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Internet Message Format | 1994-02-02 | 72KB

From: rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu (Rich Kulawiec) Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.mst3k,rec.answers,alt.answers,news.answers Subject: Mystery Science Theater 3000 Episode Guide Summary: cast, show list, credits, synopsis, etc. Keywords: mst3k, mst3000, Joel, Crow, Tom Servo, Clayton, Frank Followup-To: poster Reply-To: rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu Organization: Cardiothoracic Imaging Research Center Approved: news-answers-request@@mit.edu Archive-name: tv/mst3k/episodes Version: $Header: /home/gynko/rsk/period/RCS/mst3k.episode,v 1.5 93/03/21 13:40:50 rsk Exp $ This is the "Episode Guide" mailing/posting for fans of "Mystery Science Theater 3000". It has been derived from a large number of sources -- see the credits in the FAQ posting for a detailed list of everybody who has contributed at one point or another. You should probably check the date in the "Version" line above to make sure the copy you're reading is reasonably up-to-date before sending corrections. Speaking of which, corrections should be mailed to: rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu Caveat: Considerable, uh, entropy exists where the first two seasons, i.e. the KTMA seasons, are concerned. It will probably all probably get sorted out eventually, but this is probably not a pressing issue, since very few people have or can get the tapes anyway. The Comedy Central seasons are much more organized. Just relax. Lots of people contributed to this guide; see the MST3K FAQ for a long list of folks involved in making this happen. First (KTMA) Season ("blue set", 1988-89) ----------------------------------------- Credits (Hair Brain Productions): Created by: Joel Hodgson Produced by: Jim Mallon Starring: Joel Hodgson (Joel Hodgson; he used his real name) Puppet Operation and Voices: Josh Weinstein (Servo and Gypsy), Trace Beaulieu (Crow), Kevin Murphy (Cambot) Mad Scientists: Josh Weinstein (Dr. Laurence Erhardt), Trace Beaulieu (Dr. Clayton Forrester) "The Love Theme from _Mystery Science Theatre [sic] 3000_" Lyrics: Joel Hodgson, Josh Weinstein Music: Charlie Erickson, Joel Hodgson Sung by: "Joel and The Joels" (Joel Hodgson) Recorded at: Sing Sing Studios Program produced through the facilities of KTMA-TV. KTMA-1 November 24, 1988 Thunderbirds in Outer Space Notes: A Gerry Anderson Puppet show KTMA-2 November 24, 1988 Revenge of the Mysterons Notes: revpk's guess is that this is an episode of "Captain Scarlet," a Gerry Anderson puppet show. KTMA-3 November 27, 1988 Invaders from the Deep KTMA-4 December 4, 1988 Gamera vs. Barugon KTMA-5 December 11, 1988 Gamera [Joel does film by himself] Pre: Deep froze Crow for Chrismas tree Skits: Phone messages: End credits/hair stylist Gypsy does Godzilla impression Ted Turner opinion survey Coalition of friends for giant mutant turtles and coalition of friends of giant slimey lizards with long nasty tongues Fight footage Post: Deep froze Crow for Christmas tree revisited KTMA-6 December 18, 1988 Gamera vs. Zigra [Crow gets unfroze] KTMA-7 December 31, 1989/January 1, 1989 Gamera vs. Zigra Notes: special New Year's rebroadcast KTMA-8 January 1989 (week of Super Bowl) SST Death Flight Before show: "Death Flight Song" Pre: Dr. F wins lots of money/brings Larry Foundation Trilogy Gift Set Joel does spit take Skits: Servo gets pain shocks Gypsy's voice is sexy! Limbo to the "Banana Boat Song" Post: Letters from female fans Credits: Puppet Voice: Faye Burkholder (Gypsy) KTMA-9 April 1989 Skits: Joel gets trapped outside the ship for the only all-robot episode. KTMA-10 May 7, 1989 The Million Eyes of Su-Muru Skits: Idio probes Servo judged "Love Theme" Post: Servo's mouth doesn't work/900 in fan club Notes: from "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Based on a Sax Rohmer tale. Large-breasted females love to torture men in their rituals. [Note: Sax Rohmer is the creator of Fu Manchu.] KTMA-11 May 14, 1989 Hangar 18 Pre: Joel introduces movie Skits: Crow gets a spanking Crow's memory cleanup Crow's first memory Post: 1,000 fan club member will win Demon Dog Plot Summary: The Air Force captures a real flying saucer. KTMA-12 May 21, 1989 The Last Chase Pre: Dr. F tries to make cold fusion in Larry's mouth Skits: Humanity lesson for the 'bots Post: Winner of 1,000 fan club member Fan club letter Comments: Lee Majors plays a race-car driver in a future without fuel. Because he's in denial, he's stashed away a racing car so he and Chris Makepeace can drive it cross-country to California, where cars are still legal. Both a jet plane and pilot Burgess Meredith are de-mothballed. For a low-budget film, the cinematography is on a professional level, at least. -- Brian Siano KTMA-13 May 28, 1989 ??? Skits: How does Godzilla burn a model KFC Post: Retrospective video on past episodes with "What a Wonderful World" playing in the background. KTMA-15 1988 Thunderbirds are Go (this may be "Thunderbirds in Outer Space") KTMA-16 1988 Gamera vs. Gaos Skits: Messages from the MST answering machine KTMA-17 Gamera vs. Guiron KTMA-18 January 1989 Time of the Apes KTMA-19 January 1989 Mighty Jack KTMA-20 Jan/Feb 1989 Fugitive Alien KTMA-21 1989 Humanoid Woman KTMA-22 1989 Phase IV Notes: This is actually a pretty good movie. Director Saul Bass is best known for his titles sequences for other filmmakers, such as for Vertigo, Psycho, Spartacus, and Walk on the Wild Side: and in some cases, rumors fly around that Bass actually directed some of the more interesting segments of these films, which gives you an idea of the man's rep. (For example, Bass storyboarded out Psycho's shower sequence, and some people have mistakenly given him the credit for Spartacus's battle sequences. And yeah, I think he's the same Bass of Rankin-Bass Productions.) This nifty thriller about a pair of scientists trying to understand an intelligent hive of ants was Bass's feature debut. Extraordinary ant photography by Ken Middleham and a good performance by Nigel Davenport make this a rarity-- a _good_ film MSTed by Joel and the Bots. There was also a lengthy, surrealistic sequence depicting how man would be controlled by the ants, but this was cut by the film's distributor. Knowing Bass's work, it's a major loss. -- Brian Siano Saul Bass is also known for the wonderful short film, "Why Man Creates" ---Rsk KTMA-23 1989 City on Fire Notes; A low-budget disaster movie, starring (if I recall) Henry Fonda and Shelley Winters --- Brian Siano KTMA-24 1989 Death at the Super Bowl KTMA-25 ?? Space: 1999 -- Moonbase Alpha (???) Space 1999 film The first film was two episodes from the second season. One of which was the introduction of Maya(?)....the woman who transforms into animals. I would guess the second half of the film was the second episode of the second season. (???) Space 1999 film Two episodes from the second season that form one story. The plot is that that a bunch of aliens arrive disguised as earth people and only the Commander can see through the disguise. (I'm not sure if this was an MST 3000 film or not). KTMA-?? The Chill Factor?? We're not sure what this is. Second (KTMA) Season ("red set", 1989) -------------------------------------- Credits: Writers: Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon, Kevin Murphy Associate Producers: Kevin Murphy, Vince Rodriguez Production Assistant: Alex Carr Make-up: Faye Burkholder Director: Vince Rodriguez Audio: Todd Ziegler Camera: Kevin Murphy Art Director: Joel Hodgson Lighting: Kevin Murphy Color Consultant: Lisa Erickson Hair Designs by: Mr. Crow of Beverly Hills Credits for Best Brains, Inc., which apparently started showing up in '89: Created by: Joel Hodgson Produced by: Jim Mallon Crow (T. Robot): Trace Beaulieu Joel Robinson: Joel Hodgson (Tom) Servo: Josh Weinstein (Comedy Channel 89/90 season), Kevin Murphy (Comedy Channel 90/91 and Comedy Central seasons) Gypsy: Jim Mallon Cambot: Himself Dr. Clayton Forrester: Trace Beaulieu Dr. Laurence Erhardt: Josh Weinstein (Comedy Channel 89/90 season) (TV's) Frank: Frank Conniff (Comedy Channel 90/91 and Comedy Central seasons) (Magic Voice; not credited on screen; all at various times): Jann L. Johnson, Alexandra B. Carr, Kevin Murphy, Ellen McDonough "The Love Theme from Mystery Science Theatre [sic] (3000)" Lyrics: Joel Hodgson, Josh Weinstein Music: Charlie Erickson, Joel Hodgson Performed by: "Joel and The Joels" (Joel Hodgson) Mastered at: Blue Light Music, Minneapolis Shot entirely on location at Best Brains Studios, Minneapolis. Filmed in shadowramma. First (Comedy Central) Season (1989-90) --------------------------------------- Credits: Writers: Trace Beaulieu, Joel