Dream Forge Demo 1995 February/df9502r.zip/DFG

Text File | 1995-02-01 | 18KB | 407 lines

A FATHER'S LOVE
  by Karen Williams


  Shannon watched the boy she was babysitting, as he sat on the
floor too close to the tv. She wanted to tell him he was too close
to the tv, but she couldn't find the energy to tell him. He laughed
at a cartoon he was watching. She wondered how this little boy could
laugh, knowing in a few hours his father would be home from work. She
looked at Philip sadly, trying to figure a way to tell him she
wouldn't be able to babysit him after tonight.

  Philip turned to Shannon. She was looking at him, but it seemed
as if she didn't really notice he was sitting there. He sat too
close to the tv on purpose, because he knew it irritated her. He knew
she would get him to sit on the couch next to her. He loved the way
she disciplined him. She never yelled at him, and she never lost her
patience when she helped him with his homework. He looked at her
sadly, wondering why she hadn't gotten on him about sitting too
close to the tv.

  "Philip," Shannon said.

  A big grin came over his face, he knew now she would make him sit
next to her.

  "Come here, I want to talk to you."

  The grin left the boys face. Normally by now she would have
tickled him until he could barely breathe. They both would be
laughing so hard. Then she would pick him up and swing him around a
few times and plop him on to the sofa. After that, she would tell
him he was sitting too close to the tv. This was different, she
never asked him to come over there. It was always a game, and today,
it didn't seem much like a game at all.

  He got up slowly, and sat on the couch next to her. She looked sad.

  "What's the matter." he asked her.

  "Well, I wanted to tell you something very important. You know how
every day I pick you up after school?"

  "Yeah, you always pick me up in your parents station wagon, and then
you come home with me and take care of me until he comes home."

  Shannon knew Philip meant his father when he said "he". Philip
hadn't called his father "dad" since the day his mother died, three
years ago.

  "Well," she put her hand on his shoulder, "I won't be able to watch
you anymore."

  Philip's eyes started to water, and his face turned down. He didn't
say anything for a few minutes.

  "Philip, it's not you. I just can't do it anymore."

  He looked up at her, "It's because of him, isn't it."

  Shannon nodded slowly. She felt so sorry for this little boy, and
if she had been old enough, she would take him and run away so he
could be taken care of. When she left tonight, she planned to go home
and call Social Services; she couldn't stand the way Philip's dad
treated him, and knew it was time for him to be reported.

  Philip screamed. "I hate him. I hate him," then he started crying
hysterically.

  Shannon pulled the boy close to her and rocked him until his crying
subsided. She wished there was more she could do for him, but this
was the only thing she could think of.

  Every night, when Philip's dad came home, he would find some
sort of fault with his son. If Philip had a test and only missed one,
his father would yell at him for missing one. If Philip had gotten
everything correct on the test, his father would yell at him for
writing sloppy. Whatever Philip did, it was never good enough for
his dad. Day after day, Shannon would see Philip go deeper and deeper
into his own world.

  Shannon picked him up after school, and each day it would take
longer for him to open up to her. At first, she thought she could
help him, but she realized it was only an idle thought. What would
a 16 year-old high school student be able to do about an 8 year-old
boy and his father? She asked herself that everyday, until she
finally decided the emotional abuse his father put him through was
too much for him to handle.

  When Shannon put Philip to bed at night, she normally didn't
have any problems getting him to sleep. A few hours later, she
would have to go into his room and calm him down after a nightmare.
He would wake up screaming sometimes, and she would end up crying
with him, as he told her about his father. Every night, after
Shannon left, his father would wake him up -- and just nag him --
put him down about anything.

  If his bedroom was messy, Philip would have to wake up at one or
two in the morning and clean it until his father was satisfied. If
Philip left a spot of toothpaste in the sink, he would have to wake
up and clean the whole bathroom no matter what time it was. Shannon
made sure everything was perfect before his father would get home,
but still, Philip would have to wake up to either talk to his dad
about school, or some other reason. Philip now took an hour nap after
school to catch up on sleep, and at 7:00, Shannon put him to bed,
just so he would have enough energy to do as his father asked at 2:00
or 3:00 in the morning.

  Tonight would be different. When Shannon got home, she would call
Social Services. Tonight, Philip would get a full night's rest.

  Philip looked up at Shannon, "Will I ever see you again?"

  "Yes, I promise, I'll see you again. And I want you to write to
me. I'll give you my address, and I want you to write to me every
time you need someone to talk to."

  "Who'll be watching me now?"

  "I don't know, I'll have to tell your dad tonight that I can't do
it anymore, and he'll have to find someone else."

  "I sure wish you didn't have to go." he said sadly.

  "Me too. But I do think you need to get in bed. It's after 7:00,
and we want to make sure you're rested up for school tomorrow."

  Shannon went down the hall into Philip's room. She sat on the
bed as Philip went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get his
pajamas on. Philip's room had everything a boy could want. She
wondered if his dad thought this would make up for the love he didn't
give his son.

