ftp.ee.pdx.edu/2014.02.ftp.ee.pdx.edu.tar/ftp.ee.pdx.edu/pub/mst3k/sol/sol.29

Internet Message Format | 1994-02-02 | 25KB

From rsk  Sun Nov  8 11:46:12 1992
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 92 11:46:12 EST
From: rsk (Rich Kulawiec)
Posted-Date: Sun, 8 Nov 92 11:46:12 EST
Received-Date: Sun, 8 Nov 92 11:46:12 EST
Message-Id: <[e-mail]>
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Satellite of Love News #29
Status: OR

Editor's note:

I'd just like to take a moment to say "thanks!" to everyone who has
sent items in for the newsletter.  Your time and effort in typing all
this stuff up is much-appreciated by all of us on the receiving end.

Your in Deeeeeeeeep Hurting,
    ---Rsk

----------

From: Mark Holtz <[e-mail]>
Date: Tue, 3 Nov 92 21:42:01 PST
Subject: MST3K November, 1992 Schedule

MST3K Schedule for November, 1992

Fridays (act. Saturdays) @ 12:30 AM    Saturdays @ 10 AM & 7 PM
-----------------------------------    ------------------------
 6 - First Spaceship on Venus           7 - Hercules Against The Moonmen
13 - Godzilla vs. Megalon              14 - The Magic Sword
20 - Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster      21 - Hercules & The Captive Women
27 - Cave Dwellers                     28 - Crash of the Moons *>NEW<*

This is MST3K
-------------

A behind the scenes look at MST3K. Includes initial test runs of the show and
clips from the first episode that aired on Thanksgiving, 1988.

November 14 @ 11 PM
November 21 @ Noon
November 24 @ 9PM and 3 AM
November 26 @ 11:59PM
November 27 @ 2:30PM

Festival of Turkeys
-------------------
25 @ 6 PM - The Beatnicks *>NEW<*
     8 PM - Master Ninja I
    10 PM - Space Travelers
 Midnight - The Lost Continent
26 @ 2 AM - City Limits
     4 AM - Viking Women and the Sea Serpent
     6 AM - The Giant Gila Monster
     8 AM - King Dinosaur
    10 AM - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
     Noon - The Magic Sword
     2 PM - Teenagers From Outer Space
     4 PM - Hercules Unchained
     6 PM - The Unearthly
     8 PM - Gamera vs. Guiron
    10 PM - Fire Maidens of Outer Space *>NEW<*


Saturday Night Live Appearances:
Teri Garr/ - None noted
Flip Wilson/Stevie Nicks - None noted
Jamie Lee Curtis/James Brown - None noted
Ed Koch/K. Rowland & The Midnight Runners - None Noted
--
Mark Arthur Holtz
7943 Sungarden Drive
Citrus Heights, CA  95610-3133
Internet: [e-mail]
UUCP: PacBell.COM! -> mholtz!sactoh0

----------

From: A FROOD WHO SURE KNOWS WHERE HIS TOWEL IS <[e-mail]>
Date: 29 Oct 1992 12:41:13 -0500 (EST)
Subject: MST and AC/DC - A wholesome combination

Greetings.
With the new release of AC/DC's "Live" album, I thought to myself
"Ya, know, they took Peanut Butter and Chocolate and made those
great tasting peanut butter cups. Why don't I take two great things,
combine them, and get something that's really great."
So, with all apologies to Angus, Brian and the rest of them in the
group, here are MST (to the tune of "TNT") and Whole Lotta Gypsy
(of course to the tune of "Whole Lotta Rosie").

    M.S.T.

Watch him launch into the sunset,
Bottom of the screen.
Joel gettin' all the laughs he can get
If you know what I mean.
Servo on the left of him,
and Crow is on the right.
Only got a pun,
Stabs like a knife
Watch on Saturday night -

'Cause it's M.S.T., it's dynamite
M.S.T., and they'll be alright
M.S.T., watch them unload
M.S.T., hear them explode!

