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1994-02-20
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School Anarchy
Written by Loki in a fit of madness
All junior and high school people with an IQ above that of a small rock
hate school. It's inevitable, what with the stupid teachers and totalitarian
administrators. In this text phile, there are some kool ways on phucking up
your school and administrators.
-->The buses
Do the crowded, stinky conditions of riding on a school bus really,
really piss you off? I know that I hate buses... so here are some ways to
make the bus driver mad, phuck up the bus, and generally have a good time--
these methods are going from least risky to punishable by death >:)
1. Emergency exits
Those new school buses- have you noticed they have about ten billion
emergency exits? The window exits usually have a small handle looking
rather like a window latch at the bottom of the window. Pull it up
gradually until the buzzer (up by the driver) goes off. Look around in
confusion and pretend you don't know what's going on. When the bus driver
stops the bus and begins to walk back, push down on it, all the way.
This will shut off the alarm. The bus driver will go back to his/her seat
and continue driving. Two to three minutes later, pull up the handle again.
Continue this cycle either until you get off the bus or until the bus
driver pulls out a shotgun. The former option is preferable in this case.
2. Throw stuff
This may seem simple, but it's a really great way to piss off the driver,
especially if you aim the objects you're throwing at the driver's head.
These objects can be torn-off pencil erasers, broken pencil stubs,
globs of clay, nails, glass shards, beer bottles, molitov cocktails, or
vials of sulfuric acid...
3. Throw stuff at oncoming cars
This is cool, depending on what you throw out... A seat in the back is
the best, because by the time the object hits or goes thru the driver's
window, the bus is already gone... Interesting things to throw are pencils,
rows of staples (stolen from the teacher's desk of course), various
foodstuffs including soft drinks, apples, oranges, grapefruit and watermelon;
and smaller students.
Note: Generally, the heavier the object thrown, the more punishment if
you're caught.
4. Do evil stuff to the bus's interior/exterior
This includes such things as slashing open the seats so the padding falls
out, putting nails up thru the bottom of the seat so the next person who
sits down will get a nice surprise, and stabbing holes in one or more tires
so the bus breaks down, and in the confusion you can do even more evil
things-- use your imagination!
5. Set off explosives on the bus
Here comes my favorite part. Explosives, in this case, means everything from
firecrackers to large quantities of plastic explosive. Lighting a circular
explosive and rolling it forward/backward down the aisle will have an evil
effect- and the blame will usually not be placed on you. This is rather low-
level phun with explosives. The real phun comes when you leave a timed
explosive on the bus and walk away from your bus stop, chuckling, while the
bus and its hapless victims explode (if you made it right!)
Alright, that's all I can think of on the buses, and if I think of any more,
I'll write another text phile, if i'm not too lazy...
-->Computer labs
OK, i know most of you out there can think of 100 ways to fuck up your
school's network, but here are some easy ways to do it, again ranging from
easiest to hardest.
1. Pull out the wires from someone else's computer.
The network wires (the ones that look like fone lines) are what lets the
computer communicate with the network. If you are a single computer on a hub,
it won't do much damage, but if several computers are hooked into one slot on
the network hub, you can down all the computers on your little node...
2. Send evil things to the network.
If you're in a programming class, use the language you're learning to send
random, constant data to the Ethernet card-- they're in COM1 in the computers
at our school--this usually just screws up the computers on your node, but
sometimes it confuses the hub and gets it screwed up, and it has to be reset,
along with all the computers attached...
3. Phuck with the floppy drives.
An abrasive disk can be made with sandpaper and an old 3.5" disk. This will
destroy the read/write heads on the disk drive.
Open up the disk, and take out the black disk. Cut away all the plastic stuff
that's actually the disk. Cut a circular piece of sandpaper out, approximately
the same size as the disk, and glue it in place. Strip away the white kleenex-
like material stuff on the inside. Then glue the disk back together, making
sure it looks normal. Put the metal shutter back on for best effect.
This one is a real killer, especially if you have dos access- keep choosing
<R>etry when it says there's a disk error...
WARNING: Depending on what type of sendpaper you use, this may make a strange
noise, both when the disk spins and when it tries to read from the disk.
