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From: [e-mail] (Richard Kulawiec)
Posted-Date: Wed, 5 Aug 92 14:49:30 EDT
Message-Id: <[e-mail]>
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Satellite of Love News #26
Status: OR

From: Kevin Bell <[e-mail]>
Date: Thu, 02 Jul 92 12:51:53 EST
Subject: Looking for "local" MST3K Episodes...

I've recently discovered the FTP site containing the MST files, which
should give us MSTies in Terre Haute, IN something to marvel over for
a while!
Upon looking through the FAQ file, I found the episode list for the
local MST seasons, which I've heard discussed elsewhere, but never
heard any specific episodes. If somebody has tapes in their possession
of these "missing" shows, could they please mail me at the address below?
I will gladly pay whatever it costs!

Thanks!

Kevin Bell
FINR001@INDST

----------

From: [e-mail] (Denaha Doss)
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 92 10:58:21 GMT-0600
Subject: I know it's sick but I HAD to share this one...

This article appeared in the _Pasadena Citizen_ (June 14) Pasadena,
TX.

Before I go any further I would like to convey my sympathy
to the family and friends of the victim.

This is reprinted WITHOUT permission...


        WORKER KILLED AT PHILLIPS
            By Scott Streater

A 21-year-old contract worker was crushed to death
Saturday at Phillips 66 Co.'s Houston Chemical Complex
when a conveyor belt being carried by a forklift slipped
off and fell on him.

(DELETIA)

The accident occurred at around 1:15 p.m. near the
company's Number 3 holding pond on the plant's north end,
Wicker [the plant spokesman - Dj] said. A crew of eight to
10 Ohio Hazardous Materials workers were in the process of
re-aligning the conveyor belt using the forklift when it
slipped off and fell.

accident did not interrupt normal plant operations,
Wicker said, and Phillips and Ohio Hazardous Materials
officials are conducting separate investigations.
"Was it human error or a mechanical accident? I just
don't know," Wicker said. "It was your garden variety
industrial-type accident that unfortunately took a life."

Well, Mr. Wicker, any MISTie knows.....Someone tried to kill

him with a forklift!

Sad but true...

-Dj
--Huzzah!

----------

From: Ed Hughes <[e-mail]>
Date: Tue, 2 Jun 92 15:16:50 EDT
Subject: The Color of Servo

Sorry to cause all that confusion about whether Servo is
*painted* red or not.  Here's how it happened.  I bought
the previously mentioned gumball machine, which had a
photo in red on the box but was, in fact, white.  I bought
some Testor's red and started to paint, but noticed that
the Servo on my tape was a deeper red.  Moreover, I noticed
that the Servo on the screen was also a deeper red than
the photo on the box.  So I went back to the hobby store,
got dark red this time, and presto!  A pretty close match
to the color of Servo on TV.

Perhaps the TV lights and/or videotape make Servo look
darker red than he is.  Once I matched dark red to what I
saw on TV, I rationalized that Servo *must* be painted,
since the odds against getting a plastic gumball machine,
a plastic barrel, and a plastic engine-thingy that are all
EXACTLY the same color red are enormous.  Apparently, they
all really are (at least pretty close to) the same color--
or else the barrel and engine are painted to match the gumball
machine.

At any rate, if somebody out there has to settle for a non-red
Servo, Testor's dark red will produce a really good facsimile
of the correct color.  If they can get the gumball machine apart,
that is--mine came apart fine, but another that I bought for a
friend won't budge.  He's now stuck with a blue Servo!

Even if you get a red gumball machine, you need to take it
apart to saw off part of the handle that loops over the top half
of the beak.  If not, you end up with a Servo that looks like
he has a levitating pencil-thin mustache!  Also, you need to pry
off the base to remove the spring that holds the beak shut--that
is, if you want Servo to speak.

By the way, Testor's also sells a chrome spray paint that does
a bang-up job on Servo's beak.  As Best Brains would say, it
ends up looking "way cool."  Flat black paint on the inside of the
beak completes the look.

Well, I hope I've cleared up the confusion, or at least created
more confusion on a higher plane...

--
Ed Hughes, SAS Institute  | "I'll stay here and take more lithium."
Cary, NC                  | --Crow, "Women of the Prehistoric Planet," MST3000
                          |
----------

From: Mark Holtz <[e-mail]>
Date: Mon, 3 Aug 92 22:44:53 PDT
Subject: August Movie Sign


                      MOVIE SIGN for August, 1992

Fridays (act. Saturdays) @ 12:30a:  Saturdays @ 10a and 7p:
                                     1 - Hercules Unchained *NEW*
 7 - The Unearthly                   8 - The Giant Gila Monster
14 - Master Ninja I                 15 - Indestructible Man *NEW*
21 - Toxic Waste ....errr....       22 - Hercules Against the Moon Men *NEW*
     The Castle of Fu ManChu
28 - Master Ninja II                29 - The Magic Sword *NEW*

and....INVASION OF THE COMEDY SNATCHERS (August 9th)
10 am - First Spaceship on Venus
 7 pm - Teenagers from Outer Space

Say...doesn't "First Spaceship on Venus" have Zsa Zsa Gabor in it?

BTW: Does anyone know which three SNL's that Joel has appeared in? So far,
I've got the following:

Flip Wilson/Stevie Nicks

Preferably in order......since Flip referred to Joel's prior appearance a few
weeks previous due to a certain prop.......

