a little scared...

This topic was created by rosie girl (rlacoursiere@hotmail.com)
[Wed 31 March, 19:31 Tasmanian Standard Time]

I'm 24 years old, and in less than a week, I'm travelling to
Europe, alone. I'm going for 3 months, I am packed, have my
Eurailpass, and basically everything that I need. I've been
doing reading about the places I want to go, and checking
this site frequently for travel tips. All my friends say
they're jealous of me, and they wish that they were as brave
as I am! The thing is, I really don't feel very brave! I'm
24, and I've never really done anything all by myself
before. I'm actually very scared! I'm the one out of my
friends that always ends up in wierd situations, or gets
lost, or hurts myself. I feel like I'm always fumbling
around. Maybe this is just a confidence issue, but it's
frightening for me to think that I just have myself to
depend on! Outwardly I'm all prepared, but inside I'm kind
of a wreck! This isn't really a question, I guess, but I'm
wondering if anyone else has been in this situation, and if
you have some words of wisdom to offer! I have a hard time
explaining how I feel to my friends. I think a lot of this
has to do with me not wanting to give up control, and the
fact of facing 3 months of not knowing what's in store has
me feeling nervous. Am I being ridiculous? And how do I
cope? (I feel like I'm asking "Dear Abby")

[There are 21 posts - the latest was added on Tue 13 April, 13:14]

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  1. GO! GO! GO! GO! Added by: Camilla
    [Timestamp: Wed 31 March, 20:49 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Just go for it! I am going back packing in Asia next year,
    and I keep wondering what I will do if EVERYTHING goes
    wrong. That is just the way it is. I cannot imagine that
    this is to any help at all, but.... have fun!! =)
    ARE YOUR READY TO RUMBLE????



  2. GO! Added by: tcnally (tcnally@niji.or.jp)
    [Timestamp: Wed 31 March, 22:50 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Go! It will be the best experience you've ever had. Traveling anywhere changes your whole life and traveling alone impacts you even more! I had never traveled before and after college I joined the Peace Corps and ended up in a small village in West Africa for two years, alone. It was really was wonderful and awful at the same time. And I loved every minute of it. It pushed me to all my limits and past them. I learned so much about myself, I know that sounds trite but it's true. I had so much time for self reflection and learning that I left with a clear understanding of who I was, at my core. That strength at my core has helped me so much in the years since then. I have continued to travel and live abroad, and to learn, but that first step was the hardest.
    My advice to you is to go! Live! Everything in life is a lesson, and this is a wonderful oportunity for you, one that everyone has in life but few people take. Good luck to you and many future adventures!



  3. take a deep breath Added by: The other Mary
    [Timestamp: Thu 1 April, 1:13 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Hey OK, I suggest that you make an basic plan of where you
    are going to go. Not that you have to stick to it, but in
    those fleeting moments of paranoia you will know that there
    is a basic plan. You can do it. You ARE brave and you are
    strong, why? Because you have gotten this far. Not to sound
    too silly, but you create many of the situations you end up
    in. Stop thinking that something bad is going to happen and
    focus... visualize, if you will positive results. Make
    friends and don't let the glory seekers along the way
    intimidate you. They are only seeking validation. They too
    are fumbling, or at least their fear is that they are merely
    fumbling along. Honestly, my way of dealing with those
    kinds of moments are to have a plan "I will stay here
    and visit these sites" it's a kind of definite goal...but
    rules are made to be broken! If things get out of hand go
    back and look at your plans. I also found that documenting
    all of my feelings is really therapeutic. I mean spit it
    all out and then look back weeks later and laugh that you
    were ever nervous about anything. You will find kindred
    spirits and you will have a wonderful time. Relax, let go of
    the anxiety and feel proud that you are making such a
    courageous first step.



