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Part 4
I had it now, I felt it now, and, beginning to drive,
he soon gave nature such a powerful summons down to her
favourite quarters, that she could no longer refuse repair-
ing thither; all my animal spirits then rush'd mechanically
to that center of attraction, and presently, inly warmed,
and stirr'd as I was beyond bearing, I lost all restraint,
and yielding to the force of the emotion, gave down, as
mere woman, those effusions of pleasure, which, in the
strictness of still faithful love, I could have wished to
have held up.
Yet oh! what an immense difference did I feel between
this impression of a pleasure merely animal, and struck out
of the collision of the sexes by a passive bodily effect,
from that sweet fury, that rage of active delight which
crowns the enjoyments of a mutual love-passion, where two
hearts, tenderly and truly united, club to exalt the joy,
and give it a spirit and soul that bids defiance to that
end which mere momentary desires generally terminate in,
when they die of a surfeit of satisfaction!
Mr. H . . ., whom no distinctions of that sort seemed
to disturb, scarce gave himself or me breathing time from
the last encounter, but, as if he had task'd himself to
prove that the appearances of his vigour were not signs
hung out in vain, in a few minutes he was in a condition
for renewing the onset; to which, preluding with a storm
of kisses, he drove the same course as before, with
unabated fervour; and thus, in repeated engagements, kept
me constantly in exercise till dawn of morning; in all
which time he made me fully sensible of the virtues of his
firm texture of limbs, his square shoulders, broad chest,
compact hard muscles, in short a system of namliness that
might pass for no bad image of our ancient sturdy barons,
when they wielded the battle-ax: whose race is now so
thoroughly refin'd and frittered away into the more deli-
cate and modern-built frame of our pap-nerv'd softlings,
who are as pale, as pretty, and almost as masculine as
their sisters.
Mr. H . . ., content, however, with having the day
break upon his triumphs, delivered me up to the refresh-
ment of a rest we both wanted, and we soon dropped into a
profound sleep.
Tho' he was some time awake before me, yet did he not
offer to disturb a repose he had given me so much occasion
for; but on my first stirring, which was not till past ten
o'clock, I was oblig'd to endure one more trial of his
manhood.
About eleven, in came Mrs. Jones, with two basins of
the richest soup, which her experience in these matters had
mov'd her to prepare. I pass over the fulsome compliments,
the cant of the decent procuress, with which she saluted us
both; but tho' my blood rose at the sight of her, I supprest
my emotions, and gave all my concern to reflections on what
would be the consequence of this new engagement.
But Mr. H . . ., who penetrated my uneasiness, did not
long suffer me to languish under it. He acquainted me that,
having taken a solid sincere affection to me, he would begin
by giving me one leading mark of it by removing me out of a
house which must, for many reasons, be irksome and disagree-
able to me, into convenient lodgings, where he would take
all imaginable care of me; and desiring me not to have any
explanations with my landlady, or be impatient till he re-
turned, he dress'd and went out, having left me a purse
with two and twenty guineas in it, being all he had about
him, as he expresst it, to keep my pocket till further sup-
plies.
As soon as he was gone, I felt the usual consequence
of the first launch into vice (for my love-attachment to
Charles never appear'd to me in that light). I was instant-
ly borne away down the stream, without making back to the
shore. My dreadful necessities, my gratitude, and above
all, to say the plain truth, the dissipation and diversion
I began to find, in this new acquaintance, from the black
corroding thoughts my heart had been a prey to ever since
the absence of my dear Charles, concurr'd to stun all con-
trary reflections. If I now thought of my first, my only
charmer, it was still with the tenderness and regret of
the fondest love, embitter'd with the consciousness that I
was no longer worthy of him. I could have begg'd my bread
with him all over the world, but wretch that I was, I had
neither the virtue nor courage requisite not to outlive my
separation from him!
Yet, had not my heart been thus pre-ingaged, Mr. H .
. . might probably have been the sole master of it; but
the place was full, and the force of conjunctures alone had
made him the possessor of my person; the charms of which
had, by the bye, been his sole object and passion, and
were, of course, no foundation for a love either very deli-
cate or very durable.
He did not return till six in the evening to take me
away to my new lodgings; and my moveables being soon pack'd,
and convey'd into a hackney-coach, it cost me but little
regret to take my leave of a landlady whom I thought I had
so much reason not to be overpleas'd with; and as for her
part, she made no other difference to my staying or going,
but what that of the profit created.
