at the bottom simply by looking at the men at the top. F. M. Colby (1865-1925) American editor, essayist Careers Caricature Caricature is the tribute that mediocrity pays to genius. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Caricature Cars See: Women: White No other man-made device since the shields and lances of the ancient knights fulfils a man's ego like an automobile. Sir William, Lord Rootes (1894-1964) British automobile manufacturer Cars A noisy exhaust almost amounts to a mating call. J. A. Leavy (b. 1915) British businessman, Conservative politician Cars There is no class of person more moved by hate than the motorist. C. R. Hewitt, C. H. Rolphe (b. 1901) British author, journalist Cars I think that cars today are almost the exact equivalent of the great Gothic cathedrals: I mean the supreme creation of an era, conceived with passion by unknown artists, and consumed in image if not in usage by a whole population which appropriates them as a purely magical object. Roland Barthes (1915-1980) French academic Cars I don't even like old cars . . . I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake. J. D. Salinger (b. 1919) American author Cars Catholicism See: Church of England: Steele Faith: Gide The Pope A little skill in antiquity inclines a man to Popery. Thomas Fuller (1608-1661) English cleric Catholicism She [the Catholic Church] thoroughly understands what no other Church has ever understood, how to deal with enthusiasts. Thomas Babington Macaulay (1800-1859) English historian Catholicism Good, strong, thick, stupefying incense-smoke. Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet Catholicism Here is everything which can lay hold of the eye, ear and imagination - everything which can charm and bewitch the simple and ignorant. I wonder how Luther ever broke the spell. John Adams (1735-1826) American statesman, president Catholicism The Pope is barely Catholic enough for some converts. John Ayscough (1858-1928) British priest, novelist, essayist Catholicism The priest is always fascinating to an adulterous generation because they think he knows more ways of committing adultery than anybody else. It's logical. He deals in sin as much as a dustman deals in garbage. Aubrey Menen (b. 1912) British novelist, essayist Catholicism I don't like your way of conditioning and contracting with the saints. Do this and I'll do that! Here's one for t'other. Save me and I'll give you a taper or go on a pilgrimage. Erasmus (1466-1536) Dutch humanist Catholicism Outside of the Catholic church everything may be had except salvation. Saint Augustine (354-430) theologian Catholicism All human life is here, but the Holy Ghost seems to be somewhere else. Anthony Burgess (b. 1917) British author of the Vatican Catholicism You can't run the Church on Hail Marys. Archbishop Paul Marcinkus (b. 1922) American ecclesiastic, Vatican financier Catholicism Caution See: Economizing: Publilius Syrus Set the foot down with distrust on the crust of the world - it is thin. Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892-1950) American poet Caution In skating over thin ice, our safety is in our speed. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Caution Now, gentlemen, we have got our harpoon into the monster, but we must still take uncommon care, or else by a single flop of his tail he will send us all to eternity. Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) American president Caution If we shake hands with icy fingers it is because we have burnt them so horribly before. Logan Pearsall Smith (1865-1946) Anglo-American essayist Caution An appearance of carelessness is vital in true caution. R. H. Benson (1871-1914) British novelist Caution Put all thine eggs in one basket and - watch that basket. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Caution He that leaveth nothing to chance will do few things ill, but he will do very few things. Sir George Savile, Lord Halifax (1633-1695) English statesman, author Caution Caution has its place, no doubt, but we cannot refuse our support to a serious venture which challenges the whole of the personality. If we oppose it, we are trying to suppress what is best in man - his daring and his aspirations. And should we succeed, we should only have stood in the way of that invaluable experience which might have given a meaning to life. What would have happened if Paul had allowed himself to be talked out of his journey to Damascus? Carl Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist Caution Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best. Chinese proverb Caution Censorship See: Fashion: Hellman Art made tongue-tied by authority. William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Censorship Those expressions are omitted which can not with propriety be read aloud in the family. Dr. Thomas Bowdler (1754-1825) English editor, expurgator Censorship Fear of corrupting the mind of the younger generation is the loftiest form of cowardice. Holbrook Jackson (1874-1948) British writer Censorship I know of no book which has been a source of brutality and sadistic conduct, both public and private, that can compare with the Bible. Lord Paget (b. 1908) British Labour politician Censorship Who kills a man kills a reasonable creature, God's image; but he who destroys a good book, kills reason itself, kills the image of God, as it were in the eye. John Milton (1608-1674) English poet Censorship Censorship is like an appendix. When inert, it is useless; when active it is extremely dangerous. Maurice Edelman (1911-1975) British Labour politician Censorship Censorship is the commonest social blasphemy because it is mostly concealed, built into us by indolence, self-interest, and cowardice. John Osborne (b. 1929) British playwright Censorship Did you ever hear anyone say "That work had better be banned because I might read it and it might be very damaging to me"? Joseph Henry Jackson (1894-1955) American critic, travel-writer Censorship Every burned book enlightens the world. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Censorship If we can't stamp out literature in the country, we can at least stop it being brought in from outside. Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966) British novelist Censorship I am confident, of course, knowing that I shall fulfill my tasks as a writer in any circumstances, and from my grave even more successfully and incontestably than when I live. No one can bar truth's course, and for its progress I am prepared to accept even death. But perhaps repeated lessons will teach us, at least, not to arrest a writer's pen during his lifetime. Alexander Solzhenitsyn (b. 1918) Russian novelist Censorship They who have put out the people's eyes reproach them of their blindness. John Milton (1608-1674) English poet Censorship The artist and the censor differ in this wise: that the first is a decent mind in an indecent body and that the second is an indecent mind in a decent body. George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) American critic Censorship He who discommendeth others obliquely commendeth himself. Sir Thomas Browne (1605-1682) English physician, author Censorship They can't censor the gleam in my eye. Charles Laughton (1899-1962) British actor Censorship I believe in censorship. After all, I made a fortune out of it. Mae West (1892-1980) American film actress Censorship This film is apparently meaningless, but if it has any meaning it is doubtless objectionable. British Board of Film Censors banning Cocteau's The Seashell and the Clergyman, 1956 Censorship Ceremony See: America: Waugh Some people think that whatever is done solemnly must make sense. G. C. Lichtenberg (1742-1799) German physicist, writer Ceremony Ceremony is the smoke of friendship. Chinese proverb Ceremony It is superstition to put one's hopes in formalities; but it is pride to be unwilling to submit to them. Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) French scientist, philosopher Ceremony Certainty See: Belief: Junius The Public: Mencken Self-confidence: Melbourne The fundamental cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) British philosopher, mathematician, social reformer Certainty The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. William Butler Yeats (1865-1939) Anglo-Irish poet, playwright Certainty Ah, what a dusty answer gets the soul When hot for certainties in this our life! George Meredith (1828-1909) English author Certainty We are not certain, we are never certain. If we were we could reach some conclusions, and we could, at last, make others take us seriously. Albert Camus (1913-1960) French writer Certainty If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts, but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist Certainty I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections, and the truth of imagination. John Keats (1795-1821) English poet Certainty In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, writer Certainty The only certainty is that nothing is certain. Pliny the Elder (23-79) Roman scholar Certainty It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull. H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist Certainty Change See: Conservatives: Falkland Let the great world spin for ever down the ringing grooves of change. Lord Tennyson (1809-1892) English poet Change When our first parents were driven out of Paradise, Adam is believed to have remarked to Eve: "My dear, we live in an age of transition." W. R. Inge (1860-1954) Dean of St. Paul's, London Change One change leaves the way open for the introduction of others. Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527) Italian political philosopher Change For good and evil, man is a free creative spirit. This produces the very queer world we live in, a world in continuous creation and therefore continuous change and insecurity. Joyce Cary (1888-1957) British novelist Change Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Change Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better. Richard Hooker (1554-1600) English theologian Change There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I have found in traveling in a stage-coach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position and be bruised in a new place. Washington Irving (1783-1859) American author Change A living thing is distinguished from a dead thing by the multiplicity of the changes at any moment taking place in it. Herbert Spencer (1820-1903) English philosopher Change All things change, nothing is extinguished. Ovid (43 BC-17 AD) Latin poet Change Chaos See: War: Pope There is nothing stable in the world; uproar's your only music. John Keats (1795-1821) English poet Chaos Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit. Henry B. Adams (1838-1918) American historian Chaos Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not understood. Henry Miller (1891-1980) American author Chaos In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order. Carl Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist Chaos Character See: Reputation: Paine; Hubbard Society: Emerson Solitude: Stendhal Character is what you are in the dark. Dwight Moody (1837-1899) American evangelist Character Before you advise anyone "Be yourself!" reassess his character. anonymous Character Every man has three characters: that which he shows, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has. Alphonse Karr (1808-1890) French journalist, novelist Character Men will often say that they have "found themselves" when they have really been worn down into a groove by the brutal and compulsive force of circumstance. Thomas Wolfe (1900-1938) American author Character Es bildet ein Talent sich in der Stille, Sich ein Charakter in dem Strom der Welt. Talent develops in tranquillity, character in the full current of human life. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, dramatist, novelist, scientist Character The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out. Lord Macaulay (1800-1859) English historian Character Character - the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life - is the source from which self-respect springs. Joan Didion (b. 1934) American writer Character We must have a weak spot or two in a character before we can love it much. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) American writer, physician Character In me the tiger sniffs the rose. Siegfried Sassoon (1886-1967) British poet, author Character The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know. Kin (F. McKinney) Hubbard (1868-1930) American humorist, journalist Character People always say that they are not themselves when tempted by anger into betraying what they really are. Ed (E. W.) Howe (1853-1937) American journalist, novelist Character You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans. Ronald Reagan (b. 1911) American president Character Charity See: Aid Altruism: Blake Benefactors: Confucius Intentions: Thatcher Landlords: Pollok I did give ten shillings and no more, though I believe most of the rest did give more, and did believe that I did so too. Samuel Pepys (1633-1703) English diarist Charity In necessary things, unity; in disputed things, liberty; in all things, charity. variously ascribed Charity God loveth a cheerful giver. Saint Paul (3-67) Apostle to the Gentiles Charity The most difficult part is to give. Then why not add a smile? Jean de la Bruyere (1645-1696) French writer, moralist Charity Beggars should be abolished. It annoys one to give to them, and it annoys one not to give to them. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher Charity A man who sees another man on the street corner with only a stump for an arm will be so shocked the first time he'll give him sixpence. But the second time it'll only be a threepenny bit. And if he sees him a third time, he'll have him cold-bloodedly handed over to the police. Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956) German dramatist, poet The Threepenny Opera trans. Desmond I. Vesey and Eric Bentley Charity We do not quite forgive a giver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Charity In your Salvation shelter I saw poverty, misery, cold, and hunger. You gave them bread and treacle and dreams of heaven. I give from thirty shillings a week to twelve thousand a year. They find their own dreams; but I look after the drainage. Undershaft, Major Barbara George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Charity The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted. Mother Teresa (b. 1911) Albanian Catholic missionary Charity The cliche "charity begins at home" has done more damage than any other in the English tongue. Bishop Trevor Huddleston (b. 1913) British clergyman, campaigner Charity The organised charity, scrimped and iced, In the name of a cautious, statistical Christ. John Boyle O'Reilly (1844-1890) Irish author Charity Charity is the sterilized milk of human kindness. Oliver Herford (1863-1935) American poet, illustrator Charity Charity is injurious unless it helps the recipient to become independent of it. John D. Rockefeller (1839-1937) American industrialist, philanthropist Charity Charity creates a multitude of sins. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Charity If begging should unfortunately be thy lot, knock at the large gates only. Arabian proverb Charity He that feeds upon charity has a cold dinner and no supper. Thomas Fuller (1608-1661) English cleric Charity Charm See: The Scots: Barrie "Charm" - which means the power to effect work without employing brute force - is indispensable to women. Charm is a woman's strength just as strength is a man's charm. Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) British psychologist, author Charm It's a sort of bloom on a woman. If you have it, you don't need to have anything else; and if you don't have it, it doesn't much matter what else you have. James M. Barrie (1860-1937) British playwright Charm Charming women can true converts make. We love the precepts for the teacher's sake. George Farquhar (1678-1707) Irish dramatist Charm She lacks the indefinable charm of weakness. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Charm Men get to be a mixture of the charming mannerisms of the women they have known. F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940) American author Charm You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question. Albert Camus (1913-1960) French writer Charm I am bewitched with the rogue's company: if the rascal have not given me medicines to make me love him, I'll be hanged. Falstaff, King Henry IV part I William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Charm All charming people, I fancy, are spoiled. It is the secret of their attraction. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Charm Chastity See: Lust: Shaw Of all sexual aberrations, perhaps the most peculiar is chastity. Remy de Gourmont (1858-1915) French critic, novelist Chastity A woman's chastity consists, like an onion, of a series of coats. Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864) American novelist Chastity How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet Chastity There are few virtuous women who are not bored with their trade. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Chastity There, it is true, are abstinent; but from all that they do the bitch of sensuality looks out with envious eyes. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher Chastity Your old virginity is like one of our French withered pears; it looks ill, it eats drily. Parolles, All's Well That Ends Well William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Chastity An unattempted woman cannot boast of her chastity. Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) French essayist, moralist Chastity It is fatally easy for Western folk, who have discarded chastity as a value for themselves, to suppose that it can have no value for anyone else. At the same time as Californians try to re-invent "celibacy," by which they seem to mean perverse restraint, the rest of us call societies which place a high value on chastity "backward." Germaine Greer (b. 1939) Australian feminist writer Chastity Only the English and the Americans are improper. East of Suez everyone wants a virgin. Barbara Cartland (b. 1901) British novelist Chastity A chaste woman ought not to dye her hair yellow. Menander (c. 342-c. 291 BC) Greek playwright Chastity Chess The chess-board is the world; the pieces are the phenomena of the universe; the rules of the game are what we call the laws of Nature. The player on the other side is hidden from us. We know that his play is always fair, just, and patient. But also we know, to our cost, that he never overlooks a mistake, or makes the smallest allowance for ignorance. Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-1895) English biologist Chess I am still a victim of chess. It has all the beauty of art - and much more. It cannot be commercialized. Chess is much purer than art in its social position. Marcel Duchamp (1887-1968) French artist, Dadaist recalling his decision in the 1920s to give up art for chess Chess Life's too short for chess. Henry J. Byron (1834-1884) English dramatist Chess Childhood That great cathedral space which was childhood. Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) British novelist Childhood What is childhood but a series of happy delusions. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Childhood All our adventures were by the fireside, and all our migrations from the blue bed to the brown. Oliver Goldsmith (1728-1774) Anglo-Irish author Childhood Heaven lies about us in our infancy! William Wordsworth (1770-1850) English poet Childhood The world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Childhood Children See: Dancing: Coleridge Education: Montessori Father: Hemingway; Russell God: Steinem Happiness: Szasz Knowledge: Saki Maturity: Szasz Parents: Emerson; Shaw; Wilde; Brown Youth is a wonderful thing; what a crime to waste it on children. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Children Alas, regardless of their doom, The little victims play! No sense have they of ills to come, Nor care beyond to-day. Thomas Gray (1716-1771) English poet Children When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell. That is why we dread children, even if we love them. They show us the state of our decay. Brian Aldiss (b. 1925) British author Children If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, dramatist, novelist, scientist Children Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his. Ed (E. W.) Howe (1853-1937) American journalist, novelist Children There is little use to talk about your child to anyone; other people either have one or haven't. Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, writer, artist Children The parent who could see his boy as he really is would shake his head and say; "Willy is no good: I'll sell him." Stephen Leacock (1869-1944) Canadian humorist, economist Children There is no sinner like a young saint. Aphra Behn (1640-1689) English playwright, poet Children We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; and we have done those things which we ought not to have done. Book of Common Prayer Children Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester (1647-1680) English courtier, poet Children To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist Children Telling lies and showing off to get attention are the mistakes I made that I don't want my kids to make. Jane Fonda (b. 1937) American film actress Children Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children. William Penn (1644-1718) religious leader, founder of Pennsylvania Children Children are all foreigners. We treat them as such. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Children Oh, grown-ups cannot understand, And grown-ups never will, How short the way to fairyland Across the purple hill. Alfred Noyes (1880-1958) British author Children Ignorance is a painless evil; so, I should think, is dirt, considering the merry faces that go along with it. George Eliot (1819-1880) English novelist Children Girls like to be played with, and rumpled a little, too, sometimes. Oliver Goldsmith (1728-1774) Anglo-Irish author Children What money is better bestowed than that of a schoolboy's tip? William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863) English author Children There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick. Kin (F. McKinney) Hubbard (1868-1930) American humorist, journalist Children He followed in his father's footsteps, but his gait was somewhat erratic. Nicolas Bentley (1907-1978) British artist, author, publisher Children Children suck the mother when they are young and the father when they are old. English proverb Children How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is To have a thankless child. Lear, King Lear William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Children There are three degrees of filial piety. The highest is being a credit to our parents, the second is not disgracing them; the lowest is being able simply to support them. Confucius (551-478 BC) Chinese sage Children I am assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Children Chivalry See: Bores: Disraeli I thought that ten thousand swords would have leaped from their scabbards to avenge even a look that threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone. That of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman of Marie Antoinette Chivalry The age of chivalry is never past, so long as there is a wrong left unredressed on earth. Charles Kingsley (1819-1875) English author, clergyman Chivalry Christianity See: Catholicism The Church Death: Ouida God The Jews: Shaw Sects: Farquhar; Tertullian Who is the father of the Babe, fair maid? No, no, thou needst not answer; an Angel came to thee in a dream; it is enough, say no more. To thee and thy love child bring gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh, to thee and thy Babe we bend the knee. Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) American author Christianity He was the Word, that spake it; He took the bread and brake it; And what that Word did make it, I do believe and take it. John Donne (1572-1631) English divine, metaphysical poet Christianity The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) British psychologist, author Christianity The idea of Christ is much older than Christianity. George Santayana (1863-1952) American philosopher, poet Christianity What if men take the following where He leads, Weary of mumbling Athanasian creeds? Roden Noel (1834-1894) English poet Christianity Christianity taught men that love is worth more than intelligence. Jacques Maritain (1882-1973) French philosopher Christianity The doctrine of the Kingdom of Heaven, which was the main teaching of Jesus, is certainly one of the most revolutionary doctrines that ever stirred and changed human thought. H. G. Wells (1866-1946) English author, social thinker Christianity No sooner had Jesus knocked over the dragon of superstition than Paul boldly set it on its legs again in the name of Jesus. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Christianity He who begins by loving Christianity better than Truth will proceed by loving his own sect or church better than Christianity, and end in loving himself better than all. Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834) English poet Christianity Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Christianity To make one a complete Christian he must have the works of a Papist, the words of a Puritan, and the faith of a Protestant. James Howell (1594-1666) English diplomat, writer Christianity Scratch the Christian and you find the pagan - spoiled. Israel Zangwill (1864-1926) British writer Christianity The early Christian rules of life were not made to last, because the early Christians did not believe that the world itself was going to last. Hotchkiss, Getting Married George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Christianity Most people believe that the Christian commandments are intentionally a little too severe - like setting a clock half an hour ahead to make sure of not being late in the morning. Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855) Danish philosopher Christianity The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not be found out. George Whyte-Melville (1821-1878) Scottish author Christianity The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Christianity Bear the Cross cheerfully and it will bear you. Thomas a Kempis (1380-1471) German monk, mystic Christianity "One loving soul," says St Augustine, "sets another on fire." Christianity can sometimes be caught no less than taught. Arnold Lunn (1888-1974) British author Christianity I reject Christianity because it is Jewish, because it is international and because, in cowardly fashion, it preaches Peace on Earth. Field-Marshal Erich von Ludendorff (1865-1937) German chief-of-staff Christianity Christianity broke the heart of the world and mended it. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Christianity Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher Christianity The fear of hell, or aiming to be blest, Savours too much of private interest. Edmund Waller (1606-1687) English poet Christianity The Three in One, the One in Three? Not so! To my own Gods I go. It may be they shall give me greater ease Than your cold Christ and tangled Trinities. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author Christianity People in general are equally horrified at hearing the Christian religion doubted, and at seeing it practised. Samuel Butler (1835-1902) English author Christianity Kill them all, God will know his own! Arnold of Citeaux Papal Legate at the siege of Beziers, 1209, in the Albigensian Crusade Christianity The word is my crucifix. motto of the Carthusian Order Christianity The cross has been carried forward on the hilt of the sword. E. M. Macdonald (1865-1940) Canadian statesman Christianity Thou has conquered, O pale Galilean. A. C. Swinburne (1837-1909) English poet, critic Christianity Christmas There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas. Robert Lynd (1879-1949) Anglo-Irish essayist, journalist Christmas The Church See: Catholicism Christianity Church of England Heresy: Chesterton Marriage: Baudelaire Poverty: Sheen He cannot have God for his father who refuses to have the church for his mother. Saint Augustine (354-430) theologian The Church And of all plagues with which mankind are curst, Ecclesiastic tyranny's the worst. Daniel Defoe (1661-1731) English writer The Church I grant you the clergy are mostly dull dogs; but with a little disguise and ritual they will pass as holy men with the ignorant. Charles, In Good King Charles's Golden Days George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic The Church A Curate - there is something which excites compassion in the very name of a curate! Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman The Church A congregation who can't afford to pay a clergyman enough want a missionary more than they do a clergyman. Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist The Church How can a bishop marry? How can he flirt? The most he can say is "I will see you in the vestry after service." Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman The Church Archbishop: a Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ. H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist The Church There is not in the universe a more ridiculous nor a more contemptible animal than a proud clergyman. Henry Fielding (1707-1754) English novelist, dramatist The Church The parson knows enough who knows a Duke. William Cowper (1731-1800) English poet The Church That clergyman soon becomes an object of contempt who being often asked out to dinner never refuses to go. Saint Jerome (345-420) Christian scholar The Church The merriment of parsons is mighty offensive. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer The Church His creed no parson ever knew, For this was still his "simple plan," To have with clergymen to do As little as a Christian can. Sir Francis Doyle (1810-1888) English poet The Church As my poor father used to say, When parsons came to call, "He's not my sort, but pass the port, - Thank God, there's room for all." A. P. Herbert (1890-1971) British author, politician The Church Parsons always seem to be specially horrified about things like sunbathing and naked bodies. They don't mind poverty and misery and cruelty to animals nearly as much. Susan Ertz (1894-1985) British novelist The Church While I cannot be regarded as a pillar, I must be regarded as a buttress of the church, because I support it from the outside. Lord Melbourne (1779-1848) English statesman, Prime Minister The Church The Church has always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down. Ralph G. Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer The Church Avoid like the plague a clergyman who is also a businessman. Saint Jerome (345-420) Christian scholar The Church A little, round, fat, oily man of God. James Thomson (1700-1748) Scottish poet The Church If Jesus had wanted to make a woman an Apostle He could have done so. Pamphlet against the ordination of women to the priesthood, 1985 The Church There is neither male nor female; for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Saint Paul (3-67) Apostle to the Gentiles The Church As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women and clergymen. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman The Church The Church has an almost pathological preoccupation with survival. John Robinson (1919-1983) Bishop of Woolwich The Church What is wrong with priests and popes is that instead of being apostles and saints, they are nothing but empirics who say "I know" instead of "I am learning," and pray for credulity and inertia as wise men pray for scepticism and activity. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic The Church The Church after all is not a club of saints; it is a hospital for sinners. George Craig Stewart (1879-1940) Bishop of Chicago The Church Church of England Alas the Church of England! What with Popery on one hand, and schismatics on the other, how has she been crucified between two thieves! Daniel Defoe (1661-1731) English writer Church of England This is what the Church is said to want, not party men, but sensible, temperate, sober, well-judging persons, to guide it through the channel of no-meaning, between the Scylla and Charybdis of Aye and No. Cardinal John Newman (1801-1890) English churchman, theologian Church of England Place before your eyes two precepts, and only two. One is Preach the Gospel; and the other is - Put down enthusiasm . . . The Church of England in a nutshell. Mrs Humphrey Ward (1851-1920) British novelist Church of England The merit claimed for the Anglican Church is, that if you let it alone, it will let you alone. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Church of England There is this difference between the Church of Rome and the Church of England: the one professes to be infallible - the other to be never in the wrong. Sir Richard Steele (1672-1729) English essayist, dramatist, editor Church of England I have, alas, only one illusion left, and that is the Archbishop of Canterbury. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Church of England I must believe in the Apostolic Succession, there being no other way of accounting for the descent of the Bishop of Exeter from Judas Iscariot. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Church of England The Church of England seems to wish us to regard birth as the entry to sin, marriage as a means of avoiding one aspect of sin, and death to be the welcome relief whereby we can sin no more. Sir Steuart Wilson (1889-1966) British administrator, musician Church of England A soul cannot be eternally satisfied with kindness, and a soothing murmur, and the singing of hymns. R. H. Benson (1871-1914) British novelist Church of England To tolerate everything is to teach nothing. Dr. F. J. Kinsman (1868-1944) American clergyman Church of England I do hereby profess . . . that Protestantism is the dreariest of possible religions; that the thought of the Anglican service makes me shiver, and the thought of the Thirty-Nine Articles makes me shudder. Cardinal John Newman (1801-1890) English churchman, theologian Church of England Church-going See: Preaching: Shaw America has become so tense and nervous it has been years since I've seen anyone asleep in church - and that is a sad situation. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale (b. 1898) President of the Protestant Council, New York Church-going Light half-believers of our casual creeds. Matthew Arnold (1822-1888) English poet, critic Church-going Too hot to go to Church? What about Hell? poster in Dayton, Ohio Church-going She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show. Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God. Alice Walker (b. 1944) American author, critic Church-going Churches A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there. H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist Churches I never weary of great churches. It is my favourite kind of mountain scenery. Mankind was never so happily inspired as when it made a cathedral. Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) Scottish novelist, essayist, poet Churches Cathedrals, luxury liners laden with souls, Holding to the east their hulls of stone. W. H. Auden (1907-1973) Anglo-American poet Churches When churchyards are consecrated I find it awfully difficult to imagine that the Holy Spirit is operating only along the dotted line on the part of the plan coloured pink. Canon R. L. Hussey (b. 1899) British clergyman Churches The beautiful uncut hair of graves. Walt Whitman (1819-1892) American poet Churches Cinema See: Hollywood The cinema is not a slice of life but a piece of cake. Alfred Hitchcock (1899-1980) Anglo-American film director Cinema The cinema, like the detective story, makes it possible to experience without danger all the excitement, passion and desirousness which must be repressed in a humanitarian ordering of life. Carl Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist Cinema The theater is like a faithful wife. The film is the great adventure - the costly, exacting mistress. Ingmar Bergman (b. 1918) Swedish film and theater director Cinema They get excited about the sort of stuff I could get shooting through a piece of Kleenex. Billy Wilder (b. 1906) American writer-director on European cinema Cinema Film is not the art of scholars but of illiterates. Film culture is not analysis but agitation of the mind. Werner Herzog (b. 1942) German film director Cinema Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate the great trash we have very little reason to be interested in them. Pauline Kael (b. 1919) American film critic Cinema The trouble with a movie these days is that it's old before it's released. It's no accident that it comes in a can. Orson Welles (1915-1985) American filmmaker Cinema All television ever did was shrink the demand for ordinary movies. The demand for extraordinary movies increased. If any one thing is wrong with the movie industry today, it is the unrelenting effort to astonish. Clive James (b. 1939) Australian writer, critic Cinema There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education. Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist Cinema Film music should have the same relationship to the film drama that somebody's piano playing in my living room has to the book I am reading. Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971) Russian-American composer Cinema A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant and a bastard. Billy Wilder (b. 1906) American writer-director Cinema Saddest movie I've ever seen - I cried all the way through. It's sad when you're eighty-two. Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comic actor on Last Tango in Paris Cinema Circumstances See: Planning: Osler It is nice to make heroic decisions and to be prevented by "circumstances beyond your control" from ever trying to execute them. William James (1842-1910) American psychologist, philosopher Circumstances People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. Vivie, Mrs Warren's Profession George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Circumstances If all our happiness is bound up entirely in our personal circumstances it is difficult not to demand of life more than it has to give. Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) British philosopher, mathematician, social reformer Circumstances Circumstances! I make circumstances! Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) Emperor of France Circumstances City Life See: Country Life: Shaw; Byron London New York City Life. Millions of people being lonesome together. Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American philosopher, author, naturalist City Life God the first garden made, and the first city Cain. Abraham Cowley (1618-1667) English author City Life Fields and trees teach me nothing, but the people in a city do. Socrates (469-399 BC) Greek philosopher City Life If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; if you would know, and not be known, live in a city. C. C. Colton (1780-1832) English author, clergyman City Life A great city is the place to escape the true drama of provincial life, and find solace in fantasy. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author City Life As a remedy to life in society I would suggest the big city. Nowadays it is the only desert within our means. Albert Camus (1913-1960) French writer City Life Crowds without company, and dissipation without pleasure. Edward Gibbon (1737-1794) English historian City Life Omnis civitas corpus est. Every city is a living body. Saint Augustine (354-430) theologian City Life A large city cannot be experientially known; its life is too manifold for any individual to be able to participate in it. Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) English author City Life They who have spent all their lives in cities improve their talents but impair their virtues; and strengthen their minds but weaken their morals. C. C. Colton (1780-1832) English author, clergyman City Life Poiche voi, cittadine infauste mura, Vidi e conobbi assai, la dove segue Odio al dolor compagno. For I have seen and known you too well, black city walls, where pain follows close behind hatred. Giacomo Leopardi (1798-1837) Italian poet City Life The city is not a concrete jungle. It is a human zoo. Desmond Morris (b. 1928) British anthropologist City Life This City now doth like a garment wear The beauty of the morning; silent, bare, Ships, towers, domes, theatres and temples lie Open unto the fields and to the sky; All bright and glittering in the smokeless air. William Wordsworth (1770-1850) English poet City Life No city should be too large for a man to walk out of it in a morning. Cyril Connolly (1903-1974) British critic City Life Cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night. Rupert Brooke (1887-1915) British poet City Life Prepare for death if here at night you roam, And sign your will before you sup from home. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer City Life Civilization See: Curiosity: Trevelyan The Devil: Knox Leisure: Russell Progress: Rogers Suicide: Ellis Tolerance: Menen Women: and Men: Meredith The origin of civilization is man's determination to do nothing for himself which he can get done for him. H. C. Bailey (1878-1961) British crimewriter Civilization Civilization - by which I here mean barbarism made strong and luxurious by mechanical power. C. S. Lewis (1898-1963) British author Civilization Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit vultures. Malcolm Muggeridge (b. 1903) British journalist Civilization All civilization has from time to time become a thin crust over a volcano of revolution. Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) British psychologist, author Civilization Civilization is the lamb's skin in which barbarism masquerades. Thomas Bailey Aldrich (1836-1907) American writer, editor Civilization Our civilization is not even skin deep; it reaches no lower than our clothes. Humanity is still essentially Yahoo-manity. W. R. Inge (1860-1954) Dean of St. Paul's, London Civilization Every new generation is a fresh invasion of savages. Hervey Allen (1889-1949) American educator, poet, author Civilization Is it progress if a cannibal uses knife and fork? Stanislaus J. Lec (b. 1909) Polish poet Civilization Civilization is a progress from an indefinite, incoherent homogeneity toward a definite, coherent heterogeneity. Herbert Spencer (1820-1903) English philosopher Civilization Increased means and increased leisure are the two civilizers of man. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Civilization The three great elements of modern civilization, gunpowder, printing, and the Protestant religion. