NDC = Can be ordered through the Natural Death Centre book service.
- Ainsworth-Smith, Ian and Speck, Peter Letting Go - Caring for the dying and bereaved, SPCK, 1982, 154 pp, £6-99, ISBN 0 281 03861 0.
- Alexander, Helen (ed), Living with Dying, 2-75 incl. p&p (cheques to 'BSS') from Living with Dying, PO Box 7, London W3 6XJ.
Aleksander, Tobe, A Practical Guide to Coping with Death, Channel 4 TV, 1992, 47pp for 34p stamp and SAE from Coping With Death, PO Box 4000, London W3 6XJ.
- Arya, Pandit Usharbudh, Meditation and the Art of Dying, Himalayan, 1985, 180 pp, $9-95, ISBN 0 89389 056 1.
- Bailey, Alice, Death - The great adventure, Lucis Press, 1985, 144 pp, £4-50, ISBN 085330 138 7.
- Bender, Mike and Lloyd, Christa and Cooper, Alison, The Quality of Dying - in residential homes, nursing homes and hospital wards, Winslow Press,1990, 108 pp, ISBN 0 86388 077.
- Benn, June (ed), Memorials - An anthology of poetry and prose, Ravette, 1986.
- Boerstler, Richard, Letting Go - A holistic and meditative approach to living and dying, Associates in Thanatology, 1985, 60 pp, $3-95 plus $2 p&p, ISBN 0 9607928 0 5 T (see Videos and Tapes below, for address).
- Boston, Sarah and Trezise, Rachael, Merely Mortal - Coping with dying, death and bereavement, Methuen, 1987, 214 pp, £3-95, ISBN 0 413 15590 0.
- Bowlby, John, Loss, Sadness and Depression, Penguin, 1980, £8-99, ISBN 0 14 013839 0. Psychoanalytic exploration of children's reactions to loss of mother.
- Brotchie, Jane, Help at Hand - The home carer's survival guide, Bedford Square Press, 1990, 148 pp, £6-95, ISBN 0 7199 1282 2.
- Buckman, Dr Robert, I Don't Know What To Say - How to help and support someone who is dying, Macmillan Papermac, 1990, 247 pp, £8-99, ISBN 0 333 54035 2.
- Cancerlink, Caring for the Very Sick Person At Home, available free (see Cancerlink, under Organisations below). A helpful 25 page pamphlet.
- Cannon, Geoffrey, The Good Fight - The life and work of Caroline Walker, Ebury Press, 1989, 179 pp, £4-99, ISBN 0 7126 3769 9.
- Carlson, Lisa, Caring For Your Own Dead, Upper Access, 1987, 344 pp, $12-50, ISBN 0 942679 01 6.
- Collick, Elizabeth, Through Grief, available from CRUSE (see under Organisations below), £4.60 inc. p&p.
- Copperman, Harriet, Dying at Home, Wiley, 1988, 158 pp, £5-50, ISBN 0 471 26278 1.
- Davies, Douglas, Cremation Today and Tomorrow, Grove Books, 46 pp, £3-50, ISBN 1 85174 165 8.
- Davies, Russell, Law of Burial, Cremation and Exhumation, Shaw and Sons, 1982.
- Davies, Simon, Death Meditation, non-sectarian booklet available from the author at 341 Gregson Lane, Houghton, Preston, Lancs PR5 OFD.
- Dickenson, Donna and Johnson, Malcolm (eds), Death, Dying and Bereavement, Sage, 1993, 355 pp, £12-95. This is the reader for the Open University course on death and dying.
- Doyle, Derek, Coping with a Dying Relative, Macdonald, 1983, 96 pp, £2-95, ISBN 0 86334 026 1.
- Doyle, Derek, Domiciliary Terminal Care, Churchill Livingstone, 1987, £6-95. Aimed at GPs and community nurses but covering pain, diet, equipment and counselling.
- NDC[***] Duda, Deborah, Coming Home - A guide to dying at home with dignity, Aurora Press (PO Box 573, Santa Fe, New Mexico 87504, USA, tel 0101 505 989 9804, USA), 1987, 404 pp, £11-95 from Airlift (tel 071 607 5792), ISBN 0 943358 31 0.
- England, Audrey (ed), Helping Ourselves, 2 from The Compassionate Friends (see under Organisations below). For those who have lost a child.
- Enright, D. J. (ed), The Oxford Book of Death, OUP,1987, 351 pp, £5-95, ISBN 0 19 282013 3.
- [***] Foos-Graber, Anya, Deathing - An intelligent alternative for the final moments of life, Nicolas-Hays, 1989, 397 pp, £11-95 from Airlift (tel 071 607 5792), ISBN 0 89254 016 8.
- Foster, Margaret, Have the Men had Enough?, Penguin, 1990. About looking after someone with Alzheimer's Disease.
- Fremantle, Francesca and Trungpa, Chögyam (eds), The Tibetan Book of the Dead, Shambhala, 1975, 120 pp, $3-95, ISBN 0 394 73064 X.
- Garcia, Marlene, How to Write a Will and Gain Probate, Kogan Paul, 1989.
- Glaser, Barney and Strauss, A. L., Awareness of Dying, Aldine Publishing, 1965, ISBN 0 202 30001 3. Hospital-based research.
- Gold, E. J., The Lazy Man's Guide to Death and Dying, IDHHB Publishing, (PO Box 370, Nevada City, CA 95959, USA, tel 0101 916 477 1116), 1983, $17-49, ISBN 0 89556 041 0. Tibetan-style approach, but jokey and graphically punchy. Only a few damaged copies left at present. For UK, see also 'Gold' under Videos and Tapes, below.
- Gold, E. J., The Labyrinth Reader's Course, IDHHB Publishing, (PO Box 370, Nevada City, CA 95959, USA, tel 0101 916 477 1116), $50. A course for learning how to guide the soul on its way. For UK, see also 'Gold' under Videos and Tapes, below.
- Gold, E. J., The New American Book of the Dead, IDHHB Publishing (PO Box 370, Nevada City, CA 95959, USA, tel 0101 916 477 1116), 1983, $12-50, ISBN 0 89556 051 8. Describes in plain English how to help the person through and beyond death, with readings, from a Tibetan-style perspective. For UK, see also 'Gold' under Videos and Tapes, below.