--
Mark Arthur Holtz
UUCP: PacBell.COM!mholtz!sactoh0
Internet: [e-mail]

----------

From: A FROOD WHO SURE KNOWS WHERE HIS TOWEL IS <[e-mail]>
Date: Mon, 3 Aug 1992 17:00 EST
Subject: - Shrew sketch

Greetings.
Kindly bear with me as this is my first transscribed sketch. It's the
making of a Killer Shrew - from the movie "Killer Shrews."

F: = Frank
D: = Dr. Clayton Forrester
J: = Joel
C: = Crow
T: = Tom Servo

T: (singing) Old Black magic got me...
J: Hey! Evenin' Mr. Servo. Evenin' Mr. T. Robot.
C: Hello!
J: What can I do for you tonight?
T: Joel, buddy. It's a quarter ta three, no one in the place, 'cept you
   an me . . . and . . . and Crow. Anyhoo me and my amigo Crow here are
   gonna show you how to mix a real drink!
C: (Howard Cosell voice) Ah, jump back Joel, cause this is not your average
   pelican-calypso-flip-a-hop-skip-and-go zombie.
T: But it is one potent porta bowl, and it's our very own Killer Shrew.
J: Okay, here I go. I'm at your service. Whaddya want?
T: Okay, listen up - chocolate ice cream.
J: Okay, chocolate ice cream.
C: Captain Crunch with Crunch berries.
J: Okay, Captain Crunch with crunch berries.
T: Yeah, yeah! Peanut M&M's!
J: Peanut M&M's.
C: Mrs. Butterworth!
J: Alright.
T: Circus Peanuts.
J: Alright, circus peanuts, we got those.
C: Mr. Pibb.
J: Alright we got Mr. Pibb.
T: Yeah, now marshmellow peeps, and lots and lots of marshmellow peeps.
J: Okay, marshmellow peeps. Isn't this gonna be kinda sweet?
T: Just make the drink barkeep! Sweet tarts!
J: Alright, sweet tarts, got it.
C: Vanilla frosting!
J: Vanilla frosting -
T: Good-n-plenty.
J: Got it over here.
C: Wax lips.
T: No, no, no. No wax lips. You're thinking of the Vulcan mind probe.
C: Alright, 86 the wax lips.
T: Now, music maestro, please.
J: Alright, alright! Ready here...
(Blender - whirrrr)
C: Ooh.
T: So, Crow - you live around here much?
C: Hey, you see that weather?
T: Great hotel here. Have you been down to the pool?
C: Aren't people here phoney?
T: Alright, pour that into the plastic tulip glass (Crow starts laughing)
   and garnish with a wind up shrew!
C: Umm! Mmm, that looks good.
J: Hey, ya know what? This looks pretty good! You mind if I try it?
T: Be my guest!
(puts straw in - tastes it - falls back)
[Scene change to Deep 13]

F: (slurping) Wheeew, whew! Oh, it is ladies night, yeah the feelin's right,
   oh it is ladies night, oh what -
D: Frank!
F: Oh I wanna, I wanna dance with somebody, whew...
D: New rule Frank. Don't ever touch me!

Well, sirs, (and madames) - whaddya think?
T.
[e-mail]

PS. I would like some assistance. I have actually thought of starting to
use a .sig. I would like one that is MST3K related. The problem is, though,
I can't seem to make a decent ASCII picture of the silouette we are all
familiar with of our heroes down in the front of the screen. Can anyone help?

[ Signatures with graphics in them are not a good idea; see the
postings in news.announce.newusers for information on why. ---Rsk ]

----------

From: [e-mail] (Ben Combee)
Date: Mon, 3 Aug 92 8:32:28 EDT
Subject: MST3K Drinking Game


THE MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 DRINKING GAME
version 1.00 (last modification on 2 Aug 1992)

compiled by Ben Combee ([e-mail])

special thanks to the Satellite of Love News from which I got many of
the ideas for this game.

[ You're welcome. ---Rsk ]


Q: What is the MST3K drinking game?
A: The MST3K drinking game continues in the tradition of the Star Trek
   drinking game, the Star Trek: The Next Generation drinking game, and
   the Cheers drinking game.  Just get with a group of friends and
   follow the instructions with your favorite beverage.  I prefer either
   Dr. Pepper or a generic strawberry soda, but you may want something
   with a bit more kick.

Q: Do I have to follow the rules exactly?
A: No.  Feel free to improvise, let technicalities count or not count,
   or even invent new rules that supercede the current rules.

Q: Where can I get the latest version of the game?
A: You should be able to get it by mailing Ben Combee at the above
   address. Be warned that he doesn't always answer his mail during the
   summer or when on break, but at other times you should get a response
   in three days.

Q: What if I have suggestions for the game?
A: Please send them to Ben at the above address.  He'd love to incorporate
   them into future versions.

Now, the GAME!


