home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
Monster Media 1993 #2
/
Image.iso
/
magazine
/
sun9307.zip
/
FEA1
< prev
next >
Wrap
Text File
|
1993-06-15
|
4KB
|
84 lines
Cancer: Surviving The Fear
Copyright (c) 1993, Joe DeRouen
All rights reserved
Nearly one year ago today, my wife was diagnosed as having terminal
cancer. She has atypical Mycosis Fungoites, which is a rare form of
lymphoma. Atypical means it isn't typical, so what it boils down to is
that she had a rare form of a rare form of cancer.
In other words, almost no one else in the world has exactly what she has.
This has been maddening but has also given us hope. The doctors refuse
to give us a life prognosis, saying that she could live as little as
three years or as long as thirty. They just don't KNOW. She's skipped
certain stages in the "normal" progression of the disease, and gotten to
other levels before she should have. In every sense of the world, her
case is abnormal.
Heather's engaged in topical radiation therapy, PUVA light therapy,
Interferon injections, steroids, and several other drugs and treatments.
Sometime in the next two years, her doctors should know whether or not
her disease will go into remission.
The point of this article isn't to educate the readers of STTS on
cancer, nor is it to bring "get-well" mail to my wife.
When we discovered that she had cancer and had possibly lost years to
her life, we also discovered that we had lost something almost as
precious: friends. Before she was diagnosed we had several friends, all
open, intelligent, and generally good people. We now have very few, and
of those we DO have, fewer still feel comfortable talking about her
disease. Of her family, only Heather's mother will openly talk about it,
and even then you can tell she's uncomfortable.
"How're you doing?" They'll ask, not really wanting to know. Anything
more than a "Fine, thanks." and they close themselves off, and
physically leave the room if possible.
We're all afraid of death, and anything that reminds us of our own
mortality brings us a step closer to that Ultimate End. It's human
nature to hide from what we fear or don't understand, to bury our heads
deep beneath the covers of our life.
It doesn't have to be this way. Heather's still the same bright, warm,
funny woman that she was before she got sick. She still has the same
dreams, hopes, wishes, and ambitions. She's still the kindest women I've
ever had the pleasure to know. She doesn't deserve to be shunned from
those who once claimed her friendship, nor to be forced to pretend that
there's nothing wrong when there most definitely is.
I, too, have fallen prey to this most human failing. In the beginning, I
was strong and tried my best to be There For Her. As time went by, I
became frightened. What if her life span was to be closer to the three
years than the thirty? I'm 24. I didn't want to be left alone in the
prime of my life. For a while, I ran as far away mentally as I possibly
could.
I consider myself to be of above-average intelligence, open, honest, and
accepting of those different than me. One of the "enlightened crowd", if
you will. Yet here I was, running away from the woman who loved me more
than anyone else ever had, and who I, in turn, love with all of my
heart. It had to stop somewhere. And it did.
If you have a friend of relative who suffers from a handicap, who has
cancer or AIDS, who needs your support.. Go to them. Be their friend,
love them. Remember that, deep down, where it really counts, they're the
person that you know and love. Time is precious and the time we're given
to share the love within us all is far too often brief. Take advantage of
it. Listen to them, and, whatever you do, don't run away. If you do,
come back.
There are a multitude of support groups and counseling services out there
that will help you come to terms with your loved one's situation. If you
find you're having problems dealing with it on your own, seek one of
these out. Don't feel silly or bad for doing so. Believe me, you're not
alone. Look through the yellow pages under "counseling" or "support
groups" and look for a group or orginization that specializes in the
disease or handicap that you need help in coping with.
Sooner or later, we all die. Accept that, and you can get on with what's
important in life: living.