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- Newsgroups: alt.devilbunnies,alt.answers,news.answers
- From: bkeyes@lamar.ColoState.EDU.zap.for.email (Bill Keyes)
- Subject: Alt.Devilbunnies Frequently Asked Questions *** part 1/4
- Summary: Everything you ever wanted to know about the Evil that Fluffs (tm)
- Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu
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- Archive-name: devilbunnies-faq/part1
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- Last-modified: 2000/08/14
-
- ***** ALT.DEVILBUNNIES FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS *****
- The Fudds' FAQ
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Written on 15Oct1993. Updated on 25Oct1993, 11Nov1993, 3Jan1994, 5Mar1994,
- 27Jun1994, 11Sep1994, 10Dec1994, 6Jan1995, 27Mar1995, 9June1995, 6July1995,
- 22July1995, 7Sep1995, 12Sep1995, 10Oct1995, 17Oct1995, 9Nov1995, 27Jan1996,
- 12Mar1996, 15Sep1996, 25Sep1996, 19Jan1997, 23Mar1997, 22Jul1997, 18Nov1999,
- 16Dec1999, 14Aug2000.
-
- Compiled, written, and edited by Bill Keyes (bkeyes@lamar.colostate.edu),
- with help from John Chaffey, Reijer Grimbergen, Sharree Thompson, and
- others too numerous to list. Thanks all.
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
- THE FUDDS' FAQ
-
- Q. What's this group all about, anyway?
- A. We are a newsgroup dedicated to stopping a quiet and hostile takeover of
- the Earth by the incredibly powerful, unimaginably evil, disgustingly cute
- Devilbunnies. As Fudds, we are the only thing that stands between a
- disbelieving human race and horrible, inescapable fluffy doom.
-
- Q. You've got to be kidding.
- A. Yeah, I am. Sure. Just wait until that cute gray bunny that lives under
- the pine tree in your backyard carries off your grandmother for some unholy
- feast. Then you'll say to yourself, "Oh, I should have listened," but it'll
- be too late. We warned you.
-
- Q. OK, I'm convinced. How do I get involved in this war?
- A. It's customary to post an introductory message to the group. If you
- really want to get involved, start watching your neighborhood for signs
- of Bunny incursion (nibbled lettuce in your garden, little bunny pellets
- outside your windows, etc.) Report any suspicious activity to the nearest
- Army of Fudd (AoF) outpost. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to confront
- Devilbunnies by yourself. Your local AoF provides weaponry, training, and
- professional help.
-
- Q. What is a Fudd?
- A. A human who knows the Truth About Bunnies (tm), and is willing to lay
- down his or her life in order to defend humanity from their fuzzy evil. The
- Fudds are a loosely-knit organization of individuals, and while they often
- have differences in their approach to the Evil that Fluffs (tm) they are
- united by one common bond: "Kill da wabbit."
-
- Q. How do I find this group?
- A. Chances are, you already have. But you might be reading a copy of this
- FAQ on some other forum. If so, look for us among the Usenet Newsgroups,
- we're called simply alt.devilbunnies.
-
- Q. What is a Devilbunny?
- A. "Think of the most powerful thing you can (I mean like a black hole or a
- supernova, not a Chevy). Double it. Add sharp things. Remove all goodness.
- Wrap it in a cute, cuddly bunny costume." -- John Chaffey.
-
- Q. What do they look like?
- A. Devilbunnies look exactly like regular bunny rabbits.
-
- Q. How can you tell if it's a Devilbunny and not a regular bunny?
- A. You can't, at least not without years of highly specialized training. To
- be on the safe side, all bunnies are considered suspect, and should be
- terminated with extreme prejudice.
-
- Q. What makes Devilbunnies so dangerous?
- A. Well, apart from the fact that they are cruel and deadly creatures, they
- are incredibly cute. Just think of how insidious this war is. The DBs can
- move around the countryside with relative impunity. They are mistaken for
- harmless and sweet animals. Using their cuteness as cover, they can
- infiltrate our communities, seduce our loved ones, and take over the world.
-
- Q. Where do Devilbunnies come from?
- A. This is unknown right now. Current research indicates that they may be
- from another planet, or possibly another dimension. There are other
- theories, but keep in mind that the DBs are, for the most part, an unknown
- quality.
-
- Q. What is the scientific designation for Devilbunnies?
- A. Lagomorph Demonicus.
-
- Q. What is the Army of Fudd's motto?
- A. "Sic semper tyrannis et culiculis daemoniacis!" (Thus ever to tyrants and
- Devilbunnies!)
-
- Q. What do Devilbunnies eat?
