I totally agree with other postings >I've read on this site
about women being nervous about the courage of
women who travel to the Middle East alone. You have my
greatest respect and admiration! I'm 32 years old, have
travelled extensively throughout Europe, especially Eastern
Europe, often on my own, and generally like to think of
myself as someone who knows how to look after herself
reasonably well.
BUT I'm terrified to make that trip to Israel and Egypt
(places where I'd really love to go) because I've heard a
few too many horror stories about being mauled, followed,
spied upon and generally harrassed. I can take a lot of
things in life but for whatever reason, the threat of
sexual harrasment in a foreign land is something which just
makes me want to run home and cover my head! I've very
rarely had this provlem in the countries I've visited, and
when I hav, it's intimidated me more than anything else.
Please tell me, am I being paranoid and worrying unduly? Is
ther anything I can do - as well as the usual advice to
dress and behave modestly - to minimise the threat?
Thank You!
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I've travelled in the middle east twice, once with a female
friend and once solo, and was "mauled, followed, spied upon
and generally harassed" to a certain degree both times, but
it was worth the hassle! The best thing to do is ignore it
and get on with your business. Dressing modestly is a must,
behaving modestly is trickier. Anything remotely sexual on
your part in word or deed is a big come-on, what's difficult
is that this includes direct eye-contact! You get used to
not looking anyone male in the eye. On the other hand a lot
of the people are wonderful, the sights are stellar, its
cheap, the food is good, the weather is great, bargaining is
fun. Oh just go, grab a friend if you need to or take some
kind of enlightented tour (is there such a thing?) and go.
The best thing about so much adversity is that you DO deal
with it, in the process becoming a stronger, more confident,
more whole person. And that's what I think travel is all
about.
In Egypt you get some hassles - but it really didn't bother
me - Israel same. Israel is much more relaxed vis a vis
dress code - in muslim areas and countries, try and dress
like local women - this does not mean donning a chador-
local women usually wear full length skirts and long
sleeved tunics which don't really look so bad - some are
quite attractive - basically, stick to long sleeves -
loose, not tight blouses and long skirts. Israel esp tel
aviv is modern - you can probably get away with wearing
anything there.
I can't speak for Israel, but have travelled to Turkey and
Egypt and there is hassle....They (muslim men) just seem to
think that western woman and free and easy -- it's actually
quite annoying at times but in general the men working in
the hotels, shops, etc. are friendly and polite. I had a
few "incidences" but nothing too serious. Just learn to
master the "stare straight ahead look" and ignore them.
Dark sunglasses and modest clothing are a help too. In
Turkey there were many "western" woman (I won't name from
where) that actually offended me!
The majority of Israeli girl's wear whatever they like (nude
is not an option though). Shorts, sleeveless shirts, etc.
are very popular in summer time (mini skirts - all year
long). In most places, until you start speaking, nobody will
really know wether you're a tourist (some rude people may
try making a move though, on the sea shore, but ignoring is
usually enough).
There are some touristic areas where modesty is required,
you can ask before you go there at your hotel/hostel -
arabic and jewish orthodox areas and religious places.
Be careful like in any other country - common sense is
always required for a woman on her own.
I travelled in Egypt in Jordan last year on my own, and I
didn't find it too difficult. Alot has to do with your
attitude - you can't let all the hassles bother you. It
helps alot if you can meet up with other travellers, even
if only for an afternoon or evening, and laugh about the
craziness. I found myself being overly suspicious when I
first arrived - who to trust? - but gradually I relaxed and
had some amazing experiences. I got followed around alot in
Cairo by very persistent men ("I just want to practice my
English"), but I was polite, and just as persistent in
telling them to go away. Getting angry or upset doesn't
help. In Jordan men seemed to 'accidentally' brush up
against me often, but I would just shout 'Hey!' and they
would scurry off into the crowd. Be careful and use your
head and you'll be fine. There are many genuinely kind and
helpful people in the middle east - I had a wonderful time
and would love to go back again. Good luck!
I am leaving March 19 for Isreal, Egypt, Turkey and Greece.
Possibly more nervous after reading the above posts! I have
three main questions --- How safe is it that I am landing
in Tel Aviv at 130 in the morning and was planning to head
to East Jerusalem immediately after, staying in the New
Metropole Hotel??? Second--- If you have very long light
blonde hair and are as white as it gets, should I dye my
hair dark before leaving or is a big hat enough??? Third
--- if anyone is going to be here around this time, e-mail
me !
Thanks
Candice
1.There are shuttle taxies going from the airport to
whatever location in western and large parts of eastern
Jerusalem 24 hours a day for a fixed price (it used to be
less than 10$).
2. Many Israeli girls have blonde hair. In other countries -
no need to dye your hair, and use the hat for sun
protection.