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish writer Civilization The nineteenth century regarded European civilization as mature and late, the final expression of the human spirit. We are only now beginning to realise that it is young and childish. C. E. M. Joad (1891-1953) British author, academic Civilization Inscribe all human effort with one word, Artistry's haunting curse, the Incomplete! Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet Civilization Class See: The Bourgeoisie Inequality Ladies: Herford Laughter: Chesterfield Secrets: Chapman Slavery: Hammond The Working Class The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles. Karl Marx (1818-1883) German social philosopher, revolutionary Friedrich Engels (1820-1895) German social philosopher, revolutionary Class A society that gives to one class all the opportunities for leisure, and to another all the burdens of work, dooms both classes to spiritual sterility. Lewis Mumford (1895-1990) American writer on environment Class We educate one another; and we cannot do this if half of us consider the other half not good enough to talk to. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Class There are no persons more solicitous about the preservation of rank than those who have no rank at all. William Shenstone (1714-1763) English poet Class The terrifying characteristic of British society is that many of those who are supposed to be inferior have been brainwashed into believing that they actually are. Tony Benn (b. 1925) British Labour politician Class The most perfect political community is one in which the middle class is in control and outnumbers both of the other classes. Aristotle (384-322 BC) Greek philosopher Class The one class you do not belong to and are not proud of at all is the lower-middle class. No one ever describes himself as belonging to the lower-middle class. George Mikes (b. 1912) Hungarian-born British humorist Class When we say a woman is of a certain social class, we really mean her husband or father is. Zoe Fairbairns (b. 1948) British author Class The classes that wash most are those that work least. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Class Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Class I am his Highness' dog at Kew; Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you? Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet Class Cliches See: Oxford: Guedalla Man is a creature who lives not upon bread alone, but principally by catchwords. Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) Scottish novelist, essayist, poet Cliches A good catchword can obscure analysis for fifty years. Wendell L. Wilkie (1892-1944) American lawyer, businessman, politician Cliches If you have to be in a soap opera try not to get the worst role. Boy George (b. 1961) British rock singer Cliches Clubs See: Institutions: Thoreau This happy breed of men, this little world. Gaunt, King Richard II William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Clubs Most clubs have the atmosphere of a Duke's house with the Duke lying dead upstairs. Douglas Sutherland (b. 1919) British author Clubs I don't care to belong to any social organization which would accept me as a member. Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comic actor Clubs Cocktail Parties The cocktail party - as the name itself indicates - was originally invented by dogs. They are simply bottom-sniffings raised to the rank of formal ceremonies. Lawrence Durrell (b. 1912) British author Cocktail Parties It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all. P. G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) British novelist, humorist Cocktail Parties We are persons of quality, I assure you, and women of fashion, and come to see and to be seen. Ben Jonson (1573-1637) English dramatist, poet Cocktail Parties Consider yourselves introduced, because I only remember one of your names, and that wouldn't be fair to the other. Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree (1853-1917) English actor-manager Cocktail Parties Cocktails That faint but sensitive enteric expectancy that suggests the desirability of a cocktail. Christopher Morley (1890-1957) American novelist, journalist Cocktails I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini. Alexander Woollcott (1887-1943) American columnist, critic Cocktails Coffee The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) American writer, physician Coffee Black as hell, strong as death, sweet as love. Turkish proverb Coffee Coffee in England is just toasted milk. Christopher Fry (b. 1907) British playwright Coffee Coffee, which makes the politician wise, And see through all things with his half-shut eyes. Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet Coffee Coincidence It is only in literature that coincidences seem unnatural. Robert Lynd (1879-1949) Anglo-Irish essayist, journalist Coincidence Although we talk so much about coincidence we do not really believe in it. In our heart of hearts we think better of the universe, we are secretly convinced that it is not such a slipshod, haphazard affair, that everything in it has meaning. J. B. Priestley (1894-1984) British writer Coincidence Color Green how I love you green. Green wind. Green branches. Federico Garcia Lorca (1898-1936) Spanish lyric poet, dramatist Color I've been forty years discovering that the queen of all colors is black. Auguste Renoir (1841-1919) French painter, sculptor Color Artists can color the sky red because they know it's blue. Those of us who aren't artists must color things the way they really are or people might think we're stupid. Jules Feiffer (b. 1929) American cartoonist Color Comedy Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977) English comic actor, director Comedy Chaplin's genius was in comedy. He had no sense of humor. Lita Grey second wife of Charlie Chaplin Comedy This fellow's wise enough to play the fool. Viola, Twelfth Night William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Comedy The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth. George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) American critic Comedy The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his buttons; the second is to look around to see if a cat has walked out on the stage. W. C. Fields (1879-1946) American film actor Comedy Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist Comedy Though it makes the unskilful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve. Hamlet, Hamlet William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Comedy The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel. James Thurber (1894-1961) American humorist, illustrator Comedy Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith. Christopher Fry (b. 1907) British playwright Comedy I had rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to make me sad. Rosalind, As You Like It William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Comedy Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act. Marty Feldman (1933-1982) British comedian Comedy Committees The English way is a committee - we are born with a belief in a green cloth, clean pens and twelve men with grey hair. Walter Bagehot (1826-1877) English economist, critic Committees The heaping together of paintings by Old Masters in museums is a catastrophe; likewise, a collection of a hundred Great Brains makes one big fathead. Carl Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist Committees The Commonplace See: Banality: Butler Boredom: Galbraith Poetry: Stevenson Sincerity: Lynd Tragedy: Masefield Most of us swim in the ocean of the commonplace. Pio Baroja (1872-1956) Spanish novelist, essayist The Commonplace The characteristic of the hour is that the commonplace mind, knowing itself to be commonplace, has the assurance to proclaim the rights of the commonplace and impose them wherever it will. Jose Ortega y Gasset (1883-1955) Spanish essayist, philosopher The Commonplace Little minds are interested in the extraordinary, great minds in the commonplace. Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) American author The Commonplace Thou unassuming common-place Of Nature, with that homely face. William Wordsworth (1770-1850) English poet The Commonplace The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is the reason He makes so many of them. Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) American president The Commonplace Communism See: Marxism School: Nixon Socialism The USSR: Solzhenitsyn La propriete c'est le vol. Property is theft. Pierre-Joseph Proudhon (1809-1865) French social theorist Communism What is a Communist? One who has yearnings For equal division of unequal earnings. Ebenezer Elliot (1781-1849) English pamphleteer, poet Communism In communist society, where nobody has one exclusive sphere of activity but each can become accomplished in any branch he wishes, society regulates the general production and thus makes it possible for me . . . to hunt in the morning, fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening, criticize after dinner, just as I have a mind, without ever becoming hunter, fisherman, herdsman or critic. Karl Marx (1818-1883) German social philosopher, revolutionary Communism Russian Communism is the illegitimate child of Karl Marx and Catherine the Great. Clement Attlee (1883-1967) British Labour politician, prime minister Communism Communism, being the lay form of Catholicism, and indeed meaning the same thing, has never had any lack of chaplains. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Communism Communists are people who fancied that they had an unhappy childhood. Gertrude Stein (1874-1946) American writer Communism Send your son to Moscow and he will return an anti-Communist; send him to the Sorbonne and he will return a Communist. Felix Houphouet-Boigny (b. 1905) President of the Ivory Coast Communism Communism has never come to power in a country that was not disrupted by war or corruption, or both. John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) American president Communism Our fear that Communism might someday take over most of the world blinds us to the fact that anti-communism already has. American analyst, 1967 Communism The crusade against Communism was even more imaginary than the spectre of Communism. A. J. P. Taylor (b. 1906) British historian Communism I detest communism, because it is the negation of liberty . . . I am not a communist because communism concentrates and absorbs all the powers of society into the state. Mikhail Bakunin (1814-1876) Russian political theorist Communism Communism is not love. Communism is a hammer which we use to crush the enemy. Mao Zedong (1893-1976) founder of the People's Republic of China Communism So we, who are united in mind and soul, have no hesitation about sharing property. All is common among us - except our wives. Tertullian (c. 160-240) Roman theologian Communism Commuters A man who shaves and takes a train, And then rides back to shave again. E. B. White (1899-1985) American author, editor Commuters The doors are shut in the evening; And they know no songs. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Commuters Company See: Dinner Parties: Swift Friends Friendship Happiness: Twain Solitude Company, villainous company, hath been the spoil of me. Falstaff, King Henry IV part I William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Company Who sleepeth with dogs shall rise with fleas. John Florio (1553-1626) English lexicographer, translator Company You could read Kant by yourself, if you wanted; but you must share a joke with someone else. Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) Scottish novelist, essayist, poet Company All who joy would win must share it - Happiness was born a twin. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Company I had three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society. Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American philosopher, author, naturalist Company Fan the sinking flame of hilarity with the wing of friendship; and pass the rosy wine. Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English novelist Company Compatibility Madam, I have been looking for a person who disliked gravy all my life; let us swear eternal friendship. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Compatibility Competition See: Craftsmanship: Ruskin We throw all our attention on the utterly idle question whether A has done as well as B, when the only question is whether A has done as well as he could. William Graham Sumner (1840-1900) American sociologist Competition Thou shalt not covet; but tradition Approves all forms of competition. A. H. Clough (1819-1861) English poet Competition So long as the system of competition in the production and exchange of the means of life goes on, the degradation of the arts will go on; and if that system is to last for ever, then art is doomed, and will surely die; that is to say, civilization will die. William Morris (1834-1896) English artist, writer, printer Competition Complacency The singular completeness of limited men. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish writer Complacency The plain working truth is that it is not only good for people to be shocked occasionally, but absolutely necessary to the progress of society that they should be shocked pretty often. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Complacency The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish writer Complacency Complaint See: Pity: Austen The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist Complaint It is a general popular error to suppose the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman Complaint It is a folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Complaint The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going about saying "The trouble with this country is . . . " Sinclair Lewis (1885-1951) American novelist Complaint Depend upon it that if a man talks of his misfortunes there is something in them that is not disagreeable to him. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Complaint Can anybody remember when the times were not hard, and money not scarce? Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Complaint When I meet a man whose name I can't remember, I give myself two minutes, then if it is a hopeless case I always say "And how is the old complaint?" Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Complaint Compliments See: Flattery Ireland: Hinkson I can live for two months on a good compliment. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Compliments Nothing is so silly as the expression of a man who is being complimented. Andre Gide (1869-1951) French author Compliments Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Compliments Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt. Kin (F. McKinney) Hubbard (1868-1930) American humorist, journalist Compliments Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old. Washington Irving (1783-1859) American author Compliments Compromise This world may be divided into those who take it or leave it and those who split the difference. Father Ronald Knox (1888-1957) British clergyman, writer Compromise All government - indeed every human benefit and enjoyment, every virtue and every prudent act - is founded on compromise and barter. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman Compromise If one cannot catch a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. Nikita Khrushchev (1894-1971) Soviet premier Compromise A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes that he has got the biggest piece. Dr. Ludwig Erhard (1897-1977) East German politician Compromise Conferences See: Committees A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. Fred Allen (1894-1957) American comic Conferences No grand idea was ever born in a conference, but a lot of foolish ideas have died there. F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940) American author Conferences Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything. John Kenneth Galbraith (b. 1908) American economist Conferences Confessions See: Catholicism: Menen Gossip: Fairbanks Psychoanalysis: Sheen Sin: Gibran There is no refuge from confession but suicide, and suicide is confession. Daniel Webster (1782-1852) American lawyer, statesman Confessions All the good writers of confessions, from Augustine onwards, are men who are still a little in love with their sins. Anatole France (1844-1924) French author Confessions We only confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no big ones. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Confessions Before confession, be perfectly sure that you do not wish to be forgiven. Katherine Mansfield (1888-1923) New Zealand-born writer Confessions It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Confessions A Protestant, if he wants aid or advice on any matter, can only go to his solicitor. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Confessions Conformity See: Convention: Russell Society: Emerson The Suburbs: Kronenberger Where an opinion is general, it is usually correct. Jane Austen (1775-1817) English novelist Conformity Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American philosopher, author, naturalist Conformity For not all have the gift of martyrdom. John Dryden (1631-1700) English poet, dramatist, critic Conformity Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and a lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul. She becomes all outer show and inward emptiness; dull, callous, and indifferent. Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) British novelist Conformity That so few now dare to be eccentric marks the chief danger of the time. John Stuart Mill (1806-1873) English philosopher, economist Conformity People have fallen into a foolish habit of speaking of orthodoxy as something heavy, humdrum and safe. There never was anything so perilous or so exciting as orthodoxy. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Conformity I think it would be terrific if everybody was alike. Andy Warhol (1930-1987) American artist Conformity When all think alike, then no one is thinking. Walter Lippmann (1889-1974) American journalist Conformity The strongest bulwark of authority is uniformity; the least divergence from it is the greatest crime. Emma Goldman (1869-1940) American anarchist Conformity Conscience See: Deliberation: Newman The English: de Madariaga Love: Shakespeare Principles: Howells The Soul: Smith Conscience is a sickness. Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936) Spanish philosopher, poet, novelist Conscience Conscience: the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking. H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist Conscience Conscience is, in most men, an anticipation of the opinion of others. Sir Henry Taylor (1800-1886) English author Conscience A man's conscience and his judgement is the same thing, and as the judgement, so also the conscience, may be erroneous. Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679) English philosopher Conscience The Non-Conformist Conscience makes cowards of us all. Sir Max Beerbohm (1872-1956) British author Conscience Conscience is thoroughly well-bred and soon leaves off talking to those who do not wish to hear it. Samuel Butler (1835-1902) English author Conscience Conscience has no more to do with gallantry than it has with politics. Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751-1816) Anglo-Irish dramatist Conscience At times, although one is perfectly in the right, one's legs tremble; at other times, although one is completely in the wrong, birds sing in one's soul. Vasily V. Rozanov (1856-1919) Russian philosopher Conscience Consensus It is not much matter which we say, but mind, we must all say the same. Lord Melbourne (1779-1848) English statesman, Prime Minister Consensus We must indeed all hang together, or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, writer Consensus Consequences See: Nature: Ingersoll There's no limit to how complicated things can get, on account of one thing always leading to another. E. B. White (1899-1985) American author, editor Consequences Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men. Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-1895) English biologist Consequences Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious. Hypatia, Misalliance George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Consequences That's the penalty we have to pay for our acts of foolishness - someone else always suffers for them. Alfred Sutro (1863-1933) British dramatist Consequences Conservatives See: Doubt: Strindberg Political Parties: Amis; Disraeli Tradition One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. Walter Bagehot (1826-1877) English economist, critic Conservatives What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried? Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) American president Conservatives When it is not necessary to change, it is necessary not to change. Lord Falkland (1610-1643) English statesman, patron Conservatives Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Conservatives A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run. Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) American author Conservatives Men are conservatives when they are least vigorous, or when they are most luxurious. They are conservatives after dinner. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Conservatives That man's the true Conservative Who lops the moulder'd branch away. Lord Tennyson (1809-1892) English poet Conservatives The English never abolish anything. They put it in cold storage. Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947) British philosopher Conservatives When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung. Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) American clergyman, editor, writer Conservatives Sir, we must beware of needless innovation, especially when guided by logic. Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British statesman, writer Conservatives Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid. Kin (F. McKinney) Hubbard (1868-1930) American humorist, journalist Conservatives Consistency Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Consistency A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Consistency Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead. Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) English author Consistency The Constitution See: Inconsistency: Hardy A Constitution should be short and obscure. Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) Emperor of France The Constitution Our constitution is an actual operation; everything appears to promise that it will last; but in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, writer The Constitution In questions of power, let no more be heard of confidence in man, but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the constitution. Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) American president The Constitution The Consumer Society See: Property: Lerner Conspicuous consumption of valuable goods is a means of reputability to the gentleman of leisure. Thorstein Veblen (1857-1929) American social scientist The Consumer Society The power of consumer goods . . . has been engendered by the so-called liberal and progressive demands of freedom, and, by appropriating them, has emptied them of their meaning, and changed their nature. Pier Paolo Pasolini (1922-1975) Italian film director, essayist The Consumer Society . . . Everything from toy guns that spark To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark It's easy to see without looking too far That not much is really sacred. Bob Dylan (b. 1941) American singer, songwriter The Consumer Society With the supermarket as our temple and the singing commercial as our litany, are we likely to fire the world with an irresistible vision of America's exalted purposes and inspiring way of life? Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965) American Democratic politician The Consumer Society Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer The Consumer Society Contemporaries To have been alive with him was to have dined at the table of history. Cassandra, Sir William Connor (1909-1967) British journalist of Sir Winston Churchill Contemporaries Contentment See: Happiness That blessed mood In which the burthen of the mystery, In which the heavy and the weary weight Of all this unintelligible world Is lightened. William Wordsworth (1770-1850) English poet Contentment Tomorrow, do thy worst, for I have lived today. John Dryden (1631-1700) English poet, dramatist, critic Contentment Y mientras miserablemente se estan los otros abrasando en sed insaciable del no durable mando, tendido yo a la sombra este cantando. And so, while others miserably pledge themselves to the insatiable pursuit of ambition and brief power, I will be stretched out in the shade, singing. Fray Luis de Leon (c. 1527-1591) Spanish poet Contentment I have a most peaceable disposition. My desires are for a modest hut, a thatched roof, but a good bed, good food, very fresh milk and butter, flowers in front of my window and a few pretty trees by my door. And should the good Lord wish to make me really happy, he will allow me the pleasure of seeing about six or seven of my enemies hanged upon those trees. Heinrich Heine (1797-1856) German poet, journalist Contentment Controversy See: Abuse: Newman Abuse is often of service. There is nothing so dangerous to an author as silence. His name, like the shuttlecock, must be beat backward and forward, or it falls to the ground. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Controversy When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest. William Hazlitt (1778-1830) English essayist Controversy Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Controversy Convention Nobody can live in society without conventions. The reason why sensible people are as conventional as they can bear to be is that conventionality saves so much time and thought and trouble and social friction of one sort or another that it leaves them much more leisure for freedom than unconventionality does. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Convention Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves. Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) British philosopher, mathematician, social reformer Convention There is nothing more conventional than the convention of unconventionality. R. H. Benson (1871-1914) British novelist Convention Conversation See: Dinner Parties: Barrie; Chesterton; Hitchcock Gentlemen: English proverb Dr. Johnson: Piozzi Nostalgia: Cory Silence: Smith Speeches: Moliere Wit: Hazlitt With thee conversing I forget all time. John Milton (1608-1674) English poet Conversation Talk to every woman as if you loved her, and to every man as if he bored you, and at the end of your first season you will have the reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Conversation Great talkers are so constituted that they do not know their own thoughts until, on the tide of their particular gift, they hear them issuing from their mouths. Thornton Wilder (1897-1975) American author Conversation Say nothing good of yourself, you will be distrusted; say nothing bad of yourself, you will be taken at your word. Joseph Roux (1834-1886) French priest, writer Conversation Inquisitive people are merely funnels of conversation. They do not take in anything for their own use, but merely to pass it on to others. Sir Richard Steele (1672-1729) English essayist, dramatist, editor Conversation No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next. Ed (E. W.) Howe (1853-1937) American journalist, novelist Conversation I find we are growing serious, and then we are in great danger of being dull. William Congreve (1670-1729) English dramatist Conversation Sir, you have but two topics, yourself and me. I am sick of both. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Conversation We often forgive those who bore us, but we cannot forgive those whom we bore. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Conversation Your ignorance cramps my conversation. Anthony Hope Hawkins (1863-1933) British novelist Conversation Silence is the unbearable repartee. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Conversation He speaks to Me as if I was a public meeting. Queen Victoria of England (1819-1901) of Mr. Gladstone Conversation When we talk in company we lose our unique tone of voice, and this leads us to make statements which in no way correspond to our real thoughts. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher Conversation Ideally I'd like to spend two evenings a week talking to Proust and another conversing with the Holy Ghost. Edna O'Brien (b. 1936) Irish author Conversation And when you stick on conversation's burrs, Don't strew your pathway with those dreadful urs. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) American writer, physician Conversation Cooking See: Artists: Gauguin Humanity: Jerrold Royalty: Duke of Edinburgh Wives: Frost; Meredith Women: Wolfe We may live without poetry, music and art; We may live without conscience, and live without heart; We may live without friends; we may live without books; But civilised man cannot live without cooks. Owen Meredith, Edward R. BulwerEarl of Lytton (1831-1891) English poet, diplomat Cooking 'Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers. Servant, Romeo and Juliet William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Cooking Be content to remember that those who can make omlettes properly can do nothing else. Hilaire Belloc (1870-1953) British author Cooking Correspondence See: Courtesy: Waugh History: Acton As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country. Bible, Proverbs Correspondence An intention to write never turns into a letter. A letter must happen to one like a surprise, and one may not know where in the day there was room for it to come into being. Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926) German poet Correspondence Letters give us great lives at their most characteristic, their most glorious, and their most terrible moments. Here history and biography meet. W. Lincoln Schuster American publisher Correspondence His letters teach the morals of a whore, and the manners of a dancing master. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer of Lord Chesterfield Correspondence Corruption See: Elections: Kennedy Journalism: Wolfe Secrets: Wilson Tradition: Book of Common Prayer Wealth: Chesterton God is merciful and men are bribable, and that's how his will is done on earth as it is in Heaven. Corruption is our only hope. As long as there's corruption, there'll be merciful judges and even the innocent may get off. Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956) German dramatist, poet trans. Eric Bentley Corruption The jingling of the guinea helps the hurt that honour feels. Lord Tennyson (1809-1892) English poet Corruption When I want to buy up any politician I always find the anti-monopolists the most purchasable - they don't come so high. William Vanderbilt (1821-1885) American industrialist Corruption Don't take a nickel, just hand them your business card. Richard M. Daley (1902-1975) American politician Corruption An upright minister asks what recommends a man; a corrupt minister, who. C. C. Colton (1780-1832) English author, clergyman Corruption I am against government by crony. Harold L. Ickes (1874-1952) American politician resignation speech Corruption Corruption . . . the most infallible symptom of constitutional liberty. Edward Gibbon (1737-1794) English historian Corruption I have often noticed that a bribe . . . has that effect - it changes a relation. The man who offers a bribe gives away a little of his own importance; the bribe once accepted, he becomes the inferior, like a man who has paid for a woman. Graham Greene (b. 1904) British novelist Corruption The sun shineth upon the dunghill, and is not corrupted. John Lyly (1554-1606) English author Corruption The Cosmos See: Chess: Huxley Coincidence: Priestley The cosmos is about the smallest hole that a man can hide his head in. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author The Cosmos Nothing puzzles me more than time and space; and yet nothing troubles me less, as I never think about them. Charles Lamb (1775-1834) English essayist, critic The Cosmos I don't pretend to understand the universe, it is a great deal bigger than I am. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish writer The Cosmos The universe is one of God's thoughts. Friedrich von Schiller (1759-1805) German dramatist, poet The Cosmos Law rules throughout the universe, a Law which is not intelligent but Intelligence. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher The Cosmos Thou canst not stir a flower Without troubling of a star. Francis Thompson (1859-1907) English poet The Cosmos I rather feel that deep in the soul of mankind there is a reflection as on the surface of a mirror, of a mirror-calm lake, of the beauty and harmony of the universe. Charles, Prince of Wales (b. 1948) The Cosmos The cosmos is a gigantic fly-wheel making ten thousand revolutions a minute. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it. Religion is the theory that the wheel was designed and set spinning to give him the ride. H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist The Cosmos 'Tis very puzzling on the brink Of what is called Eternity to stare, And know more of what is here, than there. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet The Cosmos Country Life See: City Life: Colton; Cowley I live not in myself, but I become Portion of that around me; and to me High mountains are a feeling, but the hum Of human cities torture. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Country Life Our present city populations are so savage that they drive even the most public-spirited country people to put up barbed wire all over the place. They are no more to be trusted with trees and animals than a baby can be trusted with a butterfly. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Country Life I have no relish for the country; it is a kind of healthy grave. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Country Life Anybody can be good in the country; there are no temptations there. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Country Life The lowest and vilest alleys of London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930) English author Country Life There is nothing good to be had in the country, or, if there is, they will not let you have it. William Hazlitt (1778-1830) English essayist Country Life I nauseate walking; 'tis a country diversion; I loathe the country. William Congreve (1670-1729) English dramatist Country Life Separate from the pleasure of your company, I don't much care if I never see another mountain in my life. Charles Lamb (1775-1834) English essayist, critic to Wordsworth Country Life Oh lord! I don't know which is the worst of the country, the walking or the sitting at home with nothing to do. Mrs. Warren, Mrs. Warren's Profession George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Country Life It is quiet here and restful and the air is delicious. There are gardens everywhere, nightingales sing in the gardens and police spies lie in the bushes. Maxim Gorky (1868-1936) Russian writer Country Life Country Music I have long harboured a suspicion that most country songwriters moonlight as speechwriters for President Reagan or scriptwriters for "Dallas," since they share a desire to reduce all life to the dimensions of a B-movie. Paul Lashmar Observer, 1986 Country Music Courage Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Courage There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear. John Wainwright (b. 1921) British author Courage A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing before. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Courage Perfect courage is to do without witnesses what one would be capable of doing with the world looking on. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Courage Courage is a quality so necessary for maintaining virtue that it is always respected, even when it is associated with vice. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Courage Fortunately for themselves and the world, nearly all men are cowards and dare not act on what they believe. Nearly all our disasters come of a few fools having the "courage of their convictions." Coventry Patmore (1823-1896) English poet Courage "I'm very brave generally," he went on in a low voice: "only today I happen to have a headache." Lewis Carroll (1832-1898) English writer, mathematician Courage Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage. Jean Anouilh (1910-1987) French dramatist Courage Courtesy See: Manners We cannot always oblige, but we can always speak obligingly. Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, writer Courtesy Politeness is good nature regulated by good sense. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Courtesy Politeness is the art of choosing among one's real thoughts. Abel Stevens (1815-1897) American clergyman, editor Courtesy There can be no defence like elaborate courtesy. E. V. Lucas (1868-1938) British journalist, essayist Courtesy The civilities of the great are never thrown away. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Courtesy It is true there are many very polite men, but none that I ever heard of who were not either fascinating women or obeying them. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Courtesy It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanism of friendship. Colette (1873-1954) French novelist Courtesy The English are polite by telling lies. The Americans are polite by telling the truth. Malcolm Bradbury (b. 1932) British author Courtesy His courtesy was somewhat extravagant. He would write and thank people who wrote to thank him for wedding presents and when he encountered anyone as punctilious as himself the correspondence ended only with death. Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966) British novelist Courtesy Cowardice See: Heroes: Shaw Humility: Shaw Temptation: Twain A cowardly act! What do I care about that? You may be sure that I should never fear to commit one if it were to my advantage. Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) Emperor of France Cowardice For all men would be cowards if they durst. John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester (1647-1680) English courtier, poet Cowardice Cowardice, as distinguished from panic, is almost always simply a lack of ability to suspend the functioning of the imagination. Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961) American writer Cowardice I'm a hero with coward's legs. Spike Milligan (b. 1918) British comedian, humorous writer Cowardice The last thing a woman will consent to discover in a man whom she loves or on whom she simply depends, is want of courage. Joseph Conrad (1857-1924) English novelist Cowardice If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Harry S. Truman (1884-1972) American president Cowardice Craftsmanship See: Doctors: Hippocrates Nothing should be made by man's labour which is not worth making, or which must be made by labour degrading to the makers. William Morris (1834-1896) English artist, writer, printer Craftsmanship There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper. John Ruskin (1819-1900) English critic Craftsmanship A man cannot make a pair of shoes rightly unless he do it in a devout manner. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish writer Craftsmanship Mastery is not something that strikes in an instant, like a thunderbolt, but a gathering power that moves steadily through time, like weather. John Gardner (1933-1982) American author Craftsmanship No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Craftsmanship Creation God's first creature, which was light. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist Creation And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. Bible, Genesis Creation God created Adam lord of all living creatures, but Eve spoiled it all. Martin Luther (1483-1546) German leader of the Protestant Reformation Creation The world is a botched job. Gabriel Garcia Marquez (b. 1928) Colombian writer Creation Man was created a little lower than the angels, and has been getting a little lower ever since. Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist Creation God made man merely to hear some praise Of what he'd done on those Five Days. Christopher Morley (1890-1957) American novelist, journalist Creation If God hadn't rested on Sunday, he might have had time to finish off the world. Gabriel Garcia Marquez (b. 1928) Colombian writer Creation Thou didst create the night, but I made the lamp. Thou didst create clay, but I made the cup. Thou didst create the deserts, mountains and forests, I produced the orchards, gardens and groves. It is I who made the glass out of stone, And it is I who turn a poison into an antidote. Urdu poet (unknown) Creation Everyone is as God made him, and often a great deal worse. Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616) Spanish novelist, dramatist, poet Creation I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Creation We have no reason to suppose that we are the Creator's last word. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Creation Creeds See: Belief Science: Huxley I believe in one God and no more, and I hope for happiness beyond this life. I believe in the equality of man; and I believe that religious duties consist in doing justice, loving mercy, and endeavoring to make our fellow-creatures happy. Thomas Paine (1737-1809) Anglo-American writer Creeds We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) American president Creeds A man must not swallow more beliefs than he can digest. Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) British psychologist, author Creeds I believe in Michelangelo, Velasquez, and Rembrandt; in the might of design, the mystery of colour, the redemption of all things by Beauty everlasting; and the message of Art that has made these hands blessed. Amen. Amen. Dubedat, The Doctor's Dilemma George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Creeds What a man believes may be ascertained, not from his creed, but from the assumptions on which he habitually acts. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Creeds When suave politeness, tempering bigot zeal, Corrected "I believe" to "One does feel." Father Ronald Knox (1888-1957) British clergyman, writer Creeds Cricket See: Sport: Stoppard Casting a ball at three straight sticks and defending the same with a fourth. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author Cricket If Stalin had learned to play cricket the world might now be a better place to live in. Dr. R. Downey (1881-1953) Archbishop of Liverpool Cricket Crime See: Honesty: Shenstone Poverty: Mencken Property: Chesterton Sin: Fletcher Villains: Emerson Money is the fruit of evil as often as the root of it. Henry Fielding (1707-1754) English novelist, dramatist Crime Crimes, like virtues, are their own rewards. George Farquhar (1678-1707) Irish dramatist Crime There are crimes which become innocent and even glorious through their splendour, number, and excess. