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1991-09-25
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From: andy@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Andrew Hackard)
Subject: More things you never see on ST...
Date: 23 Sep 91 06:44:49 GMT
[Stolen from rec.humor.funny. Enjoy...Andrew]
Some other things that never happen on Star Trek...
>>A redshirt sneaks down a deserted corridor, turns a corner, and suddenly
has a surprise birthday party.
>>A redshirt manages to avoid the thrown knife, phaser shot, arrow, or
whatever.
>>McCoy says, "On second thought, maybe I'm a carpenter and NOT a doctor
after all."
>>The deflector shields hold through the duration of the battle.
>>Kirk meets a woman whom he's known for years but never had sex with.
>>Sulu and Chekov get to do something interesting.
>>Kirk says, "Uhura, I'm frightened."
>>Kirk gets Court-martialed for violating the Prime Directive.
>>A Klingon says to a companion, "Hey, I like you."
>>Harry Mudd manages to turn a healthy profit selling something legal.
>>An android race turns out to be completely friendly and not threatening
or menacing in any way.
>>Some patient of McCoy's who's NOT a central character lives.
>>Riker manages to avoid seeming like a William Shatner clone.
>>The crew of the original Enterprise disperse, Sulu gets his own ship, and
nobody suffers major emotional trauma.
>>A major character dies and isn't resurrected.
>>The mysterious a giant threatening object is on a direct course for some
world other than Earth.
>>Somebody says, "You know, the Enterprise-D looks really stupid! What is
it, a `Close Encounters' reject???"
>>Artificial intelligence and android technology make human exploration of
the galaxy obsolete.
>>McCoy says, "He'll live, Jim."
--Andrew "Actually, that IS a banana, but it
andy@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu sure is great to see you anyway."
Disclaimer:Given X, where X is a member of the set of my opinions, it is
not the case that X must be a member of the set of the opinions
of any given Y, such that Y != me.