Take a sip (or more as noted) whenever the following events happen:

Magic Voice speaks

Two sips if Magic Voice speaks in a segment after the opening one

A character goes hysterical

A self-reference is made (for example, Tom asking Joel if he knows
anyone stranded in space)

One of the characters appears differently in shadowrama (for
example, Joel wearing his big head to the theater or Crow wearing a
shower cap)

A reference is made to a famous conservative

Two sips if the one noted is dead

Three sips if the one noted has a talk show

Crow says "Dickweed" or "Bite me"

Two sips if anyone else says "Dickweed" or "Bite me"

Tom Servo tries to hush Crow

The characters start to sing

The mad scientists call

One of the characters does a voice over for a monster

A character mentions Tom's fictional mother or father

Any reference to a Monty Python skit or movie

Dr. Forrester hits TV's Frank

The SOL crew tries to get TV's Frank to bring them down

TV's Frank sides with the SOL crew

A fashion show is presented

Cambot plays a role in a scene beyond just filming it

A big gulp if the credits for the movie don't match the actual movie

Star Trek or Star Trek: The Next Generation reference

Two sips if the reference is specific to William Shatner

A character makes a sexual innuendo

A character paraphrases Marx, Neitsche, or another philosopher

A mention of a song title

They mention a TV show's title (first time only)

We see Crow's legs

One of the MST3K characters appears in a promo spot during the
commercial break.

A reference is made to drinking (esp. alcohol)


Take a sip (or more as noted) when the following phrases are heard:
(Note: *** stands for any word or phrase)

"I'm huge!"
"Please, don't smoke."
"Sandy Frank"
"It's the *** Mystery Movie"
"Jim Henson's *** Babies"
"Richard Basehart"
"Nipple nipple, tweak tweak"
"You don't say"
"It's the right thing to do"
"Charlton Heston for ConTel"
"Push the button"
"Commercial sign"
"Movie sign"
"PUMA"
"Turkey fact number 12"
"Patrick Swayze"
"Crow T. Robot"
"Roadhouse"
"100% pure adrenalin"
"Hi, ***"
"I'm Batman"
"Scarecrow"
"Scare me?"
"Thunderbirds are go"
"Waffles"
"Miles O'Keefe"
"Ted Kennedy"
"The Kennedy Complex"
"Before this decade is out..."
"Noooooo!"
"Oatmeal"
"I am not an animal"
"No *** were hurt during the making of the picture"
"What the heck is *** talking about!"
"{person name} is {character name}"
"Next week on ***"


Here are some additional rules for group play:

    If an artist is mentioned, all participants have to name a work by the
    artist.  The last one to do so has to take a gulp!

----------

From: [e-mail] (jenkins lisa)
Date: Sun, 2 Aug 92 20:50:24 CDT
Subject: MST3K--Internet for BBI

For the past few months you may have seen some of my postings and/or
received letters from me concerning MST3K.  I have only recently become
a fan of the show, and even more recently a user of the Internet E-mail
system.

But even in this short amount of time, I have been amazed not only with
the philosophies of Best Brains, Inc., producers of _Mystery Science
Theater 3000_, but also of the wonderful outpouring from it's fans,
especially here through the Internet.

I believe that we should do a combined effort as computer-user MiSTies
and do something to tell the people at Best Brains how much they would
benifit from getting Internet access.

I have investigated Internet access in the Twin Cities and discovered
one that, although not a true Internet, it does have the newsgroups and
E-mail available to it.  And, most importantly, it is absolutely *FREE*!

You could help convince Jim Mallon and Best Brains that the best way to
keep in touch with their fans, get immediate reactions on the episodes
as they air, keep the viewers informed of general information and more
than likely cut down on the number of fans interrupting the business day
via phone is to get Internet access.

Here's what you can do--

Call or write Best Brains directly.  Tell them who you are and where
you're calling from.  Tell them you are writing/calling to inform them
of the large percentage of MST3K fandom that is on the computer E-mail
systems.  Tell them about the benifits of Internet access and all the
wonderful things it has done to change your life and how it can change
theirs.

Remember to be business-like and curtious.  Don't take up too much of
their time, but make sure your message is getting through.

And most of all--tell your computer-user friends!  Tell your MiSTy
friends to do the same!  It's volume we need here to get our voices
heard!  We have to show them that, yes, there really is a large number
of people out here, most of them in their target viewing audience.

If we join together and get our voices heard, who knows what might
happen tomorrow?


Best Brains, Inc.
7615 Golden Triangle Drive #J
Eden Prairie, MN 55344
[phone]

----------

From: Mark Holtz <[e-mail]>
Date: Sun, 2 Aug 92 13:31:26 PDT
Subject: MST3K: Two more slate info

The on-air op for the west coast feed screwed up again with the MST3K
broadcast tape-reel one, and we get the title slate.....

(BTW: See Issue 25 for slate setup.)

Show 407
Attack of the Killer Shrews
5/6/92

....and again......

Show 408
Hercules Unchained
5/14/92

RETRACTION TIME: In the episode guide printed in #25, I said Killer Screws.
Well, that's the way I heard it off the phone at Comedy Central.

And, as for those doors, I think they're a clever way to count down to the
movie!
--
Mark Arthur Holtz
UUCP: PacBell.COM!mholtz!sactoh0
Internet: [e-mail]

----------

From: [e-mail] (Larry Hastings)
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 92 00:11:16 -0700
Subject: Homage in Disney movie

I hope you all caught the homage to "The Amazing Colossal Man" in Disney's
new movie "Honey, I Blew Up The Baby", to wit:
    * Having the giant walk around Las Vegas (particularly next to the
      giant smoking cowboy icon)
    * The baby chasing after an ice cream truck (being driven at high
      speed) being _remarkably_ similar to the giant chasing after
      bread trucks in "War Of The Collosal Beast"

Plus, I'm sure everyone noticed in the warehouse scene; the crate with Rosebud
the sled, and the crate behind Rick Moranis' wife labelled "Ark Of The
Covenant"...