  4. Don't Worry! Added by: jen
    [Timestamp: Thu 1 April, 5:28 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I know exactly how you feel. I'm a 19 year old girl
    about to go to Europe alone as well, and I'm experiencing
    the same things. All of my friends and family can't believe
    how brave I am and it's hard when there's so much insecurity
    and worries inside of me. But the most important thing that
    I have to remember is that this my dream trip. Do I want to
    give up and not go? Of course not, I wouldn't think of it!
    So what's my other option? GO! Go and have a wonderful
    time! I think we need to let go of that control thing (I do
    it too) and realize that whatever happens is meant to happen
    and worrying about the "ifs" will just destroy the moment
    we're in right now. Enjoy the anticipation and excitement
    that you're feeling RIGHT NOW. When you get over there,
    there are going to be moments of fear, joy, lonliness,
    amazement... all of which you will take as they come. All
    of which will add up to create the most amazing and
    challenging thing you will probably have ever done. And
    when you're actually doing it you will realize that your
    friends and family were right- you ARE brave! We can do
    this!!!



  5. It's Worth It Added by: Shelley
    [Timestamp: Thu 1 April, 8:10 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I know how you feel. 4 years ago when I was 21 I went to
    America for 2 months by myself. Before I went I was
    terrified. Everyone kept telling me how brave I was too, but
    I felt anything but. The night before I went I was so
    nervous I went to the pub with some friends and got totally
    drunk which I definately would not recommend! Travelling
    with the worst hangover of your life is not fun!!! As it
    turned out all my fears were unfounded, I had a fantastic
    time. I'm the most unorganised person in the world and yet I
    found I could rely on myself, even when things didn't go
    quite according to plan. Travelling by yourself means you
    make the effort to talk to people and I made loads of
    friends while I was away, several came to visit me in
    England at later dates. It also means you can do what you
    like, when you like and don't have to worry about anybody
    else. It was the best thing I ever did. Nothing anyone can
    say can stop you from feeling nervous now, but trust me once
    you're away you'll be having such a good time and meet so
    many other people travelling alone you'll wonder what all
    the fuss was about!!!
    I hope you have a great trip!!!



  6. Take a deep breath... Added by: Lori
    [Timestamp: Thu 1 April, 8:28 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I agree that an itinerary is a good way to feel more confident and 'in control', even if you ditch the plan later in your trip! Also, I suggest (if you haven't already) book the accomodation for at least your first night or two before you leave home - knowing where you're going to sleep when you get off that plane is a big confidence booster!
    And don't worry, you won't be all alone for three months - you'll meet loads of people in the hostels, and I agree with the poster above that it's a lot easier to meet people when you're on your own.
    Have a wonderful trip!



  7. Try being 31 and doing it! Added by: Jennifer
    [Timestamp: Thu 1 April, 8:53 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I'm about to head out on my first European trip and have the same bouts of nervousness, but at least you have a common age with most of the hostellers! Everyone assures me that there's a mix of ages, and I'm open to meeting people of all ages, so thanks to all the posters above for their reassurances and good luck!



  8. fear can stop you Added by: idahoslim
    [Timestamp: Thu 1 April, 12:11 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    A well lived life is about having as many rich experiences
    as you can. Imagine yourself doing everything on your own
    schedule. You don't have to compromise with your parents or
    a friend. If you feel like you want to stay a few extra
    days in a village where for some mysterious reason you feel
    comfortable, you can just do it. I second the
    recommendation for you to keep a journal. You will be
    amazed when you read it five years from now. Let it be your
    best friend and tell it everything. I hope you enjoy
    yourself.



  9. what i learned. Added by: sprite
    [Timestamp: Thu 1 April, 19:39 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    travelling in a foreign country is not so different from vacationing at home except that
    a) you may not speak the language.-- a taxi driver asked me a question today, and i'm not sure if he was
    asking if i lived in the apartments we were driving too, or if i was sleeping with someone.
    b) they may not speak your language.--so learn the important things--how much, too expensive, i'm
    hungry, where? when? 1-10, help! or at least get them written down some where you can point at them.
    c) you will not run into people you know. only in the movies does this happen. so you can look your
    worst, safe in the knowledge that most of these people will never see you again, and will likely forget you
    in 1 hour.
    i'm also 24, and heading to europe for the first time, after spending a year in korea. you are much better
    prepared than me--but because you are prepared, you'll enjoy yourself a lot more. you have goals, and
    on the way to your goal, you'll likely find lots of other great stuff.
    and if something terrible happens, so what? there are very few truly bad things that can happen to us,
    and they could just as well happen in your own home. if it ever gets to be too much, you can always go
    home.
    ps. i'm also nervous. i don't know any turkish, and i can't find a phrase book here, or any turkish
    people!!
    good luck!