- Green, J.and Green, M. Dealing with Death, Chapman & Hall, 1992, ISBN 0 412 36410 7. Wide coverage of legal, technical and religious aspects.
- Green, Jennifer, Death With Dignity - Meeting the spiritual needs of patients in a multi-cultural society, Nursing Times (Macmillan Magazines), 15 pp, ISBN 0 333 54971 6.
- Grey, Margot, Return from Death - An exploration of the Near-Death Experience, Arkana (Penguin), 1987, 206 pp, £5-99, ISBN 0 14 019051 1.
- [***] Grof, Stanislav and Halifax, Joan, The Human Encounter with Death, Souvenir Press, 1978, 240 pp, £2-95, ISBN 0 285 64874 8. Out of print, alas.
- Grollman, E., Talking About Death, Beacon Press (Boston), 1970. For parent and child to read together.
- Grosz, Anton, Letters to a Dying Friend - What comes next, based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead, Quest, 1989, 169 pp, $9-95, ISBN 0 8356 0640 6.
- Harding, Douglas, The Little Book of Life and Death, Arkana (Penguin), 1988, 150 pp, £4-99, ISBN 0 14 019174 7.
- Hastings, Diana, Crisis Point, survivor's guide to living, Papermac (Macmillan), 1989, ISBN 0 333 48267 0. Has a good chapter on dying.
- Hicks, Cherryl, Who Cares? Looking after people at home, Virago, 1988, 271 pp, £5-95, ISBN 0 86068 834 8. Well-argued case for better provision for carers.
- Hinton, John, Dying, Penguin, 1972, 221 pp, £4-99, ISBN 0 14 020866 6.
- Hockey, Jennifer, Experiences of Death - An anthropological account, Edinburgh University Press, 1990, 218 pp, £30, ISBN 0 7486 0221 6.
- Hockey, Jennifer, Making the Most of a Funeral, CRUSE (see under Organisation below), 1992, 54 pp, £2-50, ISBN 0 900321 04 0. Useful suggestions aimed at priests, such as: involve the family, no rushing, use symbols and include the children.
- Huxley, Laura, This Timeless Moment - A personal view of Aldous Huxley, Chatto and Windus, 1969, 330 pp, ISBN 7011 1439 8. Tells the story of his dying.
- Illingworth, Mary, How to Direct Your Own Funeral, Bookstall Publications (79A Gloucester Road, Bristol BS7 8AS, tel 0272 246248), 1992, booklet, 49 pp, £10.
- John, Da Free, Easy Death - Talks and essays on the inherent and ultimate transcendence of death and everything else, Dawn Horse Press, 1983, 410 pp, $10-95, ISBN 0 913922 57 9.
- Jones, Mary, Secret Flowers - Mourning and the adaptation to loss, Women's Press, 1988, 81 pp, £2-95, ISBN 0 7043 4122 0. About coming to terms with the death of her husband from cancer.
- Kamath, M. V., Philosophy of Death and Dying, Himalayan International Institute of Yoga, Honesdale, PA, USA, 1978.
- Kapleau, Philip, The Wheel of Life and Death - A practical and spiritual guide, Rider (Century Hutchinson), 1989, 371 pp, £8-95, ISBN 0 7126 3621 8.
- Keleman, Stanley, Living Your Dying, Center Press,1974, 156 pp, $7-95 (£6-50), ISBN 0 934320 09 8.
- Kellehear, Allan, Dying of Cancer - The final year of life, Harwood Academic, 1990, 246 pp, $40, ISBN 3 7186 5070 3.
- Kohner, Nancy, Caring at Home: A handbook for people looking after someone at home, National Extension College, 1988, £2-50 from the Kings Fund Centre, 126 Albert St, London NW1 (tel 071 267 6111).
- Kohner, Nancy, and Mares, Penny, Who Cares Now? Caring for an older person, BBC Education, 1991, £1 incl. p&p from Who Cares Now?, PO Box 7, London W3 6XJ.
- Knapp, Ronald J., Beyond Endurance, When a Child Dies, Schocken Books (USA), 1986, £7-95, ISBN 0 8052 0823 2. Records all aspects of the experience of the bereaved parent (including where the child was murdered). Knapp really listened to the 135 families he interviewed.
- Krementz, J., How it Feels when a Parent Dies, Gollancz, 1986. Stories from 18 children.
- Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, AIDS - The Ultimate Challenge, Collier Books (Macmillan, New York),1987, 330 pp, $4-95, ISBN 0 02 059001 6. In UK £6-20 (incl. p&p) from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation (see Organisations below).
- Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, (ed), Death - The Final Stage of Growth, Spectrum (Prentice-Hall), 1975, 179 pp, $2-95, ISBN 0 13 196998 6. In UK £6-20 (incl. p&p) from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation (see Organisations below).
- Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, Living with Death and Dying, Souvenir Press, 1982, 181 pp, £7-95, ISBN 0 285 64957 4. In UK £8-20 (incl. p&p) from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation (see Organisations below).
- Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, On Children and Death, Collier Books (Macmillan, New York), 1985, 279 pp, $5-95, ISBN 0 02 076670 X. In UK £6 (incl. p&p) from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation (see Organisations below).
- Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, On Death and Dying, Tavistock Publications (Routledge), 1973, 272 pp, £9-99, ISBN 0 415 04015 9. In UK £11-24 (incl. p&p) from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation (see Organisations below).
- Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, On Life After Death, Celestial Arts (Berkeley, California), 1991, 82 pp, $7-95, ISBN 0 89087 653 3. In UK £6-95 (incl. p&p) from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation (see Organisations below).
- Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, photos by Warshaw, Mal, To Live Until We Say Goodbye, Prentice-Hall, 1978, 160 pp, $10-99 (£8-95). In UK £10-45 (incl. p&p) from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation (see Organisations below).
- Kupferman, Jeanette, When the Crying's Done, Robson Books. Her experience of widowhood, moving and courageous.
- Lake, Dr Tony, Living With Grief, Sheldon Press, 1984. Sensitively written.