It's almost enough to make me forget that they were already enlarging things
at the end of the _first_ film.
--
larry hastings, the galactic funkster, [e-mail],

----------

From: Kevin Bell <[e-mail]>
Date: Fri, 17 Jul 92 14:03:13 EST
Subject: Report on the MST3K live experiment

(Note: If you're on GEnie, and reading the MST group in the SFRT
Roundtable, you've already seen this! I thought I'd pass it along
to the group here also, instead of trying to remember everything
from the show again!)

I attended the 11:30 AM showing of "Mystery Science Theatre Alive!"
July 11th. It was the ULTIMATE experience! Watching MST on TV now will
never be the same! My friend Richard and I are trying to figure
out if we can make a 18 hour drive to Denver in September!

The show started with the theme song playing, and the lighting crew
shining spotlights on the audience, which was a bit annoying, especially
since they weren't showing the show's opening sequence on the screen (a
minor disappointment). Jim Mallon stepped up to the podium on the le     ft
hand side of the stage and introduced the show (the stage was the podium
and a row of seats). After that, Dr. Forrestor (Trace Beaulieu) came out
and told us we were all the subject of his experiment today, which would
be the movie "World Without End"  He called for Frank, who hurriedly
rush to the stage from the back of the theatre, shopping bag in hand.
Frank (Frank Conniff) then went into a bit about shopping in the downtown
area, then they proceeded with the show. Dr. F had to "head up to the
projection room", leaving Frank on stage to do an invention exchange with
Joel and the 'Bots. Frank had the halloween costume of a "theatre floor",
while Joel had the "Chiro Gyro" (repeats from the TV shows, more on that
issue later). After that, the movie began.

The first scene of the movie was a mushroom cloud from an atom bomb, to
which Tom Servo (Kevin Murphy) rattled off "Dan Quayle's first day as
president!" And so the experiment was fully underway! The movie itse     lf
was about an hour and a half long, with four skits and an intermission.
The skits were songs from previous shows, the "Godzilla Family Tree",
"Tibby", "A Patrick Swayze Christmas", and a fourth one which escapes
my mind at the moment. At first, that was a bit disappointing, since I
thought they might work up some new skits, but I realized it was just as
good to see them live! They closed the regular show with an original piece,
"Satellite of Love". (Music, BTW, was provided by Jack Perkins (Michael J.
Nelson).

After the show, they had a question and answer session. Word of advice to
anybody who asks them in the future: Don't ask about Josh Weinstein (the
original voice of Tom Servo)! Someone in the audience posed that question,
to which Jim replied, rather nervously, that Josh was doing some writing
out in L.A., and a bit of stand up comedy. Audience members also requested
other songs, which the cast sang, including "Creepy Girl", the "song about
the train chase" (from Fugitive Alien, "they tried to kill us with a
forklift), and so on. The crew is planning on doing some other appearances
around the country, of which they confirmed the Denver show. Frank also
grabbed the mike and said "Thanksgiving, Chicago".

Another question poised was about what movies they'd like to do, but can't,
because of copyright violations, which Jim says amounts to about a quarter
of the movies they review, but gave no specifics on which ones they were.
There was talk about more recent movies, and Michael remarked they'd like
to do "Mannequin". Trace was queried about who Brian Beaulieu was. Brian
is Trace's brother, who provided them with a facility rent-free for the
early MST's.

Finally, Joel and the Bots went into the lobby for pictures (unfortunately,
I didn't have a flash camera with me).

Since I'm still a bit fried from the trip (eighteen hours total on the
road in a 28 hour period) I know I left out some stuff above (such as G
ypsy's appearance for the final song, Cambot's abscence, etc.)

(Additional non-GEnie postscript...)

I bought a poster at the show for $10. A bit high for a poster, but
well worth it! I believe it's in the latest catalog, if you'd like to
have one.

BTW, the references I made to Denver above is that Joel and company are
planning to be at a Sci-Fi convention in Denver somewhere around Sept.
25th. Brent Spiner is also scheduled to be there! Imagine if they could
get "Data" to be in on the MST portion of the con!

Kevin Bell
[e-mail]

----------

From: Kevin Bell <[e-mail]>
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 92 12:43:18 EST
Subject: Looking for 7/25, 8/1, and 8/8 episodes on tape

I, and the other MSTies of Terre Haute, IN, are in dire need! Our
magnificent cable company is limited in the channels they can put on the
system. (We're not getting the Sci-Fi channel because of that). But they
decided to carry the Olympic Triplecast. Unfortunately, one of the channels
they had to take was the Comedy Channel! (Which occurred right during the
invention exchange of the most recent show!) There was no warning this
was going to happen, so I couldn't make prior arrangements.
Could somebody out there please send me the July 25th episode, and
possibly the August 1st and 8th ones (pending the outcome of my arguments
with American Cablevision). I'll do pretty much whatever it takes to get
them, name your price and method of delivery!

Kevin Bell
[e-mail]

----------

From: [e-mail] (jenkins lisa)
Date: Tue, 4 Aug 92 21:14:47 CDT
Subject: MST3K IT'S ALIVE! report


                     IT'S ALIVE!  IT'S ALIVE!  IT'S ALIVE!