We soon got to the house appointed for me, which was
that of a plain tradesman who, on the score of interest,
was entirely at Mr. H . . .'s devotion, and who let him the
first floor, very genteelly furnish'd, for two guineas a
week, of which I was instated mistress, with a maid to
attend me.
He stayed with me that evening, and we had a supper
from a neighbouring tavern, after which, and a gay glass
or two, the maid put me to bed. Mr. H . . . soon follow'd,
and notwithstanding the fatigues of the preceding night, I
found no quarter nor remission from him: he piqued himself,
as he told me, on doing the honours of my new apartment.
The morning being pretty well advanc'd, we got to
breakfast; and the ice now broke, my heart, no longer en-
gross'd by love, began to take ease, and to please itself
with such trifles as Mr. H . . .'s liberal liking led him
to make his court to the usual vanity of our sex. Silks,
laces, ear-rings, pearl-necklace, gold watch, in short, all
the trinkets and articles of dress were lavishly heap'd
upon me; the sense of which, if it did not create returns
of love, forc'd a kind of grateful fondness something like
love; a distinction it would be spoiling the pleasure of
nine tenths of the keepers in the town to make, and is, I
suppose, the very good reason why so few of them ever do
make it.
I was now establish'd the kept mistress in form, well
lodg'd, with a very sufficient allowance, and lighted up
with all the lustre of dress.
Mr. H . . . continu'd kind and tender to me; yet, with
all this, I was far from happy; for, besides my regret for
my dear youth, which, though often suspended or diverted,
still return'd upon me in certain melancholic, moments with
redoubled violences, I wanted more society, more dissipation.
As to Mr. H . . ., he was so much my superior in every
sense, that I felt it too much to the disadvantage of the
gratitude I ow'd him. Thus he gain'd my esteem, though he
could not raise my taste; I was qualify'd for no sort of
conversation with him except one sort, and that is a satis-
faction which leaves tiresome intervals, if not fill'd up
by love, or other amusements.
Mr. H . . ., so experienc'd, so learned in the ways of
women, numbers of whom had passed through his hands, doubt-
less soon perceiv'd this uneasiness, and without approving
or liking me the better for it, had the complaisance to in-
dulge me.
He made suppers at my lodgings, where he brought sev-
eral companions of his pleasures, with their mistresses;
and by this means I got into a circle of acquaintance that
soo strip'd me of all the remains of bashfulness and modesty
which might be yet left of my country education, and were,
to a just taste, perhaps the greatest of my charms.
We visited one another in form, and mimic'd, as near
as we could, all the miseries, the follies, and imperti-
nences of the women of quality, in the round of which they
trifle away their time, without its ever entering into their
little heads that on earth there cannot subsist any thing
more silly, more flat, more insipid and worthless, than,
generally consider'd, their system of life is: they ought
to treat the men as their tyrants, indeed! were they to
condemn them to it.
But tho', amongst the kept mistresses (and I was now
acquainted with a good many, besides some useful matrons,
who live by their connexions with them), I hardly knew one
that did not perfectly detest her keeper, and, of course,
made little or no scruple of any infidelity she could safely
accomplish, I had still no notion of wronging mine; for,
besides that no mark of jealousy on his side induced in me
the desire or gave me the provocation to play him a trick
of that sort, and that his constant generosity, politeness,
and tender attentions to please me forc'd a regard to him,
that without affecting my heart, insur'd him my fidelity, no
object had yet presented that could overcome the habitual
liking I had contracted for him; and I was on the eve of
obtaining, from the movements of his own voluntary generosity,
a modest provision for life, when an accident happen'd which
broke all the measures he had resolv'd upon in my favor.
I had now liv'd near seven months with Mr. H . . .,
when one day returning to my lodgings from a visit in the
neighbourhood, where I us'd to stay longer, I found the
street door open, and the maid of the house standing at it,
talking with some of her acquaintances, so that I came in
without knocking; and, as I passed by, she told me Mr. H .
. . was above. I stept up-stairs into my own bed-chamber,
with no other thought than of pulling off my hat, etc., and
then to wait upon him in the dining room, into which my
bed-chamber had a door, as is common enough. Whilst I was
untying my hat-strings, I fancied I heard my maid Hannah's
voice and a sort of tussle, which raising my curiosity, I
stole softly to the door, where a knot in the wood had been
slipt out and afforded a very commanding peep-hole to the
scene then in agitation, the actors of which had been too
earnestly employ'd to hear my opening my own door, from the
landing-place of the stairs, into my bed-chamber.