He's handy, he's cool, and always clean,
He's a tortured man.
Gettin' sent real bad movies
Understand?
So sit with your daughter
sit with your wife.
Lock all the doors
and turn down the lights
I'm not leadin' you around,
It's the best show in town.

'Cause it's M.S.T., it's dynamite
M.S.T., and they'll be alright
M.S.T., watch them unload
M.S.T., hear them explode!


    Whole Lotta Gypsy

Wanna tell you a story
'bout a 'bot I know.
Aw - good computin'
Steals the show.
She ain't exactly pretty,
ain't exactly small.
15 quadzillion bytes
you could say she knows it all.

Never met a robot, never met a robot like you
Doin' all the work, doin' all the work you do.
Ain't just part of a story,
Ain't just spare parts.
But she gives it all she's got
Makin' her look real smart.

You're a whole lotta robot, whole lotta robot,
Whole lotta Gypsy, whole lotta Gypsy, whole lotta Gypsy
And you're a whole lotta robot.

Oh, Gypsy you can run it, run the ship all night long
Only one to turn, only one to turn the lights down.
All though the movie
and right through the show.
Whew! Too much a 'bot,
don't think she can stop.

Well AC/DC - MST3K fans, Whaddya think?
T.
---
[e-mail]

[ I think you've been listening to waaaaaaaaay too much metal, but
then again, so have I.  I'm reminded of the Steve Dahl/Gary Meier song,
"Cabrini Green (Where the Mayor Sleeps)" to the tune of
"Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)".  ---Rsk ]

----------

From: Spina Bifida <[e-mail]>
Date: 29 Oct 1992 14:20:17 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: The MST3K Drinking Game (picked up from the net)

          The Mystery Science Theatre 3000 Drinking Game
                            v 2.43
                      By Jonathan Hughes
                   [e-mail]

Watching MST3K is a labor of love, but some weeks the movie is
_SOOO_ bad that it becomes downright laborious. To help you,
the loyal viewer, endure those terrible movies, and to add to
the general fun of watching MST3K, I now present the (Unofficial)
MST3K Drinking Game, henceforth refered to as Drink MST3K. Enjoy!


            *** How to use the Drink MST3K Rules ***

First, get your favorite drink, with plenty of materials for
refills if necessary. Next, sit down in front of your TV,
turn down your lights (where applicable), and watch the show.
Every time something occurs in the show that is covered by any
of the rules below, take a sip, or chug (finish) your drink,
depending on the rule. Refill your drink when you've finished
it (either by chugging or constant sipping). Repeat until the
end of the show.

Now, seeing as how there are a plethora of rules, you may want
to tone down some rules or disregard others altogether. (WIMPS!)
However, if you want to play 'purist' (or 'masochistic') Drink
MST3K, apply all the rules through the opening song and any
MST3K commercials. Either way, I can only hope you have as much
fun using these rules as I did making (and playtesting) them.


                 *** THE RULES TO DRINK MST3K ***

                         *** Sip for ***

                      *** Host Segments ***

The song, whenever "lalala" is sung in the background.  Otherwise
    it is your duty to sing along with the song the best you can.
Each of the doors. Take a long sip for the last door.
Movie Sign.
Commercial Sign.
The Computer speaks.
Joel refers to the Satellite of Love.
Scientists calling. Two sips if Joel can't think of something
    sarcastic to refer to them by (Das underlords, etc).
Cambot putting a letter on stills. Two sips if the letter
    includes any pictures of the cast. Five sips if the
    pictures look like they were drawn by 5-year olds.
Cambot switching to Rocket #9.
A special guest. Two sips if they use the HexScreen to talk
    to them.
Whenever Tom Servo or Crow gets a RamChip at the end of the
    movie. Chug if they _both_ get one.
A (pseudo)original song.  Take a _long_ sip afterwards if
    you didn't laugh during the song; you need to loosen up.
Whenever Crow and Tom Servo appear in costume. Take two
    sips if Gypsy also appears in costume.
Tom Servo starts to cry. Take two sips if Crow's teasing
    was the cause.
Whenever someone mentions Crow's full name.  (Crow T. Robot)
Whenever someone mentions Frank's full name.  (TV's Frank)
Every time Gypsy has a line.
Any robot crew member appears in any state of disrepair (arm
    missing, face blown up, etc).  Also included in this is
    any time a robot's programming is malfunctioning.
Every time Joel and the 'bots try to get Frank to push the
    button that brings back the Satellite of Love.


