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Part 8
The girls all this time did not in the least smoke the
mystery of this new customer; but Mrs. Cole, as soon as we
were conveniently alone, insur'd me, in virtue of her long
experience in these matters, that for this bout my charms had
not miss'd fire; for that by his eagerness, his manner and
looks, she was sure he had it: the only point now in doubt
was his character and circumstances, which her knowledge of
the town would soon gain her sufficient acquaintance with, to
take her measures upon.
And effectively, in a few hours, her intelligence serv'd
her so well that she learn'd that this conquest of mine was
no other than Mr. Norbert, a gentleman originally of great
fortune, which, with a constitution naturally not the best,
he had vastly impaired by his over-violent pursuit of the
vices of the town; in the course of which, having worn out
and stal'd all the more common modes of debauchery, he had
fallen into a taste of maiden-hunting; in which chase he had
ruin'd a number of girls, sparing no expence to compass his
ends, and generally using them well till tired, or cool'd by
enjoyment, or springing a new face, he could with more ease
disembarrass himself of the old ones, and resign them to
their fate, as his sphere of achievements of that sort lay
only amongst such as he could proceed with by way of bargain
and sale.
Concluding from these premises, Mrs. Cole observ'd that
a character of this sort was ever a lawful prize; that the
sin would be, not to make the best of our market of him; and
that she thought such a girl as I only too good for him at
any rate, and on any terms.
She went then, at the hour appointed, to his lodgings in
one of our inns of court, which were furnished in a taste of
grandeur that had a special eye to all the conveniences of
luxury and pleasure. Here she found him in ready waiting;
and after finishing her pretence of business, and a long
circuit of discussions concerning her trade, which she said
was very bad, the qualities of her servants, 'prentices,
journey-women, the discourse naturally landed at length on
me, when Mrs. Cole, acting admirably the good old prating
gossip, who lets every thing escape her when her tongue is
set in motion, cooked him up a story so plausible of me,
throwing in every now and then such strokes of art, with all
the simplest air of nature, in praise of my person and tem-
per, as finished him finely for her purpose, whilst nothing
could be better counterfeited than her innocence of his. But
when now fired and on edge, he proceeded to drop hints of his
design and views upon me, after he had with much confusion
and pains brought her to the point (she kept as long aloof
from as she thought proper) of understanding him, without now
affecting to pass for a dragoness of virtue, by flying out
into those violent and ever suspicious passions, she stuck
with the better grace and effect to the character of a plain,
good sort of a woman, that knew no harm, and that getting her
bread in an honest way, was made of stuff easy and flexible
enough to be wrought upon to his ends, by his superior skill
and address; but, however, she managed so artfully that three
or four meetings took place before he could obtain the least
favourable hope of her assistance; without which, he had, by
a number of fruitless messages, letters, and other direct
trials of my disposition, convinced himself there was no
coming at me, all which too rais'd at once my character and
price with him.
Regardful, however, of not carrying these difficulties
to such a length as might afford time for starting discov-
eries, or incidents, unfavourable to her plan, she at last
pretended to be won over by mere dint of entreaties, pro-
mises, and, above all, by the dazzling sum she took care to
wind him up to the specification of, when it was now even a
piece of art to feign, at once, a yielding to the allurements
of a great interest, as a pretext for her yielding at all,
and the manner of it such as might persuade him she had never
dipp'd her virtuous fingers in an affair of that sort.
Thus she led him through all the gradations of diffi-
culty, and obstacles, necessary to enhance the balue of the
prize he aim'd at; and in conclusion, he was so struck with
the little beauty I was mistress of, and so eagerly bent on
gaining his ends of me, that he left her even no room to
boast of her management in bringing him up to her mark, he
drove so plum of himself into every thing tending to make him
swallow the bait. Not but, in other respects, Mr. Norbert
was not clear sighted enough, or that he did not perfectly
know the town, and even by experience, the very branch of
imposition now in practice upon him: but we had his passion
our friend so much, he was so blinded and hurried on by it,
that he would have thought any undeception a very ill office
done to his pleasure. Thus concurring, even precipitately,
to the point she wanted him at, Mrs. Cole brought him at last
to hug himself on the cheap bargain he consider'd the pur-
chase of my imaginary jewel was to him, at no more than three
hundred guineas to myself, and a hundred to the brokeress:
being a slender recompense for all her pains, and all the
scruples of conscience she had now sacrificed to him for this
the first time of her life; which sums were to be paid down
on the nail, upon livery of my person, exclusive of some no
inconsiderable presents that had been made in the course of
the negotiation: during which I had occasionally, but spar-
ingly been introduc'd inbto his company, at proper times and
hours; in which it is incredible how little it seem'd neces-
sary to strain my natural disposition to modesty higher, in
order to pass it upon him for that of a very maid: all my
looks and gestures ever breathing nothing but that innocence
which the men so ardently require in us, for no other end
than to feast themselves with the pleasures of destroying it,
and which they are so grievously, with all their skill, sub-
ject to mistakes in.