Hodgson, Jim Mallon, Kevin Murphy, Mike Nelson, Josh Weinstein Featuring: Joel Hodgson's Puppet Bots Associate Producer: Kevin Murphy Production Manager: Alexandra B. Carr Editor: Randy Davis Art Direction: Trace Beaulieu, Joel Hodgson Set Design: Trace Beaulieu, Joel Hodgson Lighting: Kevin Murphy Make-up: Faye Burkholder, Clayton James Costumes: Bow Tie Gizmonic Devices: Joel Hodgson Production Assistants: Jann L. Johnson, Steve Rosenberer, Sara J. Sandborn Production/Post Production: Fuller Productions, Minneapolis, Minnesota Production Staff: Ken Fournelle, Jim Fuller Production Assistant: Jim Erickson Special thanks: Randy Herget, Skyline Inc., Bryan Beaulieu, KTMA TV23, The Teachers of America, David Campbell, Rick Leed 101 The Crawling Eye Pre: Larry not good in disguise Inventions: J: Electric bagpipe MS: Canine Pineal Gland Serum Skits: Head games, Gypsy uncoiled, The Crawling Forrest Tucker Post: Name good thing/bad thing for RAM chip Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": This film is lowered a few notches by obvious special effects hoke. A mountainous ski resort area is terrorized by an unseen invader from outer space, who kills via poison gas. The creature turns out to be a large tentacled crawling eye which is more than a match for hero-scientist Forrest Tucker. From "Future Tense: The Cinema of Science Fiction": (Also known as The Trollenberg Terror) Set in an Australian ski resort called Trollenberg it concerns a scientist who becomes increasingly suspicious about a number of mysterious disappearances in the area. He realizes that all the missing people were seen in the vicinity of one particular mountain, whose summit is always covered in cloud no matter what the prevailing weather conditions. Eventually it is discovered that the mountaintop has been taken over by a number of grotesque alien creatures who use the manufactured cloud to conceal their activities. As they come from a planet with avery low atmospheric pressure they are at first restricted to the top of the mountain, but then they succeed in creating a force field which will enable them to extend their influence. The cloud begins to move down the mountain until it covers the village, and with the cloud come the creatures, which resemble giant turnips with tentacles. But all is saved when a squadron of United Nations planes arrive and bomb the monsters to pieces. (Special effects man Les Bowie.) "It had an awful lot of effects in it, and there was one shot of a cloud on the mountain that was really terrible. I squirm when I see it on TV now and I squirmed when I filmed it, but we were in a mad hurry at the time. We did the cloud with just a piece of cotton wool-- we stuck it on a photograph of a mountain with a nail and then filmed it. And they used that photograph time and time again during the film: every time a character looked out of a window they'd cut to this photograph and we'd have stuck the cotton wool in a new position. Awful!" 102 The Robot vs The Aztec Mummy (Commando Cody part 1) Pre: Dr. F blew up mad convention center/improved security at Deep 13 Inventions: J: Air-bag helmet for motorcyclists MS: Chalk-man Skits: Servo will save us from the demon dogs Enoch--leader of demon dogs Crow tries to be Enoch Post: Joel sends demon dogs to fetch Credits: Special Guest Puppet: Enoch (Jim Mallon) Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": A mad scientist irks the Aztec mummy when, after a series of poor attepts at gate crashing the mummy's tomb, he decides to employ a large robot to do the breaking and entering for him. 103 Mad Monster (Commando Cody part 2) Pre: How MS went mad Inventions: J: Hell in a Handbag MS: Acetyline-powered lizard Skits: Tom tries to pick up a blender Stupid questions about werewolves Joel switches Crow's and Tom's heads: Servo-Crowatian. "Beverly Hillbillies" song parody Post: Ontological discourse Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Dr. Lorenzo Cameron has a plan. Through a series of blood transfusions, he believes he can create a race of superwerewolves to do battle with the Nazis. Assistant Pedro isn't too keen on the idea-- he's the doctor's first experimental model. 104 Women of the Prehistoric Planet Pre: Joel is a talk-show host (who?) Inventions: J: Toilet Paper in a Bottle MS: Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn Skits: Joel -- this is your life Isaac Asimov's Literary Doomsday Device Duplicate Isaac Asimovs (Aismovinator) Post: Avocado Boy names - winner of the brainstorm Credits: Additional Writers: Alexandra Carr, Jann Johnson Additional Production Assistants: Melanie Hartley, Neil Brede Additional Production Staff: Jim Erickson, Elisabet Sandberg Notes: This is where "Haikeeba!" comes from. 105 Corpse Vanishes (Commando Cody part 3) Pre: Forrester gives Larry Foundation Trilogy Gift Set Inventions: J: Chiro-Gyro MS: Flame Flower Skits: "Tiger-Bot" issue on Data Game of Tag At the barbershop Post: Name good thing/bad thing for a RAM chip/Servo's head explodes Credits: Additional Production Assistants: Melanie Hartley Additional Production Staff: Jim Erickson Post Production Audio: Rich Cook, TeleEdit, Minneapolis Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Bela Lugosi replaces George Zucco, John Carradine or the actor of your choice as the mad doctor who conducts rather unorthodox experiments in the hope of making his wife eternally young. 106 The Crawling Hand Pre: Joel explains show Inventions: J: Safety Saw MS: Limb Lengthener Skits: Let's play murder ball! Shatner choking What can a hand do? Post: Name a Good thing and a Bad Thing about this movie for a RAM chip Credits: Additional Production Assistants: Melanie Hartley Additional Production Staff: Jim Erickson Post Production Audio: Rich Cook, TeleEdit, Minneapolis Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Funny stuff of the unintentional variety. An astronaut returns to earth with a dismembered hand which crawls around and murders the cast who, judging from their performances, deserve their fate. The hand is facetious portrayed by mechanical pieces of trivia apparently concocted during a bad day at the local five and dime store. The hand appears to be winning the battle between the fingers and the frightened humans until it is eaten by a stray cat. Movies are better than ever. 107 Robot Monster (Commando Cody parts 4 & 5) Pre: Joel explains show / Gypsy is injured Inventions: J: Cumber-bubble-bund MS: Self-inflating Whoopie Cushion Skits: Can bumblebees fly and other conundra Kill the Hu-Man! Surrealism Post: The Life and Times of Ro-man Credits: Additional Production Staff: Jim Erickson Post Production Audio: Rich Cook, TeleEdit, Minneapolis Notes: From "Castle of Frankenstein magazine #24": It is a handful of flicks like this that makes all these listing chores something to look forward to. Certainly among the finest terrible movies ever made, this ridiculous gem presents as economical a space invasion as ever committed to gilm: one (1) Ro-Man invader consisting of a) a gorilla suit, b) a diving helmet with a set of antennae. Hiding out in one of the more familiar Hollywood caves with his extraterrestrial bubble machine (no, we're not being facetious: it actually is a 2-way 'alien' radio-TV thing, consisting of an old war surplus shortwave set resting on a small kitchen table, that emits Lawrence Welk-like bubbles), Ro-Man's trying to wipe out the last six humans left on earth, and thus make the planet safe for colonization by Ro-Men (from the planet Ro-man, where else?) This early 3-D effort has attained legendary (and richly deserved) status as one of the most laughable of all poverty row quickies, although the pic does make some scatterbrained sense when viewed as a child's-eye monster fantasy (it's all a dream experienced by a sci-fi-crazed '50's tyke). Rousing musical score by Elmer Bernstein is great and keeps it all moving. Directed in three frenzied days by Phil Tucker, who also did the little-known and equally hysterical Lenny Bruce vehicle _Dance Hall Racket_. From "Danse Macabre" by Stephen King: ...I made a grave mistake concerning Robot Monster (and Ro-Man can be seen, in a mad sort of way, as the forerunner of the evil Cylons in Battlestar Galactica) about ten years ago. It came on the Saturday night Creature Feature, and I prepared for the occasion by smoking some pretty good reefer. I don't smoke dope often, because when stoned everything strikes me funny. That night I almost laughed myself into a hernia. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and I was literally on the floor for most of the movie. Luckily, the movie only runs about sixty-three minutes; another twenty minutes of watching Ro-man tune his war-surplus shortwave/bubble machine in "one of the more familiar Hollywood caves" and I think I would have laughed myself to death. 