Monster Media 1993 #2/Image.iso/text/howmind.zip/HOWMIND.DOC

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                            How the Mind Works
                      and How To Make It Work Better




                                    by




                                  Pitsost



                               Introduction


            As the title suggests, this book is about how the human
        mind works, and how to make it work better. "Better", in
        this case, really means the way it is designed to work.
        Making it work better means recognizing and eliminating
        certain mistakes in the way people think about their minds
        and use them.
            Each chapter of this book starts with an explanation of
        how the mind usually behaves. This is followed by an
        explanation of a more effective way to use the mind. Each
        chapter then ends with some exercises designed to help the
        reader get back on track with using the mind the way it is
        designed to be used. The exercises at the end of each
        chapter will take most people about a week to get the hang
        of. You will benefit most if you stick with the exercises
        in one chapter until you at least get some experience with
        them and get the feel of doing them before you go on to the
        next chapter. When you do go on to another chapter and
        start the exercises in that chapter, you will benefit from
        continuing to do the exercises from all preceding chapters.
        In fact, you will continue to benefit from doing the
        exercises for the rest of your life. This is because the
        "exercises" actually consist of using your mind the way it
        is designed to be used.
            Do not be discouraged if the exercises seem difficult or
        unfamiliar. They will work if you keep at them long enough
        and diligently enough. The work will be very rewarding if
        you stick with it. It can give you an inner freedom and
        peace that you have never experienced before.


                                Chapter 1

                            Parts of the Mind



            It is a common misconception that the human mind is all
        one thing. That the thoughts, emotions, sensations,
        awareness, and other aspects of the mind are all one
        inseparable mass. In reality, the mind is made up of
        several distinct functions. Recognizing the separateness of
        these functions of the mind and working with them can
        greatly benefit the individual. I wish to emphasize here
        that this separateness of the parts of the mind is not just
        a semantic tool for purposes of describing the mind. The
        separateness exists, and failure to recognize and maintain
        this separateness can lead to problems for the individual.
            Figure 1.1 shows a diagram of some of the parts of the
        mind, shown pictorially as being inside the head.
            The first part of the mind is the awareness. This is
        the part of the mind that is the real you, the real being.
        To get an idea of what awareness is, a simple experiment
        might be useful. Pick any object in the room. A rather
        dull, uninteresting object works best. Look at this object.
        Take in this object. Some might say mediate on it. Do not
        "think about it." Do not compare it with other objects,
        evaluate it, or draw any conclusions about it. If any
        thoughts come into the mind, ignore them. Just be aware of
        the object, its color, shape, location, and so on, for
        about a minute. Let your mind be blank except for your
        awareness of the object's existence. This is the pure
        awareness (or at least as close as we can come in a simple
        exercise).
            The second part of the mind is what we will call the
        intellectual center. This is where information is stored.
        When information comes into the awareness through the
        senses and the awareness accepts this information as true,
        the awareness puts this information into the intellectual
        center. Figure 1.2 shows this process. In this picture, the
        eye is used to represent the senses. However, the
        information can come through any of the senses.
            The intellectual center is not just a passive
        collection of facts, however. When the awareness puts a
        piece of information into the intellectual center, this
        center compares it with other information already stored
        there. When it finds other information related to the new
        piece of information, it sends the related information back
        to the awareness. This is what is called associations. This
        is shown in figure 1.3. The awareness is then supposed to
        look at this information and be aware of which of these
        pieces of information are relevant to the current


                                     1
        situation. That "supposed to" is the big catch, as I will
        discuss shortly.
            There are two types of information. The first is pure
        statements of fact, like "The sky is blue" or "Things fall
        down." The second type of information is a value judgement,
        such as "This is good" or "This is desirable" or "This is
        bad." You could say that the two types of information are
        "What is" and "What is valuable."
            This second type of information is where the third part
        of the mind, the emotional center, comes in. When
        information on the value of things is put into the
        intellectual center, it is also put into the emotional
        center. The information on what is valuable can come into
        the awareness directly from the senses, or can come up from
        the intellectual center as a result of an association. (See
        Figure 1.4.) The emotional center also comes with some
        preprogrammed information at birth, such as "Pain is
        undesirable."
            The emotional center, like the intellectual center, is
        not passive. It also sends messages back to the awareness.
        These messages are in the form of emotions or feelings.
        (There is a difference between emotions and feelings, which
        we will go into much later.)
            The fourth part of the mind is the action center. When
        both types of information, what is and what is valuable,
        about a situation go to the awareness and the awareness
        accepts both of them as true, a decision is put into the
        action center. (Figure 1.5.) A decision consists partly of
        facts from the intellectual center and partly of energy
        from the emotional center. Once a decision is put into the
        action center, action takes place (seems appropriate,
        doesn't it?).
            Lets take a simple example. Suppose you stick your hand
        in a fire. Your senses provide your awareness with a piece
        of data: Fire causes pain. Your emotional center provides
        your awareness with a value judgement: Pain is undesirable,
        and should be avoided. This puts into the action center a
        decision: Remove the hand from the fire. This decision is
        acted on rather quickly.
            Now let us say that some years after your experience
        with the fire, you observe (through your senses) that the
        building you are in is on fire. This information goes from
        the senses to the awareness, which puts this information
        into the intellectual center. The intellectual center does
        its duty, which is to send back to the awareness any
        related information. One of these pieces of information,
        recorded when you put your hand in the fire, is that fire
        causes pain. Again, the emotional center reports that pain
        is bad. (By the way, when the emotional center first
        reported this to the awareness, the awareness probably also
        stored this in the intellectual center, so the intellectual
        center is also reporting that pain is bad.) The awareness


                                     2
        makes the decision to leave the building, this decision is
        automatically put into the action center, and the action is
        carried out (again, rather quickly if possible).
            This is the way it is supposed to work. However,
        trouble can develop when the awareness does not do its job
        of being aware of the nature of the thoughts (information
        from the intellectual center) and feelings and emotions
        (coming from the emotional center). The trouble comes when
        the awareness forgets that the thoughts and feelings and
        emotions are information being presented to it. The
        awareness sometimes (often) forgets its own separateness
        from these. When this happens, the awareness is said to be
        identified with these thoughts and feelings and emotions.
        When one feels anger or fear coming from the emotional
        center, one says "I am angry" or "I am afraid" rather than
        that one feels these emotions. When one feels sadness or
        happiness, one says "I am sad" or "I am happy." The
        awareness thinks that it is these things, rather than that
        it is feeling (experiencing) these sensations.
            Likewise, the awareness believes that it is the
        thoughts that are presented to it by the intellectual
        center, rather than that these thoughts are information and
        suggestions being presented to it for evaluation. When this
        happens, the awareness tends to accept these suggestions as
        fact, and send this information to the action center
        immediately. When this has been happening long enough,
        thoughts and emotions can enter the awareness and be passed
        on to the action center so fast (since awareness is no
        longer making any attempt to really look at them) that
        awareness does not even see them. The process becomes
        automatic. Some would say that the awareness goes to sleep,
        or becomes mechanical. A psychiatrist would normally say
        that the person is acting subconsciously.
            Let's take a simple example of this, going back to our
        person that put his hand in the fire. We discussed the fact
        that such a person would quickly flee from a burning
        building. (Of course, almost anyone would do this even if
        they had never been burned personally, since they have been
        told the importance of such action, but we will get to that
        later.) Now suppose that such a person walked into a room
        with a fire in the fireplace. If the awareness is not
        active, the thoughts "There is a fire" and "I must flee
        from a fire" could flow from the intellectual center
        through the awareness into the emotional center and the
        action center. The person could experience fear (from the
        emotional center) and flee from the building (the action
        center at work). The person is often said to have a phobia
        of fire. However, if the awareness is paying attention, it
        will see that the thought "I must flee from a fire" is
        merely a suggestion sent to the awareness by the
        intellectual center, based on previous experience. The
        awareness will then look at the situation more closely,


                                     3
        gather more information, and see that the fire is properly
        contained and safe. If it experiences fear from the
        emotional center, it will be aware that this is simply a
        sensation coming into the awareness. It will see that this
        sensation will soon pass, and does not need to be acted on.
        The decision to flee is not put into the action center, and
        the person can remain in the room and enjoy both the fire
        and the other activities going on in the room.
            This has been an admittedly simplistic example. It is
        intended just to illustrate the differences between the
        workings of an active awareness and an inactive awareness.
        Better examples will follow in later chapters. For now,
        practice with the concept of this separation of the parts
        of the mind can be valuable.
            As an exercise, imagine this separateness of the parts
        of the mind. Visualize yourself as the awareness inside
        your own head. Visualize two objects below you that
        represent the intellectual center and the emotional center.
        (It is not necessary to visualize the action center.) The
        intellectual center will be sending you thoughts. Picture
        this center as something that you can easily associate with
        sending you messages. Some people find it easiest to
        picture this as a ticker tape machine with messages
        streaming out of it, or as one of those signs that form
        moving words out of lights, or as a TV or computer screen
        with words moving across it. Some people find it most
        useful to imagine it as some type of mechanical device like
        a catapult, flinging thoughts written on little pieces of
        paper or pictures on pieces of paper up to the awareness to
        look at. Some people who tend to think verbally rather than
        visually find it easiest to think of it as a tape recorder
        playing back verbal suggestions. Some people find it
        easiest to think of it as a person or even a demon of some
        kind whispering (or shouting) instructions at you. If you
        think of it as a person, I suggest that you make it a
        child, since most of the suggestions and information that
        will be coming from it were accepted when you were a child.
        This will help you not to take the suggestions too
        seriously. However you visualize the intellectual center,
        the valuable object of this exercise is to remember that
        all of these suggestions and information coming from it are
        just that. They may or may not be correct or appropriate
        from your current situation.
            The same goes for your emotional center. We have all
        experienced physical sensations with our physical bodies.
        Typical sensations might be the warmth of the sun on our
        faces, a blast of cold from an open door, or sensation of
        wetness as we get rained on. In this picture of yourself
        inside your head, see the emotional center as some object
        that sends sensations to you, like a barrel or well that
        sometimes sends up blasts of warm or cold air or sprays of
        water. (See Figure 1.6.) The valuable thing is to visualize


