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2002-11-26
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From: fweps@greenmail.ch (Florian M. Weps)
Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery
Subject: All I got is this empty coffee mug
Date: 21 Nov 2002 22:57:01 +0100
Organization: WeAreStupid dot com
User-Agent: Gnus/5.09 (Gnus v5.9.0) Emacs/21.2
The voices outside my head The voices in my head
me Good morning. 'morning. hi I'll get some coffee, and then -
handset clipped to belt (vibrates) Yes, I'm coming already
me Unix operating and supp- What is it this time?
luser Yes, my ayss-ayss-aytch client "Oh please no, I'm running out of
software is broken! spare clients and they don't
make them any more!!!"
me Uh, how - why - what is wrong, He fogot his password again.
can't you log in?
luser Login works, but when I type *two* letters, how can he mistype
el-ayss it says not found - just two characters.
me Whoops! What else is broken? apart from the obvious
luser - and the prompt is all wrong,
all I get is a dollar and that is still overpaid
(types)
Actually, el-ayss is working I'm just that good, you know.
again now.
me Are you sure you are logged Last time he tried to log into
into the correct machine? a nonexistant machine.
luser Yes, and it's strange, All *I* get is this lousy
something very strange is coffee mug with the company
happening, all I get is a logo.
dollar.
me Did you change your dotprofile? "No. It was working yesterday"
luser No. Yes, you did.
me Can you have a look at your And we'll prove it now.
dotprofile for me? "Exhibit A is -"
luser Maybe, tell me that's where? "- this magnificent crack pipe"
In my home folder? C'mon, you *know* where.
me Please type el-ess minus ay He'll leave out the space
and read the output to me. before the option
luser (types, clicks, mumbles) I bet he deleted his profile
Let's see, it says here
DOT PROFILE DOT GEE-ZETT
me - ! but, but, but, but, but, but
luser What should I do now? how did he manage to do that
me Please type gun-zip in one Broadcast Message from
word followed by dotprofile, frontal-lobe@localbrain
and log in again. (somewhere) at 10:19 ...
luser Huh? Low caffeine, system will
go down...
Florian
--
Once upon the Python spoke, / Now he lacks interpreters,
Withering in his laurelled fires / All the bitter rock interns,
From within those jewelled eyes / Tells you only what you know,
Know, but dare not realise. -- Lawrence Durrell, "Delphi" (1965)