- Lamerton, Richard, Care of the Dying, Pelican, 1980, 240 pp, £4-99, ISBN 0 14 022275 8.
- Lamm, Maurice, The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning, Jonathan David Publishers (NY), 1989.
- Leary, Timothy and Metzner, Ralph and Alpert, Richard, The Psychedelic Experience - A manual based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead, Citadel, 1990, 157 pp, $7-95, ISBN 0 8065 0552 4.
- Levine, Stephen, A Gradual Awakening, Gateway Books (The Hollies, Wellow, Bath BA2 8QJ), 1979, £5-95.
- Levine, Stephen, Guided Meditations, Exploration, Healings, Gateway Books, 1992, £8-95.
- Levine, Stephen, Meetings at the Edge, Gateway Books, 1982, £6-95.
- [***] Levine, Stephen, Healing into Life & Death, Gateway Books, 1990, 290 pp, £7-95, ISBN 0 946551 48 0. Contains a number of useful meditations.
- NDC[***] Levine, Stephen, Who Dies? - An investigation of conscious living and conscious dying, Gateway Books, 1986, 317 pp, £7-95, ISBN 0 946551 45 6.
- Lewis, C. S., A Grief Observed, Faber & Faber, 1966 (reprinted1985), £1-95.
- Lewis, Martyn, Tears and Smiles: The hospice handbook, Michael O'Mara Books, 1989.
- Litten, Julian, The English Way of Death - The common funeral since 1450, Robert Hale, 1991, 254 pp, £25, ISBN 0 7090 4350 3.
- Lodö, Lama, Bardo Teachings, Snow Lion (Ithaca, NY) 1987. For the Buddhist stages of death.
- Lorimer, David, Whole in One - The Near-Death Experience and the ethic of interconnectedness, Arkana (Penguin),1990, 340 pp, £6-99, ISBN 0 14 019258 1.
- Macllanan, Maggie, and Kelley, Patricia, Final Gifts, Hodder and Stoughton, £9-99, ISBN 0 340 57471 X. 'The subtleties of communicating with the dying.'
- Manning, Doug, Don't Take My Grief Away - What to do when you lose a loved one, Harper & Row, 1984.
- Mathias, Beverley and Spiers, Desmond, A Handbook on Death and Bereavement Helping Children Understand, National Libary for the Handicapped Child, 1992, ISBN 0 948664 10 X.
- Melonie, Bryan and Ingpen, Robert, Beginnings and Endings, With Lifetimes in Between, Bantam Books (USA), 1983, £4-95, ISBN 1 850288 038 X. For children 8 to 11.
- Messenger, Dally, Ceremonies for Today, Armadale (Brian Zouch Publications, Victoria), 1979. Examples of Australian life-centred funerals.
- Mooney, Bel, Perspectives for Living, John Murray. A collection of interviews with bereaved people.
- Morgan, Ernest, Dealing Creatively with Death, Barclay House, 1990, 167 pp, $11-95, ISBN 0 935016 79 1.
- Morse, Melvyn, Closer to the Light, Ivy Books (Ballantine, New York), 1990, 237 pp, ISBN 0 8041 0832 3.
- Mullin, Glenn H., Death and Dying - The Tibetan tradition, Arkana (Penguin), 1986, 251 pp, £5-95, ISBN 1 85063 024 0.
- Nearing, Helen, Loving and Leaving the Good Life, Chelsea Green Publishing Company (Post Mills, Vermont, USA), 1992, 197 pp, $19-95, ISBN 0 930031 54 7; £10 hardback in UK (p & p extra) from Kathleen Jannaway, 47 Highlands, Leatherhead, Surrey KT22 8NQ. The life and dying of Scott Nearing.
- Neuberger, Julia, Caring for Dying People of Different Faiths, Austen Cornish, 59 pp, £5-50, ISBN 1 870065 00 X.
- Neuberger, Julia and White, John (eds), A Necessary End - Attitudes to death, Papermac (Macmillan), 1991, 178 pp, £10-99, ISBN 0 333 48276 X.
- Nuttall, Derek, The Early Days of Grieving, Beaconsfield.
- Owens, Dr R. G. and Naylor, F., GP, Living While Dying - What to do and what to say when you are, or someone close to you is dying, Thorsons, 1989, 112 pp, £4-99, ISBN 0 7225 1620 7.
- Parrish-Harra, Carol, A New Age Handbook of Death and Dying, De Vorss (Marina del Rey, California) 1982, 138 pp, $5-95, ISBN 0 87516 470 6. Poignant about the loss of her own children, and with a psychic dimension.
- Riemer, Jack (ed), Jewish Reflections on Death and Mourning, Shocken Books (NY), 1976.
- Ring, Kenneth, Heading Toward Omega - In search of the meaning of the Near-Death Experience, Quill, 1985, 348 pp, $8-95, ISBN 0 688 06268 7.
- Rinpochay, Lati and Hopkins, Jeffrey, Death, Intermediate State and Rebirth, Rider, 1979.
- [***] Rinpoche, Sogyal, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Rider/Random House, 1992, 427 pp, hardback, £16-99, ISBN 0 7126 5437 2. Superb and compassionate book on spiritual help for the dying, and well adapted for the Westerner. It gives the background of the teachings, rather than being a prayer book to use. (See also Rigpa in Organisations, below.)
- Rose, Xenia, Widow's Journey - A return to living, Souvenir Press, 1992, 204 pp, £13-95, ISBN 0 285 65098 X.
- St Christopher's Hospice, Someone Special Has Died, St Christopher's Hospice (see Organisations below), 8 pp. An illustrated booklet for children.
- St Christopher's Hospice, Your Parent Has Died, St Christopher's Hospice (see Organisations below), 1991.
- Sanders, Dr Catherine, Surviving Grief and Learning to Live Again, John Wiley and Sons Inc (New York), 1992, 223 pp, $10-95, ISBN 0 471 53471 4.
- Saunders, Cicely, Hospice and Palliative Care - An interdisciplinary approach, Edward Arnold, 1990, 120 pp, ISBN 0 340 54462 7.
- Schiff, Harriet Sarnoff, The Bereaved Parent, Souvenir Press, 1979 (& 1992), 146 pp, £6-99, ISBN 0 285 64891 8.
