I wonder if any one could be of help as i am having a bit of
a dilemma . I have decided to embark on a round the world
trip , i am planning to visit SEA , Australia , New Zealand
and Canada ( with various bits inbetween ). Sounds okay so
far. The thing is my ex boyfriend is planning to leave at
around the same time . I really like the idea of going alone
but to be honest i am a little apprehensive so i was
thinking of starting the journey with him and losing him
somewhere on the way !I have travelled alot before but never
alone. Should i just do it and go solo ???
[There are 19 posts - the latest was added on Thu 22 April, 12:32]
Use the form at the end of this page to add your own post.
Topics
| Thorn Tree
| Home
I definitely suggest you go on your own.
forget about the ex...it will probably give you more
problems that you care for on the road.
I've travelled on my own, and plan to do it again this
year, and definitely recommend it.
Yes, there were times when I was lonely, but that only
gives you incentive to be more outgoing and meet people.
You'll never regret doing it.
Good luck and happy travels!
You are a scheming, selfish bitch. Go on your own.
I understand your
apprehension. My advice?
Feel the fear and do it
anyway! Good luck, Sam!
I agree with posting 2 above. To use someone knowingly in
the manner that you describe is a selfish and self-centred
act. I would take bets that he dumped you and I don't
wonder why. My suggestion to you is to spend the time
sitting somewhere quiet and reflecting on what sort of
person you are.
Some of the posts above are harsh for no reason. You don't
know why they split up and it could be that the ex-
boyfriend would like a friend as a companion on the trip!
So butt out! Anyway, Sam, I think you should go on your own
because you will meet up with others given the destinations
you are going to and your apprehension will fall away. Good
luck and have fun!
Ditch the ex-boyfriend - go on your own...you're going to be
travelling to countries that should pose little problem for
a solo woman traveller.
.
Read Thalia Zepatos "A Journey of One's Own" - it completely
changed my outlook on long-term solo travel.
.
If you're concerned about being alone, why not start off
your trip with a short tour?? There are great companies
that do overland adventure tours that would help you get
your feet wet.
Think about this. This Sam is not sure about travelling on
her own, but wants to use her ex as a prop until she feels
confident enough to dump him somewhere along the line at a
time that she decides. If that isn't scheming, I don't
know what is! That is a selfish attitude and only if Sam
tells her ex what she has told us would I change my mind.
What would you feel if she made all these arrangements and
then her ex decided not to go with her at the last moment?
You would think that she was hard done by I bet. I stick
to my view - Sam is a self-centred person and I'm glad I
have the support of "So Stop It"
.
Reality check, ladies...Sam doesn't want relationship
counselling--just reassurance that she most definately CAN
travel without the "safety" of a male companion! Sam,
accept the fact that travelling alone will almost always
hold a sense of apprehension, but it should never stop you
from following your dreams... take time to mentally
prepare, follow your intuition, and go for it. I think that
you will find your particular destinations to be relatively
safe, so as long as you follow your head (and heart). A
couple books that really helped me are:
-Gutsy Women: Wisdom and Tips for The Road by Marybeth Bond
-A Journey of One's Own: Uncommon Advice for the
Independent Woman Traveler by Thalia Zepatos
Good luck!
come on sam just go for it..........you know you can!!!!!!!
your not scheming or selfish the fact is you both feel you
need the support of the other as you have travelled together
before and it worked. i'm sure that's what your ex-blokky
(who shall remain nameless) feels toooooooo. JUST BOOK THE
TICKET DON'T WAIT ANY LONGER. BYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE
Well I don't know how some of you came to the decision that
Sam is scheming.
For all you know Sam and her ex have discussed their travel
plans.
sam it IS scarry to embark on travels on your own.
The countries that you intend visiting are all OK
I live in Sydney, Australia and I know that we Aussies are
really friendly.
It is quite on the cards that you will meet fellow
travellers en route and go for parts of your journies with
them.