The first sight that struck me was Mr. H . . . pulling
and hauling this coarse country strammel towards a couch
that stood in a corner of the dining room; to which the girl
made only a sort of awkward boidening resistance, crying out
so loud, that I, who listened at the door, could scarce hear
her: "Pray sir, don't . . . , let me alone . . . I am not
for your turn . . . You cannot, sure, demean yourself with
such a poor body as I . . . Lord! Sir, my mistress may come
home . . . I must not indeed . . . I will cry out . . ."
All of which did not hinder her from insensibly suffering
herself to be brought to the foot of the couch, upon which
a push of no mighty violence serv'd to give her a very easy
fall, and my gentleman having got up his hands to the
strong-hold of her VIRTUE, she, no doubt, thought it was
time to give up the argument, and that all further de-
fense would be in vain: and he, throwing her petticoats over
her face, which was now as red as scarlet, discover'd a pair
of stout, plump, substantial thighs, and tolerably white; he
mounted them round his hips, and coming out with his drawn
weapon, stuck it in the cloven spot, where he seem'd to find
a less difficult entrance than perhaps he had flatter'd him-
self with (for, by the way, this blouze had left her place
in the country, for a bastard), and, indeed, all his motions
shew'd he was lodg'd pretty much at large. After he had
done, his DEAREE gets up, drops her petticoats down, and
smooths her apron and handkerchief. Mr. H . . . look'd a
little silly, and taking out some money, gave it her, with
an air indifferent enough, bidding her be a good girl, and
say nothing.
Had I lov'd this man, it was not in nature for me to
have had patience to see the whole scene through: I should
have broke in and play'd the jealous princess with a ven-
geance. But that was not the case, my pride alone was hurt,
my heart not, and I could easier win upon myself to see how
far he would go, till I had no uncertainty upon my conscience.
The least delicate of all affairs of this sort being
now over, I retir'd softly into my closet, where I began to
consider what I should do. My first scheme, naturally, was
to rush in and upbraid them; this, indeed, flatter'd my
present emotions and vexations, as it would have given im-
mediate vent to them; but, on second thoughts, not being so
clear as to the consequences to be apprehended from such a
step, I began to doubt whether it was not better to dissemble
my discovery till a safer season, when Mr. H . . . should
have perfected the settlement he had made overtures to me of,
and which I was not to think such a violent explanation, as
I was indeed not equal to the management of, could possibly
forward, and might destroy. On the other hand, the provo-
cation seem'd too gross, too flagrant, not to give me some
thoughts of revenge; the very start of which idea restor'd
me to perfect composure; and delighted as I was with the
confus'd plan of it in my head, I was easily mistress enough
of myself to support the part of ignorance I had prescrib'd
to myself; and as all this circle of reflections was in-
stantly over, I stole a tip-toe to the passage door, and
opening it with a noise, pass'd for having that moment come
home; and after a short pause, as if to pull off my things,
I opened the door into the dining room, where I found the
dowdy blowing the fire, and my faithful shepherd walking
about the room and whistling, as cool and unconcern'd as if
nothing had happened. I think, however, he had not much to
brag of having out-dissembled me: for I kept up, nobly, the
character of our sex for art, and went up to him with the
same air of frankness as I had ever receiv'd him. He stayed
but a little while, made some excuse for not being able to
stay the evening with me, and went out.
As for the wench, she was now spoil'd, at least for my
servant; and scarce eight and forty hours were gone round,
before her insolence, on what had pass'd between Mr. H . . .
and her, gave me so fair an occasion to turn her away, at a
minute's warning, that not to have done it would have been
the wonder: so that he could neither disapprove it nor find
in it the least reason to suspect my original motive. What
became of her afterwards, I know not; but generous as Mr.
H . . . was, he undoubtedly made her amends: though, I dare
answer, that he kept up no farther commerce with her of that
sort; as his stooping to such a coarse morsel was only a
sudden sally of lust, on seeing a wholesome-looking, buxom
country-wench, and no more strange than hunger, or even a
whimsical appetite's making a fling meal of neck-beef, for
change of diet.
Had I consider'd this escapade of Mr. H . . . in no
more than that light and contented myself with turning away
the wench, I had thought and acted right; but, flush'd as I
was with imaginary wrongs, I should have held Mr. H . . .
to have been cheaply off, if I had not push'd my revenge
farther, and repaid him, as exactly as I could for the soul
of me, in the same coin.
Nor was this worthy act of justice long delay'd: I had
it too much at heart. Mr. H . . . had, about a fortnight
before, taken into his service a tenant's son, just come out
of the country, a very handsome young lad scarce turn'd of
nineteen, fresh as a rose, well shap'd and clever limb'd: in
short, a very good excuse for any woman's liking, even tho'
revenge had been out of the question; any woman, I say, who
was disprejudic'd, and had wit and spirit enough to prefer a
point of pleasure to a point of pride.