108 The Slime People (Commando Cody part 6) Pre: Crow - Portrait of a Morning Person Inventions: J: Bulging Eyes MS: Screaming Cotton Candy Skits: Bots vs. Commando Cody Why was this film made? Ship filled with fog Post: Silicon Diode Pie Credits: Additional Production Assistants: Melanie Hartley Additional Production Staff: Jim Erickson Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Slimy creatures from under the ground surface and begin a reign of predictable and laughable terror. 109 Project Moonbase (Commando Cody parts 7 & 8) Pre: Robot baths / Pictionary Inventions: J: Water Juggling MS: Insect-a-sketch Skits: Servo plays Commando Cody Ties of the future SPACOM--1001 uses Post: Gravity Fun Credits: Additional Production Assistants: Melanie Hartley, Neil Brede Additional Production Staff: Jim Erickson This episode is dedicated to the memory of Alan Hale, Jr. Notes: From "Future Tense: The Cinema of Science Fiction": Set in 1970, it starts with the first orbital flight around the moon being organized from a United States space station in orbit around the earth. The pilot of the spaceship is to be a female officer called Colonel Breiteis ("Bright Eyes," a typical Heinlein touch) and she is to be accompanied by two males-- Major Moore and Dr. Wernher. Little does anyone realize, however, that the Dr. Wernher who arrives at the space station is not the real one but an enemy impostor. The ship leaves its base on schedule but during its trip to the moon Moore discovers the truth about Wernher; they fight and in doing so activate the wrong set of controls which sends the shop hurtling out of its orbit. With their fuel almost gone they are obliged to crash-land the rocket on the moon's surface. They survive the landing but are stranded on the moon. Relations between Moore and the false Wernher do not improve and, during the erection of a television aerial on the summit of a moon mountain Wernher falls to his death. This leaves Breiteis and Moore alone on the moon, something that the American public finds very disturbing, and when communication with the space sation is established again one of the first things their commanding officer does is order them to marry-- to appease public opinion. Their marriage is subsequently performed-- via television-- by Madame President of the USA and the American public is able to breathe more easily. From "The Encyclopedia of Science Fiction": This rarely-seen, low- budget SF film is of interest mainly because Robert Heinlein worked on the screenplay. A group of space explorers take off for the Moon from a station orbiting Earth. The aim of their expedition is to select a site for a lunar base, but their rocket crash-lands on the moon and only three survive. One of the survivors subsequently dies and the remaining two, a man and a woman (Colonel Breiteis!) are then married via television by the President of the USA (who, in a typically Heinleinian touch, is a woman). The ambitious idea is undermined by a very small budget reflected in Jacuqes Fresco's inadequate special effects. 110 Robot Holocaust (Commando Cody part 9) Pre: Joel explains show/"Human"/film broke (during Commando Cody) Inventions: J: Nitro-Burning Funny Pipe MS: Stocking Mask of the Future Skits: The We-Zone SitCom Simulator Servo the Fur-Clad Hero Post: "Name the Plant Guy" brainstorm Credits: Additional Production Assistants: Melanie Hartley, Neil Brede Additional Production Staff: Jim Erickson Audio Post Production: IVL Post, Minneapolis 111 Moon Zero Two Pre: Joel explains show/eats vicariously through viewers/ Larry's hair is lifeless Inventions: J: Teleporting Food MS: Mouth-to-Mouth Celebrity Toothpaste Skits: Tribute to Neil Armstrong Games of the future Zero-G Fight Post: Name good thing/bad thing for RAM chip Credits: Additional Production Assistants: Melanie Hartley, Neil Brede Additional Production Staff: Jim Erickson Notes: From "The Science Fiction Encyclopedia": At the same time as the first actual moon landing, Hammer Films were making this quasi- Western, set on the Moon, and the results were predictably absurd. One of the hoariest of pulp Western plots is dressed up with a lot of colourful space hardware: a poor but honest space pilot/cowboy is forced by a group of villains to capture an asteroid of pure sapphire, but his principles triumph and he foils their plans. The special effects are unexpectely convincing, considering the relatively small budget, but the film has no other strength. 112 Untamed Youth Inventions: J: Never-Light Pipe MS: Tongue Puppets Skits: Greg Brady--An American Legacy Inside Gypsy's brain Gypsy is sick Post: Who's the goofy guy? Credits: Additional Production Assistants: Melanie Hartley, Neil Brede Additional Production Staff: Jim Erickson Audio Post Production: IVL Post, Minneapolis Notes: One of the minor players in the film is the late Eddie Cochran, best known for "Summertime Blues" and "C'mon Everybody." 113 Black Scorpion Pre: MS tried to make cold fusion walkman and failed / Party Like It's 1990 Inventions: J: Man's Party Favor MS: same thing Skits: Mangled Mexican Strange things about humans Ray Harryhausen Post: Letter of "helpful criticism" for Crow Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": ...teems with stunning stop-motion special effects but little else by way of entertainment. Mexico is invaded by hordes of giant scorpions a la Them! and the army is sent in to wipe'em out. Which they do...almost. One of the tinglers escapes to wreak much havoc in a highly populated area before duelling to the death with an army helicopter. Despite the Harryhausen host segment, this film was one of the last for Willis H. O'Brien, Harryhausen's mentor...and the man who created King Kong. Second (Comedy Central) Season (1990-91) ---------------------------------------- Credits: Head Writer: Michael J. Nelson Writers: Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff, Joel Hodgson, Jim Mallon, Kevin Murphy Associate Producer: Kevin Murphy Host Segments Produced (201)/Directed (202-213) by: Jim Mallon Production Manager: Alexandria B. Carr Production Assistant: Jann L. Johnson Toolmaster: Jef Maynard (listed twice in 202-204) Art Direction: Trace Beaulieu, Joel Hodgson Set Design (not listed in 206): Trace Beaulieu, Joel Hodgson Gizmonic Devices Designed by: Joel Hodgson Special Effects and Other Fancy Stuff: Trace Beaulieu Additional Visual Effects: Industrial Plumbing and Heating Hexifield Viewscreen Designed and Constructed by (beginning 205): Mark Gilbertson Post Production Supervision: Kevin Murphy, Alexandra B. Carr, Jann Johnson (207-213), Jim Mallon (207) Editor: Tim Paulson (201-205, 207-213), Randy Davis (206) Lighting: Ken Fournelle, Kevin Murphy Audio: John Calder, Fred Street (204) Make-up: Faye Burkholder (201-203, 209-213), Clayton James (204-207) Interns: Nathan Molstead, Tamra Lewis (201-212), Amy Kane, James Smith (201- 208), Michelle Molhan, Robert Czech Post Production Facilty: IVL Post, Minneapolis Video Services: Fournelle Video Production Services Special thanks: Randy Herget, Skyline Displays Inc., Bryan Beaulieu, The Teachers of America Executive Producers (beginning 205): Joel Hodgson, Jim Mallon 201 9/22/90 Rocketship XM Pre: Changes on ship/new Servo voice/new assistant in Deep 13 Inventions: J: BGC19 (Drum Set) MS: same Skits: The reporters of Rocketship X-M Selective gravity class What are your dreams? Song Lyrics - space vixen Post: "You Wouldn't Show Marooned, Would You?" Credits: Valeria: Michael J. Nelson Jerry: Brent Peterson Slyvia: Alex Carr Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Cheap attempt to cash in on George Pal's Destination Moon, Rocketship X-M is something of a classic in its low-life caliber. A rocket miscalculates its fuel supply and winds up stranded on Mars with no way to get back. Talk about poetic justice. First appearance of TV's Frank, Kevin Murphy as Tom Servo, and the "By this time, my lungs were aching for air" catchphrase. Field} 202 9/29/90 The Side Hackers Pre: Cleanup the ship Inventions: J: Gretchen the Slinky MS: Personal Slinky Train Skits: Side hacking song Side hacking jargon The Life of Rommel & visit by J.C. Post: "Love Pads the Film" Credits: Gooch: Frank Conniff, J.C.: Michael J. Nelson Jerry: Nathan Molstead, Slyvia: Amy Kane "Sidehackin'" Written and Performed by: The Brains Additional Music by: Michael J. Nelson Notes: Cambot adds commentary during Sidehacking race. This was the first of two Ross Hagen biker epics. 