                                     4
        that these emotions are sensations that the awareness is
        being bathed in from the emotional center, not the
        awareness itself.
            As for the senses, visualize this little person (the
        awareness) that is you looking at the world through these
        senses, but not being the senses. You could imagine this
        little person looking at TV screens to see what the body is
        seeing, listening to sound over a speaker to hear what is
        coming from outside, and likewise experiencing the other
        senses through instruments of some kind. The idea is to
        view the senses as information.
            Let's do this exercise for about a week. For the next
        week, as much as you can, see every thought that comes into
        your awareness from your intellectual center as a piece of
        information, a piece of information that is separate from
        the awareness itself. Be aware that it may be correct or
        incorrect, but it is just a suggestion being shown to you
        by your intellectual center. This center is just doing its
        job of showing you memories that might be relevant to your
        current situation, based on its mechanism of association.
        When you feel a feeling or emotion (happiness, sadness,
        anger, fear, guilt, etc.), be aware that this is a
        sensation coming from the emotional center, and be aware of
        your separateness from it. Do not try to fight or resist
        the feeling, just be aware that you are feeling it, not
        being it.
            You will not be able to do this exercise 24 hours a
        day. It is very easy to get caught up in the thoughts and
        feelings as you rush about your daily activities. Do not be
        discouraged if you realize that you have been identified
        with your thoughts for a few hours. Just resume the process
        of being aware of your separateness from these thoughts and
        feelings. The benefits (the strenghtening of your
        awareness) are cumulative. If you are aware for 10 minutes
        one day and 5 minutes the next, you have gained a total of
        15 minutes of awareness, not lost 5 minutes from one day to
        the next.
            Take care to do this work as much as you can for the
        next week. After you have done this and gotten the hang of
        it a bit, we will discuss some specific thoughts to watch
        for and possibly reevaluate (in the next chapter). For now,
        practice, practice, practice.












                                     5

                                Chapter 2

                    Thinking in Absolutes and Extremes



                If you have been doing the recommended exercises
        for about a week, you have begun to experience the feeling
        of separateness from your thoughts and feelings and
        emotions. You have probably begun to notice that these
        thoughts and feelings and emotions no longer have quite as
        much of a grip on you as they once did. You may even have
        come to realize that all the things you "believe" and
        "know" are really just specific thoughts that you had
        previously stored in the intellectual center at a time when
        they seemed reasonable, and that each one of these thoughts
        may or may not be true in your current situation. A more
        detailed look at specific thoughts may now be useful.
                One of the problems with allowing the awareness to
        be asleep and automatically accept any thoughts sent up by
        the intellectual and emotional centers is that the first
        thoughts sent up by these centers is usually expressed in
        absolutes and extremes. When the senses report a situation
        to the awareness and the awareness sends this information
        to the intellectual center, this center immediately tries
        to compare the current situation with the closest related
        situation in memory. The intellectual center and the
        emotional center then often report the situation as being
        either BAD or GOOD, something that SHOULD or SHOULD NOT be.
         When the situation is valued as BAD, the intellectual
        center sends up the first and strongest association, which
        is usually something like "I've got to get out of this!" If
        the sleeping awareness passes this on to the action center,
        there is a strong feeling of urgency, fear, anger, and so
        on. The person does not evaluate the situation, look for
        alternatives, etc. The first thought to come into the
        awareness is usually very simplistic.
                Now suppose the awareness is awake and realizes
        that this simplistic, urgent thought is just a suggestion,
        one possible course of action. The awareness does not
        immediately send this suggestion to the action center. It
        can wait while other information comes up from the
        intellectual center. This information is usually less
        extreme, clearer, and offers more options.
                The first thing that the awareness may realize if
        it takes the time to get the whole picture is that the
        current situation is not really the same as that other
        situation that was so bad or good. For example, many people
        are afraid of having other people angry at us. This is
        because as a child, having someone (usually a parent) angry
        at us often was immediately followed by punishment.


                                     6
        Punishment to a child is very scary, so the intellectual
        center has the information stored that having someone mad
        at us is BAD, and something must be done about it. If the
        awareness does not immediately pass this previously made
        decision on to the action center, however, it may have time
        to see that it this particular case, you are in no
        immediate danger.
                Now suppose that in this particular case, the
        additional information that come from the intellectual
        center does reveal that the current situation is the same
        as the previous situation. Let us assume for the sake of
        discussion that the consequences of the current situation
        are quite likely to be the same as they were in the past.
        We can still take the time to evaluate how BAD this BAD is.
        That is, we do not have to immediately accept and act on
        the thought that we MUST do something about this situation.
        That thought too is just a decision that was made
        previously and stored in the intellectual and emotional
        centers. That thought too is just a suggestion being shown
        to the awareness.
                When we do not automatically accept that we must
        react to an unpleasant situation, the awareness can look at
        information (both from the senses and from knowledge stored
        in the intellectual center) on the pros and cons of acting
        on the current situation. Is it worth the shear effort
        involved in avoiding the unpleasantness? For example, if
        someone is displeased with you, is it really worth doing
        what you would have to do to please that person? Do you
        really care that much about that person's opinion? Is that
        person in a position where you need their approval (for
        example, your boss)? How much is it worth to you, both in
        shear effort and other personal sacrifices you would have
        to make, to have that person's approval? The same kind of
        evaluation can go into the decision regarding any
        unpleasantness, whether it is physical or emotional. The
        same kind of evaluation can go into deciding how much you
        are willing to do to gain a pleasant situation, as opposed
        to avoiding an unpleasant one.
                Assuming that we decide that the current situation
        is worth doing something about, we still do not have to
        automatically accept the first suggestion that comes up
        from the intellectual center telling us what to do about
        it. The first suggestion that comes into the awareness
        about how to handle the situation will often not be the
        best one for the the current circumstances. The first and
        strongest suggestion will often be a simplistic solution.
        Remember that the intellectual center is simply free
        associating with the information it is receiving. It will
        tend to come up with the simplest solution that may have
        worked in the past, usually in your childhood. If you do
        not identify with this first suggestion and act on it
        automatically (i.e. - if you remember your separateness


                                     7
        from your thoughts and treat them like suggestions), you
        will find that other, often more useful, suggestions will
        come into the awareness. We will discuss this subject more
        in the next chapter. For now, let's stick with the subject
        of this chapter, which is the tendency to think in extremes
        about the need to do something about the situation.
                It may be useful to look at a few of the extreme
        thoughts that sometimes come into the awareness, so that we
        can be on the lookout for them. Here are a few of the more
        common ones:
        I have to ...
        I must ...
        I must not ...
        I should ...
        I should not ...
        You should ...
        You should not ...
        I need ...
        ... is good.
        ... is bad.
                If you think about these carefully, you will see
        that these statements have no specific, real, definable
        meaning as they stand. What does it mean when you say "I
        have to" do something? What does it mean when you say "I
        need" something? By themselves, they literally mean
        nothing. Yet when one of these thoughts pops into a
        sleeping awareness (one that is not doing its job of seeing
        these thoughts as suggestions), it is immediately passed on
        to the action center as a decision, and you're off and
        running with a great sense of urgency.
                Many of these are actually incomplete thoughts. For
        example, "I have to ..." or "I must ..." really means that
        you need to do something in order to accomplish or prevent
        something. That is, it is a means to an end. For example,
        "I have to go to work." really means "I have to go to work
        in order to keep my current job and make money." Often it
        translates in the end into "I have to [insert unpleasant
        task here] to prevent [insert name of particularly scary
        person here] from being angry at me, or at least severely
        disapproving of me." Likewise, "I need ..." basically means
        that you require that object in order to achieve or obtain
        something that you want. For example, when a person says,
        "I need you." in a romantic situation, what they are really
        saying is that they need you to be with them and say you
        love them in order for them to feel happy/secure/fulfilled.
                Another commonly heard phrase that has no clearly
        defined meaning is "I should ..." or "I should not ..." or
        "You should ..." or "You should not .." In general, that
        things should be a certain way. Exactly what "should" means
        is seldom if ever clearly defined. This leads to
        considerable disagreement over what "should" be, often
        resulting in violence. For the sake of discussion here, let


                                     8
        us say that "should" means that if things are the way they
        should be and everyone does what they should do, an outcome
        that is particularly pleasant to the speaker will occur.
                When we say that something is bad, what we really
        mean is that it will result in some unpleasant situation.
        When we say that something is good, we really mean that it
        produces some pleasant or desirable situation or makes us
        feel happy.
                Now that we have a better handle on what these
        phrases mean, we can look at them more reasonably. When one
        of these thoughts pops into the awareness, we do not want
        to accept them as a final decision and pass them
        immediately on to the action center. We can be aware that
        they are poorly defined or incomplete thoughts, and look at
        them more carefully. For example, when a thought like "I
        have to ..." or "I must ..." or "I must not ..." pops into
        the awareness, we can look at what we hope to accomplish by
        doing what we "have to". We can evaluate just how valuable
        that desired end is. Is it really worth that effort? If it
        is worth the effort to go ahead and do it, is it really the
        end of the world if we somehow fail to do it? If we take
        the time to realize what it is we what to get out of it
        when we say "I have to ...", we can decide whether it is
        worth it to do this thing in this particular situation. If
        we decide that it is, we can still do it calmly and without
        panic, fully aware at all times that if for some reason we
        do not succeed, all that will happen is that we will not
        achieve the particular desired effect that we were striving
        for, and we will probably survive anyway.
                There is one particularly nice effect of examining
        the "have to" thoughts this was. If you look at what you
        "have to" do in terms of "If I do [insert task here], I may
        obtain [insert benefit here]", you will find that the task
        is much more pleasant. You will find yourself looking at
        the task as a positive experience that will lead to a
        reward, rather than this threatening, forced, "I have to do
        this." experience.
                When we have the thought "I should ...", it means
        that if I do what "I should", it will result in a pleasant
        situation, or avoid some unpleasant situation. Often this
        unpleasant situation is having someone strongly disapprove
        of us. This can make your motivation for doing what you
        think you should a bit less evident, because you are not
        totally aware of your own motivation. Many people will say,
        "No, I do what I should because I really SHOULD do it."
        However, if you ask them what will happen and press them
        long enough, it will always come down to the fact that
        someone (society, parents, God, or whoever) will disapprove
        of them, and they wish to avoid this. If you do not believe
        this, try it on yourself. Think of something that you do
        because you believe that you SHOULD (or SHOULDN'T) do it,
        and ask yourself what would happen if you did (or didn't)


