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1997-02-05
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_________________________________________________________________
Welcome to issue TWO of GARGANTUA supplement!
(life can never be too disorienting.)
_________________________________________________________________
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Contents (c) 1997 DanoZano
Email to danozano@juno.com
_________________________________________________________________
C O N T E N T S
_________________________________________________________________
enclosed: the usual assortment of anomalous data, plus an article
on the P.I.M.P. data transfer protocol, and an extensive write-up
on the biggest underground drug phenomenon to hit California in a
decade -- teabagging. Don't miss this one!
_________________________________________________________________
Notes from Under My Desk
_________________________________________________________________
I think we'll start this one off as a hodgepodge of miscellany,
and work toward order from there. No plan again this time, just
another flowing glurping river of mental lava. But it works okay
for me. This is what I've come to like about the self-publishing
factor at work, since I can basically steer this thing anywhere I
see fit, and you the consumer get to take up the slack by hanging
on around the sharper corners. You never know what you'll get in
an issue of GARrGAaNnTUAa supplement, so be sure you have current
vaccinations and wash your hands twice before touching your eyes.
_________________________________________________________________
L E A R N I N G C A N B E F U N
-if you're not a dolt-
_________________________________________________________________
Presented here is a timeline of various crucial turning points in
world history. I only picked certain events, since an exhaustive
list of all events in world history would be prohibitively large.
Keep in mind that these are all straight from _Ribbons In Time_,
edited by Frank Wallis, ISBN 1-555-84255-0, and are not a product
of my fevered imagination. I did _not_ create the events in this
part. I have nothing to do with events which took place before I
was born, yadda yadda. And just to keep it short, I have left my
own commentary out, forcing you to draw all your own conclusions
It's a cruel world where I can write stuff like this without even
holding your hand while you read it. =)
_________________________________________________________________
875: Arab travellers in China report having seen toilet paper.
1518: Forks used for first time, at a banquet in Venice.
1549: Dwarfs and cripples appeared as court jesters in Europe.
1565: Pencils were first used in England.
1569: Bottled beer was invented by Alexander Nowell,
dean of St. Paul's in London.
1615: First coin-operated vending machine: put a coin in the slot,
open the drawer, and take out the loose tobacco. Used in
English taverns.
1644: Swedish ten _daler_ coin, weighing twenty pounds, first
minted. (If made of silver, this coin would be about six
inches across and two thick.)
ca1650: First English coffeehouse appears.
1660: Pencil factory opened in Nuremberg by Friedrich Staedtler.
1695: England's first drinking fountain, in Hammersmith,
London, by Sir Samuel Morland.
1731: Barbers in France were prohibited from performing surgery.
1784: Lt. Henry Shrapnel invented and tested shrapnel in Scotland.
1847: First evaporated milk.
1871: Earliest use in America of toilet paper in
roll form. Patent issued to Seth Wheeler.
1877: First shipment of frozen meat from the Argentine to Europe.
1884: Tetanus bacilli discovered by Arthur Nicolaier.
1899: Aspirin was first marketed.
1909: Bakelite made by Leo Baekeland, Belgian chemist in New York.
1938: Lazlo Biro invented the ball-point pen.
1978: Louise Brown, first test-tube baby, born in July.
_________________________________________________________________
P.I.M.P. protocol
_________________________________________________________________
And now, I present the long-awaited details of the Packeted Inline
Messaging Protocol. Unfortunately, the information I have is from a
single torn-out sheet discovered in an undisclosed place, and I have
not run across any new data or specs since. Anyone with data not
covered here might like to forward it to me for a gold star and credit
in some future issue.
(captured conversation follows ...sorry, i'm not sure who TC and PP are)
TC> I mean, I went to school once with a glass fishbowl on my head once
because I got my head stuck in it... that was kinda fun...
speaking of which, anyone know where i can get the ultimate pimp
platforms with the fishbowls built in?
PP> Pimp platforms?
DZ> yeah, this protocol for inter-company communication was developed in
1993, it stands for Packeted Inline Messaging Prot. and it never
caught on really. PIMP isn't really in widescale usage right
now; i believe it's used for private business transactions in the
United Arab Emirate, and perhaps in Punxsutawney. But I do know a
bit about it, and if my schedule clears up at all i plan to write an
introductory article soon. It runs under an Asynchronous Switched
System (hereafter, A.S.S.) which supercedes the older Synchronous
Array Gate Telecommunications Information Transfer System
(hereafter, S.A.G.T.I.T.S.), which as I recall fell out of favor
with the powers that be due to its age and unreliable profits.
