home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
Shareware Overload
/
ShartewareOverload.cdr
/
games
/
mega31.zip
/
MEGA31.DOC
< prev
next >
Wrap
Text File
|
1991-07-30
|
17KB
|
389 lines
█ █▐███ ██ ██ █████ ██▐████ █████ ██▐███ █▐███ ██▐███ █▌████
█ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██
█ ██ ██ ██ ██▐████ ██ ██ ██▐████ ██▐███ ██ ██ ██▐█ ██
█ ██ ▀██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██
█ █▐███ █▐███ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██ ██▐███ █▐███ ██ ██
Software for your Iguana
- PRESENTS -
MEGACOUNT
version 3.1
(c) Copyright 1990,1991 IguanaSoft
-----------------------
Warranty and Disclaimer
-----------------------
The authors make no warranties, expressed or implied,
as to the quality or performance of this program. The
author will not be held liable for any direct, indirect,
incidental or consequential damages resulting from the use
of this program. Your use of this program constitutes
your agreement to this disclaimer and your release of the
author from any form of liability or litigation. Besides,
lawsuits are for weenies.
┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ SECTION ONE: Introduction to MegaCount │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
At the dawn of time...well, not exactly the dawn. It was
more like late morning, but that's not really important.
During the late morning of time, a Roman legionary by the
name of Clavius was given an important task. He was put
in charge of 10,000 men, three horses and a freshly
painted chariot. The chariot was light blue with lovely
green pinstripes. With this small but potent task force,
he was to lie in ambush for the approaching enemy in order
to defend a nearby town, important for its strategic
position.
"Clavius," instructed his Centurion, "hide your men and
horses in this grove of trees. When you hear the enemy
approaching, count to yourself and then order the ambush."
"But Centurion," protested Clavius, "What number should I
count to?"
"It doesn't matter." snapped the Centurion, who had more
pressing matters to attend to, "pick something nice and
round."
So Clavius waited in ambush, listening for the sounds of
the enemy's approach. Soon, he heard the sounds of their
heavy boots marching over the hill. Nervously, he tried
to remember his instructions. "Count.." he thought,
"count to something round."
Unfortunately for Clavius, and eventually for Rome, his
number of choice was 1 million. Worse yet, he counted in
Roman Numerals. The enemy passed by unchecked, and
Clavius was often distracted by the sounds of their
horses riding past. He had to start over several times.
Many of Clavius's men died of boredom, and the three
horses soon evolved to a higher level of intelligence,
whereupon they decided to head for warmer weather and
start up a car rental agency.
As for Rome, the great Empire collapsed into ruin as the
barbarian hordes sacked it mercilessly. One can only
wonder how Rome might have prospered had Clavius been in
posession of a personal computer and a copy of
IguanaSoft's MegaCount.
***
The cruel, hot sun pounded down upon the three starving
men, and their portly pet pig, Pete. They had been
shipwrecked for three weeks with little to eat or drink,
save some trail mix, and with Pete eating more than his
fair share, their food supplies soon dwindled.
"Well," said one of the men quite suddenly as he produced
a large carving knife, "time to partition our portly pet
pig, Pete."
The other two men pretended to look shocked that the first
should suggest the murder of their pet pig, but the drool
forming at the corners of their mouths gave their true
feelings away.
An eerie silence came over the group, and the only sounds
to be heard were the waves lapping against the side of
their makeshift raft.
"Wait!" squealed Pete as the hunger-crazed men encircled
him, revealing his before unmentioned talent of human
speech, "Grant me at least a final request."
His three companions, partly filled with compassion for
their pet, and partly dumbfounded by his ability to speak
English, found it hard to come up with much more than a
simple response.
"Ok."
"Count to a million, and then you can eat me." said Pete.
Again, the strangeness of the situation, compounded with
the odd request, confused the hungry trio.
"Ok."
Four days later, the three men lay unconcious on the raft,
victims of heat exhaustion and starvation. The raft,
driven by the prevailing currents, washed up upon the
clean and inviting beaches of Alvonia, the mythical lost
island of six-foot blonde love maidens.