203 10/6/90 Jungle Goddess (Phantom Creeps part 1) Pre: Hide and Seek with the Elusive & Inexplicable Forces that Control the Universe Inventions: J: Radio Arm Saw MS: Doctor Sax Skits: Bela's OK discoveries Magic Binoculars & Scopes Colonists arrive Post: "My White Goddess" Credits: Imperialistic Alien 1: Michael J. Nelson Imperialistic Alien 2: Jim Mallon Jerry: Jim Smith "My White Goddess" Lyrics: Jim Mallon, Frank Conniff Music: Michael J. Nelson Sung by: "The Kevins" (Kevin Murphy) 204 10/13/90 Catalina Caper Pre: God Bless Tweekie Inventions: J: Tickle Bazooka MS: Tank Tops Skits: The Sixties Creepy Girl Gun Tupperware Party Post: What the Sam Hill was going on? Credits: Jerry: James Smith Sylvia: Robert Czech "My Creepy Girl" Lyrics: The Brains, Music: Michael J. Nelson Additional Special Thanks: Eli Mallon (Koochy-koochy-koo) 205 10/27/90 Rocket Attack USA (Phantom Creeps part 2) Pre: Servo gets robot haircut Inventions: J: Button Candy Adding Machine MS: Water Foosball Skits: The Cold War--Charlie McCarthy Hearings Civil Defense Quiz Bowl Visit from Cosmonaut Post: Review of the plot. Letter: Issac Asimov rabbit Credits: This Week's Creative Pit Boss: Joel Hodgson Sorri Andropoli: Michael J. Nelson 206 11/3/90 Ring of Terror (Phantom Creeps part 3) Pre; Fake Movie Sign Inventions: J: Pin-bolus MS: Lifesize Operation Game Skits: The Old School Vacuum Autopsy Name a Good Thing about This Movie for a RAM Chip Post: "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" (NOTE - Phantom appears after the movie) Credits: Special Guest Writers: Jann L. Johnson, Alexandra B. Carr This Week's Creative Pit Boss: Trace Beaulieu On-line Post Production Facility: Fuller Productions "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" Lyrics: Frank Conniff Music: Michael J. Nelson 207 11/17/90 Wild Rebels Pre: Crow & TS take over ship functions / Joel has a nice chat with Gypsy Inventions: MS: 3D Pizza J: Hobby Hog Skits: Famous Motorcycle Riders Wild Rebels Cereal Song Gypsy and Joel together Post: Distract yourself from the pain & weird hats Credits: This Week's Creative Pit Boss: Jim Mallon 208 11/24/90 Lost Continent Pre: Team Rally Inventions: J: <none> MS: Mobile Stationary Walker, etc. Skits: Visit from Hugh Beaumont, Horseman of the Apocalypse) "The Explorers" - A Quinn Martin Production Hey, Look at That Cool Thing! Post: Padding--A Film Style Credits: This Week's Creative Pit Boss: Kevin Murphy Cryptodad: Michael J. Nelson Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Average film with predictable plot. A group of scientists, looking for a lost rocket, crashlands on a prehistoric land mass and stumbles across countless dinosaurs of various shapes and sizes. This show introduced "Rock Climbing". Notes: Average film with predictable plot. A group of scientists, looking for a lost rocket, crashlands on a prehistoric land mass and stumbles across countless dinosaurs of various shapes and sizes. 209 12/8/90 Hellcats Pre: Everyone's sick with a cold. Inventions: J: Sign Language Translator: MS: <none> Skits: Dear Diary (Tom Servo) Dear Kitty (Crow) Dear Sandy (Joel) Post: Dear Richard (Gypsy) Credits: This Week's Creative Pit Boss: Joel Hodgson Additional Music: Michael J. Nelson Notes: Tom Servo's "Dear Diary" segment is recycled from the first season's "Crawling Hand." This gives newcomers a chance to hear Josh Weinstein doing Servo, however briefly. 210 12/22/90 King Dinosaur (X Marks The Spot) Pre: Joel reads poetry/Dr. F fixing elevator Inventions: J: The Incredibly Stinky Sweatsocks MS: The Pocket Scientist Skits: Am I Qualified? (Crow gets activized) Joey the Lemur Emotional Scientist Post: Yet another Lippert Film Credits: This Week's Creative Pit Boss: Trace Beaulieu Jerry: Nathan Molstad Additional Music: Kevin Murphy, Michael J. Nelson Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Inane little premiere film by Bert I. Gordon about life on the planet Nova where dinosaurs (lizards) terrorize visiting explorers. The star of the show was a gila monster. Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Inane little premiere film by Bert I. Gordon about life on the planet Nova where dinosaurs (lizards) terrorize visiting explorers. The star of the show was a gila monster. 211 12/29/90 First Spaceship On Venus Pre: Joel raises Servos' sarcastic sequencer Inventions: J: Junk Drawer Helper MS: none Skits: Foam Robot Visit from a gorilla Klack recipes ideas Post: Sarcastic Servo, Servo's head blows up Credits: This Week's Creative Pit Boss: Michael J. Nelson The Gorilla: Crist Ballas Abe Vigoda's Back: Michael J. Nelson Additional Music: "Klack Holiday Serenade": Michael J. Nelson "O Sweet Mother O Mine": Kevin Murphy Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Foreign-made sci-fi with accent on brotherhood-- and boredom. A group of international astronauts investigate technicolor space scenery. The "Klack recipe Ideas" is one of the better host segments. Dr. Forrester missnames movie as "First Spaceship *to* Venus." Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Foreign-made sci-fi with accent on brotherhood-- and boredom. A group of international astronauts investigate technicolor space scenery. 212 1/19/91 Godzilla vs. Megalon Pre: All these stories and more--not! Inventions: Household Halloween costumes MS: Foosball goalie costumes Skits: My monster is better than your monster! Rex Dart - Eskimo Spy Orville Redenbacher skit Post: Jet Jaguar Fight Song / New Limbs / Letter Credits: This Week's Creative Pit Boss: Joel Hodgson Additional Music: "Rex Dart Action Theme": Michael J. Nelson 213 2/2/91 Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster Pre: The Velveteen Rabbit Inventions: J: Mind-Control Guitar MS: Squeeze Toy Guitar Skits: The Godzilla Geneaology Bop Jeol has been in space too long... Models Made from Household Items Crow and Tom contact Mothra Post: Film Fallacies and Truths Winners of "Cool Thing" Contest Credits: Additional Writer: Faye Burkholder Mothera: Michael J. Nelson Roadies: Sylvia: Robert Czech, Jerry: Nathan Molstad Additional Music: "Geneology Bop": Faye Burkholder, Kevin Murphy Music: Kevin Murphy Squeeky Toy Orchestra: Michael J. Nelson, Jef Maynard, Alex Carr Third Season (Comedy Central) (1991-92) --------------------------------------- Credits for this season: Head Writer: Michael J. Nelson Writers: Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff, Joel Hodgson, Jim Mallon (301-306), Kevin Murphy, Colleen Henjum (306-308), Paul Chaplin (313-324) Contributing Writers: Bridget Jones, Lisa Sheretz (302-305), Colleen Henjum (302-305, 309-324), Jim Mallon (307-324), Paul Chaplin (307-312) Host Segments Directed by (starting 303): Jim Mallon, Michael J. Nelson (234) Associate Producer: Kevin Murphy Production Manager: Alexandria B. Carr Technical Supervisor: Timothy Scott Production Coordinator: Jann Johnson Toolmaster (starting 303): Jef Maynard Manager of Business Affairs: Heide LeClerc Post Production Facilty: IVL Post, Minneapolis Video Provided by: Fournelle Video Production Services Audio: Fred Street (301, 310, 318, 320, 322), John Calder (302-303), Bob King (305), Brian Wright (306-310, 312-317, 319, 321, 323-324), Timothy Scott (319) Editor: Tim Paulson (301-303) On-line editor: Timothy Scott (305), Tim Paulson (306-307, 309-310, 313-316, 319, 323), Karen Lindsay (308, 311-312, 317-318, 320-322, 324) Audio editor: Timothy Scott (beginning 305) Post Production Supervision: Kevin Murphy (301-303), Timothy Scott Post Production Coordination (beginning 303): Alexandra B. Carr, Jann L. Johnson Art Direction: Trace Beaulieu, Joel Hodgson (not listed in 303) Set Design: Trace Beaulieu, Joel Hodgson, Jef Maynard Gizmonic Devices Designed by: Joel Hodgson Lighting: Ken Fournelle, Kevin Murphy Hair and Make-up: Faye Burkholder (301-310), Clayton James (311-312, 315- 316, 318-324), Mary Flaa (313-314), Andrea J. DuCane (317) Prop Assistant: Barb Oswald (303, 320), Lori Schackmann (308), Carolyn Sloat (312) Interns: Thomas Alphonso (301-312), Cyn Eells, Tom Henderson (301-312), Christopher Wurst, Cindy Hansen (313-319) Additional Music Written and Arranged by Michael J. Nelson (305-306, 310-311, 313-318, 322-324), Kevin Murphy (314, 316, 323-324), Frank Conniff (322) Special thanks: Bryan Beaulieu, Skyline Displays (Inc), (The) Teachers of America, Bill W. Executive Producers: Jim Mallon, Joel Hodgson 301 Cave Dwellers Pre: Favorite New Name Inventions: J: Smoking Jacket MS: Robotic Arm Wrestling Skits: Opening "Credits" Fancy Prop Names (extraordinary names for ordinary objects) Sound Effects - Foley Post: Continuity Problems Credits: Additional Contributing Writer: Christopher Wurst Gerry: Christopher Wurst Additional Music: "Jupiter" written and arranged by Michael J. Nelson Notes: Real title of this film is either "Blade Master" or "Ator the Blademaster." It's a sequel to the immortal "Ator the Fighting Eagle." Joel