I am a 21 year old female and graduating from college in
May. I would like to backpack Europe "alone". This is
raising much more controversy than I expected by my family
(especially my dad). So what I want to know is; am I
thinking unrealistically. Is this unsafe. Is it ignorant
for me to think that travelling alone is O.K? I feel
confident in myself and believe that this is something that
I can do, but I dont know how to explain this to my
family. Please any suggestions, opinions, criticisms would
be greatly appreciated. Thanks :)
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hi natalie,
well i guess this all depends on how mature you are. no really. if your not mature enough to do this then i hope that you would know. so maybe a little introspective and some soul searching will give you the answer. just remember to be honest and true to yourself.
second, if you have honestly found that you are capable of doing this on your own then prehaps your families worries would be put to rest if you were to take some self defense classes. take your mom or dad to the classes with you so they can see first hand that you're a grown woman and able to take care of yourself. self-defense calsses are a must! even if your not travelling or if your going with a friend. you never know what situation you will find yourself in.
i wish you the best and hope that everything works out for you.
melissa
Went last year for 3 weeks. I'm 43 and didn't want to go alone so I took my buddy. We ended up fighting in Amsterdam and I left. Hopped a train and went where I wanted to go and saw things that interested me, (not the inside of bars and pubs the entire trip.) It was the best thing I ever did. I found Europe to be completely safe. I traveled to Paris, Luxenmbourg, Germany, Belgium and Amsterdam. Never had a problem. Travel Smart. Tell your Dad I ran into 13-16 yr old kids out on holiday by themselves or in groups of 4-6. They were from Spain and having a ball. I would let my daughter go in a minute. It is a huge growing experience. When you travel alone people perceive you differently. I have found that when you are with someone, people are not so apt to talk to you. I have had some of my best times traveling alone.
I travelled alone for 5 months through OZ, new Zealand and
Thailand. O.K. so it's not Europe, but I don't think there
is much difference. I lived in Europe all my life (UK and
Germany) and I can't think of a reason why you shouldn't go
by yourself. Just remember to be streetwise, i.e. don't go
to certain areas late at night and use your common sense. It
was the best thing I ever did.
I hope this doesn't seem mean, but you are 21 and an adult
and fully capable of taking care of yourself at that age
(I'm assuming). I travelled Europe and the Middle East by
myself for 4 months last year and plan on going by myself
through Africa and other places in 2000. Sure, there were
times when I didn't feel 100% safe, but if you're smart and
listen to your intuition, you'll be just fine. Also, the
rules of the road tend to bring you together with other
travellers no matter where you are. You'll meet up with
people and travel with them for days at a time, so you'll
never be really 'alone'. Go for it!
Kat.
(and write with any questions, hope I wasn't too harsh.)
Don't listen to others, beacuse they really don't KNOW what
they are talking about. Their opinions are based on what
they see and read through the media....NOT personal
experience. Bad things happen everywhere. You will not be
wearing a sign that says "I AM TRAVELLING ALONE, PLEASE
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME". You will find that people all over
the world are friendly and happy to help you...just
because! Please don't let others persuade you that you
need someone else (ie a man) to go with you to keep you
safe, YOU WILL BE FINE!! Just do a lot of research....read
Thelia Zepatos book A JOURNEY OF ONE'S OWN and build up
your courage through knowledge! Good luck to you!
Heather
I love that book, lone woman traveler. The other one I like and is an easy read is: Gutsy Women, travel tips and wisdom for the road by Marybeth Bond. It's a great little book that fits in your pack, I've bought several copies and given them as gifts out on the road. Happy Trails..
I agree completely with what everyone else has said,
particularly #4 & #5.
.
You are 21 & you are graduating from college & at some
point, you will have to cut the strings...not saying that
you divorce yourself from your parents but, you will have to
start living your own life, making your own decisions
really soon. Remember, THIS IS YOUR LIFE, NOT YOUR PARENTS'
LIFE!!!
.
Also, you are going to EUROPE!, not Afghanistan or Iraq -
there's a huge difference. Europe has a well-beaten tourist
path, they're used to backpackers & most people you will run
into will speak English or at least be able to understand
you...Be careful, don't act stupidly & if it makes you feel
better, err on the side of cautiousness...
.
