Monster Media 1993 #2/Image.iso/text/barney2.zip/873

Text File | 1993-07-24 | 2KB | 36 lines

Newsgroups: alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die
Path: iat.holonet.net!kendall
From: [e-mail] (Kendall Willets)
Subject: General Dinosaur Hatred
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Organization: HoloNet National Internet Access System: 510-704-1058/modem
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 1993 04:39:55 GMT


I just got back from a trip to Japan, and the whole country is being taken
over by the evil anti-movie "Jurassic Park" and its lesser derivative, a
kiddie film called "Rex" featuring an obnoxious little brat and her baby
dinosaur friend that I would love to see beheaded by a samurai sword and
spurting blood all over the runt while she cries "Rekuza! Rekuza!" in
Japanese.  Everywhere one goes, in the streets, the subways, and on
television, there are ads for some sort of dinosaur kitsch, and what's
amazing is that the natives there do so little in retaliation.

It is obvious that "cute" dinosaurs and dinosaurs in general represent
nothing less than a global plot to take over the world by destroying
people's individuality.  Sony corporation, no longer content with simply
paying off politicians, is now pushing dinosaur movies as a means of
gaining direct control over the public, and it seems obvious that the
Barney phenomenon is nothing less than a plot to transform American
society into a conformist, corporate-controlled hell similar to Tokyo.
Speilberg, Barney, and so forth are the agents of this malevolent force of
evil and must be stopped.  The only way to overcome this satanic plot is
to produce lots of films of dinosaurs being hacked, burned, and
dismembered, and to show them to small children.  In fact, this whole
phenomenon would disappear if people would just become aware of the fact
that dinosaurs were ugly, smelly creatures which farted constantly and
were covered by giant carbuncles which spurted black pus all over anyone
standing near them.