                    *** During the movie ***

Every stupid misconception about laws of physics, chemistry,
    astronomy, geology, computer science, etc.  Chug for a
    flagrant violation. (Note: this applies to the movie
    only. Host segments are exempt from this rule.)
Every name you recognize in the credits. Chug if someone
    in the room has the same name as someone in the credits.
Extraneous stock footage or unnecessary padding in the film.
    Take an extra sip if someone calls attention to it.
Every bad pun.
Every repeat mention of a joke. (Includes exact reuse of a
    joke or jokes of a similiar theme (white supremacy, etc.))
Joel reaches up toward the screen to try to fix something
    wrong with the movie.
Everyone shouts in unison. Two sips if they shout "Shut up!"


                         *** Chug for ***

                      *** Host Segments ***

Invention exchange. Take an extra sip if the scientists
    win.  Take an extra _two_ sips if they blatantly
    steal Joel's idea or he beats them to the punch.
Tom Servo announces over KSOL or he does "the voice".
"Push the button, Frank."  (Note: Anyone who has not finished
    their drink by the end of the credits cannot drink the
    next time Drink MST3K is played.)


                    *** During the movie ***

Crow uses the line "By this time his lungs are aching
    for air." (Or some variation thereof.) But just sip
    if he is stopped before finishing the line.
Tom Servo uses the line "The ocean, source of all life."
    (Or some variation thereof.)
Joel uses the line "Switch to decaf."
A snake is part of useless stock footage and someone says
    "Hi. I'm Satan. Enjoy the rest of the film."  Take two
    sips for every subsequent appearance of the snake.
A cloud/sun scene is a useless transition shot and someone
    uses the line "Hi, I'm God." (Or some variation thereof.)
Someone says "Hi-keeba."


                     *** Special rules ***

Two sips if the film is so short they must show something
    else (public service film, serial, etc.).
Two sips if the "film" is two episodes of a failed TV show
    strung together.  Chug at the change of episode mark.
Three sips for a George Lippert film.
Four sips for a Gamera movie.
Four sips for a Hercules movie.
Five sips for a Godzilla movie.
Chug for any appearance of Tippy the turtle.
Finally, take a _loooong_ drink every time you catch yourself
    paying attention to the film. You obviously need it.

----------

From: Gary Goldberg <[e-mail]>
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 92 10:05:04 -0500
Subject: Copies of tapes wanted, including MST3K "Space:1999" episodes

Could you let it be known on the newsletter that I am interested in
contacting anyone who can make a copy of the shows
featuring Space:1999, or even
better, if anyone will trade a complete set of MST3k to date for a complete
set of 'The Simpsons to date. Thanks. - Gary

----------

From: Erik Habbinga <[e-mail]>
Date: Sun, 25 Oct 92 17:13:32 MST
Subject: Looking for tapes

Hey out there,
   I am looking for a Colorado resident who has MST3K episodes on videotape.
I moved from Boulder to Longmont in August and no longer have access to Comedy
Central. I have recording equipment at my house, so all I need are tapes.
Is there anyone out in the Denver/Boulder/Longmont/Ft. Collins area who can
circulate some tapes my way?  I have copies of about 20 episodes shown before
August, if trading is necessary.

Thanks!
Erik
([e-mail])

[ Longmont, for those of you unfamiliar with Colorado geography, is a
small town northeast of Boulder and north of Denver.  It was used as
the backdrop for that exercise in cold war paranoia, "Red Dawn"; it's
the home of Solbourne Computer; and terrific views of Long's Peak and
other mountains on the Front Range are available all over town.

That'l be twenty-five cents, please. --- Rsk ]

----------

From: Daniel K Tuttle <[e-mail]>
Date: Sun, 18 Oct 92 0:09:24 EDT
Subject: MST3K

[...]

