This game is so straight forward it doesn't need instructions, but seeing that the lack of instructions would make this text file superfluous I've decided that the game isn't at all straight forward and so here come the instructions.
THE GAME:-
It's the exciting world of Formula 1 motor-racing, and you are world champion driver Mike Cobbler. This season you have changed from the Ben Elton team because the more famous Italian team with the red car, which looks great, but drives like a circus-clown's 'Fall to pieces' car, lured you into their camp hoping you could make their pile of scrap seem competitive.
THE STORY SO FAR:-
Although, under normal circumstances, you could win the world championship in a car borrowed from Fred Flintstone, even you drew the line at the Italian red car. Unfortunately you found out very quickly that the Italian red car team don't like to take 'no' for an answer, when the team owner, Harry 'The Horror' Ravioli, sent his nephew round to your place to talk you into changing your mind.
"Now listen up wise-guy, when my uncle says you're working for him, he means you're working for him. You understand?"
You considered the situation carefully before answering, "That sounds fair to me!" You sighed with relief as the nephew's gun-barrel was removed from inside your rectum.
"Uncle Harry will be pleased to hear about your change of heart"
You looked with pity upon the hardened the hardened face in front of you, "Your uncle should be ashamed of himself sending his young nephew to do his dirty-work!"
"What d'you mean? I'm not young, I'm eight and a half. I've been doing this since I was five!"
"Exactly! You should be at school getting an education."
"But I am educationed! Uncle Harry learns me everything what I need to know!"
"Okay then, If I have seven apples and I give you three, what would I be left with?"
"Well, if you only gave me three you'd be left with a gun-barrel up your rectum!"
You sighed with disbelief, "I give up, take me to your leader."
You were then blindfolded and driven to Harry's secret mansion in St Peter's Square in Rome.
Inside, Harry was just finishing a meeting with the Pope.
You had to wait over an hour until the Pope left, after purchasing a bag of talcum-powder.
Harry finally noticed you, "Ah! Cobbi! Decided to join us?"
"Well, actually..."
"Excellent! Now here's how I see things. Obviously, Demon Bill is going to be your main rival, but we have to watch out for Coolturd and Johnnie Lazy. Any questions?"
"Yes, I..."
"Good! Now there's just one thing you have to remember, every waking moment you must commit yourself to winning for me. Just keep repeating it in your mind FOR HARRY, FOR HARRY, FOR HARRY."
CREDITS:-
I don't know who made the midi musics, but credit to them, whoever and wherever they may be.
A LOAD OF BOLL***S:-
In the later levels (tracks) you will come across a load of bollards (road cones) as obstacles.