(read now the transcribed page of information. Unfortunately, this
sheet seems to be a flyleaf with fairly little actual hard data on
the protocol itself, and yet it provides conclusive evidence of
P.I.M.P.'s existence, as well as a brief glimpse under the hood.)
________________________________________________________
A User's Guide to the Packeted Inline Messaging Protocol
________________________________________________________
(c) 1993 Entropy Reversal Systems, Ltd., Los Angeles, CA
All rights reserved. This document may not be copied, stored,
transmitted or reproduced in any format without the prior written
permission of Entropy Reversal Systems.
________________________________________________________
The Packeted Inline Messaging Protocol was designed to make
communication in nonstandard business environments easier for
professionals and novices alike, with a minimum software footprint
and flexible configuration capacity to conform to a wide variety of
unusual situations. This quick reference guide will explain, in
layman's terms, the protocol itself, and answer some of the more
common questions regarding implementation and installation. For a
more technical look at a typical P.I.M.P. environment, including
low-level features available only through source code modification
and technical details regarding packet structure and security
conventions, please refer to P.I.M.P. Tech Update H4.
P.I.M.P. is a flexible protocol designed for the bulk transfer of
data unsuited to a paper environment -- its core engine processes
information through an Asynchronous Switching System (hereafter,
A.S.S.), which typically has a light wrapper to keep the data
packets safe from monitoring by untrusted individuals. The wrapper
is removed during an exchange phase, in which the client system
performs a complex multipartite swap of data for digital currency.
As the client's account balance is transferred to the host system,
the wrapper is progressively removed until the entire data volume is
exposed for browsing in a private, secure transaction space, safe
from competitors.
Some P.I.M.P. systems use a floating-value exchange system for
potentially or partially compromised data, which maintains the
privacy of key elements during the transaction while attempting
to keep the damaged data from being analyzed before payment. This
allows the P.I.M.P. to maintain a strict make-or-break monetary
policy even if the data has been damaged or recently leased to other
clients. The downside is that a P.I.M.P. might scare away a
potential client by keeping too much damaged data private before
payment, so there is a self-balancing dynamic which protects clients
from greedy business practices and prevents the A.S.S. from being
misused by careless individuals.
(page torn here)
Should the A.S.S. become unusable for any reason, several backup
processing systems are configurable which, together, can handle all
but the most demanding client-side requests. These include the Line
Interrupt Parsing System, Bidirectional Onboard Object-Based System,
and Heuristic ANalysis Data Journal Online Buffer. Between the
external prots (B.O.O.B.S. and H.AN.D.J.O.B.) and the secondary
internal L.I.P.S. system, most processing requests can be handled
with little difficulty. An update is scheduled for late 1994 to
handle backdoor maintenance, but as of the current release,
attempting to push data in the back port will result in a damaged
dataset header and may cause P.I.M.P. to crash in and deny
transactions while attempting to keep as much money as possible.
(page torn here)
Well, that's the bulk of it.. if anything is uncovered in
the rest of the trash bag, I'll type up the text as soon as
I study the layout diagrams and pictures and figure it out.
_________________________________________________________________
Teabagging: The Other Side of Drug Abuse
_________________________________________________________________
Teabagging is the newest, most misunderstood drug craze to seize
the youth population of California since Ecstasy, and it could
easily be the strangest since smoking toadskins. This article is
meant to clarify the actual practice, and to shed some light on the
experience itself.
I will use this article to diagram the complex behavioral patterns
characterizing participants in teabagging groups. In preparation
for this article, I interviewed several teabag users to learn what
happens at a hypothetical gathering of baggers, as well as Southern
California medical doctor Aar Barns, who spoke to me only on the
condition that he remain anonymous.
_________________________________________________________________
Certain females who use hallucinogenic psychedelic drugs heavily
often produce secondary metabolites with highly hallucinogenic
potential in their bodies. (For the rest of this article, I will
refer to these females as hosts and to the actual participants as
users or baggers.) The potential of these compounds was not
recognized until late 1996, when a complex chemical process was
first theorized that was capable of transforming these relatively
useless metabolites into psychoactive compounds capable of producing
strong visual and perceptual hallucinations.
The host's sole function in a group of baggers is to provide
metabolite-rich urine as a raw material for processing into bags.
