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1993-07-24
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Xref: iat.holonet.net alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die:895 alt.wesley.crusher.die.die.die:68
Newsgroups: alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die,alt.wesley.crusher.die.die.die
Path: iat.holonet.net!psinntp!psinntp!news.columbia.edu!sol.ctr.columbia.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!agate!boulder!ucsu!horton.Colorado.EDU!lofdahl
From: lofdahl@horton.Colorado.EDU (LOFDAHL COREY LOWELL)
Subject: Super Meta Hyper Revelation
Message-ID: <1993Jul19.224031.25851@ucsu.Colorado.EDU>
Summary: all is explained
Keywords: incredible revelation, spine tingling deduction
Sender: news@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (USENET News System)
Nntp-Posting-Host: horton.colorado.edu
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 1993 22:40:31 GMT
Lines: 54
I was just pondering Gerry drivel instead of working, when an
incredible revelation made its presence in my cranium known
to me. Indeed, yea and verily, the following Gerry drivel
is the critical piece of information, the key datum that makes
all clear:
>> ... I wish I was born two decades later so
>> that I would grow up with the "Barney generation".
Do you remember the Star Trek episode with the "friendly angel"
who makes all the kids on the planet surface want to kill Kirk
as well as the rest of of adultery? Do you remember how they
summoned him? Do you know how the hated Purple PBS Beast/666 (tm)
appears at the beginning of his brainwashing sessions --
I mean TV shows? This incredible revelation is just too
astounding and incredible. Let's see, how does the chant go?
Hail, hail, fire and snow
For the Angel, we shall go
Far away, far to see
Friendly Angel come to me
It's so simple its brilliant! It all fits together now --
Barney, the Weekly World News, the Horse-Boy, Baby Bop, Gerry,
Gene Roddenberry, Kirk, Picard, Rush Limbaugh, the grassy knoll,
shrimp, plate, plate of shrimp, Gilbert Gottfried, PBS,
Bill Moyers, men finding themselves, the Borg, assimilation --
*> BARNEY IS THE "FRIENDLY" ANGEL FROM STAR TREK IN DISGUISE! <*
You see, after that Star Trek episode, we know what this Angel
guy looks like. His goal remains the same, to destroy all that
is mature and intelligent and stain free, but we KNOW this guy
after Roddenberry alerted us to the danger. But now he's on PBS in
a purple freak outfit (tm) so we don't recognize him. As if this
wasn't enough, there's more. Wesley Crusher is in fact an agent
sent by Barney to infiltrate The Next Generation. His mission?
To exact revenge from the show that forced Barney/Friendly Angel
to don the hateful purple fungus suit (tm). Wesley is there to
sabotage otherwise successful plots with his weasely, weeny-esque
presence. If Barney/Friendly Angel were to do the job himself,
then Next Generation cast members would figure out it was him from
their tricorder readings and kill him with their phasers, or maybe
a well-placed photon torpedo.
I'd continue, but I'm tired now, and it's time for my medication.
-- Corey Stone
p.s. I just can't figure out how Gerry fits into all this.
Oh yeah, he's also an agent, sent by Barney to infiltrate
the newsgroup. Yeah that's the ticket. I can't rally be
sure though, everything's getting hazy ...