When the articles of the treaty had been fully agreed
on, the stipulated payments duly secur'd, and nothing now
remained but the execution of the main point, which center'd
in the surrender of my person up to his free disposal and
use, Mrs. Cole managed her objections, especially to his
lodgings, and insinuations so nicely, that it became his own
mere notion and urgent request that this copy of a wedding
should be finish'd at her house: At first, indeed, she did
not care, said she, to have such doings in it . . . she
would not for a thousand pounds have any of the servants or
'prentices know it . . . her precious good name would be gone
forever--with the like excuses. However, on superior objec-
tions to all other expedients, whilst she took care to start
none but those which were most liable to them, it came round
at last to the necessity of her obliging him in that conveni-
ency, and of doing a little more where she had already done
so much.
The night then was fix'd, with all possible respect to
the eagerness of his impatience, and in the mean time Mrs.
Cole had omitted no instructions, nor even neglected any
preparation, that might enable me to come off with honour,
in regard to the appearance of my virginity, except that,
favour'd as I was by nature with all the narrowness of
stricture in that part requisite to conduct my designs, I
had no occasion to borrow those auxiliaries of art that
create a momentary one, easily discover'd by the test of a
warm bath; and as to the usual sanguinary symptoms of de-
floration, which, if not always, are generally attendants on
it, Mrs. Cole had made me the mistress of an invention of her
own which could hardly miss its effect, and of which more in
its place.
Everything then being disposed and fix'd for Mr. Nor-
bert's reception, he was, at the hour of eleven at night,
with all the mysteries of silence and secrecy, let in by Mrs.
Cole herself, and introduced into her bed-chamber, where, in
an old-fashioned bed of her's, I lay, fully undressed, and
panting, if not with the fears of a real maid, at least with
those perhaps greater of a dissembled one which gave me an
air of confusion and bashfulness that maiden-modesty had all
the honour of, and was indeed scarce distinguishable from
it, even by less partial eyes than those of my lover: so let
me call him, for I ever thought the term "cully" too cruel a
reproach to the men for their abused weakness for us.
As soon as Mrs. Cole, after the old gossipery, on these
occasions, us'd to young women abandoned for the first time
to the will of man, had left us alone in her room, which, by-
the-bye, was well lighted up, at his previous desire, that
seemed to bode a stricter examination that he afterwards
made, Mr. Norbert, still dressed, sprung towards the bed,
where I got my head under the cloaths, and defended them a
good while before he could even get at my lips, to kiss them:
so true it is, that a false virtue, on this occasion, even
makes a greater rout and resistance than a true one. From
thence he descended to my breasts, the feel I disputed tooth
and nail with him till, tired with my resistance, and think-
ing probably to give a better account of me, when got into
bed to me, the hurry'd his cloaths off in an instant, and
came into bed.
Mean while, by the glimpse I stole of him, I could
easily discover a person far from promising any such doughty
performances as the storming of maidenheads generally re-
quires, and whose flimsy consumptive texture gave him more
the air of an invalid that was pressed, than of a volunteer,
on such hot service.
At scarce thirty, he had already reduced his strength of
appetite down to a wretched dependence on forc'd provocatives,
very little seconded by the natural power of a body jaded and
racked off to the lees by constant repeated over-draughts of
pleasure, which had done the work of sixty winters on his
springs of life: leaving him at the same time all the fire
and heat of youth in his imagination, which served at once to
torment and spur him down the precipice.
As soon as he was in bed, he threw off the bed-cloaths,
which I suffered him to force from my hold, and I now lay as
expos'd as he could wish, not only to his attacks, but his
visitation of the sheets; where in the various agitations of
the body, through my endeavours to defend myself, he could
easily assure himself there was no preparation: though, to do
him justice, he seem'd a less strict examinant than I had
apprehended from so experienc'd a practitioner. My shift
then he fairly tore open, finding I made too much use of it
to barricade my breasts, as well as the more important
avenue: yet in every thing else he proceeded with all the
marks of tenderness and regard to me, whilst the art of my
play was to shew none for him. I acted then all the nice-
ties, apprehensions, and terrors supposable for a girl per-
fectly innocent to feel at so great a novelty as a naked man
in bed with her for the first time. He scarce even obtained
a kiss but what he ravished; I put his hand away twenty times
from my breasts, where he had satisfied himself of their
hardness and consistence, with passing for hitherto unhandled
goods. But when grown impatient for the main point, he now
threw himself upon me, and first trying to examine me with
his finger, sought to make himself further way, I complained
of his usage bitterly: I thought he would not have serv'd a
body so . . . I was ruin'd . . . I did not know what I had
done . . . I would get up, so I would . . .; and at the same
time kept my thighs so fast locked, that it was not for
strength like his to force them open, or do any good. Find-
ing thus my advantages, and that I had both my own and his
motions at command, the deceiving him came so easy that it
was perfectly playing upon velvet. In the mean time his
machine, which was one of those sizes that slip in and out
without being minded, kept pretty stiffly bearing against
that part, which the shutting my thighs barr'd access to; but
finding, at length, he could do no good by mere dint of
bodily strength, he resorted to entreaties and arguments: to
which I only answer'd with a tone of shame and timidity, that
I was afraid he would kill me . . . Lord! . . ., I would not
be served so . . . I was never so used in all my born days .