                           IT'S ALIVE! an Experiment
                             at the Uptown Theatre
                           in Minneapolis, Minnesota
                             July 10 and 11, 1992

                            report by Lisa Jenkins


THE PRE-PARTY:

The USENET MiSTy pre-party was held Friday night, 2000 hours at Joel
Stitzel's apartment, about five blocks northeast of the Uptown.  Joey, his
girlfriend, Donna and I started the evening growling at Joey's cat (who
admittedly likes no one) and an exchange of some of the free papers from the
Twin Cities with articles on the IT'S ALIVE! show.  We dumped the party
goodies on the table, stuffed the melting ice cream cake in the freezer and
popped in a copy of "The Crawling Eye" as we sprawled in front of the TV.

Donna showed off her various works including a Gizmonic green t-shirt with the
saying, "My friends went to Deep 13 and all I got was this lousy t-shirt," as
well as some banners with sayings such as, "Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo in
'92!"  She showed off her Dr. Forrester Troll which became our official
mascot.

Robert J. Granvin and friend came by part-way into the show and stayed long
enough to make some good comments with Joel and the 'bots, then left as the
credits rolled to meet up with other friends.  The rest of us did the
necessary adjustments and then headed for the event.


THE FRIDAY NIGHT SHOW:

We spotted the Hollywood search lights immediately.  They crisscrossed the sky
like two light sabers which Donna noted several times as I did the "breathing"
and Donna did the voice of Darth Vader; "Luke, you should not have returned."

We arrived at the theater about 2245 hours.  The line was already around the
side of the block, stretching out past the parking lot.  Donna felt badly
about this, but soon her spirits would rise as events led on.  A group of
people ahead of us had friends who had been waiting by the door to get rush
tickets.  The friends returned with a tale to tell--Joel Hodgson made an
appearance at the entrance, shaking hands with several fans and flashing
pictures from a pocket camera.

Not too long later a camera crew was spotted making its way down the line.  We
excitedly waited with our "USENET MiSTies" sign, but most importantly I was
chosen to wear the Gizmonic green t-shirt which we knew would be a hit.  And
we were right.  As the Best Brains' camera crew approached, they spotted the
t-shirt and interviewed Donna and me.  Donna was the chatterbox, trying to
explain why MST3K appealed to women as well as men, and I admitted that it was
universal.  When asked why we were there, I replied, "I was just in the
neighborhood, so I decided to drop by."  "In the neighborhood!" cried Donna,
"You came all the way down from Moorhead!"  Donna told about her niece Esther
who could not be there that night because she was in California--"Nah, nah!"
                                                                     :P

Once the doors opened, the line moved quickly.  Donna rushed through and went
immediately to the front, but we found that the front row was *not* the place
to be.  Most people ignored the first three rows and packed into the balcony.
Donna was still determined, however, and we sat center aisle, second row.  She
admitted that on Saturday we would get the fourth row for better seating.

The workers at the theater and Best Brains' staff all wore white lab coats
with the planetoid screened over the pocket or the new black MST3K t-shirt and
black slacks.  The people of Best Brains passed by making sure everything was
in readiness, and Michael J. Nelson, decked out as his Jack Perkins'
character, came out and sat at his computer/keyboard console to prepare the
music for the evening.

Donna broke out her banners again and we began showing them off to fellow fans
in the crowd.  The cameraman took notice and came over, taking yet another
shot of us with the "Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo in 92!" banner.

We also noted that there was a banner up in the stage right-hand side of the
balcony with "Forrestor's Fanatics" (with that now-famous typo intact) painted
on it in large, friendly letters, donoting perhaps the first fan-run fan club
for MST3K.

The show was on time with the "Love Theme" on high volume, inside spot lights
gyrating around the room.  Fans began to sing along, and I shouted my MiSTy
comments to the theme song.

[theme song deleted. ---Rsk]

I shouted my responses at the top of my lungs, and I know someone heard me
because I heard a few people behind be laughing.  Then the Best Brains'
cameraman came by one more time and set up his hand-held unit at the end of
the row, but I'm not entirely sure where he was pointing that thing.  (Hey!
Watch where you're pointing that thing!)

Jim "Gypsy" Mallon came out to introduce us to the evening's events.  He
informed us that Comedy Central was now being seen in 35 million homes across
America and that KTMA-TV 23, the original television station which aired
_Mystery Science Theater 3000_, "has now found God."

Jim then listed the format of the evening which would contain two parts:
"Part one, followed by an intermission of ten minutes, followed by part two."
(Is that too difficult for you?  Would you like me to repeat that for you?)
He also mentioned a couple of rules for the evening--no flash pictures.  There
would be a question and answer session at the end where you could take
pictures to your heart's content.  (Uh, I can't remember the second rule.)

At that point, Mallon introduced the Master of Ceremonies for the evening, Dr.
Clayton Forrester.  The evil scientist proceeded in excellent form with his
discussion of observation procedures "which are detailed in my article in _Mad
Scientific American_."  He introduced his assistant to the audience, one TV's
Frank.

Frank was a bit late for the evening.  He rushed down the stage left aisle
carrying bags from his recent shopping spree at Calhouns Square sidewalk sale.
(Frank noted us in the closest seats on Friday night and waved to Donna and
me.)  He gave Forrester a little gift (some sort of swan "basket" made out of
aluminum foil) which Forrester crumpled in disgust.

Forrester went straight into the proceedings and introduced the test subjects.
The first was described as "male, caucasian, thirtyish, no visible marks or
scars...Joel Robinson."  Joel stood from a platform behind the raised "cut-
out" theater seats.  He introduced his companions for the evening, Tom Servo
(stage right) and Crow T. Robot (stage left) who was facing the movie screen,
calling for the movie to begin.  The audience called for him to turn around,
and Joel tapped him on the shoulder.  Crow slowly turned to face the audience,
glanced back at Joel and made a double-take.