Just thought I would aska quick question off the top of my head....

Does anyone know where the "little pants" joke comes from?

And now for something completely different....

Some quotes:

Hercules and the Captive Women:
-------------------------------

 <on musical breeze.... > ...The Simpsons....!
                                              -All
"Atlantis? That's where the SuperStation comes from!"
                                                      -Joel
"Today is dedicated to Uranus.."
                                  -Ex-Captive Woman
 "Why, thank you, I'm flatt...er..oh."
                                      -Crow

"Everyone get down, and praise Hercules's a-...."
                                                 -Crow (interrupted)
"Uh, that's not what they meant..."
                                   -Joel (interrupting)
"Well, that's what she said..."
                                -Crow

"Uranus has abandoned us!"
                            -Blonde Guard
"Speak for yourself.."
                        -Tom Servo

"Hey, you guys are supposed to be nice to me, today is dedicated to.."
                                -Tom Servo (on Hercules being grabbed by
                                             guards...) <interrupted>
"We know, we know!"
                       -Joel <interrupting>

"Pizza.. Pizza!"
                  -Joel on Roman-esque guard being knocked down

"Everybody must get stoned...."
                               -Joel on boulder hitting guard

"Oh, Richard Pryor..."
                       -Joel <on black guy coming out of the fire>

<body being lowered down a cliff face..>
"Oh, look, you can see the string! Fake!"
                                         -Crow

"A number 2000 pencil works everytime!"
                                   -Tom Servo <on Herc's son hitting a guard
                                                        with a big tree>

"I was the last high priest dedicated to Uranus.."
                                                  -Priest
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."
                      -Crow

"The blood of Uranus can never be destroyed..."
                                               -Priest
"Ewww... augh... <groans & moans>"
                                  -All


One last thing.. Are there any other MISTIES in the Grand Rapids, MI area?


-Kendall "Friend of Crow" Jung
                                   "Men, mount your horses!"
                                      "We're not THAT lonely..."
                                                          -The Magic Sword

[ Some of these are clearly appropriate for the Dirty Quotes File. ---Rsk ]

----------

From: [e-mail] (James "Naka" Nakamura)
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 92 09:18:59 PDT
Subject: Random Stuff

Some Random Musings:

I just got a mailing about an MST3K lunch box! Looks pretty cool but, this
is the first piece of mail I've received in many months! No new catalogs,
no new Satellite News (Binding Polymer) - so now I'm wondering, am I the
only one with this problem? Or has the MST fan club been hibernating for
a while and will now flood my mail box with wonderful information? What's
the story?

I don't know if this has been hashed out before, but did you all know that
Cave Dwellers is a sequel to another Ator film? Yes, "the scene we like to
call 'She Had To Ask'", as Crow put it is a rehashing of the first Ator film.
It aired on TNT one late Saturday night and for some sick, twisted reason I
taped it. Yes, he fights a shadow in disco boots, he meets up with some Isaac
Hayes lookalike who blows up looking into a mirrored shield(?) and finally
he defeats the spider king plush toy (this scene is an absolute scream!).
We also find out that Ator marries his sister (actually he's adopted but hey,
those hollywood types must have a thing for adopted family members) and
that funky John Saxon guy isn't the original. An older version with the
same cool origami helmet makes an appearance. One things that isn't explained
is what happened to Ator's sister/wife? She seemed to have vanished between the
films - maybe she grew up to be Gomez? Anyway, is there any hint that we'll
get to see Ator again with Joel and the Bots?

Considering how fun Catalina Caper was, do you think that we'll get to see
more beach party films? How about some good mid-seventies action films - love
that funk-disco fusion sound.