. . I wondered he was not ashamed of himself, so I did . . .,
with such silly infantile moods of repulse and complaint as I
judged best adapted to the express the character of innocence
and affright. Pretending, however, to yield at length to the
vehemence of his insistence, in action and words, I sparingly
disclosed my thighs, so that he could just touch the cloven
inlet with the tip of his instrument: but as he fatigued and
toil'd to get it in, a twist of my body, so as to receive it
obliquely, not only thwarted his admission, but giving a
scream, as if he had pierced me to the heart, I shook him off
me with such violence that he could not with all his might to
it, keep the saddle: vex'd indeed at this he seemed, but not
in the style of any displeasure with me for my skittishness;
on the contrary, I dare swear he held me the dearer, and
hugged himself for the difficulties that even hurt his
instant pleasure. Fired, however, now beyond all bearance of
delay, he remounts and begg'd of me to have patience, strok-
ing and soothing me to it by all the tenderest endearments
and protestations of what he would moreover do for me; at
which, feigning to be something softened, and abating of the
anger that I had shewn at his hurting me so prodigiously, I
suffered him to lay my thighs aside, and make way for a new
trial; but I watched the directions and management of his
point so well, that no sooner was the orifice in the least
open to it, but I gave such a timely jerk as seemed to pro-
ceed not from the evasion of his entry, but from the pain his
efforts at it put me to: a circumstance too that I did not
fail to accompany with proper gestures, sighs and cries of
complaint, of which that he had hurt me . . . he kill'd me .
. . I should die . . ., were the most frequent interjections.
But now, after repeated attempts, in which he had not made
the least impression towards gaining his point, at least for
that time, the pleasure rose so fast upon him that he could
not check or delay it, and in the vigour and fury which the
approaches of the height of it inspir'd him, he made one
fierce thrust, that had almost put me by my guard, and
lodged it so far that I could feel the warm inspersion just
within the exterior orifice, which I had the cruelty not to
let him finish there, but threw him out again, not without a
most piercing loud exclamation, as if the pain had put me
beyond all regard of being overheard. It was easy then to
observe that he was more satisfy'd, more highly pleased with
the supposed motives of his baulk of consummation, than he
would have been at the full attainment of it. It was on
this foot that I solved to myself all the falsity I employed
to procure him that blissful pleasure in it, which most
certainly he would not have tasted in the truth of things.
Eas'd however, and relieved by one discharge, he now apply'd
himself to sooth, encourage and to put me into humour and
patience to bear his next attempt, which he began to prepare
and gather force for, from all the incentives of the touch
and sight which he could think of, by examining every indi-
vidual part of my whole body, which he declared his satis-
faction with in raptures of applauses, kisses universally
imprinted, and sparing no part of me, in all the eagerest
wantonness of feeling, seeing, and toying. His vigour how-
ever did not return so soon, and I felt him more than once
pushing at the door, but so little in a condition to break
in, that I question whether he had the power to enter, had I
held it ever so open; but this he then thought me too little
acquainted with the nature of things to have any regret or
confusion about, and he kept fatiguing himself and me for a
long time, before he was in any state to resume his attacks
with any prospect of success; and then I breath'd him so
warmly, and kept him so at bay, that before he had made any
sensible progress in point of penetration, he was deliciously
sweated, and weary'd out indeed: so that it was deep in the
morning before he achieved his second let-go, about half way
of entrance, I all the while crying and complaining of his
prodigious vigour, and the immensity of what I appear'd to
suffer splitting up with. Tired, however, at length, with
such athletic drudgery, my champion began now to give out,
and to gladly embrace the refreshment of some rest. Kissing
me then with much affection, and recommending me to my
repose, he presently fell fast asleep: which, as soon as I
had well satisfy'd myself of, I with much composure of body,
so as not to wake him by any motion, with much ease and
safety too, played of Mrs. Cole's advice for perfecting the
signs of my virginity.
In each of the head bed-posts, just above where the bed-
steads are inserted into them, there was a small drawer, so
artfully adapted to the mouldings of the timber-work, that it
might have escap'd even the most curious search: which
drawers were easily open'd or shut by the touch of a spring,
and were fitted each with a shallow glass tumbler, full of a
prepared fluid blood, in which lay soak'd, for ready use, a
sponge that required no more than gently reaching the hand to
it, taking it out and properly squeezing between the thighs,
when it yielded a great deal more of the red liquid than
would save a girl's honour; after which, replacing it, and
touching the spring, all possibility of discovery, or even of
suspicion, was taken away; and all this was not the work of
the fourth part of a minute, and on which ever side one lay,
the thing was equally easy and practicable, by the double
care taken to have each bed-post provided alike. True it is,
that had he waked and caught me in the act, it would at least
have covered me with shame and confusion; but then, that he
did not, was, with the precautions I took, a risk of a thou-
sand to one in my favour.