There are TONS of women out there travelling alone. It is
possible, it is safe and it is more rewarding than
travelling with other people. You will learn so much about
yourself, you will gain confidence, self assurance & a real
sense of yourself -- that is more valuable than anything
else in the world...
.
Read Thalia Zepatos - in fact, let your DAD read it too!
My Dad was shocking too. He gave me grief from the time I
decided to go until..... I told him I was changing my
plans. I said I was going to Saudi and Egypt on my own and
he hit the roof. After a few weeks I said "Dad, I
understand your concerns about these countries, being a
single woman blah blah blah...so I've decided to take your
advice and go to Europe instead." He was happy and didn't
give me anymore grief. Reverse, but yukky, reverse
psychology. In fact he even helped me to finance my trip in
the end. He was so happy.
Hi Natalie. I just wanted to let you know that there is
someone else out there that is in the same position as you
are. Except I'm even older! I've travelled quite a bit but
generally not longer than 3 weeks and never on my own.
However, in a couple months that's exactly what I'm doing
and boy did that cause a stir with my parents! I'm 23 and
have been living by myself for four years on the other side
of the province. My mother chooses now to start running my
life. This from a woman who emigrated to a brand new
country by herself when she was only 2 years older than I am
now. Anyway, you have to decide what is right for you. I
have. I'm going. No if's, and's or but's about it. This is
important to me and something I have been looking forward to
for a long time. If it's right for you, take the plunge.
I've done a ton of research and I have to agree with all
the above people. I don't think we have anything to worry
about:)
I went to Europe when I was 18 years old for six months. I
traveled alone and I was fine. It ws the best education a
girl out of high school could have had, I started the
university in the midwest (USA) and couldn't believe how
much I had changed in that time.
The only mess I was in was because I let my guard down
after 5 1/2 months of travel and someone stole my cash
wallet while I was at breakfast (always carry your money in
various places so you won't have a
catastrophe if some of it is stolen) a stupid move on my
part. So I cut my trip to six months. I
live in Japan now but I have been back to Europe to study
and/or visit several times since then (I'm 23
now). I agree that you need to use common sense and read up
about the places you which to visit. I
also think that if you are aware of what's happening around
you you should be fine. Plus with all of the
lone travelers you will inevitably end up meeting up with
people in the hostels, on the train, in traveler
hot spots etc...
My family was a bit nervous about my age and all, but I
promised to call them if they paid for the phone
cards/calls! (If you're graduating, ask for them to buy
phone cards or put money into an ATT account
or something like that)
Anyway, if you have any more questions, feel free to email
me, you should go you'll learn a lot!
You Go Girl!!! I'm a 26 yr old Aussie and went to Europe by
myself when I was 22. I had friends to go to at first but
made my way through a year of all sorts of jobs and fun,
came home and now am in the states and commimg back to live.
All I can say is it will be the most wonderful growing
experience for you and the hard times only get better. I
suggest going to London first and getting a nanny job which
ia really easy to do, live in and suss it all out. In the
mean time you can do little trips and meet people in Youth
Hostels. I managed to score a job nannying in Italy for
6months with awealthy family and learn't heaps from all of
my experiences. Nannying seems to be the safest easiest way
to travel learn and earn for a chick. If you want to email
me for another chat, please do, I'd be only too happy to.
I'm actually leaving San Fran soon to travel Turkey/India by
my lonesome and after all my travel I'm still a little
scared. The best you can do is talk to everyone and anyone
about it and certainly log into these websutes.
Cheers and good luck.
Sarah
Go for a trip alone through Europe!!
You are a grown-up person and nobody can stop you from
going, not even your parents. Explain to them that you have
to do the trip to "find your true you" and when you are on
the road, phone them from time to time so that they can
calm down. The idea above with the self-defense classes is
great as well!
It's safe as long as you use the much-quoted common sense =
I agree to all ya girls above! There are rough areas in
major European cities, but you'll hear about them and they
are not there where you want to go, anyway!
I live alone in Europe, far away from my parents (of
course, I was born here!!) and can say, life is safe here
for a young single woman!
Feel free to drop a line. I'll be happy to show you Geneva
in Switzerland if you pass through there.
Take care
I travelled by myself through New Zealand and found it
fine, and actually met more people that way than travelling
with a friend. I then returned and backpacked through
Europe, and I have to say it was very different. The
cultures are quite different - the Catholic countries treat
women pretty badly. In Italy my friend and I got groped on
a train, and flashed at. This also happened in Spain. I
would say don't go to these countries, but go to the more
'modern' ones like Germany, Austria, France, etc, which are
a bit more like England!
