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From: [e-mail] (Eric Reaves)
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Subject: STORY: Wasted Knights (part 6)
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Date: 26 Jan 1996 14:14:36 -0500
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WASTED KNIGHTS IN NEHWON  (part 6)

In which the tattooed lady carries off an old fuss pot, Bandit meets
convivial fellows, a new wrinkle is added to Talon's brow and a restful
ocean cruise turns out to be a very moving experience.

DISCLAIMER:
This story is provided purely for your entertainment.  There are no real
people depicted in this, nor is there a lesson to be learned, and anyone
trying to read elements of moral, intellectual or allegorical intent into
it will be tracked down and killed or forced to join the gaming group whose
efforts to avoid reality through Role Playing are generating this fable.

Trademark Stuff:
Nehwon, Lanhkmar, and Assorted Names of Characters, which when first
referenced, are indicated with (tm), were created by Fritz Leiber. The story
itself has been transcribed from the interaction generated during play of
several "Lanhkmar" modules created by TSR.  The copyright is owned by
Eric Reaves, Lori Reaves and probably various other folk that had a hand in
playing the games, as well as MPGN, which is where Nehwon lives in the
meeting rooms.  No association or representation with TSR or MPGN of any
type is implied nor is to be inferred from mention of their creations in
this work.  You may not copy this if you are going to sell it, nor may you
modify it for any reason if you do copy it to distribute to other people
that have not seen it yet.

Characters:

Talon :  Big/Huge Northerner (barbarian race) with decidedly martial air.
Uses 2 long swords and wears chain mail.  Has decided ideas of honor, which
don't necessarily match what anyone else might expect.

Basher:  Big/Huge Northerner (barbarian race) wearing gladiator half armor
and bearing 2 shortswords he calls drususes (drusi?).  The original tank
warrior.  All brawn and no whatever that other organ is that fighters don't
need.

Minneatonabal: Mingol warrior wearing chain mail with a bow, shield and
saber.  Medium height and very agile.  Sarcastic and bitter much of the
time, yet of a higher moral character than some other folk who will remain
nameless.
Oh, and of course Bill.  Her bosom companion, trusty mount and hell of one
BIG Buffalo.  He is probably the most reasonable member of the group.
Certainly the most stable.

Bandit: Smallish dark skinned attractive Kleshite. He carries a number of
daggers and wears no armor. Very nervous disposition and very sickly.  He
seems to have a cold most of the time. Obnoxious is a good word for him
despite his physical attractiveness.

(NPC)
Kaniia: Muscular maiden wearing ring mail with a big ax.  She is very
earnest, if not very bright.  She is also one of the major priests of a
minor deity named Adjlar.

(NPC)
Glavis Rho:  Eevanmarenseer - hairless, tattooed, medium sized.
Uses daggers and shortsword and wears leather armor.

(NPC)
Elbert:  (I Don't remember his race, think it was) Northerner.
Uses daggers and shortsword and wears leather armor.

During our last episode, we had some troubles in the woods.  We overcame
them, even if we were slightly the worse for wear, and emerged from the
forest onto the rolling grain fields of Lankhmar.  We certainly felt
better about traversing the open fields than the forest.  We thought (if
not provably, at least demonstrably) that it would be much harder to
hide an ambush out in the open than it was in among the trees.

Since we were all pretty banged up, we thought, "Hey, why not pay
another visit on Fussphot?  I am sure he will be glad to see us by now!"

(OK, so that wasn't EXACTLY what we were thinking.  The effect was still
the same.)  We arrived at his little flower covered cottage, where we
found no one at home.  The place was empty, the bed unmade and it was
the quintessential picture of the home (now hastily abandoned) of a
simple hedge wizard.  The only people around were some farmers in the
fields nearby.

Talon waved at them and began throwing large amounts of our smallest
coins out the back of the wagon.
Minn asks, "What are you doing, Talon?"
Talon Yells to the farmers that he is throwing money on the road for
them.
Minn asks,  "Why?!"
Talon says,  "Its the returning Hero thing to do..."
## Talon is still living in his fantasy, as you can tell.
Talon says, "and we just killed a big monster."
Bandit asks, "Minn, would you ride over on Bill and question that
nearest farmer about the wizard?"
Bandit says, "I would go but I gotta walk. :-("
Minn exclaims, "Lazy!", but then does it anyway.

The farmer tells Minn that a lovely, if somewhat kinky looking lady 6
feet tall, with brown hair and brown eyes, wearing very few clothes,
lots of tattoos over most of her body, lots of jewelry, big feathered
wings and long pointy ears had come to visit Fussphot.  She had spent
the night with him and neither was there the next morning.

For the next three days, the group rode toward the city.  The three
injured folks rested in the bed of the wagon, trying to heal as much as
possible.  Since the wagon was a little small for all 3 to lie in, they
would swap out with each other, so each only got 2 days of full rest.

Talon: "Not me.  I am resting all the time.  I am injured and have to
see a certain man when we arrive in the city.  I need to be at full
strength to do so."

OK, so Minn and Kaniia swapped out with each other, each receiving a day
and a half.  (Sheesh!)

As they approached the city gates, Talon exited the wagon, mounted his
horse and rode toward the end gate.  The rest of the group argued about
the best way to approach the city, whether by stealth or night or
whatever.  After a while, they realized Talon was well ahead of them and
not slowing down.

## The End gate, on the SE corner of the city, is NOT used by wagons,
for any reason at all, even with a big bribe.  Only important officials
MIGHT be able to do so.

Talon says over his shoulder,  "Stay behind me at some distance. If they
nail me... bail out and come in during the night."