- Smith, E. Lester, Our Last Adventure - A commonsense guide to death and after, Theosophical Publishing, 1985, 100 pp, £4-95, ISBN 0 7229 5122 1.
- [***] Social Security, Department of, What To Do After A Death, Leaflet D49 available free from DSS Leaflets Unit, PO Box 21, Stanmore, Middx HA7 1AY (or phone 0800 666555, best between 4-30pm and 7pm), 1990, 60 pp.
- [***] Spottiswoode, Jane, Undertaken with Love, Robert Hale, 1991, 175 pp, £12-95 hardback, £5-95 paperback, ISBN 0 7090 4394 5. About a funeral without an undertaker.
- [***] Staudacher, Carol, Beyond Grief - A guide to recovering from the death of a loved one, Condor (Souvenir Press), 1988, 244 pp, £8-95, ISBN 0 285 65069 6.
- Stedeford, Averil, Facing Death Patients, families and professionals, Heinemann, 1988, £10-95, ISBN 0 433 31550 4. Dealing with physical pain, fear of death, etc.
- Stickney, Doris, Waterbugs and Butterflies, Mowbrays, 1987, booklet, 95p, ISBN 0 26466 904 5. Explaining death to children under 5.
- Stillbirth and Neo-Natal Death Society (SANDS), The Loss of Your Baby, booklet for bereaved parents (see Organisations below).
- Stuart, Alexander and Totterdel, Ann, 51/2 x 3 - The short life and death of Joe Buffalo Stuart, Vintage, 1991, 306 pp, £5-99, ISBN 0 09 988330 9.
- NDC[***] Taylor, Allegra, Acquainted with the Night - A year on the frontier of death, Fontana (Harper Collins), 1989, 187 pp, £3-99, ISBN 0 00 637249 X.
- Wallbank, Susan, Facing Grief - bereavement and the young adult, available from CRUSE (see under Organisations below), £7.95 inc. p&p.
- [***] Walter, Dr Tony, Funerals - And how to improve them, Hodder & Stoughton, 1990, 307 pp, £9-99, ISBN 0 340 53125 8.
- Waugh, Evelyn, The Loved One, Penguin, 1951, 127 pp, £3-99, ISBN 0 14 018249 7. A satire on the funeral industry in the United States.
- Wells, Rosemary, Helping Children Cope with Grief: Facing a death in the family, Sheldon Press, 1988, £2-95.
- Wertheimer, Alison, A Special Scar, Routledge, 1991, ISBN 0 41501 763 7. Experiences of people bereaved through suicide, excellent for both the bereaved and professionals.
- [***] Which? Books, What To Do When Someone Dies, Consumers' Association (credit card orders, tel 0992 587773),1991, 142 pp, £9-95 incl. p&p, ISBN 0 340 56631 0.
- Which? Books, Wills and Probate, Consumers' Association (credit card orders, tel 0992 587773),1991, 224 pp, £9-95 incl. p&p, ISBN 0 340 56632 9.
- White, John, A Practical Guide to Death and Dying, Quest, 1988, 196 pp, $7-50, ISBN 0 8356 0633 3.
- Wilber, Ken, Grace and Grit, Shambhala, 1992. About the death of his wife from cancer.
- Wilkins, Robert, The Fireside Book of Death, Robert Hale,1990, 256 pp, £14-95, ISBN 0 7090 4144 6.
- Williams, Pam, Knowing About Caring for the Dying from author, c/o College of Nursing Midwifery, Barnsley Hospital, Gawber Rd, Barnsley S75 2EP. How nurses' training is now and how it could be improved.
[***]Willson, Jane Wynne, Funerals Without God - A practical guide to non-religious funerals, British Humanist Association (see under Organisations below), 1989, 58 pp, £3 incl. p&p, ISBN 0 901825 14 X.
- Worden, William, Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy, Tavistock (Routledge), 1989, £7-99, ISBN 0 415 02923 6.
- Zaleski, Carol, Otherworld Journeys - Accounts of Near-Death Experience in medieval and modern times, OUP (New York), 1987, 274 pp, $8-95, ISBN 0 19 505665 5.
BOOKSHOPS: The Natural Death Centre book service, c/o Institute for Social Inventions, 20 Heber Road, London NW2 6AA (tel 081 208 2853; fax 081 452 6434) sells (or will pass on your order for) the three highly recommended books above which are marked 'NDC[***]'. Please add 20% for postage and packing (50% foreign airmail) and make any cheque payable to 'ISI'. Further copies of this present Handbook are also also obtainable from the Centre for £11 incl. p&p. If urgent, phone your order through for these books, giving your Access, Visa or Mastercard number. Please add the extra 4% which the bank charges for this credit card service. Otherwise, probably one of the best bookshops in London for books on dying is Watkins, 21 Cecil Court, London WC2N 4EZ (tel 071 836 2182); sometimes good for American imports is Compendium Bookshop, 234 Camden High St, London NW1 8QS (tel 071 484 8944), or Airlift distributors (tel 071 607 5792 for mail order). St Christopher's Hospice have a book service too: 51-59 Lawrie Park Road, London SE26 6DZ (tel 081 778 9252). Outside London, Meditec, Jackson's Yard, Brewery Hill, Grantham, Lincs NG31 6DW (tel 0476 590505) has a large catalogue of mail order books on death and dying. The Natural Death Centre can help with fuller details on publishers' addresses, etc, for some of the books on this booklist, if required.
- Boerstler, Richard, Letting Go: Holistic and Meditative Approach to Death and Dying, Associates in Thanatology, 115 Blue Rock Road, South Yarmouth, MA 02664, USA. Half hour video ($29 incl. p&p) about this simple method, make sure it is playable on your UK machine - The Natural Death Centre, address below, may be able to lend you their poor-quality copy. See also book version, above. Joanna Gilpin, Laurel Cottage, West Horrington, Wells BA5 3ED (tel 0749 675832) runs seminars on this method.
- British Holistic Medical Association (see Organisations below) - tapes at $9-95 incl. p&p include Imagery for Relaxation, Coping with Persistent Pain, Coping with Stress, Introducing Meditation and The Breath of Life relaxation).