  Shannon could hear the water running and the sounds of Philip
brushing his teeth. She thought back to the first time she watched
Philip. When he first told her of how his father treated him, she
didn't believe it. His dad had always been nice to her, and to his
son whenever she was around. But then she noticed, Philip was sleepy
all the time, had no energy, and he hardly ever smiled. Something
changed in her when she noticed this. She normally just watched TV
and let the kids eat junk food whenever she babysat. With Philip,
she would make a well balanced meal for his dinner, make him take
vitamins, let him watch only thirty minutes of TV, and the rest of
the time they spent reading, playing games or just talking.

  Philip came into the bedroom and Shannon tucked him into bed. She
continued reading the story she had started the night before and
didn't stop until she finished the story. She bent down to kiss him
on the top of his head, and found tears forming in her eyes. She knew
she would miss Philip, but she didn't realize it would be this much.
He was like a brother to her, someone she was supposed to protect and
care for. She missed him already.

  She whispered, "Sleep tight," into his ear.

  He reached up and hugged her and said sleepily, "I love you."

  Shannon sat on the edge of his bed, tears rolling down her
cheeks, until he fell asleep. After she was sure he was sleeping
soundly, she went into the kitchen and cleaned up the dinner dishes.
Then she went through the house making sure everything was in perfect
shape. She checked the bathroom for toothpaste, and picked a few toys
up off of his floor. She smiled to herself and said aloud, "There you
go jerk, find something wrong with this house tonight."

  She sat on the sofa and flipped the remote control until she
came across a movie she wanted to watch. She watched it, but when
the movie was over, she found she couldn't remember a thing about
what she had just watched. She heard a key turn in the door,
and her heart started beating. It beat so loudly she was afraid
Philip's dad would hear it, and sense her fear of him.

  Mr. Japhy walked in into the tv room, put his briefcase down on
the coffee table and loosened his tie.

  "Shannon, how was Philip today?"

  "Oh, he was great Mr. Japhy," she said, her heart beating even
louder. She knew she would have to tell him soon, and then leave as
quickly as she could.

  "That's good," he said absent-mindedly, sitting down and shuffling
through papers in his briefcase.

  Shannon stood up, "Well, I have to go now. Um, Mr. Japhy . . . ."

  He looked up at her, "Yes?"

  "I, um . . .  I can't watch Philip anymore," she stammered, trying
to get it out before she could change her mind.

  "That's a shame, he really seems to like you watching him. Is it
more money? I can pay you more. You take very good care of him."

  Shannon looked down, "No, I just can't."

  Mr. Japhy was stubborn, "There must be a reason, just tell me. I'm
sure we can come up with a new price."

  Shannon started getting hot with anger. He thought he could buy
anything.

  "No, I can't watch Philip anymore because of you, I can't bear the
way you treat your son. You're killing him. You're making him older
than he is. You're making him unhappy, and unable to be with other
people. You're ruining his life. I can't stand it, and I can't watch
you do it any more." She blurted out before she could stop herself.

  Mr. Japhy sat with his mouth open, unable to speak for a few
seconds. Then his face turned red, and his eyes hard. He stood up
and yelled, "How dare you come into my house and tell me I'm raising
my son wrong. I don't need to take this from a stupid little girl."

  Shannon grabbed her school books and ran out the front door, not
even collecting her last pay from watching Philip. She ran to her
car slammed the door and drove home feeling more anger than she
had ever felt in her entire life.

  The next few days Shannon went to school, but couldn't think of
anything but Philip and his dad. She wondered how Philip was doing,
and wanted to see him after school to make sure he was okay. She felt
as if she had lost part of her own family. She hadn't heard anything
from Social Services, and wondered if they had done anything at all
about Mr. Japhy.

  Finally, Shannon decided she would meet Philip after school
before his new sitter came to pick him up. She just had to see how he
was doing. She drove to his school, and waited outside the door he
usually walked out of. She was anxious to hear how the last few days
had been. She heard a bell ring, and soon saw hundreds of kids burst
out the doors, running and laughing towards the buses. She looked
frantically for Philip, and his usual unhappy face. But couldn't find
him anywhere.

  When the school had cleared out, she drove home, wondering if she
had done the right thing by reporting Mr. Japhy to Social Services.
When she pulled into her driveway, she saw Mr. Japhy's car parked
outside her house. She started getting worried, she hadn't told her
parents about reporting Mr.Japhy to Social Services, and wondered
why he was here. She hesitated.

  When she got in the house she saw her mom and Mr. Japhy sitting
at the kitchen table. When her mom saw her, she stood up and walked
towards her.

  "Shannon, Mr. Japhy is here, and he wants to talk to you about
Philip."

  Shannon nodded, and her mother walked up the stairs leaving
them alone to talk. She stared at the floor waiting for Mr. Japhy to
explode.

  "Do you know where Philip is?" he asked her. There was a strain
in his voice that didn't match his normal calm and in-control tone
of voice.

  "No, what happened?" she asked worriedly, almost forgetting what a
monster he could be.

  "He's missing. He wasn't at school today, and the new sitter
couldn't find him after school. Some toys are missing from his room,
a few clothes, and his toothbrush. I thought he might come here."

