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knight.txt
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1993-12-11
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138 lines
THE LOWLY KNIGHT
KNIGHT : Ye fiend! How darest thou insult mine courage and grace! How
Darest thou insult what is most dear to me and leave none for else!
I shall have thee know, that I shall, I SHALL thrash thee to a pulp, thou
insolent wench for a squire!
KING : What? He beeth a wench? How repulsive!
MAIDENS : Oh! Sick! The unmaidenly wench.
KNIGHT : Here Sire! Here is the sword of the heinous knight. I hath earned
it from him in a fair fight!
Maidens : sigh....
Narrator : maidens begin surround the knight.
Squire : But sir! I hath defeated the dragon!
King : What dragon? We were talking about a knight with purple dots... etc.
Squire : I hath proof sire! Here is the tongue of the wretched dragon!
King : What dragon! There is no dragon in this story! You fool! Where did
you steal that tongue from? The local butcher?
Chorus : Ahahhahahahahahahhaha! the foul fool.! hahahahahhahahahahahaha!
King : I
Chorus : Shut up!!!
King : i
Chorus : Shut up!!!!
Squire : This is the tongue of the dragon that was holding the heinous
knight's sword! I had thrashed the dragon, fighting and pleading for help
from the most cowardous knight of mine, when he slipped past, thinking that
there was a beautiful maiden hidden in the cave. While I fearlessly fought
the dragon. While I was thrashing, I saw that the weakling had gone behind
and discovered a knight that was tied down. He stole the sword to take some
credit, ran away and left me to fight the dragon. He thought that I was
soon to meet Death, so he left me for none. I, here, have thouroughly
thrashed the dragon and the knight after I untied him and left both for none.
Chorus : Yeah! Yeah!!
King : But she is a maiden! She can't fight! No maidens are allowed to
fight!
Chorus : Shut up you dumb oaf!
King : You shut...
Chorus : No you shut up!
King : no...
Chorus : Shut up!!!
King : n
Chorus : Shut up!!!!!!!
Squire : I demand to be king!
Chorus : You are our leader!
Squire(now a king, really but for names sake it will be kept the same as
always) : I want the knight tied down to a bench and forced to drink beer
and eat potato chips and dragons' tongues for the rest of his life!
Chorus : He will be tied down and forced to drink beer and potato chips and
dragons' tongues for the rest of his life!
Squire : you forget the bench
Chorus : He will be tied down TO A BENCH and forced to drink beer and potato
chips and dragons' tongues for the rest of his life!
Knight (now a squire, really but for names sake it will be kept the same as
allways) : No!! No!!! anything but potato chips and beer! Anything!
Squire : Lima beans?
Chorus : Yes, yes lima beans!!
Knight : well, maybe not lima beans.
Squire : brussel sprouts?
Chorus : Yes, yes, brussel sprouts!!
Knight : well, maybe not lima beans.
Squire : a freshly baked crossant bun from Germany split in half, with a
slice of melted Wisconsin Cheese, a fresh slice of ham and a tomato?
Chorus : yes, yes, a freshly baked crossant bun from Germany split in half,
with a slice of melted Wisconsin Cheese, a fresh slice of ham and a tomato!!
Knight : well, I really don't like the Wisconsin cheese, Californian cheese
is much better than Wisc...
Squire : enough!!! I shan't take this insolence. To the dungeon with you!!
Chorus : to the dungeon with you!! yup yup!!!
Squire : Being your new king, I also demand three meals a day, a castle, and
two dogs that can hop on two feet in a circle.
Chorus : You are our leader!
Squire : I want a castle!
Chorus : (muttering)
Squire : I said I want three meals a day!!
Chorus : muttering!!
Squire : I want two dogs that can hop on two feet in a circle!!!
Chorus : shut up.
Squire : what hath my loyal subjects said to me?!!
Chorus : shut up!!!
Narrator : the once bold king, has become passive, submissive, and willing to
respond. In other words, adamant. Until one day....
Squire : Sir, sir! I have terrible news!
The DogCatcher