- Collick, Elizabeth, Through Grief, tape available from CRUSE (see under Organisations below), £3-90 inc. p&p. Also available as a book (see above). Offers sensible maxims.
- Gold, E. J., tapes ($15)- Bardo Dreams, The Lazy Man's Guide to Death and Dying and How I Raised Myself from the Dead in 49 Days or Less also Gold's books in the UK from Donald Suckling, 2 Boyswell House, Scholes, Wigan WN1 3QG (tel 0942 43551).
- Jones, Ken, Caring as a Spiritual Practice, 27 video from Meridian Trust (tel 071 289 5443). Promoting the sharing of common generosity of spirit.
- Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, Life, Death & Life After Death audiotape £6), Aids, Life and Love a video conversation), and other such tapes and videos, all from The Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation (see Organisations below).
- Levine, Stephen tapes are available from Gateway Books (see Levine's books, above, for address) at £6-96 each, incl. p&p. His tapes (and his schedule of workshops) are also available from Warm Rock Tapes, PO Box 108, Chamisal, NM 87521, USA. Send two international reply coupons for details.
- Long, Barry, May I Speak to you of Death, audiotape from the Barry Long Foundation, Whistlands, Langley Marsh, Wiveliscombe, Somerset TA4 2UJ (tel 0984 23426).
- Marie Curie Memorial Foundation, Caring for your Relative at Home, useful VHS video £25 (incl. booklet) from Marie Curie (see Organisations below). New EC Directives put a caution on its recommendations for lifting patients (see our chapter four).
- Mental Health Media Council, 380 Harrow Road, London W9 2HU (tel 071 286 2346) puts out a catalogue (price £3-50) of films and videos available for sale or hire in the UK on the subjects of Death and Bereavement, many of them aimed at professionals, some about euthanasia, others on Near-Death Experiences, etc.
- Relaxation for Living, 168/170 Oatlands Drive, Weybridge, Surrey KT13 9ET (tel 0932 858355). Tapes, classes on relaxation, 85p article on easing grief, large SAE for info.
- Roach, Steve: his Structures from Silence music (and a 60 minute piece on the album World's Edge) re-creates the sounds he heard during his Near-Death Experience (tel USA 0101 602 760 0004; fax 0101 602 760 0551; UK distributor Laurence Aston at TM records, tel 0734 312 580; fax 0734 312 582). Also Gilles Bédard in Quebec (tel 0101 514 279 2413; fax 0101 514 279 3033) is working with Roach to produce a Soundquest to Omega album of NDE music.
- Tibetan Book of the Dead reading at a cremation in Ladakh - Fields of the Senses video, part 3 of Tibet: A Buddhist Trilogy by Thread Cross Films, Bath.
- Yeshe, Lama, Death and the Transference of Consciousness, video about the Tibetan view of death and life. £32 from Meridian Trust (tel 071 289 5443).
- Age Concern, Astral House, 1268 London Road, London SW16 4ER (tel 081 679 8000). Age Concern has a will-writing service which can help you draw up a simple will for £40, based on a questionnaire you fill in. Also leaflets (send SAE) on arranging a funeral, etc.
- Alder Centre, Royal Liverpool Children's NHS Trust, Eaton Road, Liverpool L12 2AP (tel 051 228 4811; helpline 051 228 9759 from 7pm to 10pm every evening). For all those affected by a child's death. Counselling, groups, befriending (see also The Compassionate Friends).
- Alzheimer's Disease Society, 158-160 Balham High Road, London SW12 9BN (tel 081 675 6557). Information on aids, services and resources.
- Ananda Network. This is a fine initiative: the Network's volunteers offer companisionship to the dying or bereaved of any religion or none. See Buddhist Hospice Trust (below) for address. One of its volunteers, Caroline Sherwood (Parsonage Farm Cottage, Stoney Stratton, Shepton Mallet BA4 6EA, tel 0749 830827), offers counselling and teaching by phone or mail for people wanting help with fear of death or associated issues.
- Asian Family Counselling Service, -12 Lancaster Road, Southall UB1 1NW (tel 081 813 8321).
- Association for Children with Life-threatening Conditions and their families ACT), Institute of Child Health, Royal Hospital for Sick Children, St Michael's Hill, Bristol BS2 8BJ (tel 0272 221556). Advice and information.
- Association for Death Education and Counselling, 638 Prospect Avenue, Hartford, CT 06105-4298, USA (tel 0101203 232 4825). Conferences and courses.
- Association of Crossroads Care Attendant Schemes, 10 Regents Place, Rugby, Warwickshire CV21 2PN (tel 0788 573653). Trained carers who take over from the regular carer completely in looking after a disabled person at home, so as to give the carer a break.
- Association to Aid Sexual and Personal Relationship of the Disabled SPOD), 286 Camden Road, London N7 OBJ (tel 071 607 8851). Information and advice for clients.
- BACUP British Association of Cancer United Patients), 3 Bath Place, Rivington St, London EC2A 3JR. Free advice about cancer from nurse specialists (tel 0800 181199) and free counselling sessions in the London area (tel 071 696 9000).
- The Befriending Network, 11 St Bernards Road, Oxford OX2 6EH (tel 01865 512405). Volunteers visiting those with life-threatening illnesses, normally for two or three days a week.
- Bristol Cancer Help Centre, Grove House, Cornwallis Grove, Clifton, Bristol BS8 4PG (tel 0272 743216). Holistic treatment and publications.
- British Association for Counselling, Regent Place, Rugby, Warwickshire CV21 2PJ (tel 0788 578328; office 550899). Has information on organisations, counsellors and therapists nationwide that you can pay to see - although some are free.
- British Holistic Medical Association, 179 Gloucester Place, London NW1 6DX (tel 071 262 5299). Self-help breathing, relaxation, meditation and diet books and tapes (see Tapes and Videos, above) and an informative newsletter.
- British Humanist Association, 14 Lambs Conduit Passage, London WC1R 4AH (tel 071 430 0908). Can provide officiant (normally charging £50-£60) for non-religious funeral. See also Jane Wynne Willson under books, above.
- British Organ Donor Society BODY), Balsham, Cambridge CB1 6DL (tel 0223 893636). Self-help groups for recipients and families of organ donors, and general enquiries.
