home *** CD-ROM | disk | FTP | other *** search
| Unknown | 1998-12-03 | 62.6 KB |
open in: 
MacOS 8.1
|
Win98
|
DOS
view JSON data
|
view as text
This file was not able to be converted.
This format is not currently supported by dexvert.
| Confidence | Program | Detection | Match Type | Support
|
|---|
| 1%
| dexvert
| The Print Shop DAT (archive/printShopDAT)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Microsoft Internet Explorer Cache (archive/msieCache)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Norton Utilities Image FAT backup (archive/nortonUtilitiesImageFATBackup)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Simis (archive/simis)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| ORIC Tape Image (archive/oricTape)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| PSM 2 compressed sound (audio/psm2CompressedSound)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Electronic Arts Music format (music/electronicArtsMusicFormat)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Magic Carpet Flic video (video/magicCarpetFlicVideo)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| IRIT 3D model (poly/irit3DModel)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Adventure Game Studio (other/adventureGameStudio)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Boost Text serialization (other/boostTextSerialization)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Bullfrog Object Data (other/bullfrogObjectData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| CCmF / Resource Composite File (other/ccmfResourceCompositeFile)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| The Chessmaster classic games library (other/chessmasterClassicGamesLibrary)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| The Chessmaster opening book (other/chessmasterOpeningBook)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| The Chessmaster user settings (other/chessmasterUserSettings)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Concurrent DOS Serial Terminal Configuration (other/concurrentDOSSerialTerminalConfiguration)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Cubic Player archive cache (other/cubicPlayerArchiveCache)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| DemoManiac Vectors (other/demoManiacVectors)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Dr. Hardware Sysinfo (other/drHardwareSysInfo)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Dr. Solomon's Antivirus messages (other/drSolomonsAntivirusMessages)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Dune II Saved Game (other/duneIISavedGame)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Full Tilt Pinball Data (other/fullTiltPinballData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| HPFS-Access DB (other/hpfsAccessDB)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| InfoComics game data (other/infoComicsGameData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Madden 2004 data file (other/madden2004DataFile)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| McAfee AntiVirus data (other/mcAfeeAntiVirusData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| McAfee VirusScan data (other/mcAfeeVirusScanData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| McAfee VShield data (other/mcAfeeVShieldData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| MGPA-file game archive (other/mgpaFileGameArchive)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| MSN/Windows Live Messenger Log file (other/msnMessengerLogFile)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| NetShield configuration (other/netShieldConfiguration)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| NetShield Virus Pattern Library (other/netShieldVirusPattern)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Network Associates VirusScan data (other/networkAssociatesVirusScanData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| PartoutResource Data (other/partoutResourceData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| PSM 2 configuration (other/psm2Configuration)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Radix game data (other/radixGameData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| 7 Colors game data archive (other/sevenColorsGameDataArchive)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| StarWriter configuration (other/starWriterConfiguration)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| The Norton AntiVirus Virus Signatures (other/theNortonAntiVirusSignatures)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| 3D-Pinball for Windows table Data (other/threeDPinballTableData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Thunderbyte AV (other/thunderbyteAV)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Track Attack track Data (other/trackAttackTrackData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| TriTryst game Data (other/triTrystGameData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| YAB! Baseball game data (other/yabBaseballGameData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Abuse demo Data (other/abuseDemoData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| ANSI/INCIT 378 fingerprints format (gen) (other/ansiINCIT378FingerprintsFormat)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| CaveStory save game (other/caveStorySaveGame)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Centurion: Defender of Rome game data (other/centurionDefenderOfRomeGameData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| C++ Symbol Data (other/cppSymbolDatai)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Cubic Player animation (other/cubicPlayerAnimation)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Empire animation game Data (other/empireAnimationGameData)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Norton Disk Doctor UnDo file (other/nortonDiskDoctorUnDoFile)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| PLBM Games high scores (other/plbmGamesHighScores)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| StarForce protection container (other/starForceProtectionContainer)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 1%
| dexvert
| Super Solvers: Gizmos and Gadgets! players (other/superSolversGizmosGadgetsPlayers)
| ext
| Unsupported |
| 100%
| file
| data
| default
|
|
hex view+--------+-------------------------+-------------------------+--------+--------+
|00000000| 46 02 00 00 68 04 00 00 | 48 00 00 00 6d 00 00 00 |F...h...|H...m...|
|00000010| 66 00 00 00 4d 00 00 00 | 51 00 00 00 54 00 00 00 |f...M...|Q...T...|
|00000020| 3e 00 00 00 66 00 00 00 | 53 00 00 00 58 00 00 00 |>...f...|S...X...|
|00000030| 4a 00 00 00 7b 00 00 00 | 93 04 00 00 96 00 00 00 |J...{...|........|
|00000040| 58 00 00 00 4c 00 00 00 | 3a 00 00 00 77 00 00 00 |X...L...|:...w...|
|00000050| 60 00 00 00 53 00 00 00 | 3f 00 00 00 16 00 00 00 |`...S...|?.......|
|00000060| 37 00 00 00 52 00 00 00 | 1f 00 00 00 4b 00 00 00 |7...R...|....K...|
|00000070| 2e 00 00 00 48 00 00 00 | 46 00 00 00 20 00 00 00 |....H...|F... ...|
|00000080| 32 00 00 00 aa 00 00 00 | a6 00 00 00 99 00 00 00 |2.......|........|
|00000090| 5b 00 00 00 4f 00 00 00 | 48 00 00 00 7e 00 00 00 |[...O...|H...~...|
|000000a0| e5 02 00 00 fa 03 00 00 | 11 05 00 00 9c 04 00 00 |........|........|
|000000b0| 4c 00 00 00 29 00 00 00 | 56 00 00 00 76 00 00 00 |L...)...|V...v...|
|000000c0| 39 00 00 00 76 00 00 00 | 96 00 00 00 58 00 00 00 |9...v...|....X...|
|000000d0| 4c 00 00 00 3a 00 00 00 | 77 00 00 00 60 00 00 00 |L...:...|w...`...|
|000000e0| 53 00 00 00 3f 00 00 00 | 16 00 00 00 37 00 00 00 |S...?...|....7...|
|000000f0| 52 00 00 00 1f 00 00 00 | 4b 00 00 00 2e 00 00 00 |R.......|K.......|
|00000100| 48 00 00 00 46 00 00 00 | 20 00 00 00 32 00 00 00 |H...F...| ...2...|
|00000110| aa 00 00 00 a6 00 00 00 | 99 00 00 00 5b 00 00 00 |........|....[...|
|00000120| 4f 00 00 00 48 00 00 00 | 7e 00 00 00 e5 02 00 00 |O...H...|~.......|
|00000130| 7f 00 00 00 74 00 00 00 | 95 00 00 00 3a 00 00 00 |....t...|....:...|
|00000140| 8b 00 00 00 b0 00 00 00 | 4c 00 00 00 32 00 00 00 |........|L...2...|
|00000150| 43 00 00 00 7e 00 00 00 | 47 00 00 00 63 00 00 00 |C...~...|G...c...|
|00000160| dd 00 00 00 fb 00 00 00 | 4b 00 00 00 36 00 00 00 |........|K...6...|
|00000170| 47 00 00 00 61 00 00 00 | 35 00 00 00 4d 00 00 00 |G...a...|5...M...|
|00000180| 2b 00 00 00 3c 00 00 00 | 3b 00 00 00 2f 00 00 00 |+...<...|;.../...|
|00000190| 29 00 00 00 45 00 00 00 | 4c 00 00 00 7a 00 00 00 |)...E...|L...z...|
|000001a0| 44 00 00 00 5a 00 00 00 | 4f 00 00 00 4e 00 00 00 |D...Z...|O...N...|
|000001b0| a1 00 00 00 44 00 00 00 | 49 00 00 00 59 00 00 00 |....D...|I...Y...|
|000001c0| 32 00 00 00 22 00 00 00 | 39 00 00 00 22 00 00 00 |2..."...|9..."...|
|000001d0| 3f 00 00 00 49 00 00 00 | 36 00 00 00 31 00 00 00 |?...I...|6...1...|
|000001e0| 45 00 00 00 5a 00 00 00 | 45 00 00 00 5d 00 00 00 |E...Z...|E...]...|
|000001f0| 32 00 00 00 97 00 00 00 | 3a 00 00 00 3d 00 00 00 |2.......|:...=...|
|00000200| 5c 00 00 00 44 00 00 00 | 25 00 00 00 78 00 00 00 |\...D...|%...x...|
|00000210| 4c 00 00 00 83 00 00 00 | 29 00 00 00 5b 00 00 00 |L.......|)...[...|
|00000220| 33 00 00 00 7c 00 00 00 | 57 00 00 00 4e 00 00 00 |3...|...|W...N...|
|00000230| 47 00 00 00 99 00 00 00 | 28 00 00 00 4b 00 00 00 |G.......|(...K...|
|00000240| 46 00 00 00 33 00 00 00 | 8f 00 00 00 53 00 00 00 |F...3...|....S...|
|00000250| 56 00 00 00 4d 00 00 00 | 5d 00 00 00 5a 00 00 00 |V...M...|]...Z...|
|00000260| 8b 00 00 00 42 00 00 00 | 25 00 00 00 3b 00 00 00 |....B...|%...;...|
|00000270| 21 00 00 00 23 00 00 00 | 4f 00 00 00 58 00 00 00 |!...#...|O...X...|
|00000280| 26 00 00 00 6b 00 00 00 | 53 00 00 00 31 00 00 00 |&...k...|S...1...|
|00000290| 5b 00 00 00 37 00 00 00 | 26 00 00 00 49 00 00 00 |[...7...|&...I...|
|000002a0| 47 00 00 00 36 00 00 00 | 2a 00 00 00 4b 00 00 00 |G...6...|*...K...|
|000002b0| 42 00 00 00 40 00 00 00 | 29 00 00 00 41 00 00 00 |B...@...|)...A...|
|000002c0| 37 00 00 00 6f 00 00 00 | 22 00 00 00 2b 00 00 00 |7...o...|"...+...|
|000002d0| 4f 00 00 00 3d 00 00 00 | 59 00 00 00 4b 00 00 00 |O...=...|Y...K...|
|000002e0| 19 00 00 00 24 00 00 00 | 84 00 00 00 4c 00 00 00 |....$...|....L...|
|000002f0| 31 00 00 00 2f 00 00 00 | 36 00 00 00 32 00 00 00 |1.../...|6...2...|
|00000300| 4a 00 00 00 83 00 00 00 | 31 00 00 00 40 00 00 00 |J.......|1...@...|
|00000310| 2d 00 00 00 30 00 00 00 | 4d 00 00 00 49 00 00 00 |-...0...|M...I...|
|00000320| 1e 00 00 00 4e 00 00 00 | 52 00 00 00 28 00 00 00 |....N...|R...(...|
|00000330| 3f 00 00 00 39 00 00 00 | 36 00 00 00 1f 00 00 00 |?...9...|6.......|
|00000340| 1d 00 00 00 5c 00 00 00 | 58 00 00 00 5d 00 00 00 |....\...|X...]...|
|00000350| b8 00 00 00 1d 00 00 00 | 60 00 00 00 17 00 00 00 |........|`.......|
|00000360| 94 00 00 00 3c 00 00 00 | 54 00 00 00 46 00 00 00 |....<...|T...F...|
|00000370| 39 00 00 00 05 02 00 00 | 1a 02 00 00 3f 00 00 00 |9.......|....?...|
|00000380| 59 00 00 00 2f 00 00 00 | 37 00 00 00 2b 00 00 00 |Y.../...|7...+...|
|00000390| 84 00 00 00 77 00 00 00 | 37 00 00 00 59 00 00 00 |....w...|7...Y...|
|000003a0| 56 00 00 00 71 00 00 00 | 46 00 00 00 6e 00 00 00 |V...q...|F...n...|
|000003b0| b0 00 00 00 47 00 00 00 | 1d 00 00 00 42 00 00 00 |....G...|....B...|
|000003c0| 39 00 00 00 34 00 00 00 | 53 00 00 00 46 00 00 00 |9...4...|S...F...|
|000003d0| 6a 00 00 00 29 00 00 00 | 2b 00 00 00 99 00 00 00 |j...)...|+.......|
|000003e0| b8 00 00 00 79 00 00 00 | 2e 00 00 00 28 00 00 00 |....y...|....(...|
|000003f0| 4c 00 00 00 65 00 00 00 | 4e 00 00 00 46 00 00 00 |L...e...|N...F...|
|00000400| 38 00 00 00 36 00 00 00 | 24 00 00 00 28 00 00 00 |8...6...|$...(...|
|00000410| 86 00 00 00 74 00 00 00 | 49 00 00 00 7e 00 00 00 |....t...|I...~...|
|00000420| 98 00 00 00 96 00 00 00 | 58 00 00 00 4c 00 00 00 |........|X...L...|
|00000430| 3a 00 00 00 77 00 00 00 | 60 00 00 00 53 00 00 00 |:...w...|`...S...|
|00000440| 3f 00 00 00 16 00 00 00 | 37 00 00 00 52 00 00 00 |?.......|7...R...|
|00000450| 1f 00 00 00 4b 00 00 00 | 2e 00 00 00 48 00 00 00 |....K...|....H...|
|00000460| 46 00 00 00 20 00 00 00 | 32 00 00 00 aa 00 00 00 |F... ...|2.......|
|00000470| a6 00 00 00 99 00 00 00 | 5b 00 00 00 4f 00 00 00 |........|[...O...|
|00000480| 48 00 00 00 7e 00 00 00 | e5 02 00 00 2d 00 00 00 |H...~...|....-...|
|00000490| 3d 00 00 00 47 00 00 00 | 37 00 00 00 6f 00 00 00 |=...G...|7...o...|
|000004a0| 6f 00 00 00 05 01 00 00 | 3d 00 00 00 2b 00 00 00 |o.......|=...+...|
|000004b0| 40 00 00 00 47 00 00 00 | 5b 00 00 00 80 00 00 00 |@...G...|[.......|
|000004c0| 5a 00 00 00 8d 00 00 00 | 2d 00 00 00 3f 00 00 00 |Z.......|-...?...|
|000004d0| 5b 00 00 00 5b 00 00 00 | 4d 00 00 00 48 00 00 00 |[...[...|M...H...|
|000004e0| 55 00 00 00 3e 00 00 00 | 54 00 00 00 5a 00 00 00 |U...>...|T...Z...|
|000004f0| 92 00 00 00 44 00 00 00 | 1f 00 00 00 57 00 00 00 |....D...|....W...|
|00000500| 5c 00 00 00 75 00 00 00 | 54 00 00 00 3e 00 00 00 |\...u...|T...>...|
|00000510| 23 00 00 00 61 00 00 00 | 42 00 00 00 4f 00 00 00 |#...a...|B...O...|
|00000520| 47 00 00 00 62 00 00 00 | 63 00 00 00 4f 00 00 00 |G...b...|c...O...|
|00000530| 46 00 00 00 4c 00 00 00 | 3e 00 00 00 68 00 00 00 |F...L...|>...h...|
|00000540| 36 00 00 00 2a 00 00 00 | 3a 00 00 00 3a 00 00 00 |6...*...|:...:...|
|00000550| 60 00 00 00 3d 00 00 00 | 27 00 00 00 2a 00 00 00 |`...=...|'...*...|
|00000560| 33 00 00 00 68 00 00 00 | 6a 00 00 00 39 00 00 00 |3...h...|j...9...|
|00000570| 61 00 00 00 80 00 00 00 | 40 00 00 00 1d 00 00 00 |a.......|@.......|
|00000580| 90 00 00 00 78 00 00 00 | 4c 00 00 00 83 00 00 00 |....x...|L.......|
|00000590| 29 00 00 00 5b 00 00 00 | 33 00 00 00 7c 00 00 00 |)...[...|3...|...|
|000005a0| 57 00 00 00 4e 00 00 00 | 47 00 00 00 99 00 00 00 |W...N...|G.......|
|000005b0| 28 00 00 00 4b 00 00 00 | 5e 00 00 00 3b 00 00 00 |(...K...|^...;...|
|000005c0| 3c 00 00 00 51 00 00 00 | 48 00 00 00 63 00 00 00 |<...Q...|H...c...|
|000005d0| 4b 00 00 00 3c 00 00 00 | 45 00 00 00 3d 00 00 00 |K...<...|E...=...|
|000005e0| 5a 00 00 00 3a 00 00 00 | 38 00 00 00 6c 00 00 00 |Z...:...|8...l...|
|000005f0| 36 00 00 00 28 00 00 00 | 3f 00 00 00 1f 00 00 00 |6...(...|?.......|
|00000600| 46 00 00 00 33 00 00 00 | 8f 00 00 00 53 00 00 00 |F...3...|....S...|
|00000610| 56 00 00 00 4d 00 00 00 | 5d 00 00 00 5a 00 00 00 |V...M...|]...Z...|
|00000620| 8b 00 00 00 42 00 00 00 | 25 00 00 00 79 00 00 00 |....B...|%...y...|
|00000630| 49 00 00 00 50 00 00 00 | 1f 01 00 00 12 01 00 00 |I...P...|........|
|00000640| 39 00 00 00 2f 00 00 00 | 3b 00 00 00 3a 00 00 00 |9.../...|;...:...|
|00000650| 17 00 00 00 59 00 00 00 | 6f 00 00 00 2d 00 00 00 |....Y...|o...-...|
|00000660| 74 00 00 00 3e 00 00 00 | 35 00 00 00 7c 00 00 00 |t...>...|5...|...|
|00000670| 71 00 00 00 48 00 00 00 | 72 00 00 00 5e 00 00 00 |q...H...|r...^...|
|00000680| 74 00 00 00 35 00 00 00 | 2b 00 00 00 39 00 00 00 |t...5...|+...9...|
|00000690| 37 00 00 00 6a 00 00 00 | 86 00 00 00 47 00 00 00 |7...j...|....G...|
|000006a0| 1c 00 00 00 4c 00 00 00 | 65 00 00 00 73 00 00 00 |....L...|e...s...|
|000006b0| 3b 00 00 00 67 00 00 00 | 33 00 00 00 43 00 00 00 |;...g...|3...C...|
|000006c0| 55 00 00 00 45 00 00 00 | 55 00 00 00 41 00 00 00 |U...E...|U...A...|
|000006d0| 5b 00 00 00 d8 00 00 00 | de 00 00 00 48 00 00 00 |[.......|....H...|
|000006e0| 45 00 00 00 56 00 00 00 | 84 00 00 00 4e 00 00 00 |E...V...|....N...|
|000006f0| 4a 01 00 00 fd 00 00 00 | 64 00 00 00 31 00 00 00 |J.......|d...1...|
|00000700| 68 00 00 00 2b 00 00 00 | 23 00 00 00 46 00 00 00 |h...+...|#...F...|
|00000710| 6c 00 00 00 67 00 00 00 | 24 00 00 00 4d 00 00 00 |l...g...|$...M...|
|00000720| 74 00 00 00 4a 00 00 00 | 53 00 00 00 5f 00 00 00 |t...J...|S..._...|
|00000730| 4b 00 00 00 7e 00 00 00 | e8 00 00 00 4a 00 00 00 |K...~...|....J...|
|00000740| 34 00 00 00 9d 00 00 00 | 9c 00 00 00 7b 00 00 00 |4.......|....{...|
|00000750| 4d 00 00 00 73 00 00 00 | 4b 01 00 00 4a 00 00 00 |M...s...|K...J...|
|00000760| 43 00 00 00 6a 00 00 00 | 1f 00 00 00 38 00 00 00 |C...j...|....8...|
|00000770| 56 00 00 00 41 00 00 00 | 3f 00 00 00 b9 00 00 00 |V...A...|?.......|
|00000780| 50 00 00 00 76 00 00 00 | 5c 00 00 00 5c 00 00 00 |P...v...|\...\...|
|00000790| 3d 00 00 00 39 00 00 00 | 58 00 00 00 3e 00 00 00 |=...9...|X...>...|
|000007a0| 6c 00 00 00 7a 02 00 00 | 6c 00 00 00 57 00 00 00 |l...z...|l...W...|
|000007b0| 4f 00 00 00 2c 00 00 00 | 58 00 00 00 41 00 00 00 |O...,...|X...A...|
|000007c0| 25 02 00 00 61 00 00 00 | 44 00 00 00 2f 00 00 00 |%...a...|D.../...|
|000007d0| b2 00 00 00 70 00 00 00 | 7a 00 00 00 15 00 00 00 |....p...|z.......|
|000007e0| 30 00 00 00 51 00 00 00 | 91 00 00 00 42 00 00 00 |0...Q...|....B...|
|000007f0| 3d 00 00 00 45 00 00 00 | 74 00 00 00 4a 00 00 00 |=...E...|t...J...|
|00000800| 2b 00 00 00 52 00 00 00 | 32 00 00 00 47 00 00 00 |+...R...|2...G...|
|00000810| 26 00 00 00 30 00 00 00 | 26 00 00 00 8b 00 00 00 |&...0...|&.......|
|00000820| 50 00 00 00 27 00 00 00 | 27 00 00 00 72 00 00 00 |P...'...|'...r...|
|00000830| 4f 00 00 00 60 00 00 00 | 1e 00 00 00 2a 00 00 00 |O...`...|....*...|