A guard approaches Talon and says, "Wagons, have to go through the grand
or the grain gate..."
Talon whispers to the guardsman
Guard says, "Oh, I didn't realize the importance of your mission.  Allow
me to personally escort you in."
Talon says, "Thanks Sir"
Guard exclaims, "Move aside, official business!"
Talon motions for the rest of the party to come along.

They are escorted through the gate, around the long line of people.
Some of the other guards look like they are about  to raise a point of
order but the first guard makes a strange gesture with his hands and
they nod their heads.

## Now did you catch all that? (grin.)  Like I said, he was the DARNDEST
dice roller I have ever seen.

There was some discussion about where to go next, the final resolution
of which was to go to Sheelba's place first.  Talon splits off from the
wagon and rides into the city while the wagon goes around Wall St. to
the marsh gate.  At the gate, Talon comes galloping back up to the
wagon... the gate guard doesn't even look up.

Talon pulls out something covered in an oiled cloth, about 3 -4 feet
long, and hands it to Minn to open.
Bandit: "nifty. an oil cloth covered something or other"
It was, of course, and exceptionally made saber of wondrous (but not
magical) properties, which Minn made appropriate ooh'ing and ah'ing
noises over.
Bandit says, "Ah, come on... It is just a hunk of steel.  If a little
better than most.
Talon mutters, "much better."
Bandit says, "we got business..."
Talon mumbles something about mages

And with that we headed through the marsh gate and on to the road
through the swamp.

Down the road a few miles, we came to a hut, standing on what appear to
be stilts, in the middle of the road.  A ladder dropped down, and we
climbed up.  Once again, the inside of the hut was much bigger than the
outside.  There was a tall figure in robes, with no face visible.  It
was, of course, Sheelba.

Sheelba seems to know about the wyrm already, and tells the party in a
voice that sounded like rocks rubbing together,  "All of Nehwon owes you
a debt that can never be paid."

Bandit says, "heh, I got a list..."
Minn gags Bandit and leaves him in Talon's charge.
Sheelba produces a gravely laugh, "You're learning Minn."
Sheelba says, "AND I see you made a name for yourself in the process."
Everyone kind of winces at this statement.
Bandit says, "Inntmm Mnnbb."
Minn says, "Well, if you  call having your name printed on wanted poster
making a name for yourself, yes I suppose we did."

There was a table with food and a punch fountain.  (... strange..., it
wasn't there earlier.)

Sheelba says, "well, being wanted is not a good thing in and of itself."
## I wonder many times a session whether being a practicing magician in
Nehwon makes you say stupid things, or if only people that say stupid
things become magicians.  So far, you have heard Bandit irritate
everyone with his stupidity.  As time goes on, you will understand that
Sheelba and Ningauble are no better.

Talon and Minn both eat and drink from the fountain..
Bandit asks, "Wnnam mnnb Mm?"

Minn says, "Would you be able to give us any information that would help
us clear our names?"
Bandit exclaims, "NNNN!"
Minn whispers to Talon, "How 'bout letting Bandit have something to
eat... (if he's good that is)"
Bandit exclaims, "NN Mnnnan Nmmmph!" and nods his head emphatically.
Talon picks bandit up , and sits him down at the table and undoes the
gag.
Sheelba says, "ah but if you had the gift of tongues"
## See what I mean?

Bandit glares at one and all.

Bandit says, "now,, what I was thinking.."
Minn says, "DON'T think, Bandit, EAT"
Sheelba says, "Even with them, I still can't understand what that wild
mage is saying"

After attaining a certain degree of repletion, everyone notices that all
wounds are healed and all weariness rested.

Bandit asks, "Say, Sheelba baby.. do you know any wild mages around here?"
## I think this guy LIKES torquing off important people and being
humiliated by them.  It seems he does it at every opportunity.

Minn says, "Time to replace the gag, Talon"
Talon Gags Bandit and tosses him out in the swamp.

Minn went down to the wagon and retrieved the empty healing potion
bottles.  She brought them back up & filled them from the fountain.

Bandit climbed back up the ladder, and tossed Talon a sheaf of
papers, then said, "Here is your diary Talon, you tossed me out there..
I assumed you wanted something.  Now, Sheelba baby, as we were saying,
do you know any wild mages around here?"

Minn says, "He's getting a jump start on being a thief by rummaging
through your stuff."
Talon says, "Well, I have nothing to hide...  But if he continues, I'll
break his arms. (Tough casting spells that way.)"

Somehow, some way, Talon retained enough control to avoid killing Bandit
right then while everyone else just shook their heads at this amazing
feat of self discipline.

It turned out that what Bandit wanted was a particular wild mage
spell... Alternate Reality.

A book (a huge tome) appeared in front of Sheelba.  The pages of which
turned magically, a parchment appeared and a pen above it and the pen
began to scribble on the parchment.

## Bandit made many more comments, I got so mad reading them again from
the log, I erased them.  Sorry, but you really didn't miss anything. ##

Minn: Is there such a thing as the "Helm of Solomon's Wisdom" we could
get him?
Sheelba says, "Only age can make him wiser."
Minn: (yeah, and experiences that WE are forced to share w/him!)

Bandit of course, has an entire LIST of spells he wants.
Minn says, "Well, Talon, if she hasn't turned him into a frog by now,
she must be amused by him for some reason!"
Sheelba says, "This will of course take a while, would you like anything
else while you are waiting?"
(Oh does he ever!)
Sheelba says, "now bandit, if you could write down a list of what you
want, I'll see what I can do for you.  It will take some time, but I'll
have them for you, as soon as I can. Delivered by parrot express if
necessary"
Bandit asks, "you mean the ENTIRE list?  all 55 of them?"
Sheelba asks, "Well, what can you offer me, for this "entire list" ?"
Bandit asks, "what do you want? I will do it.  You want the flute? here
it is."
Talon Gets out some knee pads and tosses them to bandit
!!Minn: (don't forget the tongue cleaners for all the boot kissing)
Sheelba says, "the flute is not yours to give."
Bandit: "Hm.. You want a wagon?  How about a bottle of bug spit?"
Sheelba says, "well when you can think of what you would consider a fair
price, for it, let me know.  My parrot is always standing by."