If you feel lack of confidence then discuss the travel plans
with the ex and maybe travel with him for a while.
You will have a different perspective on travelling if you
do it solo than if you start off with your ex.
If you are a strong personality then bite the bullet and go
alone, if you need a little help travel with your ex for a
while.
All in all have fun and take it all one day at a time.
If you lay things on the table before going together (and
not on the plane), and you both feel comfortable about
travelling together for a few days (or more if you like it),
then there should be no problem.
It's always nicer to land with someone you know and trust,
because the first few days are the most difficult (entering
the travelling mood). Especially if you start in SEA and
you've never been there before.
BUT - it's true only if so agreed before going, and each one
is free to go on its way, without hidden expectations.
I am Canadian and traveled alone through most of the areas
you are planning to visit. It was scary at times, but I
never felt that my life was in danger. The only place where
I was really uncomfortable was in Indonesia - particularly
on Java. I don't recommend traveling at night or falling
asleep on busses or trains. This seems to be an invitation
for men to take advantage: I was amazed to wake up and find
the guy beside me groping me under my clothes. However, I
met a nice Dutch guy who hung around with me for a couple of
days, and when I was with him, the locals totally left me
alone. Anyway, you will be sure to meet other travelers and
will not be spending all your time alone. Good luck.
Well, I hate to ever encourage a woman not to go it alone,
though in SEA-- might be nice to have a male buffer,
depending on where you are going. My experience there was
limited to Singapore and Malaysia. Singapore solo- no probs,
but Malaysia I did feel as if it was quite beneficial to
have my husband there. Not for any fear of safety, really,
just that some predominantly Muslim areas we visited had
me feeling as if had I been there without a male "escort",
there would have been some Hester Prynne (sp?) action
going on. I've travelled on my own quite a bit (New Zealand,
Tokyo, Western Europe, Scandinavia) so I'm not writing from
a male-dependant travel perspective. Then again, I DIDN'T
do Malyasia on my own-- so who knows if my suspicions were
correct. Hopefully someone with first hand knowledge will
be able to contradict me!
I won't presume to have any knowledge of your arrangement
with your ex- but if you DO decide to travel with your ex
for a few days, and you haven't made your intentions to
"lose" him along the way clear already, I think you owe
it to him to do so. As a traveller you will learn very
quickly how important it is to live honestly and with pure
intentions (as much as you are able). I've found the cycles
of good and bad "karma" to have almost immediate
repercussions on the road.
You know my earlier response may have been short-sighted:
if you're not all that keen on your ex as travel buddy, it's
fairly likely, esp if hostelling, that you'll find someone
to hook up with at least for short legs of the trip
have you openly discussed your potential plans with your
ex? Or was it to be just a little surprise for him? If
the former, then congratulations on being honest, if the
latter, then listen to what some of us have said - if
you're dishonest with someone else's emotions you will pay
for it with interest.
First of all , thankyou for all the wonderful advice .
Secondly, i only meant the 'lose him ' thing as a joke. We
have discussed it at length and both of us decided that it
would be good to have support at the beginning and then go
our seperate ways after a while.I don't think , however ,
that we had fully taken into consideration just how
difficult it may be ; the best option for the both of us is
to start this whole new phase without each other. So that 's
it , i'm off....
Don't ever compromise! You will meet sooooo many people
that you want to be with and enjoy yourself! It is always
scary starting on your own but ... there is a great social
scene out there and special time on your own! I had to
leave a boyfriend while travelling and it was really
difficult but the freedom from the tension was worthwhile!
Healthy! Explore your independence and capacity to take
care of yourself! That's the best part of travel!
You'll gain so much more confidence in yourself! I'm
Canadian and have lived in Japan for two years and
backpacked by myself in Thailand, Indonesia and Nepal. You
will feel so empowered after! Canada is fairly safe and the
hostels are great for meeting people. I'm not the most
outgoing person but I managed to do it and never ended up
travelling by myself. Do it for yourself!