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1993-02-18
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What It Says, and What It Really Means!
by Steven Peyrot
From ETPCUG The PC REGISTER via APCUG BBS
As a public service, let me provide you with a guide to translate some
of the common terminology discussed in computer stores and printed in
magazine ads to a more understandable level.
When it says.. It really means..
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All new It has not been tested.
Breakthrough The company actually got one to work!
Compact It might fit in the Rose bowl.
Cost effective For the manufacturer, of course!
Energy efficient Draws half power when shut off!
Lightweight Mostly plastic parts.
Low power consumption Compared to a Patriots game at night!
No maintenance required The parts can't be ajusted at all!
Easy repairs If the parts can be ordered!
New version Another color on the box.
Pat. Pending Cheap import, not approved!
Problem free Sold under "AS IS" assumption.
Reliability You can depend on it to break!
Revolutionary Less than 10% complaint record!
Rugged Weighs a ton!
Satisfaction Guaranteed To the dealer, if your check clears.
Simple Program To PhD in Computer Science
U.L. Listed Under "Hazardous"
Upgradable Upgrade will cost 75% of this one!
Back up Copy Included Protected Software
Customer Support Free junk mail for three years!
Rated #1, the best Just like the rest