The pen stops writing and the scroll is handed to Bandit.

Everyone exits the hut, mounts their ride and makes their way back to
Lankhmar, where they move down the Street of the Gods to Silver Street
and the shop of Ogo the Blind(tm). A young woman with pale straight hair,
dark skin, overlarge eyes, a tiny chin and pouty lips answers the door.

Bandit asks, "Hello, is Ogo at home?"
Eyes says, "My name is 'The Eyes of Ogo'(tm), yes Ogo is in.  But only
two of you can enter, and you must conduct your business in complete
darkness as he considers such things an even advantage."
Talon says, "Eyes, we must all 3 enter.  2 of us are regular customers
and the 3'rd is a pain in the A**...he doesn't count."
Eyes says, "He will see as many as you want, but only two at a time."
Talon says, "OK...come along Bandit."

Bandit had some questions about thief training, which Ogo did not really
answer and Talon had some questions about magical weapons which Ogo did
not answer at all.  Ogo did provide some information about the items
they had found in the Bug Lair though.

Ogo says, "Ah this chalice appears to be from the church of Issek of the
Jug. It is not the actual chalice of Issek, but the quality is exquisite."

Ogo further says, "Ah a gold covered crystal ball, with figures of dragons
on it.  Such crystal alone is worth a kings ransom.  But the gold on top
makes it all the more prized."
Bandit says, "It is not magical.. so I assume it is merely for decoration?"
Ogo says, "Magical?  Not yet anyway. Some might make it so, one day."

Ogo finally says, "Ah the reliquary of Issek(tm), an arm reliquary no less.
A reliquary is any thing which holds the bones / stuff of a dead person/
saint/ etc.   Reliquaries are traditionally in the shape of the item
they hold, so the arm bones would be in an arm shaped reliquary."

They kept the Orb and sold the rest for a pile of gold coins as tall as
Bandit.  Well, taller than his conscience and shorter than his greed
anyway.

As they are leaving, Bandit says, "I bet Issek's temple would have paid
a LOT more... "
Talon says, "We could have taken it there, But.. I prefer not to barter
with a church.  Something not right (or safe) about that to me.
Besides, they might be offended that we wanted money for such a holy
thing. Let Ogo approach them and barter with gods.  I want nothing to do
with any such thing."

Next Talon really wanted to go visit Kelepho, but Bandit managed to
persuade him to wait until he had picked up a few thief skills, so
everyone made an early evening of the day.

Oh, I almost forgot, near Ogo's shop was a new type of store for Lankhmar.
It was called a "News Stand."

================================================
LANKHMAR TRIBUNE - ALL THE GOSSIP YOU CAN HEAR!

Lakes of Pleea:  Merchants traveling the Hlal river reported a fishing
village utterly destroyed.  No survivors were reported and no reasons
given for the deaths.  Merchants hinted at signs of fighting and a
funeral pyre.

Noble District:  Nobleman Kelepho Alzamexes was at it again, seeing the
Overlord for the third time about the assassination of an Ilthmar
diplomat and noble, Lord Rambleon, who was staying at his residence.  The
private audience lasted for over an hour and the Overlord was not pleased
when he left the meeting.  Meanwhile, Wanted posters for several
"suspects" of the assassination are being circulated by various guilds
who seem to have taken affront to the whole affair.  Rumors that the
Overlord himself was involved in the affair are just that, rumors!

Temple District:  Some of the temples on the South West side of the
street are reporting strange sightings at night.  Talk of the undead
rising from the graves is growing more common every day.

Temple District: The temple of the Rat God is strangely quiet. No
activity has been reported for days.  Oddly, few rats have been reported
either. Whether this is a result of a cat god or the gods of Lankhmar
doing to them what they did to Issek years ago is pure speculation.

LANKHMAR TRIBUNE - ALL THE GOSSIP YOU CAN (stand to) HEAR (and then some)!
================================================
## That sound of someone digging you hear in the background is Talon...
burying his "I am a hero" fantasy. ##

So they returned  to  the Silver Eel, after seeing  Ogo  the  Blind.
There they found  Braggi at the bar, who  engaged  them  in polite
conversation.  "Yes, your names were a  hot  item  a while  back, but
the commotion seems to  have  died down and now you guys are yesterday's
news."

The rest of the party retired early but Bandit stayed up late that
night,  talking  to  someone who seemed familiar.  Bandit had stumbled
into Elbert.  Well, maybe it was Elbert stumbling into Bandit, since he
was drunk and trying to pick Bandit's pocket.  Elbert appeared to be down
on his luck and drinking  heavily, almost as  though  he  had lost all
motivation. Bandit really had to think for a long time before he could
convince himself that the wanted THIS clown to train him.  After the
shouting and threatening had died down though, that was exactly what
they had agreed to.

Elbert's ears and eyes perked up again at the prospect Bandit had
offered.  He insisted  on introducing Bandit to some  people  in  the
guild  hall and he got a meeting for Bandit the day after the next there
in the Eel in a private back room.

The next day everyone went their separate ways.  Minneatonabal
apparently went to pick up some  items.  Basher went to pick up some
armor.  Bandit was gone for the day as well.  Strange  things, however,
seemed to go on throughout the  day.  Perhaps  it was because everyone
was paranoid, but  maybe THEY were after us after all.  Talon noticed
that his dog was behaving strangely,

## Bandit was kind enough to log the following for me.  Even though it
is not really group activity, I think it reveals something about the
Thieves Guild, so I included it.