  "I haven't seen him, why would you think he'd come here."

  "We fought when you left. He told me he hated me, and said he
wanted to live with you. If you know where he is, please tell me.
I promise I won't take it out on you. I just want my boy back."

  Shannon got angry, "You want your boy back? What about the way
Philip feels, you've destroyed him. I don't blame him for running."

  "I just want him back!"

  "You don't deserve him. He's much to good for you."

  "Give me my son back," he said weakly.

  "I don't have him, and if I did, I wouldn't tell *you* where
he was!"

   Mr. Japhy stood up, "You don't understand what it's like to
raise a boy by yourself. I don't want him to depend on anyone. I
don't want him to put his life in anyone's hands. He's got to be
able to not feel the pain of a broken heart."

  "What're you talking about. He's an 8 year-old boy. Why would you
want him to *not* know what love is."

  "Look, since my wife died . . ." he started sobbing, "please help
me find my son."

  "You don't understand, he won't be found unless he wants to be
found."

  "I love my son, I need him."

  "Have you ever told him you loved him? Have you ever told him
you were proud of him? Have you ever told him you needed him? Did
you know that your son doesn't have any friends. He doesn't know how
to talk to other kids."

  Mr. Japhy looked at her. His eyes were tired and sad. He shook
his head.

  "You need to tell him you love him. You need to show him you love
him."

  "How?"

  "By letting him be an 8 year-old kid." she said.

  "Please, show me how, please help me get my son back," he begged.

  Shannon looked at Mr. Japhy, not believing the conversation they
were having. She felt as if she were the parent, and he were the
child. She couldn't imagine a father having this much love for a son
and at the same time -- not knowing *how* to love his son.

  "Go home, I'll be there in a little bit," she said, and then
walked out of the house.

  She drove around, looking for a sign, knowing Philip would be
somewhere that she knew. She knew Philip wanted her to find him.
As she drove, it came to her. She knew where Philip was.

  She remembered Philip telling her how he wanted to live in the
woods. He wanted to be a boy scout to learn to eat and live off
the land. He wanted to build a log cabin. They talked and joked
about it the whole day. She remembered how his eyes shined when he
talked about it. It was something he really wanted.

  Shannon pulled up to the entrance of the State Park. It was
wooded and beautiful. She drove along the path, and parked by the
edge of the lake. She walked the paths in the woods for an hour, and
came across a small clearing. In the middle was a tent -- sort of --
made from twigs and fallen branches. It looked shabby, and Shannon
knew, this was the log cabin Philip tried to build. She sat down on a
rock and waited. A few minutes later -- she heard leaves rustling and
an occasional twig snapping -- Philip walked into the clearing. When
he saw her, a smile broke on his sullen face. He ran towards her and
hugged her.

  "You came. YOU CAME!" he shouted.

  Shannon smiled, "Yes, but now I need to talk to you."

  "What's the matter?"

  "I talked to your dad, and he is really worried about you."

  A frown clouded the smile that was on his face. "I don't care,
he doesn't love me."

  "He said he's going to change, and be nicer. He's going to love
you the way you need to be loved."

  His face softened. "Do you believe him?"

  Shannon nodded, "Yes I do, and I am going to help."

  Philip gathered his things. He took Shannon's hand, and they walked
to her car.

  When they got to Philip's house, Philip followed slowly behind
her, afraid to get near his father. Mr. Japhy sat on the sofa, and
stood up when he saw them. He then kneeled on the floor holding his
arms out waiting for his son to come to him. Shannon nudged Philip
in his direction, and soon, Philip was running towards his father.
They embraced. Mr. Japhy cried to his son how much he loved him, and
told him how sorry he was. Shannon's eyes filled with tears because
she had never seen Mr. Japhy hug his son.

  For the next few weeks, Shannon went to Philip's every day after
school, and spent time with Mr. Japhy and Philip. She didn't
interfere, but gave Mr. Japhy knowing looks when he started becoming
impatient with his son. She hoped he would change for the better, and
never treat his son the way he had in the past.

                               *  *  *

  After not seeing Philip for over a month, Shannon called Mr. Japhy
asking if she could take his son out for ice cream after school. Mr.
Japhy agreed. He told her he had changed his work hours so he could
pick up his son after school and spend time with him. Shannon hoped
Philip was as happy as Mr. Japhy bragged.

  Shannon stood near the door of the school, waiting for Philip. A
few minutes later, she saw him. The main reason she didn't recognize
him immediately, was because he was dressed the same as the kids who
surrounded him, and his face was filled with a smile. He was proudly
wearing a Cub Scout uniform, and smiling like she had never seen.

                               {DREAM}

Copyright 1994 Karen Williams, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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She was born in Anchorage, Alaska but spent most of her youth in
Europe; graduating from Brussels American High School in 1987. Then
joined the Air Force, meeting her husband in Minot, North Dakota,
where they married. Now living in Rio Rancho, New Mexico with her
husband and two beautiful children. Karen can be reached at The
PRECINCT BBS, Fido: 1:301/12, 505-892-2422.
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