A word of advice: if you ever get touched up in public,
don't be afraid to make a scene--scream at him, hit him with
your shoe, tell other people. When I was in India I had a
man violently grab my breast in the street (while walking
behind my boyfriend, which goes to show that it often
doesn't matter whether you travel alone or with a man) and I
ran after him, grabbed him and started to shout at him.
Immediately a sympathetic crowd gathered round us, the women
comforting me and several men threatened the jerk, one of
whom even hit him for me!
its funny when I tell my friends I'm off to the middle east
again...because of all the media hype they think that we
will be killed and that all the people there are terrorists
or extremists..how wrong they are....in the same vein, they
all think that north american and european women are all
easy and willing to jump into bed with them...we have to
remember that we have the privilege of visiting their
country and we are at the same time representatives of
ours...having said that, if you go you will have a
wonderful time if you dress conservatively, loose,
unrevealing clothing....when in rome,,,,happy trails.......
I went to Egypt and met a woman travelling alone. I stayed
as far away from her as possible as soon as it became clear
that this woman was sleeping her way through the middle
east! She was lonely, middle aged at home, but in Egypt
she came onto men, and felt special. She was on the same
boat I was on for a while, I was ashamed of her because we
were both Canadian, and though I was much younger than her,
I was afraid all the men on that boat would paint me with
the same brush. Later I met up with her again in Hurghada,
we were in the same hotel in fact. I witnessed her sitting
on the bar one night, skirt hiked up to God knows where,
telling a group of Egyption men that her ex-husband at home
beat her. (She was never married.)
I felt angry at her. She was doing women travellers a
great disservice. I couldn't take it anymore, we had a
huge argument, she left the next day and I didn't see her
again.
Has anyone else met women like this while travelling?
The Middle East has a lot of hassles, but don't worry.
I first went to Egypt alone when I was 19 and spent nine
months as a study abroad student. Now I am 23 and I've been
living in Egypt for 10 months.
The first time I was in Egypt I got lots of harassment from
men, grabbing me, saying things to me in arabic and english,
and generally coming on to me and annoying me. I tried very
hard to respect the local customs - I wore long skirts and
long-sleeved shirts, etc.
This time I am not harassed at all, and I wear jeans and
loose shirts.
The difference has nothing to do with how conservatively you
dress (Though I would never wear shorts or tank tops). The
difference is how confident you appear. I walk with my back
straight and my head up. I do not avert my eyes. I do not
wear sunglasses. I just make a point of looking like I know
what I am doing, rather than like a meek little girl. It
works.
I am not one who generally like to confront harassers, but I
will if they go too far. One time, though, I was on the
bus, and a guy kept leaning over me and brushing against me.
I just turned around and stared at him and he practically
ran off that bus.
The point is, respect of the local culture does not prevent
harassment. Sure, I do respect the culture, and I don't
wear inappropriate clothes. Just be yourself, and be
confident in yourself. If someone bothers you, tell him to
leave. It is difficult in western culture to tell someone
to leave you alone. We prefer to try to send people subtle
messages instead. But these do not often work. When men
approach me on the street, I simply tell them I am not
interested in having a conversation with every man who sees
me walking down the street, no offense to them personally,
of course. It works.
The hassle gets less the longer you're there. Probably part
due to the fact you don't notice it anymore, but also
because you get a different attitude. I can't really
explain it, it is as if men notice you've around longer in
those countries and they don't bother you that much.
-
I almost always wore sunglasses, as they minimalise the
possibility you make accidental eye contact, which some men
find provocative. But it's not that bad, actually I've come
to love the Middle East more than anything.
Rene, I found your posting really interesting, because to me
it opens up at least one interesting question. I can see
perfectly well what you mean by women like the one you
mentioned creating a bad precedent for other women
travelling in the area, because, God knows, they seem to
have a hard enough time anyway. However, on the other hand:
if she want to have a good time in Egypt, well, why not? As
we know "older women" don't always have the easiest time
having casual relationships with younger men at home, so
maybe she saw Egypt as an opportunity to do something she
wouldn't be able to do at home. I'm not neccessarily saying
I agree with what she did, but plenty of men her age go
round the world (parts of Eastern Europe being an example)
shagging lots of younger women and, while their behaviour
does get criticised, noone says they're making life
difficult for men going to the same places, even though they
might be, since they give the impression that all foreign
men want to do is shag 17 year old Russians (and before
anyone starts up a male-bashing session, I know this is not
the case!).
So, what I'm saying is that I do see your point, and like
you, I'd probably avoid her like the plague if I met her,
but in a sense I even admire her: there's this idea that any
older woman who goes after young men has to be"sad" or
"desperate" but I don't believe this is true. Looked at
from another point of view: OK she was reinforcing already
prevalent Middle Eastern stereotypes about Western women,
but at least she was having fun!