Which way is UP?!?

This topic was created by Stuck
[Thu 11 Feb, 5:20 Tasmanian Standard Time]

Remember thinking that if you took a solo journey to
someplace new that your life would somehow come together;
that when you returned home you would have a clearer picture
of who you were and life decisions would seem easier? But
more often than not (and I'm really no different from the
majority) when you get back home, life just sort of ...
carries on as before. I wish my life was more structured at
times; that I had a great job and some direction. However,
travelling and exposing myself to new ideas and new ways of
thinking about EVERYTHING has made deciding what to do with
my life all the more difficult. Of course, I am so thankful
that I've had these opportunities; one of the best
'souvenirs' of my trip was my increased self-awareness. I
just wish that I could apply this to something concrete, and
soon. I've been home a month already, and still have
nothing to tell people when they ask "so, what do you do??"
I guess it's one of those I'm 25, single and unemployed; and
confused about my future. I wish that I had more stability
in my life but also understand that it's the price I pay for
doing less conventional things after I graduated from
university. I find myself to be remarkably sensitive about
this topic, especially around people who I care about and
who I know are genuinely worried about me, like my parents
and roomates. I'm sitting on the fence and am too chicken
to take the leap. At night I lie awake and struggle to
remember that all will work out; that I'm an intelligent and
sincere, fun person that will someday, somehow, make
something of myself. But more often than not, I'm anxious
about money, about which desk to send my resume to, about
how others are carrying on and I'm being left behind, trying
desperately to hold on to my self-confidence in the wake of
unemployment and a waning desire to get out of bed. If
anyone has some advice it would mean so much to me. Maybe
others could use it as well, as I'm sure I'm not the only
one with post-travelling-depression out there. And in
advance I apologize if this topic seems at all
inappropriate; but I find that one of the most moving things
about this site in particular is the unassuming and positive
flow of encouragement that comes from strangers. It's such
a testament to the human spirit (at the risk of sounding
like I watch too much Oprah, though admittedly I am very
aware that she's on a 'remembering your spirit' kick lately
.. :) Thanks, A.

[There are 32 posts - the latest was added on Sun 9 May, 8:43]

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  1. Give yourself time Added by: Miss Positive!
    [Timestamp: Thu 11 Feb, 6:23 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    The hardest thing in life is deciding what you want - when
    you've made that decision getting it is the easy bit! Try
    writing a list of your options and your feelings about them
    and focus down on what you really want. The only reason to
    take a job that you really don't want is to get the money to
    do something you do want to do.
    Give yourself some time - if you need to make space for this
    then take a job in a supermarket to pay the bills - but give
    yourself time to make the right decision about your future.
    Don't worry you're not alone - everyone has to make this
    decision. Some people don't ever get around to it ;-)
    It's a positive thing that you are procrastinating - major
    life decisions don't happen in a hurry and if you explore
    lots of ideas when the rigth one comes along you'll know.
    Good luck and happy staying put.



  2. Overseas Added by: Sue
    [Timestamp: Thu 11 Feb, 6:56 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Have you ever thought about working abroad? I was in a
    similar situation at 23, joined an agency that found me
    work in the Middle East, and five years later, (three
    countries later!) I'm still overseas, and wondering if I'll
    ever go back to the real world and my parents' dream of a 3
    bedroomed house, 2 kids, dog, etc... Working overseas is a
    completely different experience to travelling, and the tax
    free benefits are obvious.



  3. try Added by: liz
    [Timestamp: Thu 11 Feb, 8:08 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    perhaps taking a course; I've always found that I feel down
    when I don't feel like I'm moving ahead and learning things.
    Or, you could exchange English languages with someone from a
    country whose language you'd like to learn. Read books,
    travel books, anthropology, history, architecture of places
    you're interested in...
    Organize a Sunday-morning brunch for you and your friends to
    chat and bitch about life...
    And travel/ work abroad ASAP if it's what makes you happy.
    I intended the above suggestions to tide you over till you
    leave.