Mr. H . . . had clap'd a livery upon him; and his chief
employ was, after being shewn my lodgings, to bring and
carry letters or messages between his master and me; and as
the situation of all kept ladies is not the fittest to
inspire respect, even to the meanest of mankind, and, perhaps,
less of it from the most ignorant, I could not help observing
that this lad, who was, I suppose, acquainted with my relation
to his master by his fellow-servants, used to eye me in that
bashful confus'd way, more expressive, more moving and readier
catch'd at by our sex, than any other declarations whatever:
my figure had, it seems, struck him, and modest and innocent
as he was, he did not himself know that the pleasure he took
in looking at me was love, or desire; but his eyes, naturally
wanton, and now enflam'd with passion, spoke a great deal
more than he durst have imagin'd they did. Hitherto, indeed,
I had only taken notice of the comeliness of the youth, but
without the least design: my pride alone would have guarded
me from a thought that way, had not Mr. H . . .'s condescen-
sion with my maid, where there was not half the temptation in
point of person, set me a dangerous example; but now I began
to look on this stripling as every way a delicious instrument
of my design'd retaliation upon Mr. H . . . of an obligation
for which I should have made a conscience to die in his debt.
In order then to pave the way for the accomplishment of
my scheme, for two or three times that the young fellow came
to me with messages, I manag'd so, as without affectation to
have him admitted to my bed-side, or brought to me at my
toilet, where I was dressing; and by carelessly shewing or
letting him see, as if without meaning or design, sometimes
my bosom rather more bare than it should be; sometimes my
hair, of which I had a very fine head, in the natural flow
of it while combing; sometimes a neat leg, that had unfor-
tunately slipt its garter, which I made no scruple of tying
before him, easily gave him the impressions favourable to
my purpose, which I could perceive to sparkle in his eyes,
and glow in his cheeks: then certain slight squeezes by the
hand, as I took letters from him, did his business compleatly.
When I saw him thus mov'd, and fired for my purpose, I
inflam'd him yet more, by asking him several leading ques-
tions, such as had he a mistress? . . . was she prettier than
me? . . . could he love such a one as I was? . . . and the
like; to all which the blushing simpleton answer'd to my wish,
in a strain of perfect nature, perfect undebauch'd innocence,
but with all the awkwardness and simplicity of country-
breeding.
When I thought I had sufficiently ripen'd him for the
laudable point I had in view, one day that I expected him
at a particular hour, I took care to have the coast clear
for the reception I design'd him; and, as I laid it, he
came to the dining-room door, tapped at it, and, on my bid-
ding him come in, he did so, and shut the door after him.
I desir'd him, then, to bolt it on the inside, pretending
it would not otherwise keep shut.
I was then lying at length upon that very couch, the
scene of Mr. H . . .'s polite joys, in an undress which
was with all the art of negligence flowing loose, and in a
most tempting disorder: no stay, no hoop . . . no incum-
brance whatever. On the other hand, he stood at a little
distance, that gave me a full view of a fine featur'd,
shapely, healthy country lad, breathing the sweets of fresh
blooming youth; his hair, which was of a perfect shining
black, play'd to his face in natural side-curls, and was set
out with a smart tuck-up behind; new buckskin breeches, that,
clipping close, shew'd the shape of a plump, well made thigh;
white stockings, garter-lac'd livery, shoulder knot, alto-
gether compos'd a figure in which the beauties of pure flesh
and blood appeared under no disgrace form the lowness of a
dress, to which a certain spruce neatness seems peculiarly
fitted.
I bid him come towards me and give me his letter, at
the same time throwing down, carelessly, a book I had in my
hands. He colour'd, and came within reach of delivering me
the letter, which he held out, awkwardly enough, for me to
take, with his eyes riveted on my bosom, which was, through
the design'd disorder of my handkerchief, sufficiently bare,
and rather shaded than hid.
I, smiling in his face, took the letter, and immedi-
ately catching gently hold of his shirt sleeve, drew him
towards me, blushing, and almost trembling; for surely his
extreme bashfulness, and utter inexperience, call'd for, at
least, all the advances to encourage him: his body was now
conveniently inclin'd towards me, and just softly chucking
his smooth beardless chin, I asked him if he was afraid of
a lady? . . ., and, with that took, and carrying his hand
to my breasts, I prest it tenderly to them. They were now
finely furnish'd, and rais'd in flesh, so that, panting
with desire, they rose and fell, in quick heaves, under his
touch: at this, the boy's eyes began to lighten with all
the fires of inflam'd nature, and his cheeks flush'd with a
deep scarlet: tongue-tied with joy, rapture, and bashful-
ness, he could not speak, but then his looks, his emotion,
sufficiently satisfy'd me that my train had taken, and that
I had no disappointment to fear.