  10. tip! Added by: annebelle
    [Timestamp: Thu 1 April, 19:52 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    just a safety tip:
    try to rent or buy a mobile phone wich works all over
    europe(it's not really expensive)(you can buy them i'm
    sure)it can make you feel safer sometomes, you know..just a
    phonecalol away......anyway, it worked for me!!!
    good luck and a nice trip



  11. Don't worry, be happy! Added by: jules
    [Timestamp: Thu 1 April, 21:47 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I was 19 when I set off on my first backpacking trip and
    have never looked back. It is terrifying to start with, but
    now you've got this far you won't back out. I found I
    became braver and braver by the day, basically I had a very
    sheltered upbringing and that trip really brought me out of
    myself. Don't worry about not having anywhere to sleep,
    with a rail pass you can alway get an overnight train
    somewhere and sleep on the train if you get desperate -
    loads of people do this anyway to sve accommodation costs.
    Just remember to keep your valuables close to your body and
    have enough insurance to cover you if your pack goes
    misssing.



  12. It Gets Easier Added by: HH
    [Timestamp: Thu 1 April, 23:53 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I was 32 when I traveled alone for the first time (6 months
    in Australia, NZ and SEA). When I left, I was absolutely
    terrified, but I did have a bit of an itinerary and that
    helped. I found that every time I went to a new country, I
    would get scared all over again, even if they spoke English
    there and it was a similar culture to my own. One thing
    that I found that really helped is making arrangements for
    your first night night in a new country. This was
    especially good if they sent someone to meet you at the
    station. You will also be surprised at how capable you are.
    The one time that I had problems (got lost in Bankok) I
    found that I instinctively kept a very level head and got
    out of the crisis before I panicked. Once I got into a safe
    place, I was able to sit down and shake for a while. But in
    retrospect, I was amazed at how cool I stayed until I got to
    safety. As someone else mentioned, you are brave to even
    get this far, and you'll find all kinds of new strengths
    within yourself once you're on the road. You'll have a
    blast and create many wonderful memories.



  13. Thank you! Added by: rosie girl
    [Timestamp: Fri 2 April, 4:39 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Thanks to all of you who took the time to write words of
    encouragement! It's all very appreciated! It's nice to know
    that I'm not all alone, and hey, I will have a wonderful
    time!



  14. feel the fear...but do it anyways Added by: JANET (janetmutton@hotmail.com)
    [Timestamp: Fri 2 April, 10:06 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Hey..Like others, I know how you feel. You will be fine
    though. I've travelled with others before, and this time
    I'm going it alone. I'm nervous, but very excited! Being
    on your own forces you to meet people..it will open you up
    a lot more than if you were travelling with someone. The
    world of backpacking is something you could never undertand
    unless you have done it yourself. You'll know what I mean.
    I don't know if you are going to Switzerland or not, but if
    you do, try and go to a place called Interlaken. There is
    a place there called Balmers Herbage..it's loads of fun.
    Also, when in Rome...don't waist your time looking for the
    Hard Rock Cafe..there isn't one there..Trust me, we looked!
    Best of luck!



  15. happy landing ! Added by: mic (mwolff@metronet.de)
    [Timestamp: Sat 3 April, 4:34 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    eurailing alone means to be more connected to the folks
    around, and a problem may be to leave the trains &
    trainstations & eurailing szene & see what's around ...



  16. Plastic Added by: Intrepid
    [Timestamp: Sat 3 April, 5:38 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Mobile phones weren't available in abundance when I did my
    first big global jaunt, but credit cards were. Try to take
    an emergency credit card belonging to relatives with a big
    limit with the understanding you won't use it unless you
    feel in danger. I never used mine, but it was good knowing
    it was available. Go for it.