  4. know what you mean ... Added by: peter
    [Timestamp: Thu 11 Feb, 9:12 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I've felt the same, almost exactly.
    I didn't know what I wanted jobwise and lifewise after
    returning from travelling, and it got me REALLY down, and I
    didn't do anything about it for a year.
    Then a friend shook me around a bit and I realized I had to
    do something, so I made my Plan.
    First I figured out what would be a fun job. I thought a lot
    what I liked to do when I was a kid(eg computers and drawing
    and making things), and it added up to computer graphics.
    Because when you grow up you loose track of what you really
    like and start doing things for the wrong reasons(its cool,
    its what you're supposed to like, ...)
    Then I thought: I'm gonna need about 2 years to learn the
    programs and stuff, so what will I do in the meantime.
    So I went to Colombia with my last money and now I'm working
    here (teaching) and learning the computer stuff, and it
    feels like a hell of a lot better a decision than continuing
    my crappy job and learning. That would've got me really
    down.
    I'm not sure if the computergraphics will be the job of my
    life, but it may.
    So I'm happy here now, but I have to say, sometimes like
    today I still have the same because now I just came back
    from a little trip and I have to get organized! Get
    students! Make some money! And I've been getting up at 11
    the last few days and doing nothing and feeling bad.
    and also: you cant plan everything. if you do something you
    actually enjoy (teaching kids, whatever), you'll enjoy
    it(I'm trying to say something here but its maybe not very
    clear)-
    (and do some sports)
    I hope this was not too confused
    a



  5. Make a move Added by: kat
    [Timestamp: Thu 11 Feb, 10:29 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I have not yet traveled - but am planning to do so in
    October, and I hope to come away with some self awareness...
    What do you like to do? You are still young, but time goes
    so fast so dont spin your wheels for too long trying to find
    out what it is you want. I figure as long as continue to
    stimulate yourself you will come to some conclusions.....



  6. Who Knows Added by: Don't Panic
    [Timestamp: Thu 11 Feb, 12:18 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I thought I would add to this little chat because I share
    what all of you are feeling right now. I think that this is
    something that a lot of us have to go through. At this
    moment I am in Sydney working, I've been travelling now for
    the last year and a half, and the next year and a half is
    filled with travel across Asia. Yes I am having the time of
    my life but I'm also confused, everyone at home is on that
    carrer ladder and I've done nothing with my psychology
    degree..what will happen when I get home? am I destined to
    be a traveler with no particular direction?. All I can say
    is stop worrying for now, have fun make the most, I agree do
    a course that your interested in or apply for work abroad or
    voluntary work. When I stand back and take a look at people
    at home yes they may be making their way carrer wise but
    what have they seen ? nought. At the end of the day all that
    we are doing is passing time it's your choice if you do that
    by travelling the world or paying off the mortgage..and I'll
    take the first any day. The future will some how take care
    of itself so don't waste time by worrying about it. So what
    if society says you should have stability, a partner, a cat
    and a potted plant by the time your 25...if that's what you
    want then fine if not ignore the pressure go your own
    way..25 isn't that old my greatest fear is to reach middle
    30's and say to my self so what have you done? what have you
    seen?...don't panic about everyybody else, you have one go
    at all of this so take it easy and do what you need to do
    not what everyone else thinks you should be doing...Take
    care.



  7. confidence Added by: happyelf
    [Timestamp: Thu 11 Feb, 16:24 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Reading, reading, reading, and reading will really help you.
    When you read its like you are travelling and seeing what
    others have done, seen, and felt will bring more
    understanding of the world and yourself to you. Not having
    an aim, not having a goal, not knowing what your career will
    be is actually very very exciting. Its like planning a trip
    except it takes much longer, its your life that you're
    planning. Its like you got this whole world ahead of you, a
    whole ocean to navigate, freedom. Go for it, take your
    time, you don't have to rush but keep in mind that you don't
    HAVE to know what you are exactly; BUT and I mean BUT (and
    this is very important:) just have fun while you find out.



