Funeral wishes, whether in a Will or in a letter or in a form as below, are not legally binding on friends and relatives, but will normally be followed where at all possible. At the very least, what follows may stimulate you to think of the kind of funeral you might or might not like; and to make sure that those who may be responsible in the event know your wishes. Where sample prices are given below, these are 1995 prices. This is a first draft, and suggested improvements are welcomed. See also The Natural Death Centre's Death Plan form for requirements whilst dying, and the Centre's Living Will form. [Separate sheets can be used for longer responses, using the numbers below to refer your reponses back to. Underline or tick or cross out or rewrite or amplify as relevant. This form can be photocopied.]
(1) I have / have not written a Will [location....................... .............] which expresses / does not express my funeral wishes. [If there is such a Will] please treat this present document as expanding on the wishes expressed in that Will, with the Will taking legal precedence if relevant.
(2) My next of kin is [name, address, phone number].
(3) With this Will / this present document is also added all potentially needed information such as NHS card, birth and marriage certificates, bank account details, credit cards, hire purchase agreements, mortgage and home insurance details, council rent department, local gas, electricity, water and telephone offices, life insurance, car details, share certificate details, premium bonds, pension details, details of doctor, solicitor, accountant, stockbroker, employer, main clients. Also my home address, my last occupation, full name and occupation of spouse and my maiden name [if a married woman]. Plus any deeds to a grave.
(4) I have / do not have any preferences about what happens to my body. [If no preferences] I leave it all entirely in the discretion of ................................... .
(5) I do / do not wish to donate my body / my organs [specify which and to whom, if relevant; relevant organisations include the British Heart Foundation, tel 0171 935 0185 who have an all-organ donor card; and the HM Inspector of Anatomy, tel 0171 972 4342, re body donation].
(6) If possible, I wish my body left undisturbed after my death for .................... hours / days.
(7) Nurses attending the death normally lay out the body, but I would / would not like it very much if .................................... could also assist / do this instead.
(8) If a post-mortem after my death requires the consent of my next of kin, I would like them to give it / not to give it.
(9) I would / would not like my body to be brought back to my home after death / to remain at home until the funeral if I die at home / to remain in the hospital or other establishment's mortuary if possible / to go to a funeral director offering a refrigeration service.
(10) I do / do not wish for my body to be embalmed [incidentally, sea burial is not permitted for embalmed bodies].
(11) I have / do not have a pre-paid funeral plan / funeral insurance scheme [if so, please give details and make sure your next of kin are aware of the existence of this plan. Some of what follows may then not be relevant in your case].
(12) The friend(s) or relative(s) I wish to be mainly responsible for arranging my funeral is / are .................................... .
(13) I would / would not prefer for the above-named to arrange it without using a funeral director [if using a funeral director some of what follows may then not be relevant in your case].
(14) If a funeral director is used, I would like it to be .................................... / I would like someone to phone around the yellow pages for the cheapest / most suitable funeral director's quote / I would like someone to phone The Natural Death Centre (tel 0181 208 2853) to see if they have a recommendation for a helpful funeral director locally.
(15) In general terms, I would like the expenditure on my funeral to be about average [£1,000 or so in 1995] / below average / well below average / above average / well above average.
(16) I would like to be cremated / buried / deposited in a vault / catacomb / mausoleum.
(17) I would like the cheapest chipboard with veneer coffin [from about £95 in 1995 inc. delivery] / painted coffin [from about £265] / artist-designed coffin made of recycled pallets [about £500] / cardboard coffin [if allowed by the funeral establishment concerned. From about £53] / body bag on plank and covered in drape [if allowed by the establishment concerned. From about £15] / coffin, if possible made by friend or relative or local carpenter [specify any details] / my coffin is already in store waiting [location] / burial shroud / burial sheet / willow coffin [about £200, advance commission advisable] / other.
(18) I would like my body to be transported to the relevant place in our / a friend's large estate car / van [give details where relevant] / I would like a large estate car / small van to be hired for the occasion / I would like a funeral director to be asked to supply a hearse with / without following cars / I would like a horse-drawn hearse [normally from about £600] / other transport [specify].
(19) I would ideally like .................................... as the bearers of my coffin.
(20) I would / would not like flowers brought to my funeral / one flower per person / no flowers / donation instead to .................................... .