Pete plopped over the port and gave a firm push on the
raft, sending it back into the ocean. He then waddled off
into the sunset to gorge himelf on the island fruits and
investigate the validity to these myths about the love
maidens.
***
Counting has always been a relatively simple task. It
usually doesn't require any expensive props or complex
mathematical formulas. As little children, one of the
first things we were taught was to count from one to ten.
We counted everything we could get our fingers on: the
number of flowers in the garden, the number of ducks in
the pond, the number of hours that daddy was late on
important "business meetings." (Mommy helped us with that
one)
As we got older, we began to count larger and larger
numbers. Soon enough, these numbers became too large to
count in our heads. We began to make use of pencil and
paper, and eventually calculators.
But the really big numbers these days are counted by
computers. And what better way to count to one million
than by using this computer technology? That's why
IguanaSoft released MegaCount, version 1.0 in 1990...to
celebrate a new decade: a decade of counting.
MegaCount went over well. Thousands of unforseen uses
were discovered, and the results were of a univeral scale
of greatness, to say the absolute least. We even released
a second version a few months later, and it was even more
bitchin' then it's predecessor. But we at IguanaSoft
weren't happy with perfection: we needed to build upon it.
Therefore, with the traditional pomp and circumstance,
we're pleased to present:
┌───────────────┐
│ │
───────────┤ MEGACOUNT ├───────────
│ version 3.1 │
│ │
└───────────────┘
┌───────────────────────────────┐
│ SECTION TWO: Using MegaCount │
└───────────────────────────────┘
MegaCount, version 3.1 is the easiest-to-use IguanaSoft
program to date. It supercedes versions 1.0 and 2.0 in
ease of use by a mile. It's so damn easy it makes you
want to jump for joy. "So why is the program
documentation about eight times as long?" you ask.
Smartass.
Honestly, MegaCount 3.1 is fairly self-explanatory in
operation, and is completely Mouse-Happy. If for some
reason, your mouse does not operate correctly with
MegaCount 3.1, then it is quite obvious that it's your
mouse that is broken, and we don't want to hear about it.
Of course, you don't have to have a mouse to get full
enjoyment out of MegaCount...that's because Megacount uses
IguanaWindows, which can be manipulated using the mouse or
the keyboard.
There are two important new IguanaSoft features in
Megacount, version 3.1. They are Invisible Windows and
AnnoyWare. Invisible Windows, when turned on, causes
completely transparent windows to pop up at random
intervals while MegaCount is active. These windows do not
affect program operation in any way. In fact, you can
ignore them completely if you like. AnnoyWare is a
complex set of really annoying features which are
discussed in detail later in the manual. It suffices to
say that you may want to turn AnnoyWare OFF after a couple
of tries.
┌───────────────────────────────────┐
│ SECTION THREE: MegaCount Features │
└───────────────────────────────────┘
MegaCount, version 3.1 is feature-rich when compared to
its ancestors. Earlier versions of this amazing counting
program allowed for only one method of counting: Forward.
The program only counted from 1 to 1 million, in that
order. Many users found that quite limiting.
The simple fact is that many real life situations demand a
different order of counting. An obvious instance is
reverse, or backward counting, from 1 million down to 1.
This method, overlooked in versions 1 and 2, is now an
important part of version 3.
Two other counting modes are included to increase your
counting productivity. They are Random and Voodoo.
Random counts all the numbers from 1 to 1 million, but in
no particular order. Voodoo Counting calls upon the
Haitian Spirit Fark'Nor, who does the counting for you,
using your computer and MegaCount as a medium. IguanaSoft
does not recommend using this feature during the early
morning hours, as Fark'Nor tends to get upset when woken
from his slumber.
┌───────────────────────────────┐
│ SECTION FOUR: About AnnoyWare │
└───────────────────────────────┘
AnnoyWare exists simply to annoy the user. Keep this in
mind if you plan to use it. AnnoyWare has been built in
to MegaCount, version 3.1. There are 7 different
AnnoyWare routines included, all of which can be extremely
annoying.