  8. I hear the rains down in afrika... Added by: LL
    [Timestamp: Thu 11 Feb, 16:32 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I just got back from a year and a half away and the only
    reason I did "come back" was because I got into a decent law
    school and couldn't defer my admissions to the next year
    (which I would have spent travelling). School isn't always a
    party, but I am gaining the tools I need in order to be able
    to return whence I came....
    .
    If you don't mind my babbling for a bit I didn't come to
    this decision easily; it took a solo 12 hour driving night
    and day from Fish River through to Kimberly to help me make
    this decision, and trust me, I cried all way. But I KNOW I
    want to go back for a long time, life even, with
    qualifications to stay and really make a difference. And the
    only way you can ever go back is to leave in the first
    place.
    .
    I'm not so naive to believe it'll be the same when I go
    back. But that's exactly what I WOULDN'T want, you know.
    That's why we like to travel, anyway, because of the changes
    the differences and the stimulation to all of our senses.
    But Afrika has been there since time began and she'll wait
    three years for me to get back home!
    .
    The other bonus about law school and grad school in general
    is you get vacation! I'm going to el salvador for 10 days
    -skipping a couple classes, I admit- just after the
    elections (on a great student rate ticket). This summer I'll
    be doing research abroad, and since I'll be doing voluntary
    work my school will help fund it, so I'll get some travel
    time in then too! THREE MONTHS! Beats the heck outta two
    weeks!
    .
    I could never have returned to the states without something
    new different and exciting (in its own way) to begin. I'm
    bored to bits as it is, anyway, just with the dreariness of
    the endless coursework and the pomposity of most of my
    classmates. but I'm keeping up my contacts with my friends
    overseas and I'm taking classes that relate to what I care
    about. And I have unlimited access to the internet, so here
    I am on TT!
    .
    Anyhow, I hope you draw some strength from knowing you're
    not alone. Try to get involved with an international
    community someway, too. Here, teaching english as a second
    language is a great option, as is voluntary work with
    refugees or students from abroad...there's tons of ways you
    can make the domestic seem a little more interesting! Also,
    eat out at international restaurants frequently, and find
    friends who have travel experiences of their own to share
    who will listen to yours. Institute ways of remembering the
    greatest of the good stuff: I have a friend I take tea with
    once a week or so (so un-American).
    .
    Look forward to hearing how you've decided to resolve your
    return!
    .
    LL



  9. wow Added by: t (tayed@alcor.concordia.ca)
    [Timestamp: Thu 11 Feb, 20:56 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I feel that this might be long, but here I go.
    First I wish to say that it really is amazing to be part of this site. I really feel like I am not alone. After I discovered TT's women travellers, I understood what so many described as a space of our own. It made so little sense to me before. I am amazed that so many or so helpful and just very welcoming and open.
    Now that is off my chest, maybe I should look into answering this question.
    Well, that question is one that most definetely bugs me "so, what do you do?" But I have learned that what I don't do makes me who I am. I am always doing so many things that now I simply answer "many things." Among other things, I am always preparing my next trip, 3 weeks from now or 2 years from now. That always gets me going and that is why I know I will always do things that will require me to travel. I just spent 6 months here at home (Montreal) after a summer in the Horn of Africa and one year in Germany. Now I am planning my 6 months trip to Japan and my 1 year in the UK. It won't be all game and fun. I am almost dead from the preparations. Among other things I had to apply to millions of scholarships so that my year in UK can really happen.
    So, why don't you try that maybe. Plan your next trip, however long it might be from now. Or as many have suggested, try working abroad. There are so many opportunities out there! Maybe you could study further to work abroad. Maybe you could even study abroad to be able work abroad. You don't have to have travelling just as a means of leaving for a while. You could make your life out of it. Learn another language and join the foreign affairs. Why not?
    And if studying is really not your thing and just want to travel for the fun of it, well, maybe you should do that now and take advantage of all the things you won't be able to get in a few years. I am going to Japan now, among other things, because in three years I won't be able to have access to the Working Holiday Visa. And I travelled as much as possible in Europe before I hit 26 last year so that I could get those discounts.
    In any case though, putting too much pressure on yourself is not going to work. If you are procrastinating, try taking a little bite into your dish. L'appetit vient en mangeant, you will be tempted to look at things (career etc) that interest you. Maybe you could go to your university's career and development centre and look at the different books they have. My university has such a wealth of those. Careers that fit your personality, your education level, your major, your interests, etc.
    Or better, take a course, like someone else suggested above. Those are always fun and you really do feel like you are advancing.
    I probably said enough to make everyone yawn here. But it might help.
    Do write if you want more suggestions! Good luck!