Hodgson claims that Miles O'Keeffe, star of this clunker, saw the show and called him up to tell him how much he enjoyed watching it. O'Keeffe apparently said that making the film was such a surreal experience, that watching it get skewed was lots of fun. 302 Gamera Pre: Warming up, "Commercial siiiign" Inventions: J: Portable Salad Bar MS: Bird Cage Vacuum Cleaner Skits: Love song to Tibby Why we hate Kenny Visit by Gamera Credits: Gamera: Michael J. Nelson Additional Music: "Tibby, Oh Tibby" Written and Arranged by Michael J. Nelson Notes: "From the Gamera Filmography" GAMERA aka GAMERA, THE INVINCIBLE (1965), the first genre film to feature a child in a leading role, and the last one to be shot in black and white, was released in theatres in the United States, unlike all of the subsequent movies in the series, which were shown only on American television, with new footage featuring Brian Donlevy and Albert Dekker added to it. There is a war on, and an aircraft armed with nuclear weapons is shot down in the Arctic. As the plane crashes, a nuclear blast occurs. A giant prehistoric turtle emerges from the crash site shortly afterward, and attacks a nearby ship. It then makes its way to Japan, and destroys a geo-thermal power plant. A plan to temporarily freeze the creature and turn it onto its back with explosives proves unable to stop it, and the monster then heads for Tokyo, where it wreaks havoc. A new plan to use a trail of fire to lure the giant turtle into a rocket that will be shot off into space is put into effect, but just as the creature begins to follow the trail, rain begins to fall, and the fire goes out. 303 Pod People Pre: "Robot on the Run" - a work in progress Inventions: J: New Guitar Chord MS: Public Domain Karaoke Skits: New Lyrics for Unintelligible Song (Ave Maria) (It Stinks!) "I'm a Virgin" T-shirt Music from Some Guys in Space (wall of keyboards) "You Are Magic, Aren't You Trumpy?" - Great Facial Expressions Post: "Where Does All the Magic Go?" Credits: Additional Music: "A Clown in the Sky" Written and Arranged by Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy 304 Gamera vs Barugon Pre: User interface war Inventions: J: Audio-animitronic pop can MS: Disco Cumber-Bubble-Bund Skits: 5,000 Fighting Men and Monsters Set T.G.I. Tokyo Hollywood stars in Gamera movies Post: Read more about it Notes: From the "Gamera Filmography" GAMERA VS. BARUGON aka WAR OF THE MONSTERS (1966), the only Gamera film without a child in it, played in Japan at the same time as MAJIN, MONSTER OF TERROR, the first of three movies, also produced by Daiei, featuring a giant samurai warrior made of stone. Three Japanese treasure hunters travel by ship to a remote island in the South Pacific, and there find an object which they believe to be a large opal. The object is accidentally exposed to infra-red light during the voyage back to Japan, and shortly afterward, a prehistoric creature hatches from it and quickly grows to enormous proportions. When the ship reaches port, the creature causes widespread destruction, in part by giving off an energy ray similar in appearance to a rainbow. Gamera soon appears, having been attracted by the ray, and the Japanese military finds itself having to fend off not one, but two, giant monsters. --- David Milner 305 3/28/92 Stranded in Space Pre: shooting gallery Inventions: J: "Bang" Uzi, knife, dynamite MS: "Bang" harpoons, nunchuks Skits: Toddlers TV Trading cards What "Ward E" is to me Kill Hooker! And Silence Magnum Poimanently! Post: Tom Servo -- Executive Producer Credits: Additional Contributing Writers: Jann L. Johnson, Alexandra B. Carr On-line Editor: Timothy Scott Audio Editor: Timothy Scott 306 Time of the Apes Pre: Tee Ball, Baseball season Inventions: J: Cellulite Phone MS: Miracle Baby Wonder Growth Formula Skits: Why Johnny doesn't care Scopes monkey trial Crow T. Robot's Fashion Minute Post: Sandy Frank song Credits: Additional Contributing Writers: Lynn-Anne Freise, Craig Tollifson, Tom Wedor, Jann L. Johnson, Alexandra B. Carr Miracle Growth Baby (before): Eli Kenneth Mallon Miracle Grwoth Baby (after): Timothy Scott 307 Daddy-O (Alphabet Antics) Pre: Hanging round the water cooler Inventions: J: Air Freshener Mobile MS: "Alien" Teething Nook Skits: "Hike Your Pants Up" song The Drag Race Spit-Takes/Visit from Near-Sighted Guy Post: Fruit Slapping Button Problem Credits: Bruce: Michael J. Nelson Additional Music: "The Pants Up Song" arranged with lyrics by Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy; "Baby Music" written and arranged by Michael J. Nelson 308 Gamera vs Gaos Pre: Lucille Ball Meets Harvey Firestein Inventions: J: Kleenex Phone MS: Self-Image Printers Skits: How to Make Gaos Gameradamnerung The Amazing Gaos (spinning Gameras) Post: Ways to Snuff Gaos Credits: Additional Music: "Opus 4, Number 23, Plate Spinning Song" Written and Arranged by Michael J. Nelson Notes: From the "Gamera Filmography" GAMERA VS. GAOS aka RETURN OF THE GIANT MONSTERS (1967) proved to be the most popular series entry in Japan. A volcanic eruption arouses a huge vampire bat that has a special affinity for human blood. Gamera appears and twice does battle with the creature, but is forced to withdraw each time after being injured by a supersonic sound beam emitted by it. It is soon discovered that sunlight is harmful to the giant bat, explaining why it appears only at night, and a plan to disorient the creature so it will be unable to retreat to its underground lair when the sun comes up by luring it with a substance similar to blood onto a rotating restaurant located on top of a hotel is then put into effect. At first it appears that the plan is going to work, but when the mechanism which keeps the restaurant turning breaks down, the creature escapes. --- David Milner 309 12/7/91 The Amazing Colossal Man Pre: Hiding from Joel Inventions: J: Non-Permanent Tattoos MS: Music-Reviewing Plant Guy Skits: Sensitivity Training (Things not to say around the wife of a nuclear accident victim) Joel gets HUGE! Arrival of the Amazing Colossal Man Post: Things the Colossal Man could have done Credits: Robert Plant: Kevin Murphy Glen: Michael J. Nelson Additional Music: "Beethoven's Waldstein Sonata" Performed by Michael J. Nelson Notes: From "Horrors From Screen to Scream": ...stands as being an imaginative film that holds up under the strain of low-budget blues. Col. Glen Manning (Glenn Langan) is the victim of a freak accident during the detonation of the first plutonium bomb. When a plane crashes near the site of the blast, Manning dashes to the wreckage only to receive the full force of the deadly blast head on. His skin burned from his body, Manning surprises military doctors by growing new skin and then growing to new heights. With radiation affecting his growth rate, the colonel's burgeoning body at first startles him, then enrages him as he realizes how freakish his condition is. Manning is troubled even more by a weak heart that cannot keep up with the antic of his ever-growing bulk. Langan offers a sensitive portrayal of the army freak, but the script gives him little to work from. Limited in scope and budget, the film ends on the usual monster-on-the-loose note. (War of the Colossal Beast is a sequel.) 310 Fugitive Alien Pre: Joel is a farmer, Gypsy is a cow Inventions: J: Musical Chair MS: Auto-Rhino-Laryngilogical Dropper Skits: Hat Party Ship Captain Joel Screenplay model Post: Buttons on the suit, Jack Perkins gets genetically altered Credits: Jack Perkins: Michael J. Nelson Special Make-up: Crist Ballas, Glen Griffin 311 It Conquered The World (Snow Thrills) Pre: Ventriloquism with Crow as the Woozle who's name is Peanut Inventions: J: Sony Seaman MS: Halloween Costume Nooses Skits: Winter Sports Cavalcade Coffee Clash (Dinner with the Lockhorns) Famous Hollywood Siblings Post: Peter Graves' Ending Speech Credits: Additional Contributing Writers: Jef Maynard, Jann Johnson, Alexandra Carr, Timothy Scott Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Roger Corman cranked out this cute little quickie recounting the adventures of a cucumber creature from outer space who invades the earth via a pseudometeor and then proceeds to attempt to take it over. Aided by eight winged things (sort of vampire bats from beyond the sky types) who bite their victims and turn them into space zombies, the creature terrifies a number of Earthlings. From Future Tense: "The Cinema of Science Fiction": Lee Van Cleef stars as a scientist who is seduced with promises of fame and fortune by a Venusian who needs some assistance in conquering the Earth. The Venusian needs all the help it can get as it resembles Humpty Dumpty and is just about as maneuvarable. Living in a cave, it sends out little flying-bat creatures which fasten on people's necks and plant electrons in their spines, making them puppets of the alien's will. Eventually the scientist has a change of heart after his wife falls victim to the thing, and he decides to destroy it. In the film's hilarious climax we first see the creature ignoring a fusillade of army bullets and bazooka shells and then being overcome by the scientist, who wields a simple blowtorch. 