- A. Oh, the usual. Carrots, lettuce, grass. They seem to be fond of parsley
- and spinach as well. Oh yeah, and they love human toes...
-
- Q. How long do Devilbunnies live?
- A. Hopefully as short as possible. But if you are talking about natural
- lifespans, they normally live about 30-35 years.
-
- Q. Why do they write things like "[fluffwiggle]" in their posts?
- A. Bunnies, in their natural state, communicate with a complex series of
- non-verbal signs. Since they lack visual cues while typing on the computer,
- they are forced to type them. Plus, it makes them seem cuter.
-
- Q. Are Devilbunnies good to eat?
- A. No. In fact, DBs are rancid, gamy, tough, and stringy. Although they
- evidence a strong fondness for human flesh, we Fudds pride ourselves on
- not stooping to their barbaric level. At least until they start breeding
- a better tasting bunny...
-
- Q. What's the best way to cook a Devilbunny?
- A. If you are, for some reason, forced to partake of DB flesh, follow these
- simple recipes:
-
- Build a large bonfire. Make it as hot as you can.
- Toss the bunny into the heart of the flame.
- Now wait until the fire dies down.
- Remove the DB's ashes and sprinkle on toast.
-
- Build a small cookfire.
- Prepare the DB to taste with your favorite seasonings.
- Nail the DB to a 2x4 board.
- Cook until golden brown.
- Now discard the Bunny and eat the board.
-
- Q. Who are the Wanderers?
- A. The Wanderers are an irresponsibly inclined lunatic fringe of the Fudds
- with slightly more Fuddamentalist leanings than the AoF proper. They have a
- small air force, and will travel for tequila. These are some of the most
- unstable Fudds alive, and will occasionally field-test Fourier (q.v.)
- equipment. If you'd like to join the Wanderers, contact Jazz Masterson,
- Amber, or Terrence "Deuce" O'Connor, the existing Wanderer characters. You
- can find their current addresses in Appendix 1 of the FAQ.
-
- Q. Who are the Four?
- A. "The Four" are a radical organization composed chiefly of "wyrmbunnies"
- (q.v.) but also including some squirrels and humans. Their leaders (also
- collectively known as "the Four") believe themselves to be incarnations of
- the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - War, Death, Famine and Pestilence. The
- Four respect the Fudds, but this feeling is not mutual and the two groups
- are not allied.
-
- Q. Cool! How do I join?
- A. These two "splinter" groups are tightly-knit and not as welcoming to new
- members as the AoF. If you want to join one of these groups, you must check
- with their current group members first. Also keep in mind that these are
- tiny groups - the Fudds and Bunnies are by far the most important
- protagonists (or antagonists) in the War.
-
- Q. Where can I find out more information?
- A. This is the Fudd version of the FAQ, containing most of the most basic
- info you should need. There is also a Bunny version, containing their side
- of the story. The Ground Rules are intended for those who want to post on
- the newsgroup. There are also several appendices to the FAQ, containing a
- Who's Who, a discussion of technology, a history of the DBs, and several
- other interesting and informative things. There is an Index which indicates
- where and how to find all the other FAQs and Supplements. Please note, that
- this FAQ contains all of the information that you are likely to need in
- perusing the group. The Supplements (all 18 of them!) contain more detailed
- information that you might need, or just feel curious about. It's a lot of
- reading, but I've tried to cut it down into bite-sized chunks for you! The
- basic rule of thumb is:
-
- Read this FAQ. Learn it, know it, live it, love it, send its creator
- lots of money.
- Read the Bunny FAQ. Learn it, know it, live it, love it, send its
- creator even more money.
- Read the Ground Rules only if you plan to post.
- Read the Supplements if you need more information!
-
- Q. Is this information available in any other format?
- A. Yes, we also have an official alt.dbs WWW site, maintained by Snowhare.
- You can access the Supplements, the archives, and lots of other stuff from
- there! The address is: http://www.devilbunnies.org
-
- -----------------------------------------------------------------------
- This is the end of The Devilbunny FAQ (the Fudds' Version). Any questions,
- comments, clarifications, flames, etc., should be sent to Bill Keyes
- (bkeyes@lamar.colostate.edu).
-
- This document and all information contained within is copyright (c) 1994 by
- Bill Keyes. All rights reserved. It may not be reproduced or reposted by any
- means, electronic or otherwise, in part or in whole, without prior
- permission from the author.
-
- * Bill Keyes /\ * bkeyes@lamar.colostate.edu *
- * c////////=================|__|=> * Sic semper cuniculis daemoniacis! *
- * Bunny hunter Extreme & / \ * alt.devilbunnies FAQ Keeper *
- * Independent Fudd <______> * http://www.devilbunnies.org *
-
-