  10. help Added by: Juliana
    [Timestamp: Fri 12 Feb, 3:26 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Hey, I know how you are feeling at this moment. Since I am
    going through it as well. However I have realized that what
    I need is to explore this world more before I decide to get
    more archeaology quailfications done. My dream is to do
    forensic anthropology.
    I have spent time traveling and wroking abroad adn it has
    been great. I realised that living in Canada is not for me
    even though I grew up there. It's good to admit that your
    scared of taking a leap in to life It is a hassle knowing
    what some people expect you to have for a life may not be
    you. HAve you thought that living your life in another
    country be what you need? Just some thoughts for you think
    on. Take care



  11. Speechless Added by: Stuck
    [Timestamp: Fri 12 Feb, 3:44 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Really, I am. It's been less than 24 hours and I now have a
    wealth of opinions and advice from happy strangers who
    are comfortable sharing personal moments with me and
    everyone. In many ways it would be terrific to keep up the
    correspondence.
    Very few of my close friends can relate to my situation. In
    fact .. none. So it's hard to bounce my feelings off
    anyone; they're busy going to work and talking marriage.
    It's lonely, and yet I'm not jealous. I watch people around
    me with detachment, crawling in rush-hour traffic, dropping
    major dollars for a Starbuck's coffee, buying fashionable
    clothing -> alas, another price I've paid; my clothes are
    from waaaayy back and my hair has been most recently cut
    with kitchen scissors at a hostel.
    I don't like to imply that one path is better than another,
    simply different from. Maybe if a different path had been
    chosen I'd be sitting in that same string of cars, sipping a
    mocha and wearing a powder blue suit with a little scarf and
    some trendy shoes or something. (And the scarf thing is
    probably outdated, too.) Actually, that wouldn't be so bad
    as right now I'm drinking coffee in a bathrobe with unkempt
    hair and some leftover dessert poised on a fork in front of
    my face ... hmmm. Ok now I'm babbling. My point is ...
    thank you. I hope this doesn't put a stop to the string but
    I appreciate the advice and will use it gratefully.
    Starting now. No wait .. maybe after lunch. No wait ..
    tomorrow. Definately tomorrow. ;)



  12. encouragement Added by: sweet jane
    [Timestamp: Fri 12 Feb, 4:49 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    hey, chick! change out of that bathrobe & brush your hair!
    drink another cup of coffee! my two cents to add is, even
    though others may look like they have it all together and
    everything is going smoothly, our opinion is based only on
    appearances. the gal in the powder blue suit has her own
    secret hell going on somewhere inside... she might think YOU
    have it all together because you do what you really want and
    haven't sold out. everything is always in a state of flux,
    and there are times when everything seems right and other
    times when we have a hard time figuring out what to do.
    that's just a fact of life. i agree with the others who
    suggested that you come up with some kind of goal to work
    toward--it'll give you a sense of purpose, & a reason to get
    up & out every day. just make sure you pick something YOU
    really want, and understand WHY you want it. be sure of
    that, & no one else can argue with you about what you are
    doing with your life.



  13. Hey there again Added by: LL
    [Timestamp: Fri 12 Feb, 14:24 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I didn't realize you were going through that horrid "how can
    all these selfish bastards shell out $4.75 US for a cup of
    coffee at Starbuck's?!!" and "gads that fashion thing
    is so wasteful/annoying/fill in the blank and how can
    they spend so much time and money worrying about
    their hair for crying out loud??!" phase. THAT SUCKS! My
    sympathies.
    .
    It passes, somewhat, in that you adjust to the higher prices
    of living back in the west/north. And someday you'll find
    yourself enjoying a mocha with a friend. But I doubt you'll
    ever be re-acclimatized to western/moneyed values to the
    extent you once were. I doubt I'll ever feel comfortable
    with them again!! (And I hope I never do!)
    .
    Having no one to complain about that sucks. Try going into a
    bar with 100 of your (icky poo) law school classmates and
    practically passing out when you realize they're all
    drinking $7 beers and the last one you bought was 2 for 70
    CENTS! It's sick and funny and depressing and amusing all at
    once.
    .
    Just hang in there - get through being 25 (maybe we will,
    somehow) and think about what wonderful advantage you can
    take of the money-grubbing opportunities over here that you
    can then take back over there and really enjoy for a long,
    long time.
    .
    Just a couple of thoughts, take care!
    .
    LL



  14. me too. Added by: sophie
    [Timestamp: Fri 12 Feb, 21:39 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I really relate. I just got back from a month travelling
    alone (because that's all I could get off work) and it's
    made me feel worse than ever. I had myself convinced that a
    short trip would get it out of my system for a while, but
    now I'm more desperate to get away from here than ever. I
    think I'm ready to peel out, quit my job and take off for a
    year or two. Only problem is I don't have any money. Does
    anyone have any suggestions on getting work overseas (I'm in
    Australia), or on how much money you really need to survive
    in Africa (or anywhere really) once you've paid for the
    plane ticket? Stuck, the only difference between you and me
    is that I've been doing the career thing since I finished
    uni instead of doing what I really wanted to do which was
    travel. Now at the age of 25 I'm sick of being sensible.
    There's plenty of time for that, enjoy life while you're
    still free.