- The Buddhist Hospice Trust , PO Box 123, Ashford, Kent TN24 9TF (tel c/o Ray Wills 081 789 6170). A particularly friendly organisation. 'It was established in 1986 to explore Buddhist approaches to dying, death and bereavement. It is a non-sectarian and welcomes both Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike. Its purpose is to bring together, in a creative way, the teachings of the Buddha and the philosophy of modern hospice care.' In fact it confesses that it is at this stage just a network of people,'a hospice of the heart', rather than a building. Has a quarterly magazine Raft (£4 subs.). Volunteers in its Ananda Network are prepared to sit with and befriend the terminally ill. See also Tapes and Videos, above.
- CALL Centre Cancer Aid and Listening Line), Swan Buildings, 20 Swan St, Manchester M4 5JW (tel 061 835 2586 noon-3pm, 061 434 8668 24 hrs). Emotional support and practical advice for cancer patients and families.
- CancerLink, 17 Britannia Street, London WC1X 9JN (tel 071 833 2451). A central information and publishing resource for cancer patients and their families. One of its aims is to organise local self-help groups. Useful pamphlets on everything from sexuality to complementary alternative treatments and caring for the dying at home.
- Care for the Carers Council, 143 High St, Lewes, East Sussex BN7 1XT (tel 0273 476819). Advice, information and support, primarily for the East Sussex area.
- Carer's National Association, 29 Chilworth Mews, London W2 3RG (tel helpline 071 723 8117). Advice for carers and newly bereaved. Phone to find out your local branch.
- The Center for Attitudinal Healing, 19 Main St, Tiburon, California 94920, USA (tel 0101 415 435 5022). Works with children facing serious illnesses, and with children whose parents have cancer, etc. Their video 'Under the Sun' (which emphasises that health is inner peace and that the present instant is the only time there is) may be available on loan from the Buddhist Hospice Trust (see above).
- The Cemetery Journal, 46 Broadmead, Hitchin, Herts SG4 9LX (£6 sub). A delightfully irreverent newsletter on many aspects of death.
- Child Death Helpline tel 071 829 8685. For anyone affected by the death of a child. Parent volunteers take calls on Mondays and Thursdays 7pm to 10pm.
- Citizens Advice Bureau, free, impartial, confidential advice about death, bereavement, financial and all other matters, etc. See your local phone book or contact the HQ, Myddelton House, 115-123 Pentonville Rd, London N1 9LZ (tel 071 833 2181; fax 071 833 4371) for details of your nearest branch.
- The Compassionate Friends, 53 North Street, Bristol BS3 1EN (tel 0117 953 9639 helpline; tel 0117 966 5202 admin). Befriending bereaved adults. Also a very fine newsletter and a postal lending library for books.
- The Cot Death Society, 116 Alt Road, Formby, Merseyside L37 8BW (tel 07048 70005).
- Counsel and Care, advice and help for older people, Twyman House, 16 Bonny St, London NW1 9PG (tel 071 485 1550). May be able to give a grant for nursing care, also provides counselling for those elderly people needing it, and helps find London homes.
- Court of Protection if you need to apply to manage the affairs of someone who has become mentally incapacitated - The Public Trust Office, Protection Division, Stewart House, 24 Kingsway, London WC2B 6JX (tel 071 269 7300).
- Cremation Society of Great Britain, 2nd Floor, Brecon House, 16/16a Albion Place, Maidstone, Kent ME14 5DZ (tel 0622 688292). Can tell you the crematorium nearest you. Publish a free booklet on 'What You Should Know About Cremation', and a directory of crematoria (£16-50).
- CRUSE for all those who have suffered a bereavement: socials and advice, counselling and excellent publications), Cruse House, 126 Sheen Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1UR (tel 081 940 4818). Counsellor available on 081 332 7227 weekdays 9.30am to 5pm.
- Death and Immortality Course, /o David Badham, St David's University College, Lampeter, Dyfed, Wales SA48 7ED (tel 0570 422351). (Described in Chapter 4.)
- Death Studies journal, Taylor and Francis Ltd, 4 John St, London WC1N 2ET, subs. £39.
- Disablement Income Group, Mill Mead Business Centre, Mill Mead Road, London N17 9QU (tel 081 801 8013). Advice on negotiating the nightmare bureaucracy of benefits and services.
- Disabled Living Foundation, 380-384 Harrow Road, London W9 2HU (tel 071 289 6111). Advice on incontinence, equipment and aids.
- Disaster Action, 11 Lamb St, London E1 6EA (tel 071 377 6691). For those bereaved following a major disaster such as plane crash.
- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation, PO Box 212, London NW8 7NW. In the USA the Foundation's phone number is 0101 703 396 3441). It organises workshops and sells books, tapes and videos (see above).
- Equipment for the Disabled, Mary Marlborough Lodge, Nuffield Orthopaedic Centre, Headington, Oxford OX3 7LD (tel 0865 750103). Booklets on a range of aids.
- The Family Welfare Association, 501-505 Kingsland Road, Dalston, London E8 4AU (tel 071 254 6251). Gives grants to individuals and families.
- Federation of British Cremation Authorities, 41 Salisbury Road, Carshalton, Surrey SM5 3HA (tel 081 669 4521).
- Federation of Independent Advice Centres, 13 Stockwell Road, London SW9 9AU (tel 071 274 1839). Phone for the nearest grassroots or specialist agency to you.
- The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths information, fundraising for cot deaths research, befriending service, local groups), 35 Belgrave Square, London SW1X 8QB (tel 071 235 0965; helpline: 071 235 1721).
- The Funeral Ombudsman, 31 Southampton Row, London WC1B 5HJ (tel 0171 430 1112; fax 0171 430 1012). For complaints about Co-op and non NAFD-funeral directors. - Funeral Service Journal, 121 London Rd, Knebworth, Herts SG3 6EX (tel 0438 814441). The best of the funeral trade journals. Founded 1885.
- Helen House - A Hospice for Children, 37 Leopold Street, Oxford OX4 1QT (tel 0865 728251). There are other children's hospices in Yorkshire, Birmingham, Manchester and Cambridge, with more planned.