4. Phuck with the network hub.
a. Simple, but risky. Simply slash all wires going to it, aside from the power
wire... or unplug them, for non-destructive fun.
b. Create a neat-o device that does neat things... Take the end of an
electric cord and cut it off. Do the same with a 4-line fone wire. Take
the red and green wires from the fone cord, and splice them to the wires
in the electric wall cord. Unplug any cord ya want, then plug in the fone-
jack end of your device. Then plug the other end into the wall. Fun
things can occur...
c. Take the network hub.
If you have one of those huge book bags, do this: unplug all the cords
from the network hub and steal it. This will certainly disable the net
work for a while...
5. Phuck with the actual server.
a. Grab the teacher's coffee cup and pour the contents into one of the
server's numerous orifices.
b. Unplug it/turn it off. Screws things up majorly, especially if they're
doing a backup.
c. Insert a sandpaper DAT tape into the tape drive... here's how to make one:
Get a DAT tape (steal this- they cost too much to tear up!)
Take out all the tape inside of it.
Make a loop of sandpaper and string it around inside the cassette, so it's
tightly looped around the two hubs and everthing else.
Put the cassette back together, and you have a nifty thing.
d. Remove the feet sticking out from the sides (if it's a server) and
either tip it over yourself or balance it so the slightest motion will.
These tips can help you really phuck up your computer lab--really helpful
if your archenemy (who happens to be in your computer class) has to load
a crucial project off of disk on the day it's due and inserts it, only to
have it ruined because the drive's R/W heads were phucked.
-->Lockers
Alright, so we all have them, and we all hate them, but they're a great
way to cost your school and/or the previously mentioned archenemy mucho
dinero...
1. Finding locker numbers/combinations
This may sound stupid, but a lot may be done with your schools' lockers
if you can get some locker numbers...
In offices they have lists of numbers & combinations, if you feel like
stealing them from there, but the easiest way is just to look around.
Many times a person will tell his friend, very loudly, that his
combination is XX-XX-XX. Note the number of the locker and write it down
for later use.
Another way is seeing peoples' locker cards. These are given out either
in the mail, or the way my school does it, on the first day of school in
homeroom. Look around the room to find other peoples' locker cards, and
keep the numbers & combos. This is not only helpful if the person is your
archenemy, but if you want to plant a bomb or other equally evil device.
2. Dial phun
The lockers at school will either have a dial attached to the locker or a
separate combination lock for this purpose. For most of these ideas, it
won't matter very much.
a. Dial sticking
This is the easiest, and less risky, way of phucking up someone's
locker. This may be achieved in one of three ways:
1. Melt the plastic
Bring your favorite lighter to school and use it to melt the
plastic dial. Requires purchase of a new comb. lock or locker
door. <Note: This method works the best, although hard to pull
off, since you have to keep it hot for a long time...
2. Glue the dial to the door
This one, aside from the method above, is the most obvious to
spot after the glue has dried.
3. Glue the inside of the lock
The dials on our school's lockers are attached to the door and
have locks in the center of the dial where janitors can open the
locker if the dial's phucked...
A good combination is gluing the dial to the door (so it won't
move) and then gluing the inside of the lock. This requires a
crowbar to remove the door and get to the locker's contents.
b. Phucking with the locker's contents
This is the easiest way to phuck someone over by use of a locker.
1. Hate messages
If your victim is rather faint of heart and easily scared, you
can terrorize him by making hate notes.
You can either do this on a typewriter, computer, or newspaper
letters. Handwritten notes are easier to trace. This can say
something like, "Stop phucking with me, asshole, or i'll blow
you to hell."
2. Water
The stuff in a locker can easily be ruined by liquids. $150 in
books is not fun to replace, and you should see the look on
someone's face when they open their locker and all of their books
are soaked in some strange liquid.
After school, obtain one of the janitors' buckets. Find a bottom
locker to pour the soapy shit into, and pour away. Then replace
the bucket and get the hell out, because the janitor will
be suspicious if he notices his bucket is half empty, a nearby
locker has water running out of the bottom, and you are standing
nearby.
Good liquids to use are: Soapy water, fruit juice/kool-aid,
various oils, strange-colored dyes, and gasoline (more on
gasoline later!)
3. Fire
It's great to watch someone's face when they open their locker
and find all the shit in there has been burned to ashes.
There are some advantages and disadvantages to this quick
destruction. The advantages are that destruction is quick,
damage is high, and there will be little evidence. The
disadvantages of this are that smoke will leak out of the vents
(a good reason to do this LATE after school!), the locker, being
metal, will be hot to the touch, and that many flammable fuels
will have a distinct and pungent odor, especially gasoline.
