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- Dave Letterman's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions
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- 10. When visiting strip bars, stop using Regis' name to get free lap dances
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- 9. Become a prison pen pal with Hillary
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- 8. Work up the courage to wear my dreadlock toupee in public
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- 7. No more cigars in the shower
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- 6. Combine my love of bass fishing and exercise into new sport: Bassercize
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- 5. Only pay for sex if the price seems really, really reasonable
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- 4. Get back to my true love, cabaret
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- 3. Correct that annoying typo in my Metallica tattoo
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- 2. Find perfect joke to open with at Academy Awards (sorry, that was a
- resolution for 1995)
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- 1. Every time Drew Barrymore is on the show, tell her it's my birthday
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- Letterman, January 2, 1996
- ) 1996 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. All Rights Reserved
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