Forrester then left the stage, stating he would watch the proceedings and
observe from the projection booth.  That left Frank with the invention
exchange.  He brought out a twine necklace adorned with candy wrappers which
he hung about his neck, calling it the "floor of a movie theater" Halloween
costume.  Joel came back with his invention, the ever-popular Chiro-gyro,
"good for head, neck and pelvis injuries."  (*Pelvis*?!)

They moved directly into the movie, "World Without End" starring Hugh Marlowe
and Rod Taylor.  The movie was a good as any bad experiment we've seen so far,
and the commentary was superb!  There were *many* favorite lines as attested
to by the audience response.  Joel got most of the "eeew!" responses from the
audience, the highest form of flattery when heckling.

Here are some of our favorite lines during the show:

The four astronauts "lay down" in their chairs as they travel through space.
Crow: "Hey, Rod, you're feet really stink!"

The ship is bucked through a phenomenal excelleration in speed.
Crow: "Yes!  Oh, yes!  Yes!"

When the astronauts go exploring on the planet and walk into the second cave,
(the first one containing a giant spider) steel doors open ahead of them to
reveal a series of doors leading further inside.
All: Sing the _Get Smart_ theme.

Every time the character Deena came into the room.  ("Towel service!")
Servo: "(*Whistle* like _Star Trek_ navy whistle) dun-de-dum, dun-de-dum!
(like a bass guitar)"

Any time Rod Taylor opened his mouth to say something really stupid.
All: "*SHUT UP, ROD!*"

At one blatantly boring technical part of the movie, it was obvious the
character was spewing just this:
Servo: "Bla, bla.  Bla, bla, bla, bla...."

When the astronauts go to fight the barbarians of the surface to make the
Earth safe to walk again, a savage is downed and they go to him, saying when
they see his face, "He's not a mutant."
Joel: "He's cute!"

And by far the favorite line of the performance was giving by Joel when the
astronauts discovered a vast expanse of graveyard:
Joel: "If you build it, they will go."

The movie was interspersed with a few of the fans' favorite skits including
"Godzilla Genealogy Bop," Servo's heart-felt "Love Song to Tibby," and Crow T.
Robot's soul-wrenching rendition of a new fourth of July song, "Patrick Swayze
Christmas."

After the movie, Frank came back for the grand finale, and so did Gypsy after
wandering around the parking lot for the past two hours, but Dr. Forrester
said it was time to go; he would blast the test subjects back up into space.
Frank pleaded with Forrester, "Look into your heart!"  But, no, Forrester said
that the audience would have to turn around and face the projection booth and
*beg* him to allow them to stay.  The audience pressed their hands together
and pleaded until Forrester broke down and agreed.  He was pleased with the
outcome of the experiment, however--"We found out that I, Clayton Forrester,
can walk into an empty theater in Minnesota, be mean to people, and two hours
later walk out with my pockets lined with tens and twenties!"

The group then jammed their last song for the evening, a rendition of Lou
Reed's "Satellite of Love" with the appropriate word changes.  Forrester
returned to the stage to dance with Frank, and the group returned three times
to reprise the chorus.

Finally after the show, the players, cast and crew were brought to the stage
for a question and answer session.  Several questions of interest were asked,
including where Joel got the idea for the show.  He said that he got the idea
from an Elton John album which had pencil drawings on it, especially one of
some people sitting in front of a theater with the words, "I've seen that
movie, too."  "Is Tom Servo married?" answered by Kevin, "No, he's single; but
I'm not."  The session did not last long, and they wished everyone a good
night.

However, several fans stuck around after the show, hoping for a peak at the
performers and the set backstage.  A woman gave a note to Trace which drug him
out of the pit and into the forty or so swarming fans looking for pictures
with the 'bots and autographs of the players.  Joey came up to me to ask for a
pen and I gave him one.  It occurred to me then that I had brought my
autograph book and I should do the same!  I stood next to Trace, the nearest
person, and waited for Joey's to be signed.  Trace was going around in circles
as fans handed him ticket stubs, newspaper clippings, posters and even t-
shirts--which were being worn at the time!

I got signatures from Trace Beaulieu, Kevin Murphy, Joel Hodgson (who had
already changed into a purple short-sleeved blouse and jeans), Jann Johnson,
and Frank Conniff (who had changed into the worker's garb of a black MST3K t-
shirt).  Jann was a bit surprised to have someone ask for her autograph, and I
said, "I gotta have Magic Voice's autograph!"  She replied, "Oh, I don't do
Magic Voice any more.  I did it for one season.  Alex Carr does it now."  (A
bit of trivia for all of you.)

Tim Scott, the editor of the show and man who played the Miracle Growth Baby
(After) remembered me from when I visited in May.  "Hi, Lisa from Moorhead,"
he replied to my call of hello, "You sure do travel a lot for this show, don't
you?"

Kevin was hounded by some friendly fans, and he happily gave out bear-like
hugs.  However, Trace was the exuberant one and took the initiative to get out
of crowd's way by stepping over theater seat arms very deftly and suredly.

Some of the crew invited Joel to an all-night party, but he declined, taking
duffle bag in hand and exiting the theater early, probably to get enough sleep
to get a jump on the next day's events.

