Multimedia Mania/abacus-multimedia-mania.iso/dp/0150/01504.txt

Text File | 1993-07-27 | 6KB | 120 lines

$Unique_ID{bob01504}
$Pretitle{}
$Title{Sketches, Old And New
Science Vs. Luck}
$Subtitle{}
$Author{Twain, Mark}
$Affiliation{}
$Subject{chance
game
science
sturgis
case
jury
judge
old
seven-up
court}
$Date{1893}
$Log{}
Title:       Sketches, Old And New
Book:        Science Vs. Luck
Author:      Twain, Mark
Date:        1893

Science Vs. Luck

     At that time, in Kentucky (said the Hon. Mr. K - ), the law was very
strict against what is termed "games of chance." About a dozen of the boys
were detected playing "seven-up" or "old sledge" for money, and the grand jury
found a true bill against them.  Jim Sturgis was retained to defend them when
the case came up, of course.  The more he studied over the matter, and looked
into the evidence, the plainer it was that he must lose a case at last - there
was no getting around that painful fact.  Those boys had certainly been
betting money on a game of chance.  Even public sympathy was roused in behalf
of Sturgis.  People said it was a pity to see him mar his successful career
with a big prominent case like this, which must go against him.

     But after several restless nights an inspired idea flashed upon Sturgis,
and he sprang out of bed delighted.  He thought he saw his way through.  The
next day he whispered around a little among his clients and a few friends, and
then when the case came up in court he acknowledged the seven-up and the
betting, and, as his sole defence, had the astounding effrontery to put in the
plea that old sledge was not a game of chance! There was the broadest sort of
a smile all over the faces of that sophisticated audience.  The judge smiled
with the rest.  But Sturgis maintained a countenance whose earnestness was
even severe.  The opposite counsel tried to ridicule him out of his position,
and did not succeed. The judge jested in a ponderous judicial way about the
thing, but did not move him.  The matter was becoming grave.  The judge lost a
little of his patience, and said the joke had gone far enough.  Jim Sturgis
said he knew of no joke in the matter - his clients could not be punished for
indulging in what some people chose to consider a game of chance until it was
proven that it was a game of chance.  Judge and counsel said that would be an
easy matter, and forthwith called Deacons Job, Peters, Burke, and Johnson, and
Dominies Wirt and Miggles, to testify; and they unanimously and with strong
feeling put down the legal quibble of Sturgis by pronouncing that old sledge
was a game of chance.

     "What do you call it now?" said the judge.

     "I call it a game of science!" retorted Sturgis; "and I'll prove it,
too!"

     They saw his little game.

     He brought in a cloud of witnesses, and produced an overwhelming mass of
testimony, to show that old sledge was not a game of chance but a game of
science.

     Instead of being the simplest case in the world, it had somehow turned
out to be an excessively knotty one.  The judge scratched his head over it a
while, and said there was no way of coming to a determination, because just as
many men could be brought into court who would testify on one side as could be
found to testify on the other.  But he said he was willing to do the fair
thing by all parties, and would act upon any suggestion Mr. Sturgis would make
for the solution of the difficulty.

     Mr. Sturgis was on his feet in a second.

     "Impanel a jury of six of each, Luck versus Science.  Give them candles
and a couple of decks of cards.  Send them into the jury room, and just abide
by the result!"

     There was no disputing the fairness of the proposition.  The four deacons
and the two dominies were sworn in as the chance "jurymen," and six inveterate
old seven-up professors were chosen to represent the "science" side of the
issue.  They retired to the jury room.

     In about two hours Deacon Peters sent into court to borrow three dollars
from a friend.  [Sensation.] In about two hours more Dominie Miggles sent into
court to borrow a "stake" from a friend.  [Sensation.] During the next three
or four hours the other dominie and the other deacons sent into court for
small loans.  And still the packed audience waited, for it was a prodigious
occasion in Bull's Corners, and one in which every father of a family was
necessarily interested.

     The rest of the story can be told briefly.  About daylight the jury came
in, and Deacon Job, the foreman, read the following

Verdict

     We, the jury in the case of the Commonwealth of Kentucky vs. John Wheeler
et al., have carefully considered the points of the case, and tested the
merits of the several theories advanced, and do hereby unanimously decide that
the game commonly known as old sledge or seven-up is eminently a game of
science and not of chance.  In demonstration whereof it is hereby and herein
stated, iterated, reiterated, set forth, and made manifest that, during the
entire night, the "chance" men never won a game or turned a jack, although
both feats were common and frequent to the opposition; and furthermore, in
support of this our verdict, we call attention to the significant fact that
the "chance" men are all busted, and the "science" men have got the money.  It
is the deliberate opinion of this jury, that the "chance" theory concerning
seven-up is a pernicious doctrine, and calculated to inflict untold suffering
and pecuniary loss upon any community that takes stock in it.

     "That is the way that seven-up came to be set apart and particularized in
the statute-books of Kentucky as being a game not of chance but of science,
and therefore not punishable under the law," said Mr. K -.  "That verdict is
of record, and holds good to this day."