This urine contains chemicals which can be modified to create
compounds with hallucinogenic properties, which manifest themselves
in the system of the user via dermal osmotic interchange in a
solution of dimethyl sulfoxide and processed urea at an optimal
ratio of 22:78 DMSO-urea.
The urine used in making a batch of bags is always from a single
host. Fresh urine is preferred, but it loses specifically the
desirable, highly volatile hallucinogenic metabolites in a matter of
hours if it is not kept properly cold. The urine is thus kept
refrigerated between 33 and 38 degrees F until there is a full
gallon to process. However, if it is not used within about 3 hours
it begins to rapidly lose potency even if stored cold.
A host who can provide a full gallon of full-strength, still-warm
urine in the short timeframe of this process is somewhat of a
rarity; therefore, the refrigeration of the urine is a necessary
compromise though an unwanted one. One local group of baggers
selects women with disproportionately large bladder capacities and
feed them on LSD, chocolates, diuretics, and beer in order to
produce a more potent and massive urine throughput, but most baggers
choose not to modify the natural urinary function of their host.
Teabagging is still a relatively unknown practice and many people
are nearly cut off from having any access to a host at all, so those
with a group large enough to give them a choice in hosts are
considered to be lucky.
Here is a description of the lab process involved in producing the
teabags. Since this procedure is rather lengthy and involves
expensive laboratory equipment, I recommend it only to those who are
extremely familiar with standard chemical laboratory practice.
First, though, take a moment to read about its origin.
Here is a paragraph taken from _The Changing Consciousness: New
Drugs In The New World_ (C) 1996 by Dr. Myra Breckenridge, ISBN
1-87192-135-9.
The first scientist to actively centrifuge urine in modern Western
thought was General J. Easton Burroughs Hamelin. General Hamelin made
an important discovery in 1898 regarding synthesis of enantiomeric
ureates and related compounds in situ using a chemical separatory
technique combined with enzymatic fractionation and recombination of
the urea compounds under high pressure and heat. His discovery has
found only limited use in its century of published scrutiny,
primarily in the profession of animal husbandry, but has been adapted
by the technologically savvy post-modern subculture of California's
youth into a new drug. This 'synthesized rat-catcher', in the words
of a woman calling herself 'Iva Biggen', noted hallucinogenist poet
and teabagger par excellence, has 'borne a lifestyle, an addiction,
even a strange rite of passage, which has left the minds of
hundreds, maybe thousands, of America's youth in its wake.'
__________________________________________________________________
now, here's the part you skip if you don't want the dry boring old
science which I had to write in because I wanted to let those with
certain teabagging interests pursue their desires. To skip to the
next section, scan down 115 lines and you'll be through the nasty.
__________________________________________________________________
The urine is decanted into a Pyrex flask of sufficient volume to
hold 150% of the actual liquid volume. Add one tenth the urine's
volume of manganese hypoxide to the urine. Heat the mixture over a
medium flame to just before it boils and evaporate it to about half
of its original volume. In field laboratories visited during the
research for this article, the urine was typically measured to be
from 170 to 195 degrees F, but as a working rule, our subjects say
"[The urine] ... has to stay below boiling at all times."
After the evaporation stage, the complicated and dangerous reflux
phase is initiated. This process involves vacuum-drying of the rest
of the water in the urine, and a multiple-stage treatment and
refining process in which the urine is structurally catalyzed and
prepared for mixing with the DMSO. This phase is dangerous, and
only persons confident in advanced laboratory chemistry techniques
should attempt to reflux their urine using this process.
Vacuum-dried urine with no more than .03 _percent_ water content
is prepared. This dried urine is a dark yellow crystalline solid.
_____________________________________________________________________
:: CAUTION ::
Care should be taken to avoid breathing powdered urine, or the
gasses made when it is heated; it has a nauseating smell, and it
irritates the soft delicate linings of the throat and lungs with its
tangy stench. Work under a hood, or use a well-made respirator made
to filter out organic compounds and vapors.
_____________________________________________________________________
Grind the crystals with a glass muller until they are a fine
powder and place the powder in a large test tube or small
distillation flask. Heat the powder over a gentle flame until it
melts into a thick liquid. Mix it intimately with a clean dry
copper rod and heat the mixture slowly to 129 degrees F or until all
the powder dissolves. Add more urea powder until 100 ml of the
liquid is obtained.
Add 20 drops of 10% sodium hydroxide _drop by drop_ to the liquid.
This will destabilize the urea and permit fractionation of the
fragrant volatiles present in the uric concentrate. Keep heating
the liquid slowly until it attains a free-flowing liquid consistency
at approximately 180 degrees F and small bubbles start to form.