My lips, which I threw in his way, so as that he could
not escape kissing them, fix'd, fired, and embolden'd him:
and now, glancing my eyes towards that part of his dress
which cover'd the essential object of enjoyment, I plainly
discover'd the swell and commotion there; and as I was now
too far advanc'd to stop in so fair a way, and was indeed no
longer able to contain myself, or wait the slower progress
of his maiden bashfulness (for such it seem'd, and really
was), I stole my hand upon his thighs, down one of which I
could both see and feel a stiff hard body, confin'd by his
breeches, that my fingers could discover no end to. Curious
then, and eager to unfold so alarming a mystery, playing, as
it were, with his buttons, which were bursting ripe from the
active force within, those of his waistband and fore-flap
flew open at a touch, when out IT started; and now, dis-
engag'd from the shirt, I saw, with wonder and surprise,
what? not the play-thing of a boy, not the weapon of a man,
but a maypole of so enormous a standard, that had propor-
tions been observ'd, it must have belong'd to a young giant.
Its prodigious size made me shrink again; yet I could not,
without pleasure, behold, and even ventur'd to feel, such a
length, such a breadth of animated ivory! perfectly well
turn'd and fashion'd, the proud stiffness of which distended
its skin, whose smooth polish and velvet softness might vie
with that of the most delicate of our sex, and whose exqui-
site whiteness was not a little set off by a sprout of black
curling hair round the root, through the jetty sprigs of
which the fair skin shew'd as in a fine evening you may have
remark'd the clear light ether throught the branchwork of
distant trees over-topping the summit of a hill: then the
broad and blueish-casted incarnate of the head, and blue
serpentines of its veins, altogether compos'd the most
striking assemblage of figure and colours in nature. In
short, it stood an object of terror and delight.
But what was yet more surprising, the owner of this
natural curiosity, through the want of occasions in the
strictness of his home-breeding, and the little time he had
been in town not having afforded him one, was hitherto an
absolute stranger, in practice at least, to the use of all
that manhood he was so nobly stock'd with; and it now fell
to my lot ot stand his first trial of it, if I could resolve
to run the risks of its disproportion to that tender part
of me, which such an oversiz'd machine was very fit to lay
in ruins.
But it was now of the latest to deliberate; for, by
this time, the young fellow, overheated with the present
objects, and too high mettled to be longer curb'd in by
that modesty and awe which had hitherto restrain'd him,
ventur'd, under the stronger impulse and instructive promp-
tership of nature alone, to slip his hands, trembling with
eager impetuous desires, under my petticoats; and seeing,
I suppose, nothing extremely severe in my looks to stop or
dash him, he feels out, and seizes, gently, the center-spot
of his ardours. Oh then! the fiery touch of his fingers
determines me, and my fears melting away before the glowing
intolerable heat, my thighs disclose of themselves, and
yield all liberty to his hand: and now, a favourable move-
ment giving my petticoats a toss, the avenue lay too fair,
too open to be miss'd. He is now upon me: I had placed
myself with a jet under him, as commodious and open as
possible to his attempts, which were untoward enough, for
his machine, meeting with no inlet, bore and batter'd
stiffly against me in random pushes, now above, now below,
now beside his point; till, burning with impatience from
its irritating touches, I guided gently, with my hand,
this furious engine to where my young novice was now to be
taught his first lesson of pleasure. Thus he nick'd, at
length, the warm and insufficient orifice; but he was made
to find no breach impracticable, and mine, tho' so often
enter'd, was still far from wide enough to take him easily
in.
By my direction, however, the head of his unwieldy
machine was so critically pointed that, feeling him fore-
right against the tender opening, a favourable motion from
me met his timely thrust, by which the lips of it, strenu-
ously dilated, gave way to his thus assisted impetuosity,
so that we might both feel that he had gain'd a lodgement.