|00000840| c4 00 00 00 e9 01 00 00 | c8 00 00 00 49 00 00 00 |........|....I...|
|00000850| 7f 00 00 00 51 00 00 00 | e1 00 00 00 60 00 00 00 |....Q...|....`...|
|00000860| 3c 00 00 00 59 00 00 00 | 5f 00 00 00 76 00 00 00 |<...Y...|_...v...|
|00000870| 93 00 00 00 4a 00 00 00 | 57 00 00 00 f2 00 00 00 |....J...|W.......|
|00000880| 3c 00 00 00 33 00 00 00 | 78 00 00 00 5a 00 00 00 |<...3...|x...Z...|
|00000890| 3a 00 00 00 4c 02 00 00 | c0 02 00 00 b1 00 00 00 |:...L...|........|
|000008a0| 68 00 00 00 34 00 00 00 | 60 00 00 00 2d 02 00 00 |h...4...|`...-...|
|000008b0| 7e 00 00 00 b8 03 00 00 | 49 00 00 00 55 00 00 00 |~.......|I...U...|
|000008c0| 42 00 00 00 4c 00 00 00 | 67 00 00 00 60 00 00 00 |B...L...|g...`...|
|000008d0| 48 00 00 00 8f 00 00 00 | 8e 00 00 00 61 00 00 00 |H.......|....a...|
|000008e0| 74 00 00 00 62 00 00 00 | 51 00 00 00 34 00 00 00 |t...b...|Q...4...|
|000008f0| 84 00 00 00 22 00 00 00 | 67 00 00 00 5a 00 00 00 |...."...|g...Z...|
|00000900| 4e 00 00 00 c4 00 00 00 | 1f 00 00 00 69 00 00 00 |N.......|....i...|
|00000910| 23 00 00 00 33 01 00 00 | 45 00 00 00 54 68 65 72 |#...3...|E...Ther|
|00000920| 65 20 77 61 73 20 74 68 | 69 73 20 67 75 79 20 77 |e was th|is guy w|
|00000930| 68 6f 20 77 61 73 20 6f | 6e 20 61 69 72 70 6c 61 |ho was o|n airpla|
|00000940| 6e 65 2c 20 68 65 20 68 | 61 64 20 74 6f 20 67 6f |ne, he h|ad to go|
|00000950| 20 74 6f 20 74 68 65 20 | 62 61 74 68 72 6f 6f 6d | to the |bathroom|
|00000960| 20 72 65 61 6c 6c 79 20 | 62 61 64 2e 2e 20 57 65 | really |bad.. We|
|00000970| 6c 6c 20 65 76 65 72 79 | 74 69 6d 65 20 68 65 20 |ll every|time he |
|00000980| 77 6f 75 6c 64 20 67 6f | 20 74 6f 20 74 68 65 20 |would go| to the |
|00000990| 62 61 74 68 72 6f 6f 6d | 20 73 6f 6d 65 6f 6e 65 |bathroom| someone|
|000009a0| 20 77 61 73 20 61 6c 77 | 61 79 73 20 69 6e 20 69 | was alw|ays in i|
|000009b0| 74 2e 53 6f 20 68 65 20 | 66 69 6e 61 6c 6c 79 20 |t.So he |finally |
|000009c0| 61 73 6b 65 64 20 74 68 | 65 20 66 6c 69 67 68 74 |asked th|e flight|
|000009d0| 20 61 74 74 65 6e 64 61 | 6e 74 20 69 66 20 68 65 | attenda|nt if he|
|000009e0| 20 63 6f 75 6c 64 20 75 | 73 65 20 74 68 65 20 6c | could u|se the l|
|000009f0| 61 64 69 65 73 20 72 6f | 6f 6d 2e 20 53 68 65 20 |adies ro|om. She |
|00000a00| 73 61 69 64 2c 20 77 65 | 6c 6c 20 73 69 72 20 49 |said, we|ll sir I|
|00000a10| 27 6d 20 6e 6f 74 20 73 | 75 72 65 20 69 66 20 74 |'m not s|ure if t|
|00000a20| 68 61 74 20 77 6f 75 6c | 64 20 62 65 20 61 20 67 |hat woul|d be a g|
|00000a30| 6f 6f 64 20 69 64 65 61 | 2c 79 6f 75 20 73 65 65 |ood idea|,you see|
|00000a40| 20 74 68 65 72 65 20 61 | 72 65 20 62 75 74 74 6f | there a|re butto|
|00000a50| 6e 73 20 69 6e 20 74 68 | 65 72 65 2e 20 48 65 20 |ns in th|ere. He |
|00000a60| 73 61 79 73 20 2c 4f 68 | 20 70 6c 65 61 73 65 20 |says ,Oh| please |
|00000a70| 70 6c 65 61 73 65 20 49 | 20 72 65 61 6c 6c 79 20 |please I| really |
|00000a80| 68 61 76 65 20 74 6f 20 | 67 6f 20 61 6e 64 20 49 |have to |go and I|
|00000a90| 20 70 72 6f 6d 69 73 65 | 20 49 20 77 6f 6e 27 74 | promise| I won't|
|00000aa0| 20 70 75 73 68 20 61 6e | 79 20 62 75 74 74 6f 6e | push an|y button|
|00000ab0| 73 2e 53 6f 20 73 68 65 | 20 74 65 6c 6c 73 20 68 |s.So she| tells h|
|00000ac0| 69 6d 20 67 6f 20 61 68 | 65 61 64 2c 6a 75 73 74 |im go ah|ead,just|
|00000ad0| 20 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 70 | 75 73 68 20 61 6e 79 20 | don't p|ush any |
|00000ae0| 62 75 74 74 6f 6e 73 2e | 20 53 6f 20 68 65 20 67 |buttons.| So he g|
|00000af0| 6f 65 73 20 69 6e 20 74 | 68 65 72 65 20 68 65 27 |oes in t|here he'|
|00000b00| 73 20 73 69 74 74 69 6e | 67 20 6f 6e 20 74 68 65 |s sittin|g on the|
|00000b10| 20 74 6f 69 6c 65 74 20 | 64 6f 69 6e 67 20 68 69 | toilet |doing hi|
|00000b20| 73 20 64 75 74 79 2e 20 | 57 65 6c 6c 20 68 65 20 |s duty. |Well he |
|00000b30| 6c 6f 6f 6b 73 20 6f 76 | 65 72 20 61 6e 64 20 73 |looks ov|er and s|
|00000b40| 65 65 73 20 74 68 72 65 | 65 20 62 75 74 74 6f 6e |ees thre|e button|
|00000b50| 73 2e 20 4f 6e 65 20 69 | 73 20 79 65 6c 6c 6f 77 |s. One i|s yellow|
|00000b60| 2c 6f 6e 65 20 69 73 20 | 72 65 64 20 61 6e 64 20 |,one is |red and |
|00000b70| 6f 6e 65 20 69 73 20 67 | 72 65 65 6e 2e 20 48 65 |one is g|reen. He|
|00000b80| 20 70 75 73 68 65 73 20 | 74 68 65 20 79 65 6c 6c | pushes |the yell|
|00000b90| 6f 77 20 62 75 74 74 6f | 6e 20 61 6e 64 20 6f 75 |ow butto|n and ou|
|00000ba0| 74 20 63 6f 6d 65 73 20 | 77 61 74 65 72 20 61 6e |t comes |water an|
|00000bb0| 64 20 73 70 72 61 79 73 | 20 68 69 73 20 62 65 68 |d sprays| his beh|
|00000bc0| 69 6e 64 2e 48 65 20 74 | 68 69 6e 6b 73 20 27 77 |ind.He t|hinks 'w|
|00000bd0| 6f 77 20 74 68 61 74 20 | 66 65 6c 74 20 67 6f 6f |ow that |felt goo|
|00000be0| 64 2c 20 49 27 6c 6c 20 | 70 72 65 73 73 20 74 68 |d, I'll |press th|
|00000bf0| 65 20 72 65 64 20 62 75 | 74 74 6f 6e 27 2e 53 6f |e red bu|tton'.So|
|00000c00| 20 68 65 20 70 75 73 68 | 65 73 20 74 68 65 20 72 | he push|es the r|
|00000c10| 65 64 20 62 75 74 74 6f | 6e 20 61 6e 64 20 6f 75 |ed butto|n and ou|
|00000c20| 74 20 63 6f 6d 65 73 20 | 61 20 70 6f 77 64 65 72 |t comes |a powder|
|00000c30| 20 70 75 66 66 20 61 6e | 64 20 64 72 69 65 73 20 | puff an|d dries |
|00000c40| 68 69 6d 20 6f 66 66 20 | 61 6e 64 20 70 6f 77 64 |him off |and powd|
|00000c50| 65 72 73 20 68 69 6d 2e | 53 6f 20 74 68 65 6e 20 |ers him.|So then |
|00000c60| 68 65 20 70 75 73 68 65 | 73 20 74 68 65 20 67 72 |he pushe|s the gr|
|00000c70| 65 65 6e 20 62 75 74 74 | 6f 6e 2e 2e 20 48 65 20 |een butt|on.. He |
|00000c80| 70 61 73 73 65 73 20 6f | 75 74 20 61 6e 64 20 77 |passes o|ut and w|
|00000c90| 61 6b 65 73 20 75 70 20 | 69 6e 20 68 6f 73 70 69 |akes up |in hospi|
|00000ca0| 74 61 6c 2e 20 48 65 20 | 6c 6f 6f 6b 73 20 75 70 |tal. He |looks up|
|00000cb0| 20 61 74 20 74 68 65 20 | 66 6c 69 67 68 74 20 61 | at the |flight a|
|00000cc0| 74 74 65 6e 64 61 6e 74 | 20 61 6e 64 20 73 68 65 |ttendant| and she|
|00000cd0| 20 73 61 79 73 20 27 79 | 6f 75 20 70 75 73 68 65 | says 'y|ou pushe|
|00000ce0| 64 20 74 68 65 20 67 72 | 65 65 6e 20 62 75 74 74 |d the gr|een butt|
|00000cf0| 6f 6e 20 64 69 64 6e 27 | 74 20 79 6f 75 3f 27 48 |on didn'|t you?'H|
|00000d00| 65 20 6b 6e 6f 64 73 2e | 2e 20 48 65 20 73 61 69 |e knods.|. He sai|
|00000d10| 64 20 27 57 68 61 74 20 | 68 61 70 70 65 6e 65 64 |d 'What |happened|
|00000d20| 3f 27 20 53 68 65 20 73 | 61 69 64 20 27 54 68 65 |?' She s|aid 'The|
|00000d30| 20 67 72 65 65 6e 20 62 | 75 74 74 6f 6e 20 77 61 | green b|utton wa|
|00000d40| 73 20 61 6e 20 41 75 74 | 6f 6d 61 74 69 63 20 54 |s an Aut|omatic T|
|00000d50| 61 6d 70 6f 6e 20 52 65 | 6d 6f 76 65 72 2c 79 6f |ampon Re|mover,yo|
|00000d60| 75 72 20 64 69 63 6b 20 | 69 73 20 6c 61 79 69 6e |ur dick |is layin|
|00000d70| 67 20 75 6e 64 65 72 20 | 79 6f 75 72 20 70 69 6c |g under |your pil|
|00000d80| 6c 6f 77 27 57 68 79 20 | 64 69 64 20 74 68 65 20 |low'Why |did the |
|00000d90| 6d 61 6e 20 63 72 6f 73 | 73 20 74 68 65 20 72 6f |man cros|s the ro|
|00000da0| 61 64 3f 20 42 65 63 61 | 75 73 65 20 74 68 65 72 |ad? Beca|use ther|
|00000db0| 65 20 77 65 72 65 20 6e | 6f 20 77 6f 6d 65 6e 20 |e were n|o women |
|00000dc0| 6f 6e 20 68 69 73 20 73 | 69 64 65 2e 57 68 61 74 |on his s|ide.What|
|00000dd0| 20 64 6f 20 6d 65 6e 20 | 61 6e 64 20 6c 69 6e 6f | do men |and lino|
|00000de0| 6c 65 75 6d 20 68 61 76 | 65 20 69 6e 20 63 6f 6d |leum hav|e in com|
|00000df0| 6d 6f 6e 3f 20 4c 61 79 | 20 74 68 65 6d 20 72 69 |mon? Lay| them ri|
|00000e00| 67 68 74 20 61 6e 64 20 | 79 6f 75 20 63 61 6e 20 |ght and |you can |
|00000e10| 77 61 6c 6b 20 61 6c 6c | 20 6f 76 65 72 20 74 68 |walk all| over th|
|00000e20| 65 6d 20 74 68 65 20 72 | 65 73 74 20 6f 66 20 79 |em the r|est of y|
|00000e30| 6f 75 72 20 6c 69 66 65 | 2e 48 6f 77 20 63 61 6e |our life|.How can|
|00000e40| 20 79 6f 75 20 74 65 6c | 6c 20 69 66 20 61 20 6d | you tel|l if a m|
|00000e50| 61 6e 20 69 73 20 77 65 | 6c 6c 20 68 75 6e 67 3f |an is we|ll hung?|
|00000e60| 20 49 66 20 79 6f 75 20 | 63 61 6e 27 74 20 67 65 | If you |can't ge|
|00000e70| 74 20 79 6f 75 72 20 66 | 69 6e 67 65 72 20 62 65 |t your f|inger be|
|00000e80| 74 77 65 65 6e 20 74 68 | 65 20 72 6f 70 65 20 61 |tween th|e rope a|
|00000e90| 6e 64 20 68 69 73 20 6e | 65 63 6b 21 21 21 21 57 |nd his n|eck!!!!W|
|00000ea0| 68 61 74 27 73 20 74 68 | 65 20 64 69 66 66 2e 20 |hat's th|e diff. |
|00000eb0| 62 65 74 77 65 65 6e 20 | 42 69 67 66 6f 6f 74 20 |between |Bigfoot |
|00000ec0| 61 6e 64 20 61 6e 20 68 | 6f 6e 65 73 74 20 6d 61 |and an h|onest ma|
|00000ed0| 6e 3f 20 42 69 67 66 6f | 6f 74 20 68 61 73 20 62 |n? Bigfo|ot has b|
|00000ee0| 65 65 6e 20 73 69 67 68 | 74 65 64 21 57 68 61 74 |een sigh|ted!What|
|00000ef0| 20 69 73 20 74 68 65 20 | 64 69 66 66 65 72 65 6e | is the |differen|
|00000f00| 63 65 20 62 65 74 77 65 | 65 6e 20 67 6f 76 65 72 |ce betwe|en gover|
|00000f10| 6e 6d 65 6e 74 20 62 6f | 6e 64 73 20 61 6e 64 20 |nment bo|nds and |
|00000f20| 6d 65 6e 3f 20 47 6f 76 | 65 72 6e 6d 65 6e 74 20 |men? Gov|ernment |
|00000f30| 62 6f 6e 64 73 20 6d 61 | 74 75 72 65 2e 57 68 61 |bonds ma|ture.Wha|
|00000f40| 74 27 73 20 61 20 6d 61 | 6e 27 73 20 69 64 65 61 |t's a ma|n's idea|
|00000f50| 20 6f 66 20 68 65 6c 70 | 69 6e 67 20 77 69 74 68 | of help|ing with|
|00000f60| 20 68 6f 75 73 65 20 77 | 6f 72 6b 3f 20 6c 69 66 | house w|ork? lif|
|00000f70| 74 69 6e 67 20 68 69 73 | 20 6c 65 67 73 20 73 6f |ting his| legs so|
|00000f80| 20 79 6f 75 20 63 61 6e | 20 76 61 63 75 75 6d 2e | you can| vacuum.|
|00000f90| 20 57 68 61 74 27 73 20 | 74 68 65 20 64 69 66 66 | What's |the diff|
|00000fa0| 65 72 65 6e 63 65 20 62 | 65 74 77 65 65 6e 20 6d |erence b|etween m|
|00000fb0| 61 6e 20 61 6e 64 20 45 | 2e 54 2e 3f 20 45 2e 54 |an and E|.T.? E.T|
|00000fc0| 2e 20 70 68 6f 6e 65 64 | 20 68 6f 6d 65 2e 20 48 |. phoned| home. H|
|00000fd0| 6f 77 20 64 6f 20 6d 65 | 6e 20 64 65 66 69 6e 65 |ow do me|n define|
|00000fe0| 20 61 20 35 30 2f 35 30 | 20 72 65 6c 61 74 69 6f | a 50/50| relatio|
|00000ff0| 6e 73 68 69 70 3f 20 54 | 68 65 79 20 63 6f 6f 6b |nship? T|hey cook|
|00001000| 2c 20 77 65 20 65 61 74 | 2e 20 54 68 65 79 20 63 |, we eat|. They c|
|00001010| 6c 65 61 6e 2c 20 77 65 | 20 64 69 72 74 79 2e 20 |lean, we| dirty. |
|00001020| 54 68 65 79 20 69 72 6f | 6e 2c 20 77 65 20 77 72 |They iro|n, we wr|
|00001030| 69 6e 6b 6c 65 57 68 61 | 74 27 73 20 74 68 65 20 |inkleWha|t's the |
|00001040| 62 65 73 74 20 77 61 79 | 20 74 6f 20 67 65 74 20 |best way| to get |
|00001050| 61 20 6d 61 6e 20 74 6f | 20 64 6f 20 73 69 74 20 |a man to| do sit |
|00001060| 75 70 73 3f 20 70 75 74 | 20 74 68 65 20 72 65 6d |ups? put| the rem|
|00001070| 6f 6e 74 20 62 65 74 77 | 65 65 6e 20 74 68 65 69 |ont betw|een thei|
|00001080| 72 20 74 6f 65 73 2e 20 | 48 6f 77 20 64 6f 20 6d |r toes. |How do m|
|00001090| 65 6e 20 65 78 65 72 63 | 69 73 65 20 61 74 20 74 |en exerc|ise at t|
|000010a0| 68 65 20 62 65 61 63 68 | 3f 20 45 76 65 72 79 74 |he beach|? Everyt|
|000010b0| 69 6d 65 20 74 68 65 79 | 20 73 65 65 20 61 20 62 |ime they| see a b|
|000010c0| 69 6b 69 6e 69 2c 20 74 | 68 65 79 20 73 75 63 6b |ikini, t|hey suck|
|000010d0| 20 74 68 65 69 72 20 62 | 65 6c 6c 79 20 69 6e 2e | their b|elly in.|
|000010e0| 57 68 61 74 20 64 6f 65 | 73 20 61 20 6d 61 6e 20 |What doe|s a man |
|000010f0| 63 6f 6e 63 69 64 65 72 | 20 61 20 73 65 76 65 6e |concider| a seven|
|00001100| 20 63 6f 72 73 65 20 6d | 65 61 6c 20 74 6f 20 62 | corse m|eal to b|
|00001110| 65 3f 20 20 41 20 68 6f | 74 20 64 6f 67 20 61 6e |e? A ho|t dog an|
|00001120| 64 20 61 20 36 20 70 61 | 63 6b 57 68 79 20 69 73 |d a 6 pa|ckWhy is|
|00001130| 20 69 74 20 67 6f 6f 64 | 20 74 68 61 74 20 74 68 | it good| that th|
|00001140| 65 72 65 20 61 72 65 20 | 66 65 6d 61 6c 65 20 61 |ere are |female a|
|00001150| 73 74 72 6f 6e 61 75 74 | 73 3f 20 62 65 63 61 75 |stronaut|s? becau|
|00001160| 73 65 20 69 66 20 74 68 | 65 20 63 72 65 77 20 67 |se if th|e crew g|
|00001170| 65 74 73 20 6c 6f 73 74 | 2c 20 61 74 20 6c 65 61 |ets lost|, at lea|
|00001180| 73 74 20 74 68 65 20 77 | 6f 6d 61 6e 20 77 69 6c |st the w|oman wil|
|00001190| 6c 20 61 73 6b 20 66 6f | 72 20 64 69 72 65 63 74 |l ask fo|r direct|
|000011a0| 69 6f 6e 73 2e 41 6e 20 | 49 72 69 73 68 6d 61 6e |ions.An |Irishman|
|000011b0| 20 77 61 6c 6b 73 20 69 | 6e 74 6f 20 61 20 62 61 | walks i|nto a ba|
|000011c0| 72 20 69 6e 20 44 75 62 | 6c 69 6e 2c 20 6f 72 64 |r in Dub|lin, ord|
|000011d0| 65 72 73 20 74 68 72 65 | 65 20 70 69 6e 74 73 20 |ers thre|e pints |
|000011e0| 6f 66 20 47 75 69 6e 6e | 65 73 73 20 61 6e 64 20 |of Guinn|ess and |
|000011f0| 73 69 74 73 20 69 6e 20 | 74 68 65 20 62 61 63 6b |sits in |the back|
|00001200| 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 | 72 6f 6f 6d 2c 20 64 72 | of the |room, dr|
|00001210| 69 6e 6b 69 6e 67 20 61 | 20 73 69 70 20 6f 75 74 |inking a| sip out|
|00001220| 20 6f 66 20 65 61 63 68 | 20 6f 6e 65 20 69 6e 20 | of each| one in |
|00001230| 74 75 72 6e 2e 20 57 68 | 65 6e 20 68 65 20 66 69 |turn. Wh|en he fi|
|00001240| 6e 69 73 68 65 73 20 74 | 68 65 6d 2c 20 68 65 20 |nishes t|hem, he |
|00001250| 63 6f 6d 65 73 20 62 61 | 63 6b 20 74 6f 20 74 68 |comes ba|ck to th|
|00001260| 65 20 62 61 72 20 61 6e | 64 20 6f 72 64 65 72 73 |e bar an|d orders|
|00001270| 20 74 68 72 65 65 20 6d | 6f 72 65 2e 20 54 68 65 | three m|ore. The|
|00001280| 20 62 61 72 74 65 6e 64 | 65 72 20 61 73 6b 73 20 | bartend|er asks |
|00001290| 68 69 6d 2c 20 27 59 6f | 75 20 6b 6e 6f 77 2c 20 |him, 'Yo|u know, |
|000012a0| 61 20 70 69 6e 74 20 67 | 6f 65 73 20 66 6c 61 74 |a pint g|oes flat|
|000012b0| 20 61 66 74 65 72 20 49 | 20 64 72 61 77 20 69 74 | after I| draw it|
|000012c0| 3b 20 69 74 20 77 6f 75 | 6c 64 20 74 61 73 74 65 |; it wou|ld taste|
|000012d0| 20 62 65 74 74 65 72 20 | 69 66 20 79 6f 75 20 62 | better |if you b|
|000012e0| 6f 75 67 68 74 20 6f 6e | 65 20 61 74 20 61 20 74 |ought on|e at a t|
|000012f0| 69 6d 65 2e 27 20 54 68 | 65 20 49 72 69 73 68 6d |ime.' Th|e Irishm|
|00001300| 61 6e 20 72 65 70 6c 69 | 65 73 2c 20 27 57 65 6c |an repli|es, 'Wel|
|00001310| 6c 2c 20 79 6f 75 20 73 | 65 65 2c 20 49 20 68 61 |l, you s|ee, I ha|
|00001320| 76 65 20 74 77 6f 20 62 | 72 6f 74 68 65 72 73 2e |ve two b|rothers.|
|00001330| 20 4f 6e 65 20 69 73 20 | 69 6e 20 41 6d 65 72 69 | One is |in Ameri|
|00001340| 63 61 2c 20 74 68 65 20 | 6f 74 68 65 72 20 69 6e |ca, the |other in|
|00001350| 20 41 75 73 74 72 61 6c | 69 61 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 | Austral|ia, and |
|00001360| 49 27 6d 20 68 65 72 65 | 20 69 6e 20 44 75 62 6c |I'm here| in Dubl|
|00001370| 69 6e 2e 20 57 68 65 6e | 20 77 65 20 61 6c 6c 20 |in. When| we all |
|00001380| 6c 65 66 74 20 68 6f 6d | 65 2c 20 77 65 20 70 72 |left hom|e, we pr|
|00001390| 6f 6d 69 73 65 64 20 74 | 68 61 74 20 77 65 27 64 |omised t|hat we'd|
|000013a0| 20 64 72 69 6e 6b 20 74 | 68 69 73 20 77 61 79 20 | drink t|his way |
|000013b0| 74 6f 20 72 65 6d 65 6d | 62 65 72 20 74 68 65 20 |to remem|ber the |
|000013c0| 64 61 79 73 20 77 68 65 | 6e 20 77 65 20 64 72 61 |days whe|n we dra|
|000013d0| 6e 6b 20 74 6f 67 65 74 | 68 65 72 2e 27 20 54 68 |nk toget|her.' Th|
|000013e0| 65 20 62 61 72 74 65 6e | 64 65 72 20 61 64 6d 69 |e barten|der admi|
|000013f0| 74 73 20 74 68 61 74 20 | 74 68 69 73 20 69 73 20 |ts that |this is |
|00001400| 61 20 6e 69 63 65 20 63 | 75 73 74 6f 6d 2c 20 61 |a nice c|ustom, a|
|00001410| 6e 64 20 6c 65 61 76 65 | 73 20 69 74 20 74 68 65 |nd leave|s it the|
|00001420| 72 65 2e 20 54 68 65 20 | 49 72 69 73 68 6d 61 6e |re. The |Irishman|
|00001430| 20 62 65 63 6f 6d 65 73 | 20 61 20 72 65 67 75 6c | becomes| a regul|
|00001440| 61 72 20 69 6e 20 74 68 | 65 20 62 61 72 2c 20 61 |ar in th|e bar, a|
|00001450| 6e 64 20 61 6c 77 61 79 | 73 20 64 72 69 6e 6b 73 |nd alway|s drinks|
|00001460| 20 74 68 65 20 73 61 6d | 65 20 77 61 79 3a 20 48 | the sam|e way: H|
|00001470| 65 20 6f 72 64 65 72 73 | 20 74 68 72 65 65 20 70 |e orders| three p|
|00001480| 69 6e 74 73 20 61 6e 64 | 20 64 72 69 6e 6b 73 20 |ints and| drinks |
|00001490| 74 68 65 6d 20 69 6e 20 | 74 75 72 6e 2e 20 4f 6e |them in |turn. On|
|000014a0| 65 20 64 61 79 2c 20 68 | 65 20 63 6f 6d 65 73 20 |e day, h|e comes |
|000014b0| 69 6e 20 61 6e 64 20 6f | 72 64 65 72 73 20 74 77 |in and o|rders tw|
|000014c0| 6f 20 70 69 6e 74 73 2e | 20 41 6c 6c 20 74 68 65 |o pints.| All the|
|000014d0| 20 6f 74 68 65 72 20 72 | 65 67 75 6c 61 72 73 20 | other r|egulars |
|000014e0| 6e 6f 74 69 63 65 20 61 | 6e 64 20 66 61 6c 6c 20 |notice a|nd fall |
|000014f0| 73 69 6c 65 6e 74 2e 20 | 57 68 65 6e 20 68 65 20 |silent. |When he |
|00001500| 63 6f 6d 65 73 20 62 61 | 63 6b 20 74 6f 20 74 68 |comes ba|ck to th|
|00001510| 65 20 62 61 72 20 66 6f | 72 20 74 68 65 20 73 65 |e bar fo|r the se|
|00001520| 63 6f 6e 64 20 72 6f 75 | 6e 64 2c 20 74 68 65 20 |cond rou|nd, the |
|00001530| 62 61 72 74 65 6e 64 65 | 72 20 73 61 79 73 2c 20 |bartende|r says, |
|00001540| 27 49 20 64 6f 6e 27 74 | 20 77 61 6e 74 20 74 6f |'I don't| want to|
|00001550| 20 69 6e 74 72 75 64 65 | 20 6f 6e 20 79 6f 75 72 | intrude| on your|