I was hoping we'd get to see more Herc films. They're hysterical!!! Especially
Deep Hurting - that was one of the best host segments. TVs Frank was in rare
form for that. And for "SAND STORM", I was just about ready to join in with
Joel in singing to keep my sanity. Best joke during the sequence: when Herc
gets to the end and leans up against the rock, Crow(?) screams "Oh no!!!
Rock climbing!!!" I almost lost it there. Only three Herc films? C'mon
Forrester, we want more Herc!!!

        naka
        [e-mail]

----------

From: [e-mail]
Date: Sat, 19 Sep 1992 20:21:27 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: Part two of the Best Brains Tour Report

Here is the last (and long-ago promised) segment to the tour of Best
Brains that Todd and I did this April past.  This one is mainly to list
all the recognizable stuff stuck to the walls of the SOL's bridge.  I
took photos, close-up, of all the hexagonal panels and then made lists
of all the things I positively identified on them.  There are seven
panels or half-panels in the bridge set and what follows is a list by
panel numbered left to right.  Bear in mind that some of these items
are off-screen most the time and will rarely if ever be seen on TV.
Also, I did not photograph the panels that are situated at floor level
since these are covered with lattice-work and virtually invisible.

1. Upper half of leftmost panel- Motorman's helper; potty seat;
crescent wrench; tennis racket; Gumby doll; Hot Wheels storage case;
flatware trays; LEGO carrying case; shoe lasts.

2. Lower half of leftmost panel- Speak 'N' Spell; flower pots; plastic
baseball bat; Tupperware grater; ice cube trays, toy jeep; plastic
ketchup bottle.

3. Half panel beneath window- Hair curlers; toy truck; toy golf club;
ice cube trays; Hungry, Hungry Hippos game; toy pistol; Millenium
Falcon model (this might also be the action playset); film reel; Star
Wars Snow Speeder.

4. Panel areas surrounding Hexfield Viewscreen- Flower Pots; speaker;
toy dinosaur; toy telephone; Trouble Pop O Matic game; toy trumpets;
telephone handset; hair curlers; mouse excercise wheel; toy race car;
baby rattle.

5. Pentagonal panel above door to theater- Flatware trays; kneepads;
potty seats; Hungry, Hungry Hippos game; plastic Christmas reindeer cut
in half.

6. Hexagonal panel with hose- Speaker; flatware tray; drain rack; hair
curlers; Jello mold; plastic baseball bats; half a plastic horse; toy
trumpets and horns.

7. Half panel under window- Toy guitar; toy pistol; toy boat; hair
curlers; bowling pin; ice cube tray; Darth Vader Action Figure Storage
Case; small pitcher; small toy car.

8. Rightmost full panel with hose- Motorman's helper; toy push mower;
Santa's head; toy trucks; bowling pin set; baby rattles; toy pistols;
large flashlights; canteen; pitcher; toy brontosaurus; mug rack; toy
fire truck; wrench; shoulder pads; flower pots; sections of slot car
track.

9. Front of Bridge Console- Bird bath bases; whiffle ball; toy bowling
ball; hair curlers; cameras; toy bird whistle.

Now remember, there are many, many more items on the set, but most of
them are common plastic items or are unidentifiable as to origin.

*********

COOL STUFF!

I just got another boxload of goodies from the good folks at BBI and
they're all better than earlier ones.

T-shirts - They're black this time and have the MST3K globe in white over
the left pocket in puffy paint.

Mugs - This is especially cool! Unlike the first mug, this one has a
full wrap-around photo of the crew of the SOL (including Gypsy) on the
bridge.  The image is 8 1/4 by 4 1/4 inches.

Poster - Printed on regular poster stock paper.  Huge poster of the Mads
and Joel & crew around the MST3K globe.  Very nice!

Bumper Stickers - Two black and two white.
"Oh, bite me.  It's fun!"
"Movie sign!"
"Hi Keeba!"
"I'm huge!"

And - I just got a flyer today for their newest offering:  The genuine
MST3K lunchbox.  Sounds like it's the big decal on a plastic lunchbox
routine.  Might be worth it though.

*****

I also wanted to touch on the subject of the opening doors sequence.  A
friend of mine pointed out that that sequence looked a lot like the
opening doors sequence to the TV series GET SMART.  Duh!  I should've
seen it sooner!  They even have the same number of doors!  Ah well.  That
puts my earlier theories out the window.