Pursuing then his point, he soon, by violent, and, to me,
most painful piercing thrusts, wedges himself at length so
far in, as to be now tolerably secure of his entrance: here
he stuck, and I now felt such a mixture of pleasure and
pain, as there is no giving a definition of. I dreaded
alike his splitting me farther up, or his withdrawing; I
could not bear either to keep or part with him. The sense
of pain however prevailing, from his prodigious size and
stiffness, acting upon me in those continued rapid thrusts,
with which he furiously pursu'd his penetration, made me
cry out gently: "Oh! my dear, you hurt me!" This was
enough to check the tender respectful boy even in his mid-
career; and he immediately drew out the sweet cause of my
complaint, whilst his eyes eloquently express'd, at once,
his grief for hurting me, and his reluctance at dislodging
from quarters of which the warmth and closeness had given
him a gust of pleasure that he was now desire-mad to satisfy,
and yet too much a novice not to be afraid of my withholding
his relief, on account ot the pain he had put me to.
But I was, myself, far from being pleas'd with his
having too much regarded my tender exclaims; for now, more
and more fired with the object before me, as it still stood
with the fiercest erection, unbonnetted, and displaying its
broad bermilion head, I first gave the youth a re-encourag-
ing kiss, which he repaid me with a fervour that seem'd at
once to thank me, and bribe my farther compliance; and soon
replac'd myself in a posture to receive, at all risks, the
renew'd invasion, which he did not delay an instant: for,
being presently remounted, I once more felt the smooth hard
gristle forcing an entrance, which he achiev'd rather easier
than before. Pain'd, however, as I was, with his efforts of
gaining a complete admission, which he was so regardful as
to manage by gentle degrees, I took care not to complain.
In the meantime, the soft strait passage gradually loosens,
yields, and, stretch'd to its utmost bearing, by the stiff,
thick, indriven engine, sensible, at once, to the ravishing
pleasure of the feel and the pain of the distension, let him
in about half way, when all the most nervous activity he now
exerted, to further his penetration, gain'd him not an inch
of his purpose: for, whilst he hesitated there, the crisis
of pleasure overtook him, and the close compressure of the
warm surrounding fold drew from him the extatic gush, even
before mine was ready to meet it, kept up by the pain I had
endur'd in the course ot the engagement, from the insuffer-
able size of his weapon, tho' it was not as yet in above
half its length.
I expected then, but without wishing it, that he would
draw, but was pleasantly disappointed: for he was not to be
let off so. The well breath'd youth, hot-mettled, and
flush with genial juices, was now fairly in for making me
know my driver. As soon, then, as he had made a short
pause, waking, as it were, out of the trance of pleasure
(in which every sense seem'd lost for a while, whilst, with
his eyes shut, and short quick breathing, he had yielded
down his maiden tribute), he still kept his post, yet unsated
with enjoyment, and solacing in these so new delights; till
his stiffness, which had scarce perceptibly remitted, being
thoroughly recovered to him, who had not once unsheath'd, he
proceeded afresh to cleave and open to himself an entire
entry into me, which was not a little made easy to him by
the balsamic injection with which he had just plentifully
moisten'd the whole internals of the passage. Redoubling,
then, the active energy of his thrusts, favoured by the
fervid appetite of my motions, the soft oiled wards can no
longer stand so effectual a picklock, but yield, and open
him an entrance. And now, with conspiring nature, and my
industry, strong to aid him, he pierces, penetrates, and at
length, winning his way inch by inch, gets entirely in, and
finally mighty thrust sheaths it up to the guard; on the in-
formation of which, from the close jointure of our bodies
(insomuch that the hair on both sides perfectly interweav'd
and incircl'd together), the eyes of the transported youth
sparkl'd with more joyous fires, and all his looks and mo-
tions acknowledged excess of pleasure, which I now began to
share, for I felt him in my very vitals! I was quite sick
with delight! stir'd beyond bearing with its furious agita-
tions within me, and gorged and cramm'd, even to surfeit.
Thus I lay gasping, panting under him, till his broken
breathings, faltering accents, eyes twinkling with humid
fires, lunges more furious, and an increased stiffness,
gave me to hail the approaches of the second period: it came
. . . and the sweet youth, overpower'd with the extasy, died
away in my arms, melting in a flood that shot in genial
warmth into the innermost recesses of my body; every conduit
of which, dedicated to that pleasure, was on flow to mix with
it. Thus we continued for some instants, lost, breathless,
senseless of every thing, and in every part but those fav-
ourite ones of nature, in which all that we enjoyed of life
and sensation was now totally concentre'd.
When our mutual trance was a little over, and the young
fellow had withdrawn that delicious stretcher, with which he
had most plentifully drowned all thoughts of revenge in the
sense of actual pleasure, the widen'd wounded passage refunded
a stream of pearly liquids, which flowed down my thighs, mixed
with streaks of blood, the marks of the ravage of that montrous
machine of his, which had now triumph'd over a kind of second
maidenhead. I stole, however, my handkerchief to those parts,
and wip'd them as dry as I could, whilst he was re-adjusting
and buttoning up.