As I waited for my friends, I found a little yellow tag lying in a pool of
pop.  I picked it up and found it was a back stage pass which all the workers
were wearing.  I thought it'd make a cool momento, so I squeezed the rope
necklace dry and put it with my autograph book.


"INTERMISSION":

Donna and I returned to Joey's to retrieve our things (all except the ice
cream cake which we said he could eat if he felt so brave) and return home.
We got back to Donna's house about four in the morning.  Believe it or not, we
actually crawled into bed and got two hours of sleep before Donna's alarm went
off and she woke me up to get ready to go do it *AGAIN*!

We got to the Uptown Theatre at almost 0830 where one other fellow I had seen
last night was already waiting.  (Did you go home?)  We decided to go over to
Calhouns Square to get some money to buy more nifty stuff, so we did and we ran
into Ellie, the receptionist at Best Brains.  She either remembered our faces
or noted Donna's white MST3K t-shirt because she said hi.

I noticed a photo booth and we decided to take some pictures of Donna and me
with the Dr. Forrester Troll.  Boy!  Did we look like we had two hours worth
of sleep!

We got back to the Uptown Theatre and some more people from the night before
joined us in line.  They had sat behind us; one of them had teased us about
"those seats are reserved" when we sat down.  (Well, he *could* have been
saving it for some friends!)  We exchanged addresses and gave them to one man
who has since mailed copies to all of us.  Some people were far quite far
away, including Pennsylvania and Massachusetts.

I brought out my momento from the night before and we took pictures of
ourselves wearing the "cool access areas" pass.

Several members of the crew came by with their equipment.  Kathy, one of our
new-found friends, wanted to run into the cast to take canidid pictures, so
left to the back entrance in hopes to find Kevin Murphy.  Alas!  Kevin walked
by us at the front of the theater not too long later!


THE SATURDAY SHOW:

The show ran as before except that audience response was much better.  Friday
night's crowd was party-orientated while, as Best Brains had hoped, the
Saturday audience was more family-orientated.  There was more interaction
between the audience and the performers during the show, including Jim's
questions about "How many have traveled more than 300 miles to get here?"
One response was, "Africa!"  (*Africa?!*)

As there were some merchandise available (t-shirts and posters, two of the new
items in the MST3K catalogue), Donna had bought a poster for herself during
Friday's intermission at the performance, and on Saturday she bought a t-shirt
for herself and a poster for her niece Esther--"Nah, nah!" :P   I picked up
each a poster for myself and my sister Wanda (who explicitly asked me to get
her something when I left).

Questions during the end session were of more interest and brought a better
response from the cast and crew.  There were questions such as "Will you do
any science fiction conventions?" asked by yours truly.  They were uncertain
as to committing to such a thing, but they were putting it under
consideration.  "As the show became popular, why did you choose to stay in
Minneapolis?" answered by Frank, "We love not having sunlight nine months out
of the year."

Other questions were "Who is Bryan Beaulieu, and Trace, how did you get your
interesting name?"  Answer:  "The interesting name came from my parents, and
that's my brother.  He gave us a break on our rent for a year, so it's a
little nepotism."  "Where did Kevin get his voice training?"  "A small gnome
who lived in the woods...!  I've had no voice training."

People also asked for some songs to be sung, including "The Weinerman Song,"
"Creepy Girl" and "The Forklift Song" which ended the afternoon's performance.

The performers then went quickly (and in Joel's case, *sprinted*) out into the
lobby to officially sign autographs and take pictures with the fans.  Donna
and I stuck around and waited for the crowd to thin out.  We each took our
picture with Joel, and I asked him to sign one of my posters for my sister
Wanda from Wadena.

I noted that one woman on crutches had her picture taken with Joel and wanted
him to sign something for her, but she had nothing for him to sign.  Joel dug
through his pockets and came up with "Tibby," the prop used in one of the
performance's skits.  He signed it and gave it to her.  Joel had also rolled
up the jumpsuit's pant legs during the performance due to the heat in the pit,
and he showed his legs off to some of the female fans.

I was also able to get more autographs, this time from Michael J. Nelson (who
peeled the layers of makeup from his face for the next hour as he signed
autographs), Jim Mallon and Paul Chaplin, one of the writers.  Mike explained,
"This is the third autograph I've ever given in my whole life."  (Oh, really?)

Paul asked me what I thought of the performances and I said I liked the
Saturday's better because of the audience response.  He agreed.  Then, fans
finally dispursing, Joel came over to speak with Paul.  Paul mentioned to Joel
that the backstage passes made really cool momentos.  (Yes, I *was* wearing
mine in plain sight--like it would have made a difference at that point!)

Joel put on a hat decorated with hand-painted desings of the 'bots which was
given to him by Kathy, and he shook Paul's hand.  "Groovy hat there," Paul
said.  Adjusting the hat, Joel replied, "I feel like such a dork," and they
laughed.

Joel disappeared to do one of those magically fast costume changes and we took
pictures with Frank and Forrester and presented the Deep 13 t-shirt to Trace
who thought it was the neatest thing he'd seen since cheese in a spray can.
(Okay, he just said it was "Ultimately cool" and told us he would put it up in
his office.  I warned him, however, that he might want to wash it first!)

Joel re-appeared and for a brief moment he dressed in casual civies, Trace
dressed as Forrester carrying Crow, Kevin as himself carrying Servo and Frank
were together.  Several people still in the lobby asked to take a group
picture.  They did and then Joel wished us all a "good evening, morning,
afternoon--whatever!" and waved goodbye to help the crew finish dismantling
the set (which by now was almost completed).


