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Monster Media 1993 #2
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1993-07-01
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Things That Go Bump in the Hard Drive
by Ray Koziel
Man has been trying to prove the existence of ghosts and spirits for
generations. In this attempt to prove their existence, various
classifications have been made. An example is "poltergeist", which
classifies ghosts that tend to be mischievous and playful. Recently
there appeared a new category of ghosts - "cybergeists." These are
ghosts which inhabit computers and are able to somehow communicate
with them directly.
The first reports of a cybergeist comes from Paris, France. An
accountant by the name of Jean-Claude Beaubien believes his computer
is inhabited by the ghost of Napoleon. "I recall my first encounter
quite well," Jean-Claude explains. "I like to play chess, so at work
I have a PC version of a chess game that I play on break. One day I
was playing the game and was getting frustrated because I could not
beat the computer. Then, right before my eyes, one of the pieces
moved without me touching the keyboard! I was amazed! It was that
move that showed me what I needed to do and I eventually won the
game. Since then I've had similar help with my games and I began to
realize that this could not be a virus - there was some kind of
entity inside my PC! One day I tried asking him what his name was
and the word 'Napoleon' appeared on the screen. With the skill and
strategy he displays while playing chess I feel this ghost must be
the spirit of Napoleon Bonaparte himself!"
Another report of cybergeist activity comes from Susan Gudenbed, a
secretary in New York City. "I've always been one to run a tight
ship. I don't like letting files clutter around so as soon as I feel
I'm finished with something I delete it off my PC. I can't stand
having all these files taking up space on my disk drive. About a
month ago I erased a bunch of files pertaining to a proposal my boss
was working on. The proposal never fell through so I felt I could
get rid of the data. The next morning I came into work and all the
files were back on my PC! My first idea was I thought I erased them
but actually forgot to so I just deleted them again. The next
morning the same thing happened! I thought I was beginning to loose
my mind! But that same day my boss rushed up to me asking for the
data in those files. It appears the other party had second thoughts
on the proposal and wanted to look at the figures again. There must
have been something in my PC which somehow kept me from completely
deleting those files as it knew I would need them. Now I am
convinced that some sort of spirit exists in my PC because it has
helped me many times recovering files I thought had been lost."
It appears that not all cybergeists have good intentions. There have
also been reports about PCs suffering from the worst disk crashes and
program anomalies yet there were no viruses or hardware problems
detected. It could only mean the existence of cybergeists.
Ronald Wizzbanger, expert in the study of ghost and paranormal
activities, shares his views about the existence of cybergeists.
"The possibility of the existence of ectocyber-activity is
phenomenal! If ghosts are able to inhabit and haunt houses and such,
why not a computer? This could be the lead we've been waiting for in
advancing artificial intelligence by studying how spirits can
interface with the circuitry of a PC. Also imagine being able to
transfer someone's spirit from the human body into that of an android
- thereby extending that person's existence. Why, the possibilities
of this technology could be endless!"
What do you think? Are cybergeists real or just fabrications to
cover for miscoded programs and human error? We may never know for
certain, but if your PC begins to act a bit out of the ordinary,
don't rush for the virus scanners. Your PC may have just turned into
a new home for someone beyond the grave! {RAH}
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Ray Koziel is a systems programmer (C++ and Pascal) for Blue Cross
Blue Shield of IL's EMC-Net, a private bulletin board used for
electronic submission of insurance claims. Living in Chicago with a
wife, a new baby boy and two dogs, Ray has found RAH helpful in
keeping his insanity. FidoNet: 1:115/542 (The Loonatic Fringe BBS)
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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks,
"Do you want mustard with that?"