Add 20 drops of 2% copper sulfate solution, starting when the
first bubbles reach the top of the liquid. Stir well with a clean,
dry glass rod. The solution will change from yellow to a dark
greenish-blue as you add the copper sulfate.
Cool the mixture in an ice bath until white sediment starts to
precipitate from the liquid. Using a Buechner or a Hirsch funnel,
filter through pleated Whatman H3 filter paper, 10cm x 16 cm; avoid
fingerprinting the paper by handling it only by the corners. A
vacuum filtration system may be used to speed the process. Discard
the precipitate.
Reflux the liquid with 50 g of 90% benzoic acid and 65 ml of
methanol in a 300 ml round-bottomed flask for 85-90 minutes. After
the liquid, methanol, and benzoic acid are in the flask, swirl them
for 2-3 minutes to ensure proper mixing and add 10 ml concentrated
sulfuric acid. The flask should be attached to a condenser no
shorter than two feet; otherwise, the solvent will be lost.
Add 30 g dry chlorine salts to the liquid; this frees the ammonia
still present in the liquid.
Cool the liquid in a large ice bath until it reaches 30 degrees F.
Spin in a heated Landell centrifuge at 4500 rpm for 8 to 10 minutes
until the liquid separates into three distinct layers.
The first and lightest layer is disposable; it contains no
chemicals of interest to us. The second layer may be removed with a
micropipette; it makes a fine general-purpose solvent, and cleans
stains and discolorations from most surfaces gently and without
scratching even the most porous surfaces.
Mix the third layer with sufficient mercury to bind the heavier
constituents and re-spin to remove the settled mercury-amalgam.
Dispose of the mercury safely; it is no good for anything else, and
will contaminate any other mercury it is mixed with. The light
remainder fron the third layer, hereafter known as the third liquid,
will be used for the final process.
Bring the third liquid, along with exactly 33 g of dry phosphoric
acid, to 450 degrees F in a pressurized Pyrex centrifuging container
at 15 atmospheres and let it recombine for 15 minutes, until a vapor
sample from the container is seen to react explosively with lithium
chloride crystals upon condensation in an ice bath. Quickly take
the container and place it into the Landell centrifuge at 30 000
rpm; spin for only 45 seconds and gently remove from the centrifuge.
Next, before the third liquid sets and recombines because of
cooling, place the electrodes of an electrical source capable of
generating 220VAC and 10 amperes into the liquid at least 6 cm from
each other. Slowly energize the circuit and bring the electricity
up to 10 amps over a period of 4 to 5 minutes. As the electrical
charge increases, you may hear a popping sound; this is the sound
made by the compounds recombining violently via the electrical
charge after being broken up by the heat, electricity, acidity, and
pressure of the previous process. The solution produces tiny
bubbles of hydrogen gas and flakes of precipitate salts which settle
onto the electrodes; keep flames away. You will start to smell
ozone a few moments after turning the electricity on, depending upon
the exact temperature of the third solution. Allow the liquid to
transmit electricity until the ozone smell and popping sound stop,
usually after two to three hours.
________________________________________________________________
If you wanted to skip the preceding chemistry details, continue
reading from here. If you read the previous section and want to
skip the rest, it's you who will be confused, not me, so be my
guest. If you skipped over it all, how did you read this part?
________________________________________________________________
The technical aspect of the preparation is now complete; all that
remains is the final investment of chemicals into the bags. Mix the
now modified third solution with pure DMSO to a ratio of 78 units
third solution to 22 units DMSO. Stir well, mixing any lumps back
into the solution.
Teabags are soaked for 1 to 2 hours in the finished solution, or
"soup", which is typically held at 90 degrees F during the soaking.
They are then stored wet in heat-sealed plastic bags to preserve the
chemistry which has taken so much careful work to prepare.
Just before being used, the teabags are often sprinkled with lemon
juice, which serves two purposes: it is a sensory invigoratory
agent when it is absorbed via the DMSO, and it serves as a source of
citric acid, which is theorized to extend the duration of the peak
hallucinatory time. Teabagging depletes vitamin C in the body
rapidly, and replacement allows the subjective experience to
continue for roughly twice as long as if the vitamin C level was
allowed to bottom out. Neither variations in bag temperature nor
metabolic exertion levels during usage do not cause a significant
subjective difference in hallucinogen compound absorption rate,
according to input from heavy users on my panel.