                                     9
        do it. Seriously consider not doing this thing you SHOULD
        do (or doing this thing you SHOULDN'T do). You will find
        that the intellectual center will quickly come up with a
        very personal reason to do what you SHOULD (like, "Your
        mother will kill you if you do that.")
                Again, if you look at this "I should" in terms of
        pros and cons, benefits and costs, you can make a balanced
        decision about whether the benefits of doing it are worth
        the costs of not doing it. It loses the scary absoluteness
        of an absolute "I should". The same thing applies (in
        reverse) when you find the thought "I should not" racing
        through the awareness.
                When we think "You (or they, or whoever) should" or
        "You (or they, or whoever) should not" do something, what
        we really mean is that it will be more pleasing to us if
        the other person does what they should. For example, we may
        say "You should not talk to me like that." or "I think you
        should apologize for what you did to me." When the thought
        comes into the awareness that someone else should or should
        not do something, it is often accompanied by a thought that
        we should make them behave as they should. Usually, this
        thought is limited to a lot of yelling at the other person
        or criticizing them for the way they are behaving.
        Sometimes people go a lot further in trying to get people
        to do what the thoughts suggest they should do. This is an
        area where it is very definitely useful to evaluate the
        pros and cons of trying to get others to do as the thoughts
        suggest they should.
                When the thought "I need ..." comes into the
        awareness, you can look at what you need it (whatever "it"
        is) for. Then you can evaluate whether obtaining it is
        worth the price required to get it. Even if you decide it
        is worth the price, the "I need" becomes "I want", and you
        can be more relaxed about getting it.
                When the "... is good" or "... is bad" thoughts
        come into the awareness, you can see the situation in terms
        of relative goodness and badness. That is, in terms of
        relative pleasantness and unpleasantness. This can be
        especially useful when you are confronted by two or more
        bad situations that you must accept one of. Instead of
        "This is bad and I must avoid it and that is bad and I must
        avoid it and I cannot avoid both of them and oh, my what am
        I going to do, I think I will fall apart or kill myself.",
        you can observe that this is an unpleasant but survivable
        situation and that is an unpleasant but survivable
        situation, and which one would you rather have.
                Your exercise for this week is to be aware of
        absolute thoughts (have to, must, should, need, good, bad)
        that come into your awareness. Intercept them on the way to
        the action center. Do not accept them immediately. When you
        do not act an a suggestion immediately, the intellectual
        center will send you more information on why you have to,


                                     10
        should, should not, need, etc. act on the suggest. Observe
        this new information. Observe that the situation does not
        really fit into such absolutes, such black and white.
        Observe that there are degrees of desirability of the
        results of the various "have to" and "should" actions. You
        may still decide to do the original action suggested by the
        absolute thought, but you will find that it will be a
        calmer, more relaxed, more pleasant action than the
        compulsion suggested by the original thought.
                Continue to do the work of seeing your separateness
        from the thoughts and feelings and emotions. Of course,
        this is necessary in order to do the exercise of observing
        the absolute thoughts and suggestions.









































                                     11

                                 Chapter 3

                              Inner Conflict



                As you have been doing the exercises for the last
        few weeks, you have gained some experience with looking at
        the thoughts that go through the mind. You have seen that
        these thoughts are separate from the awareness that
        experiences them. You have had some practice looking at
        certain specific thoughts (those that see everything in
        black or white, as being either totally bad or totally
        good). It may now be useful to look at the origins of some
        of these thoughts, and the results of some mutually
        contradictory thoughts that try to achieve certain goals by
        mutually exclusive means.
                Before looking at the specific thoughts that the
        intellectual and emotional centers often present to the
        awareness, let's look at some of the goals that people are
        trying to achieve by these thoughts. Everyone has four
        basic desires. Each of these desires has a gain and an
        avoid aspect, for a total of eight desires. That is, each
        desire has something that a person likes to gain and
        something that a person likes to avoid.
                The simplest of these desires is physical
        sensations. Everyone likes to gain pleasant physical
        sensations, like warmth or pleasant tastes in food.
        Everyone likes to avoid unpleasant physical sensations,
        most notably pain.
                The other three desires are usually a bit more
        subtle, and involve social interactions. The first of these
        is the desire to have other people pay attention to us. We
        begin to feel an experience known as loneliness if nobody
        pays any attention to us for a long time. We also dislike
        the opposite of having people pay attention to us, which is
        to be ignored.
                The third desire is the desire for approval from
        others. It is not enough that people are paying attention
        to us (the second desire), we also want these people to
        like us and approve of us. We dislike having people
        disapprove of us, dislike us, or think poorly of us.
                The fourth desire is a desire for importance, for
        power. We like to be able to control people, or at least
        influence them. We all have a certain natural desire to be
        dominant. We also dislike feeling inferior to others and
        being required to do as they say.
                Now it is necessary for further growth of our
        understanding of ourselves for us to understand that every
        person has all eight of these desires (that is, the gain
        and avoid side of each of the four). There is no person on


                                     12
        Earth who does not have these desires as an inherent part
        of their inner instincts. People may have these desires in
        different proportions and different priorities. Some people
        may have largely subjugated their desire for power in order
        to have approval, for example, or vise versa. Many people
        will be strongly tilted toward either the gain or the avoid
        aspects. That is, some people may be so concerned with
        avoiding pain that they do not dare to strive for much
        pleasure, preferring safety from pain. Others may be so
        heavily weighted toward gaining pleasure that they seem
        almost immune to pain (we usually call these people
        thrill-seekers). However, everyone has these eight urges to
        some extent. Anyone who says that they have no interest in
        one or more of these (like "I, of course, have no desire
        for power over others.") is deceiving themselves (which
        will be discussed in the next chapter - no peeking ahead).
        For now, let us just accept that these desires are a
        natural part of human instincts and go from there.
                At a very early age (at birth, to be specific), we
        start trying to find ways to satisfy these desires. We do
        not think in words, of course, but we do begin to detect at
        a very primitive level that certain actions bring about a
        reduction in the pain and an increase in the desired
        comforts. The first technique that we develop is to
        complain (largely because certain crying instincts are
        built in). We find that if we complain (wail at lot, to
        start), someone comes along and gives us something to
        relieve the hunger (pain) and will give us warmth (physical
        pleasure) and attention. Thus, the first set of thoughts
        that we develop is to complain when we don't get our way.
                After we have had something pleasant a few times,
        we come to feel that it is a natural part of the world
        order and that we have a right to it. We feel that we can
        continue to get what we want by demanding our rights. As a
        child, we do this by throwing temper tantrums. As we get
        older, we develop slightly (but only slightly) more
        sophisticated methods of getting things that we feel we
        have a right to. I say only slightly more sophisticated
        methods, because they still tend to be some form of
        demanding or belligerence to cow others into giving us what
        we consider our rights, not working to promote our ability
        to do the things we want to do. Note that in this book,
        when I use the word "right", I am defining it as those
        things that we want and in some way we feel are a natural
        part of the universal order for us to have. I am not using
        the word to refer to political "rights", which are a man
        made political set of rules, something else entirely.
                After a person has spent a while complaining and
        sticking up for his/her rights, others around this person
        start to get tired of this. They start convincing the
        person to change his/her behavior to please them (a good
        spanking or two will usually accomplish this). The person


                                     13
        develops an understanding that it may be necessary to do
        things to please other people. The person develops many
        ways to do this, such as flattery, doing favors for others,
        and so on.
                One of the ways that the person learns to please
        others is to believe what they say. We learn to believe
        what our parents tell us in order to avoid angering them by
        disagreeing with them. Most importantly, we accept what
        they say is good or bad, right or wrong. This is one of the
        ways we collect many of the thoughts that something is good
        or bad, as discussed in the previous chapter. I mentioned
        in that chapter that we decide what is good or bad by what
        pleases us. Often it is what pleases us directly, like "You
        should be nice to me." However, sometimes we believe that
        something is good or bad, or we should or should not do
        something, because believing this gives us the pleasure of
        the approval of someone, particularly someone we are afraid
        of (or were afraid of when we originally accepted the
        belief).
                One of the ways we learn to please others (or at
        lest avoid displeasing them) is to not complain or stick up
        for our rights. This creates inner conflict inside the
        mind. A bunch of thoughts are popping into the awareness
        saying to complain and stick up for our rights, and another
        bunch of thoughts are popping up saying to please others by
        not complaining or being belligerent and by believing them
        when they say that complaining is a bad thing to do.
                Now it is necessary to understand that once we have
        accepted the decision to act in a certain way, that way of
        thinking takes on a life of its own when the awareness is
        not paying attention. The thought that it is time to act a
        certain way, like complain, is generated by association
        when a certain situation occurs, even if the current
        situation is not exactly like the former one and the
        particular action would no longer be effective. Likewise,
        when a particular believe has been accepted, even if it was
        originally accepted to please someone who is no longer
        present, a sleeping awareness will accept this belief as a
        fact when it is sent to the awareness by the intellectual
        center. If the awareness is not looking at these thoughts
        that say to do all these conflicting things, they all get
        passed on to the action center. The person is torn apart
        trying to do several conflicting things, or to believe
        several conflicting things. For example, they may believe
        that they have a right, based on the fact that they have
        had something several times and they want it again, while
        someone is telling them that they do not have this right.
                There are several ways for a person to handle this
        inner conflict. One is to finally pick one of the opposing
        lines of thought and suppress the other. This usually
        leaves the person feeling unsatisfied or uneasy. If they
        decide to complain and stick up for their rights, they


