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1994-12-07
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Path: usenet.ee.pdx.edu!cs.uoregon.edu!reuter.cse.ogi.edu!uwm.edu!spool.mu.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!pipex!uunet!not-for-mail
From: tangnes@gribb.hsr.no (Tangnes, Engebret)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.archives
Subject: LIST: Last Words 2
Followup-To: rec.games.frp.misc
Date: 6 Dec 1994 08:59:11 -0500
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=================================================================
FAMOUS LAST WORDS Updated: 22-nov-1994
=================================================================
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Last Quotes: (18)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
DM: You are standing before the gates of the temple.
The temple is old and decaying.
Player: What do the gates look like?
DM: They are made of finely polished copper, bright and shiny.
There are a lot of animal skeletons scattered on the
ground near the gates.
Player: Must be magical. I'll pull out my sword, and push
the gates open with the tip.
Gates: BBBZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
Player: What was that???
DM: The million volts of electricity in the gates.
(The DM like to make electrified traps in
dungeons, but he always give clues. This player
didn't pay attention to the clues of polished
copper gates, dead animals, and the rest of the
temple was falling apart. Well, at least he was
right about them being magical. Don't worry, the
other PCs chipped in to get him raised).
---
Astone gloem? i draw my sword and hit it.
One very good way to lose a sword prob the best i have seen.
He got out by the way . & I kept telling him he had tickled the golem.
---
One last thing in one of the groups that i played with last year a char
had to seducea femail in order to get a item HE DID and very well to.
But he seemed to have forgotten that this was a ADVANCED TECH GAME.
quote "BUG WHAT BUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The poor guy had to give us a blow by blow detailed account of what he had done,
it was his face that was the funny thing.
------
***** Borik's Rules To Live By (Or Else Die By) *****
6. Ogre Mages need to lighten up on the Cones of Cold.
7. Mages should never be allowed to cast Fireball.
8. Don't fire a lightning bolt in a 10x10x10 room
unless you have a Cube of Force.
9. You CAN make an eyeball pop in two rounds.
10. Disintegration works best if you don't roll a 20.
-------
WISH....
While this may not be earth-shattering, it did mess things up a bit. A
certain character who loved killing orcs happened upon a wish. His wish?
"I wish I had more orcs to fight." The DM immediately took this one and
flew with it. The player thought the wish was worded quite well (given
20-30 seconds to do so). However, instead of merely encountering a
larger percentage of orcs, there were suddenly more orcs...
-------
GADGETS
Ahh, yes, gadgets. I played DC Heroes once, the 1st Ed, I think. My friend
was playing the Batman. He was plummetting to a grisly death, kicked out of
a helicopter 40 stories up. We explained the Omnigadgets to him.
"You've got type C Omnigadgets in your utility belt! Pull one out,
it can be whatever you want!"
"Anything?"
"Nearly anything. Quick! Use an Omnigadget!"
"Okay, I pull out an Omnigadget."
"What do you want it to be?"
"A cup of tea."
"???? Tea?"
"Orange Pekoe Bat-tea."
Well, he was a Bat-splat shortly thereafter.
-----
5th level Paladin, mounted in splint mail, medium lance, facing
an advancing column of field plated lanceman;
"Bring it"
one round till death.
-----
Just last week I had an unfortunate player awaken from unconscious-
ness (i.e. 0 hp) and proceed to follow some of the other party members who
were checking out a disturbance in the surrounding woods...
Shane: I see goblins? I climb the nearest tree.
Daniel: Me too.
Me: Okay, after a short while they notice Elie (Daniel) and
begin to congregate about the base of the tree. One
of them kneels down and rammages through his sack.
Kaerin (Shane), you see a few short flashes of light
around the goblins hunched over form. It would seem
that he has a light torch now. By the way, how many
of you have seen or read _The Hobbit_?
...Various exclamations of woe...
Daniel: I jump out of the tree onto one of the goblins.
Me: You jump out of the tree... into the goblins?
Daniel: Yea.
Me: Okay...
Shane: Uh, Daniel, how high were you?
Daniel: Oh no!
Elie: AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH...........
<horrible squishing noise>
---
My players came upon a crypt with a mummified body in it and
the thief was telling one of the fighters:
"Poke it! It's dead, what is it going to do?"
The mummy came to life and almost wiped out the party.
This thief also has a bad habit of failing his find traps role. He spends
a lot of time taking a so-called 'dirt-nap' and monopolizing healing
spells from the two priests.
---
The huge red dragon is flying toward me with his mouth open? Ok, I roll
for initiative with my bastard sword.
What if we drained this fountain that acts as a portal to the elemental
plane of water with my bag of holding?.
Well, he's OK, Know Alignment works on anybod...
Oh, shit.
---
My elven mage, a human ranger, and a human assassin enter a huge
chamber filled with piles upon piles of bones and "awaken" three very angry
wraiths. The mage casts "Protection from Evil".
Ranger: Coward! There's only THREE of them!
(okay, we didn't die, but the assassin and mage both lost one experience
level and the ranger lost 3 levels)
---
The party's leader entered alone the room where the big bad guy we slayed
was. Couple of seconds later, we hear through the door:
"You can come, there's no danger anymore !(BOOM!!)"
-----
From a female PC (who [a] encouraged a deity of rape/pillaging to
possess one of his priests so they could [b] have sex
"Is that the best you can do?"
---
We came to a hall, about 15 feet high, with thousands of spikes
(2 feet long) fixed to the ceiling. Our self-confident priestess
entered the hall and walked about 5 feet towards the center and
told us:
"It's perfectly safe. The spikes won't come down."
She continued to walk and entered a few seconds later a zone of
Reverse Gravity...
---
When crossing a swamp, the atmosphere starts to get ugly.
Worried by a very black pool, the group tarries and doesn't
want to continue. After an unsuccesfull attempt of our thief
to reach the pool, I (a mage!) walk towards it (through the
mud and quicksand), examine the black water and return, saying
"Relax, nothing was there..... ??? What are you looking at?"
How about a large black dragon?
---
This is from a dwarven cleric in my long time gaming party. The assignment
was dealing with clearing a graveyeard which had been sprouting all kinds of
nasty surprises. He had gone ahead of the main party to check something
out...
"You see what looks to be a large flaotingp ball, with a a large central eye,
and severl stalks with small eyes at the end. The things gaze is upon you,
though it's not moving in your direction"
"Bah! It's just a gas spore!"
Well, atleast the party had some items to remember him by after the
distigration hit.
----
"Splat"
Me, right after a two-headed troll decided that the party mage would be a very
good club.
----
Here's an old one that i actually was able to use the other day
"What do you mean a 'herd of Terrasque' ?"
We did not survive.
BTW, a kender had gotten hold of a gnomish cloning device. That is bad enough
without the Tarrasque.
----
"Drow have no sense of humor." --The Dragonfly,
after being slain by the dark Elf Zik for making fun of his name: "I am Zik."
"How Zik are you?"
(Insert Lightning Bolt Here)
Engebret Tangnes, HIS, Stavanger, Norway
================================= EOF ===============================