|00001560| 20 67 72 69 65 66 2c 20 | 62 75 74 20 49 20 77 61 | grief, |but I wa|
|00001570| 6e 74 65 64 20 74 6f 20 | 6f 66 66 65 72 20 6d 79 |nted to |offer my|
|00001580| 20 63 6f 6e 64 6f 6c 65 | 6e 63 65 73 20 6f 6e 20 | condole|nces on |
|00001590| 79 6f 75 72 20 67 72 65 | 61 74 20 6c 6f 73 73 2e |your gre|at loss.|
|000015a0| 27 20 54 68 65 20 49 72 | 69 73 68 6d 61 6e 20 6c |' The Ir|ishman l|
|000015b0| 6f 6f 6b 73 20 63 6f 6e | 66 75 73 65 64 20 66 6f |ooks con|fused fo|
|000015c0| 72 20 61 20 6d 6f 6d 65 | 6e 74 2c 20 74 68 65 6e |r a mome|nt, then|
|000015d0| 20 61 20 6c 69 67 68 74 | 20 64 61 77 6e 73 20 69 | a light| dawns i|
|000015e0| 6e 20 68 69 73 20 65 79 | 65 20 61 6e 64 20 68 65 |n his ey|e and he|
|000015f0| 20 6c 61 75 67 68 73 2e | 20 27 4f 68 2c 20 6e 6f | laughs.| 'Oh, no|
|00001600| 2c 27 20 68 65 20 73 61 | 79 73 2c 20 27 65 76 65 |,' he sa|ys, 'eve|
|00001610| 72 79 6f 6e 65 27 73 20 | 66 69 6e 65 2e 20 49 27 |ryone's |fine. I'|
|00001620| 76 65 20 6a 75 73 74 20 | 71 75 69 74 20 64 72 69 |ve just |quit dri|
|00001630| 6e 6b 69 6e 67 2e 27 20 | 49 66 20 79 6f 75 20 68 |nking.' |If you h|
|00001640| 6f 6f 6b 20 61 20 64 6f | 67 20 6c 65 61 73 68 20 |ook a do|g leash |
|00001650| 6f 76 65 72 20 61 20 63 | 65 69 6c 69 6e 67 20 66 |over a c|eiling f|
|00001660| 61 6e 2c 20 74 68 65 20 | 6d 6f 74 6f 72 20 69 73 |an, the |motor is|
|00001670| 20 6e 6f 74 20 73 74 72 | 6f 6e 67 20 65 6e 6f 75 | not str|ong enou|
|00001680| 67 68 20 74 6f 20 72 6f | 74 61 74 65 20 61 20 34 |gh to ro|tate a 4|
|00001690| 32 20 70 6f 75 6e 64 20 | 62 6f 79 20 77 65 61 72 |2 pound |boy wear|
|000016a0| 69 6e 67 20 70 6f 75 6e | 64 20 70 75 70 70 79 20 |ing poun|d puppy |
|000016b0| 75 6e 64 65 72 77 65 61 | 72 20 61 6e 64 20 61 20 |underwea|r and a |
|000016c0| 73 75 70 65 72 6d 61 6e | 20 63 61 70 65 2e 49 74 |superman| cape.It|
|000016d0| 20 69 73 20 73 74 72 6f | 6e 67 20 65 6e 6f 75 67 | is stro|ng enoug|
|000016e0| 68 2c 20 68 6f 77 65 76 | 65 72 2c 20 74 6f 20 73 |h, howev|er, to s|
|000016f0| 70 72 65 61 64 20 70 61 | 69 6e 74 20 6f 6e 20 61 |pread pa|int on a|
|00001700| 6c 6c 20 66 6f 75 72 20 | 77 61 6c 6c 73 20 6f 66 |ll four |walls of|
|00001710| 20 61 20 32 30 20 62 79 | 20 32 30 20 66 6f 6f 74 | a 20 by| 20 foot|
|00001720| 20 72 6f 6f 6d 2e 57 68 | 65 6e 20 79 6f 75 20 68 | room.Wh|en you h|
|00001730| 65 61 72 20 74 68 65 20 | 74 6f 69 6c 65 74 20 66 |ear the |toilet f|
|00001740| 6c 75 73 68 20 61 6e 64 | 20 74 68 65 20 77 6f 72 |lush and| the wor|
|00001750| 64 73 20 27 55 68 2d 6f | 68 2c 27 20 69 74 27 73 |ds 'Uh-o|h,' it's|
|00001760| 20 61 6c 72 65 61 64 79 | 20 74 6f 6f 20 6c 61 74 | already| too lat|
|00001770| 65 2e 42 72 61 6b 65 20 | 66 6c 75 69 64 20 6d 69 |e.Brake |fluid mi|
|00001780| 78 65 64 20 77 69 74 68 | 20 43 6c 6f 72 6f 78 20 |xed with| Clorox |
|00001790| 6d 61 6b 65 73 20 73 6d | 6f 6b 65 2c 20 61 6e 64 |makes sm|oke, and|
|000017a0| 20 6c 6f 74 73 20 6f 66 | 20 69 74 2e 41 20 73 69 | lots of| it.A si|
|000017b0| 78 20 79 65 61 72 20 6f | 6c 64 20 63 61 6e 20 73 |x year o|ld can s|
|000017c0| 74 61 72 74 20 61 20 66 | 69 72 65 20 77 69 74 68 |tart a f|ire with|
|000017d0| 20 61 20 66 6c 69 6e 74 | 20 72 6f 63 6b 20 65 76 | a flint| rock ev|
|000017e0| 65 6e 20 74 68 6f 75 67 | 68 20 61 20 33 36 20 79 |en thoug|h a 36 y|
|000017f0| 65 61 72 20 6f 6c 64 20 | 6d 61 6e 20 73 61 79 73 |ear old |man says|
|00001800| 20 74 68 65 79 20 63 61 | 6e 20 6f 6e 6c 79 20 64 | they ca|n only d|
|00001810| 6f 20 69 74 20 69 6e 20 | 74 68 65 20 6d 6f 76 69 |o it in |the movi|
|00001820| 65 73 2e 49 66 20 79 6f | 75 20 75 73 65 20 61 20 |es.If yo|u use a |
|00001830| 77 61 74 65 72 62 65 64 | 20 61 73 20 68 6f 6d 65 |waterbed| as home|
|00001840| 20 70 6c 61 74 65 20 77 | 68 69 6c 65 20 77 65 61 | plate w|hile wea|
|00001850| 72 69 6e 67 20 62 61 73 | 65 62 61 6c 6c 20 73 68 |ring bas|eball sh|
|00001860| 6f 65 73 20 69 74 20 64 | 6f 65 73 20 6e 6f 74 20 |oes it d|oes not |
|00001870| 6c 65 61 6b 20 2d 20 69 | 74 20 65 78 70 6c 6f 64 |leak - i|t explod|
|00001880| 65 73 2e 41 20 6b 69 6e | 67 20 73 69 7a 65 20 77 |es.A kin|g size w|
|00001890| 61 74 65 72 62 65 64 20 | 68 6f 6c 64 73 20 65 6e |aterbed |holds en|
|000018a0| 6f 75 67 68 20 77 61 74 | 65 72 20 74 6f 20 66 69 |ough wat|er to fi|
|000018b0| 6c 6c 20 61 20 32 30 30 | 30 20 73 71 20 66 6f 6f |ll a 200|0 sq foo|
|000018c0| 74 20 68 6f 75 73 65 20 | 34 20 69 6e 63 68 65 73 |t house |4 inches|
|000018d0| 20 64 65 65 70 2e 4c 65 | 67 6f 73 20 77 69 6c 6c | deep.Le|gos will|
|000018e0| 20 70 61 73 73 20 74 68 | 72 6f 75 67 68 20 74 68 | pass th|rough th|
|000018f0| 65 20 64 69 67 65 73 74 | 69 76 65 20 74 72 61 63 |e digest|ive trac|
|00001900| 74 20 6f 66 20 61 20 66 | 6f 75 72 20 79 65 61 72 |t of a f|our year|
|00001910| 20 6f 6c 64 2e 53 75 70 | 65 72 20 67 6c 75 65 20 | old.Sup|er glue |
|00001920| 69 73 20 66 6f 72 65 76 | 65 72 2e 4d 63 47 79 76 |is forev|er.McGyv|
|00001930| 65 72 20 63 61 6e 20 74 | 65 61 63 68 20 75 73 20 |er can t|each us |
|00001940| 6d 61 6e 79 20 74 68 69 | 6e 67 73 20 77 65 20 64 |many thi|ngs we d|
|00001950| 6f 6e 27 74 20 77 61 6e | 74 20 74 6f 20 6b 6e 6f |on't wan|t to kno|
|00001960| 77 2e 4e 6f 20 6d 61 74 | 74 65 72 20 68 6f 77 20 |w.No mat|ter how |
|00001970| 6d 75 63 68 20 4a 65 6c | 6c 6f 20 79 6f 75 20 70 |much Jel|lo you p|
|00001980| 75 74 20 69 6e 20 61 20 | 73 77 69 6d 6d 69 6e 67 |ut in a |swimming|
|00001990| 20 70 6f 6f 6c 20 79 6f | 75 20 73 74 69 6c 6c 20 | pool yo|u still |
|000019a0| 63 61 6e 27 74 20 77 61 | 6c 6b 20 6f 6e 20 77 61 |can't wa|lk on wa|
|000019b0| 74 65 72 2e 50 6f 6f 6c | 20 66 69 6c 74 65 72 73 |ter.Pool| filters|
|000019c0| 20 64 6f 20 6e 6f 74 20 | 6c 69 6b 65 20 4a 65 6c | do not |like Jel|
|000019d0| 6c 6f 2e 56 43 52 27 73 | 20 64 6f 20 6e 6f 74 20 |lo.VCR's| do not |
|000019e0| 65 6a 65 63 74 20 50 42 | 26 4a 20 73 61 6e 64 77 |eject PB|&J sandw|
|000019f0| 69 63 68 65 73 20 65 76 | 65 6e 20 74 68 6f 75 67 |iches ev|en thoug|
|00001a00| 68 20 54 56 20 63 6f 6d | 6d 65 72 63 69 61 6c 73 |h TV com|mercials|
|00001a10| 20 73 68 6f 77 20 74 68 | 65 79 20 64 6f 2e 41 6c | show th|ey do.Al|
|00001a20| 77 61 79 73 20 6c 6f 6f | 6b 20 69 6e 20 74 68 65 |ways loo|k in the|
|00001a30| 20 6f 76 65 6e 20 62 65 | 66 6f 72 65 20 79 6f 75 | oven be|fore you|
|00001a40| 20 74 75 72 6e 20 69 74 | 20 6f 6e 2e 54 68 65 20 | turn it| on.The |
|00001a50| 66 69 72 65 20 64 65 70 | 61 72 74 6d 65 6e 74 20 |fire dep|artment |
|00001a60| 69 6e 20 57 65 6c 6c 69 | 6e 67 74 6f 6e 20 68 61 |in Welli|ngton ha|
|00001a70| 73 20 61 74 20 6c 65 61 | 73 74 20 61 20 35 20 6d |s at lea|st a 5 m|
|00001a80| 69 6e 75 74 65 20 72 65 | 73 70 6f 6e 73 65 20 74 |inute re|sponse t|
|00001a90| 69 6d 65 2e 54 68 65 20 | 73 70 69 6e 20 63 79 63 |ime.The |spin cyc|
|00001aa0| 6c 65 20 6f 6e 20 74 68 | 65 20 77 61 73 68 69 6e |le on th|e washin|
|00001ab0| 67 20 6d 61 63 68 69 6e | 65 20 64 6f 65 73 20 6e |g machin|e does n|
|00001ac0| 6f 74 20 6d 61 6b 65 20 | 65 61 72 74 68 20 77 6f |ot make |earth wo|
|00001ad0| 72 6d 73 20 64 69 7a 7a | 79 2e 49 74 20 77 69 6c |rms dizz|y.It wil|
|00001ae0| 6c 20 68 6f 77 65 76 65 | 72 20 6d 61 6b 65 20 63 |l howeve|r make c|
|00001af0| 61 74 73 20 64 69 7a 7a | 79 2e 43 61 74 73 20 74 |ats dizz|y.Cats t|
|00001b00| 68 72 6f 77 20 75 70 20 | 74 77 69 63 65 20 74 68 |hrow up |twice th|
|00001b10| 65 69 72 20 62 6f 64 79 | 20 77 65 69 67 68 74 20 |eir body| weight |
|00001b20| 77 68 65 6e 20 64 69 7a | 7a 79 2e 20 47 65 74 74 |when diz|zy. Gett|
|00001b30| 69 6e 67 20 6d 61 72 72 | 69 65 64 20 69 73 20 76 |ing marr|ied is v|
|00001b40| 65 72 79 20 6d 75 63 68 | 20 6c 69 6b 65 20 67 6f |ery much| like go|
|00001b50| 69 6e 67 20 74 6f 20 61 | 20 72 65 73 74 61 75 72 |ing to a| restaur|
|00001b60| 61 6e 74 20 77 69 74 68 | 20 66 72 69 65 6e 64 73 |ant with| friends|
|00001b70| 2e 59 6f 75 20 6f 72 64 | 65 72 20 77 68 61 74 20 |.You ord|er what |
|00001b80| 79 6f 75 20 77 61 6e 74 | 2c 20 74 68 65 6e 20 77 |you want|, then w|
|00001b90| 68 65 6e 20 79 6f 75 20 | 73 65 65 20 77 68 61 74 |hen you |see what|
|00001ba0| 20 74 68 65 20 6f 74 68 | 65 72 20 70 65 72 73 6f | the oth|er perso|
|00001bb0| 6e 20 68 61 73 2c 20 79 | 6f 75 20 77 69 73 68 20 |n has, y|ou wish |
|00001bc0| 79 6f 75 20 68 61 64 20 | 6f 72 64 65 72 65 64 20 |you had |ordered |
|00001bd0| 74 68 61 74 2e 20 41 74 | 20 74 68 65 20 63 6f 63 |that. At| the coc|
|00001be0| 6b 74 61 69 6c 20 70 61 | 72 74 79 2c 20 6f 6e 65 |ktail pa|rty, one|
|00001bf0| 20 77 6f 6d 61 6e 20 73 | 61 69 64 20 74 6f 20 61 | woman s|aid to a|
|00001c00| 6e 6f 74 68 65 72 2c 20 | 27 41 72 65 6e 27 74 20 |nother, |'Aren't |
|00001c10| 79 6f 75 20 77 65 61 72 | 69 6e 67 20 79 6f 75 72 |you wear|ing your|
|00001c20| 20 77 65 64 64 69 6e 67 | 20 72 69 6e 67 20 6f 6e | wedding| ring on|
|00001c30| 20 74 68 65 20 77 72 6f | 6e 67 20 66 69 6e 67 65 | the wro|ng finge|
|00001c40| 72 3f 27 20 54 68 65 20 | 6f 74 68 65 72 20 72 65 |r?' The |other re|
|00001c50| 70 6c 69 65 64 2c 20 27 | 59 65 73 2c 20 49 20 61 |plied, '|Yes, I a|
|00001c60| 6d 2c 20 49 20 6d 61 72 | 72 69 65 64 20 74 68 65 |m, I mar|ried the|
|00001c70| 20 77 72 6f 6e 67 20 6d | 61 6e 2e 27 41 66 74 65 | wrong m|an.'Afte|
|00001c80| 72 20 61 20 71 75 61 72 | 72 65 6c 2c 20 61 20 68 |r a quar|rel, a h|
|00001c90| 75 73 62 61 6e 64 20 73 | 61 69 64 20 74 6f 20 68 |usband s|aid to h|
|00001ca0| 69 73 20 77 69 66 65 2c | 20 27 59 6f 75 20 6b 6e |is wife,| 'You kn|
|00001cb0| 6f 77 2c 20 49 20 77 61 | 73 20 61 20 66 6f 6f 6c |ow, I wa|s a fool|
|00001cc0| 20 77 68 65 6e 20 49 20 | 6d 61 72 72 69 65 64 20 | when I |married |
|00001cd0| 79 6f 75 2e 27 20 53 68 | 65 20 72 65 70 6c 69 65 |you.' Sh|e replie|
|00001ce0| 64 2c 20 27 59 65 73 2c | 20 64 65 61 72 2c 20 62 |d, 'Yes,| dear, b|
|00001cf0| 75 74 20 49 20 77 61 73 | 20 69 6e 20 6c 6f 76 65 |ut I was| in love|
|00001d00| 20 61 6e 64 20 64 69 64 | 6e 27 74 20 6e 6f 74 69 | and did|n't noti|
|00001d10| 63 65 2e 27 20 57 68 79 | 20 64 69 64 20 74 68 65 |ce.' Why| did the|
|00001d20| 20 77 6f 6d 61 6e 20 63 | 72 6f 73 73 20 74 68 65 | woman c|ross the|
|00001d30| 20 72 6f 61 64 3f 20 54 | 68 61 74 27 73 20 6e 6f | road? T|hat's no|
|00001d40| 74 20 74 68 65 20 70 6f | 69 6e 74 2c 77 68 61 74 |t the po|int,what|
|00001d50| 27 73 20 73 68 65 20 64 | 6f 69 6e 67 20 6f 75 74 |'s she d|oing out|
|00001d60| 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 | 6b 69 74 63 68 65 6e 3f | of the |kitchen?|
|00001d70| 57 68 61 74 27 73 20 74 | 68 65 20 66 61 73 74 65 |What's t|he faste|
|00001d80| 73 74 20 77 61 79 20 74 | 6f 20 61 20 6d 61 6e 27 |st way t|o a man'|
|00001d90| 73 20 68 65 61 72 74 3f | 20 54 68 72 6f 75 67 68 |s heart?| Through|
|00001da0| 20 68 69 73 20 63 68 65 | 73 74 20 77 69 74 68 20 | his che|st with |
|00001db0| 61 20 73 68 61 72 70 20 | 6b 6e 69 66 65 2e 20 57 |a sharp |knife. W|
|00001dc0| 68 79 20 61 72 65 20 6d | 65 6e 20 6c 69 6b 65 20 |hy are m|en like |
|00001dd0| 62 6c 65 6e 64 65 72 73 | 3f 20 59 6f 75 20 6e 65 |blenders|? You ne|
|00001de0| 65 64 20 6f 6e 65 2c 20 | 62 75 74 20 79 6f 75 27 |ed one, |but you'|
|00001df0| 72 65 20 6e 6f 74 20 71 | 75 69 74 65 20 73 75 72 |re not q|uite sur|
|00001e00| 65 20 77 68 79 2e 20 53 | 6f 6d 65 20 6d 65 6e 20 |e why. S|ome men |
|00001e10| 69 6e 20 61 20 70 69 63 | 6b 75 70 20 74 72 75 63 |in a pic|kup truc|
|00001e20| 6b 20 64 72 6f 76 65 20 | 69 6e 74 6f 20 61 20 6c |k drove |into a l|
|00001e30| 75 6d 62 65 72 79 61 72 | 64 2e 20 4f 6e 65 20 6f |umberyar|d. One o|
|00001e40| 66 20 74 68 65 20 6d 65 | 6e 20 77 61 6c 6b 65 64 |f the me|n walked|
|00001e50| 20 69 6e 20 74 68 65 20 | 6f 66 66 69 63 65 20 61 | in the |office a|
|00001e60| 6e 64 20 73 61 69 64 2c | 20 27 57 65 20 6e 65 65 |nd said,| 'We nee|
|00001e70| 64 20 73 6f 6d 65 20 66 | 6f 75 72 2d 62 79 2d 74 |d some f|our-by-t|
|00001e80| 77 6f 73 2e 27 41 20 6d | 61 6e 20 77 61 73 20 73 |wos.'A m|an was s|
|00001e90| 69 74 74 69 6e 67 20 61 | 6c 6f 6e 65 20 69 6e 20 |itting a|lone in |
|00001ea0| 68 69 73 20 6f 66 66 69 | 63 65 20 6f 6e 65 20 6e |his offi|ce one n|
|00001eb0| 69 67 68 74 20 77 68 65 | 6e 20 61 20 67 65 6e 69 |ight whe|n a geni|
|00001ec0| 65 20 70 6f 70 70 65 64 | 20 75 70 20 6f 75 74 20 |e popped| up out |
|00001ed0| 6f 66 20 68 69 73 20 61 | 73 68 74 72 61 79 20 61 |of his a|shtray a|
|00001ee0| 6e 64 20 73 61 69 64 2c | 20 27 41 6e 64 20 77 68 |nd said,| 'And wh|
|00001ef0| 61 74 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 | 79 6f 75 72 20 74 68 69 |at will |your thi|
|00001f00| 72 64 20 77 69 73 68 20 | 62 65 3f 27 54 68 65 20 |rd wish |be?'The |
|00001f10| 6d 61 6e 20 6c 6f 6f 6b | 65 64 20 61 74 20 74 68 |man look|ed at th|
|00001f20| 65 20 67 65 6e 69 65 20 | 61 6e 64 20 73 61 69 64 |e genie |and said|
|00001f30| 2c 20 27 48 75 68 3f 20 | 48 6f 77 20 63 61 6e 20 |, 'Huh? |How can |
|00001f40| 49 20 62 65 20 67 65 74 | 74 69 6e 67 20 61 20 74 |I be get|ting a t|
|00001f50| 68 69 72 64 20 77 69 73 | 68 20 77 68 65 6e 20 49 |hird wis|h when I|
|00001f60| 20 68 61 76 65 6e 27 74 | 20 68 61 64 20 61 20 66 | haven't| had a f|
|00001f70| 69 72 73 74 20 6f 72 20 | 73 65 63 6f 6e 64 20 77 |irst or |second w|
|00001f80| 69 73 68 20 79 65 74 3f | 27 20 27 59 6f 75 20 68 |ish yet?|' 'You h|
|00001f90| 61 76 65 20 68 61 64 20 | 74 77 6f 20 77 69 73 68 |ave had |two wish|
|00001fa0| 65 73 20 61 6c 72 65 61 | 64 79 2c 27 20 74 68 65 |es alrea|dy,' the|
|00001fb0| 20 67 65 6e 69 65 20 73 | 61 69 64 2c 20 27 62 75 | genie s|aid, 'bu|
|00001fc0| 74 20 79 6f 75 72 20 73 | 65 63 6f 6e 64 20 77 69 |t your s|econd wi|
|00001fd0| 73 68 20 77 61 73 20 66 | 6f 72 20 6d 65 20 74 6f |sh was f|or me to|
|00001fe0| 20 70 75 74 20 65 76 65 | 72 79 74 68 69 6e 67 20 | put eve|rything |
|00001ff0| 62 61 63 6b 20 74 68 65 | 20 77 61 79 20 69 74 20 |back the| way it |
|00002000| 77 61 73 20 62 65 66 6f | 72 65 20 79 6f 75 20 6d |was befo|re you m|
|00002010| 61 64 65 20 79 6f 75 72 | 20 66 69 72 73 74 20 77 |ade your| first w|
|00002020| 69 73 68 2e 20 54 68 75 | 73 2c 20 79 6f 75 20 72 |ish. Thu|s, you r|
|00002030| 65 6d 65 6d 62 65 72 20 | 6e 6f 74 68 69 6e 67 2c |emember |nothing,|
|00002040| 20 62 65 63 61 75 73 65 | 20 65 76 65 72 79 74 68 | because| everyth|
|00002050| 69 6e 67 20 69 73 20 74 | 68 65 20 77 61 79 20 69 |ing is t|he way i|
|00002060| 74 20 77 61 73 20 62 65 | 66 6f 72 65 20 79 6f 75 |t was be|fore you|
|00002070| 20 6d 61 64 65 20 61 6e | 79 20 77 69 73 68 65 73 | made an|y wishes|
|00002080| 2e 20 59 6f 75 20 68 61 | 76 65 20 6f 6e 65 20 77 |. You ha|ve one w|
|00002090| 69 73 68 20 6c 65 66 74 | 2e 27 20 27 4f 6b 61 79 |ish left|.' 'Okay|
|000020a0| 2c 27 20 73 61 69 64 20 | 74 68 65 20 6d 61 6e 2c |,' said |the man,|
|000020b0| 20 27 49 20 64 6f 6e 27 | 74 20 62 65 6c 69 65 76 | 'I don'|t believ|
|000020c0| 65 20 74 68 69 73 2c 20 | 62 75 74 20 77 68 61 74 |e this, |but what|
|000020d0| 20 74 68 65 20 68 65 63 | 6b 2e 20 49 20 77 69 73 | the hec|k. I wis|
|000020e0| 68 20 49 20 77 65 72 65 | 20 69 72 72 65 73 69 73 |h I were| irresis|
|000020f0| 74 69 62 6c 65 20 74 6f | 20 77 6f 6d 65 6e 2e 27 |tible to| women.'|
|00002100| 20 27 46 75 6e 6e 79 2c | 27 20 73 61 69 64 20 74 | 'Funny,|' said t|
|00002110| 68 65 20 67 65 6e 69 65 | 20 61 73 20 69 74 20 67 |he genie| as it g|
|00002120| 72 61 6e 74 65 64 20 68 | 69 73 20 77 69 73 68 20 |ranted h|is wish |
|00002130| 61 6e 64 20 64 69 73 61 | 70 70 65 61 72 65 64 20 |and disa|ppeared |
|00002140| 66 6f 72 65 76 65 72 2e | 20 27 54 68 61 74 20 77 |forever.| 'That w|
|00002150| 61 73 20 79 6f 75 72 20 | 66 69 72 73 74 20 77 69 |as your |first wi|
|00002160| 73 68 2c 20 74 6f 6f 2e | 27 20 54 68 65 20 62 61 |sh, too.|' The ba|
|00002170| 72 74 65 6e 64 65 72 20 | 61 73 6b 73 20 74 68 65 |rtender |asks the|
|00002180| 20 67 75 79 20 73 69 74 | 74 69 6e 67 20 61 74 20 | guy sit|ting at |
|00002190| 74 68 65 20 62 61 72 2c | 20 27 57 68 61 74 27 6c |the bar,| 'What'l|
|000021a0| 6c 20 79 6f 75 20 68 61 | 76 65 3f 27 20 54 68 65 |l you ha|ve?' The|
|000021b0| 20 67 75 79 20 61 6e 73 | 77 65 72 73 2c 20 27 41 | guy ans|wers, 'A|
|000021c0| 20 73 63 6f 74 63 68 2c | 20 70 6c 65 61 73 65 2e | scotch,| please.|
|000021d0| 27 20 54 68 65 20 62 61 | 72 74 65 6e 64 65 72 20 |' The ba|rtender |
|000021e0| 68 61 6e 64 73 20 68 69 | 6d 20 74 68 65 20 64 72 |hands hi|m the dr|
|000021f0| 69 6e 6b 2c 20 61 6e 64 | 20 73 61 79 73 20 27 54 |ink, and| says 'T|
|00002200| 68 61 74 27 6c 6c 20 62 | 65 20 66 69 76 65 20 64 |hat'll b|e five d|
|00002210| 6f 6c 6c 61 72 73 2c 27 | 20 74 6f 20 77 68 69 63 |ollars,'| to whic|
|00002220| 68 20 74 68 65 20 67 75 | 79 20 72 65 70 6c 69 65 |h the gu|y replie|
|00002230| 73 2c 20 27 57 68 61 74 | 20 61 72 65 20 79 6f 75 |s, 'What| are you|
|00002240| 20 74 61 6c 6b 69 6e 67 | 20 61 62 6f 75 74 3f 20 | talking| about? |
|00002250| 49 20 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 | 6f 77 65 20 79 6f 75 20 |I don't |owe you |
|00002260| 61 6e 79 74 68 69 6e 67 | 20 66 6f 72 20 74 68 69 |anything| for thi|
|00002270| 73 2e 27 41 20 6c 61 77 | 79 65 72 2c 20 73 69 74 |s.'A law|yer, sit|