                                     14
        experience conflict with others around them, and
        occasionally some physical violence. If they decide to
        please others by doing what others say and believing them
        when they say that the person should not complain, should
        not stick up for their rights, and generally should not
        have things their way, the person feels like "I never get
        to have any fun."
                Another way that people often resolve the inner
        conflict is to do both things, usually very ineffectively.
        A very common example we see is the person complaining
        bitterly about something, but only to someone who is not
        involved in the situation and cannot possibly do anything
        about it. Someone (a boss, spouse, parent, etc.) does
        something that you don't like. The intellectual and
        emotional centers send up the suggestion to complain about
        this. The sleeping awareness passes this on to the action
        center as a decision. Energy is generated to be very
        forceful about complaining and sticking up for your rights
        in this matter. By God, you're going to do something about
        this! But before you can actually do anything (it takes a
        few seconds for the physical body to get moving), another
        message is sent up to the awareness and passed on to the
        action center saying "Bite your tongue. This person could
        really hurt/fire/reject/disapprove of/leave me if I make
        them mad. Smile pleasantly and nod." The person smiles
        pleasantly for the person they are afraid of, but then goes
        out and complains to someone else. That someone else is
        someone who would not be offended by (and may even approve
        of) the complains against the person the complainer is mad
        at. Another method of both complaining and not complaining
        is to complain inwardly, gritting ones teeth and filling
        oneself with resentment, while showing little or no outward
        signs of complaining.
                A very useful exercise to do this week (and to
        continue doing indefinitely) is to watch for these thoughts
        (complaining, sticking up for rights, pleasing others,
        believing what we are told) as they come into the
        awareness. Observe whenever you get the urge to complain,
        especially if the complaining cannot possibly help. Be
        aware that this is simply a suggestion. Be aware of your
        separateness from this suggestion. You may still decide to
        accept the suggestion. There are times when it can be quite
        useful to complain, like when you are getting poor service
        in a restaurant or store (if you complain to the right
        people, not your spouse when you get home). If you decide
        not to complain, do not fight the suggestion or try to
        bottle it up. Just be aware that it was a thought passing
        through the awareness and you do not have to act on it.
                The same goes for sticking up for your rights. Be
        aware when the thought that you have a right to something
        goes through the mind. This thought can have many subtle
        disguises. For example, you may sometimes have thought


                                     15
        something like, "You have no right to talk to me that way."
        What this really means, deep down, is "I have a right to
        have you not talk to me that way." Likewise, the thought
        "You should not treat me that way" really means "I have a
        right to have you not treat me that way." What for these
        thoughts as they enter the awareness. When they do, ask
        yourself, "On what grounds do I have this right?" Remember,
        a right here means something that you want and it is an
        intrinsic law of the universe that you have. Is there any
        intrinsic law of the universe that says that people should
        treat you nicely, or even fairly? (I'll give you a hint:
        The answer is no.) Be aware of these thoughts that you have
        a right to things and you must stick up for this right
        whenever they are infringed upon. Be aware that they are
        only thoughts popping into the awareness that you do not
        have to act on. You will find yourself being a lot calmer.
                Be aware when you find yourself trying to please
        someone. This does not mean that you never what to do it.
        Sometimes it can be very useful to please others. (You
        catch more flies with honey, and all that.) It can even be
        rather enjoyable to make someone happy sometimes when there
        is nothing in it for you. But be aware when the thought
        comes into the awareness that you MUST please someone.
                Be aware when beliefs pop into the awareness,
        especially beliefs that are hard to define like good bad,
        evil, should, shouldn't. (Remember them from last week?)
        When you find yourself believing anything, ask yourself
        where you acquired this "knowledge". Did you observe this
        yourself, or did someone tell it to you? If someone else
        told you this, why did you believe it? Was it to please
        them?
                Lastly, be aware when you find yourself trying to
        satisfy the basic desires (physical pleasure, attention,
        approval, importance) and avoid the basic unpleasantnesses
        (physical discomfort, being ignored, disapproval,
        inferiority). This does not mean you necessarily do not
        want to satisfy these desires. There is no reason not to
        have a little pleasure in life. But by being aware of what
        you are trying to gain from some action, and being aware
        that you do not necessarily NEED these pleasures (or pain
        avoidance) in order to survive, you can be a lot calmer and
        more relaxed as you pursue them.
                Watching for all these thoughts (and those of last
        week) and observing your separateness from them should give
        you a lot to do for the next week. If you are having
        trouble getting the hang of all of this, please feel free
        to take more than a week to work on it before going on to
        the next chapter.






                                     16

                                Chapter 4

                         Self Delusion And Blame



                In the last chapter, we discussed some of the
        methods people adopt to gain pleasure and avoid pain. These
        included complaining, sticking up for rights, and doing and
        believing as other people tell them to. I also mentioned
        that this creates inner conflict when two methods are
        mutually exclusive or contradictory. If you have been doing
        the exercise of observing these thoughts while remaining
        apart from them (subtle hint to do the homework), you have
        observed these thoughts in yourself. Unless you have had a
        remarkably dull or blissful week, you have had the
        opportunity to observe the conflict this creates within you.
                In Chapter 3, I also noted some of the ways that
        people have of avoiding these conflicts. One is to do one
        or the other of the things the thoughts tell you to do,
        while feeling bad about not being able to do the other.
        Another is to do both things, but do one or both of them in
        an ineffective way (like complaining to someone who will
        not be offended, but who cannot change the situation). In
        this chapter, we will discuss two other ways that people
        also attempt to deal with these conflicts.
                The first way is to try to convince themselves that
        they do not have any conflict. That is, they try to
        convince themselves that they do not have certain desires
        or thoughts. They may decide that they do not want to
        complain. They may try to convince themselves that they
        have no desire for the approval of others, and therefore do
        not need to please others. They may try to convince
        themselves that they have all the qualities that others
        have told them are good, like patience, generosity, and so
        on. In short, they build up a beautiful picture of
        themselves, and convince themselves that this is what they
        are really like. That way, they can praise themselves for
        being such a wonderful person.
                The problem with this technique is that the person
        is usually unwilling to admit that they even have the
        thoughts in the mind that they do not like. They just try
        to cover them up with a lot of other thoughts and drowned
        them out. Psychiatrists would call this suppression.
                Now we know from the previous chapters and the
        self-observation we have been doing for the last few weeks
        (another subtle hint) that we all do have these thoughts.
        The only way to really be free from these thoughts is to
        allow them to come into the awareness, recognize them as
        separate thoughts and suggestions, and then choose not to
        obey them. However, this attempt to convince ourselves that


                                     17
        we do not have these thoughts and feelings and emotions has
        the exact opposite effect. It prevents us from looking at
        the thoughts and reevaluating them. In some ways, it
        actually makes it easier for these thoughts to get past the
        awareness and get into the action center, because the
        awareness is trying not to see them.
                Rather than decreasing the conflict, this attempt
        to be something that you aren't actually increases it. You
        not only need to deal with all the conflicting thoughts and
        emotions, you have to deal with the fact that you have them
        when you are trying to convince yourself that you don't. In
        exchange for a few moments of self-adulation at what a
        wonderful person you are, you have greatly increased your
        inner conflict. You have also made yourself susceptible to
        self-criticism for not living up to this ideal of what you
        should be. (Go back to chapter 2 if you need a refresher on
        ideals, which are another term for absolute should-be's.)
                This conflict between what you inevitably find that
        you think and feel and what you believe you should think
        and feel leads each person to the last of the major methods
        of trying to gain pleasure and avoid pain. This is the
        ultimate solution to all the inner conflicts: Blame someone
        else. Whatever is wrong, whenever the person is not happy,
        whenever they fail to be the wonderful person they know
        they really are, it is someone else's fault. If they are
        not happy, it is because someone else will not do what is
        necessary for the person to be happy. If the person is
        somehow not this wonderful person they think they are, it
        is someone else's fault. For example, "I really am a
        patient, kind person, but you are so absolutely
        insufferable that it is impossible for me to be the
        wonderful person that I really am." (Stop and think for a
        minute about what self-contradictory nonsense this is.)
                There are two purposes to this blaming. The first
        is to shift the blame off you. That is, it is a defensive
        reaction. If someone says that you are not being the
        perfect person that they say you should be, you can try to
        find someone else to blame. This is an old habit left over
        from our childhoods, when we tried to avoid punishment by
        finding someone else to blame when we were in trouble.
                The second purpose of all this blaming is to get
        the other person to change so that everything will be
        wonderful again. If we are not getting out way, we can find
        someone else that needs to change in order for us to be
        happy. If so-and-so would just do what they SHOULD do, I
        would be so happy. Then we try to convince that person to
        change their ways so everything would be just perfect. This
        is also an old habit from childhood. Children don't have
        much power to do anything on their own, so they have to get
        someone else to do things for them.
                The problem with this method of gaining pleasure
        and avoiding pain is that all these stupid people who are


                                     18
        to blame just will not do what they should. We explain to
        them that they are to blame and what they should do, and
        they don't do it. Of course, they are to blame for not
        accepting the blame, also.
                This last method of getting what we want is usually
        the least effective of them all. The other person usually
        just gets defensive themselves when we blame them. After
        all, they have the same decision to blame as everyone else.
        This blaming usually just ends in a big argument, or even a
        fight. Even if you manage to find someone who will accept
        the blame (usually someone with very low self-esteem), it
        does not really help. The other person can seldom really do
        anything to help you, because the problem was really within
        you. The other person just does not have the power to do
        anything to help you. Of course, a really talented blamer
        will usually manage to blame the person for not being able
        to help them.
                Since these last two methods of gaining pleasure
        and escaping pain cause so much trouble, it can be worth
        while so spend a week or so looking at just these. First,
        consider the idea of trying to pretend (even to yourself)
        that you do not have certain thoughts and feelings.
                First, let's consider the idea that everyone has
        the same basic desires and thoughts. That is, everyone has
        the eight basic desires. They may be in different
        proportions. There is nothing incorrect about the idea that
        you may be more interested in one pleasure than another.
        You may, for example, have very little desire for power.
        The only problem comes if you try to convince yourself that
        you have none of a certain desire, so that when the desire
        comes into your awareness, you are unable or unwilling to
        recognize it. The point here is that there is no need for
        you to feel ashamed or afraid to have the same feelings as
        everyone else. The same thing applies to all of the methods
        of trying to achieve these desires. Everyone has the
        thoughts that they should complain, stick up for their
        rights, please others, accept what others tell them, try to
        be something that they are not, and blame others when
        things go wrong. There is no reason to pretend that you do
        not have these thoughts. There is a very good reason to
        admit that you do: Until you admit that you have the
        thoughts, the awareness cannot recognize them when the
        intellectual center sends them to the awareness as
        suggestions. Until the awareness recognizes them, it cannot
        make the choice (if it decides it wants to) not to obey
        them. Instead, they will be passed on to the action center,
        usually with some rationalization that they are something
        else. Thus, you have every reason to recognize these
        thoughts and feelings and no reason not to.
                In addition, consider the fact that these thoughts
        and feelings are not really you (remember good old chapter
        1). These thoughts are simply suggestions that you were