  15. Sophie, Added by: t
    [Timestamp: Fri 12 Feb, 22:18 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    If you are from Australia, you can get the working holiday visa and work in many many countries, including Japan and Commonwealth countries. Take advantage, you only have 5 years left, or try and find something in Europe where you can still get discounts for being under 26.



  16. so many people Added by: Lilly (lilly6@hotmail.com)
    [Timestamp: Sat 13 Feb, 1:37 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    with the same kind of dilemma - we are all brought up to
    think the career path is the way to go, I'm doing an ok job
    with a not bad salary, I'm applying for different jobs and
    getting turned down each time. Maybe somebody is trying to
    tell me that that isn't the way to go. If you are stuck -
    where do you see yourself this time next year - still in the
    bathrobe, the powder blue suit or on top of a mountain in
    Nepal? Do you think you would like to continue travelling?
    Don't worry about what other people are doing - they are
    following their path which isn't necessarily yours.
    Maybe some people are born to travel for the rest of their
    lives - who said that you can't? Who wrote the rule book? I
    have spent a several years following the "rules" ie get
    degree, go away for a while, come back, get job, make money,
    get better job, make more money, meet nice guy etc. But I'm
    stuck at the first get job stage and to tell you the truth
    the rest of it doesn't appeal to me. So I'm writing my own '
    rule book' not the one my parents want me to follow. Just
    remember the right path in life is the one you want to
    follow, not the one someone else wants for you. Get a job
    that will pay your bills for now and get you out of bed, and
    spend the time when you are stacking shelves or something to
    figure out just where you want to go and start moving.
    By the way, the Thorn Tree is a great source of
    information and inspiration and it has helped me to decide
    that next year I'm going to Africa.
    Could LL send me a mail? I'd love to chat about what you did
    in Africa, did you work etc??
    Thanks



  17. ditto Added by: Ria
    [Timestamp: Sat 13 Feb, 3:10 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    We all feel the same way after travelling long term whether
    you are 25 or *cough* 30...you have so many more options
    open at 25 than I have now due to visa restrictions
    imposed by age..*sob*..all the suggestions are good from
    reading to travelling again to working overseas...you just
    have to find what feels right! But definately, GET OUT..and
    enjoy life! Have a BLAST! and take care of
    yourself...
    I did some volunteer work in Central America and everyone
    else volunteering there was the same...all travellers
    looking for something more and trying to find their
    niche..we were more a self help group! Enjoy..



  18. Another thing Added by: *Less* Stuck
    [Timestamp: Sat 13 Feb, 4:20 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Hey again,
    This is so helpful and social, I feel like I'm having my
    morning coffee with a group of old friends :) I have
    another thought (at the risk of dragging this onward ....)
    Sometimes I think it's almost easier to take the traditional
    'route' than to veer off and do something different. First,
    for obvious reasons, society lays out that path for you, and
    it appeases your parents. And at cocktail parties when
    someone asks 'what do you do' you have an answer that they
    want to hear, and everyone is all surface happy.
    But then the difficult part ensues after you return home
    from travelling. In a very small, selfish way I almost wish
    I didn't know anything about the world, about how my
    lifestyle indirectly and adversely affects that of someone,
    say in, Korea or Brazil. I took environmental studies at
    school and almost fell into a depression. I wonder .. if I
    had a job and children, really, how much time would I devote
    to learning about the plights of capitalism, of social
    polarization, of nuclear waste, of global warming ...
    probably not much. It would be easier to push it to the
    back of my mind and simply provide the *best* life for
    myself and my family. With travelling, these things become
    so apparent and you end up having more trouble re-adjusting
    to the vigors of (in my case) North America and an awareness
    that lots of people just don't want to hear about. I'm not
    a hermit; I'm pretty typical -- watch Meg Ryan movies, own
    some GAP clothing, always say I'm going to go for that 'run
    in the park' but never get around to it, and love to
    socialize with close friends at my favorite restaurant/cafe.
    And I'm also not implying that all the 'working stiffs' out
    there are ignorant. It's just that, having exposed myself
    to different ways of thinking and living, the traditional
    route holds less meaning for me. Lilly said it best: "get
    degree, go away, come back, get job, get better job, meet
    nice guy etc" The question now, Lilly, is if I go away
    again, volunteering or working abroad or otherwise -- the
    reality of it is, that one day I'm going to have to return,
    even if I'm 40. And the choices are fewer, the fiscal
    realities all the more stressful ... maybe another option
    would be to work now, read as much as I can, try to do the
    most that I can as I attempt to keep my head above water in
    this capitalist pool, and hopefully travel some more after
    the age of 50. Just another idea. Maybe I can stop asking
    advice and start trying to put some thoughts back out there.