|00002280| 74 69 6e 67 20 6e 65 61 | 72 62 79 20 61 6e 64 20 |ting nea|rby and |
|00002290| 6f 76 65 72 68 65 61 72 | 69 6e 67 20 74 68 65 20 |overhear|ing the |
|000022a0| 63 6f 6e 76 65 72 73 61 | 74 69 6f 6e 2c 20 74 68 |conversa|tion, th|
|000022b0| 65 6e 20 73 61 79 73 20 | 74 6f 20 74 68 65 20 62 |en says |to the b|
|000022c0| 61 72 74 65 6e 64 65 72 | 2c 20 27 59 6f 75 20 6b |artender|, 'You k|
|000022d0| 6e 6f 77 2c 20 68 65 27 | 73 20 67 6f 74 20 79 6f |now, he'|s got yo|
|000022e0| 75 20 74 68 65 72 65 2e | 20 49 6e 20 74 68 65 20 |u there.| In the |
|000022f0| 6f 72 69 67 69 6e 61 6c | 20 6f 66 66 65 72 2c 20 |original| offer, |
|00002300| 77 68 69 63 68 20 63 6f | 6e 73 74 69 74 75 74 65 |which co|nstitute|
|00002310| 73 20 61 20 62 69 6e 64 | 69 6e 67 20 63 6f 6e 74 |s a bind|ing cont|
|00002320| 72 61 63 74 20 75 70 6f | 6e 20 61 63 63 65 70 74 |ract upo|n accept|
|00002330| 61 6e 63 65 2c 20 74 68 | 65 72 65 20 77 61 73 20 |ance, th|ere was |
|00002340| 6e 6f 20 73 74 69 70 75 | 6c 61 74 69 6f 6e 20 6f |no stipu|lation o|
|00002350| 66 20 72 65 6d 75 6e 65 | 72 61 74 69 6f 6e 2e 27 |f remune|ration.'|
|00002360| 20 54 68 65 20 62 61 72 | 74 65 6e 64 65 72 20 77 | The bar|tender w|
|00002370| 61 73 20 6e 6f 74 20 69 | 6d 70 72 65 73 73 65 64 |as not i|mpressed|
|00002380| 2c 20 62 75 74 20 73 61 | 79 73 20 74 6f 20 74 68 |, but sa|ys to th|
|00002390| 65 20 67 75 79 2c 20 27 | 4f 6b 61 79 2c 20 79 6f |e guy, '|Okay, yo|
|000023a0| 75 20 62 65 61 74 20 6d | 65 20 66 6f 72 20 61 20 |u beat m|e for a |
|000023b0| 64 72 69 6e 6b 2e 20 42 | 75 74 20 64 6f 6e 27 74 |drink. B|ut don't|
|000023c0| 20 65 76 65 72 20 6c 65 | 74 20 6d 65 20 63 61 74 | ever le|t me cat|
|000023d0| 63 68 20 79 6f 75 20 69 | 6e 20 68 65 72 65 20 61 |ch you i|n here a|
|000023e0| 67 61 69 6e 2e 27 20 54 | 68 65 20 6e 65 78 74 20 |gain.' T|he next |
|000023f0| 64 61 79 2c 20 73 61 6d | 65 20 67 75 79 20 77 61 |day, sam|e guy wa|
|00002400| 6c 6b 73 20 69 6e 74 6f | 20 74 68 65 20 62 61 72 |lks into| the bar|
|00002410| 2e 20 42 61 72 74 65 6e | 64 65 72 20 73 61 79 73 |. Barten|der says|
|00002420| 2c 20 27 57 68 61 74 20 | 74 68 65 20 68 65 63 6b |, 'What |the heck|
|00002430| 20 61 72 65 20 79 6f 75 | 20 64 6f 69 6e 67 20 69 | are you| doing i|
|00002440| 6e 20 68 65 72 65 3f 20 | 49 20 63 61 6e 27 74 20 |n here? |I can't |
|00002450| 62 65 6c 69 65 76 65 20 | 79 6f 75 27 76 65 20 67 |believe |you've g|
|00002460| 6f 74 20 74 68 65 20 61 | 75 64 61 63 69 74 79 20 |ot the a|udacity |
|00002470| 74 6f 20 63 6f 6d 65 20 | 62 61 63 6b 21 27 20 54 |to come |back!' T|
|00002480| 68 65 20 67 75 79 20 73 | 61 79 73 2c 20 27 57 68 |he guy s|ays, 'Wh|
|00002490| 61 74 20 61 72 65 20 79 | 6f 75 20 74 61 6c 6b 69 |at are y|ou talki|
|000024a0| 6e 67 20 61 62 6f 75 74 | 3f 20 49 27 76 65 20 6e |ng about|? I've n|
|000024b0| 65 76 65 72 20 62 65 65 | 6e 20 69 6e 20 74 68 69 |ever bee|n in thi|
|000024c0| 73 20 70 6c 61 63 65 20 | 69 6e 20 6d 79 20 6c 69 |s place |in my li|
|000024d0| 66 65 21 27 20 54 68 65 | 20 62 61 72 74 65 6e 64 |fe!' The| bartend|
|000024e0| 65 72 20 72 65 70 6c 69 | 65 73 2c 20 27 49 27 6d |er repli|es, 'I'm|
|000024f0| 20 76 65 72 79 20 73 6f | 72 72 79 2c 20 62 75 74 | very so|rry, but|
|00002500| 20 74 68 69 73 20 69 73 | 20 75 6e 63 61 6e 6e 79 | this is| uncanny|
|00002510| 2e 20 59 6f 75 20 6d 75 | 73 74 20 68 61 76 65 20 |. You mu|st have |
|00002520| 61 20 64 6f 75 62 6c 65 | 2e 27 20 54 6f 20 77 68 |a double|.' To wh|
|00002530| 69 63 68 20 74 68 65 20 | 67 75 79 20 72 65 70 6c |ich the |guy repl|
|00002540| 69 65 73 2c 20 27 54 68 | 61 6e 6b 20 79 6f 75 2e |ies, 'Th|ank you.|
|00002550| 20 4d 61 6b 65 20 69 74 | 20 61 20 73 63 6f 74 63 | Make it| a scotc|
|00002560| 68 2e 27 20 41 20 67 75 | 79 20 77 61 6c 6b 73 20 |h.' A gu|y walks |
|00002570| 69 6e 74 6f 20 61 20 62 | 61 72 20 2e 2e 2e 20 6f |into a b|ar ... o|
|00002580| 6e 63 65 20 69 6e 73 69 | 64 65 2c 20 68 65 20 72 |nce insi|de, he r|
|00002590| 65 61 6c 69 7a 65 73 20 | 69 74 27 73 20 61 20 67 |ealizes |it's a g|
|000025a0| 61 79 20 62 61 72 2c 20 | 62 75 74 20 68 65 20 64 |ay bar, |but he d|
|000025b0| 65 63 69 64 65 73 2c 20 | 27 57 68 61 74 20 74 68 |ecides, |'What th|
|000025c0| 65 20 68 65 63 6b 2c 20 | 49 20 72 65 61 6c 6c 79 |e heck, |I really|
|000025d0| 20 77 61 6e 74 20 61 20 | 64 72 69 6e 6b 2e 27 20 | want a |drink.' |
|000025e0| 53 6f 20 68 65 20 73 69 | 74 73 20 64 6f 77 6e 20 |So he si|ts down |
|000025f0| 61 74 20 74 68 65 20 62 | 61 72 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 |at the b|ar, and |
|00002600| 74 68 65 20 67 61 79 20 | 62 61 72 74 65 6e 64 65 |the gay |bartende|
|00002610| 72 20 73 61 79 73 20 74 | 6f 20 68 69 6d 2c 20 27 |r says t|o him, '|
|00002620| 57 68 61 74 27 73 20 74 | 68 65 20 6e 61 6d 65 20 |What's t|he name |
|00002630| 6f 66 20 79 6f 75 72 20 | 70 65 6e 69 73 3f 27 20 |of your |penis?' |
|00002640| 54 68 65 20 67 75 79 20 | 73 61 79 73 2c 20 27 4c |The guy |says, 'L|
|00002650| 6f 6f 6b 2c 20 49 27 6d | 20 6e 6f 74 20 69 6e 74 |ook, I'm| not int|
|00002660| 6f 20 61 6e 79 20 6f 66 | 20 74 68 61 74 2e 20 41 |o any of| that. A|
|00002670| 6c 6c 20 49 20 77 61 6e | 74 20 69 73 20 61 20 64 |ll I wan|t is a d|
|00002680| 72 69 6e 6b 2e 27 20 54 | 68 65 20 67 61 79 20 62 |rink.' T|he gay b|
|00002690| 61 72 74 65 6e 64 65 72 | 20 73 61 79 73 2c 20 27 |artender| says, '|
|000026a0| 49 27 6d 20 73 6f 72 72 | 79 2c 20 62 75 74 20 49 |I'm sorr|y, but I|
|000026b0| 20 63 61 6e 27 74 20 73 | 65 72 76 65 20 79 6f 75 | can't s|erve you|
|000026c0| 20 75 6e 74 69 6c 20 79 | 6f 75 20 74 65 6c 6c 20 | until y|ou tell |
|000026d0| 6d 65 20 74 68 65 20 6e | 61 6d 65 20 6f 66 20 79 |me the n|ame of y|
|000026e0| 6f 75 72 20 70 65 6e 69 | 73 2e 27 20 53 6f 20 74 |our peni|s.' So t|
|000026f0| 68 65 20 67 75 79 20 6c | 6f 6f 6b 73 20 61 74 20 |he guy l|ooks at |
|00002700| 74 68 65 20 6d 61 6e 20 | 73 69 74 74 69 6e 67 20 |the man |sitting |
|00002710| 74 6f 20 68 69 73 20 6c | 65 66 74 20 77 68 6f 20 |to his l|eft who |
|00002720| 69 73 20 73 69 70 70 69 | 6e 67 20 6f 6e 20 61 20 |is sippi|ng on a |
|00002730| 62 65 65 72 20 61 6e 64 | 20 61 73 6b 73 2c 20 27 |beer and| asks, '|
|00002740| 48 65 79 20 62 75 64 2c | 20 77 68 61 74 27 73 20 |Hey bud,| what's |
|00002750| 74 68 65 20 6e 61 6d 65 | 20 6f 66 20 79 6f 75 72 |the name| of your|
|00002760| 20 70 65 6e 69 73 3f 27 | 20 54 68 65 20 6d 61 6e | penis?'| The man|
|00002770| 20 74 6f 20 6c 65 66 74 | 2c 20 77 69 74 68 20 61 | to left|, with a|
|00002780| 20 73 6d 69 6c 65 2c 20 | 6c 6f 6f 6b 73 20 62 61 | smile, |looks ba|
|00002790| 63 6b 20 61 6e 64 20 73 | 61 79 73 2c 20 27 54 49 |ck and s|ays, 'TI|
|000027a0| 4d 45 58 2e 27 20 54 68 | 65 20 67 75 79 20 61 73 |MEX.' Th|e guy as|
|000027b0| 6b 73 2c 20 27 57 68 79 | 20 54 69 6d 65 78 3f 27 |ks, 'Why| Timex?'|
|000027c0| 20 54 68 65 20 66 65 6c | 6c 61 20 70 72 6f 75 64 | The fel|la proud|
|000027d0| 6c 79 20 72 65 70 6c 69 | 65 73 2c 20 27 43 61 75 |ly repli|es, 'Cau|
|000027e0| 73 65 20 69 74 20 74 61 | 6b 65 73 20 61 20 6c 69 |se it ta|kes a li|
|000027f0| 63 6b 69 6e 27 20 61 6e | 64 20 6b 65 65 70 73 20 |ckin' an|d keeps |
|00002800| 6f 6e 20 74 69 63 6b 69 | 6e 27 21 27 20 41 20 6c |on ticki|n'!' A l|
|00002810| 69 74 74 6c 65 20 73 68 | 61 6b 65 6e 2c 20 74 68 |ittle sh|aken, th|
|00002820| 65 20 67 75 79 20 74 75 | 72 6e 73 20 74 6f 20 74 |e guy tu|rns to t|
|00002830| 68 65 20 66 65 6c 6c 61 | 20 6f 6e 20 68 69 73 20 |he fella| on his |
|00002840| 72 69 67 68 74 20 73 69 | 70 70 69 6e 67 20 6f 6e |right si|pping on|
|00002850| 20 61 20 66 72 75 69 74 | 79 20 6d 61 72 67 61 72 | a fruit|y margar|
|00002860| 69 74 61 2c 20 27 53 6f | 2c 20 77 68 61 74 20 64 |ita, 'So|, what d|
|00002870| 6f 20 79 6f 75 20 63 61 | 6c 6c 20 79 6f 75 72 20 |o you ca|ll your |
|00002880| 70 65 6e 69 73 3f 27 20 | 54 68 65 20 6d 61 6e 20 |penis?' |The man |
|00002890| 74 6f 20 68 69 73 20 72 | 69 67 68 74 20 74 75 72 |to his r|ight tur|
|000028a0| 6e 73 20 74 6f 20 68 69 | 6d 20 61 6e 64 20 70 72 |ns to hi|m and pr|
|000028b0| 6f 75 64 6c 79 20 65 78 | 63 6c 61 69 6d 73 2c 20 |oudly ex|claims, |
|000028c0| 27 46 4f 52 44 2c 20 62 | 65 63 61 75 73 65 20 71 |'FORD, b|ecause q|
|000028d0| 75 61 6c 69 74 79 20 69 | 73 20 4a 6f 62 20 31 27 |uality i|s Job 1'|
|000028e0| 2c 20 68 65 20 74 68 65 | 6e 20 61 64 73 2c 20 27 |, he the|n ads, '|
|000028f0| 48 61 76 65 20 79 6f 75 | 20 64 72 69 76 65 6e 20 |Have you| driven |
|00002900| 61 20 46 6f 72 64 20 6c | 61 74 65 6c 79 3f 27 20 |a Ford l|ately?' |
|00002910| 45 76 65 6e 20 6d 6f 72 | 65 20 73 68 61 6b 65 6e |Even mor|e shaken|
|00002920| 2c 20 74 68 65 20 67 75 | 79 20 68 61 73 20 74 6f |, the gu|y has to|
|00002930| 20 74 68 69 6e 6b 20 66 | 6f 72 20 61 20 6d 6f 6d | think f|or a mom|
|00002940| 65 6e 74 20 62 65 66 6f | 72 65 20 68 65 20 63 6f |ent befo|re he co|
|00002950| 6d 65 73 20 75 70 20 77 | 69 74 68 20 61 20 6e 61 |mes up w|ith a na|
|00002960| 6d 65 20 66 6f 72 20 68 | 69 73 20 70 65 6e 69 73 |me for h|is penis|
|00002970| 2e 20 48 65 20 74 75 72 | 6e 73 20 74 6f 20 74 68 |. He tur|ns to th|
|00002980| 65 20 62 61 72 74 65 6e | 64 65 72 20 61 6e 64 20 |e barten|der and |
|00002990| 65 78 63 6c 61 69 6d 73 | 2c 20 27 54 68 65 20 6e |exclaims|, 'The n|
|000029a0| 61 6d 65 20 6f 66 20 6d | 79 20 70 65 6e 69 73 20 |ame of m|y penis |
|000029b0| 69 73 20 53 45 43 52 45 | 54 2e 20 4e 6f 77 20 67 |is SECRE|T. Now g|
|000029c0| 69 76 65 20 6d 65 20 6d | 79 20 62 65 65 72 2e 27 |ive me m|y beer.'|
|000029d0| 20 54 68 65 20 62 61 72 | 74 65 6e 64 65 72 20 62 | The bar|tender b|
|000029e0| 65 67 69 6e 73 20 74 6f | 20 70 6f 75 72 20 74 68 |egins to| pour th|
|000029f0| 65 20 67 75 79 20 61 20 | 62 65 65 72 2c 20 62 75 |e guy a |beer, bu|
|00002a00| 74 20 77 69 74 68 20 61 | 20 70 75 7a 7a 6c 65 64 |t with a| puzzled|
|00002a10| 20 6c 6f 6f 6b 20 61 73 | 6b 73 2c 20 27 57 68 79 | look as|ks, 'Why|
|00002a20| 20 73 65 63 72 65 74 3f | 27 20 54 68 65 20 67 75 | secret?|' The gu|
|00002a30| 79 20 73 61 79 73 2c 20 | 27 62 65 63 61 75 73 65 |y says, |'because|
|00002a40| 20 69 74 27 73 20 73 74 | 72 6f 6e 67 20 65 6e 6f | it's st|rong eno|
|00002a50| 75 67 68 20 66 6f 72 20 | 61 20 6d 61 6e 20 62 75 |ugh for |a man bu|
|00002a60| 74 20 6d 61 64 65 20 66 | 6f 72 20 61 20 77 6f 6d |t made f|or a wom|
|00002a70| 61 6e 21 27 20 52 6f 64 | 6e 65 79 20 77 61 6c 6b |an!' Rod|ney walk|
|00002a80| 73 20 69 6e 74 6f 20 61 | 20 62 61 72 20 61 6e 64 |s into a| bar and|
|00002a90| 20 73 61 79 73 2c 20 27 | 42 61 72 74 65 6e 64 65 | says, '|Bartende|
|00002aa0| 72 2c 20 67 69 76 65 20 | 6d 65 20 74 77 6f 20 73 |r, give |me two s|
|00002ab0| 68 6f 74 73 2e 20 4f 6e | 65 20 66 6f 72 20 6d 65 |hots. On|e for me|
|00002ac0| 20 61 6e 64 20 6f 6e 65 | 20 66 6f 72 20 6d 79 20 | and one| for my |
|00002ad0| 62 65 73 74 20 62 75 64 | 64 79 20 68 65 72 65 2e |best bud|dy here.|
|00002ae0| 27 54 68 65 20 62 61 72 | 74 65 6e 64 65 72 20 73 |'The bar|tender s|
|00002af0| 61 79 73 2c 20 27 59 6f | 75 20 77 61 6e 74 20 62 |ays, 'Yo|u want b|
|00002b00| 6f 74 68 20 64 72 69 6e | 6b 73 20 6e 6f 77 20 6f |oth drin|ks now o|
|00002b10| 72 20 64 6f 20 79 6f 75 | 20 77 61 6e 74 20 6d 65 |r do you| want me|
|00002b20| 20 74 6f 20 77 61 69 74 | 20 75 6e 74 69 6c 20 79 | to wait| until y|
|00002b30| 6f 75 72 20 62 75 64 64 | 79 20 61 72 72 69 76 65 |our budd|y arrive|
|00002b40| 73 20 74 6f 20 70 6f 75 | 72 20 68 69 73 3f 27 52 |s to pou|r his?'R|
|00002b50| 6f 64 6e 65 79 20 73 61 | 79 73 2c 20 27 4f 68 2c |odney sa|ys, 'Oh,|
|00002b60| 20 49 20 77 61 6e 74 20 | 74 68 65 6d 20 62 6f 74 | I want |them bot|
|00002b70| 68 20 6e 6f 77 2e 20 49 | 27 76 65 20 67 6f 74 20 |h now. I|'ve got |
|00002b80| 6d 79 20 62 65 73 74 20 | 62 75 64 64 79 20 69 6e |my best |buddy in|
|00002b90| 20 6d 79 20 70 6f 63 6b | 65 74 20 68 65 72 65 2e | my pock|et here.|
|00002ba0| 27 20 57 69 74 68 20 74 | 68 61 74 20 68 65 20 70 |' With t|hat he p|
|00002bb0| 75 6c 6c 73 20 6f 75 74 | 20 61 20 6c 69 74 74 6c |ulls out| a littl|
|00002bc0| 65 20 33 20 69 6e 63 68 | 20 6d 61 6e 20 66 72 6f |e 3 inch| man fro|
|00002bd0| 6d 20 68 69 73 70 6f 63 | 6b 65 74 2e 54 68 65 20 |m hispoc|ket.The |
|00002be0| 62 61 72 74 65 6e 64 65 | 72 20 73 61 79 73 2c 20 |bartende|r says, |
|00002bf0| 27 57 6f 77 21 20 41 6e | 64 20 79 6f 75 20 6d 65 |'Wow! An|d you me|
|00002c00| 61 6e 20 74 6f 20 73 61 | 79 20 68 65 20 63 61 6e |an to sa|y he can|
|00002c10| 20 64 72 69 6e 6b 20 74 | 68 61 74 20 6d 75 63 68 | drink t|hat much|
|00002c20| 3f 27 20 27 4f 68 2c 20 | 73 75 72 65 2e 20 48 65 |?' 'Oh, |sure. He|
|00002c30| 20 63 61 6e 20 64 72 69 | 6e 6b 20 69 74 20 61 6c | can dri|nk it al|
|00002c40| 6c 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 74 | 68 65 6e 20 73 6f 6d 65 |l, and t|hen some|
|00002c50| 2c 27 20 74 68 65 20 6d | 61 6e 20 72 65 74 6f 72 |,' the m|an retor|
|00002c60| 74 65 64 2e 20 53 6f 20 | 74 68 65 20 62 61 72 74 |ted. So |the bart|
|00002c70| 65 6e 64 65 72 20 70 6f | 75 72 65 64 20 74 68 65 |ender po|ured the|
|00002c80| 20 74 77 6f 20 73 68 6f | 74 73 2e 20 53 75 72 65 | two sho|ts. Sure|
|00002c90| 20 65 6e 6f 75 67 68 2c | 20 74 68 65 20 6c 69 74 | enough,| the lit|
|00002ca0| 74 6c 65 20 67 75 79 20 | 64 72 69 6e 6b 73 20 69 |tle guy |drinks i|
|00002cb0| 74 20 61 6c 6c 20 75 70 | 2e 27 54 68 61 74 27 73 |t all up|.'That's|
|00002cc0| 20 61 6d 61 7a 69 6e 67 | 2c 27 20 73 61 79 73 20 | amazing|,' says |
|00002cd0| 74 68 65 20 62 61 72 74 | 65 6e 64 65 72 2e 20 27 |the bart|ender. '|
|00002ce0| 57 68 61 74 20 65 6c 73 | 65 20 63 61 6e 20 68 65 |What els|e can he|
|00002cf0| 20 64 6f 3f 20 43 61 6e | 20 68 65 20 77 61 6c 6b | do? Can| he walk|
|00002d00| 3f 27 20 52 6f 64 6e 65 | 79 20 66 6c 69 63 6b 73 |?' Rodne|y flicks|
|00002d10| 20 61 20 71 75 61 72 74 | 65 72 20 64 6f 77 6e 20 | a quart|er down |
|00002d20| 74 6f 20 74 68 65 20 65 | 6e 64 20 6f 66 20 74 68 |to the e|nd of th|
|00002d30| 65 20 62 61 72 20 61 6e | 64 20 73 61 79 73 2c 20 |e bar an|d says, |
|00002d40| 27 48 65 79 2c 20 41 6c | 2c 67 6f 20 66 65 74 63 |'Hey, Al|,go fetc|
|00002d50| 68 20 74 68 61 74 20 71 | 75 61 72 74 65 72 2e 27 |h that q|uarter.'|
|00002d60| 20 54 68 65 20 6c 69 74 | 74 6c 65 20 67 75 79 20 | The lit|tle guy |
|00002d70| 72 75 6e 73 20 64 6f 77 | 6e 20 74 6f 20 74 68 65 |runs dow|n to the|
|00002d80| 20 65 6e 64 20 6f 66 20 | 74 68 65 20 62 61 72 2c | end of |the bar,|
|00002d90| 20 70 69 63 6b 73 20 75 | 70 20 74 68 65 20 71 75 | picks u|p the qu|
|00002da0| 61 72 74 65 72 2c 20 61 | 6e 64 20 72 75 6e 73 20 |arter, a|nd runs |
|00002db0| 62 61 63 6b 20 64 6f 77 | 6e 20 61 6e 64 20 67 69 |back dow|n and gi|
|00002dc0| 76 65 73 20 69 74 20 74 | 6f 20 52 6f 64 6e 65 79 |ves it t|o Rodney|
|00002dd0| 2e 54 68 65 20 62 61 72 | 74 65 6e 64 65 72 20 69 |.The bar|tender i|
|00002de0| 73 20 74 6f 74 61 6c 6c | 79 20 61 6d 61 7a 65 64 |s totall|y amazed|
|00002df0| 20 62 79 20 74 68 69 73 | 20 64 69 73 70 6c 61 79 | by this| display|
|00002e00| 2e 20 27 54 68 61 74 27 | 73 20 61 6d 61 7a 69 6e |. 'That'|s amazin|
|00002e10| 67 2c 27 20 68 65 20 73 | 61 79 73 2c 20 27 77 68 |g,' he s|ays, 'wh|
|00002e20| 61 74 20 65 6c 73 65 20 | 63 61 6e 20 68 65 20 64 |at else |can he d|
|00002e30| 6f 3f 20 44 6f 65 73 20 | 68 65 20 74 61 6c 6b 3f |o? Does |he talk?|
|00002e40| 27 52 6f 64 6e 65 79 20 | 6c 6f 6f 6b 73 20 75 70 |'Rodney |looks up|
|00002e50| 20 61 74 20 74 68 65 20 | 62 61 72 74 65 6e 64 65 | at the |bartende|
|00002e60| 72 20 77 69 74 68 20 61 | 20 6c 6f 6f 6b 20 6f 66 |r with a| look of|
|00002e70| 20 73 75 72 70 72 69 73 | 65 20 69 6e 20 68 69 73 | surpris|e in his|
|00002e80| 20 65 79 65 20 61 6e 64 | 20 73 71 75 61 77 6b 73 | eye and| squawks|
|00002e90| 2c 20 27 54 61 6c 6b 3f | 20 53 75 72 65 20 68 65 |, 'Talk?| Sure he|
|00002ea0| 20 74 61 6c 6b 73 2e 20 | 48 65 79 20 41 6c 2c 20 | talks. |Hey Al, |
|00002eb0| 74 65 6c 6c 20 68 69 6d | 20 61 62 6f 75 74 20 74 |tell him| about t|
|00002ec0| 68 61 74 20 74 69 6d 65 | 20 77 65 20 77 65 72 65 |hat time| we were|
|00002ed0| 20 69 6e 20 64 6f 77 6e | 20 69 6e 20 41 66 72 69 | in down| in Afri|
|00002ee0| 63 61 20 6f 6e 20 73 61 | 66 61 72 69 20 61 6e 64 |ca on sa|fari and|
|00002ef0| 20 79 6f 75 20 69 6e 73 | 75 6c 74 65 64 20 74 68 | you ins|ulted th|
|00002f00| 61 74 20 77 69 74 63 68 | 20 64 6f 63 74 6f 72 21 |at witch| doctor!|
|00002f10| 27 54 68 65 72 65 27 73 | 20 73 6f 20 6d 75 63 68 |'There's| so much|
|00002f20| 20 63 6f 6d 65 64 79 20 | 6f 6e 20 74 65 6c 65 76 | comedy |on telev|
|00002f30| 69 73 69 6f 6e 2e 20 44 | 6f 65 73 20 74 68 61 74 |ision. D|oes that|
|00002f40| 20 63 61 75 73 65 20 63 | 6f 6d 65 64 79 20 69 6e | cause c|omedy in|
|00002f50| 20 74 68 65 20 73 74 72 | 65 65 74 73 3f 54 68 65 | the str|eets?The|
|00002f60| 20 64 6f 67 27 73 20 6c | 69 66 65 20 69 73 20 61 | dog's l|ife is a|
|00002f70| 20 67 6f 6f 64 20 6c 69 | 66 65 2c 20 66 6f 72 20 | good li|fe, for |
|00002f80| 61 20 64 6f 67 2e 54 68 | 6f 73 65 20 61 72 74 20 |a dog.Th|ose art |
|00002f90| 6c 6f 76 65 72 73 20 77 | 68 6f 20 70 72 69 64 65 |lovers w|ho pride|