## Just in case you have forgotten.
                  2
                  /---------|        1: Bones Alley
          1    ////dn    |  | XX     2: Plague Court
             D//  |      D  |        3: Latrine
           /| |   |----| |  |        4: Kitchen
          /3D |4  | 5  | |--|---|    5: Storage
        //oo| |   |    |  up| 6 |    6: Private Rooms
       /----- --D-----D-    D   |    7: Booths
       |   b                |   |    8: Dim Lane
       |   b  tt.t.t.tt.t.t |---|    b: bar
       |   b  ............. D 6 |    t: tables
       |   b  tt.t.t.tt.t.t |   |    .: open to balcony
       |   b  ............. |---|       on second floor.
       |   b  tt.t.t.tt.t.t | 7 |
     2 |   b  ............. |   |
       |      tt.t...tt.t.t     |
       |           b            |
       +---W--------D-------W---+
         8

The indicated evening of the interview, Elbert did indeed bring Bandit
into a (6) room.  It had been hung with tapestries on the walls.
(Probably for the sound deadening qualities, rather than the aesthetics.
Those things were uuugly.)  Dickon, (as Elbert introduced him,) the
interviewer for the thieves guild, was an elderly gentleman.

Dickon asks, "Well, my young man, why are you interested in joining our
esteemed membership?"
Bandit says, "I hate to work for a living, and figure there HAS to be a
better way."
Dickon says, "Well they say there are three types of people, one who
works for a living and gets nothing, one who never works for a living
and has everything..."
Bandit says, "that one sounds good."
Dickon says, "...and of course, those who get the initiative."
Bandit asks, "So anyway.. what do you offer for your members?
Unemployment, disability, bail?.. That kind of thing."
>Dickon says, "Well, there are always the facilities, the finest
training grounds I know of, you learn from the best and get involved
from the ground up on many interesting assignments."
Bandit looks at Elbert and says.. "That sounds good.."
Dickon says, "We have our own clinic and those injured in the line of
duty get additional benefits."
Bandit shmoozed, "This sounds better and better."
Dickon says, "As you start off, there are a lot of assignments, some of
them are training exercises.  All of them prepare you for the big jobs
to come. Elbert has told me that you dabble in the wizardly pursuits?"
Bandit says, "Well, wizardry is OK.. but it isn't really what I though
it was going to be.  Would there be any uh.. difficulties in pursing
sideline jobs of my own?  If they are cleared first, of course?"
Dickon says, "Well under guild law all proceeds are to be turned over
the guild which then distributes the base 30% cut to you."
Bandit says, "I could possibly provide some wizardly help to guild in
exchange for minor assistance."
Dickon says, "Well that is always a good way for promotion in the guild.
I was also thinking that you must have a clever mind to study magic.  A
good mind is helpful in planning."
## Good thing the tapestries were there and were very thick, the sound
of Minn and Talon's hysterical laughter would not have helped Bandit's
application at all.
Dickon says, "There are other duties, and stuff, but they are relatively
minor."
Bandit says, "Sounds good to me."
Dickon says, "I'll run  your application up to the membership
committee."
Bandit asks, "Does this 30 / 70 thing go for ALL methods of raising
income?  What happens if I have to take a REAL job for a day or so?
Will I need to fork over for that?"
Dickon says, "No this only covers thefts."
Bandit says, "You mean initiatives.. not thefts, I am sure.  Why I would
NEVER steal."
Dickon: "Ahem, er.. ah.. well yes, that was what I meant.  I will have
Elbert inform you when the apprentice ceremony is to take place"

## OK, so it wasn't as smooth as a time share salesman's presentation.
It still had many attractive aspects.

For this week, Talon occupied a table in the Silver Eel while others
were getting stuff, (Much DM dice rolling) Many people came in and
left... (!!DM: I could give you a couple of exciting events but I would
have to go through a bunch of "Ch***s" reruns to obtain enough stuff.)
Kaniia came in only occasionally, she was pretty busy getting the temple
back in shape after her absence.  Apparently, there were not many
worshipers for a god named Adjlar.

Talon soon knew all the bar flies by heart.  On the Second Day he saw a
familiar face walk in and go to the bar.
Talon: who who
!!Minn: where'd the owl come from?

He was clearly an Eveanmarenseer, bald, well tattooed and strangely
evil.
!!Talon: MY father? <EG>
!!DM: (mmm Glavis is your father - what a plot twist, seeing you are a
northerner)
!!Dark Helmet says, "I am your father's uncle's roommate Lone Star!

Talon gives a bar fly a coin, and sends her to retrieve Glavis
!!Bandit: nope.. bar flies are men. bar women are bimbos.
!!Minn: they're only bimbos if they go after bar flies.