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Crime Successful crimes alone are justified. John Dryden (1631-1700) English poet, dramatist, critic Crime He threatens many that hath injured one. Ben Jonson (1573-1637) English dramatist, poet Crime Abscond. To "move" in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Crime The thief. Once committed beyond a certain point he should not worry himself too much about not being a thief any more. Thieving is God's message to him. Let him try and be a good thief. Samuel Butler (1835-1902) English author Crime A thief believes everybody steals. Ed (E. W.) Howe (1853-1937) American journalist, novelist Crime A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else. O. Henry (1862-1910) American short story writer Crime Crimine ab uno disce omnis. From a single crime know the nation. Virgil (70-19 BC) Roman poet Crime Crimes of which a people is ashamed constitute its real history. The same is true of man. Jean Genet (1910-1986) French dramatist Crime Far more university graduates are becoming criminals every year than are becoming policemen. Philip Goodhart (b. 1925) British Conservative politician Crime When rich villains have need of poor villains, poor ones may make what price they will. Borachio, Much Ado About Nothing William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Crime If weakness may excuse, what murderer, what traitor, parricide, incestuous, sacrilegious, but may plead it? All wickedness is weakness. John Milton (1608-1674) English poet Crime Crises The time is out of joint. O cursed spite, That ever I was born to set it right! Hamlet, Hamlet William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Crises There can't be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. Henry Kissinger (b. 1923) American adviser on international affairs Crises The situation in Germany is serious but not hopeless; the situation in Austria is hopeless but not serious. Austrian proverb collected by Franklin P. Adams (1881-1960) Crises When written in Chinese the word crisis is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity. John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) American president Crises Criticism See: Actors/Actresses: Welles Artists: Cocteau Censorship: Browne Fame: Swift South Africa: Vorster Criticism is the endeavour to find, to know, to love, to recommend, not only the best, but all the good, that has been known and thought and written in the world. George Saintsbury (1845-1933) English literary critic Criticism Of all the cants which are canted in this canting world, - though the cant of hypocrites may be the worst, - the cant of criticism is the most tormenting! Laurence Sterne (1713-1768) English author Criticism It is the nature of the artist to mind excessively what is said about him. Literature is strewn with the wreckage of men who have minded beyond reason the opinions of others. Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) British novelist Criticism A blind man will not thank you for a looking-glass. 18th-century English proverb Criticism You should not say it is not good. You should say you do not like it; and then, you know, you're perfectly safe. James McNeill Whistler (1834-1903) American artist Criticism On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Criticism I like criticism, but it must be my way. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Criticism Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead. Chinese proverb Criticism To many people dramatic criticism must seem like an attempt to tattoo soap bubbles. John Mason Brown (1900-1969) American essayist, critic Criticism I find that when I dislike what I see on the stage I can be vastly amusing, but when I write about something I like I find that I am appallingly dull. Sir Max Beerbohm (1872-1956) British author Criticism Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Criticism As a work of art it has the same status as a long conversation between two not very bright drunks. Clive James (b. 1939) Australian writer, critic of Princess Daisy by Judith Krantz Criticism Join it. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer advice to a writer who complained of a conspiracy of silence about his books Criticism Critics See: Writers: Bovee Reviewers, with some rare exceptions, are a most stupid and malignant race. As a bankrupt thief turns thief-taker in despair, so an unsuccessful author turns critic. Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) English poet Critics Nature, when she invented, manufactured, and patented her authors, contrived to make critics of the chips that were left. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) American writer, physician Critics A louse in the locks of literature. Lord Tennyson (1809-1892) English poet of J. Churton Collins Critics A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste. Whitney Balliet (b. 1926) American writer Critics It is impossible to think of a man of any actual force and originality . . . who spent his whole life appraising and describing the work of other men. H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist Critics Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post what it feels about dogs. Christopher Hampton (b. 1946) British playwright Critics As long as there are readers to be delighted with calumny, there will be found reviewers to calumniate. Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834) English poet Critics I would rather be attacked than unnoticed. For the worst thing you can do to an author is to be silent as to his works. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Critics Though by whim, envy, or resentment led, They damn those authors whom they never read. Charles Churchill (1731-1764) English clergyman, poet Critics I never read a book before reviewing it; it prejudices one so. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Critics There are two kinds of dramatic critics: destructive and constructive. I am a destructive. There are two kinds of guns: Krupp and pop. George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) American critic Critics A good drama critic is one who perceives what is happening in the theatre of his time. A great drama critic also perceives what is not happening. Kenneth Tynan (1927-1980) British critic Critics Never trust the artist. Trust the tale. The proper function of the critic is to save the tale from the artist who created it. D. H. Lawrence (1885-1930) English author Critics What we ask of him is that he should find out for us more than we can find out for ourselves. Arthur Symons (1865-1945) English poet, critic Critics A man must serve his time to every trade Save censure - critics all are ready made. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Critics Cruelty The impulse to cruelty is, in many people, almost as violent as the impulse to sexual love - almost as violent and much more mischievous. Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) English author Cruelty The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) British philosopher, mathematician, social reformer Cruelty Weak men are apt to be cruel. Sir George Savile, Lord Halifax (1633-1695) English statesman, author Cruelty Crying I wept not, so to stone within I grew. Dante (1265-1321) Italian poet Crying I have full cause of weeping; but this heart Shall break into a hundred thousand flaws, Or ere I'll weep. Lear, King Lear William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Crying It is only to the happy that tears are a luxury. Thomas Moore (1779-1852) Irish poet Crying There are people who laugh to show their fine teeth; and there are those who cry to show their good hearts. Joseph Roux (1834-1886) French priest, writer Crying Women's weapons, water-drops. William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Crying Oh! too convincing - dangerously dear - In woman's eye the unanswerable tear! Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Crying Crying is the refuge of plain women, but the ruin of pretty ones. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Crying "It opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes, and softens down the temper," said Mr. Bumble. "So cry away." Oliver Twist Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English novelist Crying Whatever tears one may shed, in the end one always blows one's nose. Heinrich Heine (1797-1856) German poet, journalist Crying Cults What is a cult? It just means not enough people to make a minority. Robert Altman (b. 1922) American film director Cults A cult is a religion with no political power. Tom Wolfe (b. 1931) American author, journalist Cults Culture See: Status: McCarthy Culture, the acquainting ourselves with the best that has been known and said in the world, and thus with the history of the human spirit. Matthew Arnold (1822-1888) English poet, critic Culture Instead of dirt and poison, we have rather chosen to fill our hives with honey and wax; thus furnishing mankind with the two noblest of things, which are sweetness and light. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Culture Culture is the bed-rock, the final wall, against which one leans one's back in a god-forsaken chaos. John Cowper Powys (1872-1963) British author, poet Culture One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, dramatist, novelist, scientist Culture The poor have no business with culture and should beware of it. They cannot eat it; they cannot sell it; they can only pass it on to others and that is why the world is full of hungry people ready to teach us anything under the sun. Aubrey Menen (b. 1912) British novelist, essayist Culture Culture is an instrument wielded by professors to manufacture professors, who, when their turn comes, will manufacture professors. Simone Weil (1909-1943) French mystic, philosopher Culture Mrs Ballinger is one of the ladies who pursue Culture in bands, as though it were dangerous to meet it alone. Edith Wharton (1862-1937) American novelist Culture One of the surest signs of the Philistine is his reverence for the superior tastes of those who put him down. Pauline Kael (b. 1919) American film critic Culture Cunning See: Discretion "Frank and explicit" - that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Cunning With foxes we must play the fox. Thomas Fuller (1654-1734) English physician Cunning The greatest cunning is to have none at all. Carl Sandburg (1878-1967) American poet Cunning And all your future lies beneath your hat. John Oldham (1653-1683) English poet Cunning Curiosity Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Curiosity Disinterested intellectual curiosity is the life blood of real civilization. G. M. Trevelyan (1876-1962) British historian Curiosity We never stop investigating. We are never satisfied that we know enough to get by. Every question we answer leads on to another question. This has become the greatest survival trick of our species. Desmond Morris (b. 1928) British anthropologist Curiosity The thirst to know and understand, A large and liberal discontent. Sir William Watson (1858-1935) British poet Curiosity Be not curious in unnecessary matters: for more things are shewed unto thee than men understand. Apocrypha, Ecclesiasticus Curiosity He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom. J. R. R. Tolkien (1892-1973) British novelist, scholar Curiosity Cynics See: Honesty: Berkeley What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one? George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Cynics Cynicism is intellectual dandyism. George Meredith (1828-1909) English author Cynics A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset. James Gould Cozzens (1903-1978) American author Cynics A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986) American journalist Cynics It takes a clever man to turn cynic, and a wise man to be clever enough not so. Fannie Hurst (1889-1968) American novelist, playwright Cynics What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Cynics Cynics are only happy in making the world as barren for others as they have made it for themselves. George Meredith (1828-1909) English author Cynics Cynic. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Cynics Dancing See: Capital Punishment: Wilde Dancing with abandon, turning a tango into a fertility rite. Marshall Pugh (b. 1925) British journalist, author Dancing I just put my feet in the air and move them around. Fred Astaire (1899-1987) American dancer Dancing Custom has made dancing sometimes necessary for a young man; therefore mind it while you learn it that you may learn to do it well, and not be ridiculous, though in a ridiculous act. Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773) English statesman, man of letters to his son Dancing Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. Christopher Morley (1890-1957) American novelist, journalist Dancing These sort of boobies think that people come to balls to do nothing but dance; whereas everyone knows that the real business of balls is either to look out for a wife, to look after a wife, or to look after somebody else's wife. R. S. Surtees (1803-1864) English sporting novelist Dancing How inimitably graceful children are in general - before they learn to dance. Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834) English poet Dancing Neminem saltare sobrius, nisi forte insanit. No sober man dances, unless he happens to be mad. Cicero (106-43 BC) Roman orator, philosopher Dancing The greater the fool the better the dancer. Theodore Hook (1788-1841) English novelist, wit Dancing The body never lies. Martha Graham (b. 1894) American dancer, choreographer Dancing Ballet is the ectoplasm of music. Russell Green Dancing The Dead He has out-soared the shadow of our night; Envy and calumny, and hate and pain, And that unrest which men miscall delight, Can touch him not, and torture not again; From the contagion of the world's slow stain, He is secure. Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) English poet of John Keats, died aged 25 The Dead To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth. Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, writer The Dead The living are the dead on holiday. Maurice de Maeterlinck (1862-1949) Belgian author The Dead Each in his narrow cell for ever laid, The rude forefathers of the hamlet sleep. Thomas Gray (1716-1771) English poet The Dead The graveyards are full of people the world could not do without. Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) American author The Dead No motion has she now, no force, She neither hears nor sees; Rolled around in earth's diurnal course, With rocks and stones, and trees. William Wordsworth (1770-1850) English poet The Dead Be the green grass above me With showers and dewdrops wet; And if thou wilt, remember, And if thou wilt, forget. Christina Rossetti (1830-1894) English poet, lyricist The Dead After life's fitful fever, he sleeps well; Treason has done his worst: nor steel, nor poison, Malice domestic, foreign levy, nothing Can touch him further. Macbeth, Macbeth William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet The Dead An orphan's curse would drag to hell A spirit from on high; But oh! more horrible than that Is the curse in a dead man's eye. Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834) English poet The Dead I do not make war against the dead. Homer (b. 8th century BC) Greek poet The Dead Abiit ad plures. He has gone over to the majority. Petronius (b. 1st century AD) Roman satirist The Dead Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comic actor The Dead We therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Book of Common Prayer The Dead Death See: The Afterlife: Allen Genocide: Stalin Life: Maurois Lovers: Bridges Philosophy: Saint Anselm Science: Shaw War: Bright The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death. Saint Paul (3-67) Apostle to the Gentiles Death All man think all men mortal, but themselves. Edward Young (1683-1765) English poet, playwright Death Teach me to live that I may dread The grave as little as my bed. Thomas Ken (1637-1711) English churchman, hymn-writer Death Christianity has made of death a terror which was unknown to the gay calmness of the Pagan. Ouida, Marie Louise de la Ramee (1839-1908) English novelist Death It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death should ever have been designed by Providence as an evil to mankind. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Death It is as natural to die as to be born; and to a little infant, perhaps, the one is as painful as the other. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist Death We all labour against our own cure, for death is the cure of all diseases. Sir Thomas Browne (1605-1682) English physician, author Death But I will be a bridegroom in my death And run into't as to a lover's bed. Antony, Antony and Cleopatra William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Death How gladly would I meet Mortality, my sentence, and be earth Insensible! how glad would lay me down, As in my mother's lap! There I should rest And sleep secure. John Milton (1608-1674) English poet Death How often are we to die before we go right off this stage? In every friend we lose a part of ourselves, and the best part. Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet Death Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Death Death is the veil which those who live call life: They sleep, and it is lifted. Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) English poet Death Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart. The nearer I approach the end the plainer I hear around me the immortal symphonies of the worlds which invite me. Victor Hugo (1802-1885) French poet, dramatist, novelist Death The grave's a fine and private place, But none, I think, do there embrace. Andrew Marvell (1621-1678) English metaphysical poet Death Though lovers be lost love shall not; And death shall have no dominion. Dylan Thomas (1914-1953) Welsh poet Death Man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave. Sir Thomas Browne (1605-1682) English physician, author Death I am a temporary enclosure for a temporary purpose; that served, my skull and teeth, my idiosyncrasy and desire, will disperse, I believe, like the timbers of a booth after the fair. H. G. Wells (1866-1946) English author, social thinker Death Death, which ends the feuds of unimportant persons, lets loose the tongue over the characters of the great. Kings are especially sufferers. J. A. Froude (1818-1894) English author Death I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them, The good is oft interred with their bones. Mark Antony, Julius Caesar William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Death Death hath a thousand doors to let out life; I shall find one. Philip Massinger (1583-1640) English dramatist Death Like figures on an ancient clock, Warrior, or saint, or clown (All's one to the machine), that wake When each stale hour is done, And with preliminary whirr Play their allotted role, Stiffly advance, engage, retire Trembling a little still, So blandly nodding Death and I Nearer and nearer march, At the click of night and the click of day - Click-clack! We approach, we approach! C. D. Andrews (b. 1913) British poet, scholar Death Men must endure Their going hence, even as their coming hither: Ripeness is all. Edgar, King Lear William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Death Yet nightly pitch my moving tent A day's march nearer home. James Montgomery (1771-1854) English poet Death I have a rendez-vous with Death At some disputed barricade. Alan Seeger (1888-1916) British soldier, poet Death O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? Saint Paul (3-67) Apostle to the Gentiles Death The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways - I to die and you to live. Which is the better, only God knows. Socrates (469-399 BC) Greek philosopher Death Death never takes the wise man by surprise, he is always ready to go. Jean de la Fontaine (1621-1695) French poet, fabulist Death Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. Ridgeon, The Doctor's Dilemma George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Death I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. Saint Paul (3-67) Apostle to the Gentiles Death And I saw, and behold, a pale horse: and he that sat upon him, his name was Death. John the Divine (b. 1st century AD) Apostle of Jesus Death Cheerio, see you soon. epitaph on a gravestone Death Death: Dying It is not death, but dying, which is terrible. Henry Fielding (1707-1754) English novelist, dramatist Death: Dying I do not believe that any man fears to be dead, but only the stroke of death. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist Death: Dying It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (b. 1935) American filmmaker Death: Dying It is certain that to most men the preparation for death has been a greater torment than the suffering of it. Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) French essayist, moralist Death: Dying To die is to leave off dying and do the thing once for all. Samuel Butler (1835-1902) English author Death: Dying I warmed both hands before the fire of life; It sinks and I am ready to depart. Walter Savage Landor (1775-1864) English author Death: Dying I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British statesman, writer on the eve of his 75th birthday Death: Dying Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rage at close of day; Rage, rage, against the dying of the light. Dylan Thomas (1914-1953) Welsh poet Death: Dying I will be conquered; I will not capitulate. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer in his last illness Death: Dying I die hard. But I am not afraid to go. George Washington (1732-1799) American president Death: Dying Truth sits upon the lips of dying men. Matthew Arnold (1822-1888) English poet, critic Death: Dying A certain amount of research on Last Dispatches from the edge of the tomb has been made, but I feel that there has always been a tendency on the part of the imminent mourner to tart the script up a bit. Cassandra, Sir William Connor (1909-1967) British journalist Death: Dying Nothing in his life Became him like the leaving it; he died As one that had been studied in his death To throw away the dearest thing he owed, As 'twere a careless trifle. Malcolm, Macbeth William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Death: Dying So that he seemed not to relinquish life, but to leave one home for another. Cornelius Nepos (b. 1st century BC) Roman historian, biographer Death: Dying Many men on the point of an edifying death would be furious if they were suddenly restored to health. Cesare Pavese (1908-1950) Italian novelist Death: Dying It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Death: Dying He had been, he said, an unconscionable time dying; but he hoped that they would excuse it. Charles II (1630-1685) King of Great Britain Death: Dying Authority forgets a dying king. Lord Tennyson (1809-1892) English poet Death: Dying We all of us waited for him to die. The family sent him a cheque every month, and hoped he'd get on with it quietly, without too much vulgar fuss. Jimmy, Look Back in Anger John Osborne (b. 1929) British playwright Death: Dying As virtuous men pass mildly away, And whisper to their souls to go, Whilst some of their sad friends do say The breath goes now, and some say no. John Donne (1572-1631) English divine, metaphysical poet Death: Dying I feel no pain dear mother now But oh, I am so dry! O take me to a brewery And leave me there to die. anonymous, 19th century Death: Dying We often congratulate ourselves at the moment of waking from a troubled dream; it may be so at the moment of death. Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864) American novelist Death: Dying Die, my dear doctor! That's the last thing I shall do! Lord Palmerston (1784-1865) English politician, prime minister Death: Dying He that dies pays all debts. Stephano, The Tempest William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Death: Dying Debauchery See: Orgies Punishment: Shaw It is the hour to be drunken! to escape being the martyred slaves of time, be ceaselessly drunk. On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish. Charles Baudelaire (1821-1867) French poet Debauchery My main problem is reconciling my gross habits with my net income. Errol Flynn (1909-1959) Irish-American film actor Debauchery An improper mind is a perpetual feast. Logan Pearsall Smith (1865-1946) Anglo-American essayist Debauchery His face was filled with broken commandments. John Masefield (1878-1967) English poet, playwright Debauchery Not joy, but joylessness, is the mother of debauchery. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher Debauchery Debts See: Death: Dying: Shakespeare In the midst of life we are in debt. Ethel Watts Mumford (1878-1940) American novelist, humorous writer Debts Small debts are like small shot; they are rattling on every side, and can scarcely be escaped without a wound; great debts are like cannon, of loud noise but little danger. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Debts Some people use one half their ingenuity to get into debt, and the other half to avoid paying it. George D. Prentice (1802-1870) American poet, journalist Debts Everybody in Vanity Fair must have remarked how well those live who are comfortably and thoroughly in debt; how they deny themselves nothing; how jolly and easy they are in their minds. William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863) English author Debts Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Debts A creditor is worse than a slave-owner; for the master owns only your person, but a creditor owns your dignity, and can command it. Victor Hugo (1802-1885) French poet, dramatist, novelist Debts They hired the money, didn't they? Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933) American president on Allies' repaying war debt Debts Creditors have better memories than debtors. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, writer Debts Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Debts No man's credit is as good as his money. Ed (E. W.) Howe (1853-1937) American journalist, novelist Debts There are but two ways of paying debt - increase of industry in raising income, increase of thrift in laying it out. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish writer Debts To John I ow'd great obligation; But John, unhappily, thought fit To publish it to all the nation: Sure John and I are more than quit. Matthew Prior (1664-1721) English poet, diplomat Debts Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them. 17th-century English proverb Debts Decisions See: Conferences: Galbraith Dinner Parties: Franklin Indecision It is always thus, impelled by a state of mind which is destined not to last, that we make our irrevocable decisions. Marcel Proust (1871-1922) French novelist Decisions Some of his decisions were accurate. A stopped watch is right twice a day. anonymous Decisions Decide promptly, but never give any reasons. Your decisions may be right, but your reasons are sure to be wrong. Lord Mansfield (1705-1793) Scottish judge Decisions The wrong way always seems the more reasonable. George Moore (1852-1933) Irish author Decisions Decisiveness is often the art of timely cruelty. Henri Becque (1837-1899) French playwright Decisions Decline See: Stardom: Addison Statesmen and beauties are very rarely sensible of the gradations of their decay. Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773) English statesman, man of letters Decline As favor and riches forsake a man, we discover in him the foolishness they concealed, and which no one perceived before. Jean de la Bruyere (1645-1696) French writer, moralist Decline Like our shadows, Our wishes lengthen as the sun declines. Edward Young (1683-1765) English poet, playwright Decline Decolonization See: Empire: Nehru Many politicians lay it down as a self-evident proposition that no people ought to be free until they are fit to use their freedom. The maxim is worthy of the fool in the old story who resolved not to go into the water until he had learned to swim. Lord Macaulay (1800-1859) English historian Decolonization To subtract from your own sovereignty in favour of a friend is much wiser than losing it all to an enemy. Sir Robert Menzies (1894-1978) Australian politician, prime minister Decolonization The wind of change is blowing through the continent. Whether we like it or not, this growth of national consciousness is a political fact.