|00002fa0| 20 74 68 65 6d 73 65 6c | 76 65 73 20 6d 6f 73 74 | themsel|ves most|
|00002fb0| 6c 79 20 6f 6e 20 74 61 | 73 74 65 20 75 73 75 61 |ly on ta|ste usua|
|00002fc0| 6c 6c 79 20 70 6f 73 73 | 65 73 73 20 6e 6f 20 6f |lly poss|ess no o|
|00002fd0| 74 68 65 72 20 74 61 6c | 65 6e 74 2e 54 6f 20 74 |ther tal|ent.To t|
|00002fe0| 68 65 20 69 6e 74 65 6c | 6c 69 67 65 6e 74 20 6d |he intel|ligent m|
|00002ff0| 61 6e 20 6f 72 20 77 6f | 6d 61 6e 2c 20 6c 69 66 |an or wo|man, lif|
|00003000| 65 20 61 70 70 65 61 72 | 73 20 69 6e 66 69 6e 69 |e appear|s infini|
|00003010| 74 65 6c 79 20 6d 79 73 | 74 65 72 69 6f 75 73 2e |tely mys|terious.|
|00003020| 20 42 75 74 20 74 68 65 | 20 73 74 75 70 69 64 20 | But the| stupid |
|00003030| 68 61 76 65 20 61 6e 20 | 61 6e 73 77 65 72 20 66 |have an |answer f|
|00003040| 6f 72 20 65 76 65 72 79 | 20 71 75 65 73 74 69 6f |or every| questio|
|00003050| 6e 2e 57 68 65 6e 20 49 | 20 68 65 61 72 20 74 68 |n.When I| hear th|
|00003060| 65 20 77 6f 72 64 20 27 | 63 75 6c 74 75 72 65 27 |e word '|culture'|
|00003070| 2c 20 49 20 72 65 61 63 | 68 20 66 6f 72 20 6d 79 |, I reac|h for my|
|00003080| 20 63 68 65 63 6b 62 6f | 6f 6b 2e 49 20 77 6f 75 | checkbo|ok.I wou|
|00003090| 6c 64 6e 27 74 20 74 72 | 61 64 65 20 61 20 67 6f |ldn't tr|ade a go|
|000030a0| 6f 64 20 68 6f 72 73 65 | 20 66 6f 72 20 74 68 65 |od horse| for the|
|000030b0| 20 62 65 73 74 20 52 6f | 6c 6c 73 2d 52 6f 79 63 | best Ro|lls-Royc|
|000030c0| 65 20 65 76 65 72 20 6d | 61 64 65 20 2d 20 75 6e |e ever m|ade - un|
|000030d0| 6c 65 73 73 20 49 20 63 | 6f 75 6c 64 20 74 72 61 |less I c|ould tra|
|000030e0| 64 65 20 74 68 65 20 52 | 6f 6c 6c 73 20 66 6f 72 |de the R|olls for|
|000030f0| 20 74 77 6f 20 67 6f 6f | 64 20 68 6f 72 73 65 73 | two goo|d horses|
|00003100| 2e 49 66 20 79 6f 75 20 | 68 6f 6f 6b 20 61 20 64 |.If you |hook a d|
|00003110| 6f 67 20 6c 65 61 73 68 | 20 6f 76 65 72 20 61 20 |og leash| over a |
|00003120| 63 65 69 6c 69 6e 67 20 | 66 61 6e 2c 20 74 68 65 |ceiling |fan, the|
|00003130| 20 6d 6f 74 6f 72 20 69 | 73 20 6e 6f 74 20 73 74 | motor i|s not st|
|00003140| 72 6f 6e 67 20 65 6e 6f | 75 67 68 20 74 6f 20 72 |rong eno|ugh to r|
|00003150| 6f 74 61 74 65 20 61 20 | 34 32 20 70 6f 75 6e 64 |otate a |42 pound|
|00003160| 20 62 6f 79 20 77 65 61 | 72 69 6e 67 20 70 6f 75 | boy wea|ring pou|
|00003170| 6e 64 20 70 75 70 70 79 | 20 75 6e 64 65 72 77 65 |nd puppy| underwe|
|00003180| 61 72 20 61 6e 64 20 61 | 20 73 75 70 65 72 6d 61 |ar and a| superma|
|00003190| 6e 20 63 61 70 65 2e 49 | 74 20 69 73 20 73 74 72 |n cape.I|t is str|
|000031a0| 6f 6e 67 20 65 6e 6f 75 | 67 68 2c 20 68 6f 77 65 |ong enou|gh, howe|
|000031b0| 76 65 72 2c 20 74 6f 20 | 73 70 72 65 61 64 20 70 |ver, to |spread p|
|000031c0| 61 69 6e 74 20 6f 6e 20 | 61 6c 6c 20 66 6f 75 72 |aint on |all four|
|000031d0| 20 77 61 6c 6c 73 20 6f | 66 20 61 20 32 30 20 62 | walls o|f a 20 b|
|000031e0| 79 20 32 30 20 66 6f 6f | 74 20 72 6f 6f 6d 2e 57 |y 20 foo|t room.W|
|000031f0| 68 65 6e 20 79 6f 75 20 | 68 65 61 72 20 74 68 65 |hen you |hear the|
|00003200| 20 74 6f 69 6c 65 74 20 | 66 6c 75 73 68 20 61 6e | toilet |flush an|
|00003210| 64 20 74 68 65 20 77 6f | 72 64 73 20 27 55 68 2d |d the wo|rds 'Uh-|
|00003220| 6f 68 2c 27 20 69 74 27 | 73 20 61 6c 72 65 61 64 |oh,' it'|s alread|
|00003230| 79 20 74 6f 6f 20 6c 61 | 74 65 2e 42 72 61 6b 65 |y too la|te.Brake|
|00003240| 20 66 6c 75 69 64 20 6d | 69 78 65 64 20 77 69 74 | fluid m|ixed wit|
|00003250| 68 20 43 6c 6f 72 6f 78 | 20 6d 61 6b 65 73 20 73 |h Clorox| makes s|
|00003260| 6d 6f 6b 65 2c 20 61 6e | 64 20 6c 6f 74 73 20 6f |moke, an|d lots o|
|00003270| 66 20 69 74 2e 41 20 73 | 69 78 20 79 65 61 72 20 |f it.A s|ix year |
|00003280| 6f 6c 64 20 63 61 6e 20 | 73 74 61 72 74 20 61 20 |old can |start a |
|00003290| 66 69 72 65 20 77 69 74 | 68 20 61 20 66 6c 69 6e |fire wit|h a flin|
|000032a0| 74 20 72 6f 63 6b 20 65 | 76 65 6e 20 74 68 6f 75 |t rock e|ven thou|
|000032b0| 67 68 20 61 20 33 36 20 | 79 65 61 72 20 6f 6c 64 |gh a 36 |year old|
|000032c0| 20 6d 61 6e 20 73 61 79 | 73 20 74 68 65 79 20 63 | man say|s they c|
|000032d0| 61 6e 20 6f 6e 6c 79 20 | 64 6f 20 69 74 20 69 6e |an only |do it in|
|000032e0| 20 74 68 65 20 6d 6f 76 | 69 65 73 2e 49 66 20 79 | the mov|ies.If y|
|000032f0| 6f 75 20 75 73 65 20 61 | 20 77 61 74 65 72 62 65 |ou use a| waterbe|
|00003300| 64 20 61 73 20 68 6f 6d | 65 20 70 6c 61 74 65 20 |d as hom|e plate |
|00003310| 77 68 69 6c 65 20 77 65 | 61 72 69 6e 67 20 62 61 |while we|aring ba|
|00003320| 73 65 62 61 6c 6c 20 73 | 68 6f 65 73 20 69 74 20 |seball s|hoes it |
|00003330| 64 6f 65 73 20 6e 6f 74 | 20 6c 65 61 6b 20 2d 20 |does not| leak - |
|00003340| 69 74 20 65 78 70 6c 6f | 64 65 73 2e 41 20 6b 69 |it explo|des.A ki|
|00003350| 6e 67 20 73 69 7a 65 20 | 77 61 74 65 72 62 65 64 |ng size |waterbed|
|00003360| 20 68 6f 6c 64 73 20 65 | 6e 6f 75 67 68 20 77 61 | holds e|nough wa|
|00003370| 74 65 72 20 74 6f 20 66 | 69 6c 6c 20 61 20 32 30 |ter to f|ill a 20|
|00003380| 30 30 20 73 71 20 66 6f | 6f 74 20 68 6f 75 73 65 |00 sq fo|ot house|
|00003390| 20 34 20 69 6e 63 68 65 | 73 20 64 65 65 70 2e 4c | 4 inche|s deep.L|
|000033a0| 65 67 6f 73 20 77 69 6c | 6c 20 70 61 73 73 20 74 |egos wil|l pass t|
|000033b0| 68 72 6f 75 67 68 20 74 | 68 65 20 64 69 67 65 73 |hrough t|he diges|
|000033c0| 74 69 76 65 20 74 72 61 | 63 74 20 6f 66 20 61 20 |tive tra|ct of a |
|000033d0| 66 6f 75 72 20 79 65 61 | 72 20 6f 6c 64 2e 53 75 |four yea|r old.Su|
|000033e0| 70 65 72 20 67 6c 75 65 | 20 69 73 20 66 6f 72 65 |per glue| is fore|
|000033f0| 76 65 72 2e 4d 63 47 79 | 76 65 72 20 63 61 6e 20 |ver.McGy|ver can |
|00003400| 74 65 61 63 68 20 75 73 | 20 6d 61 6e 79 20 74 68 |teach us| many th|
|00003410| 69 6e 67 73 20 77 65 20 | 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 77 61 |ings we |don't wa|
|00003420| 6e 74 20 74 6f 20 6b 6e | 6f 77 2e 4e 6f 20 6d 61 |nt to kn|ow.No ma|
|00003430| 74 74 65 72 20 68 6f 77 | 20 6d 75 63 68 20 4a 65 |tter how| much Je|
|00003440| 6c 6c 6f 20 79 6f 75 20 | 70 75 74 20 69 6e 20 61 |llo you |put in a|
|00003450| 20 73 77 69 6d 6d 69 6e | 67 20 70 6f 6f 6c 20 79 | swimmin|g pool y|
|00003460| 6f 75 20 73 74 69 6c 6c | 20 63 61 6e 27 74 20 77 |ou still| can't w|
|00003470| 61 6c 6b 20 6f 6e 20 77 | 61 74 65 72 2e 50 6f 6f |alk on w|ater.Poo|
|00003480| 6c 20 66 69 6c 74 65 72 | 73 20 64 6f 20 6e 6f 74 |l filter|s do not|
|00003490| 20 6c 69 6b 65 20 4a 65 | 6c 6c 6f 2e 56 43 52 27 | like Je|llo.VCR'|
|000034a0| 73 20 64 6f 20 6e 6f 74 | 20 65 6a 65 63 74 20 50 |s do not| eject P|
|000034b0| 42 26 4a 20 73 61 6e 64 | 77 69 63 68 65 73 20 65 |B&J sand|wiches e|
|000034c0| 76 65 6e 20 74 68 6f 75 | 67 68 20 54 56 20 63 6f |ven thou|gh TV co|
|000034d0| 6d 6d 65 72 63 69 61 6c | 73 20 73 68 6f 77 20 74 |mmercial|s show t|
|000034e0| 68 65 79 20 64 6f 2e 41 | 6c 77 61 79 73 20 6c 6f |hey do.A|lways lo|
|000034f0| 6f 6b 20 69 6e 20 74 68 | 65 20 6f 76 65 6e 20 62 |ok in th|e oven b|
|00003500| 65 66 6f 72 65 20 79 6f | 75 20 74 75 72 6e 20 69 |efore yo|u turn i|
|00003510| 74 20 6f 6e 2e 54 68 65 | 20 66 69 72 65 20 64 65 |t on.The| fire de|
|00003520| 70 61 72 74 6d 65 6e 74 | 20 69 6e 20 57 65 6c 6c |partment| in Well|
|00003530| 69 6e 67 74 6f 6e 20 68 | 61 73 20 61 74 20 6c 65 |ington h|as at le|
|00003540| 61 73 74 20 61 20 35 20 | 6d 69 6e 75 74 65 20 72 |ast a 5 |minute r|
|00003550| 65 73 70 6f 6e 73 65 20 | 74 69 6d 65 2e 54 68 65 |esponse |time.The|
|00003560| 20 73 70 69 6e 20 63 79 | 63 6c 65 20 6f 6e 20 74 | spin cy|cle on t|
|00003570| 68 65 20 77 61 73 68 69 | 6e 67 20 6d 61 63 68 69 |he washi|ng machi|
|00003580| 6e 65 20 64 6f 65 73 20 | 6e 6f 74 20 6d 61 6b 65 |ne does |not make|
|00003590| 20 65 61 72 74 68 20 77 | 6f 72 6d 73 20 64 69 7a | earth w|orms diz|
|000035a0| 7a 79 2e 49 74 20 77 69 | 6c 6c 20 68 6f 77 65 76 |zy.It wi|ll howev|
|000035b0| 65 72 20 6d 61 6b 65 20 | 63 61 74 73 20 64 69 7a |er make |cats diz|
|000035c0| 7a 79 2e 43 61 74 73 20 | 74 68 72 6f 77 20 75 70 |zy.Cats |throw up|
|000035d0| 20 74 77 69 63 65 20 74 | 68 65 69 72 20 62 6f 64 | twice t|heir bod|
|000035e0| 79 20 77 65 69 67 68 74 | 20 77 68 65 6e 20 64 69 |y weight| when di|
|000035f0| 7a 7a 79 2e 20 47 65 74 | 74 69 6e 67 20 6d 61 72 |zzy. Get|ting mar|
|00003600| 72 69 65 64 20 69 73 20 | 76 65 72 79 20 6d 75 63 |ried is |very muc|
|00003610| 68 20 6c 69 6b 65 20 67 | 6f 69 6e 67 20 74 6f 20 |h like g|oing to |
|00003620| 61 20 72 65 73 74 61 75 | 72 61 6e 74 20 77 69 74 |a restau|rant wit|
|00003630| 68 20 66 72 69 65 6e 64 | 73 2e 59 6f 75 20 6f 72 |h friend|s.You or|
|00003640| 64 65 72 20 77 68 61 74 | 20 79 6f 75 20 77 61 6e |der what| you wan|
|00003650| 74 2c 20 74 68 65 6e 20 | 77 68 65 6e 20 79 6f 75 |t, then |when you|
|00003660| 20 73 65 65 20 77 68 61 | 74 20 74 68 65 20 6f 74 | see wha|t the ot|
|00003670| 68 65 72 20 70 65 72 73 | 6f 6e 20 68 61 73 2c 20 |her pers|on has, |
|00003680| 79 6f 75 20 77 69 73 68 | 20 79 6f 75 20 68 61 64 |you wish| you had|
|00003690| 20 6f 72 64 65 72 65 64 | 20 74 68 61 74 2e 20 41 | ordered| that. A|
|000036a0| 74 20 74 68 65 20 63 6f | 63 6b 74 61 69 6c 20 70 |t the co|cktail p|
|000036b0| 61 72 74 79 2c 20 6f 6e | 65 20 77 6f 6d 61 6e 20 |arty, on|e woman |
|000036c0| 73 61 69 64 20 74 6f 20 | 61 6e 6f 74 68 65 72 2c |said to |another,|
|000036d0| 20 27 41 72 65 6e 27 74 | 20 79 6f 75 20 77 65 61 | 'Aren't| you wea|
|000036e0| 72 69 6e 67 20 79 6f 75 | 72 20 77 65 64 64 69 6e |ring you|r weddin|
|000036f0| 67 20 72 69 6e 67 20 6f | 6e 20 74 68 65 20 77 72 |g ring o|n the wr|
|00003700| 6f 6e 67 20 66 69 6e 67 | 65 72 3f 27 20 54 68 65 |ong fing|er?' The|
|00003710| 20 6f 74 68 65 72 20 72 | 65 70 6c 69 65 64 2c 20 | other r|eplied, |
|00003720| 27 59 65 73 2c 20 49 20 | 61 6d 2c 20 49 20 6d 61 |'Yes, I |am, I ma|
|00003730| 72 72 69 65 64 20 74 68 | 65 20 77 72 6f 6e 67 20 |rried th|e wrong |
|00003740| 6d 61 6e 2e 27 41 66 74 | 65 72 20 61 20 71 75 61 |man.'Aft|er a qua|
|00003750| 72 72 65 6c 2c 20 61 20 | 68 75 73 62 61 6e 64 20 |rrel, a |husband |
|00003760| 73 61 69 64 20 74 6f 20 | 68 69 73 20 77 69 66 65 |said to |his wife|
|00003770| 2c 20 27 59 6f 75 20 6b | 6e 6f 77 2c 20 49 20 77 |, 'You k|now, I w|
|00003780| 61 73 20 61 20 66 6f 6f | 6c 20 77 68 65 6e 20 49 |as a foo|l when I|
|00003790| 20 6d 61 72 72 69 65 64 | 20 79 6f 75 2e 27 20 53 | married| you.' S|
|000037a0| 68 65 20 72 65 70 6c 69 | 65 64 2c 20 27 59 65 73 |he repli|ed, 'Yes|
|000037b0| 2c 20 64 65 61 72 2c 20 | 62 75 74 20 49 20 77 61 |, dear, |but I wa|
|000037c0| 73 20 69 6e 20 6c 6f 76 | 65 20 61 6e 64 20 64 69 |s in lov|e and di|
|000037d0| 64 6e 27 74 20 6e 6f 74 | 69 63 65 2e 27 20 57 68 |dn't not|ice.' Wh|
|000037e0| 79 20 64 69 64 20 74 68 | 65 20 77 6f 6d 61 6e 20 |y did th|e woman |
|000037f0| 63 72 6f 73 73 20 74 68 | 65 20 72 6f 61 64 3f 20 |cross th|e road? |
|00003800| 54 68 61 74 27 73 20 6e | 6f 74 20 74 68 65 20 70 |That's n|ot the p|
|00003810| 6f 69 6e 74 2c 77 68 61 | 74 27 73 20 73 68 65 20 |oint,wha|t's she |
|00003820| 64 6f 69 6e 67 20 6f 75 | 74 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 |doing ou|t of the|
|00003830| 20 6b 69 74 63 68 65 6e | 3f 57 68 61 74 27 73 20 | kitchen|?What's |
|00003840| 74 68 65 20 66 61 73 74 | 65 73 74 20 77 61 79 20 |the fast|est way |
|00003850| 74 6f 20 61 20 6d 61 6e | 27 73 20 68 65 61 72 74 |to a man|'s heart|
|00003860| 3f 20 54 68 72 6f 75 67 | 68 20 68 69 73 20 63 68 |? Throug|h his ch|
|00003870| 65 73 74 20 77 69 74 68 | 20 61 20 73 68 61 72 70 |est with| a sharp|
|00003880| 20 6b 6e 69 66 65 2e 20 | 57 68 79 20 61 72 65 20 | knife. |Why are |
|00003890| 6d 65 6e 20 6c 69 6b 65 | 20 62 6c 65 6e 64 65 72 |men like| blender|
|000038a0| 73 3f 20 59 6f 75 20 6e | 65 65 64 20 6f 6e 65 2c |s? You n|eed one,|
|000038b0| 20 62 75 74 20 79 6f 75 | 27 72 65 20 6e 6f 74 20 | but you|'re not |
|000038c0| 71 75 69 74 65 20 73 75 | 72 65 20 77 68 79 2e 20 |quite su|re why. |
|000038d0| 53 6f 6d 65 20 6d 65 6e | 20 69 6e 20 61 20 70 69 |Some men| in a pi|
|000038e0| 63 6b 75 70 20 74 72 75 | 63 6b 20 64 72 6f 76 65 |ckup tru|ck drove|
|000038f0| 20 69 6e 74 6f 20 61 20 | 6c 75 6d 62 65 72 79 61 | into a |lumberya|
|00003900| 72 64 2e 20 4f 6e 65 20 | 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 6d |rd. One |of the m|
|00003910| 65 6e 20 77 61 6c 6b 65 | 64 20 69 6e 20 74 68 65 |en walke|d in the|
|00003920| 20 6f 66 66 69 63 65 20 | 61 6e 64 20 73 61 69 64 | office |and said|
|00003930| 2c 20 27 57 65 20 6e 65 | 65 64 20 73 6f 6d 65 20 |, 'We ne|ed some |
|00003940| 66 6f 75 72 2d 62 79 2d | 74 77 6f 73 2e 27 41 20 |four-by-|twos.'A |
|00003950| 6d 61 6e 20 77 61 73 20 | 73 69 74 74 69 6e 67 20 |man was |sitting |
|00003960| 61 6c 6f 6e 65 20 69 6e | 20 68 69 73 20 6f 66 66 |alone in| his off|
|00003970| 69 63 65 20 6f 6e 65 20 | 6e 69 67 68 74 20 77 68 |ice one |night wh|
|00003980| 65 6e 20 61 20 67 65 6e | 69 65 20 70 6f 70 70 65 |en a gen|ie poppe|
|00003990| 64 20 75 70 20 6f 75 74 | 20 6f 66 20 68 69 73 20 |d up out| of his |
|000039a0| 61 73 68 74 72 61 79 20 | 61 6e 64 20 73 61 69 64 |ashtray |and said|
|000039b0| 2c 20 27 41 6e 64 20 77 | 68 61 74 20 77 69 6c 6c |, 'And w|hat will|
|000039c0| 20 79 6f 75 72 20 74 68 | 69 72 64 20 77 69 73 68 | your th|ird wish|
|000039d0| 20 62 65 3f 27 54 68 65 | 20 6d 61 6e 20 6c 6f 6f | be?'The| man loo|
|000039e0| 6b 65 64 20 61 74 20 74 | 68 65 20 67 65 6e 69 65 |ked at t|he genie|
|000039f0| 20 61 6e 64 20 73 61 69 | 64 2c 20 27 48 75 68 3f | and sai|d, 'Huh?|
|00003a00| 20 48 6f 77 20 63 61 6e | 20 49 20 62 65 20 67 65 | How can| I be ge|
|00003a10| 74 74 69 6e 67 20 61 20 | 74 68 69 72 64 20 77 69 |tting a |third wi|
|00003a20| 73 68 20 77 68 65 6e 20 | 49 20 68 61 76 65 6e 27 |sh when |I haven'|
|00003a30| 74 20 68 61 64 20 61 20 | 66 69 72 73 74 20 6f 72 |t had a |first or|
|00003a40| 20 73 65 63 6f 6e 64 20 | 77 69 73 68 20 79 65 74 | second |wish yet|
|00003a50| 3f 27 20 27 59 6f 75 20 | 68 61 76 65 20 68 61 64 |?' 'You |have had|
|00003a60| 20 74 77 6f 20 77 69 73 | 68 65 73 20 61 6c 72 65 | two wis|hes alre|
|00003a70| 61 64 79 2c 27 20 74 68 | 65 20 67 65 6e 69 65 20 |ady,' th|e genie |
|00003a80| 73 61 69 64 2c 20 27 62 | 75 74 20 79 6f 75 72 20 |said, 'b|ut your |
|00003a90| 73 65 63 6f 6e 64 20 77 | 69 73 68 20 77 61 73 20 |second w|ish was |
|00003aa0| 66 6f 72 20 6d 65 20 74 | 6f 20 70 75 74 20 65 76 |for me t|o put ev|
|00003ab0| 65 72 79 74 68 69 6e 67 | 20 62 61 63 6b 20 74 68 |erything| back th|
|00003ac0| 65 20 77 61 79 20 69 74 | 20 77 61 73 20 62 65 66 |e way it| was bef|
|00003ad0| 6f 72 65 20 79 6f 75 20 | 6d 61 64 65 20 79 6f 75 |ore you |made you|
|00003ae0| 72 20 66 69 72 73 74 20 | 77 69 73 68 2e 20 54 68 |r first |wish. Th|
|00003af0| 75 73 2c 20 79 6f 75 20 | 72 65 6d 65 6d 62 65 72 |us, you |remember|
|00003b00| 20 6e 6f 74 68 69 6e 67 | 2c 20 62 65 63 61 75 73 | nothing|, becaus|
|00003b10| 65 20 65 76 65 72 79 74 | 68 69 6e 67 20 69 73 20 |e everyt|hing is |
|00003b20| 74 68 65 20 77 61 79 20 | 69 74 20 77 61 73 20 62 |the way |it was b|
|00003b30| 65 66 6f 72 65 20 79 6f | 75 20 6d 61 64 65 20 61 |efore yo|u made a|
|00003b40| 6e 79 20 77 69 73 68 65 | 73 2e 20 59 6f 75 20 68 |ny wishe|s. You h|
|00003b50| 61 76 65 20 6f 6e 65 20 | 77 69 73 68 20 6c 65 66 |ave one |wish lef|
|00003b60| 74 2e 27 20 27 4f 6b 61 | 79 2c 27 20 73 61 69 64 |t.' 'Oka|y,' said|
|00003b70| 20 74 68 65 20 6d 61 6e | 2c 20 27 49 20 64 6f 6e | the man|, 'I don|
|00003b80| 27 74 20 62 65 6c 69 65 | 76 65 20 74 68 69 73 2c |'t belie|ve this,|
|00003b90| 20 62 75 74 20 77 68 61 | 74 20 74 68 65 20 68 65 | but wha|t the he|
|00003ba0| 63 6b 2e 20 49 20 77 69 | 73 68 20 49 20 77 65 72 |ck. I wi|sh I wer|
|00003bb0| 65 20 69 72 72 65 73 69 | 73 74 69 62 6c 65 20 74 |e irresi|stible t|
|00003bc0| 6f 20 77 6f 6d 65 6e 2e | 27 20 27 46 75 6e 6e 79 |o women.|' 'Funny|
|00003bd0| 2c 27 20 73 61 69 64 20 | 74 68 65 20 67 65 6e 69 |,' said |the geni|
|00003be0| 65 20 61 73 20 69 74 20 | 67 72 61 6e 74 65 64 20 |e as it |granted |
|00003bf0| 68 69 73 20 77 69 73 68 | 20 61 6e 64 20 64 69 73 |his wish| and dis|
|00003c00| 61 70 70 65 61 72 65 64 | 20 66 6f 72 65 76 65 72 |appeared| forever|
|00003c10| 2e 20 27 54 68 61 74 20 | 77 61 73 20 79 6f 75 72 |. 'That |was your|
|00003c20| 20 66 69 72 73 74 20 77 | 69 73 68 2c 20 74 6f 6f | first w|ish, too|
|00003c30| 2e 27 20 48 75 6d 61 6e | 6b 69 6e 64 20 77 69 6c |.' Human|kind wil|
|00003c40| 6c 20 6e 6f 74 20 62 65 | 20 66 72 65 65 20 75 6e |l not be| free un|
|00003c50| 74 69 6c 20 74 68 65 20 | 6c 61 73 74 20 4b 72 65 |til the |last Kre|
|00003c60| 6d 6c 69 6e 20 63 6f 6d | 6d 69 73 73 61 72 20 69 |mlin com|missar i|
|00003c70| 73 20 73 74 72 61 6e 67 | 6c 65 64 20 77 69 74 68 |s strang|led with|
|00003c80| 20 74 68 65 20 65 6e 74 | 72 61 69 6c 73 20 6f 66 | the ent|rails of|
|00003c90| 20 74 68 65 20 6c 61 73 | 74 20 50 65 6e 74 61 67 | the las|t Pentag|
|00003ca0| 6f 6e 20 63 68 69 65 66 | 20 6f 66 20 73 74 61 66 |on chief| of staf|
|00003cb0| 66 2e 49 6e 20 61 6c 6c | 20 6f 66 20 6e 61 74 75 |f.In all| of natu|