I was flashed in Berlin and a friend was raped by a train
conductor in Germany as well. These are pretty
unusual things, but they can happen anywhere twisted jerks
are found (not just Spain and Italy). In my
experience I found the Italian men to be more bark than
bite, although I didn't go any further south than
Rome. It helps to avoid the night trains in the poorer
counties if you are alone, though.
It might also help calm your parents if you give them an
itinerary before you go, you don't have to follow
it exactly but my folks felt better when they knew roughly
where I was going to be and that they could
contact me in an emergency if they had to. American Express
has some pretty good member services
in that area. You might want to consider getting a card
(have your worried dad pay the membership
fee) and then you can pick up mail and messages at the AE
offices, or that's how I understand it.
Your own confidence is the most important thing I believe,
you can really get a lot of places by just
looking like you know what you're doing. I cover ALL my
guide books with brown paper
or newsprint (it gets kind of grubby, though makes you look
less "green") and when I was going to go on a day trip I
would try to find
a copy shop and make copies of the section I wanted, and I
always folded my maps into palm or
pocket sized sections when wandering around town, I was A
BIT less conspicuous that way. That't it for now..
Hi Natalie,
I think that after all the advice above, you have decided to go along with it and go to Europe (maybe you could let us know by adding another post yourself). So I have one tip before you go.
Get a hotmail e-mail address at:
http://www.hotmail.com/
(Click on: "Sign up here")
In this way you can keep in touck with your family in a cheap way. You can access your e-mail account from any terminal that has an Internet connection.
I don't think that Europe is less safe than the USA, it just depends on what choices you make and how good you are at following your intuition (and of course some luck, but that doesn't have to do with WHERE you are).
You might also find interesting info and another message board on:
http://www.eurotrip.com/
Also you could let your dad read the Safety chapters of guidebooks, it will show him that you are aware of dangers and that you are preparing yourself.
Happy travels!
Thanks to all of you for responding with your greatest
advice. Please keep writing. I am definitely going to read
the book "A Journey of ones own". Thanks for all of the
recommendations and opinions. Please write me with anymore
bits of helpful insight. I appreciate all of your time in
helping me with my situation. I want you to know that all
of your advice is greatly appreciated and taken to heart. I
look forward to making this journey on my own and it helps
to know that people around the world are doing the same
thing. Thanks again and happy trails to all of you!
Don't worry about travelling by yourself, I travelled alone
throughout Eastern Europe last summer (I am 21, and it was my
first time in Europe). I had a fantastic time - and so will
you! Just be cautious about going places at night by yourself
and watch your surroundings when you're in large uncrowded
places (like parks, trails, etc.) even during the day.
Have fun!
All excellent advice, but one more point people seem to have missed....an important safety consideration as a woman travelling alone is keep the alcohol to a minimum!
Europe is generally safe as long as you're sensible, but you don't want your judgement impaired, especially at night.
That being said, you'll probably meet loads of people along the way, so you won't necessarily be alone all the time.
Have a great time!
The old proverb, "If you Fear it, It will happen" may apply.
Don't 'create' any realities for yourself and keep a
positive attitude. Bad things may happen, but they occure to
teach you about Life. Don't be afraid of them.
Understand that your parents feel helpless to protect you
(still their 'child') from the perceived evils of the world.
Knowing that may help you aleviate some of Their fears. One
would say that is your responsibility as a good daughter.
Try to look at everything from their perspective.
You'll do fine.
Ed~
I went to Europe by myself after my first year of college,
and spent two monthes. I was nineteen years old. First of
all, I learned more in those two monthes about how to take
care of myself, how to interact with other people, and in
general about human nature than in any other way. The worst
thing that happened to me was some wolf whistles, hissing,
and I got my ass grabbed once. In Chicago (where I go to
school) and New York (where I grew up) I have gotten all the
above, plus mugged, pick-pocketed and assulted. Europe is
really no different in that respect from the rest of the
world. I am willing to bet that going to college and living
in a dorm you were exposed to a higher possability of sexual
assult by other students than you would be in Europe.