  19. Another non-travelled Added by: Ema
    [Timestamp: Mon 15 Feb, 22:09 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    To begin, I've only just discovered this sight and I'm
    suddenly EXTREMELY excited about going travelling later this
    year!!
    Anyway, from reading your initial letter, I thought I'd add
    my pearls of wisdom to the collection & if they do help how
    you feel, I'm pleased. I haven't travelled yet but I'm off
    later this year. I did school, A levels, uni and work
    without a break in between, and came to absolutely hate
    meeting up with old friends who during their university
    careers or after, had travelled extensively. I would be
    green with envy and also disappointed with myself for not
    having been more adventurous. Now, at the grand old age of
    24 (HA!), but with a good career under way, I've decided
    to say STUFF IT! It can wait!! I've finally realised that,
    especially if you aren't sure what you want to do, no big
    deal, there are so many things you can turn your hand to at
    anytime!! Also I laughed when I realised that we all, at
    some point, think that the grass is greener on the other
    side. Those very friends I'd been envious of later admitted
    that they were envious of me for having started a career
    instead of going exploring!!
    I'd like to add that I totally agree with the person above
    who mentioned going to teach in foreign countries. A good
    friend of mine, extremely well travelled, suddenly realised
    that this was the bestand quickest way to fulfill her sudden
    need for a permanent job and her wanderlust.
    As you said, maybe yours is a different path than that of
    commuting, stress, overtime, etc. Personally, right now, I
    can't wait to leave it all behind!!!!



  20. And another thing... Added by: Ema
    [Timestamp: Mon 15 Feb, 22:24 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    That'll teach me to write before I finish reading!!!
    As to your last entry, Less STUCK, just to help you try and
    seem a bit more positive and love yourself and whatever
    decisions you make a little more...the other thing I totally
    envy about people who have travelled (I know envy isn't
    generally a good thing but in this case I think it's
    acceptable), is the unbelievable stories they have to tell!
    I spent 3 weeks of one "glorious" British Summer constantly
    asking my well travelled friend questions about her trips
    abroad and being totally captivated by the wide variety of
    tales she had to tell.
    Even if you aren't sure what to do next, you're always going
    to be by far the most interesting person at one of those
    cocktail parties!!



  21. 10 years older Added by: M.
    [Timestamp: Tue 16 Feb, 1:42 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Hey Stuck & less-stuck! I really really liked what Peter
    (#4) said up there...AND, take some good advice from someone
    who is 10 years older than you. When I was your age we had
    to walk to 10 miles to school (oops! sorry, wrong
    diatribe!):)
    .
    Really, when I was your age, I PLAYED IT SAFE! BIG MISTAKE.
    I stayed with the great job, didn't go travelling (even
    though I really wanted to), worked my way through the career
    ladder, stayed with the guy (bad news but no kids, thank
    God!), etc. etc. I was miserable! MISERABLE! The only
    advantage I had over my career ladder friends is that I was
    finally able to admit how unhappy I was! Once I took that
    step to leave my great job, I could feel how unhappy the
    rest of them really where. And what's really funny is that
    the people I work with are so jealous about my decision.
    "Gees, I wish I had the guts, time, money (blah blah blah)
    to do what you're doing", etc. etc. Well, I DECIDED to take
    the time, use the money - it was a DECISION I made not some
    manna from heaven!
    .
    Here I sit 10 years later, wishing I had lived my dream when
    I was 25. So, I am...just 10 years later, I'm leaving in
    October for the beginning of the rest of my life -
    travelling for a year maybe more. Maybe working in TESL or
    something...don't know & don't care!!!
    .
    The only advantage I have now is that I have some money in
    the bank that I wouldn't have had when I was 25. But, so
    what, it has certainly not bought me life satisfaction.
    .
    My advice is as follows: always follow your heart. Don't
    bow into to anyone else's thoughts or desires. Not your
    friends, not your parents - THIS IS YOUR LIFE - NOT THEIRS!.
    Even if it seems like what you want to do is crazy, listen,
    listen, LISTEN to your inside. It will never ever let you
    down!!!
    .
    If you're interested, read "Callings: Finding and Following
    an Authentic Life" by Gregg Levoy ISBN 0-609-80370-0
    .
    "We may not cease being fearful, but we can cease to let
    fear control us. Furthermore, since there's fear and
    suffering in life whether or not we take on adventures,
    whether or not we follow our callings, we might as well
    suffer in the service of our dreams."