                                     19
        given and that you put into the intellectual and emotional
        centers before you know any better. They are simply
        suggestions that are sent up from these centers for
        consideration by the awareness. THEY ARE NOT YOU. You do
        not need to be ashamed of them or afraid of them. You do
        not need to change them. All you need to do is recognize
        them, be aware that they are just suggestions and, if you
        choose to, decide not to obey them. They will still be with
        you (although you will find that they will be presented by
        the intellectual and emotional centers less and less often
        if you do not act on them), but they are not you.
                So, your first experiment for the week is to be on
        the lookout for how often you find yourself believing (or
        trying to convince yourself) that you are a certain way
        simply because it is desirable to be that way. Also, be
        aware of how often you try to be a certain way because
        someone else has said that you should be that way. The most
        common reason for trying to be a certain way is to please
        others, or to be what other say we SHOULD be (usually some
        authority figure, like a parent, priest, etc.).
                As a part of this experiment, freely face up to any
        suggestions and feeling or emotions that you find coming
        into the awareness. When you experience them, remember that
        they are not you. You do not have to "not be that way" or
        "not feel that way" or "not think such thoughts" because
        they are not you. Be aware that you do not need to be
        afraid or ashamed of these thoughts or feelings or
        emotions, because (I think I've said this before) they are
        not you.
                The last experiment for this week is to watch out
        for blaming. Be aware when blaming thoughts enter the
        awareness. Watch for thoughts like "If he would only do . .
        ." or "It is her fault that . . ." or "I could do . . . (or
        be . . .) if only that other person would . . .". When such
        thoughts enter the awareness, other thoughts usually
        accompany them, such as "I must make him (or her) accept
        (and/or admit) the blame and do what they should so that I
        can be happy." (Usually this is not specifically expressed
        as "so I can be happy", but as a more specific event will
        occur. This event is then something that you feel would
        ultimately make you happy.) Be aware of these thoughts too.
        Be aware that they are all only thoughts. Be aware that you
        do not have to accept or act on these thoughts. You also
        might find it useful to be aware of how unlikely it is that
        you will gain anything from acting on these thoughts. (That
        is, that the person will ever accept the blame, mend their
        evil ways, and dedicate their life to making you happy.) Be
        aware of all the thoughts that come up if you decide not to
        blame or try to force the other person to change, such as
        "But they really should . . ." or "But it really is their
        fault." or "But it is so unfair that they do not . . .". Be
        aware that these are only thoughts too, being sent up from


                                     20
        the intellectual and emotional centers.
                That will keep you busy for another week or so.




















































                                     21

                                Chapter 5

                          Feelings and Emotions



                In some of the previous chapters, I have been
        promising to explain the difference between feelings and
        emotions. Well, now is the time.
                Feelings are certain natural, built-in sensations
        that we all have and which are completely natural (and
        unavoidable) to experience. Some of these feelings are
        pleasant, some are unpleasant. Some of the pleasant ones
        are happiness, joy, love, and satisfaction. Some of the
        unpleasant feelings are loneliness and rejection. The
        common denominator of feelings is that they are a direct
        result of the current situation. If you gain attention and
        approval from someone, you will feel pleasure, joy, and
        happiness. If someone or something gives you pleasure, you
        will probably feel love for that person or thing. If you
        are alone for a while, you will start to feel loneliness
        (you don't have to wallow in it, however). If someone tells
        you they do not like you, you will feel rejected and
        disapproved of. The situation exists and we feel a
        sensation that is connected with it.
                Emotions, on the other hand, are a secondary or
        indirect response to our environment, based on how our
        inner thought processes respond to it. A combination of
        thoughts that are in conflict with each other or with
        reality produces a mental energy that is undirected or
        misdirected. This mental energy cannot easily be used and
        therefore produces a generally unpleasant sensation we call
        emotion. Typical emotions are fear, anger, anxiety, and
        guilt.
                There are specific thoughts that lead to each
        emotion. Studying which thoughts lead to which emotions can
        have several benefits. First, knowing which thoughts cause
        which emotions can allow the awareness to be on the lookout
        for these thoughts and recognize them when they come into
        the awareness. It can then not accept them unquestioningly,
        just as it has learned to not accept thoughts discussed in
        previous chapters. This will prevent them from being put
        into the action center, and will decrease the amount of
        emotions we experience. (Note: Some people refer to
        "negative emotions." I am declining to use that term here
        simply because all emotions are negative as we are defining
        them here. That is, all emotions are a response to
        inappropriate and mistaken thoughts that are accepted by
        the awareness. All emotions generate violent or destructive
        mental energy which has no place to be effectively
        channeled to, and are therefore destructive to the body and


                                     22
        mind. Therefore, all emotions are negative. Please be aware
        that we are using the term emotions here in a specific
        sense that is slightly different from the common usage of
        the word. Some people include feelings in the things we are
        calling emotions here, which we do not.)
                A secondly reason for studying which thoughts
        produce which emotions is that it can help us be aware of
        what thoughts are slipping past the awareness by observing
        what emotions we are feeling. That is, if we find ourselves
        feeling certain emotions (note that we are feeling
        emotions, not having or being those emotions. Remember
        chapter 1), we can look back at what thoughts caused those
        emotions. This can serve as a sort of biofeedback on our
        thoughts that will help us be aware of thoughts that we may
        have missed as they passed through the awareness while it
        was not on the job.
                The first emotion to understand is fear. Fear is
        caused by a combination of two thoughts. The first is that
        something unpleasant is going to happen soon. "Soon" may be
        in a few seconds, hours, days, or years, but the person
        feeling fear thinks of it as "soon" (usually "too soon").
        The second thought is that you must do something about this
        situation NOW. Both of these thoughts are usually in error.
        The first is in error because we cannot really know the
        future with total certainty. That is, we may know that it
        is fairly likely that something is going to happen in the
        future but we cannot know with absolute certainty that
        anything (except possibly death and taxes) will happen. We
        also cannot be sure that it is going to be as bad
        (unpleasant) as we think it is. We may be building it up in
        our minds to unrealistic proportions. The second thought,
        that we must do something NOW, is always wrong when we are
        experiencing fear. That is, fear is always caused by trying
        to do something about a future situation before it is
        possible. We envision the situation as we expect it to
        exist in the future. We try to respond to this situation
        now. The body releases chemicals such as adrenaline that
        generate tremendous amounts of energy in the body to deal
        with this situation. But the body has no use for this
        energy, because there is nothing for the body to do about
        this situation, because the situation does not presently
        exist. Thus, all this tremendous energy is flowing through
        the body with nowhere to go. The person feels great
        urgency, a need to do something, to run away or fight
        someone. This is the sensation of fear.
                For example, lets say that a person is due to give
        a speech in front of a large crowd. The person has the
        thought that he will make a mistake and embarrass himself,
        or that the crowd will be hostile to his speech. He has the
        thought that he wants to run away from this hostile crowd.
        He has all this energy mobilized to run away from these
        dangerous people. However, he has not yet made any mistakes


                                     23
        in his speech and the crowd is not yet hostile. Perhaps he
        has not even started his speech yet. In fact, the speech
        may be days in the future. Therefore, he has no place to
        run and nobody to run from at the moment. This sensation of
        wanting to do something about an unpleasant situation
        before there is anything that can be done is fear.
                The second emotion to understand is anxiety.
        Anxiety is very similar to fear. In anxiety, the person
        also has a thought that something terrible is about to
        happen or is happening now. As in fear, the person has the
        thought that they must do something about this terrible
        thing. In anxiety, however, the person has no idea what to
        do about the situation. With fear, the person had a pretty
        good idea what they wanted to do (usually either run away
        or fight someone). With anxiety, the person still has the
        thought that they want to do something about the situation,
        but does not know what to do. Sometimes, the reason the
        person does not know what to do is because they do not know
        what the terrible thing that is about to happen is. That
        is, they have a suspicion that something is about to go
        wrong, but they do not know what it is and therefore do not
        know what to do about it. As in fear, the body generates
        tremendous amounts of energy to do something about the
        situation, but the body has no way to expend this energy.
        Anxiety can be described as unfocused or uncrystalized fear.
                The third emotion to understand is anger. Anger is
        caused by the thoughts that something unpleasant has
        happened to you and that someone or something specific is
        to blame. That is, if that someone or something else would
        behave differently, you would be happy. It involves the
        thought that you must make that person behave differently.
        Again, the body releases lots of adrenaline and related
        chemicals into the system in order to give you the energy
        to go force that person to behave differently. Often you
        have only a fuzzy idea or exactly what you are going to do
        to this person. Sometimes you feel that by beating this
        person up, or even killing them, the situation will
        improve. This is especially true when the person has made
        you feel inferior (powerless) or rejected you. By severely
        injuring that person or even killing them, you can at least
        feel that they are no longer more powerful than you or can
        no longer reject you. Occasionally, you have only a fuzzy
        idea of exactly who the person is that is to blame. You
        just are angry at the world. Sometimes you are angry at a
        situation or inanimate object. The principle is the same.
        The body still generates energy for you to use to fight
        this person, situation, or inanimate object. Remember that
        when the awareness is asleep, it is accepting and acting on
        suggestions coming up from the intellectual and emotional
        centers. These centers are just providing these suggestions
        based on the closest situation in their data files. Often
        that information says that when you have had something


