!edis gnorw eht morf siht ta gnikool era uoY !enif tsuj si gnihtyrevE (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer. --T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E-- 24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case. Hmmmm... 586, 32Mb 40ns RAM, 4Gb 2ms HD. Now Windows will beat DOS! 640K ought to be enough for anybody. -Bill Gates, 1981. 80486 100Mhz. Don't you smell something burning? @N?! What a strange name! ;-) A KGB keyboard has no <ESC> key. A hard disk is a device that erase data faster than disk drive! A mouse is an elephant built in Japan. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. A program is used to turn data into error messages. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI. Ah.. aah.. aaah.. atchou≈2╪O▒:┤¼&b╦° NO CARRIER All taglines are busy... One will be with you shortly. Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day. An elephant is a mouse with an operating system. And God said: "I'll buy a vowel." Any of you seen a modem carrier around here? Apple (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton. Are 12 lines at 1,200bps as good as 1 line at 14,400bps? Are computer viruses cybernetic organisms? Are you a Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head? Avoid "off-topic" warnings: Add the moderator to your twitlist! Avoid junk mail: Get an unlisted ZIP code! BBS: A method to triple your phone bill. BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal port not responding. Back up my hard drive? I can't find the reverse switch! Backing up drive C: <beep>... <beep>... <beep>... Basic programmers never die. They just GOSUB without RETURN! Be sure to use DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment. Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!) Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers! Break up a relationship. Buy a computer! Brian Mulroney: Biggest syntax error in politic. Buy a Pentium so you can reboot faster! COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods. California raisins murdered! Cereal killer suspected. Christian Science Programming: "Let God Debug It!". Civilization: Biggest syntax error in history! Classified tagline. Please enter password: _ Coming Soon: Mouse Support for Edlin! Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo! Compile within BOXER, jump automatically to error lines! Computer programmers wanted - Some assembly required. Computers all wait at the same speed! Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Condense soup, not books! Crime doesn't pay... Does that mean my job is a crime? DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data. DOS 6.0: A $49 confirmation that you need REAL utilities. DOS 6.0: Yesterday's operating system, today! DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something... DOSSHELL? Of course DOS is hell. Divorce: System("echo y | erase \wife\*.*" ); Do device drivers need a chauffeur's license? Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Do you like me for my brain, or my BAUD? Docs? Why would I want to look at the Docs. Nurses are better! Documentation: The worst part of programming. Does Windows NT come with a hard drive? Does the Enterprise use DOS v 2356.0? Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT. Drive not ready: Abort, Retry, Fail, Wait? EDLINUTL.ZIP 7K Utility that make EDLIN seem like Wordperfect! Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery. Enter any 12-digit prime number to continue. Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door. Error 3032 - Recursion error. See error 3032. Error 763 - Hard disk not ready, close door. Error 87 - Tagline out of caracters... Error 941 - CPU not found... Error 99 - CPU too tired to continue... Error finding COLD BEER. Sysop not loaded. Error, no Keyboard - Press F1 to Continue. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. Fax me no questions, I'll fax you no lies! Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate. Fh|$ fagL|ne made fGfm GScYcLed ac|| chaGacfSG$ For a bug-free environment do NOT run this program! For sale: Hourglass for timing Windows. Friday the 13th XXIV: Jason take the Enterprise. General failure reading drive A: Please remove your fist. Get OS/2 2.0 - The best Windows tip around! HHeellpp.. II''mm ssttuucckk iinn hhaallff--dduupplleexx. Hackers know all the right MOVs. Hard work never killed anyone but why take a risk? Have a nice DOS! Help! I can't find the "ANY" key. Help! I'm trapped at 0D1C:01DA. Hey @F, don't steal this tagline! Hey! Don't pick up that pho╫»╗Æßë╜├╥τ Hey! Your Trackball is upside down! Hi, my name is Annie Key. Please don't hit me! How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police? How do I set my laser printer to stun? How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder! How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog! How long will a floating point operation float? I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet! I don't have the time for a hobby. I have a computer. I have a 9600 bps modem and 1.5 bps fingers! I have a dream... DIR C: 999,937,498,127 bytes free. I have a really good memory, except it's short. I know a good tagline when I steal one! I like the 486 tower. Does it come in red? I like womens like I like my code: fast, tight & easy! I received a phone bill from Bell Canada for DOS calls! I wish life had a scroll-back buffer. I wrote my own benchmark. My machine is now 500MHz! I'm not a complete idiot... Several parts are missing! I'm not dead, I'm metabolically challenged. I've got a Mickey Mouse PC with a Goofy operating system. I*love~my$computer,;It's%made in Taiwa~##$ ` #@ IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive. If anything can go wrong... NO CARRIER If only AT&T knew what I was doi≈2╪O▒:┤¼╓b╦° NO CARRIER If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good. -Bill Gates. If you can't read this, try with a modem! In DOS we trust. Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF. Insert new disk for drive C: Press ENTER when ready. Iraqi Bingo: B-52...F-16...A-10...F-18...F-117...B-2... It said "insert disk #3", but only two will fit... It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole! It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC! Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters. Johnson & Johnson Tagline: █████░░░░░█████ Joystick: Peripheral used by consulting adults. Keyboard is locked - Press F1 to resume... Keyboard: Device used to enter errors into the computer. Kids: They're not sleeping, they're recharging! LSD: A cheaper version of virtual reality! Line noise? What fh=.hElL is.LinS nfise? Live! Via modem... It's Saturday Night Taglines. Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke -Obi Wan Gates. MODEM - Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine. Math problems? Call 1-800-10*(24+13)-(64-16)/2^14E2. Maytag is my middle name. I'm an agitator. Memory Manager: Something I need more than my computer. Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting! Modem sex begins with a handshake! Modem: Deterrent to receiving wanted and unwanted calls. Multitasking: Reading in the bathroom. My computer has EMS... Wont you help? My computer never locks u My hard disk went on a diet and lost it's FAT. My modem isn't slow. It's "baudly" challenged. My reality check just bounced. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features... NAK NAK who's there? S#j8)&!k NO CARRIER Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with your fist! Never purge files after three sleepless nights. New computer? But I like my vacuum tubes... They keep me warm. Newsbytes - Microsoft announce EDLIN for Windows. No honey, I can't eat with the family. My computer gets lonely! No tagline today, I have a headache! Null modems were created when God got no handshake. OS/2 2.0 ERROR: Purchase 486-50 with 8 Meg to continue... OS/2? What's that? Half of an Operating System? Off by crashing computer. Time Logged: ö╣9W)╜$╫â├Éè╞;▄@ Oh no, a viru÷⌐¥æÜ»º╫Ç⌡æ Old MacDonald had a computer with EIA I/O. Old computers make great boat anchors. Old days: Wine, Women, Song. Now days: Coffee, Computers, CD's. Old musicians never die. They just decompose! Old programmers never die. They branch to a new address! Old programmers never die. They just lose their byte. On this BBS, we recycle all of our bytes, bit by bit. Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip... Only XT users know that January 1, 1980 was a Tuesday! Oops... Tried to steal my own tagline! Operator, give me the number for 911. Operator, trace this call and tell me where I am. Origin of Life? Just check my refrigerator... Ouch! Got my floppy caught in my PKZipper! Pascal programmers do it with indentations. Peter Norton is the "Betty Crocker" of software! Practice safe hex: Use plastic keyboard covers! Press ESC to enter or ENTER to escape... Press PLAY+REC to save this tagline. Press any key... NO! Except that on#S»¢{p+■ NO CARRIER Prevent computer viruses. Install Trojans! Psst! Your .ZIP file is open! Push any key. Then push the any other key. Push red button to test, release to detonate... Put your hard drive to your ear. Can you hear the C:? ROM instruction: (R)ead (O)perators (M)ind. ROM wasn't built in a day. Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. Read messages, not taglines. Read the docs? Wow, what a radical concept. Readers of the lost .ARC Real programmers practice safe HEX. Real programmers use punched cards. Recursion, noun: See recursion. Running Windows is better than washing them! Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. Save Canada: When you leave, take someone with you. Sector not found... Did you look under the sofa? Silvester Stallone: Father of the RISC concept. Since GOD spelled backwards is DOG, is my poodle Satan? Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. So many bytes, so few cps. Sometimes I wish I could ARJ my wife (instead, I SQZ her). Sorry... My mind has a few bad sectors. Spaghetti code = job security. Stop! Modem police. We clocked your Sportster at over 1900 cps! Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! Sure I know how to copy disks, where's the Xerox? Syntax Error in KITCHEN.H: COFFEE not found. Sysop ('sih sop) n. The guy laughing at your typing. Sysop! Your BBS gave me a "Printer out of paper" error! System error - Press F13 to continue... System halted - Press all keys at once to continue. THE fIRST sTEP iS tO tAKE oFF tHE cAPS lOCK. Tagline dispenser temporarily out of order. That's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature. The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain. The dog ate my .REP packet. The only place I want data loss is on my credit card! The question is: "(2 * B!) OR NOT(2 * B!)". There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple. This is a Tagline mirror><rorrim enilgaT a si sihT This message is for @N only! This tagline is password protected. To view type Ctrl-Alt-Del. This virus requires Microsoft Windows 3.x. Time on your hands? Get Windows! Top secret! Burn before reading! Turn your 486 into a gameboy, type OS2 at the C:\ prompt. Type +++ ATH0 to continue... USES DOS, CRT, MOUSE, RAM, C:, PRN, VGA, ELECTRICITY... Unknown Error on Unknown Device for Unexplainable Reason. Unzip... expand... What kind of pervert came up with this? User Error: Replace user and hit any key to continue... WOMAN.ZIP - Great program but no documentation. Was Jimi Hendrix's modem a Purple Hayes? We all live in a yellow subroutine... What distinguishes an PC from a boat anchor? Segment registers. What do you mean, QWK? It took me over an hour to read! When 911 won't work .357 will! When all else fails, read the instructions. When your computer has a virus, Don't use chicken soup! Who is General Failure and why's he reading my hard disk? Why did CNN cancel that cool "Desert Storm" show? Windows 3.0 - From the people who brought you EDLIN. Windows NT: Just another pretty program loader? Windows is not a virus. Viruses do something! Windows practical joke: Write a program that works. Windows would look better with curtains. Windows: XT emulator for an AT. Written by Michel Montmigny. Copyright (c) January 1994. Xerox never comes up with anything original. You can multi-task on C-64s. Keep a multitude of them! Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage. enilgat oediv esreveR thistaglineproducedbypkzip »∞√╘╘h╖ñ ÄC■hanks for hanging up, dear. InsTAG 1.30 - Syntax Error in KITCHEN.H: COFFEE not found.