I made him now sit down by me, and as he had gather'd
courage from such extreme intimacy, he gave me an after-
course of pleasure, in a natural burst of tender gratitude
and joy, at the new scenes of bliss I had opened to him:
scenes positively new, as he had never before had the least
acquaintance with that mysterious mark, the cloven stamp of
female distinction, tho' nobody better qualify'd than he to
penetrate into its deepest recesses, or do it nobler justice.
But when, by certain motions, certain unquietnesses of his
hands, that wandered not without design, I found he lan-
guish'd for satisfying a curiosity, natural enough, to view
and handle those parts which attract and concentre the
warmest force of imagination, charmed as I was to have any
occasion of obliging and humouring his young desires, I
suffer'd him to proceed as he pleased, without check or
control, to the satisfaction of them.
Easily, then, reading in my eyes the full permission of
myself to all his wishes, he scarce pleased himself more
than me when, having insinuated his hand under my petticoat
and shift, he presently removed those bars to the sight by
slyly lifting them upwards, under favour of a thousand
kisses, which he thought, perhaps, necessary to divert my
attention from what he was about. All my drapery being now
roll'd up to my waist, I threw myself into such a posture
upon the couch, as gave up to him, in full view, the whole
region of delight, and all the luxurious landscape round it.
The transported youth devour'd every thing with his eyes,
and try'd, with his fingers, to lay more open to his sight
the secrets of that dark and delicious deep: he opens the
folding lips, the softness of which, yielding entry to any
thing of a hard body, close round it, and oppose the sight:
and feeling further, meets with, and wonders at, a soft
fleshy excrescence, which, limber and relaxed after the late
enjoyment, now grew, under the touch and examination of his
fiery fingers, more and more stiff and considerable, till
the titillating ardours of that so sensible part made me
sigh, as if he had hurt me; on which he withdrew his curious
probing fingers, asking me pardon, as it were, in a kiss
that rather increased the flame there.
Novelty ever makes the strongest impressions, and in
pleasures, especially; no wonder, then, that he was swallowed
up in raptures of admiration of things so interesting by
their nature, and now seen and handled for the first time.
On my part, I was richly overpaid for the pleasure I gave
him, in that of examining the power of those objects thus
abandon'd to him, naked and free to his loosest wish, over
the artless, natural stripling: his eyes streaming fire, his
cheeks glowing with a florid red, his fervid frequent sighs,
whilst his hands convulsively squeez'd, opened, pressed to-
gether again the lips and sides of that deep flesh wound, or
gently twitched the overgrowing moss; and all proclaimed the
excess, the riot of joys, in having his wantonness thus
humour'd. But he did not long abuse my patience, for the
objects before him had now put him by all his, and, coming
out with that formidable machine of his, he lets the fury
loose, and pointing it directly to the pouting-lipt mouth,
that bid him sweet defiance in dumb-shew, squeezes in the
head, and, driving with refreshed rage, breaks in, and plugs
up the whole passage of that soft pleasure-conduit, where
he makes all shake again, and put, once more, all within me
into such an uproar, as nothing could still but a fresh in-
undation from the very engine of those flames, as well as
from all the springs with which nature floats that reservoir
of joy, when risen to its flood-mark.
I was now so bruised, so batter'd, so spent with this
over-match, that I could hardly stir, or raise myself, but
lay palpitating, till the ferment of my sense subsiding by
degrees, and the hour striking at which I was oblig'd to
dispatch my young man, I tenderly advised him of the neces-
sity there was for parting; which I felt as much displeasure
at as he could do, who seemed eagerly disposed to keep the
field, and to enter on a fresh action. But the danger was
too great, and after some hearty kisses of leave, and recom-
mendations of secrecy and discretion, I forc'd myself to
send him away, not without assurances of seeing him again,
to the same purpose, as soon as possible, and thrust a guinea
into his hands: not more, lest, being too flush of money, a
suspicion or discovery might arise from thence, having every
thing to fear from the dangerous indiscretion of that age in
which young fellows would be too irresistible, too charming,
if we had not that terrible fault to guard against.
Giddy and intoxicated as I was with such satiating
draughts of pleasure, I still lay on the couch, supinely
stretched out, in a delicious languor diffus'd over all my
limbs, hugging myself for being thus revenged to my heart's
content, and that in a manner so precisely alike, and on the
identical spot in which I had received the supposed injury.