(21) I would / would not like my death and funeral announced in the following publications .................................... .
(22) I would / would not like a funeral service.
(24) After cremation, what I would ideally like done with my ashes is .................................... .
(25) [If an urn to be used] the kind of urn I would most like is .................................... home-made by .................................... / standard crematorium container / wooden / marble / china [advance commission advisable] / other.
(27) If own garden or land, although not legally obliged to, I have / have not cleared this with those who will inherit my estate, also / but not with other next of kin / neighbours etc.
(28) If green burial ground, I would / would not like those in charge of my funeral to phone an information source such as The Natural Death Centre (tel 0181 208 2853) or the AB Wildlife Trust Fund in Harrogate (tel 01423 530900) to find out the nearest or most suitable site at the time of my death [given that so many new ones are opening all the time]. I would prefer such a site to be run by a local authority / farmer / wildlife trust / doesn't matter.
(29) If allowed, I would / would not like .................................... to help dig my grave / fill my grave.
(31) The kind of numbers I would like at my funeral service are ................. . I see it as ideally a very small family affair / family and friends / all comers.
(32) I would like a funeral service to take account of the fact that my religion / spiritual belief / philosophy is ................................... .
(33) I would like the service led by .................................... [relative / friend / named or duty priest / minister / rabbi / British Humanist Association officiant / other].
(33) The form of service I would like is .................................... .
(34) The kind of music, hymns, psalms, songs etc I would like include .................................... [be as specific as you like] played by / sung by ................................... .
(35) The kind of texts / poems I would like include .................................... read by ................................... .
(36) If possible I would like a main address about my life given by ................................... or by ................................... .
(37) At this service / at some later occasion [specify] I would / would not like my friends to have a chance to speak up about me.
(38) I would / would not like an open coffin [assuming body is relatively presentable].
(39) Other rituals I would like to see at this time include ................................... [eg release of balloons / single flowers placed in coffin / grave lined with hay, flowers / football scarf or other identifying symbol placed on or in coffin].
(40) I have / have not left a last message / audiotape / video or other text for my family or friends [if yes, location], and wish for this to be played at the funeral service / some other occasion [specify].
(42) [Assuming one is wanted] in general terms, I would like as much money spent on a gathering after the funeral as on the funeral itself / less money / much less money / more money / much more money.
(43) The form I would like this gathering to take is ................................... [indoors / outdoors / location / food / drinks / etc].
(44) The rituals I would most like it to include are ................................... .
(45) The form I would like this memorial gathering to take is ................................. .
(45) The rituals I would most like it to include are ................................... .
(45) Those who may not have come to the funeral that I would like invited to the memorial service include ................................... .
(46) I would like the memorial service announced in the following media ................................... .
(47) Memorial objects or ways of commemoration I would ideally like include: entry in memorial book of funeral establishment / plaque / headstone [suggest wording of epitaph] / garden bench / window / book / entry in the Internet's online Garden of Remembrance / endowment [details].
(48) I would / would not like there if possible to be a ritual or remembrance on the anniversaries of my death. Ideally the form this could take would be ................................... .
(49) Amongst things left unsaid to particular people that I would like to say now are: ................................... .
(50) I shall find out for sure in due course, but as a matter of interest, I do / do not believe in an afterlife, which I visualise as ................................... .
Signed by:
Name
Signature
Date
Witnessed by the two undersigned who do not stand to benefit from the signatory's Will:
Name (First Witness)
Signature
First Witness's occupation and address
Name (Second Witness)
Signature
Second Witness's occupation and address
For further details on organising an inexpensive, green, family 'd-i-y' funeral, etc please see The Natural Death Handbook (£10-95 inc. p&p) and Green Burial - The d-i-y guide to law and practice (£9-85 inc. p&p). An information pack comes with these books, which is available separately for six first class stamps or £1-50 cheque. All from The Natural Death Centre, 20 Heber Road, London NW2 6AA (tel 0181 208 2853; fax 0181 452 6434; e-mail: rhino@bbcnc.org.uk). An abbreviated version of the information pack is also on Internet as World Wide Web pages at the address http://www.newciv.org/worldtrans/naturaldeath.html. Further copies of this form (plus the Centre's Death Plan and Living Will) are available for 4 first class stamps or £1 cheque per set.