Talon says, "Greetings Glavis...Good to see you are well."
Glavis exclaims, "Well, if it isn't the great Talon!"
!!Minn: looks like he doesn't remember you Talon.
Talon chuckles and says, "Please sit a bit.."
Glavis asks, "What can I do for you?"
Talon says, "I am hoping you can offer some insight on some things, like
that fact that I am wanted, who is behind it, and how the hell I take
care of it."
Glavis says, "Well, word on the street is that you were hired to do
some... Dirty work diplomacy, as it were, in an unsanctioned manner.
Some say the Overlord was involved and you were just a middle man... but
others think differently."
Talon asks, "So...what guilds have I pissed off? And can you set up some
meetings?"
Glavis says, "Well, mostly the Slayer's are upset."
Talon exclaims, "Ack!"
Glavis asks, "How much did you get for the hit anyway?"
Talon says, "I never did the hit"
Glavis exclaims, "You never ... I mean you didn't hit the Ilthmar
noble?!"
Talon says, "Nope....At this point I wish I did, I might have more of a
clue about what is going on."
Glavis asks, "Hmmm, quite odd.  Could it be that someone framed you?  If
so, that person has nerve."
Talon says, "Yes.. a nobleman... named Kelepho
Glavis says, "Yes he was the one who reported the assassination to the
authorities.  Word on the street has him seeing the overlord recently,
on the subject of your head and how good it would look mounted on the
city walls."
Talon says, "Hmmm. well, I would sure like a meeting with him.  He has
something of mine in his possession."
Glavis says, "Well if you can offer proof that someone else offed this
noble (the Ilthmarian) or that he never existed, then I'm sure the guild
will be more than happy to put you on their "good graces" list."
Talon says, "Ahhh, you have inside info into the Slayers Guild? that is
good.  I think a certain noble will
in the near future confess that he lied."
Glavis says, "Well be careful, noblemen are born liars, the rest of us
have to learn."
Talon asks, "Would you know if the nobleman Kelepho has increased his
guards?  And could you get me inside his house?"
Glavis says, "Word on the street is he has hired a 'special' guard.  And
I'll have the brotherhood stop actively looking for you for a week to
prove your case."
Talon says, "That would be excellent...thanks," then asks, "Special?
what's so special about the guard?"
Glavis says, "Don't know.  Spit and polish dude, fancy shield and
armor."
Talon says, "Yea.. sounds like a merc.."
## Only we all know Mercenaries don't dress this way, don't we? (G)
Talon asks, "Has he only hired one?"
Glavis says, "That's all I've heard of, but he might have hired some
other irregulars."
Talon says, "When I'm finished... HE will be irregular <EG>.  My thanks
for your help Glavis."


The next day, (Bandit having finally achieved first level thiefdom,)
everyone decides to pay a call on Kelepho.  Bandit applied some makeup
and a disguise.. and started calling himself Nightwing.  He was sort of
dark looking.  Black hair, coal black skin,
<Minn>: dum-de-dum-dum;
and a hat with a big raven feather in it.
Minn, seeing this says, "Great, just what we needed, a pimp."

After arguing about ingress for an hour or so, they went across town to
the estate of Alzamexes.  There they saw a lone figure wearing plate
mail armor (fancy stuff for THIS town) on guard at the gate, his shield
had some kind of funny picture painted on it.  A diagonal line, on the
upper right of which was a silver sun on a red field; on the lower left,
a green tree on a gold field; and at the top of the bisecting line, a
square with a gold chalice.

Bandit: "Let's see, it must mean, 'No sunshine in the forest.' "
Talon: "No, fool!  Anyone can see that is a moon and not a sun!  If you
drink enough moonshine, you will be planted under a tree."
Minn: "Hmph.. I bet it's just the first artwork his child did.  Lots of
parents hang their kids' drawings on the wall at work you know and I
think it is sweet of him for doing that."

Talon, liking his looks (and envying his armor) decided to approach him
directly.
Talon says, "Greetings Stranger"
ArmorAll says, "And greetings to you as well, for all are strangers when
first well met."
Talon asks, "May I ask your name?"
ArmorAll says, "Few people ask that of me.."
Talon says, "Consider me a minority"
ArmorAll says, "My name is Sir Shandlar of Eberyn, Knight of the Order
of Issek of the Jug.  And why do you come to the gates of this nobleman
with such evil intent in your hearts?"
Talon says, "This nobleman has falsely accused me of something of which
I have not done."
Talon lies some more, "and there is no Evil...Only sorrow that he has
not kept his bargain with me."
Sir Shandlar is actually interested in this, "Please tell me of such
matters, go on."
Talon says, "Some time ago, I was instructed by the Gods to come here
and retrieve an item from this house."
Sir Shandlar says, "sometimes it is wise not to follow the gods too
closely."

So Talon went on whining about how he had been done wrong and all that
had occurred since then... at least all that HE wanted anyone else to
know.

Sir Shandlar says, "ah then you were the man which he warned me was
probably out to kill him."
Talon says, "I don't lie to you when I say I would normally kill someone
who has done this to me, but right now, that isn't what I want. I am
here with the flute, and I want my bow back and my name cleared."
Sir Shandlar says, "I take it you claim you did not kill this said
noble...  You are in a fine pickle."
Talon says, "Perhaps you can assist me, in the name of justice."
Sir Shandlar says, "we must clear your name, but this will be hard."
Talon says, "so it seems."
Sir Shandlar says, "If this nobleman has lied about you then he will no
doubt lie again."
Talon says, "Yes.. I am sure."
Sir Shandlar says, "You must prove that this dead Ilthmarian either was
killed by another or never existed to uncover his lies."
Talon says, "I have no way of doing this."
Sir Shandlar says, "Well, if he was important in Ilthmar then there
would be records of him there, if not, then no records of him there.
Either way says something."
Talon says, "So, my path leads me to Ilthmar."
Sir Shandlar says, "The city of rats, an evil place to find truth my
friend."
Talon says, "Frankly.. I would rather squeeze the lie outa the man that
started it."
Sir Shandlar says, "Well, he could always retract it at a later date and
say that he was under duress, which he would have been. You will need to
get official proof, perhaps an Ilthmar emissary."

Shandlar takes the flute to return it to Kelepho and offers to pick up
Talon's bow.