- Help the Hospices, 34-44 Britannia St, London WC1X 9JG (tel 071 278 5668). Helps fund hospices' projects, equipment, education and research.
- Hospice Arts, Dr David Frampton, Chelmsford Hospice, 212 New London Road, Chelmsford CM2 9AE (tel 0245 358130 or c/o 071 377 8484). Helps hospices to run art projects.
- The Hospice Information Service, at St. Christopher's Hospice, 51-59 Lawrie Park Road, Sydenham, London SE26 6DZ (tel081 778 9252; fax 081-659 8680). A very helpful organisation that puts out a regular newsletter giving the latest developments on the domestic and international scene and provides information about local hospices. Also issue a series of fact sheets including 'Setting Up and Running a Home Care Service.'
- Ian Rennie Hospice at Home, Little Rothschild House, 71 Marsworth Road, Pitstone, Bedford LU7 9AX (tel 0296 661667). Trained nurses provide free full nursing breaks for those caring for the terminally ill in the Buckinghamshire area.
- International Association for Near-Death Experiences, David Lorimer, Lesser Halings, Tilehouse Lane, Denham, Near Uxbridge, Middlesex UB9 5DG (tel & fax 01895 835818; home 01895 832495;e-mail:
- Intractable Pain Society IPS), Bradford Royal Infirmary, Duckworth Lane, Bradford, West Yorks, BD9 6RJ. Able to supply information concerning the locality of pain clinics. Membership of the society is limited to the medical profession only.
- Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service, 1 Cyprus Gardens, London N3 1SP (tel 081 349 0839 answerphone; 071 387 4399 ext 227 office hours).
- John Bell and Croyden, 50 Wigmore St, London W1, tel 071 935 5555 ext 212. Chemist for specialist medical requirements, everything from a sheepskin rug (£35) to a walking frame(£42-50). Publishes a 150 page catalogue aimed at professionals.
- Kübler-Ross Foundation, see Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, above.
- Law Centres can provide free advice about wills etc for those who are hard-up. See the Helplines page in the front of your local Thomson Phone Directory or phone 071 387 8570 to find your nearest one.
- Lesbian and Gay Bereavement Project, Vaughan M. Williams Centre, Colindale Hospital, London NW9 5GJ (tel 081 455 8894 helpline, 081 200 0511 admin. 3-6pm). Can also advise about funerals which acknowledge the partner.
- London Association of Bereavement Services, 68 Chalton Street, London NW1 1JR (tel 071 388 2153). Supporting and linking London bereavement services.
- London Lighthouse, 111-117 Lancaster Road, London W11 1QT (tel 071 792 1200). 'A centre for people facing the challenge of AIDS.' London Lighthouse has facilities for its own funeral and memorial services.
- Macmillan nurses, /o Cancer Relief Macmillan Fund, 15-19 Britten St, London SW3 3TZ (tel 071 351 7811). The Fund's nurses can help with emotional support, pain and symptom control. It provides financial assistance for some cancer patients and financially supports or helps funding of organisations caring for patients with cancer.
- Malik, Yvonne, Sweet Briar, Wray, Near Lancaster LA2 8QN (tel 015242 21767). Accepts commissions for painting coffins and for meditative glass engravings. Designs Memory Boxes and other death-related objects.
- Marie Curie Cancer Care, 28 Belgrave Square, London SW1X 8QG (tel 071 235 3325) Phone for information about this organisation's hospice centres, and advice about the availability of night nurses, who are free, but normally obtained through your health authority's community nursing manager.
- Memorial Advisory Bureau, 139 Kensington High St, London W8 6SX (tel 071 937 0052). Advice on technical and legal aspects of memorials.
- Memorials by Artists, Snape Priory, Saxmundham, Suffolk, IP17 1SA (tel 01728 688 934). £5 booklet, incl. postage and packing, second edition, contains articles, advice and 37 photographs.
- Miscarriage Association, Clayton Hospital, Northgate, Wakefield WF1 3JF (tel 0924 200799). Support groups and information.
- Motor Neurone Disease Association, PO Box 246, Northampton NN1 2PR (tel 0604 250505/22269). Advice, information, equipment loan. Regional advisers. Financial help.
- National Black Bereavement Foundation, 25 Baysham St, Camden, London NW1 (tel 071 388 5551).
- National Information for Parents of Prematures Education, Resources and Support NIPPERS), PO Box 1553, Wedmore, Somerset BS28 4LZ (tel 0934 733123). Support group and newsletter for parents whose babies die in special care baby units.
- National Association of Bereavement Services, 20 Norton Folgate, London E1 6DB (tel 071 247 1080 referrals; 071 247 0617 admin).
- National Association of Funeral Directors, 618 Warwick Road, Solihull, West Midlands B91 1AA (tel 021 711 1343). Its members' Code of Practice is available free. If complaining about a funeral director, you are supposed to write first to the funeral director for satisfaction, though there is nothing to prevent you going direct to the Association or to the trading standards department (see local council's phone number) or to a small claims court. The Association's magazine is called 'The Funeral Director'.
- National Association of Memorial Masons, Crown Buildings, High Street, Aylesbury, Bucks HP20 1SL (tel 0296 434 750). Code of ethics for members. It offers arbitration.
- National Association of Widows, 54-57 Allison Street, Digbeth, Birmingham B5 5TH (tel 021 643 8348). Pamphlets and a survival guide, plus local branch socials.
- National Federation of Spiritual Healers, Old Manor Farm Studio, Church Street, Sunbury-on-Thames TW16 6RG (tel 0932 783164).
- National Funerals College, c/o Rev Dr Peter Jupp, Braddan House, High St, Duddington, Stamford, Lincs PE9 3QE. For improving funerals.
- Natural Death Centre, 20 Heber Road, London NW2 6AA (tel 0181 208 2853; fax 0181 452 6434; e-mail:
- Office of Fair Trading, Field House, 15-25 Breams Buildings, London EC4A 1PR (tel 071 242 8526; fax 071 269 8543). Christopher Wright in its Competition Policy Division 2 has been dealing with the Natural Death Centre's complaints about competition issues relating to the funeral trade. Its report 'Funerals' (1989) is interesting.