At ease now, and out of all fear of any doubt or sus-
picion on his side, I address'd myself in good earnest to my
repose, but could obtain none; and in about half an hour's
time my gentleman waked again, and turning towards me, I
feigned a sound sleep, which he did not long respect; but
girding himself again to renew the onset, he began to kiss
and caress me, when now making as if I just wak'd, I com-
plained of the disturbance, and of the cruel pain that this
little rest had stole my senses from. Eager, however, for
the pleasure, as well of consummating an entire triumph over
my virginity, he said everything that could overcome my
resistance, and bribe my patience to the end, which not I was
ready to listen to, from being secure of the bloody proofs I
had prepared of his victorious violence, though I still
thought it good policy not to let him in yet a while. I
answered then only to his importunities in sighs and moans
that I was so hurt, I could not bear it . . . I was sure he
had done me a mischief; that he had . . . he was such a sad
man! At this, turning down the cloaths and viewing the field
of battle by the glimmer of a dying taper, he saw plainly my
thighs, shift, and sheets, all stained with what he readily
took for a virgin effusion, proceeding from his last half-
penetration: convinc'd, and transported at which, nothing
could equal his joy and exultation. The illusion was com-
plete, no other conception entered his head but that of his
having been at work upon an unopen'd mine; which idea, upon
so strong an evidence, redoubled at once his tenderness for
me, and his ardour for breaking it wholly up. Kissing me
then with the utmost rapture, he comforted me, and begg'd my
pardon for the pain he had put me to: observing withal, that
it was only a thing in course: but the worst was certainly
past, and that with a little courage and constancy, I should
get it once well over, and never after experience any thing
but the greatest pleasure. By little and little I suffer'd
myself to be prevailed on, and giving, as it were, up the
point to him, I made my thighs, insensibly spreading them,
yield him liberty of access, which improving, he got a
little within me, when by a well managed reception I work'd
the female screw so nicely, that I kept him from the easy
mid-channel direction, and by dextrous wreathing and contor-
tions, creating an artificial difficulty of entrance, made
him win it inch by inch, with the most laborious struggles,
I all the while sorely complaining: till at length, with
might and main, winding his way in, he got it completely
home, and giving my virginity, as he thought, the coup de
grace, furnished me with the cue of setting up a terrible
outcry, whilst he, triumphant and like a cock clapping his
wings over his down-trod mistress, pursu'd his pleasure:
which presently rose, in virtue of this idea of a complete
victory, to a pitch that made me soon sensible of his melt-
ing period; whilst I now lay acting the deep wounded,breath-
less, frighten'd, undone, no longer maid.
You would ask me, perhaps, whether all this time I
enjoy'd any perception of pleasure? I assure you, little or
none, till just towards the latter end, a faintish sense of
it came on mechanically, from so long a struggle and frequent
fret in that ever sensible part; but, in the first place, I
had no taste for the person I was suffering the embraces of,
on a pure mercenary account; and then, I was not entirely
delighted with myself for the jade's part I was playing,
whatever excuses I might have to plead for my being brought
into it; but then this insensibility kept me so much the
mistress of my mind and motions, that I could the better
manage so close a counterfeit, through the whole scene of
deception.
Recover'd at length to a more shew of life, by his ten-
der condolences, kisses and embraces, I upbraided him, and
reproach'd him with my ruin, in such natural terms as added
to his satisfaction with himself for having accomplish'd it;
and guessing, by certain observations of mine, that it would
be rather favourable to him, to spare him, when he some time
after, feebly enough, came on again to the assault, I reso-
lutely withstood any further endeavours, on a pretext that
flattered his prowess, of my being so violently hurt and sore
that I could not possibly endure a fresh trial. He then gra-
ciously granted me a respite, and the next morning soon after
advancing, I got rid of further importunity, till Mrs. Cole,
being rang for by him, came in and was made acquainted, in
terms of the utmost joy and rapture, with his triumphant cer-
tainty of my virtue, and the finishing stroke he had given it
in the course of the night: of which, he added, she would see
proof enough in bloody characters on the sheets.
You may guess how a woman of her turn of address and
experience humour'd the jest, and played him off with mixed
exclamations of shame, anger, compassion for me, and of her
being pleased that all was so well over: in which last, I
believe, she was certainly sincere. And now, as the objec-
tion which she had represented as an invincible one, to my
lying the first night at his lodgings (which were studiously
calculated for freedom of intrigues), on the account of my
maiden fears and terrors at the thoughts of going to a
gentleman's chambers, and being alone with him in bed, was
surmounted, she pretended to persuade me, in favour to him,
that I should go there to him whenever he pleas'd, and still
keep up all the necessary appearances of working with her,
that I might not lose, with my character, the prospect of
getting a good husband, and at the same time her house would
be kept the safer from scandal. All this seem'd so reason-
able, so considerate to Mr. Norbert, that he never once per-
ceived that she did not want him to resort to her house, lest
he might in time discover certain inconsistencies with the
character she had set out with to him: besides that, this
plan greatly flattered his own ease, and views of liberty.
Leaving me then to my much wanted rest, he got up, and
Mrs. Cole, after settling with him all points relating to me,
got him undiscovered out of the house. After which, as I was
awake, she came in and gave me due praises for my success.
Behaving too with her usual moderation and disinterestedness,
she refus'd any share of the sum I had thus earned, and put
me into such a secure and easy way of disposing of my af-
fairs, which now amounted to a kind of little fortune, that
a child of ten years old might have kept the account and
property of them safe in its hands.