THE END?:

Donna and I went to Annie's which was not even a hop, jump and skip away from
the Uptown Theatre to have some sustenance.  We decided to do a little
shopping downtown for a guitar string (since Donna's guitar had busted one)
and try to find the uniform shop we keep planning to take a look at for those
red jumpsuits.

However, it turned out that we bumped into our new-found friends again across
from the bus stop, so we had to sit and chat, and we learned that our dear
friend Kathy had finally managed to speak with Kevin after all!  In fact, she
was given an invitation to the Best Brains' post party at Calhouns Beach Club!
And she could bring friends!!!  Well, that was it.  We decided the afternoon
was over and it was time to prepare for evening.


THE BEST BRAINS' POST-PARTY:

The party started at 2000 hours, but nearly everyone was fashionably late
including our own group.  We got to the party some time after 2100 hours, and
some time after that Kevin, his wife, Joel and his girlfriend showed up.
(Most of the other cast, crew and families were already there or arrived while
we chatted with Jef Maynard, the toolmaster.)

Kevin installed his CD player on the dance floor below to get the party
formally started.  Some time into the night, Joel's girlfriend, crew and
fellow fans joined together for a group dance to B52's "Love Shack" not once
but twice in a row.

Jef is the gossip, and it was hard not to learn anything while sitting with
him at a table.  He pointed out the various couples in the room and told us
some funny stories about how IT'S ALIVE! was put together, including the story
behind the Hollywood search lights used Friday night.  It seemed that Tim
called the search light company and wanted indoor spot lights.  They offered
him outdoor Hollywood lights, too, so he asked, "How much are they?"  A little
over $300 a night.  "Not bad.  I'll take them.  How about indoor lights?"
They threw them in for free!

I saw Tim later and teased him since he was beginning to see me everywhere,
"See--I get everywhere!"  "Yeah, I see that."  He's probably having a fit now
that he's seen the interviews they took with the fans in line on Friday!

Despite all the non-smoking references in the show, there was a semi-large
smoking table in the corner of the room which grew as the night progressed.
Most of the cast did not smoke, but one of those who did was notably Joel
himself.  Tisk!

Joel didn't walk anywhere at the party, he ran!  I mean, he's not a social
butterfly--he's a social super ball!  (Somebody's been eating his Wheaties!)
He was the "man in demand" for the weekend, kept busy by crowds of people as
he dashed around the room.

Later Joel came up to me and chatted a bit.  He remembered me from the
Saturday photo session.  I told him my name and that I had sent an audio
letter to the club some time ago, but I didn't know if anyone had heard it
yet.  He said that he stopped reading his fan mail because it was very hard on
him emotionally.

I told him that I taped some songs that I wrote, and he asked if I played
guitar or sang.  I said both.  He said that he recently bought a guitar and is
just learning how to play.  (He fakes it on the show, obviously.)  He told me
he'd look up the tape and listen to it (and these guys don't fun you without
saying so--they take their fans seriously).

Someone came up and grabbed Joel's beer and said, "That's enough beer for you;
you've had enough."  I said, "Huh?"  (I had had two hours of sleep, so I
didn't know what time of day it was any more than Joel did after Saturday's
performance!)  Joel said, "That's an old joke."  I said, "Oh.  You couldn't do
that to me," indicating for the nth time of the evening that I don't drink
(hey! I practice what I preach!).  Instantly he grabbed the ashtray in front
of me (I don't smoke--it was there!) on the table which had one of those
plastic swords from those drinks in it and said, "No more swords for you;
you've had enough."

Donna spent much of the evening making new friends with the other fans who had
been invited and talking with Trace.  He spoke of his childhood home in a
Victorian house on the East coast and of the fans.  Donna told him about
Visions in Chicago and how much fun all of her friends have had going to
pervious years.  Once she told him about the excellent party atmosphere, he
said, "Yeah!  We're going!"

Also as a note of trival interest, Trace sometimes shaves his mustashe, and he
had done so that night.  He wore an aplique at the performance and admitted
that he sometimes wears a real one for the show.  (A real mustashe, that is!)

Jef told us about the makeup work done on the show.  There are two makeup
artists, Clayton James and Faye Burkholder.  He said you can really tell the
difference between the artists as they really take that masculine/feminine
approach to their work.  Clayton's work is much more flamboyant and wild while
Faye is more tame.

Calhouns Beach Club workers gave us our cue for the end of the evening as they
took down tables and took away the last portions of food.  Slowly the crowd
trickled out save for the ever-flamboyant Trace Beaulieu who grabbed his
wife's wheelchair and popped a wheelie on their way to the elevator.

The last dregs of fans surrounded the social super ball Joel.  He drew them in
with his Jerry Lewis impression to which Donna wished she could have replied
to in Dean Martin's voice.  Joel said Trace could do it, but he had already
left.  Then Joel made mention of Best Brains' journey to Hollywood for the ACE
awards.  He mentioned how strange it was to meet the likes of Lloyd Bridges
and others.  Donna mentioned John Astin and Joel exclaimed, "That's it,
*exactly*!  There's a woman in the know!"

It was about 0130 hours before we left Calhouns Beach Club, and we returned
home, falling asleep dead to the world.

But we had been there.  Deal with it!


Lisa                         [e-mail]
1603 Thirteenth Street South
Moorhead, Minnesota 56560-3734