                                     24
        unpleasant happen to you, someone has probably done
        something to you, and you should punish that person to make
        them stop. The sleeping awareness will pass on this
        suggestion to the action center and it will try to hurt
        someone, even if that someone has not been clearly
        identified.
                Hatred is similar to anger. The difference is that
        in anger, you actively feel (at some level of the mind)
        that you intend to take action against someone soon. In
        hatred, you have accepted that you cannot do anything in
        the immediate future, but you intend to do something if and
        when you get the chance. It is basically anger put on hold.
        The body still generates energy to hurt someone, but it
        puts it on hold. The thought is then put into the
        intellectual center to be on the lookout for ways to hurt
        the target of the hatred. This makes for easy associations
        with violence within the intellectual center.
                Guilt is when you decide that you are to blame for
        the current situation, rather than someone else. You try to
        punish yourself, rather than someone else. This is
        certainly easier than punishing someone else (someone else
        will probably resist the punishment), but it is a rather
        unpleasant solution.
                Depression is caused when you feel that an
        unpleasant situation exists, and there is nobody at all to
        blame (not even yourself) and nothing that you can do about
        it (like run away or fight). Instead, the suggestion being
        followed is that since the situation cannot be made any
        better, you may as well make it worse, or at least make it
        seem worse by finding worse and worse ways of looking at
        the situation and describing it. At least that way, people
        will pity you or you can wallow in self-pity. People who
        are accepting the depression thoughts will usually actively
        resist any attempt to make things better, since if the
        situation gets better they will miss out on all that pity.
        Suggestions like, "Why don't you do something to cheer
        yourself up, like go to a funny movie?" will fall on deaf
        ears.
                As an exercise for this week, let's be on the
        lookout for any of these thoughts that generate emotions.
        We can look at them as suggestions and decide whether we
        want to act on them. In all cases, we can look at (and not
        identify with) the suggestions that the current situation
        is so bad that we MUST do something about it. Looking at
        things in terms of relative unpleasantness rather than
        absolute good or bad will go a long way toward reducing the
        urgency of the emotions. We can also look out for specific
        thoughts that lead to specific emotions.
                For fear, be aware of any things that enter the
        awareness that suggest that something terrible is going to
        happen. Look at whether you really KNOW that this is going
        to happen. If it seems fairly certain that the event will


                                     25
        happen, look at whether you really KNOW that it is going to
        be as bad as you are imagining it. Most importantly, look
        out for thoughts that suggest that you must do something
        NOW about this situation. That is, look at whether you are
        living in the NOW. When the thought comes into the
        awareness to run away from this situation, look at whether
        there is anything to run away from RIGHT NOW, or are you
        simply envisioning something that may appear sometime in
        the future. If the person, thing, or event that you want to
        run away from is not present now, you can realize that the
        suggestion to run away (or fight) is not practical. In that
        case, you can make the decision not to accept the
        suggestion to run (or fight) now, and therefore not to
        generate all that energy right now. Practice living in the
        NOW and responding to things that exist right now, rather
        than the things your intellectual center is showing you
        could happen in the future. If the event does happen in the
        future, you can always accept the suggestion to run away or
        fight then, when you actually have something you can do. By
        not generating all that energy until you can use it, you
        will save yourself having all that energy running through
        you with no place to go.
                The same basic idea goes for anxiety. If you feel
        that something bad is about to happen, look at how sure you
        are that it will happen and how sure you are that it will
        be that bad. When the suggestion enters the awareness that
        you must do SOMETHING about this situation, look at that
        suggestion. Does the suggestion give you any idea WHAT to
        do about the situation? If so, is it something you can do?
        If you look at the suggestion and see that it does not
        offer anything specific you can do, you may see that it has
        no value to try to do SOMETHING. If you see that the
        thought is just a suggestion that popped into your
        awareness and that it has no value, the awareness will not
        accept it, the suggestion will not be passed on to the
        action center, and you will feel less anxiety.
                For anger and hatred, look at the suggestion that
        someone is to blame for the situation. Is there really one
        person or thing that is to blame? That is, was the
        situation really caused by a single individual or group or
        thing, or was it a combination of events that lead up to
        it? Is it possible for this one person that you are blaming
        to fix the situation or make it better? If not, there is
        little use in your trying to take action against that
        person. If it is possible for that person to fix things
        (make the situation more pleasant again), is there a
        snowball's chance in Hell that you will be able to persuade
        them to do it by arguing with them, or even by violence? If
        the answer to any of these questions is no, you might look
        at the suggestions that you blame them and try to get them
        to change as just suggestions, and decide whether you
        really want to expend the effort and make the personal


                                     26
        sacrifices (which will be discussed in the next chapter) to
        act on these suggestions. Remember that if the awareness
        can separate itself from these suggestions and decide not
        to accept them, they will not be put into the action center.
                If you detect the thoughts that lead to guilt
        entering the awareness, look at these suggestions
        carefully. Is there any benefit from punishing yourself? If
        you decide that you really do not want to do the thing that
        you were starting to feel guilty about, you can stop doing
        it. It is not necessary to punish yourself to get yourself
        to stop doing it, just stop doing it. And if you decide not
        to stop doing the thing, what is the benefit in punishing
        yourself for doing it if you are still going to do it? You
        might as well go ahead and do it, and enjoy it. Be aware of
        thoughts that say you should (there is that "should" again)
        punish yourself by feeling guilty, and decide if you want
        to do that.
                As for depression, watch out for thoughts entering
        the awareness that suggest that you make the situation
        worse. That is, watch out for thoughts that look for the
        bad side of a situation. When you detect such thoughts, ask
        yourself if you really want to make things worse, or if you
        would prefer to make things better (even a little better).
        You can talk yourself into thinking things are worse, or
        you can look at the bright side and make the most of the
        situation, and maybe even do something to make the
        situation better. The choice is up to you.
                Spend a week or so practicing being on the lookout
        for the thoughts that lead to these destructive emotions.
        In the next chapter, we will discuss emotions some more.
        For now, getting some practice at being aware of the
        thoughts that create these emotions can be well worthwhile.






















                                     27

                                Chapter 6

                             Vicious Cycles



                One aspect of emotions that makes it difficult for
        the awareness to remember its separateness from the
        emotions is that the emotions can be self-perpetuating.
        There are several feedback cycles (otherwise know as
        vicious cycles) that can keep emotions feeding on
        themselves. It can be very worthwhile to be aware of these
        cycles so that the awareness can spot them as they occur
        and break the cycle.
                The first of these cycles is caused by an old habit
        that many people have of trying to justify or rationalize
        the emotions that they are feeling. This is especially true
        if it is an emotion that they feel they should not be
        having. First, some thought or event occurs that triggers
        some emotion or feeling. We begin to feel the emotion
        rising up within us. If the emotion is one that we have
        been taught to believe we should not have (such as anger),
        we then start to justify this emotion.
                For example, suppose someone does something that we
        do not like, and we start to experience anger. We start
        building up a case in our mind to justify this anger. We
        start thinking of other things this person has done that we
        do not like. We may even start imagining things that this
        person might be doing or might do sometime in the future.
        Of course, all these thoughts about what the person has
        done or might do trigger more feelings of anger. These
        feelings of anger then cause us to think of even more
        terrible things about that person, and so on. Before you
        know it, some poor person who has done one little thing to
        you (at least recently) has become the worst person in all
        of recorded history, and probably for some time before that.
                What is happening is that the intellectual center
        is providing associations based on the information it is
        receiving from the awareness. The awareness is identifying
        with the anger and with the thoughts that the person you
        are experiencing anger against is bad. It is accepting
        these as true, and therefore putting them into the
        intellectual center as true. The intellectual center is
        therefore providing the awareness with information that
        seems relevant based on its associations. This information
        is more information about how bad this other person is. Of
        course, these thoughts of what a terrible person this is
        seldom trigger pleasant associations about the person, such
        as a few of the nice things this person has done.
                Even if the emotion or feeling is not one that we
        try to justify, we often look for reasons we are having


                                     28
        this emotion if it is an unpleasant one. For example, if we
        are afraid, we look for reasons why we are afraid. If we
        are feeling sad, we often look for things that are making
        us sad. This has the same effect as justifying the emotion,
        because we are still generating reasons or excuses for
        having the emotion. The big problem with this attempt to
        find reasons for our emotions is that the reasons we come
        up with then help to increase the emotions and feelings.
                Take fear, for example. Suppose something startles
        you or scares you. You start to feel the fear. The
        intellectual center receives the information that something
        terrible is about to happen. It therefore provides more
        information on terrible things that can happen by providing
        previously stored information on scary situations. These
        thoughts trigger more fear, and the cycle repeats. Before
        you know it, one little noise downstairs has convinced you
        that a squad of foreign terrorists have driven a truck bomb
        into your living room. Figure 6.1 provides a graphic
        representation of the process.
                The same process can      Initial Event
        occur for just about any             |
        feeling or emotion, good             |
        or bad. If you are feeling           V
        guilty, the intellectual          Emotion <--------------+
        center will provide you              |                   |
        with lots of thoughts about          |                   |
        what a terrible person you           V                   |
        are. If you are feeling sad       Justifying thoughts    |
        or down, it will provide          and/or associations ---+
        you with lots of thoughts         with the emotion
        about what a miserable life
        you have. On the other hand,      Figure 6.1
        if you are feeling cheerful,
        the intellectual center will provide you with thoughts and
        memories of how nice everything has been and can be. If
        you feel good about someone, the intellectual center will
        be provided with lots of thoughts about nice things about
        that person.
                The cycle of negative feelings or emotions can be
        broken at several points using the same techniques
        discussed in previous chapters. That is, the awareness can
        maintain its separateness from the thoughts and emotions.
        When you feel the emotion or feeling, be aware that it is
        simply something that you are experiencing, a sensation
        coming from the emotional center. If it is an emotion,
        remember that it is simply something that was triggered by
        the conditioned thoughts discussed in the chapter 5. There
        is no reason to reason to justify having it.  For example,
        if the emotion is anger, be aware that one of those blaming
        thoughts managed to get through the awareness when it
        wasn't paying attention. You don't need to justify the
        anger. You don't need to look for additional reasons to be