  22. Thanks so much Added by: Un-Stuck
    [Timestamp: Tue 16 Feb, 5:46 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    My name is Amy. :) And thanks everyone. I'm sure your
    responses have helped more than just myself. I made a
    scrapbook of my trip and have printed off this string to add
    to the back -- as a memoir of how my trip carried through
    the first month back at home. And of how wonderful the
    travelling culture is. I read my last entry and have to
    challenge some of the things I wrote. First -- it
    ultimately doesn't matter what my answer is to the age-old
    question "So, what do you do??" Because regardless of what
    I'm up to now, I'm still damn proud of what I HAVE done and
    how it's shaped who I am. It's been so very important to
    read about your experiences, and thank you M. for your
    honest response and advice. Ema, best of luck to you and I
    applaud both of you for your bravery. I didn't realize how
    self-absorbed I sounded, and how little I appreciated the
    opportunities that are avaliable for me now without having
    to make any major sacrifices. It's easy to get caught up in
    all this 'stuff' I've been nattering on about when I'm
    surrounded by it every day. But really, the only person to
    blame for my situation is me. Well, come to think about it,
    there's nothing to blame at all. Just to accept and do
    something about. I respond to lots of people on this site
    and always give the same advice "trust your instinct". It's
    high time I started listening to this and making choices on
    those premises. Best of luck to you all and if you want to
    keep up any correspondence you can reach me at
    avujanich@hotmail.com Love, Amy :)



  23. things do work out Added by: Catherine
    [Timestamp: Tue 16 Feb, 16:05 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Hi
    I am one of those people who has settled down with job,
    husband, mortgage, 2 dogs and a baby due in 3 weeks. I am
    very happy with my life now at the ripe old age of 31 but
    don't think that I could have felt this satisfied if I
    hadn't managed to do lots of travelling and working
    overseas when I was younger. It really helped open my eyes
    to things and work out what sorts of things are important
    to me. My husband has also done lots of independent
    travelling so we have that in common whcih is really
    important. We don't plan to end our travelling life for
    good but for obvious reasons things will be pretty
    different from now on, ie, travel will be just one thing to
    fit in to all our other interests and commitments. I am
    confident that our baby will grow up to be a traveller too.
    .
    Just wanted to reassure you that doing what you want to do
    at 25 doesn't mean that you can't have the other more
    "conventional" things later on. Nor does having the
    conventional things means that you have to kiss your
    travelling life goodbye forever.



  24. Lost Added by: angel
    [Timestamp: Tue 16 Feb, 18:31 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Really luv what happyelf wrote up there. Scrolling down,
    I read stuff that is really close to my heart. I'm now at
    this real depressing stage of my life when I'm stuck in a
    "stable and sensible" job I simply hate and my wanderlust
    getting stronger by the day. I'd give anything now to go
    work somewhere out there. But I really don't know how to go
    about it. Can some kind soul out there give me some advice?
    BTW, I'm from Singapore and I'm really close to tearing my
    hair out!



  25. Check this out Added by: Amy
    [Timestamp: Wed 17 Feb, 11:53 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Hey everyone,
    If you want to hear more people's opinions about a similar
    topic, I found a terrific (and long!!) string under Indian
    Subcontinent, titled "is there life after backpacking?".
    Check it out when you've got the time. It is helpful.
    Cheers!!



  26. Lilly? Added by: LL
    [Timestamp: Sat 20 Feb, 18:30 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Hey - tried to email you, not sure if you still wanted to
    talk, but let me know if I can get back to you somehow!
    ~
    LL



  27. help for angel? Added by: rockydog
    [Timestamp: Sun 21 Feb, 5:44 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Hi angel & everyone who has been giving advice to
    "stuck".I am totally amazed at what I have
    read.You gals and guys write stuff that are
    definitely capable of tranforming the lives of others.