312 Gamera vs. Guiron Pre: School lunches Inventions: MS: Psychology Today Centerfolds J: Collapsible Garbage Can Skits: Bouncy Gamera Song World of Amusement and Child-like Wonder Richard Burton--One of the Good, Dead ones Post: Gamera marching song / Michael Feinstein's "Gamera" at piano bar Credits: Michael Feinstein: Michael J. Nelson Additional Music: "Gamera (in its many forms)" Performed by Michael J. Nelson Notes: From the "Gamera Filmography" GAMERA VS. GUIRON aka ATTACK OF THE MONSTERS (1969), the only Gamera movie in which a monster, other than Gamera, first seen in a previous series entry again appears in new, rather than stock, footage, had a few of its more graphic monster scenes edited out of it before it was released in the United States. Two curious children enter an alien space ship which has landed in Japan, and travel to the planet Tera in it. There, after witnessing a battle between a giant creature with a sharp, pointed head and one similar to monster Gaos, the children meet two alien women who lead them to believe that they will be well cared for when, in fact, the women plan to kill them. --- David Milner 313 Earth vs. The Spider (Speech: Using Your Voice) Pre: Inside the robot mind Inventions: MS: Cheese Phone J: CD-Player Blow Dryer Skits: Earth vs. Soup Visit from the Custodian of the 7th Galaxy Creepy Crawlers (sic transit) Post: Homework essays 314 Mighty Jack Pre: Joel's dead--not! Inventions: MS: Formal Flipper J: "Ear" ear-muffs Skits: Mighty Jack Dog Food Boy, is he smart! Aquarium Camerawork Post: "Slow the Plot Down" shanty 315 Teenage Caveman (Aquatic Wizards/Catching Trouble) Pre: BORED - Poker game Inventions: J: Rainy Day Epicacs MS: Frank Threatens Dr. F Skits: Catching the Great White Ross Fight in Deep 13 (with Star Trek fight music) Arguments against Change Post: "We are the result of a a mad movie-watching experiment ..." Note: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": An intellectual caveboy crosses into the forbidden zone and finds out exactly why the elders choose to hide the origins of their species. 316 Gamera vs. Zigra Pre: Orbiting Root-Beer Kegger Inventions: MS: Three Stooges Guns J: Crow-shish-ka-bob Skits: Tour of Gamera Gamera Diaramas Visit from Kenny and Helen Post: Interpretations of the Gamera Theme Song Credits: Kenny: Michael J. Nelson Helen: Bridget Jones Roadies: Kevin Murphy, Jef Maynard Additional special thanks: St. Paul Harley Davidson Notes: GAMERA VS. ZIGRA (1971), which has been shown only on cable television in the United States, was released in Japan just a few months before Daiei went out of business for seven years because of insolvency. After destroying a base on the moon, an alien spaceship makes its way to Earth and settles at the bottom of the ocean. An announcement then comes from it that the planet going to be taken over, and that people are going to be used for food. The military proves ineffective against the ship, but Gamera soon appears and destroys it. A creature somewhat similar in appearance to a shark emerges, and it quickly grows to enormous proportions because of the difference between the water pressure of its home planet of Zigra and that of the Earth. The two monsters do battle, and although the alien creature seems at first to be outmatched, the Zigran, even more intent on taking over the Earth now that its means of returning home has been destroyed, soon manages to immobilize Gamera with a light ray that stops all cellular activity. --- David Milner 317 Viking Women and The Sea Serpent (The Home Economics Story) Pre: Wonderful World of Waffles Inventions: MS: Reanimate Meat J: Waffle Iron Skits: Naming New Uses for Waffles Waffles! Willie the Wisecracking Waffle Post: Waffles the Song 318 12/28/91 Star Force: Fugitive Alien II Pre: The Nature of Puppets and Their Symbiotic Relation with Man Inventions: J: Big Head MS: Big Noses (Super Schnoz) Skits: Emergency 911: Tom Servo is Dying Captain Joe Action Figure "Fugitive Alien" Song Medley Post: The Ultimate Bad Guy Credits: Additional Music: Lyrics: Kevin Murphy 319 War of The Colossal Beast (Mr. B Natural) Pre: Create-Your-Own Mexican Junk Food Inventions: J: Between Meal Mortar MS: Breakfast Bazooka Skits: Mr. B Natural - Woman or Man? Who's That Guy with the Big Head James Ungateen (?) KTLA Predicts Post: Bad movie/bread made from home perm Credits: Glen: Michael J. Nelson Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Bert Gordon's sequel to his successful Amazing Colossal Man has gigantic Col. Manning coming back, but this time as an enraged and slightly battered (as a result of his bazooka-induced dive from Boulder Dam in the last film's finale) titan bent on destruction. Great goings-on as the giant wrecks everything in sight before being electrocuted on high-voltage wires. "Mr. B. Natural" is one of those instances where everything works. Great intro for your friends. The "KTLA Predicts" host segment sneaks in a nifty reference to Dr. Bronner's Pure Castile Soaps ("Dilute! Dilute! OK! OK!"). 320 12/14/91 The Unearthly (Posture Pals, Appreciating Our Parents) Pre: 'Bots tape funny (dangerous!) home video Inventions: J: Celebrity Home Appliances MS: Hard Pills to Swallow Skits: Appreciating Gypsy The Many Faces of Tor Johnson "The Unearthly" Home Game Post: Dead End Kids' Lingo Credits: Paint Box Artistry: Jef Maynard 321 Santa Claus Conquers The Martians Pre: Christmas catalogues Inventions: J: Misfit Toys MS: Wish Squisher Skits: "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas" Christmas Specials Christmas Essays Post: Joel and Bots' Stockings Mads' "Gift of the Magi" Credits: Additional Contributing Writers: Lynn-Anne Freise, Tom Wedor, Craig Tollifson, Bob Schrad, Christopher Whiting "A Patrick Swayze Christmas" Music and Lyrics: Michael J. Nelson 322 Master Ninja I Pre: American muscle cars Invention Exchange: J: Pop-up classics MS: Gourmet IV bags Skits: The Van Patten Project Ninja Tom Servo Nun-chuks: "Chuks" Brainstorm Post: Funk Fusion TV-Action Band: Master Ninja Theme Song Credits: Additional Contributing Writer: Mike Gandolfi 323 Castle of Fu Manchu Pre: Satellite of Love Marching Band Invention Exchange: Servo: Telephone Chip J: Big Head MS: Stinky Bomb Skits: Miss Saigon Syndrome Magic Carpet Trouble What's the Deal with Fu Manchu?--breakdown Post: You haven't won--you/ve lost! Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Tired of remaining dormant, Fu Manchu (Christopher Lee) and demonic daughter once again decide to take over the earth. Once again they are stopped. This film nearly broke'em-- skits performed with much sobbing and weak bravery. The film is, ya gotta admit it, pretty damn boring. 324 Master Ninja II Pre: Improv Theatre Inventions: J: Gerbil Sphere II MS: Conveyor Belt Buffet Skits: Dream 70's Van Col. Timothy Van Patten Pets for Fictional Detectives Post: Lee Van Cleef Foam Core Doll, Favorite Movies Credits: Additional Contributing Writer: Mike Gandolfi Additional special thanks: St. Paul Harley Davidson Fourth Season (Comedy Central) (24 episodes, 1992-93) ----------------------------------------------------- Credits for this season: Head Writer: Michael J. Nelson Writers: Trace Beaulieu, Kevin Murphy, Frank Conniff, Joel Hodgson, Paul Chaplin, Bridget Jones (402-424), Mary Jo Pehl (404-424) Contributing Writers: Colleen Henjum, Jim Mallon Host Segments Directed by: Jim Mallon (402-403, 405-413), Kevin Murphy (404, 414, 417, 420, 423), Joel Hodgson (415, 418, 421), Trace Beaulieu (416, 419, 422) Associate Producer: Kevin Murphy Production Manager: Alexandria B. Carr (401-414), Jann L. Johnson (415-424) Technical Supervisor: Timothy Scott Production Coordinator: Jann L. Johnson (401-414), Ellen McDonough (415-424) Toolmaster: Jef Maynard Manager of Business Affairs: Heide A. LeClerc Production Assistant: Ellie/Ellen McDonough (403-414), Sarah E. Wisner (417- 424) Video Provided by: Fournelle Video Production Services, St. Paul (MN) Audio: Brian Wright (402-414), Timothy Scott (414-424) Editor: Timothy Scott Associate Editor: Bradley J. Keely Post Production Coordination: Alexandra B. Carr (401-414), Jann L. Johnson, Ellen McDonough (415-424) Art Direction: Trace Beaulieu, Joel Hodgson, Jef Maynard Set Design: Trace Beaulieu, Joel Hodgson Lighting: Ken Fournelle, Timothy Scott (403-408, 