When the sun blasts down, temperatures soar to near 100 degrees, and sweat pours off my svelte bod in buckets, the best place I've found to be is laying prone and semi-nude in an air-conditioned room.
Unfortunately, there are times during the heat of a Florida day when choices are limited and I have no alternative other than tough it out until an afternoon shower arrives to cool things down.
During a recent south Florida fishing tournament on Lake Okeechobee, I had no alternative other than to work hard for three consecutive days (10 hours per day) in such blistering circumstances.
Now, I've never been proposed for Menza membership. Nor have I ever been described as being particularly bright. However, there are several common-sense electives I can make to rapidly cool off on these hot summer days including my recent discovery, The Coke Can Shower.
A Coke Can Shower consists of filling two empty Coke cans with river or lake water, standing upright in the boat's bow, and pouring the contents over your head and down your body until drenched. I've found a second Coke Can Shower to be more cooling than the first, and a third to be best of all.
A word of warning: Be certain that your shirt and trouser pockets are empty before showering. I didn't the first time around and ruined a butane lighter, plus a half-pack of cigarettes. I also got my wallet soaked.
On a technical note, I've found that Classic Coke cans are best. For some inexplicable reason, they are more refreshing than empty Diet Coke or Hires Root Beer cans.
Unless a tournament rule forbids leaving your boat for any reason, you can simply dive overboard. But, warned one of my fishin' buddies, Hollywood Homicide Detective Bob Alfano, be sure that your boat doesn't drift off while splashing around.
Other tricks used by anglers to cool off on a hot day include dipping their hat into a water and placing it back atop their head. Some will remove their shirt (or blouse) and soak it briefly in the lake or river before putting it on again. None of this stuff works very well in saltwater though. Salt residue leaves you feeling sticky and icky.
In addition to other obvious remedies, like drinking such cold liquids as ice water or Gatorade, you can cool off by rubbing a chunk of ice across your brow, nape of your neck, and around both wrists which brings instant, if temporary, relief.
Finally, the best idea of all: forget fishing or boating in the heat. Go out during the early a.m. and late p.m. hours while spending midday more productively by napping semi-nude in an air-conditioned room.
While you'll not snare any fish while catching your zzzz's, you'll at least be comfortable which, in itself, is worthy of consideration during the horrid summer months.
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