Power Dressing

In the Mall he held his breath for what seemed minutes. The restaurant was one thing: They arrived, they sat, they chatted. The only moment of real stress, he realized, was using the toilet but it was empty and there was no confrontation. Not that, by then, he really expected any. He used a cubicle and laughed at himself when he sat down to pee. But he figured it was the appropriate thing to do. He refreshed his lipstick and returned to Christine. Each time he crossed the floor he could actually feel the eyes on him.

But in the Mall there were Sunday afternoon shoppers everywhere and he was mixing with them and he was nervous again. But it passed fairly quickly when he confirmed the only eyes on him were admiring males. Young males. It made him wonder how old they thought he was and he guessed probably about the same age as Christine. She steered him to a shoe store and they entered. It dawned on his as they browsed, that he could not avoid speaking forever. Now was probably the time to do it, to test himself again.

He had been pumping adrenalin now for such a long time it almost felt natural but the nauseous feeling remained. The fluttery tummy.

"These?" Christine asked, picking up a black calf ankle boot with a three inch heel.

"Almost," he said. "Slightly lower heel I think."

"Very smart."

"What size will I be.?"

"I'm seven and a half. I'd say eight and a half."

He saw a pair with a fake, strap and small gold buckle. With two inch stiletto heels. Not to high but spunky.

"I like these," he said.

"Okay."

They looked around for a sales person and caught the eye of a young woman who came over. He interrupted Christine who was about to speak.

"Do you have these in eight and a half?"

"I think so," she smiled. "Just one moment. Take a seat would you."

They sat.

"Very brave," she grinned. "Well done."

The woman returned with a shoe box and Stephanie slipped off a shoe and the woman eased on the boot.

"How do they feel?"

"Pretty good. May I try the other."

In the pair he stood and walked back and forth.

"Oh they're great," he said to Christine and to the clerk jointly.

"I'll take them."

The sales girl laughed. "Gosh you're easy fixed."

He slipped off the boots and the woman took them away to wrap them.

"Too easy," Christine said. "No woman buys shoes that fast."

"Why not? They're what I wanted."

"That's not the point. You have to try dozens."

Stephanie looked at her. Isn't that a bit of waste of time. I know what I wanted."

"Yes it is. It's the ritual."

"Okay," he shrugged.

They paid for the boots and left.

"My boots," he said when they were out of the shop. "It's crazy."

"It's just a start. Anything else?"

"I don't know."

"There'll be hundreds of things I should think but we can't afford to go mad. You need some makeup but I can get that from the salon. You can't always be using mine."

"Always! What a strange word. I can't imagine always using makeup."

"When you want to then. I need some pantyhose and stockings. I'll double up."
They bought eight pairs of assorted pantyhose and stockings.

Leaving the Mall he was smiling to himself.

"What?" she asked, noticing.

"I just bought a pair of high fashion boots for myself. Not male boots. Female boots. I have nothing to wear with them and no where to wear them. I think I am crazy."

"You have plenty to wear them with. And as many places to wear them as you care to go."

"It's still crazy."

"Okay."

In the car she said:

"I want to know."

"What?"
"What you're thinking. You're not giving much away."

"Chris I don't know what I'm thinking. I've been a male for seventeen years. I've never consciously seen myself any other way. I'm conditioned to think and act like male. And suddenly...this."

"You're not a typical male Steph. A typical male would not have done what we've just done. A typical male wouldn't look like you do. A typical male would not have the grace and panache to pass so easily."

"Is that a compliment?"

"I see it as one. I think you're charming. You look wonderful and you behaved impeccably."

"You like me a girl?"

She sighed. "I like you as a person. I love you. But, yes, if you want the cards on the table. I like you as a girl. I thought today was fun. I enjoyed myself in the same way I would have done with Sylvia for example and I wouldn't have done that with Steven."

"Well...I enjoyed myself too. Once the panic passed anyway. It was fun."

They drove on silence and things went over and over through his mind. He couldn't really think straight. There was so much conflict. But one thing was certain. As Christine turned into their driveway, Stephanie said:
"It was more than fun. It was thrilling. I loved it."

"Wear you new boots for a while when we get in," Christine said, very casually. "You won't want to be wearing them for long periods while they're still new."

To be continued...