416-417, 420-424) Engineering: Rob "the engineer" Burkhardt Hair and Make-up: Clayton James (402, 404-408, 410, 412-413, 415-424), Andrea J. DuCane (403, 409, 414), Crist Ballas (411) Prop Assistant: Barb Oswald (402), Patrick Brantsey (417-424) Toolmaster Jr.: Barb Oswald (403-405, 410) Interns: Patrick Brantsey, Nathan Devery (402-412), Brendan Glynn (402-403), Suzette Jamison (402-409), Steven Sande (402-405), Curtis Anderson (413-424), Kelly Ann Nathe (413-417) Additional Music Written and Performed by: Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy (418) Special thanks: Skyline Displays Inc., Teachers of America, Mark Gilbertson, all MSTies coast-to-coast, the authors of the 1st Amendment Executive Producers: Jim Mallon, Joel Hodgson 401 6/6/92 Space Travelers Pre: The Great Crowdini Inventions: J: Dollaroid MS: Facial Tissue (with faces) Skits: American space race advancements Astronaut and CB lingo Problems we may have to face Post: Find the finder of lost loves Credits: Additional Contributing Writer: Bridget Jones Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": A good idea is a bit overworked in this John Sturges remake of his own Jeopardy (1952). While the world watches, a team of astronauts are lost in space. Maintaining voice communication, the spacemen calmly talk to the earth below of their helplessness and the population of the world screams for a rescue attempt. 402 6/13/92 Giant Gila Monster Pre: The thing with two heads/odd couple 1999/Forrester's dead Inventions: J: Prop Old Sitcom/Movie Radio MS: Renaissance Festival Punching Bags Skits: Stupid/soda jerk Favorite funny drunk Servo on cinema (blocking) Post: Hee-la rock group Credits: Additional Writer: John Carney Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Before the era of cheap sex and gore in the film industry there was such a thing as banality for banality's sake. Herein lies such fantastic stuff. A giant gila monster makes the rounds in tinker-toy towns and terrorizes local teens who are always pictured driving around in their hotrods or having sock hops. (This is the type of film, by the way, where the actors all use their _real_ first names in the script.) The lizard is eventually beaten by a brave lad who drives his hotrod full of nitro into the belly of the beast. Some fun, eh kids? 403 City Limits Pre: Ping pong balls/Servo has Crow's eyes Inventions: J: Fun Friend from Stake MS: Tupperware Container to Lock in Pop Star Freshness/Tupperware Coffin Skits: "Ode to Kim Cattrel" New comic superheros (Fantastic 85) Fantastic 85/185 continued Post: City Limits trivia game Credits: Additional Writer: John Carney Morrisey: Michael J. Nelson 404 6/27/92 Teenagers from Outer Space Pre: NBC mystery movie electro-shock (*zap!*) Inventions: J: Scratch-and-sniff Report Cards MS: Resusci Annie Ventriloquism Skits: Reel to real, Snacks in waste receptacle, Skelton visit Post: Duct tape fashions Credits: Resusci-Anne Provided by: Nancy Mason Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": A young man from out of this world is sent to do the Earth in. Complications arise when he falls in love with a local teen queen. To make matters even worse, a monster from his spaceship is loose and, from what the audience can see of its shadowy form, it appears to be a lobster. With love showing the way, the homo sap from space guides his invading comrades' fleet into the side of a large hill. Destroying himself, the big lobster, and the thousands of ships in one large splat (unseen), the unearthly adolescent makes the supreme sacrifice in saving Earth. An excerpt from "The Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies," by Lester Bangs. (Collected in Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung): "I recall reading an item on the entertainment page of the daily paper after Teenagers from Outer Space came out to the effect that responsible people all over were so turned off by this pic that the financial angels and bureaucratic bosses of the studio that sponsored and released it ganged up on the poor guy that made the film, and gave him a good talking-to about devoting his talents to such a piece of trash, and even if it was his first film he should think of the public interest, etc. The item ended by saying that the guy had actually apologized, and promised to do better with the money that was given him for his second film." (For those of you who haven't heard of Lester Bangs, he was a rock critic for various 60's and 70's era magazines such as Crawdaddy and Creem. "Psychotic Reactions..." collects some of the best of his work, and should be required reading for anyone attempting to understand rock and roll. Just ignore what he says about Lou Reed [he's far too enthusiastic] and Yes [he doesn't understand them].---Rsk) "Tom Graeff" Profile from Re/Search: Incredibly Strange Films: "Some directors make dozens of movies, but never anything memorable. In 1959 Tom Graeff made only one movie, Teenagers From Outer Space, but it's enough to earn him a place in this book. It featured giant lobster shadows and 'alien" teenagers in silver jumpsuits and motorcycle helmets." 405 7/4/92 Being from Another Planet Pre: Twenty questions Inventions: MS: Tragic Moments Figurines J: Jack Palance Impersonator Kit Skits: Lost in Space fan Haunted boiler room Joel's rainy day fun sketch and hexascreen holo-clowns Post: TV's Frank Shopping Network Credits: Holo-clowns: Michael J. Nelson, Paul Chaplin 406 7/18/92 Attack of the Giant Leeches (Undersea Kingdom 1) Pre: Holo-clown sequencer Inventions: MS: Leech Nicotine Patch J: SOL Insty Adolescent Kit Skits: Dress to take over the world Coffee and dreams "I'm a Danger to Myself and Others" Post: Problems with film Credits: Holo-clowns: Michael J. Nelson, Paul Chaplin Giant Leech: Kevin Murphy Additional Music: "A Danger to Ourselves and Others", Michael J. Nelson, Joel Hodgson Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": A small town situated in the Florida everglades is terrroized by a bad script, inept direction and several man-sized leeches. A bloody bore. 407 7/25/92 The Killer Shrews (Junior Rodeo Daredevils) Pre: Present time Inventions: MS: Revenge on people from the past (destroy the Earth) J: Jim Henson's Edgar Winter Babies Skits: Will Rodgers thing, Killer Shrew board game, Killer Shrew drink Post: 'Bots are killer shrews/Frank had too much Killer Shrew drink Credits: Additional Contributing Writer: Steve Hollenhorst 408 8/1/92 Hercules Unchained Pre: Annual wash and wax day Inventions: MS: Decorator roaches J: Steve-a-meter Skits: Gypsy's Olympiad set mythic foods (The Waters of Forgetfulness) 'Bots try to get Joel to explain birds and bees Post: Why these movies? Credits: Additional Contributing Writer: Don Jurek Steve Reeves: Michael J. Nelson Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Hercules comes to the attention of a queen who picks her lovers and then disposes of them by having them stuffed and mounted, in that order. Engagement notices are posted and Hercules begins to sweat. 409 8/15/92 Indestructible Man (Undersea Kingdom part 2) Pre: Joel is crazy?/party in Deep 13 Inventions: MS: For men (but women like it, too) J: Cereal Novels Skits: Any excuse for a parade What would you do if you were indestructible? Lon Chaney eye thing Post: Affidavit to stop cop donut jokes/MS get noise ticket Credits: Additional Contributing Writer: David Sussman Officer Kevin: Kevin Murphy Officer Mike: Michael J. Nelson Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": As a killer brought back to life after his electrocution, Lon Chaney, Jr. stumbles through a role which apparently has been patterned after his first monster thriller, _Man Made Monster_. As soon as he is released from his confines, the monster begins killing all those who sent him up the river way back when. Dreadful gangster story is heightened in sheer futility by a ludicrous "you are there" type narration describing the killer's moves as he makes them. 410 8/22/92 Hercules Against the Moon Men Pre: Crow and Servo run away from home/sand storm/DEEP HURTING! Inventions: J: Freak out MS: <none> (woven into tapestry of the movie) Skits: Boobie trap, 'Bots get implants/new tough-guy name, "Pants!" Post: Changing actors Credits: Additional Music: "Ode to Pants" Written and Arranged by Michael J. Nelson, Frank Conniff Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Hercules battles creatures from outer space while his audience battles nausea. When a country enslaved by moonmen and forced to undergo strange sacrificial rituals for the brigade of baddies from beyond cry out for help, Hercules gets miffed. 