*****

I am pursuing an on-going quest to build my own Tom Servo replica.  I
have found the gumball machines (I don't need to paint them, they're
already the right shade of red.  I have the epaulettes (shoulders).  I
have the hoverskirt.  The above parts are identical to the originals.  I
need a barrel penny bank and I need the engine block part on his chest.

I am willing to negotiate a finder's fee for these parts.  Yes, real money.

I am also trying to duplicate Crow, but his head and arm parts have
proved very elusive.

This project may take awhile so any help anyone can offer will be a great help!

*****

Once again, I'd like to put out a request for the words to Clay and
Lar's Flesh Barn, a song from the first season.  I think someone once
said they'd transcribed it.

Well, that's about it for now.  I'm going to forward information about
how the average person can get onto Internet to the folks at BBI.
Several companies are offering it now so if they're interested, they can
listen in.

Thanks again for a very fun newsletter!

Mary Lynn - Mistie #3473
& Todd - Mistie #3472

PS - I'm sending the next batch of MST3K Net Newsletters (#25,26,27) to
the folks at BBI.  This is the sixth volume I've sent them.  I compile
them into GBC bound books so they're easier to keep track of.  Kind of
like having your Mom poking into your underwear drawer isn't it?  Knowing
that the cast and crew of MST3K are reading all of our postings here.
Don't post anything you'd be ashamed of, and get rid of those well-worn
copies of Playboy and Playgirl.

[ Mom stopped poking into my underwear drawer when I left my pet
snapping turtle in there.  ---Rsk ]

----------

From: Ed Hughes <[e-mail]>
Date: Fri, 18 Sep 92 9:55:44 EDT
Subject: OH YEAH?!

Rich--

Geez, Rich, maybe you oughta try decaf! Here I am, being a nice guy,
trying to help out all the (four) other MST3000 fans who are trying to
build their own Servo.  You *could* be supportive of my twisted little
obsession, but NOOOO!!  Instead, I get an unprovoked attack on my
childhood!  Perhaps you would feel better if you inserted wing strut A
into fuselage slot T a little more frequently... :->

[ Yikes! You've learned my secret!  I *knew* there were cameras
in the corners of my place! The walls have ears!  ---Rsk ]

By the way, I *could* chastise you for spending an entire summer in
front of your computer terminal, compiling the SOLN, instead of
frolicking in the sunshine!  Oh, wait--you live in Philly.  You're
probably better off inside. :-> Besides, I benefit from *your*
obsession, so...good boy, Rich!  Keep up the good work!  We need MORE
Americans like you!

[ I work in West Philly -- but not for much longer, as I'm job-hunting
even now -- which is where UPenn is located.  It's mostly an urban
warfare zone.  I live out in Chadds's Ford (oooh, how quaint) which
is a semi-rural area 15 miles out.  It's mostly a wooded Historical
Antique Country-Faire Colonial Revolutionary-War zone.  Hmmm, do you
think BBI could use a Unix/C expert with a background in broadcasting,
Rube Goldberg contests, rock and roll bands, medical image processing,
and whitewater kayaking?  I thought so. ---Rsk ]

Oh, for the record, I've never used airplane glue, and I don't *think*
I've ever built a P-51, but I'm pretty sure that the tiger teeth went
on some other plane.  As for the Testor's glue, I'm afraid you've got
me there.  To quote Dr. Forrestor: "It's the essence of evil, and it's
a good friend."

By the way, allow me to fink on my good friend Craig, also a SOLN
subscriber!  You may think it's sad that I built my own Servo, but
Craig HIRED me to build him one!!  Of course, I agreed--an obsession is
an obsession, but an obsession for pay is BETTER!  Gosh, I bet this
makes me a point of light! :->

--
Ed Hughes, SAS Institute  | "I'm human; now shut up and pass the salt!"
Cary, NC                  | --Crow, "Rocketship X-M," MST3000
                          |

[ Contributions for the "Buy Ed A P-51 Model to Help Make up For the
Awful Gap in His Childhood" Fund may be sent to...  :-) ---Rsk ]