|00003cc0| 72 65 2c 20 74 68 65 72 | 65 20 69 73 20 6e 6f 20 |re, ther|e is no |
|00003cd0| 73 6f 75 6e 64 20 6d 6f | 72 65 20 70 6c 65 61 73 |sound mo|re pleas|
|00003ce0| 69 6e 67 20 74 68 61 6e | 20 74 68 61 74 20 6f 66 |ing than| that of|
|00003cf0| 20 61 20 68 75 6e 67 72 | 79 20 61 6e 69 6d 61 6c | a hungr|y animal|
|00003d00| 20 61 74 20 69 74 73 20 | 66 65 65 64 2e 20 55 6e | at its |feed. Un|
|00003d10| 6c 65 73 73 20 79 6f 75 | 20 61 72 65 20 74 68 65 |less you| are the|
|00003d20| 20 66 6f 6f 64 2e 4c 69 | 74 65 72 61 72 79 20 63 | food.Li|terary c|
|00003d30| 72 69 74 69 63 73 2c 20 | 6c 69 6b 65 20 61 20 68 |ritics, |like a h|
|00003d40| 65 72 64 20 6f 66 20 63 | 6f 77 73 20 6f 72 20 61 |erd of c|ows or a|
|00003d50| 20 73 63 68 6f 6f 6c 20 | 6f 66 20 66 69 73 68 2c | school |of fish,|
|00003d60| 20 61 6c 77 61 79 73 20 | 66 61 63 65 20 69 6e 20 | always |face in |
|00003d70| 74 68 65 20 73 61 6d 65 | 20 64 69 72 65 63 74 69 |the same| directi|
|00003d80| 6f 6e 2c 20 6f 62 65 79 | 69 6e 67 20 74 68 61 74 |on, obey|ing that|
|00003d90| 20 6c 6f 76 65 20 66 6f | 72 20 75 6e 69 74 79 20 | love fo|r unity |
|00003da0| 74 68 61 74 20 65 76 65 | 72 79 20 63 72 69 74 69 |that eve|ry criti|
|00003db0| 63 20 72 65 71 75 69 72 | 65 73 2e 54 68 65 20 62 |c requir|es.The b|
|00003dc0| 65 73 74 20 70 65 6f 70 | 6c 65 2c 20 6c 69 6b 65 |est peop|le, like|
|00003dd0| 20 74 68 65 20 62 65 73 | 74 20 77 69 6e 65 73 2c | the bes|t wines,|
|00003de0| 20 63 6f 6d 65 20 66 72 | 6f 6d 20 74 68 65 20 68 | come fr|om the h|
|00003df0| 69 6c 6c 73 2e 27 43 6f | 6e 74 72 61 72 69 77 69 |ills.'Co|ntrariwi|
|00003e00| 73 65 27 2c 20 63 6f 6e | 74 69 6e 75 65 64 20 54 |se', con|tinued T|
|00003e10| 77 65 65 64 6c 65 64 65 | 65 2c 20 27 49 66 20 69 |weedlede|e, 'If i|
|00003e20| 74 20 77 61 73 20 73 6f | 2c 20 69 74 20 6d 69 67 |t was so|, it mig|
|00003e30| 68 74 20 62 65 3b 20 61 | 6e 64 20 69 66 20 69 74 |ht be; a|nd if it|
|00003e40| 20 77 65 72 65 20 73 6f | 2c 20 69 74 20 77 6f 75 | were so|, it wou|
|00003e50| 6c 64 20 62 65 3b 20 62 | 75 74 20 61 73 20 69 74 |ld be; b|ut as it|
|00003e60| 20 69 73 6e 27 74 2c 20 | 69 74 20 61 69 6e 27 74 | isn't, |it ain't|
|00003e70| 2e 20 54 68 61 74 27 73 | 20 6c 6f 67 69 63 2e 27 |. That's| logic.'|
|00003e80| 49 74 20 69 73 20 74 69 | 6d 65 20 66 6f 72 20 75 |It is ti|me for u|
|00003e90| 73 20 6d 65 6e 20 74 6f | 20 61 63 6b 6e 6f 77 6c |s men to| acknowl|
|00003ea0| 65 64 67 65 20 6e 6f 74 | 20 6f 6e 6c 79 20 74 68 |edge not| only th|
|00003eb0| 61 74 20 77 6f 6d 65 6e | 20 61 72 65 20 76 61 73 |at women| are vas|
|00003ec0| 74 6c 79 20 73 75 70 65 | 72 69 6f 72 20 62 65 69 |tly supe|rior bei|
|00003ed0| 6e 67 73 20 28 74 68 61 | 74 27 73 20 65 61 73 79 |ngs (tha|t's easy|
|00003ee0| 29 20 62 75 74 20 61 6c | 73 6f 20 74 68 61 74 20 |) but al|so that |
|00003ef0| 74 68 65 79 20 61 72 65 | 20 2d 20 69 6e 20 65 76 |they are| - in ev|
|00003f00| 65 72 79 20 77 61 79 20 | 74 68 61 74 20 6d 61 74 |ery way |that mat|
|00003f10| 74 65 72 73 20 2d 20 6f | 75 72 20 65 71 75 61 6c |ters - o|ur equal|
|00003f20| 73 2e 20 54 68 61 74 27 | 73 20 68 61 72 64 2e 20 |s. That'|s hard. |
|00003f30| 41 20 70 61 6c 69 6e 64 | 72 6f 6d 65 3a 20 52 65 |A palind|rome: Re|
|00003f40| 74 74 65 62 20 73 69 66 | 20 6c 61 68 64 2c 20 6e |tteb sif| lahd, n|
|00003f50| 6f 63 65 73 20 65 68 74 | 74 75 62 2c 20 62 75 74 |oces eht|tub, but|
|00003f60| 20 74 68 65 20 73 65 63 | 6f 6e 64 20 68 61 6c 66 | the sec|ond half|
|00003f70| 20 69 73 20 62 65 74 74 | 65 72 2e 20 48 65 61 6c | is bett|er. Heal|
|00003f80| 74 68 20 69 73 20 6d 65 | 72 65 6c 79 20 74 68 65 |th is me|rely the|
|00003f90| 20 73 6c 6f 77 65 73 74 | 20 77 61 79 20 73 6f 6d | slowest| way som|
|00003fa0| 65 6f 6e 65 20 63 61 6e | 20 64 69 65 2e 20 41 73 |eone can| die. As|
|00003fb0| 20 6c 6f 6e 67 20 61 73 | 20 74 68 65 72 65 20 61 | long as| there a|
|00003fc0| 72 65 20 74 65 73 74 73 | 2c 20 74 68 65 72 65 20 |re tests|, there |
|00003fd0| 77 69 6c 6c 20 62 65 20 | 70 72 61 79 65 72 20 69 |will be |prayer i|
|00003fe0| 6e 20 70 75 62 6c 69 63 | 20 73 63 68 6f 6f 6c 2e |n public| school.|
|00003ff0| 20 54 69 6d 65 20 69 73 | 20 6e 61 74 75 72 65 27 | Time is| nature'|
|00004000| 73 20 77 61 79 20 6f 66 | 20 6b 65 65 70 69 6e 67 |s way of| keeping|
|00004010| 20 65 76 65 72 79 74 68 | 69 6e 67 20 66 72 6f 6d | everyth|ing from|
|00004020| 20 68 61 70 70 65 6e 69 | 6e 67 20 61 6c 6c 20 61 | happeni|ng all a|
|00004030| 74 20 6f 6e 63 65 2e 20 | 48 69 73 74 6f 72 79 20 |t once. |History |
|00004040| 73 69 6d 70 6c 79 20 64 | 6f 63 75 6d 65 6e 74 73 |simply d|ocuments|
|00004050| 20 74 68 65 20 73 75 63 | 63 65 73 73 20 6f 66 20 | the suc|cess of |
|00004060| 74 68 61 74 20 61 70 70 | 72 6f 61 63 68 2e 20 49 |that app|roach. I|
|00004070| 6e 20 74 68 65 20 62 65 | 67 69 6e 6e 69 6e 67 20 |n the be|ginning |
|00004080| 74 68 65 72 65 20 77 61 | 73 20 6e 6f 74 68 69 6e |there wa|s nothin|
|00004090| 67 2c 20 77 68 69 63 68 | 20 65 78 70 6c 6f 64 65 |g, which| explode|
|000040a0| 64 2e 20 28 62 69 67 20 | 62 61 6e 67 20 74 68 65 |d. (big |bang the|
|000040b0| 6f 72 79 29 2e 20 49 74 | 20 69 73 20 6f 6e 65 20 |ory). It| is one |
|000040c0| 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 73 | 75 70 65 72 73 74 69 74 |of the s|uperstit|
|000040d0| 69 6f 6e 73 20 6f 66 20 | 74 68 65 20 68 75 6d 61 |ions of |the huma|
|000040e0| 6e 20 6d 69 6e 64 20 74 | 6f 20 68 61 76 65 20 69 |n mind t|o have i|
|000040f0| 6d 61 67 69 6e 65 64 20 | 74 68 61 74 20 76 69 72 |magined |that vir|
|00004100| 67 69 6e 69 74 79 20 63 | 6f 75 6c 64 20 62 65 20 |ginity c|ould be |
|00004110| 61 20 76 69 72 74 75 65 | 2e 54 68 65 72 65 20 61 |a virtue|.There a|
|00004120| 72 65 20 73 6f 6d 65 20 | 6d 69 63 72 6f 2d 6f 72 |re some |micro-or|
|00004130| 67 61 6e 69 73 6d 73 20 | 74 68 61 74 20 65 78 68 |ganisms |that exh|
|00004140| 69 62 69 74 20 63 68 61 | 72 61 63 74 65 72 69 73 |ibit cha|racteris|
|00004150| 74 69 63 73 20 6f 66 20 | 62 6f 74 68 20 70 6c 61 |tics of |both pla|
|00004160| 6e 74 73 20 61 6e 64 20 | 61 6e 69 6d 61 6c 73 2e |nts and |animals.|
|00004170| 20 57 68 65 6e 20 65 78 | 70 6f 73 65 64 20 74 6f | When ex|posed to|
|00004180| 20 6c 69 67 68 74 20 74 | 68 65 79 20 75 6e 64 65 | light t|hey unde|
|00004190| 72 67 6f 20 70 68 6f 74 | 6f 73 79 6e 74 68 65 73 |rgo phot|osynthes|
|000041a0| 69 73 3b 20 61 6e 64 20 | 77 68 65 6e 20 74 68 65 |is; and |when the|
|000041b0| 20 6c 69 67 68 74 73 20 | 67 6f 20 6f 75 74 2c 20 | lights |go out, |
|000041c0| 74 68 65 79 20 74 75 72 | 6e 20 69 6e 74 6f 20 61 |they tur|n into a|
|000041d0| 6e 69 6d 61 6c 73 2e 20 | 42 75 74 20 74 68 65 6e |nimals. |But then|
|000041e0| 20 61 67 61 69 6e 2c 20 | 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 77 65 | again, |don't we|
|000041f0| 20 61 6c 6c 3f 20 27 49 | 74 27 73 20 65 61 73 69 | all? 'I|t's easi|
|00004200| 65 72 20 73 61 69 64 20 | 74 68 61 6e 20 64 6f 6e |er said |than don|
|00004210| 65 2e 27 20 2e 20 61 6e | 64 20 69 66 20 79 6f 75 |e.' . an|d if you|
|00004220| 20 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 62 | 65 6c 69 65 76 65 20 69 | don't b|elieve i|
|00004230| 74 2c 20 74 72 79 20 70 | 72 6f 76 69 6e 67 20 74 |t, try p|roving t|
|00004240| 68 61 74 20 69 74 27 73 | 20 65 61 73 69 65 72 20 |hat it's| easier |
|00004250| 64 6f 6e 65 20 74 68 61 | 6e 20 73 61 69 64 2c 20 |done tha|n said, |
|00004260| 61 6e 64 20 79 6f 75 27 | 6c 6c 20 73 65 65 20 74 |and you'|ll see t|
|00004270| 68 61 74 20 27 69 74 27 | 73 20 65 61 73 69 65 72 |hat 'it'|s easier|
|00004280| 20 73 61 69 64 20 74 68 | 61 74 20 60 69 74 27 73 | said th|at `it's|
|00004290| 20 65 61 73 69 65 72 20 | 64 6f 6e 65 20 74 68 61 | easier |done tha|
|000042a0| 6e 20 73 61 69 64 27 20 | 74 68 61 6e 20 69 74 20 |n said' |than it |
|000042b0| 69 73 20 64 6f 6e 65 27 | 2c 20 77 68 69 63 68 20 |is done'|, which |
|000042c0| 72 65 61 6c 6c 79 20 70 | 72 6f 76 65 73 20 74 68 |really p|roves th|
|000042d0| 61 74 20 27 69 74 27 73 | 20 65 61 73 69 65 72 20 |at 'it's| easier |
|000042e0| 73 61 69 64 20 74 68 61 | 6e 20 64 6f 6e 65 27 2e |said tha|n done'.|
|000042f0| 20 4b 69 64 73 20 75 73 | 65 64 20 74 6f 20 61 73 | Kids us|ed to as|
|00004300| 6b 20 79 6f 75 20 77 68 | 65 72 65 20 74 68 65 79 |k you wh|ere they|
|00004310| 20 63 61 6d 65 20 66 72 | 6f 6d 20 2d 20 6e 6f 77 | came fr|om - now|
|00004320| 20 74 68 65 79 20 74 65 | 6c 6c 20 79 6f 75 20 77 | they te|ll you w|
|00004330| 68 65 72 65 20 74 6f 20 | 67 6f 2e 20 4e 65 76 65 |here to |go. Neve|
|00004340| 72 20 6c 65 74 20 79 6f | 75 72 20 73 74 75 64 69 |r let yo|ur studi|
|00004350| 65 73 20 69 6e 74 65 72 | 66 65 72 65 20 77 69 74 |es inter|fere wit|
|00004360| 68 20 79 6f 75 72 20 65 | 64 75 63 61 74 69 6f 6e |h your e|ducation|
|00004370| 2e 20 49 66 20 79 6f 75 | 20 63 61 6e 27 74 20 62 |. If you| can't b|
|00004380| 61 66 66 6c 65 20 74 68 | 65 6d 20 77 69 74 68 20 |affle th|em with |
|00004390| 62 72 69 6c 6c 69 61 6e | 63 65 2c 20 62 65 66 75 |brillian|ce, befu|
|000043a0| 64 64 6c 65 20 74 68 65 | 6d 20 77 69 74 68 20 62 |ddle the|m with b|
|000043b0| 75 6c 6c 73 68 69 74 2e | 20 50 65 6f 70 6c 65 20 |ullshit.| People |
|000043c0| 69 6e 20 67 72 6f 75 70 | 73 20 74 65 6e 64 20 74 |in group|s tend t|
|000043d0| 6f 20 61 67 72 65 65 20 | 6f 6e 20 63 6f 75 72 73 |o agree |on cours|
|000043e0| 65 73 20 6f 66 20 61 63 | 74 69 6f 6e 20 77 68 69 |es of ac|tion whi|
|000043f0| 63 68 2c 20 61 73 20 69 | 6e 64 69 76 69 64 75 61 |ch, as i|ndividua|
|00004400| 6c 73 2c 20 74 68 65 79 | 20 6b 6e 6f 77 20 61 72 |ls, they| know ar|
|00004410| 65 20 73 74 75 70 69 64 | 2e 20 53 6d 69 6c 65 20 |e stupid|. Smile |
|00004420| 2d 20 69 74 20 6d 61 6b | 65 73 20 70 65 6f 70 6c |- it mak|es peopl|
|00004430| 65 20 77 6f 6e 64 65 72 | 20 77 68 61 74 20 79 6f |e wonder| what yo|
|00004440| 75 27 72 65 20 74 68 69 | 6e 6b 69 6e 67 2e 20 46 |u're thi|nking. F|
|00004450| 6f 6c 6c 6f 77 69 6e 67 | 20 74 68 65 20 70 61 74 |ollowing| the pat|
|00004460| 68 20 6f 66 20 6c 65 61 | 73 74 20 72 65 73 69 73 |h of lea|st resis|
|00004470| 74 61 6e 63 65 20 69 73 | 20 77 68 61 74 20 6d 61 |tance is| what ma|
|00004480| 6b 65 73 20 6d 65 6e 20 | 61 6e 64 20 72 69 76 65 |kes men |and rive|
|00004490| 72 73 20 63 72 6f 6f 6b | 65 64 2e 20 4f 6e 65 20 |rs crook|ed. One |
|000044a0| 6d 61 6e 27 73 20 74 72 | 61 73 68 20 69 73 20 61 |man's tr|ash is a|
|000044b0| 6e 6f 74 68 65 72 20 6d | 61 6e 27 73 20 74 72 65 |nother m|an's tre|
|000044c0| 61 73 75 72 65 2e 20 42 | 65 61 74 20 79 6f 75 72 |asure. B|eat your|
|000044d0| 20 63 68 69 6c 64 20 6f | 6e 63 65 20 61 20 64 61 | child o|nce a da|
|000044e0| 79 2e 20 49 66 20 79 6f | 75 20 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 |y. If yo|u don't |
|000044f0| 6b 6e 6f 77 20 77 68 79 | 2c 20 68 65 20 64 6f 65 |know why|, he doe|
|00004500| 73 2e 20 41 6e 67 65 72 | 20 69 73 20 6e 65 76 65 |s. Anger| is neve|
|00004510| 72 20 77 69 74 68 6f 75 | 74 20 72 65 61 73 6f 6e |r withou|t reason|
|00004520| 2c 20 62 75 74 20 73 65 | 6c 64 6f 6d 20 77 69 74 |, but se|ldom wit|
|00004530| 68 20 61 20 67 6f 6f 64 | 20 6f 6e 65 2e 20 54 68 |h a good| one. Th|
|00004540| 65 20 73 70 69 72 69 74 | 20 69 73 20 77 69 6c 6c |e spirit| is will|
|00004550| 69 6e 67 20 2d 20 62 75 | 74 20 74 68 65 20 66 6c |ing - bu|t the fl|
|00004560| 75 73 68 20 69 73 20 77 | 65 61 6b 2e 20 49 66 20 |ush is w|eak. If |
|00004570| 61 20 73 74 72 69 6e 67 | 20 68 61 73 20 6f 6e 65 |a string| has one|
|00004580| 20 65 6e 64 2c 20 69 74 | 20 68 61 73 20 61 6e 6f | end, it| has ano|
|00004590| 74 68 65 72 2e 20 54 68 | 65 73 65 20 70 69 6c 6c |ther. Th|ese pill|
|000045a0| 73 20 63 61 6e 27 74 20 | 62 65 20 68 61 62 69 74 |s can't |be habit|
|000045b0| 20 66 6f 72 6d 69 6e 67 | 3b 20 49 27 76 65 20 62 | forming|; I've b|
|000045c0| 65 65 6e 20 74 61 6b 69 | 6e 67 20 74 68 65 6d 20 |een taki|ng them |
|000045d0| 66 6f 72 20 79 65 61 72 | 73 2e 20 54 68 65 20 64 |for year|s. The d|
|000045e0| 65 6e 74 69 73 74 20 6e | 65 76 65 72 20 74 61 6c |entist n|ever tal|
|000045f0| 6b 73 20 74 6f 20 68 69 | 73 20 70 61 74 69 65 6e |ks to hi|s patien|
|00004600| 74 73 20 75 6e 74 69 6c | 20 74 68 65 20 64 72 69 |ts until| the dri|
|00004610| 6c 6c 20 69 73 20 69 6e | 20 74 68 65 69 72 20 6d |ll is in| their m|
|00004620| 6f 75 74 68 73 2e 20 4d | 61 6b 65 20 69 74 20 70 |ouths. M|ake it p|
|00004630| 6f 73 73 69 62 6c 65 20 | 66 6f 72 20 70 72 6f 67 |ossible |for prog|
|00004640| 72 61 6d 6d 65 72 73 20 | 74 6f 20 77 72 69 74 65 |rammers |to write|
|00004650| 20 70 72 6f 67 72 61 6d | 73 20 69 6e 20 45 6e 67 | program|s in Eng|
|00004660| 6c 69 73 68 2c 20 61 6e | 64 20 79 6f 75 20 77 69 |lish, an|d you wi|
|00004670| 6c 6c 20 66 69 6e 64 20 | 74 68 65 20 70 72 6f 67 |ll find |the prog|
|00004680| 72 61 6d 6d 65 72 73 20 | 63 61 6e 6e 6f 74 20 77 |rammers |cannot w|
|00004690| 72 69 74 65 20 69 6e 20 | 45 6e 67 6c 69 73 68 2e |rite in |English.|
|000046a0| 20 59 6f 75 20 63 61 6e | 6e 6f 74 20 68 61 76 65 | You can|not have|
|000046b0| 20 61 20 62 61 62 79 20 | 69 6e 20 6f 6e 65 20 6d | a baby |in one m|
|000046c0| 6f 6e 74 68 20 62 79 20 | 67 65 74 74 69 6e 67 20 |onth by |getting |
|000046d0| 6e 69 6e 65 20 77 6f 6d | 65 6e 20 70 72 65 67 6e |nine wom|en pregn|
|000046e0| 61 6e 74 2e 20 49 74 20 | 74 61 6b 65 73 20 6f 6e |ant. It |takes on|
|000046f0| 65 20 77 6f 6d 61 6e 20 | 6e 69 6e 65 20 6d 6f 6e |e woman |nine mon|
|00004700| 74 68 73 20 74 6f 20 68 | 61 76 65 20 61 20 62 61 |ths to h|ave a ba|
|00004710| 62 79 2c 20 6e 6f 20 6d | 61 74 74 65 72 20 68 6f |by, no m|atter ho|
|00004720| 77 20 6d 61 6e 79 20 6d | 65 6e 20 79 6f 75 20 70 |w many m|en you p|
|00004730| 75 74 20 6f 6e 20 74 68 | 65 20 6a 6f 62 2e 20 49 |ut on th|e job. I|
|00004740| 66 20 65 76 65 72 79 74 | 68 69 6e 67 20 73 65 65 |f everyt|hing see|
|00004750| 6d 73 20 74 6f 20 62 65 | 20 67 6f 69 6e 67 20 77 |ms to be| going w|
|00004760| 65 6c 6c 2c 20 79 6f 75 | 20 68 61 76 65 20 6f 62 |ell, you| have ob|
|00004770| 76 69 6f 75 73 6c 79 20 | 6f 76 65 72 6c 6f 6f 6b |viously |overlook|
|00004780| 65 64 20 73 6f 6d 65 74 | 68 69 6e 67 2e 20 54 68 |ed somet|hing. Th|
|00004790| 65 20 6f 6e 6c 79 20 70 | 65 6f 70 6c 65 20 6d 61 |e only p|eople ma|
|000047a0| 6b 69 6e 67 20 6d 6f 6e | 65 79 20 74 68 65 73 65 |king mon|ey these|
|000047b0| 20 64 61 79 73 20 61 72 | 65 20 74 68 65 20 6f 6e | days ar|e the on|
|000047c0| 65 73 20 77 68 6f 20 73 | 65 6c 6c 20 63 6f 6d 70 |es who s|ell comp|
|000047d0| 75 74 65 72 20 70 61 70 | 65 72 2e 20 49 66 20 79 |uter pap|er. If y|
|000047e0| 6f 75 20 64 69 64 6e 27 | 74 20 68 61 76 65 20 70 |ou didn'|t have p|
|000047f0| 72 6f 62 6c 65 6d 73 2c | 20 79 6f 75 20 77 6f 75 |roblems,| you wou|
|00004800| 6c 64 6e 27 74 20 6e 65 | 65 64 20 70 65 6f 70 6c |ldn't ne|ed peopl|
|00004810| 65 20 61 72 6f 75 6e 64 | 20 74 6f 20 68 65 6c 70 |e around| to help|
|00004820| 20 73 6f 6c 76 65 20 74 | 68 65 6d 2e 20 43 6f 6e | solve t|hem. Con|
|00004830| 76 65 72 73 65 6c 79 2c | 20 69 66 20 79 6f 75 20 |versely,| if you |
|00004840| 64 69 64 6e 27 74 20 68 | 61 76 65 20 70 65 6f 70 |didn't h|ave peop|
|00004850| 6c 65 20 61 72 6f 75 6e | 64 2c 20 6d 61 79 62 65 |le aroun|d, maybe|
|00004860| 20 79 6f 75 20 77 6f 75 | 6c 64 6e 27 74 20 68 61 | you wou|ldn't ha|
|00004870| 76 65 20 70 72 6f 62 6c | 65 6d 73 2e 20 57 68 65 |ve probl|ems. Whe|
|00004880| 6e 20 61 20 66 61 69 6c | 2d 73 61 66 65 20 73 79 |n a fail|-safe sy|
|00004890| 73 74 65 6d 20 66 61 69 | 6c 73 2c 20 69 74 20 66 |stem fai|ls, it f|
|000048a0| 61 69 6c 73 20 62 79 20 | 66 61 69 6c 69 6e 67 20 |ails by |failing |
|000048b0| 74 6f 20 62 65 20 66 61 | 69 6c 2d 73 61 66 65 2e |to be fa|il-safe.|
|000048c0| 20 48 65 20 77 68 6f 20 | 68 6f 6f 74 73 20 77 69 | He who |hoots wi|
|000048d0| 74 68 20 74 68 65 20 6f | 77 6c 20 61 74 20 6e 69 |th the o|wl at ni|
|000048e0| 67 68 74 20 77 69 6c 6c | 20 6e 6f 74 20 73 6f 61 |ght will| not soa|
|000048f0| 72 20 77 69 74 68 20 74 | 68 65 20 65 61 67 6c 65 |r with t|he eagle|
|00004900| 20 61 74 20 64 61 77 6e | 2e 20 49 66 20 79 6f 75 | at dawn|. If you|
|00004910| 20 66 69 6e 64 20 73 6f | 6d 65 74 68 69 6e 67 20 | find so|mething |
|00004920| 79 6f 75 20 6c 69 6b 65 | 2c 20 62 75 79 20 61 20 |you like|, buy a |
|00004930| 6c 69 66 65 74 69 6d 65 | 20 73 75 70 70 6c 79 20 |lifetime| supply |
|00004940| 2d 20 74 68 65 79 27 72 | 65 20 67 6f 69 6e 67 20 |- they'r|e going |
|00004950| 74 6f 20 73 74 6f 70 20 | 6d 61 6b 69 6e 67 20 69 |to stop |making i|
|00004960| 74 2e 20 41 20 64 72 75 | 6e 6b 65 6e 20 6d 61 6e |t. A dru|nken man|
|00004970| 27 73 20 77 6f 72 64 73 | 20 61 72 65 20 61 20 73 |'s words| are a s|
|00004980| 6f 62 65 72 20 6d 61 6e | 27 73 20 74 68 6f 75 67 |ober man|'s thoug|
|00004990| 68 74 73 2e 20 54 77 6f | 27 73 20 61 20 63 6f 6d |hts. Two|'s a com|
|000049a0| 70 61 6e 79 2c 20 74 68 | 72 65 65 27 73 20 61 6e |pany, th|ree's an|
|000049b0| 20 6f 72 67 79 2e 20 41 | 20 72 6f 61 64 20 6d 61 | orgy. A| road ma|
|000049c0| 70 20 74 65 6c 6c 73 20 | 79 6f 75 20 65 76 65 72 |p tells |you ever|
|000049d0| 79 74 68 69 6e 67 20 65 | 78 63 65 70 74 20 68 6f |ything e|xcept ho|