    I dare say all of us here simply adores freedom and are
    curious and adventurous people whose heart and soul belongs
    to the great wide ocean,the high mighty mountains and
    deserts,you name it.
    Thank you folks for all of you had helped reaffirm that
    we need to follow where our heart leads us.
    angel,I am an aquarian(they are seldom known to take on
    conventional ways)so I do not know if my advice to you might
    sound too radical.My advice to you is quit your job and go
    for volunteer work abroad.That is the best way to start.You
    can look upon this as a short term or long term thing.But it
    is guaranteed to give you some of the most amazing and
    rewarding experiences of your life.I have not done any
    volunteer work myself but I am set to go this August.I have
    enroled myself in a 14 month programme which involves 8
    months of work & training in Europe and 6 months of the real
    thing in Africa.
    And angel,I am also a singaporean.If you are genuinely
    interested(to let you know the volunteer work
    is no holiday thing,it is tough work),drop me a line
    and I will be glad to supply any further info you need.
    Will be watching this page.



  28. finally! Added by: angel (angelhz@singnet.com.sg)
    [Timestamp: Sun 21 Feb, 23:50 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    hey rockydog, you really made my day! I've been watching
    this page eagerly, waiting for some kind soul to enlighten
    me!
    YES! I'd really love to do just that - volunteer work RTW!
    Just that...how much do I need to have in my pocket? As I
    had just graduated from Uni, I'm pretty broke now. Anyhow, I
    think that is exactly what I was thinking of doing. In fact,
    I've always wanted to do something like that . Back in Uni,
    wanted to join Raleigh on one of their trips but couldn't
    make it then. And don't worry, I know very well what to
    expect - definitely not a holiday, but finally, a chance to
    truly live my life!
    How do you enrol in this program? What is it all about? Tell
    me, I'd love to know all about it!
    Send me out into another life
    lord because this one is growing faint
    I do not think it goes all the way
    - W.S. Merwin
    This sums up my feelings perfectly.
    Can't wait to hear from you!
    For the first time in my life, I'll be listening to my
    heart...angel



  29. Sounds like me Added by: Candice (jloebl@hotmail.com)
    [Timestamp: Fri 26 Feb, 14:04 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I read your post and I realized that it could have been me three years ago. I know--there's something weird about travel. It almost causes you to lose your momentum when it comes to the "real world." Ah-ha! And that's when I discovered my career....I'm a flight attendant now, and I have been for 3 years. I love my job-not because it is the glamorous thing that everyone would like to think it is, but because it has allowed me to tailor my life to suit my needs, and to pursue other things that are more important to me such as reading, cooking, art and obsessive travel! Now, I'm not saying that this job is for everyone, because there is definitely a challenge lacking, but I am saying that it is a means to an end, and because of that, I've found my nitche. Oh, the airlines hire for all sorts of positions, by the way. And, all of the positions come with flight benefits......Hmmm. Just something to think about. C



  30. shake hands Added by: nina
    [Timestamp: Fri 26 Feb, 21:40 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    I'm rely glad I found this web-side and realize I'm not the
    only addicted-traveller who finds it a struggle to be back
    home (Holland). I came back last year after a 2 1/2 year
    trip. I started this trip as soon as I finished Uni, so
    never got a steady job before.
    I've done travelling since I was 19 and it's in my blood,
    don't know how to get rid of it and only think about leaving
    again.
    I got realy depressed this time coming back, but It realy
    takes time and you have to take time.
    I want to leave again and I got in touch with
    travel-organisations. Probably this summer I can start as a
    guide in India/Nepal. It will be a different way of
    travelling, because you have to show a group of 15 people a
    country in 4 weeks, but at least I can move again, make
    money while travelling and got a goal instead of just
    wandering around the world.
    Wouldn't it be great to meet all the girls who wrote on this
    side? Happy travels & think positive



  31. Things look up sometimes... Added by: LL
    [Timestamp: Sun 14 March, 17:44 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Just for the record, I've been following my own advice from
    above (or at least trying to) and I've since met an amazing
    Italian guy who's busy making me promises about how much
    I'll love Rome, Florence, Venice, etc....
    .
    Just thought it might make you smile.
    .
    LL



  32. many thanks Added by: ayla
    [Timestamp: Sun 9 May, 8:43 Tasmanian Standard Time]

    Thank-you one and all for all the utterly magical reading.I
    just found this site by accident today!! JOY!!!




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