                                     29
        angry with the person. If such thoughts about other reasons
        to be angry do come up from the intellectual center due to
        associations, just view them as suggestions that the
        awareness can reject. Remember, there is no value to you in
        getting angry, so you have every reason to ignore these
        thoughts providing you with "reasons" to be angry. The same
        goes for being afraid, or any of the other emotions or
        feelings. You can break the vicious cycle by disidentifying
        (that is, remembering our separateness from) with either
        the feelings and emotions, or with the thoughts which then
        feed them (or with both).
                You also can go a step beyond breaking the negative
        cycle by creating a positive one. Decide what emotion you
        would like to be feeling. Act as if you are already feeling
        that way. If you want to feel happy, smile lot and act
        happy. This will generate associations with happy thoughts,
        which will cause the intellectual center to send these
        happy thoughts to the awareness. This will then generate
        the feeling of happiness, which will generate the same
        cycle shown in figure 6.1, only with a pleasant, positive
        feeling.
                Another cycle that can cause runaway emotions is
        the adaptation cycle. It works like this. When a person
        experiences a strong emotion such as fear or anger, the
        person's body releases certain chemicals that affect the
        metabolism, such as adrenaline. This is a holdover from our
        ancient history when we lived in the wild. Our primitive
        ancestors had a lot of trouble with dangerous animals,
        violent human enemies, and other dangers. When they
        experienced anger or fear, it was usually because they were
        in some physical danger, such as having someone or
        something attack them. In such as situation, it was very
        valuable to have a sudden extra supply of energy. Because
        of this, our primitive ancestors developed these glands
        that squirt all sorts of chemicals into out bloodstream
        when they felt these emotions. These chemicals released the
        necessary energy to fight the threatening creature or at
        least run away very fast. Unfortunately, we still have
        these glands even though we seldom need to fight or run
        when we experience strong emotions. For example, it is
        usually strongly counterproductive to get into a fist fight
        or run away when your boss is yelling at you or your spouse
        is threatening to leave you. As a result, we experience the
        emotions (that is, until we get really good at
        disidentifying with the thoughts that cause them) and have
        all this energy released into our systems, but we do not
        immediately use the energy. When the body realizes that you
        are not going to use all this energy by fighting or
        running, it must find another way to get rid of this energy
        coursing through your bloodstream. It usually finds some
        simple (although not necessarily pleasant) way to get rid
        of it, such as causing your heart to beat faster or your


                                     30
        stomach muscles to tie themselves in knots or your neck
        muscles to tighten up (which often gives you a headache).
        This deliberate waste of excess energy is called
        adaptation, because your body is adapting to excess energy
        by using it up.
                Now ordinarily, these adaptations are short-lived
        and harmless, even if they are uncomfortable. The problem
        comes if the person is not aware of this fact and allows
        the adaptations themselves to trigger other emotions. The
        most common emotion is fear of the adaptation itself, such
        as fear that you are having a heart attack or other serious
        problem. Some people also get angry
        about having the unpleasant             Initial emotion
        sensations, such as blaming the               |
        person they are arguing with for              V
        giving them a headache.               +-->Release of----+
                Of course, the new emotions   |   chemicals     |
        then release more chemicals into      |                 V
        the bloodstream, which generates     More          Physical
        more adaptations. This can easily    emotions      reaction
        become a vicious cycle.  Figure 6.2   ^                 |
        shows the process. Eventually,        |                 |
        it is quite possible for the part     +--Concern about<-+
        of the body that is using up the         physical reaction
        energy to become worn out and start
        to break down. Then you can start to      Figure 6.2
        have real problems, such as ulcers.
                As before, there are several simple ways to break
        this cycle. The first thing to do is simply be aware that
        the physical sensations you are feeling after experiencing
        a strong emotion like fear or anger are a normal, healthy
        way for your body to get rid of some excess energy, even if
        it is a bit uncomfortable at the moment. If you just leave
        it alone, it will go away by itself. This knowledge alone
        is often enough to break the cycle, since you are no longer
        afraid of the adaptation. If this is not enough, then you
        can actively observe all the thoughts coming into the
        awareness telling you that you must do something about the
        physical sensations, and reject these suggestions. You also
        can disidentify with the emotions that you experience that
        are caused by the physical sensations, such as fear, anger,
        etc. Disidentifying with the thoughts and emotions will
        greatly reduce or even eliminate the release of chemicals,
        and therefore break the cycle.
                There is a third cycle that can make it more
        difficult (notice I do not say impossible) to quiet the
        emotions. Some of the chemicals that I have just described
        that your body releases when you experience strong emotions
        can actually be addictive. If you have been experiencing a
        certain emotion for a long time, you can become somewhat
        addicted to the chemicals associated with that emotion.
        When you stop feeling that emotion because you have started


                                     31
        to disidentify from and reject the thoughts that cause it,
        you may actually start to feel an almost subliminal craving
        for that emotion. We all know someone who has held an
        emotion (resentment, fear, self-pity, etc.) for so long
        that they only seem to be happy (I use that word very
        loosely here) when they are wallowing in that emotion. If
        you have been dominated for a long time by some particular
        emotion and you start to observe and reject the thoughts
        that cause it so that you stop experiencing that emotion,
        you may start to experience a temporary emotional
        discomfort. This could take the form of an uneasiness or
        edginess, a slight feeling of emptiness, or a craving or
        desire to have that emotion again. This can tend to draw
        you back to experiencing the emotion. If this happens, just
        be aware of the feeling and disidentify from the feeling of
        wanting or missing the emotion. It is just temporary,
        although it may return with decreasing frequency and
        intensity as time goes on, just like any craving for
        something unhealthy you give up. If you are aware of it,
        you should have no difficulty rejecting this suggestion,
        just like any other.
                For the next week (and the rest of your life), be
        on the lookout for the vicious cycles described in this
        chapter. These are fairly easy to spot, because you have
        the emotions associated with them to act as a little
        "alarm" to warn you. As soon as you start to feel an
        emotion, start looking for any thoughts that begin to
        follow the emotion that tend to reinforce the emotion. If
        you feel anger at someone (or something), immediately look
        for thoughts that pop into the awareness that tend to agree
        with the anger. If you experience fear, be on the lookout
        for associations that will reinforce the fear. The same
        goes for all unpleasant emotions. When such thoughts do
        enter the awareness, observe that they are just suggestions
        and reject them. You have enough to do with what is going
        on NOW without having all these associations to deal with.
        Of course, ideally you will eventually learn to spot and
        reject the thoughts that cause the emotions in the first
        place (as described in chapter 5), but when you are just
        starting out in this work a few may get by the awareness
        and into the emotional and action centers. If that happens,
        breaking the self-perpetuating cycle is the next best thing.
                If you do have a strong emotion and begin to feel a
        physical reaction sometime afterward (it may be only a
        minute or two, but it could be as long as several days), be
        aware that this is a normal reaction. Observe and reject
        any suggestions that you need to feel fear or anger (or any
        other emotion) about these physical sensations.
                As you become successful at the techniques
        described in this chapter and the preceding ones, you will
        find that you will experience less and less violent emotion
        (even fear or guilt can be considered a violent emotion


                                     32
        here, since they are destructive to the body and mind).
        Once that happens, be on the lookout for any cravings to go
        back to these emotions. It may not happen at all, but if it
        does, just disidentify from the sensation and suggestions.
        They will fade some enough, and you will be rewarded by a
        much calmer inner state.
                Take care to do the exercises for this week and to
        continue to do the ones from the preceding weeks.














































                                     33

                                 Chapter 7

                            Living in the Now



                One of the reasons that the thoughts coming from
        the intellectual center sometimes get sent on to the action
        center is that the awareness sometimes does not pay close
        attention to whether images that come to it are actually
        happening now. Ideally, the awareness would look at
        information coming to it from the senses, evaluate what to
        do about this situation, and send the correct decision on
        to the action center. The information that comes from the
        intellectual center would be used for reference only, to
        help evaluate the current information coming from the
        senses. Unfortunately, the images that come from the
        intellectual center can sometimes seem so real that this
        information is reported to the action center as if it were
        currently happening.
                Let's take a simple (and common) example. Suppose
        you are at a social gathering and you spot someone who once
        did something to you that caused you pain or prevented you
        from getting pleasure (as defined in chapter 3). By
        association, the intellectual center will send images of
        this event to the awareness when you see this person. In
        short, you will remember the event. As these memories are
        being shown to the awareness, it can seem to the awareness
        as if the events are actually happening. The awareness can
        send this information to the emotional center and the
        action center, causing strong emotions and the physical
        reactions discussed in the previous chapter. This is not to
        say that the awareness has totally lost touch with reality
        and is totally unaware that these things are not happening
        now. It merely means that in the moments that the awareness
        is seeing the vivid memory images, they can seem real
        enough to be acted on by the emotional and action centers
        if the awareness is not careful.
                The same thing can happen with memories involving
        other emotions, such as fear, depression, and so on. As an
        association causes the intellectual center to replay scenes
        from past events, the images can be so vivid that for a few
        moments the awareness relives the event and passes the same
        decisions made then on to the emotional and action centers.
                The same situation can even exist when the
        awareness sees images from the intellectual center that
        have never happened. This occurs when you are worried about
        something that might happen in the future. The intellectual
        center puts together hypothetical pictures of what might
        happen and shows them to the awareness for consideration.
        The awareness, however, is half asleep and views these as


