I have just found out from my boyfriend that I am unusual
(he thinks) in that I don't climax though penetration alone.
I know this is a personal subject, but now I'm paraniod that
I am not 'right' in bed ! I half don't quite believe him as
well though and think he may have had some 'fakers' on his
hands or his penis !! I really enjoy sex and have no
difficulty in climaxing, by oral or manual stimulation, but
I can't imagine having a 'big' clitoral orgasm thru
penetration alone. Don't get me wrong I have what I call
'vaginal' orgasms thru penetration, but not big earth
shattering clit ones. Am I abnormal, do you all come thru a
simple thrusting of penis ?
[There are 17 posts - the latest was added on Sun 23 May, 2:56]
Use the form at the end of this page to add your own post.
Topics
| Thorn Tree
| Home
What does that have to do with travelling? Let's use this site for what it is and not some veiled smut thing.
aFrom my experience, you are not at all abnormal. Every woman I have ever 'known' (a modest number, in my view) has reached orgasm in different ways, each in her own variety of ways, and even that is fluid, in the sense that over time, each woman's orgasmic responsiveness can change. Most remarkable of all, each woman seemed somewhat surprised by the variability of her orgasmic experience, either from one partner to another, or over time through the evolution of a partnership.
Have your orgasms any way you like them. All I would ask of you would be that you discard any guilt or shame you may be inclined to feel about the way you achieve them.
I can't orgasm by penetration either. I enjoy sex and get
incredibly aroused but absolutely *nothing* seems to push me
over the edge. I'm probably thinking about it all too much
at the time and that intervenes with orgasm? Who knows?
Sometimes I can't have orgasm by oral stimulation either. It
can really stress me out sometimes because I'm thinking
about what my partner's thinking and thinking about me being
'abnormal' etc. But thankfully I have a wonderful partner
who doesn't seem to mind - and sex is getting better
everyday. (It's concerned one previous partner alot)
Hopefully if I just relax some more it MAY happen one day. I
guess the main thing we have to do is not to panic or stress
and realise that we're NOT ABNORMAL. (And to Jim, thankyou
for your great comments) Any other guys with comments about
this issue??
Well you said the magic words - I really enjoy sex, so enjoy it in your own way. A man is turned on more by a woman enjoying herself than how she achieves it.
Though things vary woman to woman, it is VERY COMMON for a
woman not to reach orgasm thru penetration alone. Perhaps
your man should do some reading on this subject if the
thinks your experience is abnormal.
Whichever way feels good, take it, and don't feel guilty,
there's no harm where there's pleasure - any pleasure. BUT
don't take any B/shit from your man, he's either ignorant
or a real MCP. Women mostly DO NOT climax from
penetration. Our main pleasure button is outside, not
inside. If he is too "tired" to give you your own way of
pleasure, then you should be too "tired" to give him any
pleasure. Why should his needs come above yours, and why
should you be told you're abnormal if it's him who's
incapable in bed or thinking abnormally? What's the point
of having a man in bed if all he gives you are feelings of
guilt and no pleasure? Might as well do it yourself, at
least you won't have the bother to clean his socks or pay
lip service to his mother. If he doesn't learn that fast, I
mean REAL fast, dump him.
Well, maybe it's not the right place, but occasionally we
need some personal advice and we don't know where to ask.
At least here we'll get replies from girl travellers who
might well be broader-minded, have better thought-out
answers, BECAUSE they have travelled. Also, we reach
different cultures, so we might get replies from different
viewpoints, which you won't necessarily get on a US chat
line - I'm French, I write from Switzerland. Besides, I for
one, would not know where else to post that type of
question and get some sincere/genuine replies. So, yes OK
if we can let's keep it to travel, but offer a helping hand
when the subject is not travel. TOLERANCE, isn't that just
what we learn when travelling?
By the way, my man is extra special in bed, he will go down
on me for hours and expect nothing in return for example,
hes not being horrible, just curious that he thinks he's
made every other woman he has slept with come from just
penetration, (bit of a dreamworld this one it seems), I was
just being over sensitive about it and wondered, as I
wouldn't ask my friends face to face.
OK, so at least he looks after you in bed, that's better.
Next tell him he's only met fakers who just couldn't be
bothered to tell him things straight. Have you investigated
why it should be that no-one other girl could be that
bothered to tell him what a woman is like? Is he on a power
trip to belittle you? (Watch out, many are like this). He
might well be in a dream world, bring him back to earth,
give him the right books, and see if he learns. If he's too
scared to contemplate he's thinking wrong/ignorant and that
after useful reading still thinks you're abnormal, DUMP
him. He'll be just as narrow-minded for everything else.
Good luck.
Thanks everyone for your advice. Yes I know why no other
woman has bothered to tell him that he was wrong, I'm his
first proper girlfriend/relationship !! He's been out with
loads of women, but never been 'in love', like he is with
me. So, I tend to think its just inexperience/nievity on
his part, but he's a fast learner, he'll 'come' good in the
end !!' Pardon the pun. I also think its quite a lot to do
with ego, and he probably likes the thought that he's a stud
who makes everyone come !! I find this very funny,
especially now I realise I'm not abnormal with this
climax/penetration thing !! I feel sorry for him in a way
that he has reached the age of 24 and is quite
dissillisioned by this !! But, I love him anyway.
I second Sylvia. Tolerance please. There are lots of
lunatics and flamers here but then anonimity also allows
people to air genuine problems (albeit un-travel-related).
Put up with it. One day you too will have personal
(non-travel-related) issues to discuss.
As a male I posted a query here more than a year ago, (a
subject which I plan to elaborate in a separate thread) and
got some sage advice which I am taking.
Some of us go to counsellors and some of us come here or do
both. Tolerance and peace.
would a woman asking this question use the name "cherry"?!!
stop answering these dumb questions about sex and cut/uncut
and maybe these moron will leave us alone.
CAN WE PLEASE DELETE THIS ENTIRE POST... IT'S OFFENSIVE AND
OBJECTIONABLE AND IF IT REALLY NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED, IT
SHOULD BE DONE IN A MORE APPROPRIATE FORUM NOT A TRAVEL
SITE!!
God !! You're on about unbelivable ! and swearing on here
yourself, thats offensive, stop moaning. I am not a man by
the way. Theres loads of you on here like mini-hitlers, you
reactionaries !! telling people off for what they write, do
you expect the whole world who has access to this to be so
boring that they stick to the 'rules' like robots ? A bit
of someting different does you good !! The only reason I
asked on here was because the women's bit seems to be more
openminded and supportive, and it was due to a travel
question that I even asked in here (but I'm obviously not
going to use the name name !). Stop being such control
freaks and wanting everyone to be so serious, some of you
matrons should have a good sex session and relax, be it with
a man or woman !!
Some of us are a wee bit prudish, are we not? Anyway, for
Cherry, I've only been with two women, but for both of them
orgasms involved usually a lot of clit stimulation, usually
by fingers as my tongue would get too tired. Mental things
seemed to play a big part as well. It was definately a
surprise for me as well that sex was not a lot simpler, as a
guy my body is designed for easy pleasure in comparison and
good education on the matter (see the posts above) was a
little difficult to get.
Well male2....don't you know a lot on such a small amount
of experience??? Really...stick to the program!!! Which is
(in case you forgot) TRAVELLING
This is one of the few decent sites for travellers. there
are billions of sex sites - even decent low key ones for
women to ask questions just like yours. i am not trying to
be a mini-hitler i just think that this site should be
travelling only. by he way, i agree with the other writers,
i think you are probably just some lonely computer geek
looking for good wank material.