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Monster Media 1993 #2
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S&M-00
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1993-06-20
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3KB
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49 lines
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░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░You Call That Service?!?░░░░░░░by Michael Hahn
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"Customer harassment" ought to be a crime. Instead, it seems
to the order of the day. Somewhere along the way, someone must
have decided service meant "annoy the customer until he buys
something." Personally, I think it was Sam Walton . . .
So what am I babbling about? Anyone over the age of twenty-
five can remember when you could enter a retail store, browse
quietly for a few minutes, then leave. Not any more.
Let's take a trip to Your Favorite Computer Store. As you
walk in the door, a person with a plastic smile and a plastic
nametag leaps from a niche by the entrance. "Welcome to Your
Favorite Computer Store," he or she says, "how are you today."
No, that last phrase is not a question. It's one of those
scripted phrases that has ceased to have a meaning, like "Have a
nice day."
You flee the artificial intelligence at the door for the
relative safety of the software aisles. Guess what? A besmiled,
be-buttoned clerk intercepts you with a, "May I help you find
something?" on his lips. You shake your head, mumble, "No thanks.
I'm just browsing." It doesn't work. Clerk #1 hovers a few feet
away, pretending to straighten the merchandise on the shelves. As
soon as you pick up a box to read the advertising copy, Clerk #1
swoops. "Are you familiar with that product, sir?" You snarl,
then scamper into the next aisle.
Clerk #2 was waiting within earshot of your exchange with
Clerk #1, but he nevertheless asks, "May we help you find
something?" You whimper, then scurry for the door to the real
world in defeat. The ordeal isn't over, though--another animated
mannequin with a lapel button interposes himself between you and
the door, drones, "Come back soon. Have a nice day."
Ack. All I want to do is browse. The really annoying part of
this is when you *do* want to ask a clerk a question--there isn't
a one to be found.
Attention store owners: How about a lot less "service" and a
little more help?
Note: Lest you think this afflicts only computer stores, try any
Wal-Mart, K-Mart, or (saints preserve us!) bookstore. It's a
disease, and it's spreading. Beware of any store that calls its
clerks and sales staff "associates".
-end-
Copyright (c) 1993 Michael Hahn