2FPornography The suspect sold and distributed close-up photographs of her face. 2MPornography The suspect sold and distributed close-up photographs of his face. 2NFederal Security Violation The suspect stole all four hubcaps off of the president's limosene. 2FFederal Security Violation The suspect broke into a federal penetentiary - for men! 4MCivil Fraud The suspect sells phony stock in an anti-gravity machine. He was last seenin New York City approximately 12 Ft. above Times Square. 2NFederal Tax Code Violation The suspect returned a tax refund check to the Internal Revenue Service 3NFederal Security Violation The suspect is a mentally unstable barber that gave the president a mohawk haircut. 3FAlcohol & Firearms Violation The suspect normally works as a topless barmaid. When serving Rum & Coke - she doesn't use cola... 2NFederal Tax Code Violation The suspect failed to report $10 winnings in an illicit frog race. 2NGrand Larceny Failed to include the late-charge while making a house payment. 3NEspionage The suspect is a Canadian spy that neutralized a toxic chemical dump without the government's permission. 2NInvironmental Pollution The suspect has not taken a bath since 1976. 3NFreedom of Speech Act Violation The suspect maliciously spiked all the water-coolers in the U.S. Capital Building - with alum... 4NHomicide The suspect claims to have the only REAL irish stew... The recipe calls for two medium size irishmen... 3NCivil Fraud The suspect is a phony real estate broker that sells cemetery plots to prospective buyers as income property 2NPetty Theft The suspect stole approximately one-million petty-coats... 3NSmuggling The suspect illegally imports Columbian agricultural goods... Like coffee... 3NFood & Drug Violations The suspect illegally brews a seductively sweet liquor from old newspapers... 3NViolation of Federal Banking Laws The suspect runs a Savings & Loan Co. out of the trunk of a car - without Federal Depositor's Insurance... 3NViolation of Federal Currency Laws The suspect has successfully printed and passed over twenty thousand $21 bills... 3NDamaging Federal Property The suspect ruthlessly broke into the White House and pushed bubble-gum into all the hidden microphones. 3FContempt of Congress During an investigation - the suspect steadfastly refused to give her bra size... 4MAssault & Battery Being a super saleman - the suspect gives a practical demonstration as to why his prospective customers need medical insurance... 4MFederal Security Violations While disguised as a foreign military officer - the suspect plugged-up all the toilets in the Pentagon using American Flags... 3NFood & Drug Violation The suspect sells chocolate covered corn cobs as `HIGH FIBER' granola bars. 3NBookmaking The suspect publishes and sells a book giving the combinations to all the safes used by the government. 3NBank Robbery The suspect travels around the nation robbing banks of all their credit card application forms. 4MChild Support Violations The suspect suddenly walked out of the lives of his little family of 37 children - 14 dogs - 9 cats - 1 wife... 3FBunco and Civil Fraud Alias Madam Syaramientikoff She claims to tell the future by reading nosehairs. 4MCivil Fraud The suspect is the head minister in The Church of the Golden Fleece. He is accused of fleecing the gold from his congregation. 3MMental Institution Escapee Thinks he is a H78-14 automobile tire.He was last seen rolling westbound on Interstate -80 just east of Omaha...
