Support Group Meeting

By Barbara Allen

I was finally going to attend my first support group meeting. I had run the gauntlet of every obstacle that could befall a frightened crossdressed individual trying to stay unnoticed in her home town. Finally, I was at the motel where the meeting. was being held AND I had the room number. Even though I was an hour late, I had made it and I would surely be invited in. All I had to do was park, find the room, knock and enter. Nothing else could possible happen to me now!

But... all kinds of doubt started to enter my mind. What if I went to the wrong room? Who would answer the door? Was anybody there? Was I overdressed? Would I be accepted? There was only one way to answer these questions. If I could brave the lobbies and clerks at 6 different hotels, I could walk up and knock on a door. One thing at a time.

The meeting was being held on the second floor. I had the option of using an elevator or stairs. I choose the stairs. I've always had this fear of being caught in an elevator while crossdressed and being recognized and embarrassed by the other elevator riders. It had nearly happened once in Cincinnati, when I was trying to sneak out of the hotel crossdressed. It's impossible to feel comfortable enclosed in a small elevator where others are close enough to inspect your hands, Adam's apple and pores.

I found the room, hesitated briefly while I smoothed down my skirt and made sure that my blouse was tucked in and slip wasn't showing, AND KNOCKED! The door was opened by a individual who looked female and had a "I don't know who you are" look on her face. I still wasn't sure I had found the right meeting. It might be the Saturday night Ladies Garden Club Meeting. I hesitantly asked if this was the GGA meeting location and was rewarded with a smile and invitation to come inside. Sanctuary!

Inside was a suite with a kitchenette, table and television watching area with two sofas and two chairs. The bedroom was separate. Also inside were 8 to 10 ladies. Five were sitting around the table having a meeting and other's were seated watching the television. Of course, all turned to see who the new arrival was.

I looked around desperately and found Crystal who was in the group at the table having the meeting. She and the other's at the table said hello, but I could tell that none of them, including Crystal, who had authorized my attendance to the meeting, knew who I was or expected me. In the best, soft feminine voice that I could manage under the stress I said, "Hello, My name is Barbara." Still no indication of recognition on Crystal's face. I directed my self to her and said, "Crystal, I called and you indicated that I could attend the meeting. tonight."

Recognition began to dawn on Crystal's face. "You're Barbara from New Orleans? I didn't recognize you. How long ago was it that we met?"

"Around Thanksgiving" I replied. "We met at the Mall Food Court for an interview."

"Yes, I remember, but you look different."

I was a brunette then. Now I'm a blonde." I replied.

Crystal introduce everyone around the room to me and briefly described her previous interview with me and my inability to attend meetings. until this one. She explained that they were completing the business portion of the meeting. and invited me to pour myself a drink and join the girls waiting for the business meeting. to be completed.

I found a convenient place to put down my purse and, declining a drink, walked over to the only open seat at the sofa where the group was watching television. A TV meeting where all the TVs were watching TV! I reintroduced myself to the girls, who appeared more interested in the what was on the tel evision than talking to each other. After some brief courtesy chatting, I was left to sit and watch the television with them. I could have done this at home! I used the time to study the people and try to understand the dynamics of the support group. I certainly wasn't overdressed. Some of the girls were in dresses and some were much more casual in slacks and even shorts. It seemed to depend on their own comfort with feminine appearance.

I loved meeting the girls, but have a hard time remembering their names. Crystal pushed for GGA support and attendance at the upcoming LaGala celebration, including "manning' a transgendered information booth. Bobbie, dressed androgynously, was putting together a small personal support group for emotional help and semi-counseling.

A very attractive lady named Nancy reported on her discussions with a local magazine which featured an article which attacked the Transgendered Community. She presented herself forcefully on the issue, but maintained a shyness that belied her conviction and actions.

Carla, definitely was not shy. She came on strong. Chris arrived late and everyone had stories about her. It sounds like they are all true!

Finally. the meeting was over and a late dinner was organized. I volunteered my car for transportation and we all left in convoy to find the TG friendly restaurant that one of the girls had been to before. The closeness of the car and the relaxed atmosphere provided a better opportunity to get to know the girls.

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed the opportunity to sit with them and realizing that we all came out of the same closet. I felt totally relaxed and found myself in total comfort with them.

Unfortunately, the TG friendly restaurant has just closed it's kitchen and we found ourselves out in the parking lot deciding what or where to go next. I could just imagine what the exiting patrons and occupants in the passing cars had to say about a group of people dressed in everything from dresses to jeans and shorts standing in a parking lot on the side of a highway. In New Orleans, even the suburbs, there is no dearth to the number of restaurants available and something is always open, no matter what the hour. We ended up a small Mexican restaurant that just couldn't provide any better service. The waiters had a ball explaining what came with each entree and treating us with the utmost respect.

It was great, sitting out and enjoying myself with 12 other ladies and sharing experiences. However, the night out like all nights had to come to an end.

Hugs and Love