|000049e0| 77 20 74 6f 20 72 65 66 | 6f 6c 64 20 69 74 2e 20 |w to ref|old it. |
|000049f0| 45 76 69 6c 20 69 73 20 | 27 6c 69 76 65 27 20 73 |Evil is |'live' s|
|00004a00| 70 65 6c 6c 65 64 20 62 | 61 63 6b 77 61 72 64 73 |pelled b|ackwards|
|00004a10| 2e 20 41 6c 6c 65 20 4b | 75 6e 73 74 20 69 73 74 |. Alle K|unst ist|
|00004a20| 20 65 6d 73 75 6e 73 74 | 20 77 65 6e 6e 20 65 69 | emsunst| wenn ei|
|00004a30| 6e 20 45 6e 67 65 6c 20 | 61 75 66 20 64 61 73 20 |n Engel |auf das |
|00004a40| 7a 75 6e 64 6c 6f 63 68 | 20 62 72 75 6e 7a 74 2e |zundloch| brunzt.|
|00004a50| 20 41 6c 6c 20 73 6b 69 | 6c 6c 20 69 73 20 69 6e | All ski|ll is in|
|00004a60| 20 76 61 69 6e 20 77 68 | 65 6e 20 61 6e 20 61 6e | vain wh|en an an|
|00004a70| 67 65 6c 20 70 65 65 73 | 20 69 6e 20 74 68 65 20 |gel pees| in the |
|00004a80| 74 6f 75 63 68 68 6f 6c | 65 20 6f 66 20 79 6f 75 |touchhol|e of you|
|00004a90| 72 20 6d 75 73 6b 65 74 | 2e 20 54 68 65 20 74 72 |r musket|. The tr|
|00004aa0| 6f 75 62 6c 65 20 77 69 | 74 68 20 70 65 6f 70 6c |ouble wi|th peopl|
|00004ab0| 65 20 69 73 20 74 68 65 | 69 72 20 74 72 6f 75 62 |e is the|ir troub|
|00004ac0| 6c 65 20 77 69 74 68 20 | 70 65 6f 70 6c 65 2e 20 |le with |people. |
|00004ad0| 41 6e 20 6f 62 6a 65 63 | 74 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 66 |An objec|t will f|
|00004ae0| 61 6c 6c 20 73 6f 20 61 | 73 20 74 6f 20 64 6f 20 |all so a|s to do |
|00004af0| 74 68 65 20 6d 6f 73 74 | 20 64 61 6d 61 67 65 2e |the most| damage.|
|00004b00| 20 42 65 66 6f 72 65 20 | 79 6f 75 20 6d 65 74 20 | Before |you met |
|00004b10| 61 6e 79 20 68 61 6e 64 | 73 6f 6d 65 20 70 72 69 |any hand|some pri|
|00004b20| 6e 63 65 2c 20 79 6f 75 | 20 68 61 76 65 20 74 6f |nce, you| have to|
|00004b30| 20 6b 69 73 73 20 61 20 | 6c 6f 74 20 6f 66 20 74 | kiss a |lot of t|
|00004b40| 6f 61 64 73 2e 20 49 66 | 20 79 6f 75 20 63 61 6e |oads. If| you can|
|00004b50| 20 74 65 6c 6c 20 74 68 | 65 20 64 69 66 66 65 72 | tell th|e differ|
|00004b60| 65 6e 63 65 20 62 65 74 | 77 65 65 6e 20 67 6f 6f |ence bet|ween goo|
|00004b70| 64 20 61 64 76 69 63 65 | 20 61 6e 64 20 62 61 64 |d advice| and bad|
|00004b80| 20 61 64 76 69 63 65 2c | 20 79 6f 75 20 64 6f 6e | advice,| you don|
|00004b90| 27 74 20 6e 65 65 64 20 | 61 64 76 69 63 65 2e 20 |'t need |advice. |
|00004ba0| 59 6f 75 20 63 61 6e 20 | 6e 65 76 65 72 20 74 65 |You can |never te|
|00004bb0| 6c 6c 20 77 68 69 63 68 | 20 77 61 79 20 74 68 65 |ll which| way the|
|00004bc0| 20 74 72 61 69 6e 20 77 | 65 6e 74 20 62 79 20 6c | train w|ent by l|
|00004bd0| 6f 6f 6b 69 6e 67 20 61 | 74 20 74 68 65 20 74 72 |ooking a|t the tr|
|00004be0| 61 63 6b 2e 20 47 65 6e | 65 72 61 6c 20 73 6f 6c |ack. Gen|eral sol|
|00004bf0| 75 74 69 6f 6e 73 20 74 | 6f 20 73 70 65 63 69 66 |utions t|o specif|
|00004c00| 69 63 20 70 72 6f 62 6c | 65 6d 73 20 62 65 63 6f |ic probl|ems beco|
|00004c10| 6d 65 20 73 70 65 63 69 | 66 69 63 20 70 72 6f 62 |me speci|fic prob|
|00004c20| 6c 65 6d 73 20 72 65 71 | 75 69 72 69 6e 67 20 67 |lems req|uiring g|
|00004c30| 65 6e 65 72 61 6c 20 73 | 6f 6c 75 74 69 6f 6e 73 |eneral s|olutions|
|00004c40| 2e 20 49 66 20 79 6f 75 | 20 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 63 |. If you| don't c|
|00004c50| 61 72 65 20 77 68 65 72 | 65 20 79 6f 75 20 61 72 |are wher|e you ar|
|00004c60| 65 2c 20 79 6f 75 27 72 | 65 20 6e 6f 74 20 6c 6f |e, you'r|e not lo|
|00004c70| 73 74 2e 20 54 65 6c 6c | 20 61 20 6d 61 6e 20 74 |st. Tell| a man t|
|00004c80| 68 65 72 65 20 61 72 65 | 20 33 30 30 20 62 69 6c |here are| 300 bil|
|00004c90| 6c 69 6f 6e 20 73 74 61 | 72 73 20 69 6e 20 74 68 |lion sta|rs in th|
|00004ca0| 65 20 75 6e 69 76 65 72 | 73 65 20 61 6e 64 20 68 |e univer|se and h|
|00004cb0| 65 27 6c 6c 20 62 65 6c | 69 65 76 65 20 79 6f 75 |e'll bel|ieve you|
|00004cc0| 2e 20 54 65 6c 6c 20 68 | 69 6d 20 61 20 62 65 6e |. Tell h|im a ben|
|00004cd0| 63 68 20 68 61 73 20 77 | 65 74 20 70 61 69 6e 74 |ch has w|et paint|
|00004ce0| 20 6f 6e 20 69 74 20 61 | 6e 64 20 68 65 27 6c 6c | on it a|nd he'll|
|00004cf0| 20 68 61 76 65 20 74 6f | 20 74 6f 75 63 68 20 74 | have to| touch t|
|00004d00| 6f 20 62 65 20 73 75 72 | 65 2e 20 47 72 61 62 20 |o be sur|e. Grab |
|00004d10| 74 68 65 6d 20 62 79 20 | 74 68 65 20 62 61 6c 6c |them by |the ball|
|00004d20| 73 3b 20 74 68 65 20 68 | 65 61 72 74 73 20 61 6e |s; the h|earts an|
|00004d30| 64 20 6d 69 6e 64 73 20 | 77 69 6c 6c 20 66 6f 6c |d minds |will fol|
|00004d40| 6c 6f 77 2e 20 54 68 65 | 20 73 6f 6c 75 74 69 6f |low. The| solutio|
|00004d50| 6e 20 74 6f 20 61 20 70 | 72 6f 62 6c 65 6d 20 63 |n to a p|roblem c|
|00004d60| 68 61 6e 67 65 73 20 74 | 68 65 20 6e 61 74 75 72 |hanges t|he natur|
|00004d70| 65 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 | 20 70 72 6f 62 6c 65 6d |e of the| problem|
|00004d80| 2e 20 54 68 65 20 6c 69 | 67 68 74 20 61 74 20 74 |. The li|ght at t|
|00004d90| 68 65 20 65 6e 64 20 6f | 66 20 74 68 65 20 74 75 |he end o|f the tu|
|00004da0| 6e 6e 65 6c 20 63 6f 75 | 6c 64 20 74 75 72 6e 20 |nnel cou|ld turn |
|00004db0| 6f 75 74 20 74 6f 20 62 | 65 20 74 68 65 20 68 65 |out to b|e the he|
|00004dc0| 61 64 6c 69 67 68 74 20 | 6f 66 20 61 6e 20 6f 6e |adlight |of an on|
|00004dd0| 63 6f 6d 69 6e 67 20 74 | 72 61 69 6e 2e 20 4e 65 |coming t|rain. Ne|
|00004de0| 76 65 72 20 6c 65 74 20 | 79 6f 75 72 20 73 65 6e |ver let |your sen|
|00004df0| 73 65 20 6f 66 20 6d 6f | 72 61 6c 73 20 69 6e 74 |se of mo|rals int|
|00004e00| 65 72 66 65 72 65 20 77 | 69 74 68 20 64 6f 69 6e |erfere w|ith doin|
|00004e10| 67 20 74 68 65 20 72 69 | 67 68 74 20 74 68 69 6e |g the ri|ght thin|
|00004e20| 67 2e 42 69 72 74 68 20 | 63 6f 6e 74 72 6f 6c 20 |g.Birth |control |
|00004e30| 69 73 20 61 76 6f 69 64 | 69 6e 67 20 74 68 65 20 |is avoid|ing the |
|00004e40| 69 73 73 75 65 2e 20 43 | 6f 72 72 65 63 74 20 74 |issue. C|orrect t|
|00004e50| 68 65 20 70 72 6f 66 65 | 73 73 6f 72 20 61 74 20 |he profe|ssor at |
|00004e60| 6c 65 61 73 74 20 74 65 | 6e 20 74 69 6d 65 73 20 |least te|n times |
|00004e70| 6f 6e 20 74 68 65 20 70 | 72 6f 6e 75 6e 63 69 61 |on the p|ronuncia|
|00004e80| 74 69 6f 6e 20 6f 66 20 | 79 6f 75 72 20 6e 61 6d |tion of |your nam|
|00004e90| 65 2c 20 65 76 65 6e 20 | 69 74 27 73 20 53 6d 69 |e, even |it's Smi|
|00004ea0| 74 68 2e 20 43 6c 61 69 | 6d 20 74 68 61 74 20 74 |th. Clai|m that t|
|00004eb0| 68 65 20 69 20 69 73 20 | 73 69 6c 65 6e 74 2e 53 |he i is |silent.S|
|00004ec0| 69 74 20 69 6e 20 74 68 | 65 20 66 72 6f 6e 74 20 |it in th|e front |
|00004ed0| 72 6f 77 20 72 65 61 64 | 69 6e 67 20 74 68 65 20 |row read|ing the |
|00004ee0| 70 72 6f 66 65 73 73 6f | 72 27 73 20 67 72 61 64 |professo|r's grad|
|00004ef0| 75 61 74 65 20 74 68 65 | 73 69 73 20 61 6e 64 20 |uate the|sis and |
|00004f00| 73 6e 69 63 6b 65 72 69 | 6e 67 2e 41 73 20 73 6f |snickeri|ng.As so|
|00004f10| 6f 6e 20 61 73 20 74 68 | 65 20 66 69 72 73 74 20 |on as th|e first |
|00004f20| 62 65 6c 6c 20 72 69 6e | 67 73 2c 20 76 6f 6c 75 |bell rin|gs, volu|
|00004f30| 6e 74 65 65 72 20 74 6f | 20 70 75 74 20 61 20 70 |nteer to| put a p|
|00004f40| 72 6f 62 6c 65 6d 20 6f | 6e 20 74 68 65 20 62 6f |roblem o|n the bo|
|00004f50| 61 72 64 2e 20 49 67 6e | 6f 72 65 20 74 68 65 20 |ard. Ign|ore the |
|00004f60| 70 72 6f 66 65 73 73 6f | 72 27 73 20 72 65 70 6c |professo|r's repl|
|00004f70| 79 20 61 6e 64 20 70 72 | 6f 63 65 65 64 20 74 6f |y and pr|oceed to|
|00004f80| 20 64 6f 20 73 6f 20 61 | 6e 79 77 61 79 2e 43 6c | do so a|nyway.Cl|
|00004f90| 61 69 6d 20 74 68 61 74 | 20 79 6f 75 20 77 72 6f |aim that| you wro|
|00004fa0| 74 65 20 74 68 65 20 63 | 6c 61 73 73 20 74 65 78 |te the c|lass tex|
|00004fb0| 74 20 62 6f 6f 6b 2e 43 | 6c 61 69 6d 20 74 6f 20 |t book.C|laim to |
|00004fc0| 62 65 20 74 68 65 20 74 | 65 61 63 68 69 6e 67 20 |be the t|eaching |
|00004fd0| 61 73 73 69 73 74 61 6e | 74 2e 20 49 66 20 74 68 |assistan|t. If th|
|00004fe0| 65 20 72 65 61 6c 20 6f | 6e 65 20 6f 62 6a 65 63 |e real o|ne objec|
|00004ff0| 74 73 2c 20 6a 75 6d 70 | 20 75 70 20 61 6e 64 20 |ts, jump| up and |
|00005000| 73 63 72 65 61 6d 20 27 | 49 6d 70 6f 73 74 65 72 |scream '|Imposter|
|00005010| 21 27 53 70 65 6e 64 20 | 74 68 65 20 6c 65 63 74 |!'Spend |the lect|
|00005020| 75 72 65 20 62 6c 6f 77 | 69 6e 67 20 6b 69 73 73 |ure blow|ing kiss|
|00005030| 65 73 20 74 6f 20 6f 74 | 68 65 72 20 73 74 75 64 |es to ot|her stud|
|00005040| 65 6e 74 73 2e 45 76 65 | 72 79 20 66 65 77 20 6d |ents.Eve|ry few m|
|00005050| 69 6e 75 74 65 73 2c 20 | 74 61 6b 65 20 61 20 73 |inutes, |take a s|
|00005060| 68 65 65 74 20 6f 66 20 | 6e 6f 74 65 62 6f 6f 6b |heet of |notebook|
|00005070| 20 70 61 70 65 72 2c 20 | 77 72 69 74 65 20 27 53 | paper, |write 'S|
|00005080| 69 67 6e 75 70 20 53 68 | 65 65 74 20 23 35 27 20 |ignup Sh|eet #5' |
|00005090| 61 74 20 74 68 65 20 74 | 6f 70 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 |at the t|op, and |
|000050a0| 73 74 61 72 74 20 70 61 | 73 73 69 6e 67 20 69 74 |start pa|ssing it|
|000050b0| 20 61 72 6f 75 6e 64 20 | 74 68 65 20 72 6f 6f 6d | around |the room|
|000050c0| 2e 53 74 61 6e 64 20 74 | 6f 20 61 73 6b 20 71 75 |.Stand t|o ask qu|
|000050d0| 65 73 74 69 6f 6e 73 2e | 20 42 6f 77 20 64 65 65 |estions.| Bow dee|
|000050e0| 70 6c 79 20 62 65 66 6f | 72 65 20 74 61 6b 69 6e |ply befo|re takin|
|000050f0| 67 20 79 6f 75 72 20 73 | 65 61 74 20 61 66 74 65 |g your s|eat afte|
|00005100| 72 20 74 68 65 20 70 72 | 6f 66 65 73 73 6f 72 20 |r the pr|ofessor |
|00005110| 61 6e 73 77 65 72 73 2e | 57 65 61 72 20 61 20 63 |answers.|Wear a c|
|00005120| 61 70 65 20 77 69 74 68 | 20 61 20 62 69 67 20 53 |ape with| a big S|
|00005130| 20 6f 6e 20 69 74 2e 20 | 49 6e 66 6f 72 6d 20 63 | on it. |Inform c|
|00005140| 6c 61 73 73 6d 61 74 65 | 73 20 74 68 61 74 20 74 |lassmate|s that t|
|00005150| 68 65 20 53 73 74 61 6e | 64 73 20 66 6f 72 20 27 |he Sstan|ds for '|
|00005160| 73 74 75 64 27 2e 49 6e | 74 65 72 72 75 70 74 20 |stud'.In|terrupt |
|00005170| 65 76 65 72 79 20 66 65 | 77 20 6d 69 6e 75 74 65 |every fe|w minute|
|00005180| 73 20 74 6f 20 61 73 6b | 20 74 68 65 20 70 72 6f |s to ask| the pro|
|00005190| 66 65 73 73 6f 72 2c 20 | 27 43 61 6e 20 79 6f 75 |fessor, |'Can you|
|000051a0| 20 73 70 65 6c 6c 20 74 | 68 61 74 3f 27 44 69 73 | spell t|hat?'Dis|
|000051b0| 61 73 73 65 6d 62 6c 65 | 20 79 6f 75 72 20 70 65 |assemble| your pe|
|000051c0| 6e 2e 20 27 41 63 63 69 | 64 65 6e 74 6c 79 27 20 |n. 'Acci|dently' |
|000051d0| 70 72 6f 70 65 6c 20 70 | 69 65 63 65 73 20 61 63 |propel p|ieces ac|
|000051e0| 72 6f 73 73 20 74 68 65 | 20 72 6f 6f 6d 20 77 68 |ross the| room wh|
|000051f0| 69 6c 65 20 70 6c 61 79 | 69 6e 67 20 77 69 74 68 |ile play|ing with|
|00005200| 20 74 68 65 20 73 70 72 | 69 6e 67 2e 20 47 6f 20 | the spr|ing. Go |
|00005210| 6f 6e 20 66 75 72 74 69 | 76 65 20 65 78 70 65 64 |on furti|ve exped|
|00005220| 69 74 69 6f 6e 73 20 74 | 6f 20 72 65 74 72 69 65 |itions t|o retrie|
|00005230| 76 65 20 74 68 65 20 70 | 69 65 63 65 73 2e 20 52 |ve the p|ieces. R|
|00005240| 65 70 65 61 74 2e 57 69 | 6e 6b 20 61 74 20 74 68 |epeat.Wi|nk at th|
|00005250| 65 20 70 72 6f 66 65 73 | 73 6f 72 20 65 76 65 72 |e profes|sor ever|
|00005260| 79 20 66 65 77 20 6d 69 | 6e 75 74 65 73 2e 49 6e |y few mi|nutes.In|
|00005270| 20 74 68 65 20 6d 69 64 | 64 6c 65 20 6f 66 20 6c | the mid|dle of l|
|00005280| 65 63 74 75 72 65 2c 20 | 61 73 6b 20 79 6f 75 72 |ecture, |ask your|
|00005290| 20 70 72 6f 66 65 73 73 | 6f 72 20 77 68 65 74 68 | profess|or wheth|
|000052a0| 65 72 20 68 65 20 62 65 | 6c 69 65 76 65 73 20 69 |er he be|lieves i|
|000052b0| 6e 20 67 68 6f 73 74 73 | 2e 4c 61 75 67 68 20 68 |n ghosts|.Laugh h|
|000052c0| 65 61 72 74 69 6c 79 20 | 61 74 20 65 76 65 72 79 |eartily |at every|
|000052d0| 74 68 69 6e 67 20 74 68 | 65 20 70 72 6f 66 65 73 |thing th|e profes|
|000052e0| 73 6f 72 20 73 61 79 73 | 2e 20 53 6e 6f 72 74 20 |sor says|. Snort |
|000052f0| 77 68 65 6e 20 79 6f 75 | 20 6c 61 75 67 68 2e 57 |when you| laugh.W|
|00005300| 65 61 72 20 61 20 62 6c | 61 63 6b 20 68 6f 6f 64 |ear a bl|ack hood|
|00005310| 65 64 20 63 6c 6f 61 6b | 20 74 6f 20 63 6c 61 73 |ed cloak| to clas|
|00005320| 73 20 61 6e 64 20 72 69 | 6e 67 20 61 20 62 65 6c |s and ri|ng a bel|
|00005330| 6c 2e 41 73 6b 20 79 6f | 75 72 20 6d 61 74 68 20 |l.Ask yo|ur math |
|00005340| 70 72 6f 66 65 73 73 6f | 72 20 74 6f 20 70 75 6c |professo|r to pul|
|00005350| 6c 20 74 68 65 20 72 6f | 6c 6c 20 63 68 61 72 74 |l the ro|ll chart|
|00005360| 20 61 62 6f 76 65 20 74 | 68 65 20 62 6c 61 63 6b | above t|he black|
|00005370| 62 6f 61 72 64 20 6f 66 | 20 61 6e 63 69 65 6e 74 |board of| ancient|
|00005380| 20 47 72 65 65 6b 20 74 | 72 61 64 65 20 72 6f 75 | Greek t|rade rou|
|00005390| 74 65 73 20 64 6f 77 6e | 20 66 61 72 74 68 65 72 |tes down| farther|
|000053a0| 20 62 65 63 61 75 73 65 | 20 79 6f 75 20 63 61 6e | because| you can|
|000053b0| 27 74 20 73 65 65 20 4d | 61 63 65 64 6f 6e 69 61 |'t see M|acedonia|
|000053c0| 2e 27 49 20 61 6c 77 61 | 79 73 20 77 61 6e 74 65 |.'I alwa|ys wante|
|000053d0| 64 20 74 6f 20 62 65 20 | 73 6f 6d 65 62 6f 64 79 |d to be |somebody|
|000053e0| 2c 20 62 75 74 20 49 20 | 73 68 6f 75 6c 64 20 68 |, but I |should h|
|000053f0| 61 76 65 20 62 65 65 6e | 20 6d 6f 72 65 20 73 70 |ave been| more sp|
|00005400| 65 63 69 66 69 63 2e 27 | 20 4c 69 6c 79 20 54 6f |ecific.'| Lily To|
|00005410| 6d 6c 69 6e 27 49 66 20 | 65 76 65 72 79 74 68 69 |mlin'If |everythi|
|00005420| 6e 67 20 73 65 65 6d 73 | 20 75 6e 64 65 72 20 63 |ng seems| under c|
|00005430| 6f 6e 74 72 6f 6c 2c 20 | 79 6f 75 27 72 65 20 6a |ontrol, |you're j|
|00005440| 75 73 74 20 6e 6f 74 20 | 67 6f 69 6e 67 20 66 61 |ust not |going fa|
|00005450| 73 74 20 65 6e 6f 75 67 | 68 2e 27 20 4d 61 72 69 |st enoug|h.' Mari|
|00005460| 6f 20 41 6e 64 72 65 74 | 74 69 27 45 61 67 6c 65 |o Andret|ti'Eagle|
|00005470| 73 20 6d 61 79 20 66 6c | 79 2c 20 62 75 74 20 77 |s may fl|y, but w|
|00005480| 65 61 73 65 6c 73 20 64 | 6f 6e 60 74 20 67 65 74 |easels d|on`t get|
|00005490| 20 73 75 63 6b 65 64 20 | 69 6e 74 6f 20 6a 65 74 | sucked |into jet|
|000054a0| 20 65 6e 67 69 6e 65 73 | 2e 27 20 4e 69 63 6b 20 | engines|.' Nick |
|000054b0| 46 6c 75 67 61 75 72 27 | 49 20 74 68 69 6e 6b 20 |Flugaur'|I think |
|000054c0| 61 6e 69 6d 61 6c 20 74 | 65 73 74 69 6e 67 20 69 |animal t|esting i|
|000054d0| 73 20 61 20 74 65 72 72 | 69 62 6c 65 20 69 64 65 |s a terr|ible ide|
|000054e0| 61 3b 20 74 68 65 79 20 | 67 65 74 20 61 6c 6c 20 |a; they |get all |
|000054f0| 6e 65 72 76 6f 75 73 20 | 61 6e 64 20 67 69 76 65 |nervous |and give|
|00005500| 20 74 68 65 20 77 72 6f | 6e 67 20 61 6e 73 77 65 | the wro|ng answe|
|00005510| 72 73 2e 27 27 44 6f 6e | 60 74 20 61 63 63 65 70 |rs.''Don|`t accep|
|00005520| 74 20 72 69 64 65 73 20 | 66 72 6f 6d 20 73 74 72 |t rides |from str|
|00005530| 61 6e 67 65 20 6d 65 6e | 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 72 65 |ange men|, and re|
|00005540| 6d 65 6d 62 65 72 20 74 | 68 61 74 20 61 6c 6c 20 |member t|hat all |
|00005550| 6d 65 6e 20 61 72 65 20 | 73 74 72 61 6e 67 65 2e |men are |strange.|
|00005560| 27 20 52 6f 62 69 6e 20 | 4d 6f 72 67 61 6e 27 53 |' Robin |Morgan'S|
|00005570| 6d 6f 6b 69 6e 67 20 6b | 69 6c 6c 73 2c 20 61 6e |moking k|ills, an|
|00005580| 64 20 69 66 20 79 6f 75 | 60 72 65 20 6b 69 6c 6c |d if you|`re kill|
|00005590| 65 64 2c 20 79 6f 75 60 | 76 65 20 6c 6f 73 74 20 |ed, you`|ve lost |
|000055a0| 61 20 76 65 72 79 20 69 | 6d 70 6f 72 74 61 6e 74 |a very i|mportant|
|000055b0| 20 70 61 72 74 20 6f 66 | 20 79 6f 75 72 20 6c 69 | part of| your li|
|000055c0| 66 65 2e 27 42 72 6f 6f | 6b 65 20 53 68 69 65 6c |fe.'Broo|ke Shiel|
|000055d0| 64 73 2c 20 74 72 79 69 | 6e 67 20 74 6f 20 65 78 |ds, tryi|ng to ex|
|000055e0| 70 6c 61 69 6e 20 77 68 | 79 20 73 6d 6f 6b 69 6e |plain wh|y smokin|
|000055f0| 67 20 69 73 20 62 61 64 | 2e 27 49 66 20 49 20 77 |g is bad|.'If I w|
|00005600| 65 72 65 20 74 77 6f 2d | 66 61 63 65 64 2c 20 77 |ere two-|faced, w|
|00005610| 6f 75 6c 64 20 49 20 62 | 65 20 77 65 61 72 69 6e |ould I b|e wearin|
|00005620| 67 20 74 68 69 73 20 6f | 6e 65 3f 27 41 62 72 61 |g this o|ne?'Abra|
|00005630| 68 61 6d 20 4c 69 6e 63 | 6f 6c 6e 27 56 6f 74 65 |ham Linc|oln'Vote|
|00005640| 20 65 61 72 6c 79 20 61 | 6e 64 20 76 6f 74 65 20 | early a|nd vote |
|00005650| 6f 66 74 65 6e 2e 27 41 | 6c 20 43 61 70 6f 6e 65 |often.'A|l Capone|
|00005660| 59 6f 75 20 63 61 6e 6e | 6f 74 20 74 65 6c 6c 20 |You cann|ot tell |
|00005670| 68 6f 77 20 64 65 65 70 | 20 61 20 70 75 64 64 6c |how deep| a puddl|
|00005680| 65 20 69 73 20 75 6e 74 | 69 6c 20 79 6f 75 20 73 |e is unt|il you s|
|00005690| 74 65 70 20 69 6e 20 69 | 74 2e 20 45 76 65 72 79 |tep in i|t. Every|
|000056a0| 62 6f 64 79 20 69 6e 20 | 74 68 65 20 72 6f 6f 6d |body in |the room|
|000056b0| 20 77 61 73 20 74 68 65 | 72 65 2e 20 54 68 65 20 | was the|re. The |
|000056c0| 6c 61 6b 65 20 63 6f 6d | 65 73 20 72 69 67 68 74 |lake com|es right|
|000056d0| 20 74 6f 20 74 68 65 20 | 73 68 6f 72 65 2e 20 59 | to the |shore. Y|
|000056e0| 6f 75 20 63 61 6e 6e 6f | 74 20 73 69 6e 6b 20 73 |ou canno|t sink s|