Talon: "Well, I have nothing more to do with this Paladin or Knight.."
Nightwing: You don't want to attack and kill him?
Talon: I will not waste my time trying to kill him
Nightwing: "Hehee. probably a GOOD idea."
Talon (surly): "Hey.. You guys are always baggin me out cause I tend to
kill some folks..."
Nightwing: "At the drop of a hat or pop of a bubble."
Talon says, "I'll remember that next time, Ban.. er.. Nightwing."  Then
he grins.

The knight returned, "He seems to be a down right annoying fellow."
Nightwing asks, "Ah you survived the rigors of the grounds and the
hallways, huh?"
Sir Shandlar says, "He is a paranoid one.  He also won't pay me unless I
kill you, which is not only downright unlawful but evil as well."
Nightwing says, "Well carry us in to meet him.. I bet he will pay you
merely to let us out."
Sir Shandlar says, "No, for though his ways are corrupt,  I can not
condone evil to repay evil."
Nightwing says, "Hey! we wont hurt him. too much."
Sir Shandlar says, "If you do not hurt him, He will most assuredly hurt
you, and in self-defense come out smelling like roses."
Talon says, "I wont attack him."
Minn: "Unless...?"
Talon says, "I just want to tell him to his face how I feel, then I will
be off."
Minn asks, "What's that going to accomplish?  Wouldn't we be better off
getting on with proving our innocence?"
Sir Shandlar exclaims, "Truly said M'lady!"
Talon says, "It will let me speak to his face, and see the fear in his
eyes."
Sir Shandlar says, "I have told him of your accusations.  As a result of
that, I seem to be without employment at the moment and would be willing
to come with you to Ilthmar."

So, they all decided to head out to Ilthmar on the morrow.  Talon, of
course, continued several minutes heaping vituperation upon a fellow
with so little honor as this Kelepho had shown while they walked back
toward the Eel.

Nightwing asks, "So, are we riding or taking the wagon again?"
Nightwing exclaims, "Lets get a carriage!  With chrome fenders.. and a
little doggy going bob.. bob..  bob.. in the back window."
Minn says, "Nah, too conspicuous and too much money.  Plus I have never
seen a carriage that floats.  We will have to check out the ship
captains tomorrow."
Nightwing: "BOAT! We have to go in a BOAT!  Oh, No, I cant swim!"
Sir Shandlar says, "That's OK, ships swim for you."
Bandit asks, "Is there no way to go by land?"
Sir Shandlar says, "Not really.  There is a land bridge which people may
try to cross, but it sinks into the sea from time to time and you also
have to pass through the swamps as well."

Minn was worried about how to get Bill over to Ilthmar.  (## Having a
beast this size is convenient for the outdoor fights, but sometimes it
makes it hard in other ways.)  Since it is the custom of Mingols to
include a stall for a horse in every boat, no difficulty with passage
was foreseen.  Well, then again...

Minn says, "Well, we have a horse, buffalo, and a dog...not to mention
Bandit."
Shandlar says, "The dog would be no problem, but I think either the
horse or the buffalo, but not both.  Besides, we will be in the city
mostly, no need for long riding."
Minn exclaims, "Uh, oh.  Things are gonna get nasty if Talon wants to
bring his horse!"
Shandlar reminds Minn, "There are good stables around here."
Bandit says, "The horse can sleep with Talon... he will be fine. Besides,
as much as he paid for the nag, he OUGHT to get some benefit from it."
Shandlar says, "Well, I suggest we all get a good night's sleep,
tomorrow will be a busy day."

The next day, everyone arose, broke their fast and went over to the
docks, where (of course) Talon and Minn BOTH insisted on bringing their
animals along.  But before that...

Talon: "OK bandit.. when this guy's not looking... stick him with one of
those poison daggers."
Bandit shows Talon the two specially prepared (but empty) dagger sheaths.
Talon grins.
Bandit: "It is a nifty sort of dip-n-stick setup."
Minn: "Well, one dip stick should certainly know another one."

## Just brought that up for you to compare with Talon's attitude toward
things when he is on the GIVING vs. the RECEIVING end of business.

They all wandered down to the South Docks on the River Hlal.  There Sir
Shandlar marched up to the captain of one of the boats that was
unloading.  They had a great discussion on fares, sailing times and
cargo.  The ship's name was the "Squid" and its pilot's name was Slinoor.

Slinoor asks, " So you want to go to Ilthmar?"
Talon: "Yes.. we want to go, and we will need to take our animals as
well.  What will the passage cost and when are you leaving?"
Slinoor says, "Well, It's like this, I run a trading ship, not a luxury
yacht, so accommodations are rather crew like."
Minn says, "That doesn't matter as much as us all fitting on board
safely."
Slinoor says, "I'd say 20 gold riks per person one way."
Minn asks, "What about for the animals?"
Slinoor asks, "what type of animals?"
## I deleted the interesting but irrelevant scene where everyone begins
counting animals.
Minn: "1 horse, 1 buffalo, and a dog..."
Slinoor says, "yeech"
Minn: "Unless you wanna count the Bandit."
Slinoor says, "The dog is no problem, but the hold can fit only two
horses safely, and that creature is a durn sight bigger than a horse.
{he thought for a moment, in which you could see the gold glinting in
his eyes) Well I *might* be able to get them into the hold,  but it will
be a darn tight fit."
Bandit: "Uhm.. is there a possibility of.. (shiver) .. pirates?"
Slinoor says, "Always a possibility"
Bandit says, "I just hate pirates."
Minn says, "Hush, Bandit"
Slinoor: Of course they could be on strike, along with the entire league.
## Oops, that was OOC.
Minn asks, "So what are you saying about the hold?"
Minn:  "Talon, will your horse be OK in the same hold w/Bill?"
Talon says, "Sure.. I'll make him promise not to hurt Bill"
Minn asks Slinoor, "How much?"
Slinoor says, "Well, this will have to replace good cargo which can be
worth quite a lot of money to our voyage...  I'd say if you want them,
about 300 gold coins"
Minn: TOTAL?
Slinoor: "The 300 coins was just for the horses!"
Bandit asks, "You guys sure you want to carry these expensive creatures?
(I wonder if we can get a potion of shrinking from Sheelba.)"