  17. have fun!!! Added by: beep
    [Timestamp: Sat 3 April, 8:49 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I am 19 and last year I spent 11 months abroad. I traveled
    alone for my whole trip and I have no regrets. I traveled
    centeral and eastern Europe and spent 3 months in turkey. It
    was incredable traveling by myself because I had no one to
    count on except my self. Sure is was a bit nurve racking at
    first, but you meet sooooo many people along the way it
    doesn't feel like you are alone. One piece of advice, get a
    local calling card through your phone company and find the
    codes of the countries your staying in. It makes life very
    easy and you don't have to worry about phone bills in
    foreign currency. HAVE FUN!!!



  18. Normal feelings Added by: Susanne
    [Timestamp: Sun 4 April, 1:50 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I think your feelings are quite normal. I'm always very
    nervous when I go travelling all by myself. My mind's
    usually full of thoughts like "why am I doing this?","I must
    be completely crazy", "how am I going to survive?" etc.
    Nervousness usually vanishes as soon as I realize that
    people in another country got two arms and two legs,too. As
    soon as I step out of the airport I'm usually fine and start
    to enjoy my trip.



  19. go girl!! Added by: handle
    [Timestamp: Sun 4 April, 18:53 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I opted for travelling solo when things fell through with a
    travel partner in Central America, and had the time of my
    life! It's easy to meet people, you never really have to be
    alone if you don't want to. I had a long conversation with
    a loony in a restaurant in Guatemala who told me many odd
    things but one that I couldn't have said better "the best
    things happen to you when you're on your own, yet so do the
    worst". Safe travels!



  20. Relax! Added by: summer
    [Timestamp: Wed 7 April, 7:49 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I left a year ago for three months in Europe--ended up
    staying for five! It is so much easier on the inside than
    it appears on the outside. People travelling are generally
    much more pleasant than those not travelling. This is an
    opportunity to learn about other cultures and share the
    intoxicating experience of travel with others like yourself.
    You will learn about yourself, and you will see exactly what
    your best and worst qualities are. People will be
    making quick decisions about you and responding to your good
    and bad; aspire to be your best self and you can't go wrong.
    You can't lean on anyone like you probably can at home with
    friends and family. You'll make wonderful friends but
    don't forget each person you meet is having their own travel
    experience. Don't make your decisions just to please a new
    friend. Go where you want to go, not just where a new crowd
    of friends is headed (unless you really want to stick with
    them.) Remember that you must always be able to get
    yourself back to the hostel at night. Trust people, but
    realize that ultimately you are on your own and responsible
    for yourself.



  21. crawling, walking,running Added by: fra (lewesroad@yahoo.com)
    [Timestamp: Tue 13 April, 13:14 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I'm quite a bit older and have been traveling alone to
    strange places for a long time. My best advice is to accept
    you feel scared, and learn to live with it by taking
    everything very slowly, not walking before you've learned
    to crawl etc. In other words -- be ultra-cautious as you
    start out and let yourself grow into the trip. If you feel
    a fool tucking yourself up in bed soon after the sun goes
    down in the first few days, never mind, at least you're
    safe. Then as time goes by you'll feel more adventurous.
    Another piece of advice, don't allow your feelings of
    lonliness to get you into difficult or dangerous
    situations. Just because you don't fancy eating alone
    doesn't mean you need to fall into a stranger's arms, as
    the trip goes on you'll start to recognise who it might be
    fun to link up with and who to avoid. Don't confide in
    people who seem a little suspect that you are alone, invent
    a partner, or group of friends who are "waiting just down
    the road" and stride off confidently to find them. Sounds
    rather paranoic but if you feel lost or frightened, seek
    out women with children or couples with children to ask
    directions or advice. Since it's a first trip, take along a
    well-used guide book such as a Lonely Planet and stick more
    or less, at least at the beginning, to their sort of
    places, which will generally be brimming with like-minded
    people. Heed such a guide's warnings on safety, for example
    on walking in places after dark or late at night. And bring
    along material to deal with solitude, just in case you
    don't find fun people to chat with every minute of the
    day. My best bets have always been a mass of books (but
    heavy to carry), a fat notebook for writing a journal and a
    lot of postcards to busy myself writing or reading with. A
    small portable radio is also very good for keeping a happy
    noise going in the background (with earphones) when you
    feel gloomy. And a phone call from time to time home is a
    very good thing -- people will boost your morrale by
    telling you waht an adventure you are having.




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