- Open University 'Death and Dying' course, /o Prof Malcolm Johnson, Dept of Health and Social Welfare, Walton Hall, Milton Keynes MK7 6AA (tel 0908 653695; fax 0908 653744). (Described in the chapter on Training.)
- Pagan Hospice and Funeral Trust in the UK, BM Box 3337, London WC1 3XX.
- Parents of Murdered Children Support Group, 92 Corbett Tay Road, Upminster, Essex RM14 2BA (tel 0708 640400).
- P. A. T. Dog, /o Lesley Scott-Ordish, Rocky Bank, 4 New Road, Ditton, Maidstone, Kent ME20 7AD (tel 0732 848499). Arranges dogs to visit the sick and the elderly.
- Probate Registry, Personal Applications Dept, 2nd Floor, Principal Registry, Family Division, Somerset House, Strand, London WC2R 1LP (tel 071 936 6983 or 6974).
- Rainbow Trust, Rainbow House, 47 Eastwick Drive, Great Bookham, Surrey KT23 3PU (tel 0372 453309). Help and respite haven for terminally ill children and their families.
- React, 73 Whitehall Park Road, London W4 3NB (tel 081 995 8188). Money and equipment for children with reduced life expectancy. Applications via doctor or a professional worker.
- Rigpa, 330 Caledonian Road, London N1 1BB (tel 071 700 0185). Tibetan Buddhist centre founded Sogyal Rinpoche. Runs courses on death and dying (see also Sogyal Rinpoche's book, above; and Tibetan approach, below).
- Samaritans, 10 The Grove, Slough, Berks SL1 1QP (tel 0753 532713). Or see local phone book. For those in despair or suicidal.
- Shadow of Suicide SOS), 6 Denmark St, Bristol BS1 5DQ (tel 0272 292778). Support for parents (and possibly grandparents and siblings) where a child (of any age, including adult) has committed suicide.
- Shanti Nilaya now known as Elisabeth Kübler Ross Foundation (see above).
- Social Security, for how to claim benefits, etc, phone free to 0800 666555 (often no reply; easier to get through from 4-30pm to 7pm) or go via your local office, under H for Health and Social Security in your local phone book. Potentially relevant leaflets to ask for include 'Help when someone Dies' (FB29), 'National insurance for widows' (NI51), 'Rates of war pensions and allowances' (MPL 154), 'War widows and other dependants' (MPL 152), 'What to do after a death' (D49) and 'Widow's benefits' (NP 45).
- Society of Allied Funeral Directors, c/o Ray Shimmell, 146a High St, Tonbridge, Kent TN9 1BB (tel 01732 770 332). Coordinating body for the smaller independent firms.
- Spiritual healing see also National Federation of): John Avery, 31 Wakefield Gardens, London SE19 2NR (tel 081 653 3982), who 'works more and more with the terminally ill'.
Rosy Creasy, 165 Lower Richmond Road, Putney, London SW15 1LY (tel 081 788 6214). 'I use colour, sound and visualisation to help people to love themselves.'
Philippa Pullar, 7 St Mary's Grove, London SW13 OJA (tel 081 789 0243). Author of 'Spiritual and Lay Healing', she draws comfort from her own Near-Death Experience.
Inga Marie Solders, Roslagsgatan 19B, S-11355 Stockholm, Sweden (tel 010 468 612 5809), believes she can help the soul to pass over the river of death.
- The Starlight Foundation, 8A Bloomsbury Square, London WC1A 2LP (tel 071 430 1642), attempts to grant the wishes of critically ill children.
- The Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (SANDS), 28 Portland Place, London W1N 4DE (tel 071 436 5881). Befriending, local groups, information and publications.
- Terence Higgins Trust 52-54 Grays Inn Road, London WC1X 8JU (admin tel 071 831 0330; helpline 12 noon to 10pm daily tel 071 242 1010). A registered charity to inform, advise and help on AIDS and HIV infection.
- Tibetan approach: Ngakpa Chogyam Rinpoche can give talks and empowerments on the theme of death and dying. His secretary's address is 5 Court Close, Whitchurch, Cardiff CF4 1JR (tel 0222 620332). (See also Rigpa, above.)
- Transition (Caochladh), /o Steve Gwyn Davies, Council for Voluntary Organisations, Bridge Road, Portree, Isle of Skye IV51 9ER (tel 0478 2921 or 047852 271). Offers friendship, information and positive support for people who are dying or concerned about dying. 'Shares aims of Natural Death Centre, would like a Scottish or UK network.'
- Twins and Multiple Births Association - Bereavement Support Group, PO Box 30, Little Sutton, South Wirral L66 1TH (tel 051 348 0020).
- Unitarian Churches, /o Matthew Smith, Unitarian Information Officer, Essex Hall, 1-6 Essex St, Strand, London WC2R 3HY, tel 071 240 2384. Unitarian ministers conduct flexible funerals without dogma.
- Victim Support, National Office, Cranmer House, 39 Brixton Road, London SW9 6DZ (tel 071 735 9166). Trained volunteers offer one-to-one help to victims of crime.
- Voluntary Euthanasia Society, 13 Prince of Wales Terrace, London W8 5PG (tel 071 937 7770). The Society pioneered the Living Will (advance directive) in the UK and is pressing for a parliamentary bill to give it definite legal backing.
- Voluntary Euthanasia Society of Scotland, 17 Hart Street, Edinburgh EH1 3RN (tel 031 556 4404). Christopher Grant Docker there is very knowledgeable about the varieties of Living Will texts worldwide.
- War Widows Association of Great Britain, 17 The Earl's Croft, Coventry CV3 5ES (tel 0203 503298). Advice for all war widows. Can supply a local contact.
- Welfare State International, the celebratory arts company,' The Ellers, Ulverston, Cumbria LA12 1AA (tel 0229 581127; fax 0229 581232). Artistic director John Fox offers consultancies for imaginative memorial services, lanterns, urns, etc.
- Workshops on living and dying are run by Christianne Heal of the Natural Death Centre (send SAE, address above); also, independently, by Joanna Gilpin, Laurel Cottage, West Horrington, Wells BA5 3ED.
- Yad b'Yad Hebrew for 'Hand in Hand'), a Jewish child bereavement project. The contact person is Louise Heilbron (tel 081 444 7134).
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