No reflections on the consequences ever once perplex'd me,
nor did I make myself one single reproach for having, by
this step, completely entered myself of a profession more
decry'd than disused. I should have held it ingratitude to
the pleasure I had received to have repented of it; and
since I was now over the bar, I thought, by plunging over
head and ears into the stream I was hurried away by, to
drown all sense of shame or reflection.
Whilst I was thus making these laudable dispositions,
and whispering to myself a kind of tacit vow of inconti-
nency, enters Mr. H . . . The consciousness of what I had
been doing deepen'd yet the glowing of my cheeks, flushed
with the warmth of the late action, which, joined to the
piquant air of my dishabille, drew from Mr. H . . . a com-
pliment on my looks, which he was proceeding to back the
sincerity of with proofs, and that with so brisk an action
as made me tremble for fear of a discovery from the condi-
tion of those parts were left in from their late severe
handling: the orifice dilated and inflamed, the lips swollen
with their uncommon distension, the ringlets press down,
crushed and uncurl'd with the over-flowing moisture that
had wet every thing round it; in short, the different feel
and state of things would hardly have passed upon one of Mr.
H . . .'s nicety and experience unaccounted for but by the
real cause. But here the woman saved me: I pretended a
violent disorder of my head, and a feverish heat, that in-
disposed me too much to receive his embraces. He gave in to
this, and good-naturedly desisted. Soon after, an old lady
coming in made a third, very a-propos for the confusion I
was in, and Mr. H . . ., after bidding me take care of my-
self, and recommending me to my repose, left me much at ease
and reliev'd by his absence.
In the close of the evening, I took care to have pre-
par'd for me a warm bath of aromatick and sweet herbs; in
which having fully laved and solaced myself, I came out
voluptuously refresh'd in body and spirit.
The next morning, waking pretty early, after a night's
perfect rest and composure, it was not without some dread
and uneasiness that I thought of what innovation that ten-
der, soft system of mine might have sustained from the shock
of a machine so sized for its destruction.
Struck with this apprehension, I scarce dared to carry
my hand thither, to inform myself of the state and posture
of things.
But I was soon agreeably cur'd of my fears.
The silky hair that covered round the borders, now
smooth'd and re-pruned, had resumed its wonted curl and
trimness; the fleshy pouting lips that had stood the brunt
of the engagement, were no longer swollen or moisture-
drenched; and neither they, nor the passage into which they
opened, that suffered so great a dilatation, betray'd any
the least alteration, outward or inwardly, to the most
curious research, notwithstanding also the laxity that
naturally follows the warm bath.
This continuation of that grateful stricture which is
in us, to the men, the very jet of their pleasure, I ow'd,
it seems, to a happy habit of body, juicy, plump and fur-
nished towards the texture of those parts, with a fullness
of soft springy flesh, that yielding sufficiently, as it
does, to almost any distension soon recovers itself so as
to retighten that strict compression of its mantlings and
folds, which form the sides of the passage, wherewith it so
tenderly embraces and closely clips any foreign body intro-
duc'd into it, such as my exploring finger then was.
Finding then every thing in due tone and order, I
remember'd my fears, only to make a jest of them to myself.
and now, palpably mistress of nay size of man, and tri-
umphing in my double achievement of pleasure and revenge, I
abandon'd myself entirely to the ideas of all the delight I
had swam in. I lay stretching out, glowingly alive all over,
and tossing with burning impatience for the renewal of joys
that had sinned but in a sweet excess; now did I loose my
longing, for about ten in the morning, according to expect-
ation, Will, my new humble sweetheart, came with a message
from his master, Mr. H . . ., to know how I did. I had taken
care to send my maid on an errand into the city, that I was
sure would take up time enough; and, from the people of the
house, I had nothing to fear, as they were plain good sorts
of folks, and wise enough to mind no more other people's
business than they could well help.
All dispositions then made, not forgetting that of
lying in bed to receive him, when he was entered the door
of my bed-chamber, a latch, that I governed by a wire, des-
cended and secur'd it.
I could not but observe that my young minion was as
much spruced out as could be expected from one in his con-
dition: a desire of pleasing that could not be indifferent
to me, since it prov'd that I pleased him; which, I assure
you, was now a point I was not above having in view.
His hair trimly dressed, clean linen, and, above all,
a hale, ruddy, wholesome country look, made him out as
pretty a piece of woman's meat as you could see, and I
should have thought nay one much out of taste that could
not have made a hearty meal of such a morsel as nature
seemed to have design'd for the highest diet of pleasure.
END PART 4