I was now restor'd again to my former state of a kept
mistress, and used punctually to wait on Mr. Norbert at his
chambers whenever he sent a messenger for me, which I con-
stantly took care to be in the way of, and manag'd with so
much caution that he never once penetrated the nature of my
connections with Mrs. Cole; but indolently given up to ease
and the town dissipations, the perpetual hurry of them hin-
der'd him from looking into his own affairs, much less to
mine.
In the mean time, if I may judge from my own experience,
none are better paid, or better treated, during their reign,
than the mistresses of those who, enervate by nature, debauc-
heries, or age, have the least employment for the sex: sen-
sible that a woman must be satisfy'd some way, they ply her
with a thousand little tender attentions, presents, caresses,
confidences, and exhaust their inventions in means and de-
vices to make up for the capital deficiency; and even towards
lessening that, what arts, what modes, what refinements of
pleasure have they not recourse to, to raise their languid
powers, and press nature into the service of their sensu-
ality? But here is their misfortune, that when by a course
of teasing, worrying, handling, wanton postures, lascivious
motions, they have at length accomplish'd a flashy enervate
enjoyment, they at the same time lighted up a flame in the
object of their passion, that, not having the means them-
selves to quench, drives her for relief into the next per-
son's arms, who can finish their work; and thus they become
bawds to some favourite, tried and approv'd of, for a more
vigourous and satisfactory execution; for with women, of our
turn especially, however well our hearts may be dispos'd,
there is a controlling part, or queen seat in us, that
governs itself by its own maxims of state, amongst which not
one is stronger, in practice with it, than, in the matter of
its dues, never to accept the will for the deed.
Mr. Norbert, who was much in this ungracious case,
though he profess'd to like me extremely, could but seldom
consummate the main-joy itself with me, without such a length
and variety of preparations, as were at once wearisome and
inflammatory.
Sometimes he would strip me stark naked on a carpet, by
a good fire, when he would contemplate me almost by the hour,
disposing me in all the figures and attitudes of body that it
was susceptible of being viewed in; kissing me in every part,
the most secret and critical one so far from excepted that it
received most of that branch of homage. Then his touches
were so exquisitely wanton, so luxuriously diffus'd and pene-
trative at times, that he had made me perfectly rage with
titillating fires, when, after all, and with much ado, he had
gained a short-lived erection, he would perhaps melt it away
in a washy sweat, or a premature abortive effusion that pro-
vokingly mock'd my eager desires: or, if carried home, how
falter'd and unnervous the execution! how insufficient the
sprinkle of a few heat-drops to extinguish all the flames he
had kindled!
One evening, I cannot help remembering that returning
home from him, with a spirit he had raised in a circle his
wand had prov'd too weak to lay, as I turn'd the corner of a
street, I was overtaken by a young sailor. I was then in
that spruce, neat, plain dress which I ever affected, and
perhaps might have, in my trip, a certain air of restless-
ness unknown to the composure of cooler thoughts. However,
he seiz'd me as a prize, and without farther ceremony threw
his arms round my neck and kiss'd me boisterously and
sweetly. I looked at him with a beginning of anger and
indignation at his rudeness, that softened away into other
sentiments as I viewed him: for he was tall, manly carri-
aged, handsome of body and face, so that I ended my stare
with asking him, in a tone turn'd to tenderness, what he
meant; at which, with the same frankness and vivacity as he
had begun with me, he proposed treating me with a glass of
wine. Now, certain it is, that had I been in a calmer state
of blood than I was, had I not been under the dominion of
unappeas'd irritations and desires, I should have refused
him without hesitation; but I do not know how it was, my
pressing calls, his figure, the occasion, and if you will,
the powerful combination of all these, with a start of
curiosity to see the end of an adventure, so novel too as
being treated like a common street-plyer, made me give a
silent consent; in short, it was not my head that I now
obeyed, I suffered myself to be towed along as it were by
this man-of-war, who took me under his arm as familiarly as
if he had known me all his life-time, and led me into the
next convenient tavern, where we were shewn into a little
room on one side of the passage. Here, scarce allowing him-
self patience till the waiter brought in the wine call'd for,
he fell directly on board me: when, untucking my handker-
chief, and giving me a snatching buss, he laid my breasts
bare at once, which he handled with that keenness of lust
that abridges a ceremonial ever more tiresome than pleasing
on such pressing occasions; and now, hurrying towards the
main point, we found no conveniency to our purpose, two or
three disabled chairs and a rickety table composing the whole
furniture of the room. Without more ado, he plants me with
my back standing against the wall, and my petticoats up; and
coming out with a splitter indeed, made it shine, as he
brandished it in my eyes; and going to work with an impetu-
osity and eagerness, bred very likely by a long fast at sea,
went ot give me a taste of it. I straddled, I humoured my
posture, and did my best in short to buckle to it; I took
part of it in too, but still things did not go to his thor-
ough liking: changing then in a trice his system of battery,
he leads me to the table and with a master-hand lays my head
down on the edge of it, and, with the other canting up my
petticoats and shift, bares my naked posteriours to his blind
and furious guide; it forces its way between them, and I
feeling pretty sensibly that it was not going by the right
door, and knocking desperately at the wrong one, I told him
of it: -"Pooh!" says he, "my dear, any port in a storm."