411 8/29/92 The Magic Sword Pre: Joel is caricaturist Inventions: J: Big Gulperets MS: Bio-hazard Clean-up Pillow Skits: Basil Rathbones (for dogs) Life in the Middle Ages "Ode on Estelle" Post: Curses on TV Credits: Additional Music: "Ode on Estelle" Written and Arranged by Michael J. Nelson, Paul Chaplin Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Fantasy filmmaker Bert Gordon's finest achievement. George, a lowly subject and the stepson of an elderly witch named Sybil, has long been the admirer of the kingdom's beautiful princess. When evil sorcerer Lodac kidnaps the girl to feed his pet dragon, George tricks his stepmother into revealing what magical treats she has cooked up for his twenty-first birthday. Locking mother dear in the basement, George collects his wondrous assortment of gifts (a magic sword, six of the bravest warriors in the history of the earth and a magic horse) and sets out to save the princess. Along the way he meets vampire hags, giant ghouls, deadly swamps and the ever- popular dragon. Confronting Lodac in his castle, George is surrounded by misshapen pinheads, dwarfs and a race of tiny people no more than six inches tall. Masterful fairy tale. 412 9/12/92 Hercules and the Captive Women Pre: Gypsy joins the experiment. Inventions: MS: Lawn-baby J: The Womb-mate Skits: Good natured brawling A History of Hercules Hercules Action Figure Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Hercules visits the lost city of Atlantis and gets lost among the Amazons currently inhabiting the struggling, sinking city. Matching wits with the evil queen, battling live-giving rocks, Hercules escapes. Don't you wish you were that lucky? (Also known as _Hercules and the Conquest of Atlantis_.) 413 9/19/92 Manhunt in Space (General Hospital #1) Pre: Servo is color blind Inventions: MS: "Utne Reade" Neo-Salon Bean Bag Pants J: Paper recyled clothes Skits: Soap opera "Space" modifier Winky visits Calls from home Post: Crow is guitar, Servo is amp/Mads can't get up Credits: Winky: Michael J. Nelson 414 9/26/92 Tormented re: Crow, Servo and Gypsy in ventilation shaft Inventions: J: Aunt C/Katherine Wheel MS: Drinking Jacket Skits: Joel's fallen from shaft Pop singers to drop from a lighthouse 'Bots are bodiless Post: Happy thoughts and good things 415 11/25/92 The Beatniks (General Hospital #2) Pre: Rock, Scissors, Paper Inventions: MS: Good luck Troll Costumes J: Pocket Pool Skits: These people aren't beatniks! Tont Travis: Teen-bot idol I'm Going to Make You a Star! Post: Is "dickweed" a swear word? Crow in moon mode. 416 11/25/92 Fire Maidens of Outer Space Pre: Proper Posture--Crow's New Friend Timmy Inventions: MS: The Big Checkbook J: Nike Airchilada Skits: Double Entendre The Twin-Screw Universal Controller Timmy - He's got to go Post: They're still sitting around!--letter--Timmy finds a new home Credits: Timmy: Jef Maynard Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": More film flop. Fantastically abysmal production values equalled, if not surpassed, by totally outrageous plot. Space explorers meet a tribe of lost women and a few robots who menace everything in sight while classical music drones on in the background. Talk about cultural commitment. 417 11/28/92 Crash of the Moons (General Hospital #3) Pre: GRIT Salescrow Inventions: MS: Deep 13 Toothpaste J: Rock 'n Wreck Guitar Skits: "The Gypsy Moons" Banner Grams Another Teleplay by Crow T. Robot Post: Visit from John Banner Credits: John Banner: Michael J. Nelson Additional Music: "The Gypsy Moons" Written and Arranged by Michael J. Nelson, lyrics by Bridget Jones Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": Another bunch of Rocky Jones television rejects spliced into a stew of space sap. 418 12/5/92 Attack of the Eye Creatures Pre: Tom and Crow are *friends* Inventions: MS: Router Ouiji Board J: Funny Gag Fax Skits: Tom Servo analyzes "making out" Earl Holliman! The Rip Taylor Trio (Because it's FUNNY!) Post: They just didn't care. Credits: Larry Buchanan: Michael J. Nelson Notes: "Larry Buchanan" Profile from Re/Search: Incredibly Strange Films: "...During the latter half of the sixties, Buchanan was hired by AIP to make eight made-for-television movies-- for which he is best remembered. The first, The Eye Creatures, is a remake of the Ed L. Cahn sci-fi comedy, The Invasion of the Saucer Men. Most of ths subsequent AIP-television films were also remakes of previous AIP films, among them: Creature of Destruction, Year 2889, and the unforgettable Mars Needs Women. "These films were made on the lowest budgets imaginable. Some of them used the same rubber monster costume. The most meorable is Zontar, The Thing from Venus, a remake of Roger Corman's 1956 classic It Conquered the World... "Buchanan is noteworthy for his paranoia. A firm believer in almost any conspiracy theory, he's made several movies purporting to tell the "truth" about subjects that the government (or Hollywood) have hushed up... [Down On Us], manages to ties the deaths of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison into a weird anti-rock conspiracy plot." 419 12/12/92 The Rebel Set (Johnny at the Fair) Pre: Joel reads scarey bedtime stories Inventions: MS: TV's Frank's Quick Primp Kit J: Paint-by-number Mark Rathko Skits: Crow's acting lessons What would you do in Chicago? Merritt Stone Post: Who is Merritt Stone? Notes: Edward Platt ("The Chief" from "Get Smart" plays a beatnik criminal mastermind. 420 12/26/92 The Human Duplicators Pre: Redesigning the 'bots/Mads have the sillies Inventions: J: Beanie-Chopper (should have gone through the roof) MS: William Conrad Fridge Alert Skits: Spaceship craft project Servo duplicates himself Hugh Beaumont attacks Post: 'Bots admit to being robots Credits: Hugh Beaumont: Michael J. Nelson William Conrad: Kevin Murphy Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": A scientist sets up a mad lab to create a race of androids. Enter a giant from space to lend a not-so-helpful hand in the project and things get interesting (hopefully). 421 1/9/93 Monster A-Go-Go (Circus on Ice) Pre: Blessed are the Cheesemakers Inventions: MS: Johnny Long Torso J: Non-violent Action Figures Skits: Gypsy doesn't "get" Crow. Keep-away. That Pina Colada Song Post: Tom, the Hap-py King! Notes: "Monster A-Go-Go" is credited to Bill Rebane, but the truth is far more EVIL!!!! Herschell Gordon Lewis made his mark by inventing the Gore film in the early 60's with "Blood Feast", "2000 Maniacs", and "Color Me Blood Red". But he made lots of films for Southern drive-ins, and one of these was a little hillbilly action flick called "Moonshine Mountain". He needed to get the film out fairly quickly, but he also needed a second feature for it. He searched around and found that Bill Rebane had been making a film called "Terror At Half Bay", and had run out of money. Lewis bought it, and discovered he had 100,000 feet of nothing. Some sequences were done but there was very little connecting footage. He shot closeups of hands, feet, people walking down halls, ANYTHING to get this one to hang together. He redid the dialogue <such as it was> and added the crummy narration. Using the name "Sheldon Seymour", Lewis did the new dialogue, narration, and editing. Dubbing it "Monster-A-Go-Go", he foisted this puswad onto the public, and it actually did quite well down south, with "Moonshine Mountain". 422 1/16/93 The Day the Earth Froze (Here Comes the Circus) Pre: Family Portrait Inventions: J: Snaction MS: Unhappy meals Skits: Ideas for a Clown Act What, I implore you, is a sampo? Gypsy: A One-Woman Show Post: Delicately wafting scents borne by the wind--letter Credits: "Gypsy Rose Me" Written and Arranged by Michael J. Nelson, lyrics by Mary Jo Pehl Notes: From "Horrors from Screen to Scream": A Swedish fantasy with some fine photographic wonders but a mixed bag of a plot. Hampered by a low budget and wooden characters, the film should appeal to the kids. A witch orders the sun not to rise and earth is turned into a ball of ice. Valiant heroes and a machine known as the "sampo" combat this Wizard of Oz reject. --- Michael Grubb 423 Bride of the Monster (Hired!) Pre: Watching Crow's dream Inventions: MS: Tough Love Seat J: Microwave Faith Popcorn Skits: "Hired!" by the SOL Community Players Monsters of the Sea A World Without Advertising Post: Re-edit of the final scene--letter Credits: Camera: John Finley "Hired! Song" written and arranged by Micheal J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy This episode dedicated to the spirit of William A. Murphy. Thanks, Dad. 424 Manos: Hands of Fate (Hired!) Pre: Wonderful Joel Inventions: MS: Chocolate Bunny Guillotine J: The Cartuner Skits: The scenic tour Frank apologizes Scary exaggerated features Joel: the Master of Darkness Forrester apologizes Post: Lady wrestling game/Torgo's pizza delivery