My personal conclusion about being a woman traveler, and
please disagree anyone out there, is that European men have
a much freer sense of admiring women, which may result in
harrasment such as whistles or comments, but I also felt
that serious limits were much more respected, ie, I never
felt that I could actaully be raped. However, there are bad
men and bad people everywhere, and common sense and
intuition go a long way anywhere. If you feel uncomfortable
or creeped out by something, leave! Do what you feel good
with. That said, some concrete tips:
(some really good ideas were mentioned above, too)
-get a wedding type ring that you can put on and wave in
peoples faces if you feel like they won't leave you alone
-meet other people at hostels to travel to a new city with,
so you won't be alone in an unfamiliar place before you get
your bearing
-never, ever, ever, take off a money/passport/pouch that you
wear UNDER your clothes (I think the waist ones are best,
and quite slim, however, take out what you will be using
that day, so you do not have to reveal all your valuables in
places like shops and transport)
-get extra credit cards/travelers checks/cash. keep some
form of money and a copy of your passport/tickets in
everypiece of luggage-purse, pack, daypack
Have a wonderful time. I have been back twice, for several
months in France and a summer in Holland. Feel free to email
for any questions or advice!!!
-Yana
I did Europe when I was 22- I'm 24 now-planning my trip to
the South Pacific & Asia to Teach English. My family
thought I was crazy-but they just don't get it. I had the
time of my life & so will you. Just read up on books &
magazines about independent travel & you'll be fine. Now go
off & show everyone "you're a women who can take on the
world!!!"
Natalie, I think you'll be OK; if your parents don't that's
their problem and they can't stop you going (unless you're
expecting them to pay for it).
The first time I travelled alone, when I was 19, my parents
didn't even know about it until I got back - I had gone
with a friend but she decided to come home early, so I just
stayed away on my own for another 2 months. When I got home
and owned up my parents weren't too pleased, but they
couldn't tell me it wasn't safe as I'd obviously survived.
I'm not necessarily recommending this approach, just
thought you might be interested!
I travelled solo for the first time when I was 18
(Australia/NZ). It was fantastic and I met so many more
people than I did on subsequent travels with boyfriends,
friends, etc. However, one thing I would be careful of is
sleeping on trains if you are the only one in the
compartment (which I suppose is common sense and would apply
to almost anywhere in the world).
GO FOR IT, NAT. There's no need to explain yourself. It
is something you'll always treasure....
Doing a nanny job / au pair in the London or southeast
coast area seems to be a good and safe starting point to
discover Europe. If you need help in Germany, feel free to
email me.
Nat, I think you owe it to yourself to do this! As your best
friend I am telling you this from the bottom of my heart,
you need to go on this trip. Now's the time girl. Lately
you've been struggling with decisions about careers, where
to work this summer...this trip is being handed to you! The
rest can wait, just take one thing at a time. Traveling can
open your mind in crazy ways, alter your thinking and
sometimes the path you once thought was right for you.
You're a strong and tough chic, smart and sensible. You'll
be alright, kid. I love you! -NCM
Go for it! Opportunity of a lifetime! Just use your common
sense and you'll be fine.
If you hit on the UK in your travels, let me know; I live
in Oxford and if you want a friend in the UK - just let me
know!
Keep a journal and definately get a Hotmail account.
Have lots of fun!
I told people I was traveling with a friend, whom I was
going to meet later. In some situation I felt more
comfortable by doing this. Just try to look as if you know
what you are doing. But for the same don┤t hestitate to ask
for help.
LISTEN TO YOUR DADY! HE'S OLDER, WISER AND IS ALWAYS RIGHT! DON'T CRY! MUM
Hi, I've got a similar problem and empathise completely, I
have been offered a job for 2 yrs in Ethiopia and the
parents went nuts! I live in europe though and have
travelled around most of it solo, and at times when there
weren't that many travellers on the road, unfailingly people
are friendly and generally concerned for loan females
travelling on their own, the amount of advice you get is
phenomenal, including a women in potugal who came running
out of the house and told me to put my sweater on or I'd
catch my death of cold! Mother would be delighted! Go for
it, they'll come round, you'll have a great time and be
perfectly safe with just a wee bit of street-wise common
sense. The sense of freedom and achievement is incredible
and an extended stay in Europe is too good to be missed!
Good-Luck, if it's any consolation I am screening calls at
the moment, dreading getting one from my Dad re: Ethiopia!
Parents are the same everywhere, and I guess we'll always be
their little girls!