Altering, however, directly his course, and lowering his
point, he fixed it right, and driving it up with a delicious
stiffness, made all foam again, and gave me the tout with
such fire and spirit, that in the fine disposition I was in
when I submitted to him, and stirr'd up so fiercely as I
was, I got the start of him, and went away into the melting
swoon, and squeezing him, whilst in the convulsive grasp of
it, drew from him such a plenteous bedewal as, join'd to my
own effusion, perfectly floated those parts, and drown'd in
a deluge all my raging conflagration of desire.
When this was over, how to make my retreat was my con-
cern; for, though I had been so extremely pleas'd with the
difference between this warm broadside, pour'd so briskly
into me, and the tiresome pawing and toying to which I had
owed the unappeas'd flames that had driven me into this step,
now I was grown cooler, I began to apprehend the danger of
contracting an acquaintance with this, however agreeable,
stranger; who, on his side, spoke of passing the evening with
me and continuing our intimacy, with an air of determination
that made me afraid of its being not so easy to get away from
him as I could wish. In the mean time I carefully conceal'd
my uneasiness, and readily pretended to consent to stay with
him, telling him I should only step to my lodgings to leave
a necessary direction, and then instantly return. This he
very glibly swallowed, on the notion of my being one of those
unhappy street-errants who devote themselves to the pleasure
of the first ruffian that will stoop to pick them up, and of
course, that I would scarce bilk myself of my hire, by my not
returning to make the most of the job. Thus he parted with
me, not before, however, he had order'd in my hearing a
supper, which I had the barbarity to disappoint him of my
company to.
But when I got home and told Mrs. Cole my adventure, she
represented so strongly to me the nature and dangerous conse-
quences of my folly, particularly the risks to my health, in
being so open-legg'd and free, that I not only took resolu-
tions never to venture so rashly again, which I inviolably
preserv'd, but pass'd a good many days in continual uneasi-
ness lest I should have met with other reasons, besides the
pleasure of that encounter, to remember it; but these fears
wronged my pretty sailor, for which I gladly make him this
reparation.
I had now liv'd with Mr. Norbert near a quarter of a
year, in which space I circulated my time very pleasantly
between my amusements at Mrs. Cole's, and a proper attendance
on that gentleman, who paid me profusely for the unlimited
complaisance with which I passively humoured every caprice of
pleasure, and which had won upon him so greatly, that find-
ing, as he said, all that variety in me alone which he had
sought for in a number of women, I had made him lose his
taste for inconstancy, and new faces. But what was yet at
least agreeable, as well as more flattering, the love I had
inspir'd him with bred a deference to me that was of great
service to his health: for having by degrees, and with most
pathetic representations, brought him to some husbandry of
it, and to insure the duration of his pleasures by moderat-
ing their use, and correcting those excesses in them he was
so addicted to, and which had shatter'd his constitution and
destroyed his powers of life in the very point for which he
seemed chiefly desirous, to live, he was grown more delicate,
more temperate, and in course more healthy; his gratitude
for which was taking a turn very favourable for my fortune,
when once more the caprice of it dash'd the cup from my lips.
His sister, Lady L . . ., for whom he had a great affec-
tion, desiring him to accompany her down to Bath for her
health, he could not refuse her such a favour; and accord-
ingly, though he counted on staying away from me no more than
a week at farthest, he took his leave of me with an ominous
heaviness of heart, and left me a sum far above the state of
his fortune, and very inconsistent with the intended short-
ness of his journey; but it ended in the longest that can be,
and is never but once taken: for, arriv'd at Bath, he was not
there two days before he fell into a debauch of drinking with
some gentlemen, that threw him into a high fever and carry'd
him off in four days time, never once out of a delirium. Had
he been in his senses to make a will, perhaps he might have
made favourable mention of me in it. Thus, however, I lost
him; and as no condition of life is more subject to revolu-
tions than that of a woman of pleasure, I soon recover'd my
cheerfulness, and now beheld myself once more struck off the
list of kept-mistresses, and returned into the bosom of the
community from which I had been in some manner taken.
Mrs. Cole still continuing her friendship, offered me
her assistance and advice towards another choice; but I was
now in ease and affluence enough to look about me at lei-
sure; and as to any constitutional calls of pleasure, their
pressure, or sensibility, was greatly lessen'd by a consci-
ousness of the ease with which they were to be satisfy'd at
Mrs. Cole's house, where Louisa and Emily still continu'd in
the old way; and by great favourite Harriet used often to
come and see me, and entertain me, with her head and heart
full of the happiness she enjoy'd with her dear baronet,
whom she loved with tenderness, and constancy, even though
he was her keeper, and what is yet more, had made her inde-
pendent, by a handsome provision for her and hers. I was
then in this vacancy from any regular employ of my person, in
my way of business, when one day, Mrs. Cole, in the course of
the constant confidence we lived in, acquainted me that there
was one Mr. Barville, who used her house, just come to town,
whom she was not a little perplex'd about providing a suit-
able companion for; which was indeed a point of difficulty,
as he was under the tyranny of a cruel taste: that of an
ardent desire, not only of being unmercifully whipp'd him-
self, but of whipping others, in such sort, that tho' he paid
extravagantly those who had the courage and complaisance to
submit to his humour, there were few, delicate as he was in
the choice of his subjects, who would exchange turns with him
so terrible at the expense of their skin. But, what yet in-
creased the oddity of this strange fancy was the gentleman
being young; whereas it generally attacks, it seems, such as
are, through age, obliged to have recourse to this experi-
ment, for quickening the circulation of their sluggish
juices, and determining a conflux of the spirits of pleasure
towards those flagging, shrivelly parts, that rise to life
only by virtue of those titillating ardours created by the
discipline of their opposites, with which they have so sur-
prising a consent.