The active secondary metabolites which are most commonly observed
in gas chromatography of user body fluids seem to be the result of
an ordered, complex series of chemical interactions in the host's
body between post-hallucinogenic metabolites and other chemicals,
particularly food breakdown components, present in the host's
digestive tract.
Other foodservice chemicals -- particularly those found in the
diets of acid-eating vegetarian hippie girls with large breasts,
such as whipped cream and potato chip grease -- and medications are
being researched in order to determine possible interactivities
between commonly prescribed drugs and the metabolite compounding
process. Tetracycline seems to have a damping effect on the
molecular resynthesis of the active metaboles at levels as low as
.25mg/KG of the host's body weight, by an as yet improperly known
mechanism. In contrast with host interactions, tetracycline has no
statistical effect on the results of laboratory double-blind bagging
tests with users.
The host's eating habits and choices may also influence the gross
effectiveness of these compounding interactions by changing the
chemical composition of the urine, and thus altering the resynthesis
process via introduction of nonspecified catalysts and selective
damping agents of a highly arbitrary mixture. This means that even
a user with a well-established host from whom he has gotten
excellent results will often get unpredictable results when the host
is ill, taking tetracycline, or for unknown reasons not yet
understood or categorized.
DMSO is a potentially dangerous chemical, and though there are
many people who use it successfully for a variety of pharmaceutical
and therapeutic reasons, I urge you to consult a professional
regarding its proper use before getting anywhere near it. There are
several grades of DMSO available, and the wrong grade could contain
potentially hazardous chemicals not intended for human ingestion.
The mixture is invariably applied as a local topical to thin skin
on the user's scalp or genitals via an absorbent applicator made of
a salvaged teabag. The brand of tea is unimportant, but one
participant in my interview swore by Red Rose brand because every
box comes with a ceramic figurine as a premium. He collects the
figurines and displays them in his home at bag parties as tiny
trophies of his bagging experience.
Some users empty and rinse the bag, refilling it with a mix of
chopped kelp and a small quantity of herbs, but most opt for simply
recycling a used teabag. Both methods seem to offer good results to
their users, but the slightly clammy feel of the kelp against the
skin is preferred by some, and described by one newer user in her
late teens as "a total blast... when the DMSO hits the seaweed, it
just absorbs in and tingles all over." The kelp is either picked
fresh from the beach or kept on hand in the refrigerator, in a glass
jar or airtight container, to retard spoilage and keep smells from
mixing with the refrigerator's contents.
The subjective effects of teabagging have been best described as
entheogenic in nature, meaning in layman's terms that it causes
vivid hallucinations in which users often report having "talked to
God, and seen his workshop", in the words of an experienced user.
Others have described bagging in their own words: "The scariest
single moment I have ever experienced. .. I never knew plaster
Buddhas could talk." and "The peaks were fluffy, almost
meringuelike. I paced myself for what felt like an eternity, then I
got tired and lost my pace, and I guess I both got ahead of myself
and behind myself at the same time."
The "high" peaks typically begin within ten to thirty minutes of
usage, include bright, racing visual distortions, time contraction
and dilation, and mild chills, and typically last from two to six
hours, depending on host and user chemistry and on the bag's
potency.
Many users find increased facility in writing, particularly when
the subject is abstract or conceptual in nature; however, there are
often sections of rambling incoherency mixed in with the
spontaneous, inspired results. This serves to make technical or
scientific writing nearly impossible to read, and even less likely is
it that a teabagger will want to try writing such material while under
the influence. The mental desynchronizing effect of only being able to
write with the intuitive, nonverbal right hemisphere of the brain is
generally considered negligible by users, and is actually used
purposefully by some to explore the less structured side of their
writing.
Artistic abilities, as measured by the Sculmann Standardized
Aesthetic Inventory, increased by an adjusted mean of 45% over
predrug scores; in an unsurprising development, Surrealist art and
Dadaism were found more intriguing than most all other styles,
particularly Impressionism, which finished in dead last place in an
impromptu art appreciation discussion held at the bagging party I
attended. We used H. H. Arnason's _History of Modern Art_ as our
sourcebook for pictures.
Aftereffects last anywhere from 18 to 60 hours depending
on user compatibility with the particular host's metabolites and on
metabolite breakdown rates.
NB -- Formal laboratory research on the biology of teabagging has
only been instituted as of late 1996, and is a field of study
fraught with frustrating inconsistency of information. New results
are being published constantly and recent research is available in
Drug Dependency Journal, a private academic monthly publication
written by licensed physicians and medical students in the field of
biochemical and drug-related research.