|000056f0| 6f 6d 65 6f 6e 65 20 65 | 6c 73 65 27 73 20 65 6e |omeone e|lse's en|
|00005700| 64 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 | 20 62 6f 61 74 20 61 6e |d of the| boat an|
|00005710| 64 20 73 74 69 6c 6c 20 | 6b 65 65 70 20 79 6f 75 |d still |keep you|
|00005720| 72 20 6f 77 6e 20 61 66 | 6c 6f 61 74 2e 20 4d 61 |r own af|loat. Ma|
|00005730| 6e 79 20 6f 66 20 75 73 | 20 62 65 6c 69 65 76 65 |ny of us| believe|
|00005740| 20 74 68 61 74 20 77 72 | 6f 6e 67 73 20 61 72 65 | that wr|ongs are|
|00005750| 6e 27 74 20 77 72 6f 6e | 67 20 69 66 20 69 74 27 |n't wron|g if it'|
|00005760| 73 20 64 6f 6e 65 20 62 | 79 20 6e 69 63 65 20 70 |s done b|y nice p|
|00005770| 65 6f 70 6c 65 20 6c 69 | 6b 65 20 6f 75 72 73 65 |eople li|ke ourse|
|00005780| 6c 76 65 73 2e 20 41 20 | 64 65 73 6b 20 69 73 20 |lves. A |desk is |
|00005790| 61 20 77 61 73 74 65 62 | 61 73 6b 65 74 20 77 69 |a wasteb|asket wi|
|000057a0| 74 68 20 64 72 61 77 65 | 72 73 2e 20 41 20 64 69 |th drawe|rs. A di|
|000057b0| 70 6c 6f 6d 61 74 20 69 | 73 20 73 6f 6d 65 6f 6e |plomat i|s someon|
|000057c0| 65 20 77 68 6f 20 63 61 | 6e 20 74 65 6c 6c 20 79 |e who ca|n tell y|
|000057d0| 6f 75 20 74 6f 20 67 6f | 20 74 6f 20 68 65 6c 6c |ou to go| to hell|
|000057e0| 20 69 6e 20 73 75 63 68 | 20 61 20 77 61 79 20 74 | in such| a way t|
|000057f0| 68 61 74 20 79 6f 75 20 | 77 69 6c 6c 20 6c 6f 6f |hat you |will loo|
|00005800| 6b 20 66 6f 72 77 61 72 | 64 20 74 6f 20 74 68 65 |k forwar|d to the|
|00005810| 20 74 72 69 70 2e 20 41 | 20 6d 61 6e 20 77 68 6f | trip. A| man who|
|00005820| 20 63 61 72 72 69 65 73 | 20 61 20 63 61 74 20 62 | carries| a cat b|
|00005830| 79 20 74 68 65 20 74 61 | 69 6c 20 6c 65 61 72 6e |y the ta|il learn|
|00005840| 73 20 73 6f 6d 65 74 68 | 69 6e 67 20 68 65 20 63 |s someth|ing he c|
|00005850| 61 6e 20 6c 65 61 72 6e | 20 69 6e 20 6e 6f 20 6f |an learn| in no o|
|00005860| 74 68 65 72 20 77 61 79 | 2e 20 57 65 20 61 72 65 |ther way|. We are|
|00005870| 20 74 68 65 20 70 65 6f | 70 6c 65 20 6f 75 72 20 | the peo|ple our |
|00005880| 70 61 72 65 6e 74 73 20 | 77 61 72 6e 65 64 20 75 |parents |warned u|
|00005890| 73 20 61 67 61 69 6e 73 | 74 2e 20 4e 6f 74 68 69 |s agains|t. Nothi|
|000058a0| 6e 67 20 69 73 20 71 75 | 69 74 65 20 73 6f 20 61 |ng is qu|ite so a|
|000058b0| 6e 6e 6f 79 69 6e 67 20 | 74 6f 20 68 61 76 65 20 |nnoying |to have |
|000058c0| 73 6f 6d 65 6f 6e 65 20 | 67 6f 20 72 69 67 68 74 |someone |go right|
|000058d0| 20 6f 6e 20 74 61 6c 6b | 69 6e 67 20 77 68 65 6e | on talk|ing when|
|000058e0| 20 79 6f 75 27 72 65 20 | 69 6e 74 65 72 72 75 70 | you're |interrup|
|000058f0| 74 69 6e 67 2e 20 49 66 | 20 61 74 20 66 69 72 73 |ting. If| at firs|
|00005900| 74 20 79 6f 75 20 64 6f | 6e 27 74 20 73 75 63 63 |t you do|n't succ|
|00005910| 65 65 64 20 2d 20 73 6f | 20 6d 75 63 68 20 66 6f |eed - so| much fo|
|00005920| 72 20 73 6b 79 64 69 76 | 69 6e 67 2e 20 54 68 65 |r skydiv|ing. The|
|00005930| 20 64 65 76 69 6c 20 66 | 69 6e 64 73 20 77 6f 72 | devil f|inds wor|
|00005940| 6b 20 66 6f 72 20 69 64 | 6c 65 20 67 6c 61 6e 64 |k for id|le gland|
|00005950| 73 2e 20 54 68 65 20 62 | 65 73 74 20 77 61 79 20 |s. The b|est way |
|00005960| 74 6f 20 66 6f 72 67 65 | 74 20 79 6f 75 72 20 70 |to forge|t your p|
|00005970| 72 6f 62 6c 65 6d 20 69 | 73 20 74 6f 20 68 65 6c |roblem i|s to hel|
|00005980| 70 20 73 6f 6d 65 6f 6e | 65 20 65 6c 73 65 20 77 |p someon|e else w|
|00005990| 69 74 68 20 74 68 65 69 | 72 73 2e 20 42 6c 65 73 |ith thei|rs. Bles|
|000059a0| 73 65 64 20 69 73 20 68 | 65 20 77 68 6f 20 65 78 |sed is h|e who ex|
|000059b0| 70 65 63 74 73 20 6e 6f | 74 68 69 6e 67 2c 20 66 |pects no|thing, f|
|000059c0| 6f 72 20 68 65 20 73 68 | 61 6c 6c 20 6e 65 76 65 |or he sh|all neve|
|000059d0| 72 20 62 65 20 64 69 73 | 61 70 70 6f 69 6e 74 65 |r be dis|appointe|
|000059e0| 64 2e 20 57 68 65 6e 20 | 69 74 20 63 6f 6d 65 73 |d. When |it comes|
|000059f0| 20 74 6f 20 67 69 76 69 | 6e 67 2c 20 73 6f 6d 65 | to givi|ng, some|
|00005a00| 20 70 65 6f 70 6c 65 20 | 73 74 6f 70 20 61 74 20 | people |stop at |
|00005a10| 6e 6f 74 68 69 6e 67 2e | 20 50 65 6f 70 6c 65 20 |nothing.| People |
|00005a20| 61 73 6b 20 73 74 75 70 | 69 64 20 71 75 65 73 74 |ask stup|id quest|
|00005a30| 69 6f 6e 73 20 66 6f 72 | 20 61 20 72 65 61 73 6f |ions for| a reaso|
|00005a40| 6e 2e 20 47 6f 6f 64 20 | 6a 75 64 67 65 6d 65 6e |n. Good |judgemen|
|00005a50| 74 20 63 6f 6d 65 73 20 | 66 72 6f 6d 20 65 78 70 |t comes |from exp|
|00005a60| 65 72 69 65 6e 63 65 3b | 20 65 78 70 65 72 69 65 |erience;| experie|
|00005a70| 6e 63 65 20 63 6f 6d 65 | 73 20 66 72 6f 6d 20 62 |nce come|s from b|
|00005a80| 61 64 20 6a 75 64 67 65 | 6d 65 6e 74 2e 20 48 65 |ad judge|ment. He|
|00005a90| 20 77 68 6f 20 61 74 74 | 61 63 6b 73 20 6d 75 73 | who att|acks mus|
|00005aa0| 74 20 76 61 6e 71 75 69 | 73 68 3b 20 68 65 20 77 |t vanqui|sh; he w|
|00005ab0| 68 6f 20 64 65 66 65 6e | 64 73 20 6d 75 73 74 20 |ho defen|ds must |
|00005ac0| 6d 65 72 65 6c 79 20 73 | 75 72 76 69 76 65 2e 20 |merely s|urvive. |
|00005ad0| 45 78 70 65 72 69 65 6e | 63 65 20 69 73 20 77 68 |Experien|ce is wh|
|00005ae0| 61 74 20 79 6f 75 20 67 | 65 74 20 77 68 65 6e 20 |at you g|et when |
|00005af0| 79 6f 75 20 64 69 64 6e | 27 74 20 67 65 74 20 77 |you didn|'t get w|
|00005b00| 68 61 74 20 79 6f 75 20 | 77 61 6e 74 65 64 2e 20 |hat you |wanted. |
|00005b10| 49 27 64 20 67 69 76 65 | 20 6d 79 20 72 69 67 68 |I'd give| my righ|
|00005b20| 74 20 61 72 6d 20 74 6f | 20 62 65 20 61 6d 62 69 |t arm to| be ambi|
|00005b30| 64 65 78 74 72 6f 75 73 | 2e 49 66 20 79 6f 75 72 |dextrous|.If your|
|00005b40| 20 70 61 72 65 6e 74 73 | 20 64 69 64 6e 27 74 20 | parents| didn't |
|00005b50| 68 61 76 65 20 63 68 69 | 6c 64 72 65 6e 2c 20 6f |have chi|ldren, o|
|00005b60| 64 64 73 20 61 72 65 20 | 79 6f 75 20 77 6f 6e 27 |dds are |you won'|
|00005b70| 74 20 65 69 74 68 65 72 | 2e 20 49 66 20 79 6f 75 |t either|. If you|
|00005b80| 20 68 61 76 65 20 74 6f | 20 74 65 6c 6c 20 70 65 | have to| tell pe|
|00005b90| 6f 70 6c 65 20 79 6f 75 | 27 72 65 20 66 61 6d 6f |ople you|'re famo|
|00005ba0| 75 73 20 2d 20 79 6f 75 | 20 61 72 65 6e 27 74 2e |us - you| aren't.|
|00005bb0| 20 59 6f 75 20 63 61 6e | 20 66 6f 6f 6c 20 73 6f | You can| fool so|
|00005bc0| 6d 65 20 6f 66 20 74 68 | 65 20 70 65 6f 70 6c 65 |me of th|e people|
|00005bd0| 20 61 6c 6c 20 6f 66 20 | 74 68 65 20 74 69 6d 65 | all of |the time|
|00005be0| 20 61 6e 64 20 61 6c 6c | 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 | and all| of the |
|00005bf0| 70 65 6f 70 6c 65 20 73 | 6f 6d 65 20 6f 66 20 74 |people s|ome of t|
|00005c00| 68 65 20 74 69 6d 65 2c | 20 61 6e 64 20 74 68 61 |he time,| and tha|
|00005c10| 74 27 73 20 73 75 66 66 | 69 63 69 65 6e 74 2e 20 |t's suff|icient. |
|00005c20| 41 20 53 6d 69 74 68 20 | 26 20 57 65 73 73 6f 6e |A Smith |& Wesson|
|00005c30| 20 62 65 61 74 73 20 66 | 6f 75 72 20 61 63 65 73 | beats f|our aces|
|00005c40| 2e 20 54 68 65 20 6c 61 | 63 6b 20 6f 66 20 6d 6f |. The la|ck of mo|
|00005c50| 6e 65 79 20 69 73 20 74 | 68 65 20 72 6f 6f 74 20 |ney is t|he root |
|00005c60| 6f 66 20 61 6c 6c 20 65 | 76 69 6c 2e 20 41 20 6d |of all e|vil. A m|
|00005c70| 61 72 6b 73 6d 61 6e 20 | 69 73 20 6f 6e 65 20 77 |arksman |is one w|
|00005c80| 68 6f 20 73 68 6f 6f 74 | 73 20 66 69 72 73 74 2c |ho shoot|s first,|
|00005c90| 20 61 6e 64 20 77 68 61 | 74 65 76 65 72 20 68 65 | and wha|tever he|
|00005ca0| 20 68 69 74 73 2c 20 68 | 65 20 63 61 6c 6c 73 20 | hits, h|e calls |
|00005cb0| 74 68 65 20 74 61 72 67 | 65 74 2e 20 49 66 20 69 |the targ|et. If i|
|00005cc0| 74 20 69 73 20 77 6f 72 | 74 68 20 66 69 67 68 74 |t is wor|th fight|
|00005cd0| 69 6e 67 20 66 6f 72 2c | 20 69 74 20 69 73 20 77 |ing for,| it is w|
|00005ce0| 6f 72 74 68 20 66 69 67 | 68 74 69 6e 67 20 64 69 |orth fig|hting di|
|00005cf0| 72 74 79 20 66 6f 72 2e | 20 59 6f 75 20 63 61 6e |rty for.| You can|
|00005d00| 27 74 20 74 68 72 75 73 | 74 20 79 6f 75 72 20 68 |'t thrus|t your h|
|00005d10| 61 6e 64 73 20 64 65 65 | 70 6c 79 20 69 6e 74 6f |ands dee|ply into|
|00005d20| 20 79 6f 75 72 20 70 6f | 63 6b 65 74 73 20 69 66 | your po|ckets if|
|00005d30| 20 74 68 65 20 68 6f 6c | 65 73 20 69 6e 20 74 68 | the hol|es in th|
|00005d40| 65 6d 20 61 72 65 20 74 | 6f 6f 20 6c 61 72 67 65 |em are t|oo large|
|00005d50| 2e 20 57 68 65 6e 20 79 | 6f 75 20 68 61 76 65 20 |. When y|ou have |
|00005d60| 61 20 62 6f 74 74 6c 65 | 20 6f 66 20 63 68 61 6d |a bottle| of cham|
|00005d70| 70 61 67 6e 65 2c 20 79 | 6f 75 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 |pagne, y|ou will |
|00005d80| 68 61 76 65 20 73 6f 6d | 65 74 68 69 6e 67 20 74 |have som|ething t|
|00005d90| 6f 20 63 65 6c 65 62 72 | 61 74 65 2e 20 4d 6f 64 |o celebr|ate. Mod|
|00005da0| 65 72 61 74 69 6f 6e 20 | 69 73 20 66 6f 72 20 6d |eration |is for m|
|00005db0| 6f 6e 6b 73 2e 20 49 66 | 20 73 6f 6d 65 74 68 69 |onks. If| somethi|
|00005dc0| 6e 67 20 63 61 6e 20 67 | 6f 20 77 72 6f 6e 67 2c |ng can g|o wrong,|
|00005dd0| 20 69 74 20 77 69 6c 6c | 2e 20 49 66 20 73 6f 6d | it will|. If som|
|00005de0| 65 74 68 69 6e 67 20 64 | 6f 65 73 6e 27 74 20 67 |ething d|oesn't g|
|00005df0| 6f 20 77 72 6f 6e 67 2c | 20 69 6e 20 74 68 65 20 |o wrong,| in the |
|00005e00| 65 6e 64 20 69 74 20 77 | 69 6c 6c 20 62 65 20 73 |end it w|ill be s|
|00005e10| 68 6f 77 6e 20 74 68 61 | 74 20 69 74 20 77 6f 75 |hown tha|t it wou|
|00005e20| 6c 64 20 68 61 76 65 20 | 62 65 65 6e 20 75 6c 74 |ld have |been ult|
|00005e30| 69 6d 61 74 65 6c 79 20 | 62 65 6e 65 66 69 63 69 |imately |benefici|
|00005e40| 61 6c 20 66 6f 72 20 69 | 74 20 74 6f 20 68 61 76 |al for i|t to hav|
|00005e50| 65 20 67 6f 6e 65 20 77 | 72 6f 6e 67 2e 20 54 68 |e gone w|rong. Th|
|00005e60| 65 20 61 64 76 61 6e 74 | 61 67 65 20 6f 66 20 62 |e advant|age of b|
|00005e70| 65 69 6e 67 20 61 20 70 | 65 73 73 69 6d 69 73 74 |eing a p|essimist|
|00005e80| 20 69 73 20 74 68 61 74 | 20 61 6c 6c 20 79 6f 75 | is that| all you|
|00005e90| 72 20 73 75 72 70 72 69 | 73 65 73 20 61 72 65 20 |r surpri|ses are |
|00005ea0| 70 6c 65 61 73 61 6e 74 | 2e 20 53 75 69 63 69 64 |pleasant|. Suicid|
|00005eb0| 65 20 69 73 20 63 6f 6e | 66 65 73 73 69 6f 6e 20 |e is con|fession |
|00005ec0| 61 6e 64 20 63 6f 6e 66 | 65 73 73 69 6f 6e 20 69 |and conf|ession i|
|00005ed0| 73 20 73 75 69 63 69 64 | 65 2e 20 54 68 65 20 77 |s suicid|e. The w|
|00005ee0| 61 79 20 74 6f 20 61 20 | 6d 61 6e 27 73 20 68 65 |ay to a |man's he|
|00005ef0| 61 72 74 20 69 73 20 74 | 68 72 6f 75 67 68 20 68 |art is t|hrough h|
|00005f00| 69 73 20 63 68 65 73 74 | 2e 20 41 6e 79 74 68 69 |is chest|. Anythi|
|00005f10| 6e 67 20 64 72 6f 70 70 | 65 64 20 69 6e 20 74 68 |ng dropp|ed in th|
|00005f20| 65 20 62 61 74 68 72 6f | 6f 6d 20 66 61 6c 6c 73 |e bathro|om falls|
|00005f30| 20 69 6e 20 74 68 65 20 | 74 6f 69 6c 65 74 2e 20 | in the |toilet. |
|00005f40| 54 68 65 20 6c 65 73 73 | 20 79 6f 75 20 62 65 74 |The less| you bet|
|00005f50| 2c 20 74 68 65 20 6d 6f | 72 65 20 79 6f 75 20 6c |, the mo|re you l|
|00005f60| 6f 73 65 20 77 68 65 6e | 20 79 6f 75 20 77 69 6e |ose when| you win|
|00005f70| 2e 20 54 68 65 20 73 71 | 75 65 61 6b 79 20 77 68 |. The sq|ueaky wh|
|00005f80| 65 65 6c 20 64 6f 65 73 | 6e 27 74 20 61 6c 77 61 |eel does|n't alwa|
|00005f90| 79 73 20 67 65 74 20 67 | 72 65 61 73 65 64 3b 20 |ys get g|reased; |
|00005fa0| 69 74 20 73 6f 6d 65 74 | 69 6d 65 73 20 67 65 74 |it somet|imes get|
|00005fb0| 73 20 72 65 70 6c 61 63 | 65 64 2e 20 54 68 65 20 |s replac|ed. The |
|00005fc0| 6d 6f 73 74 20 64 69 66 | 66 69 63 75 6c 74 20 74 |most dif|ficult t|
|00005fd0| 68 69 6e 67 20 69 6e 20 | 74 68 65 20 77 6f 72 6c |hing in |the worl|
|00005fe0| 64 20 69 73 20 74 6f 20 | 6b 6e 6f 77 20 68 6f 77 |d is to |know how|
|00005ff0| 20 74 6f 20 64 6f 20 61 | 20 74 68 69 6e 67 20 61 | to do a| thing a|
|00006000| 6e 64 20 74 6f 20 77 61 | 74 63 68 20 73 6f 6d 65 |nd to wa|tch some|
|00006010| 6f 6e 65 20 65 6c 73 65 | 20 64 6f 69 6e 67 20 69 |one else| doing i|
|00006020| 74 20 77 72 6f 6e 67 6c | 79 2c 20 77 69 74 68 6f |t wrongl|y, witho|
|00006030| 75 74 20 63 6f 6d 6d 65 | 6e 74 69 6e 67 2e 20 57 |ut comme|nting. W|
|00006040| 68 65 6e 20 79 6f 75 20 | 73 74 61 72 76 65 20 61 |hen you |starve a|
|00006050| 20 74 69 67 65 72 2c 20 | 74 68 65 20 74 69 67 65 | tiger, |the tige|
|00006060| 72 20 73 74 61 72 76 65 | 73 20 6c 61 73 74 2e 20 |r starve|s last. |
|00006070| 4b 65 65 70 20 79 6f 75 | 72 73 65 6c 66 20 66 72 |Keep you|rself fr|
|00006080| 6f 6d 20 6f 70 70 6f 72 | 74 75 6e 69 74 79 2c 20 |om oppor|tunity, |
|00006090| 61 6e 64 20 47 6f 64 20 | 77 69 6c 6c 20 6b 65 65 |and God |will kee|
|000060a0| 70 20 79 6f 75 20 66 72 | 6f 6d 20 73 69 6e 2e 20 |p you fr|om sin. |
|000060b0| 42 61 73 69 63 61 6c 6c | 79 2c 20 74 68 69 73 20 |Basicall|y, this |
|000060c0| 67 75 79 20 77 61 73 20 | 61 20 73 61 69 6e 74 2c |guy was |a saint,|
|000060d0| 20 73 6f 20 77 65 20 64 | 72 69 6e 6b 2e 4d 69 63 | so we d|rink.Mic|
|000060e0| 68 65 6c 6c 65 20 4d 69 | 63 68 61 65 6c 73 20 6f |helle Mi|chaels o|
|000060f0| 66 20 57 44 56 45 2c 20 | 6f 6e 20 53 74 2e 20 50 |f WDVE, |on St. P|
|00006100| 61 74 72 69 63 6b 27 73 | 20 44 61 79 20 41 20 63 |atrick's| Day A c|
|00006110| 6f 6e 63 6c 75 73 69 6f | 6e 20 69 73 20 6a 75 73 |onclusio|n is jus|
|00006120| 74 20 73 69 6d 70 6c 79 | 20 74 68 65 20 70 6c 61 |t simply| the pla|
|00006130| 63 65 20 77 68 65 72 65 | 20 73 6f 6d 65 6f 6e 65 |ce where| someone|
|00006140| 20 64 65 63 69 64 65 64 | 20 74 6f 20 73 74 6f 70 | decided| to stop|
|00006150| 20 74 68 69 6e 6b 69 6e | 67 2e 4c 6f 76 65 20 2d | thinkin|g.Love -|
|00006160| 20 49 74 27 73 20 61 6c | 6c 20 66 75 6e 20 61 6e | It's al|l fun an|
|00006170| 64 20 67 61 6d 65 73 20 | 74 69 6c 6c 20 73 6f 6d |d games |till som|
|00006180| 65 6f 6e 65 20 6c 6f 73 | 65 73 20 61 6e 20 65 79 |eone los|es an ey|
|00006190| 65 20 6f 72 20 67 65 74 | 73 20 70 72 65 67 6e 61 |e or get|s pregna|
|000061a0| 6e 74 2e 4a 69 6d 20 43 | 6f 6c 65 20 2d 20 63 6f |nt.Jim C|ole - co|
|000061b0| 6c 65 40 77 69 6e 74 65 | 72 6e 65 74 2e 63 6f 6d |le@winte|rnet.com|
|000061c0| 20 4e 6f 62 6f 64 79 20 | 72 65 61 6c 69 7a 65 73 | Nobody |realizes|
|000061d0| 20 74 68 61 74 20 73 6f | 6d 65 20 70 65 6f 70 6c | that so|me peopl|
|000061e0| 65 20 65 78 70 65 6e 64 | 20 74 72 65 6d 65 6e 64 |e expend| tremend|
|000061f0| 6f 75 73 20 65 6e 65 72 | 67 79 20 6d 65 72 65 6c |ous ener|gy merel|
|00006200| 79 20 74 6f 20 62 65 20 | 6e 6f 72 6d 61 6c 2e 49 |y to be |normal.I|
|00006210| 66 20 79 6f 75 20 77 65 | 72 65 20 61 72 72 65 73 |f you we|re arres|
|00006220| 74 65 64 20 66 6f 72 20 | 6b 69 6e 64 6e 65 73 73 |ted for |kindness|
|00006230| 2c 20 77 6f 75 6c 64 20 | 74 68 65 72 65 20 62 65 |, would |there be|
|00006240| 20 65 6e 6f 75 67 68 20 | 65 76 69 64 65 6e 63 65 | enough |evidence|
|00006250| 20 74 6f 20 63 6f 6e 76 | 69 63 74 20 79 6f 75 3f | to conv|ict you?|
|00006260| 20 45 6e 6a 6f 79 20 6c | 69 66 65 20 2e 2e 2e 20 | Enjoy l|ife ... |
|00006270| 54 68 69 73 20 69 73 20 | 6e 6f 74 20 61 20 72 65 |This is |not a re|
|00006280| 68 65 61 72 73 61 6c 2e | 20 4c 69 66 65 20 49 53 |hearsal.| Life IS|
|00006290| 20 70 61 69 6e 2e 2e 2e | 61 6e 79 6f 6e 65 20 77 | pain...|anyone w|
|000062a0| 68 6f 20 73 61 79 73 20 | 64 69 66 66 65 72 65 6e |ho says |differen|
|000062b0| 74 6c 79 20 69 73 20 73 | 65 6c 6c 69 6e 67 20 73 |tly is s|elling s|
|000062c0| 6f 6d 65 74 68 69 6e 67 | 48 6f 77 20 63 6f 6d 65 |omething|How come|
|000062d0| 20 64 75 6d 62 20 73 74 | 75 66 66 20 73 65 65 6d | dumb st|uff seem|
|000062e0| 73 20 73 6f 20 73 6d 61 | 72 74 20 77 68 69 6c 65 |s so sma|rt while|
|000062f0| 20 79 6f 75 27 72 65 20 | 64 6f 69 6e 67 20 69 74 | you're |doing it|
|00006300| 3f 43 68 69 6c 64 72 65 | 6e 20 61 72 65 20 74 68 |?Childre|n are th|
|00006310| 65 20 6d 6f 73 74 20 65 | 78 70 65 6e 73 69 76 65 |e most e|xpensive|
|00006320| 20 66 6f 72 6d 20 6f 66 | 20 65 6e 74 65 72 74 61 | form of| enterta|
|00006330| 69 6e 6d 65 6e 74 2e 57 | 69 6e 6e 65 72 73 20 62 |inment.W|inners b|
|00006340| 65 6c 69 65 76 65 20 69 | 6e 20 74 68 65 6d 73 65 |elieve i|n themse|
|00006350| 6c 76 65 73 2e 20 4c 6f | 73 65 72 73 20 6c 65 61 |lves. Lo|sers lea|
|00006360| 76 65 20 69 74 20 61 6c | 6c 20 74 6f 20 66 61 74 |ve it al|l to fat|
|00006370| 65 2e 20 54 68 65 20 74 | 72 6f 75 62 6c 65 20 77 |e. The t|rouble w|
|00006380| 69 74 68 20 62 65 69 6e | 67 20 70 75 6e 63 74 75 |ith bein|g punctu|
|00006390| 61 6c 20 69 73 20 74 68 | 61 74 20 70 65 6f 70 6c |al is th|at peopl|
|000063a0| 65 20 74 68 69 6e 6b 20 | 79 6f 75 20 68 61 76 65 |e think |you have|
|000063b0| 20 6e 6f 74 68 69 6e 67 | 20 6d 6f 72 65 20 69 6d | nothing| more im|
|000063c0| 70 6f 72 74 61 6e 74 20 | 74 6f 20 64 6f 2e 20 57 |portant |to do. W|
|000063d0| 68 61 74 20 67 6f 6f 64 | 20 69 73 20 68 61 76 69 |hat good| is havi|
|000063e0| 6e 67 20 73 6f 6d 65 6f | 6e 65 20 77 68 6f 20 63 |ng someo|ne who c|
|000063f0| 61 6e 20 77 61 6c 6b 20 | 6f 6e 20 77 61 74 65 72 |an walk |on water|
+--------+-------------------------+-------------------------+--------+--------+
Only 25.0 KB of data is shown above.