This Mrs. Cole could not well acquaint me with, in any
expectation of my offering my service: for, sufficiently easy
as I was in my circumstances, it must have been the tempta-
tion of an immense interest indeed that could have induced me
to embrace such a job; neither had I ever express'd, nor in-
deed felt, the least impulse or curiosity to know more of a
taste that promis'd so much more pain than pleasure to those
that stood in no need of such violent goads: what then should
move me to subscribe myself voluntarily to a party of pain,
foreknowing it such? Why, to tell the plain truth, it was a
sudden caprice, a gust of fancy for trying a new experiment,
mix'd with the vanity of proving my personal courage to Mrs.
Cole, that determined me, at all risks, to propose myself to
her, and relieve her from any farther lookout. Accordingly,
I at once pleas'd and surpris'd her with a frank and unre-
served tender of my person to her, and her friend's absolute
disposal on this occasion.
My good temporal mother was, however, so kind as to use
all the arguments she could imagine to dissuade me: but, as
I found they only turn'd on a motive of tnederness to me, I
persisted in my resolution, and thereby acquitted my offer of
any suspicion of its not having been sincerely made, or out
of compliment only. Acquiescing then thankfully in it, Mrs.
Cole assur'd me that bating the pain I should be put to, she
had no scruple to engage me to this party, which she assur'd
me I should be liberally paid for, and which, the secrecy of
the transaction preserved safe from the ridicule that other-
wise vulgarly attended it; that for her part, she considered
pleasure, of one sort or other, as the universal port of
destination, and every wind that blew thither a good one,
provided it blew nobody any harm; that she rather compas-
sionated, than blam'd, those unhappy persons who are under a
subjection they cannot shake off, to those arbitrary tastes
that rule their appetites of pleasures with an unaccountable
control: tastes, too, as infinitely deversify'd, as superior
to, and independent of, all reasoning as the different re-
lishes or palates of mankind in their viands, some delicate
stomachs nauseating plain meats, and finding no savour but in
high-seasoned, luxurious dishes, whilst others again pique
themselves upon detesting them.
I stood now in no need of this preamble of encourage-
ment, of justification: my word was given, and I was deter-
min'd to fulfil my engagements. Accordingly the night was
set, and I had all the necessary previous instructions how to
act and conduct myself. The dining-room was duly prepared
and lighted up, and the young gentleman posted there in wait-
ing, for my introduction to him.
I was then, by Mrs. Cole, brought in, and presented to
him, in a loose dishabille fitted, by her direction, to the
exercise I was to go through, all in the finest linen and a
thorough white uniform: gown, petticoat, stockings, and satin
slippers, like a victim led to sacrifice; whilst my dark
auburn hair, falling in drop-curls over my neck, created a
pleasing distinction of colour from the rest of my dress.
As soon as Mr. Barville saw me, he got up, with a visi-
ble air of pleasure and surprize, and saluting me, asked Mrs.
Cole if it was possible that so fine and delicate a creature
would voluntarily submit to such sufferings and rigours as
were the subject of his assignation. She answer'd him pro-
perly, and now, reading in his eyes that she could not too
soon leave us together, she went out, after recommending to
him to use moderation with so tender a novice.
But whilst she was employing his attention, mine had
been taken up with examining the figure and person of this
unhappy young gentleman, who was thus unaccountably condemn'd
to have his pleasure lashed into him, as boys have their
learning.
He was exceedingly fair, and smooth complexion'd, and
appeared to me no more than twenty at most, tho' he was three
years older than what my conjectures gave him; but then he
ow'd this favourable mistake to a habit of fatness, which
spread through a short, squab stature, and a round, plump,
fresh-coloured face gave him greatly the look of a Bacchus,
had not an air of austerity, not to say sternness, very un-
suitable even to his shape of face, dash'd that character of
joy, necessary to complete the resemblance. His dress was
extremely neat, but plain, and far inferior to the ample for-
tune he was in full possession of; this too was a taste in
him, and not avarice.
As soon as Mrs. Cole was gone, he seated me near him,
when now his face changed upon me into an expression of the
most pleasing sweetness and good humour, the more remarkable
for its sudden shift from the other extreme, which, I found
afterwards, when I knew more of his character, was owing to
a habitual state of conflict with, and dislike of himself,
for being enslaved to so peculiar a gust, by the fatality of
a constitutional ascendant, that render'd him incapable of
receiving any pleasure till he submitted to these extraordi-
nary means of procuring it at the hands of pain, whilst the
constancy of this repining consciousness stamp'd at length
that cast of sourness and severity on his features: which
was, in fact, very foreign to the natural sweetness of his
temper.