We don't want to give too much away...it's much more fun
to see for yourself. AnnoyWare is automatically turned on
when MegaCount starts. To turn it off, simply select the
Set Options choice from the Main Menu. Then select the
Off switch in the "Annoy" Box, either with your mouse or
by pressing the spacebar when "Off" is higlighted.
┌───────────────────────────────┐
│ SECTION FIVE: Troubleshooting │
└───────────────────────────────┘
No matter how easy a program is to use, there are bound to
be a few problems for some people. We at IguanaSoft
understand this, and therefore, we have included this
section to help you with a few more common problems.
Q: How can I turn that annoying beeping sound off?
A: Even though the beeping during the actual Counting
portion of the program is not AnnoyWare, it can be
turned off. Select SET OPTIONS from the Main Menu, and
then select Off in the Sound Box.
Q: My screen is blank, and my computer is strangely quiet.
What is the problem?
A: Turn your computer and monitor on.
Q: I can't see the invisible windows. Why is that?
A: They're invisible. Nobody can see them.
Q: I am feeling very depressed. My girlfriend dumped me
last week, and I might lose my job. What can I do?
A: Register your copy of MegaCount. It will make you feel
much better.
Q: Occasionally, a tiny elf pops right out of my screen
and identifies himself as "Mumboz, Guardian of the Holy
Pancake." What does this mean?
A: This sometimes happens to IguanaSoft's programming team
when they've been up way too late at night in front of
their computers. Get some rest, and don't tell anybody
about this. It doesn't look good.
┌──────────────────────────────┐
NEW! NEW! │ SECTION SIX: About BeerWare │ NEW! NEW!
└──────────────────────────────┘
MegaCount, Version 3.1 is not free. We worked long and
hard on it, and we got very thirsty while writing it.
In the past, BeerWare asked that you send us beer in
order to register the program. Unfortunately, we found
that this wasn't exactly working out.
Now, here at IguanaSoft, we're certainly not selfish, so
we've redefined the concept of BeerWare.
Simply put, you can now register your program merely by
consuming a cold brew in our honor. That's right: just
head down to your local liquor store and pick up a
six-pack of your favorite brand of beer. Then kick back,
pop it open and enjoy. Of course, we at IguanaSoft do
not endorse alcohol consumption by minors, and we urge
you to drink responsibly. Know when to say when. And
please, don't use IguanaSoft programs while driving,
operating heavy machinery, or while listening to Barry
Manilow records.
To complete the registration process, please let us know
exactly how much you enjoyed IguanaSoft's BirdCall and
your cold beer. You can reach us in one of two ways:
1) Call us. We can be found on The Razor's Edge BBS, the
home of IguanaSoft. Leave a message in the IguanaSoft
Conference, along with your name and address, and we'll
send you a registration code. If you don't want to make
your address public, then leave a comment to the Sysop,
or register using option 2 (below).
THE RAZOR'S EDGE BBS - (617) 786-8282
PCBoard 14.5 1200/2400 baud
Located in beautiful and historic Quincy, MA.
Note: The Razor's Edge BBS is a free public service, and
maintains no connections to IguanaSoft, other than being
a place where the programmers tend to hang out and answer
questions and comments. They also hang out in the Sysop's
basement and imbibe tremendous amounts of beer, but
they'll never admit it.
2) Write us. Our mailbox has been empty these days.
Send a postcard with your name and address, and we'll
send you your registration code along with a nifty little
IguanaSoft newsletter.
IGUANASOFT
1419 Commonwealth Ave.
Apt. #504
Brighton, MA 02135
┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
│ SECTION SEVEN: The Razor's Edge BBS │
└─────────────────────────────────────┘
The Razor's Edge BBS is the home of IguanaSoft. It is
populated by a happy community of everyday normal people
who take time out from their ordinary lives to act
slightly insane over their modems. It's no surprise that
IguanaSoft was conceived while one user was online.
If you'd like to learn more about IguanaSoft, or if you
just want to converse with a bunch of friendly folks, give
The Razor's Edge a call:
The Razor's Edge BBS (2400 Baud)
PCBoard 14.5
(617) 783-1490
"May the iguanas run free."