Summary on October 12, 1999 meeting - Marriage - What for? - by Steve Palmquist.
More ideas were then raised as to potentially "essential elements"
of marriage. Clifford suggested that unconditional love between the
couple must form the heart of any philosophical definition. Others pointed
out that not all societies would expect this in a marriage. Louisa proposed
that the common denominator between all societies may simply be the view
that marriage is a long-term commitment to live together. Several complained
that this is too vague and could just as well describe flatmates. Clifford
reiterated his view that unconditional love is the key: without love, there
is no marriage, only cohabitation. Arti noted that there are many aspects
to love. And Roy objected that there is slim evidence that any necessary
connection exists between love and marriage. The most we can say is that
they often occur together. It all depends in the end on mutual expectations.
Partners in an arranged marriage, for example, do not expect love, so it
often does not develop. Other suggestions for essential elements were:
exclusive intimacy (Veronica); sex with love (Arti); initial membership
in different families (Clifford); respect (Michelle and others).
Steve related Kant's view of marriage (as an agreement to exchange ownership
of each other's sexual organs) to several of the views expressed. Alex
added that Hegel supplements this with the need for a social context. Louisa
agreed with Kant (that love is not an essential element in marriage) and
with Hegel (that the social context is important). Roy pointed out that
the philosophical justification of marriage provided by such past philosophers
cannot be entirely sufficient for our situation, because the availability
of effective contraception adds a new social factor that these philosophers
never had to deal with.
Michelle concluded the meeting by saying she is wiser now (as a result of her past experience and/or our discussion?), clarifying that she is not against marriage, and confirming that she looks forward to a marriage based on love and shared values.
++++++++++++
Topics suggested for future meetings were: physical vs. emotional attraction
(Alex); what is philosophy? (Steve); money--not enough? (Evelyn); and differences
between men and women (Arti). Steve suggested that, although it is good
to have successive topics that are indirectly related to each other, we
should beware of having too many of our initial meetings on "relationships"
issues. With that in mind, Roy suggested "freedom". All agreed that this
topic would be interesting, and could perhaps be related in some way to
the issue of attraction. The date for the next meeting was set for Tuesday,
2 November. We will try meeting next time in the back room at the Open
Kitchen (past the hot food counter), which should be a bit quieter.
| Back to Caldwell Main Menu |
|
| Posted with permission of the author. Hi-Tech Development Co., Ltd., 1999. All rights reserved. |