After a competent preparation by apologies, and en-
couragement to go through my part with spirit and constancy,
he stood up near the fire, whilst I went to fetch the in-
struments of discipline out of a closet hard by: these were
several rods, made each of two or three strong twigs of birch
tied together, which he took, handled, and view'd with as
much pleasure, as I did with a kind of shuddering presage.
Next we took from the side of the room a long broad
bench, made easy to lie at length on by a soft cushion in a
callico-cover; and every thing being now ready, he took his
coat and waistcoat off; and at his motion and desire, I un-
button'd his breeches, and rolling up his shirt rather above
his waist, tuck'd it in securely there: when directing natur-
ally my eyes to that humoursome master-movement, in whose
favour all these dispositions were making, it seemed almost
shrunk into his body, scarce shewing its tip above the sprout
of hairy curls that cloathed those parts, as you may have
seen a wren peep its head out of the grass.
Stooping then to untie his garters, he gave them me for
the use of tying him down to the legs of the bench: a cir-
cumstance no farther necessary than, as I suppose, it made
part of the humour of the thing, since he prescribed it to
himself, amongst the rest of the ceremonial.
I led him then to the bench, and according to my cue,
play'd at forcing him to lie down: which, after some little
shew of reluctance, for form-sake, he submitted to; he was
straightway extended flat upon his belly, on the bench, with
a pillow under his face; and as he thus tamely lay, I tied
him slightly hand and foot, to the legs of it; which done,
his shirt remaining truss'd up over the small of his back, I
drew his breeches quite down to his knees; and now he lay,
in all the fairest, broadest display of that part of the
back-view; in which a pair of chubby, smooth-cheek'd and
passing white posteriours rose cushioning upwards from two
stout, fleshful thighs, and ending their cleft, or separa-
tion by an union at the small of the back, presented a bold
mark, that swell'd, as it were, to meet the scourge.
Seizing now one of the rods, I stood over him, and
according to his direction, gave him in one breath, ten
lashes with much good-will, and the utmost nerve and vigour
of arm that I could put to them, so as to make those fleshy
orbs quiver again under them; whilst he himself seem'd no
more concern'd, or to mind them, than a lobster would a flea-
bite. In the mean time, I viewed intently the effects of
them, which to me at least appear'd surprisingly cruel: every
lash had skimmed the surface of those white cliffs, which
they deeply reddened, and lapping round the side of the fur-
thermost from me, cut specially, into the dimple of it such
livid weals, as the blood either spun out from, or stood in
large drops on; and, from some of the cuts, I picked out even
the splinters of the rod that had stuck in the skin. Nor was
this raw work to be wonder'd at, considering the greenness of
the twigs and the severity of the infliction, whilst the
whole surface of his skin was so smooth-stretched over the
hard and firm pulp of flesh that fill'd it, as to yield no
play, or elusive swagging under the stroke: which thereby
took place the more plum, and cut into the quick.
I was however already so mov'd at the piteous sight,
that I from my heart repented the undertaking, and would
willingly have given over, thinking he had full enough; but,
he encouraging and beseeching me earnestly to proceed, I gave
him ten more lashes; and then resting, survey'd the increase
of bloody appearances. And at length, steel'd to the sight
by his stoutness in suffering, I continued the discipline, by
intervals, till I observ'd him wreathing and twisting his
body, in a way that I could plainly perceive was not the
effect of pain, but of some new and powerful sensation: curi-
ous to dive into the meaning of which, in one of my pauses of
intermission, I approached, as he still kept working, and
grinding his belly against the cushion under him; and, first
stroking the untouched and unhurt side of the flesh-mount
next me, then softly insinuating my hand under his thigh,
felt the posture things were in forwards, which was indeed
surprizing: for that machine of his, which I had, by its ap-
pearance, taken for an impalpable, or at best a very diminu-
tive subject, was now, in virtue of all that smart and havoc
of his skin behind, grown not only to a prodigious stiffness
of erection, but to a size that frighted even me: a non-
pareil thickness indeed! the head of it alone fill'd the ut-
most capacity of my grasp. And when, as he heav'd and wrig-
gled to and fro, in the agitation of his strange pleasure,
it came into view, it had something of the air of a round
fillet of the whitest veal, and like its owner, squab, and
short in proportion to its breadth; but when he felt my hand
there, he begg'd I would go on briskly with my jerking, or he
should never arrive at the last stage of pleasure.
Resuming then the rod and the exercise of it, I had
fairly worn out three bundles, when, after an increase of
struggles and motion, and a deep sigh or two, I saw him lie
still and motionless; and now he desir'd me to desist, which
I instantly did; and proceeding to untie him, I could not but
be amazed at his passive fortitude, on viewing the skin of
his butcher'd, mangled posteriours, late so white, smooth and
polish'd, now all one side of them a confused cut-work of
weals, livid flesh, gashes and gore, insomuch that when he
stood up, he could scarce walk; in short, he was in sweet-
briars.
Then I plainly perceived, on the cushion, the marks of a
plenteous effusion, and already had his sluggard member run
up to its old nestling-place, and enforced itself again, as
if ashamed to shew its head; which nothing, it seems, could
raise but stripes inflicted on its opposite neighbours, who
were thus constantly obliged to suffer for his caprice.
END PART 8