A good way to do this is:
Pour the flammable liquid of your choice through the vents.
Wait about a minute for it to soak in.
Light the end of a piece of paper and slip it thru the vents.
Get the hell out. I mean, leave school totally.
c. Locker ==--DEATH--==
Some ways to cause death by way of lockers in a few ways.
1. Bomb
Most obvious one. You can either have a relay switch to trigger
the bomb when the locker is opened, during school time, or set
the bomb to go off sometime when the halls are busy.
This is an easy way to cause utter chaos in a crowded hall.
Imagine your school's hall, people trudging along, and suddenly,
>BOOM!!< 10 feet in front of you an explosion occurs, blowing the
locker door off and immolating the contents of the locker in
flames. People run everywhere, screaming, as you smile at what
you have done.
2. Electricution
In Phrack Issue #3, there is an article on making a shock rod.
I strongly suggest you get this magazine-- it has many articles
on anarchy and stuff. I am not putting the info in this phile--
I'm sure text-phile lovers are tired of seeing the same info
repeated over and over in phile after phile...
3. Triggered attack
This refers to triggering some kind of device like a gun when the
locker is opened. An example is mounting a knife on a spring and
having it shoot out at your archenemy when his locker is opened.
Well, that's it right now for the lockers... If i think up any more nifty
ways of anarchy through lockers, I'll include them in another text phile.
-->School events
Don't we all hate the mindless pep rallies held, when everyone's supposed
to get up and show your school spirit? And those stupid school assemblies
where the principal repeats the same pre-digested crap he's been feeding
us since 5th grade? And the stupid morning and afternoon announcements
where they read the same thing, week after boring week? Here's some ways
to juice up that boring pep rally, or put some variety in the
announcements...
a. Pep Rallies
1. Show your School Spirit
Show your endless support for your school's athletics department
by wearing a shirt that says, "SCHOOL SPIRIT SUX", or maybe
getting a couple of friends to help you run around with a sign
saying "<name of school you're playing> RULES!!!"
On school spirit days, wear another school's clothes and colors--
I've found this pisses off the cheerleaders to no end!!
2. The actual pep rally
At the pep rally!! What fun! Watch the airheaded cheerleaders
bounce around chanting strange things no one can even hear!
A good thing to do is, when it's silent, scream out, "Violence
rules! Guns are cool! And we've got guns, in our school!!!"
Or throw things at the cheerleaders! Get empty (or full) coke
cans and throw them at the cheerleaders from way up high in
the stands! The fun will start when you nail one in the head
with a full coke can... or a water balloon!!
3. The game
a. Football game
Go down onto the field and run around and try to phuck up
what the players are doing... For example, you could throw
out another football right when play is intense... This
really causes confusion...they won't know which is which!
Put on the padding and uniform, etc. of one of the teams
playing. Carefully sneak out onto the field and cost one of
the teams massive penalties for doing evil things...For
example, you could flip off the ref and tell him he's a
dumbass...
b. Basketball game
Carry with you some kind of slippery liquid, oil or
something... Before the game, spread it over as much of
the court as you can. Then watch the teams have phun trying
to run...
There will most certainly be a score thingy to control the
scoreboard. If you get a chance, open it up and have a non-
descript wire run out from the side or back. Attach this wire
to the button to advance the other team's points by 1. Then,
before the game starts, run a wire from the top of the
bleachers, to where you will be sitting (have a friend hold
the place for ya) and then, right before the game, hook the
two wires together. Whenever you touch the wires on your end
together, it'll advance the other team's score by one.
Really crafty...and hard to detect, too!
That's just about all the ways to phuck up school sporting events that
I can think of now...
-->Well, that's all I can think of now...
Look for School@2.txt, coming soon from Loki!
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▒▒▒▓▓▓▓████·············!Stacked Deck!··············████▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒
▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓██████::::::::::::DnANet Cincinnati::::::::::::██████▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒
░░░▒▒▒▓▓▓█████████ Trinity: SysOp █████████▓▓▓▒▒▒░░░
▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓██████ Rion Wulfe: CoSysOp ██████▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒
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DnANet Node: 66:513/0
PODNet Node: 93:9001/7
PlatinumNET: 93:6513/5