After some more excruciating bargaining....
Slinoor: "One horse one Buffalo and 4 people = 280."
Minn exclaims, "Come on, surely you can do better than that!"
Talon: ** just give him the money.
Minn asks, "Say 180?"
Bandit says, "Min.. just pay the man.  So we can get this show on the
road."
Slinoor: OK, I'll be generous and say 250
Bandit says, "Or on the boat. rather."
Minn asks, "Generous? How 'bout 220?"
(EVERYONE): "PAY HIM MINN!  Just Give Him The Money!  We Don't Care
Anymore!"

And they all boarded the boat.

Slinoor: "Well if you pay for the return trip in advance 450."

I SAID, They ALL boarded the boat!

Minn coaxes Bill onto the boat.  Talon brings his horse and dog.
Bandit says, "oh, well. if we shipwreck.. we will at least have steaks
to eat."
Minn brandishes her saber at Bandit, "We'll have you for dinner first,
you little rat."
Bandit became a vagitarian.

The ship was an average merchant vessel, although geared for more speed
than normal. The decks were covered with tarps and boxes of all sorts.
There was a fair amount of cargo both on and below decks.

It headed out to open sea, the waters were not really rough, but the
ship did go up
and down
up
and down
up
and roll d20's everyone
(Everyone): Groan!
Both Bandit and the Paladin failed their saves and turned green.

DM: Bandit roll another d20
Talon laughs and offers Bandit a greasy pork chop.

DM: OK, Bandit makes it to the edge of the ship in time to offer his
sacrifice to the sea goddess.
DM: Talon and Basher are queasy but OK
Minn hands Sir Shandlar a pair of bracers and suggest he put them on.
(## These were funny little things with strange bumps in various places.
Non-magical, but good for what ails you.  At least at sea.)
Minn: "Don't get TOO attached to them, it is a loan, not a gift."

Night fell, those who felt like eating ate with the crew.
Talon eats
Bandit says, "urk"
For some reason, the crew seemed to avoid Minn.
Talon: ** they're smart
Bandit says, "Let me die."
Talon asks a crewman why they avoid Minn.
CrewMan says, "Been told to sir.  Don't want to give the wrong
impression sir."
Talon says, "Wrong impression? relax.. and don't call me sir.. My name
is Talon"
CM says, "Not really, it's just not done on this ship.  The captain
won't tolerate that sort of thing.  He calls it slavery.  Now some
ships, especially the mingol ones, will always have a lass on the ship
who belongs to the Captain,"
Talon says, "They switch captains a lot I hear." Then laughs at his joke.
CrewMan (not laughing) says, "But her hands are for the crew."
Minn says, "Just as well they avoid me then, and they'll be a lot
happier at the end of the voyage too!" then does a really EVIL grin at
the crewman.
CrewMan: "Well as long as the captain makes short voyages."

So, with that bit of deck theater out of the way, they all retire for
the evening.
!!Bandit: *can bandit sleep?
!!Talon: sure...Ill choke him out...
!!Minn: After that conversation, don't you mean, 'can Minn sleep"?

Everyone locked their cabin doors,  the ship rocked to the gentle motion
of the waves.

Everyone searched for hidden doors or other unseen troubles in their
cabin,  the ship rocked back and forth, back and forth.

Everyone slept lightly, the ship pitched to and fro on the rocking breast
of the ocean.

Bandit puked his guts out.

Back and forth
THUD!
Back and forth
BLAM!
Back and forth
Bandit:  "Oh why can't I die and end this..."
Minn asks groggily, "What's going on?"
THUD
Talon opens his door, then climbs up to the deck, Minn following right
behind.
Clang Clang Clang,    "All hands on deck!"
Talon pokes his back below deck for a moment, "Bandit, you just might
get your wish!"

The ship was shaking violently with each passing THUD from the large
things that look like giant gristly tree trunks, only flexible and
covered with little discs.  These things, which looked more and more
like tentacles as the party stared in shock, horror and fear, were
slamming on the deck and the rigging and the sailors.  They would fasten
on for a moment and rip out or off whatever they were fastened to, and
pull the debris into the water.

The captain was chopping at one of the things with an ax,
Talon says, "Captain... looks like you got a giant squid here... I would
like to help, but, since we PAID you so much money to take us to Ilthmar,
I assume you can handle this."
Slinoor exclaims, "Giant Squid my @SS, it's a Leviathan, we need all the
help we can get!"
Minn: "Bandit, do something, make it think it hears it's wife calling
for it..."
Bandit: "I don't think I can cast a spell rite now."
Bandit ran over to Minn, and anointed her saber with a whole bottle of
the poison from the forest girl.

Leviathan slammed the ship three times for [rolls (3d10) : 5+10+3 =] 18
points of STRUCTURAL damage.
## Now this is pretty scary, I believe the ship only had 40 or 50
structure points it could take before breaking up.

Talon sat somewhere away from all the fighting and watched his comrades.
Then, seeing how the battle was going looked for a life boat.
Bandit: Your 1800 GP horse will drown.. and so will Bill.
This gets his attention and Talon asks, "Slinoor.. You ever fought one
of these?"
Minn says, "And won?"
DM says, "Yes and they are tough.  Once."
Talon calls Sir Shandlar to the battle.
DM: OK, who is attacking
Minn: me
Talon: I will not attack this round, I will watch the captain and the
paladin.
Minn is sure Talon's head is full of cement
Everyone missed, except the Paladin, he hit (with an 8) doing 11 pts of
damage.
The battle raged on into the next round.