                                     34
        real events. It makes decisions based on these images and
        sends instructions to the action center.
                For example, suppose you expect to face a situation
        that you consider threatening tomorrow (such as going into
        battle). The intellectual center may create images of what
        this may be like. As the awareness sees these images, it
        reacts to them as if they were happening right now, and
        sends instructions to the action center to fight (or run).
        The action center releases the necessary chemicals into the
        bloodstream to release energy to do this. By the time the
        awareness wakes up and realizes that this situation does
        not exist right now, this energy is rushing through your
        body. You then have the situation described in chapter 6
        (all wound up and no place to go).
                What can you do about this? The solution is for the
        awareness to make the extra effort to stay awake and be
        aware at all times of where its information is coming from.
        Is it observing something that is actually happening, or is
        this simply an image being shown to it? When images of past
        events or possible future events flood the awareness, focus
        on what is actually happening now. This does not mean to
        try to block out these images coming from the intellectual
        center. To make this attempt would only increase the
        tension, and would be impossible. Simply keep in the
        awareness the knowledge that these images are not actually
        what is happening, and that there is no need to act on
        them. As you see the false images and at the same time see
        the knowledge that these images are not happening now, the
        effect of these images will fade automatically.
                You also can remind yourself as often as possible
        that it is more valuable to be aware of what is happening
        right now than to react to what has happened in the past or
        what might happen in the future. Reminding yourself of this
        will send a message to the intellectual center that the
        awareness is not very interested in rehashing old scenes or
        seeing hypothetical events in the future. This will slowly
        have the effect of decreasing the frequency and intensity
        of these mental images, because the intellectual center
        will slowly get the message that they have little value.
                As your exercise for the week, make a special
        effort to be aware at all times of whether what the
        awareness sees is real, or images from the intellectual
        center. Practice acting on what is happening now, and
        reminding yourself that there is no point in dwelling on
        images of things that are not happening now. Remember that
        even if these are events that did happen in the past or
        might happen in the future, you cannot respond NOW to a
        situation that does not exist NOW. Therefore, dwelling on
        these images or reacting to them is useless (and
        potentially harmful).
                This is a short chapter with a single subject.
        However, it is such a valuable subject that it is well


                                     35
        worth devoting an entire week solely to it. It also will be
        worth continuing to do for the rest of your life.




















































                                     36

                                 Chapter 8

                            Thoughts to Ponder



                In the first chapter, we discussed seeing thoughts
        as separate from the awareness. We discussed seeing these
        thoughts as suggestions that could be acted on or rejected
        once we saw them as separate from the real awareness. In
        the chapters that followed, we discussed many specific
        thoughts and emotions from the viewpoint of seeing that
        most of these actually had little value under most
        circumstances and would best be rejected as suggestions. In
        this chapter, we will toss out a few ideas (many of which
        have been discussed in the previous chapters) that can be
        valuable to consider when some of those suggestions come
        into the awareness.

                                  *****

                When any suggestion that you do something comes
        into the awareness, you ALWAYS have at least two choices.
        You can obey the suggestion, or you can reject it. The
        thought that you MUST (have to, need to, etc.) do something
        is always wrong. You always have the option of simply not
        doing anything about the current situation. You can accept
        it, and allow yourself to experience it without resisting.
        Although our culture often glamorizes struggling against
        impossible odds, being able to accept what you cannot
        change is a valuable ability.

                                  *****

                You can only respond to and deal with the situation
        at hand, as it is NOW. There is nothing you can do to
        change the past. You cannot respond to a situation in the
        future until the future arrives and the situation occurs.
        Concentrating on what is happening now and responding
        appropriately to it is the most the most useful use of your
        energy.

                                  *****

                Many people have a mental picture of the way they
        would like things to be, of some ideal situation. They then
        expend all their energy trying to achieve this ideal
        situation, no matter how impractical or unrealistic it is.
        It is more constructive to look realistically at what the
        situation is, then see what small improvement you can make
        in this situation, rather than complaining because the


                                     37
        situation is not perfect. There is an old saying that it is
        better to light one little candle than to curse the
        darkness.

                                  *****

                Although the suggestions that come into the
        awareness often are expressed in extremes, the situation is
        never totally "bad." There is always something desirable or
        useful in every situation. It can be very valuable to see
        the benefit of any situation. For one thing, it will
        improve your mental health. For another, once you have seen
        what is valuable about the situation, you can start putting
        that value to some use and making the value grow.

                                  *****

                If nothing else, every unpleasant situation gives
        you a chance to strengthen yourself by overcoming it.
        Consider the possibility that the real purpose of life is
        personal growth and development, rather than the
        accumulation of personal wealth or the experiencing of
        personal pleasure. If you can look at it that way, every
        experience you have can be interesting and enriching.

                                  *****

                When any thought that takes the form of a belief
        ("I believe that . . .") comes into the awareness, it can
        be valuable to ask yourself what is the source of that
        belief. Is it something you experienced yourself, or did
        you accept something someone else told you? If someone else
        told you this, does that person actually have any real
        basis for their belief, or were they simply repeating
        something they heard?

                                  *****

                When a certain situation occurs, we will often
        associate it with a previous situation and think it is
        exactly the same. It is not. No two situations are ever
        exactly the same. Before you react to a situation as if it
        were the same as a previous situation, stop and look at how
        the situation is different. Ask yourself how these
        differences might affect how you can respond to the
        situation.

                                  *****

                The phrase "I should" or "You should" has no real
        meaning. When it comes into your awareness, try to pinpoint
        exactly what it means.


                                     38

                                  *****

                You cannot do two things at the same time,
        especially when they are mutually contradictory. When two
        contradictory suggestions come into the awareness (usually
        something like "I must" and "I must not"), pick one to act
        on and drop the other COMPLETELY. Do not try to do both. Of
        course, you also can always decide not to accept either
        suggestion.

                                  *****

                It is not necessary (or even possible) to get rid
        of any thoughts that are bothering you. All you can do (and
        all you need to do) is observe that they are separate from
        you, that they are just suggestions, and that you do not
        have to act on them or accept them.

                                  *****

                There is no value in blaming someone (or something)
        for an unpleasant situation. If a situation exists, then it
        exists. Period. Attempting to place blame for it will
        accomplish nothing. It will only create turmoil, both
        within you and between you and the person or thing you
        place blame on. Your time is more constructively spent
        doing what you can about the situation.

                                  *****

                No situation lasts forever. If things seem really
        bad (unpleasant), just wait a while and things will get
        better. Of course, you are free to make whatever
        contribution to helping them get better that you can.

                                  *****

                When you make something important to you (when you
        think in terms of "must" or "need" or "have to") you create
        great inner turmoil and anxiety. When you find this
        happening, stop and ask yourself if achieving this thing is
        worth this inner turmoil. You might just decide to give up
        the struggle for this thing that you thought was so
        important. Interestingly enough, once you have fully and
        really realized that you are free to give up this thing you
        though you "must" have, you can pursue it freely without
        anxiety.

                                  *****

                There is an old saying that "Nothing is good or


                                     39
        bad, but thinking makes it so." That is, a situation is not
        bad until you accept the suggestion that it is. You may
        find almost any situation tolerable or even pleasant (at
        least interesting) if you do not accept the suggestion that
        it is bad and you must change it.

                                  *****

                There are two kinds of freedom: Being free from all
        unpleasant situations, and being free from the control of
        the thoughts and emotions by learning to see that they are
        not us and we do not have to accept them. The first type of
        freedom is impossible to ever attain. There will always be
        some unpleasant situations in our lives. The second kind of
        freedom is attainable. It is possible by practice to view
        each thought as a suggestion, to look at each suggestion,
        and decide if we want to act on it (put it into the action
        center). If we select wisely (which we can learn from
        experience to do), if we decide to act only on those ideas
        that are beneficial to us and are possible to act on, we
        will be free from inner turmoil. If we learn to see the
        feelings and emotions that come up from the emotional
        center as sensations that we can live with, even when they
        are unpleasant, we can find that they cannot control us.
        This is real freedom.





























                                     40

                             The Automatic Car

                             A Modern Parable



            Once there was a man who had a nice, new car. He was
        very happy with the fact that he could drive the car
        wherever he wanted to go. After a while, however, he
        thought it would be nice if the car would take him where he
        wanted to go by itself, without him needing to drive it. He
        installed a computer in the car that could learn the routes
        to the places that the man drove to. After the man had
        driven the car someplace, he could tell the computer
        something like "This is the way I go to work. Take me here
        every day from Monday to Friday." or "This is the way to my
        girlfriend's house. Take me here every Friday night" or
        "This is the way to the grocery store. Take me here when I
        am hungry." After a while, the car learned to drive the man
        everywhere that he normally liked to go. The man found this
        so relaxing that he could just get in the car and go to
        sleep, and the car would go where it had learned to drive.
        After a while, the man got so comfortable that he would
        just stay in the car and sleep, and the car would take him
        everywhere.
            This worked all right for a little while, but soon
        problems began to develop. He broke up with his girlfriend
        and got another one, but the car still took him to his old
        girlfriend's house. The grocery store moved to a new
        location, but the car still took him to the old location.
        Sometimes the car took him to work on holiday's when he did
        not need to go to work. Worst of all, sometimes there were
        obstructions in the road, like road construction or heavy
        traffic. The car did not understand these things, and just
        plowed on through them, which gave the man a very rough
        ride indeed. Unfortunately, the man had gotten so used to
        sleeping in his car, he still let it take him wherever it
        was used to going. He even stopped going to new places,
        because the car did not know how to go there and it seemed
        like so much trouble to wake up and drive himself.
            One day, the man had a very bad day. The car plowed
        through a detour sign and took him over a very bumpy road
        to a place the man really didn't even want to go to. The
        man finally decided to take charge of the car. He
        considered destroying the computer, but he realized that
        some of the information in the computer was still worth
        keeping. He checked the computer's memory and threw out all
        the old routes that took him places he no longer wanted to
        go or took him where he wanted in an inefficient way. He
        left in the routes that were still good. However, he also
        developed an override switch that allowed him to take over


                                     41
        if he saw obstacles in the way or changed his mind about
        where he wanted to go. Then he resolved to stay awake and
        watch where he was going so the computer would only be a
        servant and not control where he went.


















































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