Results of teabagging are notoriously inconsistent; baggers often
find that a particular host's bag won't "kick" for them -- meaning
that the hallucinogenic results of that host's byproducts didn't
react strongly with them and provide not only the mental and
emotional high of bagging, but also the short-lived gastric cramp
which is the hallmark of onset in a particularly "gushy", or potent,
bag. A bag which has no effects for the user is often passed on to
a friend in the hopes that it might do more for another person than
for oneself. This "bum-swapping" or "sliding", in the bagger's
vernacular, can extend the value of a bag to a person for whom it
will provide workable. A bag that does no good for anyone in the
room is often called ersatz or bum and can be saved for communal
mixing with other bum sacks when good bags are rare.
All this chemical roulette is of course highly dependent upon the
physical condition of the host. For example, vegetarians carry a
lower urinary creatine load. This acts as a damping agent for the
low-grade diethylamide-diethyloxene reaction commonly observed in
the wastestream of persons who consume a large proportion of their
protein in the form of red meat. The most common unpleasant
side-effect of teabagging with a host with a high creatine baseline
is the splitting headache that the diethyloxene compounds bring with
them as they decay into their unstable oxidizing forms,
1,3,5-triethylene and 1,3,7-dioxene, both of which freely penetrate
the blood vessels supplying the brain and cause vascular contraction
via cell wall protein sublimation. In a practical sense, this means
that vegetarian hosts are more desirable than meat-eating ones.
The white cotton fisherman hats popular in U.S. teabagging circles
are inexpensive, nondescript, and hold the small blue gel cold-paks
available in first-aid kits just right against the head to ease the
pain of that very headache, as well as making for a handy place to
hide the scalp-to-teabag connection. This may explain the
predominance of white sailor caps and other, similar articles of
clothing in the bagging underground's dress code. And since the bag
must be in contact with the scalp or genitalia in order to work, the
hat offers a degree of privacy and camouflage to the bagger when he
is in public places.
_________________________________________________________________________
rUHUm,
&UHUHUHp
distribute this document only `HUHUHUH1
in its original format please `HUHUH:
.;!UHUHUHUHUn. iHUHU'
please upload only the original ;UHUH' ~UHUHUH!. HUHU!
zipfile when you distribute it! .HUHUY `UHUHUHUdUH!'
.HUHUi `UHUHUHU,
send submissions to the usual @UHUHf `UHUHUHU.
address - danozano@juno.com UHUHUH, `UHUHUH;
HUHUHUH. !UHUHU;
inquire about the GARGANTUA UHUHUHUH. ;HUHUH'
library of quasireligious UHUHUHUH. IUHUH'
art: sofa-sized oils HUHUHUH,, .iUHM^'
at a fraction of HUHUHUHUHUHU!^
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UH' .......
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Please send anything of interest including cheese recipes, gangster
pictures, pony shows, dog hair, zoom shots of your nostril, buggery,
cattle-calls, duck calls, wrong numbers, headlines, newspaper
ads, words in a different language, ascii art, sounds, PGP
messages you've lost the key for, giraffe bones, poems, garga
Dragonball Z trading cards, little plastic doll toys, nt gargantua
bread tags, lost mail, found mail, cancelled garga agargantua
checks, blank checks, blank stares, gargantuagarga agargantua
and a baby's arm holding an gargantuagarga agargantua
apple to DANOZANO gargantuagarg tuagargan
PO Box 5083 tuagargantua argantu
Anaheim, agargantuagarg
CALIF antuagarga
92814 ntuagar
-1083 gantua
for your *free* bonus prize. Remember, include a return address .++++++.
and you'll receive something guaranteed to make your brain itch. +++++++++.
! ++++' `+++
! ++~ +++
! ! +++
! ! +++
! ! ,+++
the first 10 replies by mail for this issue receive a second gift ++:'
if they write 'babalou' somewhere on their reply! send early and +++'
often for best results. Lick thoroughly using a side to side +++'
motion for maximum adhesion. Do not place on uneven surfaces . +++'
Light fuse and get away. Do not place in mouth unless under ++.,+++'
direct orders of a medical caregiver, in which case place ++++++'
in mouth up to four times daily. GARGANTUA (tm) brand `++++'
candles -- guaranteed to stay lit for three weeks !
Don't settle for less... drink GARGANTUA. Bye.
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