Bandit lost the init this time, and one tentacle struck Shandlar doing
[rolls (4d10) : 10+3+10+3 =] 26 hit points of damage.
Minn hit this round doing 12 pts, plus 30 for the poison coated onto her
blade.

Talon finally wakes up and asks, "Dam that squid is hitting AC -1 on a 7?"
Minn asks, "Helloooo, Talon.  Where you been?"
Talon: "I have been watching the battle."
!!Talon: ** Jerry rice just broke the ALL time record for TD's
!!Minn exclaims, "If this squid sinks us, I'm gonna come put my foot
thru your TV!"
!!Talon: ack!  OK.. I will hit the tentacles.

Bandit actually won the init this round and,
Bandit ran to the newly motivated Talon... who didn't have time to get
his blade coated with poison.
!!Talon: what AC we hitting?
!!DM: -1
!!Talon: great

Shandlar hits for 11, Talon hits for 13, and everyone else misses.
Levi hits Minn for 16, Shandlar for 22 the other 6 tentacles hit a crew
member each and drag them overboard.  The mast, with a great shattering
screech, broke off and fell overboard, fouling the deck with loose
rigging...

DM: everyone make a saving throw
## You just gotta hate hearing that after a while.

Talon and Bandit failed and were knocked down.  Slinoor and Shandlar
made the saving number and Minn...
*Minn rolls (1d20) : 1 = 1
Because she rolled real good <G> can take 2d10 points MORE damage..
!!Minn: what about my tumbling skill?
!!DM: Roll, but you are under huge minuses
*Minn rolls (1d20) : 3 = 3
!!DM: good enough NO DAMAGE MINN!
!!Minn: good, I would have had 8 points left!

Minn through a display of acrobatics not seen in a long while, dodged
out of the way of the falling mast, which landed on the tentacle
attacking her, doing 17 hp of damage to the creature.

Bandit actually won the init on THIS round too! ( ## Those dice were hot
that night! 2 times in a game!)
Bandit tries to poison one of Talon's blades, but the DM is having none
of it..

!!DM: Talon did not stop and let you poison the blades

So, Minn hit for 9, Talon hit twice for 35 total, Shandlar hit for 7,
Slinoor hit for 8.

The creatures massive, if somewhat ragged looking, tentacles slid
swiftly into the water and disappeared.  Apparently 154 hp of damage got
it's attention.

They looked to see if there were any crewmen hurt.  There weren't,
either they didn't get hit or they died.  Sir Shandlar insisted on
healing Minn some, even though he was by far the worse hurt.

Shandlar put his hands on Minn,
Bandit asked, "You aren't going to slap  him?"
Shandlar exclaimed, "By the power of Issek of the Jug, be healed!"
Talon says, "Guess we can all put our hands on her these days."
Minn says, "I've got enough brains to know when someone's trying to help
me.  And as for you?! Not a chance, Talon!"
Shandlar restored 18 hit points to Minn.  Well, 16 anyway.
Shandlar exclaims, "Thank Issek!"

Talon: My horse OK?
DM rolls some dice
DM: yes your horse is OK
Talon: OK.. that makes me happy

The captain was quite thankful for saving the ship, while the crew was
trying to patch the leaks as best as they could. Most of the cargo that
used to be tied on deck, was no longer on deck.

Our heroes, being the generous minded souls they were, cut right to the
important matters...

Minn: is he grateful enough to refund our $$?
Talon, sensing a possible advantage, asked, "What would a ship like this
cost?"
Slinoor: "This ship originally cost 7000 gold rilks."
Talon acted like he wanted to obtain this ship for a while, but nothing
happened during this session to bring that to completion.  At least
nothing that anyone saw.

The average standard crew of a Coaster class ship is 20 to 30 men. Since
this was a small Coaster, there were 20 crew members at the start of the
voyage. After the battle, 12 crew members remained.  The two masted ship
only had one mast. All cargo on deck was thrown into the sea, and much
of the top deck was badly damaged. Below the waterline, (although no one
had yet really surveyed the damage, this report was only from inside)
several leaks had sprung from between the boards, the leaks were not
serious, and any water that did come into the ship could be pumped out,
as soon as the pumps were fixed.

  -_          ||                      ||    ___________
    -_     ___||__                    ||   /           |
      -_   |  ||  \             +Pump ||  /  Captn     |
        \_/   ||   \____________|_____||_/_____________|
         \ ___||___             |     ||     |         |
          \       | Stowage and |crew ||     |Ofcrs    |
           \      |_____________|_____||_____________ /
            \                   |     ||             |
             -__     Bilge and  |ballast and durable_-
                 --____goods_____________________--


There was a lot of speculation among the crew as to WHY this happened to
the Squid.  Some were spreading the tale that this was the revenge of
the goddess they call "K'Hate Lynn," who comes to torment those who she
finds displeasing.  While they didn't know why she would strike out at
the Squid, some suggested it was because of the "funny bull" in the
hold.

The situation wasn't grim, but it wasn't rosy either.  There was enough
food and water, but the sailing time had been increased by at least a
day, and the ship desperately needed refitting.

Thus ended the session.

**Shandlar, answer a question for me now that we are under weigh again
and have time to talk.  What is it like to be able to see evil in the
heart of a person?**
*Sometimes I think it is a useless ability.  The effect is similar to
poking yourself in the eye with a sharp stick.*
**Well, would it not be worth a little pain to be able to read a
person's intent?**
*In some places, perhaps, but a walk through Lankhmar is enough to keep
you indoors for several days with a headache.*